Dedicated to xxwhispersofdreamsxx, queen of the Klaroline fandom.
.
Don't make me sad, don't make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don't know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let's go get high
The road is long, we carry on
Try to have fun in the meantime
.
They are fourteen and they are walking to Elena's home because it's Thursday and it's the holidays.
"I told you Bon, my daddy promised me it was over. He is coming home now and he is going to stay".
Bonnie pushes a rebellious curl away from her face while Elena is smiling.
"That's great, Care".
"But anyway, when Daddy came back he gave me that beautiful ballerina which makes music and all. You should come to my house to see it Saturday. We could eat some ice cream and watch that new TV show about Vampires".
"I can't", sighs Bonnie, "my mom wants us to go see my Grams".
"The crazy one who talks non sense about witches ?"
Bonnie nods after rolling her eyes. "Old people are just crazy".
"Maybe she's telling the truth and we are three goddesses".
They all laugh. Then Caroline stops when she sees the most beautiful sight in life. A boy flying. Fine, he is on a skateboard but it's like he is flying; his curls in the wind, his closed eyes, he seems so free. She is fascinated by the vision in the pavement on the other side of the road.
"It's Klaus".
The boy disappears and she returns her stare on Elena.
"Who?"
"A friend of Katherine's. His family lives here but he goes to a boarding school in England, because his father lives there and his mother lives here with her husband. Kat says she's a cheating bitch and her husband is an asshole because Klaus only comes on summers".
It was the first time she saw him.
She is in the kitchen, taking a glass of water because, hello, you don't have a body like that by drinking Coke and eating pizzas. Except if you are a Gilbert girl but life is unfair.
"Well, well, well, what have we here?"
"Go bother someone else", she replies bored, closing the door of the fridge.
Sure, Damon is here; wicked smile, blue eyes too bright and shirt opened but he is not alone.
"I told you they all love me", adds Damon at the stranger next to him.
She knows who the stranger is but she has never been that close to him. Never apart from two years ago, her sixteenth birthday when he had wished her a happy birthday with a kiss on the cheek. She was so red.
"I can see that", the blond guy replies flatly, "hello", he adds.
And here is the accent she has heard like three times in her life. She scoffs, grabs her glass from the counter and tries to go to Elena's room.
"Where are you going, Blondie?"
She glares at Damon's hand on her elbow.
"My name is Caroline".
"Damon leave the poor cheerleader alone", Kat smiles from the door.
"Oh Kat, you know me, I wouldn't hurt the little bird".
He releases her and goes next to Katherine.
"Come on Klaus", she says, already in the stairs with Damon, Pearl and Stefan.
She observes her nails, waiting for them to be in Katherine's room before joining Elena and Bonnie.
"You go to class with my sister, right?"
She looks up and is trapped in his green, maybe blue eyes.
"Yeah, we're friends", she manages to answer.
He smiles, showing his dimples.
"It was nice meeting you Caroline", he says.
And then he's gone. She takes a deep breath and goes to Elena's room. This summer has surely begun well.
"What were you doing?" Elena asks as Caroline closes the door.
"I had the luck to cross paths with Damon", she answers sitting on the bed.
"Talk about luck", Bonnie snorts.
"I swear I don't know what Kat is seeing in this jackass", Elena replies.
She is lying on the floor of her room, her legs pressed against the wall.
"He's kind of handsome".
The three of them sigh because if there is one thing that everyone knows in Mystic Falls is that Damon Salvatore is handsome.
"He is still stupid and rude", Bonnie concludes.
"Remind me why we are in your room instead of outside where the sun is shining?" Caroline asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Because it is too hot and I'm too lazy to move", Elena answered, lying on the floor, her hair like a halo.
"And you, why aren't you with Kol?"
Bonnie raises her head to look at her friend before returning her gaze to the computer.
"Because he has things to do and I have things to do and that's it".
"Wow, talk about romanticism".
"Shut it Elena, we can't all have a Matt at our feet".
Elena giggles before agreeing.
"We are perfect, I guess we have to start getting used to jealousy".
"This is so funny Elena", the blonde jokes before throwing a pillow on her friend's face.
They still hear Elena's laugh beneath it.
"Care, come see this GIF. This Tumblr people are killing me, I swear".
Bonnie puts the computer on the bed while Caroline glances at the screen.
"OH MY GOD! Lena, you have to see this", Caroline manages to say before laughing.
