Thanks to those three people who reviewed! (you know who you are! Free copies of the Grimmerie for you guys!) Now...Chapter four! Here goes nothing!
*Everyone is in Doctor Dillamond's History class. (except for Morrible)*
Elphaba:*is reading a book*
Galinda: *is gossiping with her friends*
Boq: *is staring longingly at Galinda*
Nessa: *is staring longingly at Boq*
Doctor Dillamond: *enters the classroom* HELLO CLASS!
Shiz students: Hello...*go back to doing whatever they were doing before*
Doctor Dillamond: *picks up a stack of papers* I have read some of your most recent essays, and I have to say. They are VERY DELICIOUS. *Takes a bite out of one of the papers* Mmm! Shakespeare!
Elphaba: WAIT! What grade did I get?
Doctor Dillamond: *takes paper out of his mouth and looks at it* Umm... Miss Elphaba... You got an... *stares at soggy paper* AN A+!
Elphaba: YAAAAY! *jumps up and down*
Galinda: What grade did I get?
Doctor Dillamond: Umm...yes...Miss Glinda...*looks through stack of papers*
Glinda: *stomps foot* IT'S GAH-linda! WITH A GAH!
Doctor Dillamond: *still looking through papers* Oh, of course...Miss GLLinda. *finds Galinda's essay* Oh, here it is! You fail.
Galinda: WHAT? WHY?
Doctor Dillamond: Miss GLLinda,
Galinda: IT'S GAH-LINDA!
Doctor Dillamond: *nods* That's what I said: Miss GLLLinda. Your paper was...well...interesting. But sadly, it was very poorly written. The structure was terrible, the grammer was even worse. And don't even get me started on the-
Galinda: JUST TELL ME WHY I FAILED! I DON'T UNDERSTAND SMART-PERSON TALK!
Elphaba: *stands up* First of all, Doctor Dillamond is an ANIMAL! NOT A PERSON!
Doctor Dillamond: *walks over to Galinda* Thank you, Miss Elphaba. But I can handle this. *turns to Galinda, speaking slowly and nodding* YOUR ESSAY WAS ONLY TWO PAGES LONG AND YOU DON'T WRITE GOOD.
Galinda: *nods* OH...Okay!
*Elphaba rolls her eyes*
Doctor Dillamond: Now, class. *turns to blackboard* Who can tell me what started the Great Ozian War of 1812?
*Elphaba raises her hand*
Doctor Dillamond: *looks around the classroom* Anyone ELSE besides Miss Elphaba?
Galinda: *waves her hands around* OOH! OOH! ME! MEEEEEE!
Doctor Dillamond: YES! Miss GLLLINDA!
Galinda: *stomps her foot* OH, COME ON! CAN'T YOU AT LEAST TRY TO GET MY NAME RIGHT?
Doctor Dillamond: I AM! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR A GOAT TO TALK? JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!
Galinda: Oh, I don't know the answer.
Doctor Dillamond: THEN WHY DID YOU RAISE YOUR HAND?
Galinda: Oh. I dunno.
Director: OH FOR THE LOVE OF OZ! JUST FLIP THE DANG CHALKBOARD!
Doctor Dillamond: Okay. *flips chalkboard and finds written on it in red paint: ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD*
*Shiz students gasp*
Doctor Dillamond: *throws the globe at the chalkboard* NO! *throws his desk at the chalkboard*
Elphaba: Doctor Dillamond? I don't think throwing things is going to help.
Doctor Dillamond: ROOOAARR! *picks up random Shiz Student and throws him at the chalkboard* WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS? *throws a bench at the chalkboard* WHO? *throws a chair at the chalkboard* WELL? I'M WAITING!
*all Shiz Students except Elphaba all run out of the classroom screaming*
Nessa: *is freaking out* ELPHABA! PUSH ME OUT OF HERE! THAT GOAT IS CRAZY!
*Elphaba shoves Nessa off the stage into the Orchestra pit*
Nessa: AHH! ELPHABA! I HATE YOU!
