Hi people! Chapter 17, FINALLY! Sorry about the REALLY loooong wait! Flying monkeys for all of you! :)
Now, ON WITH THE SNOW! (Sorry, Global warming on the brain...) I MEAN SHOW!
Elphaba: *is trying to find a spell in the Grimmerie to de-scarecrow-ify Steven Schwartz*
Glinda: *is teaching her standby how to toss her hair*
Fiyero: *is doing stuff Fiyeros do*
Director: *still has wings, but has taken her rightful place back in her director's chair*
Boq: *is off somewhere hiding from Nessa*
Nessa: *is being her usual clingy, stalker-ish self*
Nurse: *is being carted away to the hospital's mental ward*
Wizard: *is lost somewhere*
Director: *pulls out her megaphone* ALRIGHTY PEOPLE! LET'S GET THIS SCENE STARTED!
Elphaba's Girl: *raises her hand* Um, where's the Wizard?
Director: *looks around* ELPHABA! WHERE'S THE WIZARD?
Elphaba: HOW THE HECK SHOULD I KNOW? ASK MORRIBLE!
Morrible: *looks confused* WHAT?! I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH!
Director: Oookaaay...*pulls out a copy of the Grimmerie* HEY! ONE OF YOU STANDBYS GET UP HERE!
Standbys: *fight and claw each other to get offstage*
TheWickedRae: *makes it out of the catfight first* I AM WILLING TO DO IT WHATEVER IT IS!
Director: *chucks the Grimmerie at her* Go find the Wizard.
TheWickedRae: *is excited* YAAAAAAY! OKAY! *says a random spell and disappears in a puff of smoke*
Elphaba: HEY, NO FAIR! WHAT SPELL IS THAT?! I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A SPELL LIKE THAT IN THERE! NOT FAIR!
Director: *chucks a soda can at Elphaba* NO! BAD ELPHABA!
Elphaba: *throws the soda can back at her and hits her in the head*
Director: *swears words not suitable for F F .net*
Elphaba: Aw, COME ON! DRAMATIC MUCH? I DIDN'T THROW IT THAT HARD!
Director: *sticks her tongue out at Elphaba* ALRIGHT! CUE THE SCENE! ANYBODY WHO'S NOT IN THIS SCENE GET OFF THE STAGE BEFORE I THROW A PEPSI AT YOUR HEAD!
*Boq, Morrible, Nessa, Throppsister and Fiyero run offstage very VERY scared*
Director: HEY YOU! *chucks a soda at NellytheActress* WHY ARE YOU STILL ONSTAGE?
NellytheActress: *is slightly scared* I figured I could stay onstage since TheWickedRae left to go find the Wizard...
Director: *chucks a Pepsi at the other Elphaba standbys* ONE OF YOU GET OFF THE STAGE!
Elphaba standbys: *look at each other*
Wickedly Hope Pancake: I'm not getting off the stage!
Elphaba's Girl: Don't look at me!
Throppsister: *looks around* I'm not even an Elphaba standby! I'm the standby for Nessa!
Director: *looks ready to throw a whole box of soda at the standbys* WELL...ONE OF YOU HAD BETTER GET OFF THIS STAGE BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO ALL OF YOU!
Doglover645: *runs onstage* WAIT! I WANNA STANDBY FOR NESSA!
Director: OH FOR THE LOVE OF OZ!
Nessa: *acts all Galinda-like* YAAAY! I GET ANOTHER STANDBY! YEEEEEE! *hugs Doglover645*
NellytheActress: *whispers to Elphaba's Girl* What's wrong with Nessa?
Elphaba's Girl: *looks over at Elphaba, who is still hugging her new standby* I'm guessing heatstroke. We've been onstage for more than three hours.
*Nessa is now doing Gangnam style*
Elphaba's Girl: *nods* Yup. Definitely Heatstroke.
NellytheActress: Oh.
TheWickedRae: *runs onstage dragging a huge sack* HEY PEOPLE GUESS WHAT I'M BACK!
Nessa: HEY GUESS WHAT! WE GOT A NEW STANDBY! *falls over from heatstroke*
Director: *facepalms*
TheWickedRae: NESSA! *ignores her and pushes the giant sack over to center stage* HEY! GUESS WHAT I FOUND IN THE TUNNELS UNDER THE STAGE!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: OOH! OOH! RUMPELSTILTSKIN!
NellytheActress: *slaps her*
TheWickedRae: NO! ANY OTHER GUESSES?
Doglover645: Umm...a million dollars?
TheWickedRae: NO! *the sack starts moving so she kicks it* You people are TERRIBLE at guessing!*pulls a very confused Wizard out of the sack* IT'S THE WIZARD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Everybody: Ohhhhhh...