"Too lazy. What is it?"
"They put Patrick the starfish like everywhere, with his mouth open", Bonnie explains.
"Anyone can do that with some motivation and time", Elena replies shrugging.
"Well, lazy ass, come on, do it. Remember when she tried to make a GIF of her and that actor?"
"Yes, she couldn't even scan her photo", Bonnie adds.
The two girls laugh out loud.
"You're right, they are incredible people. I can't even move from the floor to grab a Coke".
"Where are you going?"
Caroline rolls her eyes. She has been in her room, doing nothing for three hours but her mother has to talk to her five minutes before she has to go.
"At a party".
"With who?"
She bites her tongue, closing her eyes. She doesn't need this interrogation now.
"Elena and Bonnie".
She inspects herself in front of the mirror one last time before exiting her room.
"Maybe you shouldn't go out today, I mean we could have dinner together or something. Maybe your Dad will be home".
"I can't Mom, I'm already gone", she says smiling.
She kisses her mother's cheek and gets out. God, she can't stand that house, can't stand this life anymore. She sees the sadness in her mother's eyes, the loneliness but she doesn't know what to do, what to say. She just knows how to be there and talking about feelings isn't really her thing anymore.
She is putting beer in her cup, even if she doesn't like it. At all. She is a princess, not a peasant but well, it's beer or beer and she won't die of thirst. She lets the liquid fall in the cup with a little disgust.
"Not your poison?"
She turns around with a gasp and she is surprised by how close he is to her. He is smiling as she shakes her hand because the beer has fallen on it.
"No, I don't like beer. Do you have a tissue or something?"
She puts the cup on the beer keg trying to wash her hand with her other one.
"You can dry your hand on my shirt, no problem".
She raises her head, eyes wide.
"No! It's gross".
"Or you can stay with your hand full of that disgusting thing".
She frowns, her eyes switching between her hand and his clean and dry and white t-shirt. He has his eyebrows raised and he finds it funny to see her struggle so much just for a t-shirt.
"If you're sure you won't be mad, then I guess, maybe"
He grabs the bottom of his shirt, takes her wet hand and cleans it with it. She stares hard at her feet. She can't believe that Klaus, of all people, is drying her hand with his t-shirt in the middle of a party in the woods. She wants the ground to open beneath her feet, she is so embarrassed, the coolest guy ever finally talks to her and she has made herself look dumb.
"You're welcome, Caroline".
She finally looks at him and she knows she is red like a tomato but he is gently smiling at her. And he remembers her name.
"Thank you, you didn't have to take care of a dumbass like me".
"I just cleaned your hand, I didn't save your life", he says, rolling his eyes, "so, I bet it isn't really your poison, then".
"I prefer wine or champagne. But well, it isn't the type of alcohol you find at a party in the woods".
She whispers the last, resisting to the urge to roll her eyes. He chuckles, looking at her.
"You are too much of a princess for a party in the woods, aren't you?"
She knows he thinks of her as a fragile little brat, she knows he sees what they all see when they look at her pink nails, her blonde hair and her blue eyes. Suddenly, he isn't the cool guy on his skateboard who looked like he didn't have a single care in the world.
"Well, I happen to have taste".
She scoffs at her hand, at him who is disappointing her and at her friends who left her so they could hang out with their wonderful boyfriends. She is going home and that's final. She turns to glance at her cup of beer. This night sucks.
"It's rare to come across such quality nowadays".
She freezes on her sport, she can't believe he says that, can't believe he is as perfect as she thought he was.
"Well, you wouldn't happen to have champagne in your pocket?" she smiles at him.
He shakes his head but raises his index.
"But I do have whiskey".
She hates whiskey more than she hates beer, she hates its smell, she hates it more than her inability to express her feelings, more than the looks people give her in the street, more than anything.
"I'd rather die of thirst but thank you".
He is not smiling anymore but tilts his head to the left, observing her.
"What are you doing at a party in the woods where you can't even drink because there's only beer?"
"I just didn't want to stay home, that's all".
She shrugs, her eyes on the floor. She already hates this conversation, waiting for the why.
"Then, what are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. I guess I will go home".
She really doesn't want to go home but being alone in a party with a sad face, smelling beer is so not the reputation she needs to have. Even home is better than this. She raises her head, smiles and starts to walk away. But he grabs her elbow and makes her turn around. She glances at his hand on her arm and then at his face.
"Or you can stay with me".
