.
The reason I hold on
ause I need this hole gone
Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving
Cause when you never see the lights it's hard to know which one of us is caving
.
It's hard, loving someone like Klaus. It's a nightmare, full of lies and hurt and tears but she can't help it. She looks in his eyes and she falls again, harder, deeper. It's her birthday, It's Caroline Forbes' birthday and she's the saddest girl ever. He isn't there, he isn't coming and she's just sitting alone in a room full of happy teenagers but she could be alone, it's all the same without him. Elena is there, her fingers laced with hers but her hand is cold and she doesn't want to party anymore.
Where are you, Klaus ?
But she gets up and smiles and says everything is okay. She drinks and laughs and dances. She blows her candles, smiles for the pictures and is pleased with the presents she receives. And for everybody, Caroline Forbes is the happiest girl on Earth.
"Hi."
She lowers her eyes, opening wider the door as he enters the home.
"What do you want ?" she asks softly, too tired to scream, to argue, to fight.
He passes his hand in his hair, looking at her, the little hair out of her ponytail, her sleepy eyes, her pajamas so short she's rubbing her arms, probably cold. He closes the door, "Happy birthday, Caroline," he whispers.
She wants to cry because she has been waiting for those three words all day and now that he has said them, she's just disappointed.
"I waited for you all day, Klaus," she began, her eyes watering, "Like everyday. I'm waiting for a sign, a word for you and you're just-, "she took a deep breath, wetting her lips, "you're just never here when I need you," she admitted, defeated, lowering her head.
It's hard for her, to admit that she was wrong about him, that when she was defending him, she was wrong. He's never here when she needs him, he's never here when he should be. And she thinks maybe she's asking too much from him but now.. A message for her birthday doesn't seem like the hardest thing to ask.
"I'm here now," he whispers, looking at her with his blue puppy eyes.
She bit in her lower lip, glancing at him from under her eyelashes. She knows, she knows she's being dumb, she fucking knows it but. But it's Klaus.
She smiles a little, "You want to stay tonight ?" she asks.
And she smiles happily when he nods. He takes her hand and her eyes widen when she feels a cold metal in her hand. She lets his fingers go and finds a beautiful shiny bracelet in hand.
"Klaus," she smiles in a breath, looking up at him, "you shouldn't."
He smiles sadly, his fingertips caressing the skin of her cheeks, "you deserve more than putting up with me."
She shakes her head slightly, handing him the bracelet and her wrist, "put it on ?" she smiles, tilting her head. He nods, a little smile stretching his lips.
"Here, my Queen," he smiles, kissing her cheek as her fingers lace with his. She pulls him toward her room and closes the door behind him.
"I'm happy you're here," she whispers, "I thought you had forgotten," she adds, looking down.
He sits on the bed, feeling ashamed, "I didn't. I just- I-," he sighs his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hanging his head down.
She sighs too, coming to him, straddling his hips and hugging his body close to hers. "It's okay, Klaus, it's okay," and he hugs her and then fall on her bed.
"I love you," she whispers as he makes love to her, "I love you."
She wakes up to cold sheets, the ghost of a kiss on her forehead. She sits up, her fists wiping away the sleep in her eyes. She feels the cold metal slides on her arm and she smiles. He really was here. Not her imagination or anything. She lays in bed, a little.
"Caroline ! Wake up," called her Mum from the kitchen.
She huffs but sits on the side of the bed and smiles when she sees a little card. Happy birthday, Caroline. Klaus. And she can cry right now, she can burst in tears because this is her Klaus who thinks about her when she's forgetting herself. Because Klaus isn't here for her. Not when she needs him. But he's here for her when she thinks she doesn't need no one.
She goes to school, smiling, yellow all over her hair and body because she's Caroline and she's bright like the sunshine. It's Klaus who told her she was.
"Hi Elena," she smiles, kissing her friend's cheek, smiling.
"What's up with the happy mood ?" she asks before sighing. "He came, right ?" she pouts, crossing her arms on her chest.
"Yeah," smiles Caroline tentatively.
"Caroline, I love you really but Klaus is a prick, you could do so much better," she says, putting her hand on Caroline's arm, her oh-my-poor-girl face on.
Caroline smiles still, holding its foundations at least, "I know, Elena, you've told me already," she keeps the tears at bay until Elena is out of sight, gone for classes. She wipes away the tear rolling on her cheek, wishing that someone could at least be happy for her and Klaus.
Wishing it could be her best friend.
She takes a deep breath, raises her head and now, it's just smiling faces. She can't help but loving Klaus. Loving his blue eyes, the dimples on his cheeks, the softness of his voice, the roughness of his hands, the stories he tells her, the lies he gives her, the happiness he showers her with, the sadness stuck to her bones. She takes it all.
"I know, Klaus, I do, I just," she sighs, looking down, her eyes burning with tears, "I just wanted to see you," she breathes, admits like a sin. "I'm sorry, yes, I love you," she says as he hangs up.
She snorts, bites in her lower lip. She watches herself in the mirror, she paints her face, red on her lips, pink on her cheek, blue on her eyelids. She paints herself, draws a smile on her face, gives a light to her blue eyes, adds some life to her pale skin. She curls her hair, pretty curls, blonde hair. It goes well with her happy painted face, she thinks, putting her dress on. She looks at herself in the mirror and thinks, no, there's something wrong. And she looks. And looks. And looks. She examines everything but she can't find it. What's wrong ? she thinks.
But the list of all which is wrong would be too long and she doesn't have the time. She put her heels on, takes her bag and gets out with her smile on. How happy she is, Caroline Forbes, how happy.
.
Not really sure how to feel about it
Something in the way you move
Makes me feel like I can't live without you
It takes me all the way
I want you to stay
.
Rihanna, Stay