Director: *facepalms*
Doglover645: *looks slightly disturbed* Umm...why is he tied up?
Wizard: *has a gag over his mouth* MMmmmPHFFffm!
TheWickedRae: So he wouldn't try to run away of course!
NellytheActress: Oookaaay... *backs away slowly*
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *stares at the Wizard* I think he's trying to eat the gag on his mouth...
*others turn to stare at the Wizard*
TheWickedRae: *throws a Pepsi at the Wizard*
Wizard: *spazzes out* Mmmmphfffff!
Director: *flies onstage* OKAY! TORTURE TIME IS OVER! *waves Glinda's wand over the Wizard* ALL BETTER!
Wizard: *is magically untied* YOU PEOPLE ARE NUTS! NUTS I TELL YOU! *tries to run away but trips and falls over Nessa*
Nessa: *wakes up* Um...OW!
Elphaba: *is watching them all and smiling* Soooo...Is the Wizard gonna sing now?
Wizard: NO! I AM NOT GOING TO SING FOR YOU CRAZY PEOPLE! YOU PEOPLE BELONG IN THE LOONY BIN!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: Uh, actually...the Nurse already got sent to the mental ward.
Wizard: *has nothing to say to that*
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *smiles*
Wizard: *looks around* Okay, how about this: I sing, and then I get to leave and never come back!
Director: Um...actually, the script says-
Elphaba: *interrupts her* DEAL!
Wizard: AMAN'SCALLEDATRAITORORLIBERATORARICHMAN'SATHEIFORPHILANTHROPISTISONEACRUSADERORRUTHLESSINVADERIT'SALLINWHICHLABELISABLETOPERSISTTHEREAREPRECIOUSFEWATEASEWITHMORALAMBIGUITIESSOWEACTASIFTHEYDON'TEXIST! *takes a breath*
WONDERFUL!
THEY CALL ME WONDERFUL!
IN FACT IT'S SO MUCH WHO I AM IT'S PART OF MY NAME!
AND WITH MY HELP YOU CAN BE THE SAME!
Elphaba: Okay Wizard! You're done! *shoves him offstage* Okay! Next scene!
Doglover645: *wheels herself onstage in Nessa's chair* YAAAY! I WANNA SING!
Director: *flips through the script* We already did the Governor's mansion scene...
Throppsister: *chucks a Pepsi at the Director* We're gonna sing anyway!
Doglover645: WE?
Throppsister: Yes, We. *looks all dark and scary* You got a problem with that?!
Doglover645: *looks very scared* Noooo...
Elphaba: *looks over at Nessa* I see you've been teaching your standby the ways of the Nessa.
Nessa: *looks all proud* Yes, yes I have! *pauses* Wait...was that sarcasm?
Elphaba: *laughs*
Throppsister&Doglover645:
ALL OF MY LIFE I'VE DEPENDED ON YOU HOW DO YOU THINK THAT FEELS?
ALL OF MY LIFE I'VE DEPENDED ON YOU AND THIS HIDEOUS CHAIR WITH WHEELS!
SCROUNGING FOR SCRAPS OF PITY TO PICK UP
AND LONGING TO KICK UP MY HEELS!
Nessa: *is watching her standbys* Awww! They're SOOO CUTE!
Director: BOQ! GET YOUR BUT OUT HERE!
Boq: *is backstage* NO!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: DON'T WORRY! I GOT THIS! *grabs a Pepsi and chucks it behind the stage*
Boq: OW! *falls onstage* I HATE YOU PEOPLE!
Director: BOQ! LET THE STANDBYS SHRINK YOUR HEART!
NellytheActress: OOH! OOH! I WANNA SHRINK ME A MUNCHKIN HEART!
Boq: *looks VERY scared* Why are all you people out to get me?
Throppsister: *pulls out the Grimmerie* A- tum Ah tum-
Boq: *chucks a Pepsi and knocks the book out of her hands* NO!
Throppsister: AW, COME ON!
Boq: HAHA! CAN'T CATCH ME NOW! AHAHAHHAHAHA! *runs offstage*
Doglover645: *gets up and runs after him* YOU GET BACK HERE MISTER! *jumps and tackles him*
Boq: *is very afraid* NOT THE FACE! NOT THE FACE!
Elphaba& her standbys: *are watching the whole thing*
Elphaba: HeY! Who wants to go to Red Robin?
Elphaba's girl: OOH OOH! ME!
Wickedly Hope Pancake: *giggles* RED ROBIN!
NellytheActress, Elphaba's Girl, TheWickedRae and Elphaba: YUMMMM!
Steven Schwartz: HELLO? SOMEBODY FORGET I'M STILL A SCARECROW?!