Is he saying what she thinks he's saying?
"You're sure you want to hang out with me?"
"They don't want to put a sock in it. It bores me to no end. Can we sit somewhere?"
"Sure", she smiles.
HE IS TALKING TO HER, OH MY GOD, HE IS TALKING TO HER! They are like a billion of little things jumping in her brain, in all her body and she just wants to scream and jump everywhere. But she stays calm, she's Caroline Forbes, she'll do that later.
They walk to a trunk which is there, he sits and she eyes the thing, wrinkling her nose. He chuckles and gets rid of his jacket, laying it there so she can sit.
"If her Majesty can take her place".
She sketches a bow and sits.
"Do you still skateboard?"
He was looking at the woods, his eyes seemed to be lost in it but now, they are on her, a teasing look on his face.
"Yes, I do".
She smiles, tilting her head. She likes the idea that he keeps skating. She likes the idea that he is telling her. She likes the idea that she doesn't have to start an investigation. Again. Yes, she's a creeper.
"Do you skate?"
"Oh no", she laughs, "too dangerous, I'm a living chicken".
He shrugs.
"You won't ever feel as free as you do when you skateboard".
"I guess I'll try. One day".
"You will love it. So, did you graduate?"
"Yes, with a special mention from the jury".
"Smart girl", he breathes.
He wants to take a gulp of whiskey but he has seen the face she made when he talked about it.
"And what are you doing? I mean, do you study or work or something?"
"I study history and arts, I start a Master in September".
"Smart boy", she says with a smile, "what is your favorite history period?"
"I like Antiquity, I would have loved to live in the fifth century before Christ or meet Julius Ceaser. But I fell in love with mythology".
"So you want to be a Greek hero?"
"There is Egyptian and Nordic mythology as well but the Greek is my favorite, yes".
"I read Médée and Phèdre and I may have bought Homer's books".
He smiles fully, happily surprised. Nobody seems to be interested in his idols.
"Let me guess? It was after watching Troy with Brad Pitt".
"Okay, you're right, I wanted to know if the story with Briseis was true".
He chuckles.
"There is no way to know if Greek Mythology is true because it's Mythology".
"It depends on what you call Mythology, I mean, Achilles existed, the mythological parts are only the fact that he's Thetis' son, right? And Briseis is only a girl so I don't see why the meeting of two human beings is Mythology".
They talk for what feels like hours about Mythology, arts, History, literature.
"Care, sorry to interrupt but I'm going home and I wanted to know if you wanted me to drive you home", Elena says, a tired smile on her face.
"What time is it?"
"It's one".
"I'll be at your car in two seconds".
"All right. Good bye Klaus", Elena greats, leaving.
She stands up and he does the same, they are face to face and they don't know what to say which is pretty stupid since they had been talking for hours.
"Well, I hope it was a good night for you and it didn't bother you to talk about History at a party".
"No, not at all, it was interesting, you're very smart".
She smiles.
"Good night Klaus".
She waves at him and starts walking away.
"Caroline, wait".
She stops, turns around and he is face to face with her. He grabs her hand, taking a black pen out of his back pocket and writes on it.
"If you want to hang out one day, just call".
She nods, too surprised to do anything but that. She walks to Elena's car and she feels like she's walking on a cloud.
She hears the screams, the tears, the doors which slam and eventually the silence which takes the entire place, which eats this family with delectation. She grabs her phone, glancing at the paper on the nightstand.
"Hey Klaus".
"Caroline?"
She breaths, a little smile on her lips, her gaze lost in the darkness of her room.
"I was just wondering what you were doing".
"Nothing why?"
She hears him move.
"I can't sleep. Go out with me?"
"Where?"
"At the park".
"I'll be there in 10 minutes".
"You come in skateboard?"
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason. See you soon".
She smiles and hangs up. She puts some jean shorts on, keeps her white wife beater on and goes out. The park isn't too far away but she is a little afraid of being alone outside, there isn't a sound and for a second, she imagines someone kidnaps her, someone kills her, she imagines her parents and she can't imagine anymore because she doesn't know them. She sits on the bench, bringing her knees against her chest, resting her chin on her knees. The atmosphere is warm and when she takes a deep breath, it smells summer, it smells happiness but this endless sky just makes her sad. How can you expect to matter when looking at stars which have been shining for centuries? You're nothing against the immensity of the universe, just sand.