Elphaba: *ignores Nessa and goes over to Doctor Dillamond, who has run out of things to throw* Animals should be seen and not heard? Doctor Dillamond, I'm so sorry.
Doctor Dillamond: Oh, don't worry about me, Miss Elphaba. Just go and have fun with your friends.
Elphaba: I have no friends. *randomly pulls a sandwich out of her pocket* Would you like to share my lunch?
Doctor Dillamond: *takes the sandwich and eats it* Mmm! Salami! *hands Elphaba the paper* HERE YOU GO!
Elphaba: *takes the paper and looks at it* Umm...thanks?
Doctor Dillamond: No problem. *finishes Elphaba's sandwich* Miss Elphaba, there is something BAD happening in Oz!
Elphaba: Like what?
Doctor Dillamond: Animals are losing the ability to speak!
Elphaba: Then how come YOU'RE still talking? Hm?
Doctor Dillamond: I MEAN OTHER ANIMALS!
I HEARD OF AN OX
A PROFESSOR FROM QUOX-
Elphaba: Wait just a second...didn't you say that YOU were the ONLY ANIMAL TEACHER LEFT?
Doctor Dillamond: Did I? *looks at the Director* DID I?
Director: YES! NOW SING! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MUSICAL! *throws a clarinet at Elphaba*
Elphaba: WHAT ARE YOU THROWING STUFF AT ME FOR? HE'S THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE SINGING!*points to Doctor Dillamond*
Director: *throws a violin at Doctor Dillamond* SING!
Doctor Dillamond: Okay! Just stop throwing musical instruments!
SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING IN OZ!
Elphaba:
SOMETHING BAD? HAPPENING IN OZ?
Doctor Dillamond: YES! DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? I SAID, SOMETHING BAAAAAD WAS HAPPENING IN OZ!
Elphaba: SOMETHING BAD? HAPPENING IN OZ?
Doctor Dillamond: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
Elphaba: Oh. Okay.
*Doctor Dillamind glares at her*
Elphaba: WHAT?
Doctor Dillamond: *sighs* Okay, let me re-phrase this: YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Elphaba: *screams & falls off her chair* OKAY! Wait...HOW am I supposed to do something about it? *Doctor Dillamond hands her a copy of the script, which she reads.* AAAHHH! I'm gonna DIE?
Doctor Dillamond: *takes the script away from Elphaba and eats it* Well, No. Not exactly. You only pretend to die so that all of Oz will let you and Fiyero be happy and run away together. And the only way they'll let you do that is if they think you're dead. They think you're a Wicked Witch already, so you pretend to die so the Gale Force will stop trying to kill you and you can flee Oz.
Elphaba: *is REALLY confused* WHAT? I'M THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST? AND ALL OF OZ WANTS ME DEAD? AND WHO THE HECK IS THIS FIYERO GUY?
Director: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW ANY OF THAT! *glares at Doctor Dillamond*
Doctor Dillamond: Sorry!
Director: *throws her clipboard at Doctor Dillamond* WHERE'S YODA?
Yoda: *walks onstage* YOU WILL REMEMBER NOTHING THAT THE GOAT TOLD YOU. *waves his hand in front of Elphaba*
Elphaba: *is in a Jedi mind trance* I will remember nothing that Doctor Dillamond told me. *snaps out of her trance & looks down at Yoda* OMG! YOU'RE GREEN TOO! OMG! OMG! OMG! *squeals and hugs Yoda*
Yoda: *looks at the Director* COMING OUT OF MY PAYCHECK THIS IS. *pats Elphaba on the head* I'm gonna go now... *runs frantically offstage*
Elphaba: *looks disappointed* WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? COME BACK LITTLE GREEN MUNCHKIN DUDE! *runs offstage after Yoda*
Doctor Dillamond: *is left alone onstage* Umm...DO I STILL HAVE TO SING?
Director: *slaps herself* CUE SCENE CHANGE!
I know, not my best chapter. But I promise: Chapter 5 will be better! :D (hopefully...)