She hears the friction of the skate's wheels on the pavement and when she turns her head, he's here – an incarnation of freedom. He wears a plain white t-shirt, a faded jean and he is just skating, a peaceful expression on his face.
"Cigarettes are disgusting".
"Tell me you never smoke".
"I don't smoke cigarettes".
"What a naughty girl!"
She shrugs, a big smile on her face.
"A girl has to have her fun".
"That she does. Want me to make you have fun?"
She raises a single eyebrow at him, a sly smile on her lips.
"If you think you can handle it".
He laughs, shaking his head. They smoke weed.
"Come lay next to me, the sky is beautiful".
She doesn't hesitate to lie in the dirty grass.
"You see the same sky in England?" She asks, turning her head to see his face.
"Yes", he says, turning his head as well.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah".
His nose is touching hers and then his lips touch hers and their eyes close at the same time. She kisses him back, his hand finding their way in her locks, his body getting closer to hers, her hand gripping his t-shirt. He is finally on top of her, her hands on his scalp and on his back, his knee between her legs, his hands on her waist, her neck, her cheek, his lips biting, nipping, her tongue licking, teasing. His breath is uneven as she licks his earlobe, as he kisses her cheekbone, as his thumb caresses the skin of her hip, as she bits his neck, teasing. She closes her eyes, enjoying his warmth, his tongue, his smell, his mouth, his weigh, his hands, all of it on her.
He buries his head in her neck, her hands massaging his hair. She sees stars everywhere, the sky is infinity, the night is endless, this moment is eternal.
"Did you find something on Briseis?"
"Homer says she existed but well, he says tales, not the truth".
She feels his breath near her breast and she thinks about the shower she has to take with all this grass in her hair, she wishes she could just fall asleep.
"When I was little, I thought there was a fairy for everything. I mean, a fairy to make flowers grow, one to make the wind, one to make the TV function".
He is playing with her fingers, frowning.
"So did you believe in magic or that they really work all the time?"
"No, it just, you know, they did that. I didn't think practically, it just seemed natural that fairies were making everything. I mean the TV couldn't possibly function alone, someone had to do it".
"I never really thought about how things work when I was little, I guess".
"I even thought they were making a sun for every day", she laughs.
"When did you stop believing?"
"School taught me that the Earth turns around the Sun which is big and unique".
"And you chose to believe Galilee? I think I prefer your theory on fairies".
"I know, it just makes so much more sense than some little fairies who work".
The light is changing and she asks Klaus to check his clock because her phone is dead.
"Four o'clock".
She sighs.
"I have to go home".
He rolls on his back, his right hand under his head, the other one on his stomach, his eyes closed. She pushes the tip of her tongue against his lips, she kisses his lips and his cheek and goes.
When she gets home, she doesn't make a sound. There is light in the living room, the TV is on and her father is sleeping on the couch. Without making a sound, she turns the TV off, grabs a cover from the armchair and covers her father. She kisses his forehead lightly, today, he smells like Richard. She goes in her bed, pulls her hair in a bun after throwing her shorts on the floor. She sleeps with a smell of grass, weed and something definitively like Klaus in the air.
She is cooking her breakfast, making pancakes. The music is on and she is moving her body, dressed in her shorts and tank top. She hears a knock on the door, finishes her pancake and opens it.
"Hello".
He observes her hair in a bun, some rebellious locks framing her face and all her skin is exposed. What a devilish angel!
"Hey, I was just making breakfast".
She gestures for him to enter and goes to the kitchen. She can't believe she is wearing her old pajama when a beautiful one is sleeping in her closet. How stupid!
She restarts making pancakes, fuming at herself.
"Do you want coffee, orange juice or pineapple juice? A tea?" She adds teasingly.
He smirks, he can't believe it's that simple. He thought he would come to her house and she would be asking questions like why didn't you call me and are we together and all this girly crap which bores him. But she is smiling, teasing, offering breakfast like it's fine if they made out one week ago and didn't talk until today.
"Coffee, please. And who eats breakfast at noon?"
She glances at him.
"Us, I guess", she says flipping the last pancake.
She is happy to see him, she thought they made out and that was it, nothing more but here he is, sitting on the table in her kitchen. He shrugs and observes her take a cup, fills it with coffee, putting it on the table. He observes her putting chocolate powder in a cup, pouring milk in it and putting it in the microwave. One minute later, pancakes, jelly, butter, coffee and chocolate with milk are on the table.
"Bon appétit", she says, grabbing a pancake.
He nods, playing with his cup. How ironic that her cool attitude is making him nervous.
"Do you want something else? I mean, if pancakes are not your thing".
"No it's perfectly fine, I was just thinking".
"Well, don't hurt yourself, we're on holidays".
And he wonders of she is talking about the breakfast or their relationship. Or both.
He nods, smiling and takes a sip of the coffee. Not bad.
"You did not tell me what you were going to do in September".
She makes a face, putting her index inside her cup, wanting to know if it's still too hot.
"I am going to University in New Orleans".
"Your major?"
"Literature and Law".
"Double license with Law? What a brave girl!"
She lowers her face, playing with the pancake.
"I know, my Dad thinks I won't succeed, says it's too difficult. I think he is right, I don't know why I choose that".
She shrugs but he can see it's bothering her.
"Caroline, that's not what I meant, at all. I am sure you'll succeed; I am just too lazy to imagine working as much as you will. That is all".
"Oh", she says.
They fall in silence and it's a little awkward. They eat and drink and his eyes are drawn to her neck. It's the only thing he can see because she always wears her hair down so her neck is never exposed but he can see all of her neck now and it is the most graceful thing ever. He sees the curbs and colors the light puts on her skin. He tries to carve it in his brain, it is going to be paint on a canvas soon.
"Have you been painting recently?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
She puts her index on his cheek, a soft smile on her face.
"Oh", he says, "Do you have a mirror or something?"
"Keep it, show your skills".
He grabs her hand which was on his cheek and kisses the inside on her wrist, her pulse on his lips. He releases her hand as she blushes and hurries up to do the dishes, grabbing her cup. She is at the sink, washing the dishes as he walks behind her, putting the cup in the sink, his hand grabbing hers, his lips brushing against her hair, her fingers grabs his. She lets the sponge fall as his hand goes on her hipbone, her body falls back on his and they close their eyes. It feels peaceful. She slowly turns, her eyes on his and soon her tongue licks his lips. She puts her arms around his neck as he puts her near the sink, on the counter, her legs clenching on his hips. She kisses him like it's going to be the last time because she doesn't know what they are doing, what all of this is. He lets his forehead fall on hers, closes his eyes and takes deep breaths.
"What are doing today?"
She shrugs, putting her tank top's strap on her shoulder.
"My Mom was supposed to spend the day with me, but as you can see, I'm alone, so nothing. And you?"
She may call Elena and Bonnie, see if someone would hang out. He stars kissing her neck lightly as she draws circles on his back.
"Don't know, was supposed to hang out with Stefan".
"That's great", she breathes, as he licks her collarbone, "I'll call Elena or Bonnie if I'm bored".
He hums against her flesh, against her neck, she kisses his curls, her hands sneaking under his shirt. She tugs at the hem of his shirt, he steps back a little and takes it off, kissing her mouth, invading her mouth. She takes off her tank top, bringing their naked bust together. He makes her feel so wild, so free.
"Come on, I have something to show you".
She lets her head fall onto the pillow, burying her face in it. He nudges her shoulder.
"I won't stop bothering you", he teases, kissing the back of her neck.
She mumbles in the pillow so he can't hear a word.
"Caroline", he whispers near her hear, increasing the "i" of her name.
She huffs and turns her head, staring into his green eyes.
"Fine", she says, rolling on the other side of the bed, "I thought you had plans with Stefan".
She narrows her eyes, in front of her closer. She puts on her underwear, taking a pretty dress.
"I'm texting him", he says, still in bed.
"So, is that good?"
She turns around and rolls her eyes when she sees him still in bed.
"You're perfect", he says.
"Get up, lazy ass".
He smiles and gets up, putting his jean on, grabbing his shirt from the floor. He kisses her nose and goes out of the room, putting his shirt on. She huffs but smiles nevertheless, walking after him, her hair carried by her joy.
She stands in the car, opens her arms and closes her eyes.
"I am the Queen of the world", she screams.
She stays like this a few seconds before bending down and kissing him. God, he makes her feel so good. They're going to buy ice cream but he wanted to drive on the highway at high speed, to show her that even if the steering wheel isn't at the right place, he knows how to drive. This past week had been so awesome, she can't believe her luck. She looks at him, with his sunglasses, a hand on the wheel, one hand outside the car, he seems so free. She envies him, she would love to be so free. With him, she doesn't have to be perfect, little girly Caroline. She can be neurotic and full of insecurities and he just kisses it away. His smile is like a cure on her and this holiday will be filled with it, with him and so much happiness. He's her friend, he makes her happy and it's enough, it's just for the summer and it's perfect.
They finally get to Mystic Falls, he parks and they go inside the restaurant, walking next to each other.
"I swear, this movie is epic, I can't believe you never saw it".
"It's just guys with blood on them. I'm not interested".
She stops walking when she realizes he's no longer walking besides her. She turns around and he is standing on the pavement, looking at her, with a shocked expression on his face.
"What? Tell me you didn't just say that. It's so much more than that".
She rolls her eyes.
"Can we discuss that, sitting and with an ice cream.
"I imagine we can do that", he concedes.
"And stop giving me this dirty look".
He smiles, his woolfy smile all dimples and teeth, it's one of her favorites and he kisses her cheek, putting his arm around her shoulders, bringing her against him.
"Dirty looks, hum?" he says in her ear.
She smiles, big, making contact with his eyes.
"You're so naughty, I like that".
He laughs and kisses her head before they sit.
"I want vanilla and caramel with Chantilly", she says to the waiter.
"I would like three balls of mint, please".
Later, when she goes again here with Elena and Bonnie, she asks for vanilla and mint and it's like tasting their kiss.
"Hello Caroline", she turns and smiles.
"Hi Klaus. Having fun?"
They're at a party in the Gilbert house because their parents are gone and Katherine couldn't let the chance to party pass. They're currently in the kitchen, all this drunk people she doesn't know make her dizzy and everybody is outside because it's so hot right now.
"Yes, I would like to kiss you though".
"Not going to happen buddy".
"I know", he smiles, "I love a challenge".
She smiles back, holding her glass of Champagne.
"Is this Champagne?"
"I wasn't going to drink beer".
He smiles at her antics, shaking his head.
"Give me a glass".
She raises her eyebrows, biting her lip. She grabs a glass and fills it with Champagne.
"Wait", she says just when he was about to drink.
She puts her index in his glass as he raises one eyebrow. She puts her index behind each of his ears.
"For luck, boy", she whispers.
He wants to devour her, right there. The mischievous glint in her eyes, her infectious smile, the Champagne he could taste on her breath when she came so close to him. He wants all of her.
"Go home", she whispers, seeing her father stagger on the porch, trying to reach the door.
"I want to help you", he pleads to the wind because she is already at her father's side.
"Daddy? Daddy, it's me, it's Caroline".
Her father glances at her but she can see that he doesn't recognize her, that he doesn't know who she is. That the fact that she is his little girl doesn't reach his brain, doesn't have any kind of importance. She's nothing to him.
"I'm going to help you to get to bed. Mom is at work".
She lets her vest fall on the ground and slips her arm under his. She grabs his keys, opens the door but Daddy stumbles on his feet and his weight falls on her but Klaus lifts him a little and she hates him so much for being here. She hates him so much when she crosses his gaze and when he smiles at her. They lay him down on the couch and he is already asleep. She grabs the cover, puts it on him and kisses his cheek. Where are you, Daddy?
She tightens her jaw, the tears ready to fall and goes to the door. They're outside on the porch, she closes the door and stares at him with an icy glare.
"Caroline, I'm sorry, I know what you said but, maybe, it will be for the best if-"
"Do you know how it feels to look at your father, to see the man he has become and just want to cry? To feel this ball of sadness in all your body because you love him so much but you can't do a thing because he is just a stranger now, just a fucking stranger! Do you know how it tears me apart? How much it destroys me just to see him, just to hear him? You do not know a thing about me, you're just like the others, you see what I want you to. You don't know what I'm going through, how much he breaks my heart every time. I don't need someone to like or to love, love hurts, it's all it does", she whispers, "I don't need your help and I don't need you".
She grabs her vest and goes inside the house, tears streaming all over her face. She never told that to anybody. She goes to sleep, closes her eyes, tears on her face, she lost him, he was here, she could have reached out and grab him but she lost him. She's alone in her bed crying because her pride won't allow her to accept him knowing how fucked up she is. She has tried, she has tried very hard to cover the fuck up with pink nail polish, with bright smiles, with blond curls, with pretty dress, with glitter, with laughs but it's still here, the fuck up is more herself than all her appearance, than all people know about her. Nobody knows her because she has lost herself between the act and the truth and somehow, she doesn't know anything anymore. Say hello to little ignorant lost Caroline Forbes.
When she wakes up the next morning, she already regrets the way she talked to him, the things she said. She doesn't know what made her say all this things to him, she never told it to anyone, not to Elena, not to Bonnie, not to her Mom, not to the psychologist her Mum made her see, no one. She doesn't even know him but here she is, throwing all her secrets to this guy. Yes, of course, she has had a crush on him since she was fourteen and yes, she slept with him and, of course, they can talk without it being weird but, she still doesn't know him. He still is a stranger, sure, she knows things about him because she has investigated but he'll go at the end of the summer, as always. Maybe that's why she talked to him and got closer because he'll be gone in less than two months and she won't have to suffer his pitiful stare. She rolls over her bed and gets up, she will apologize. Or try to. He doesn't deserve to be treated that way, it's not his fault if she's fucked up.
She hasn't apologized, not yet anyway. She wanted to go to his house but, well, she didn't know if he would be here or if she would be welcomed and with all the gossip about how his mother's husband hates him, she preferred to wait. So here she is, currently waiting in Elena's living room, watching her friend switch channel over and over again. Her foot is trembling against the carpet and Elena's hand is on her knee, stopping it.
"Okay, what is wrong with you?"
"Me? Nothing, all is fine, really".
Elena sits up, seeing her big smile.
"You're doing the big smile thing, what happened?"
"I just need to talk to Klaus", she sighs.
"Well call him or text him", Elena shrugs.
"I don't think he would come if I asked".
Elena huffs and shrugs, again.
"Text him I said. Who is in a healthy relationship between both of us? Me. So do as I say".
Caroline wants to explain to her what happened. She didn't even tell anyone what happened between her and Klaus but somehow, Elena has guessed. And she's glad she doesn't have to explain all this mess she created.
"Fine, no need to strut. What do I send?"
"Just tell him, I don't know, things", Elena concludes with a shrug.
Caroline laughs, shaking her head, her eyes wide.
"Thank you for the help, Gilbert", she says, nudging her friend with her shoulder.
"Don't you worry, Blondie, I'm glad to help".
Caroline closes her eyes as Elena turns, annoyance on her face.
"She meant me, Katherine, go bother someone else".
"So you're telling me she can make Nik all miserable, pouting like a child but I can't bother her. Please, Elena, let the big girls have their fun", the older Gilbert smirks.
"I'm not little anymore".
"Sure, tell that to someone who cares. Now, Caroline, what the fuck did you do to my friend?"
"Not your business, Katherine".
Katherine is starting to get annoyed with these two, sure she didn't want to find them here but good luck to make Elena go out except for a party or if Matt is asking. Sure, they were going to be here. She goes between them and the TV and looks at their annoyed face.
"You better fix Nik, Caroline because I can make your life a living hell all the year".
"Yeah, Kat, we know how much free time you have since nobody likes you", Elena adds.
Caroline and her glance at each other, giggling as Katherine rolls her eyes.
"I texted Nik when I entered the room, telling him to come here. No need to thank me, Blondie", Katherine smirks before climbing up the stairs.
"Freaking bitch", Caroline swears.
"No, no, no, it's perfect! You don't even have to text him now! Okay, what am I doing now? Do you think I should stay? Or wait for him to come?"
"Elena, breath, I'm supposed to be the one freaking out".
"Right", says Elena, calming herself, standing still, looking Caroline in the eyes.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I'm waiting for you to freak out".
Caroline bursts into laughs, letting her head fall back. They're laughing like crazy on the couch, tears on the cheeks.
"I was trying to be a good friend, Care, don't laugh at me", Elena says between two hiccups.
"Oh my God, Lena, you're making me die over here".
They hear the door close and they grow still, their laughter dying. Caroline elbows Elena in the ribs, with her eyes wide and a movement of the head, asking her to look if it's Klaus.
"Hi Klaus, you're dandy over here?"
Caroline facepalmes herself, shaking her head at Elena's social skills. This girl can't handle the lesser anxiety.
"Hum.. Yes", Klaus says.
"Elena, why don't you go search in your room?"
"Search f- Oh, right. Have fun", she says, climbing the stars.
Good Lord, Elena is the most awkward girl ever. Caroline gets up from the couch and turns, facing Klaus.
"Hi", she says, not even looking in his eyes.
"Hello, Caroline".
She lowers her head, she was ready to hear anger, to hear hostility but not this hurt. She has screwed up, big time.
"I wanted to say, that I'm- I'm…"
She can't even finish, she can't say it, her pride won't allow it, her pride is all she has and it's breaking her, making her lose him but she can't fight.
"I'm sorry".
She raises her head, meeting his greenish eyes, not believing what she just heard.
"No, you don't have to apologize for anything, you didn't do anything wrong, I'm just, I was so angry, it…"
She stops, the words won't come out, she doesn't even know what she wants to say.
"You wanted me to leave, I should have, I had no right to stay if you wanted me gone. I won't bother you again, I'm sorry".
She feels the tears in her eyes and she bites the inside of her cheeks.
"We only have the summer", she says, trying to smile.
She comes closer to him, her hand on his cheek.
"Let me have it", she pleads.
He looks into her eyes and sees her tears, he knows what she is saying, they're not going to have a relationship over the sea, it's finished at the end of the summer.
"No tears, no screams, no strings attached?"
"I like you, we can attach, just not too much", she answers.
He smiles, taking her face in his hands and he kisses her.
"Well, look who has been a bad guy over here".
Of course it's Damon, king of cockblocking.
"Hello, Damon. Goodbye Damon", Caroline says, linking her lips to Klaus' again.
"Well, I can see when I'm wanted. Don't let me spoil your fun, guys, I'm just going upstairs. I mean, I can stay if-"
"Just go already", she finally screams at him.
He smirks, raises his hand and climbs the stairs.
"Oh and Caroline?" He says once at the top of the stairs. "Don't give him the clap".
She tightens her eyes as he laughs and disappears.
"What a fucking-"
Klaus is already kissing her again.
"Come with us tonight?"
She nods and kisses him. God, she's so happy.
"Hi", he smiles as she opens the door.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were leaving today", she reminds him, her brows furrowing.
"Disappointed?"
He's still smiling, he has gotten used to her harshness, to her boldness. He has grown to like it quite a lot.
"Of course not, I was just not expecting you", she shrugs.
He enters the room and she closes the door, they're face to face. He smiles a little, seeing her outfit, reminding him of the first time he entered this house.
"I'm leaving right now, in fact. Kol is waiting for me in the car, outside your house".
She glances at the window, next to the door, seeing Kol fighting with the radio, she chuckles.
"Oh, you didn't have to drive by. We agreed to not say good bye".
She is looking at him, like a mother scolding her child for being rude to someone she doesn't like, with sympathy, with joy.
"I couldn't leave without saying you good bye, Caroline".
She looks into his eyes and all she sees is this summer scrolling, his laugh, his smiles, his kiss, his touch, his voice, his dimples, his love for history, his art, all she sees is him, all that this summer has been made of. And she knows she would have been a little angry with him for leaving without saying good bye. She thought that if there was no good bye, there would be no hurt, no tears, no harm.
He takes her face in his hands, scanning her, his thumbs caressing her cheeks, trying to memorize the texture of her skin.
"I won't wait for you", she breaths.
She wants to set him free, to let him know that the pathetic little cheerleader won't be the one in his way. She sets him free because Klaus is not an animal you can put in cage, he's a free spirit. She sets him free because the guilt of wasting someone so special would be unbearable.
"Neither will I".
They stay silent, she lowers her eyes. He really, really wants her to want him. He knows she wants him, he knows she likes him, bloody hell, everybody knows she has a crush on him for years. He wants her to say it but he knows she won't because she doesn't know how. Her father doesn't recognize her half the time and the other half, he's just a mess, trying to fix what he has broken. He needs a sign, anything, to keep hope that next summer, she'll be his again.
"You swear?" he asks
"Never", she answers, kissing him.
When he leaves, trying to escape her kisses without the will to, her smile is bright and there are a few tears on her cheek. He takes that as a sign, as a silent I'll wait for you. Because with her, words mean nothing, her actions are her way to communicate and Caroline Forbes isn't weak.
.
Come and take a walk on the wild side
Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain
You like your girls insane
Choose your last words,
This is the last time
Cause you and I
We were born to die
.
Lana Del Rey, Born to die
Hi ! I really want to thank my new Beta to loved is to be destroyed who truly work faster than light !
- Phèdre, Racine
- Médée, Corneille
- Illiade, Homère
Tell me if I forgot to mention an oeuvre and leave reviews !