A/N: Sorry it's been a while and I hope to update more regularly. Anyway, the story.

Chapter 7

There was a knock on my door an hour later. I was face down on my bed, thinking about what life was going to be like and how everything had changed. I was pregnant and moving in with Paul and Jesse was pretending that he was actually going to go back to Latvia…or Lithuania. It was fun at first, before Jesse came back, because, when he came back, I had to start making decisions I didn't feel ready to make. That's why I put it off for so long.

I missed 'the good old days' when we were all happy together, particularly in senior year. Jesse and I were dating, Cee and Adam we dating and Paul couldn't shake off Kelly Prescott. We all worked together as mediators - a little like Scooby-Doo, actually and we just enjoyed our lives. Now Adam and Cee are more stressed about college work than they're letting on, I'm pregnant, Jesse's…complicated and –for once, I might add- Paul's perfect. It's a bit creepy, because I know he's hiding his problems from me, but it makes me wonder what else he's hiding.

So, when I heard the knock on my door that afternoon, I wasn't in the mood for talking and questions and sympathy.

"IDIOT."

"It's me," a voice said. It was unlike any of my friend's voices, but I knew who it was instantly, and that made me smile.

"Come in!" I turned over, so that I was lying on my back, against the pillows. For a moment, I wondered if my eyes looked puffy, but I didn't care because I knew Paul wouldn't either. He lay down on the bed next to me. It was a double bed, so there was plenty of room.

"If you'd told me when I was 16 that I would get to lie on Suze Simon's bed, I would never have believed you."

"Pfft, please. You were too cocky then." I shoved him a little.

"Well, if that's how you want to play it…" He pulled one of the pillows form behind him and hit me in the face with it.

There's only one way to react in this situation- I grabbed my pillows and hit him harder. We had a pillow fight, and when that wasn't getting anywhere, he started to tickle me, and I tickled him back. I found myself on top of him, but it didn't feel sexual – just like we were friends, as usual. He held me by my waist. Looking up to me, he said, "I love you, Suze." I thought nothing of this, as we were friends before and we used to say this to each other every once in a while. Because our relationship was new, I'd temporarily forgot we'd changed and it hadn't even occurred to me that it would mean something different now.

"I love you, too," I replied, with a little too much nonchalance.

"No, I mean that I love you more than a friend. I've been in love with you for a while and-"

"I know," I interrupted him. I'm sure I didn't really know until that moment, but after I said it, I was more certain. I got off him and went back to ling on the bed beside him. My hair was probably a mess. My clothes were dishevelled and uncomfortable, so I got up and adjusted them.

"You know?"

"I mean…I sort of had a feeling."

"I hoped I was giving of more than 'a feeling', but still…"

I smiled but said, "be serious, Paul. I know you're afraid of being hurt and that's why you hide your feelings…"

"'I'm not the only one who hides their feelings," he said, accusingly.

"Me? I don't have anything to hide!"

"Except the fact that you still love Him."

"Oh, are we back to 'Him' now? What are we, fourteen?!"

"He still hates me and I still hate him. Over you, Suze. You're the only person who doesn't realize."

"But-"

"No, don't deny it. You have to make a real decision, who you really want. I don't know about him, but I 'm not going to wait for you. Not to come second again."

"What makes you think that I love him?"

"It's the way you are with him. You've managed to convince yourself different, but it's true. I saw you crying when you ran from him earlier. I can read you like a book. I know you wish for the good days, like senior year, but it was hard on both Jesse and I."

I opened my mouth to protest, but maybe Paul was right. Maybe the reason I liked senior year was because I was with Jesse.

"He hated me for loving you then and he hates me for having you now. I hate him because I know that he will always have you. He could always just snap his fingers and you'd go running to him like a loyal dog. I'll be honest, while I'm at it, I hate you for it too."

I wanted to cry – the truth hurts, but hearing it like this just made me angry.

"Don't you see? I'm trying to fall I love with you. We're so close but…"

"But I'm not Jesse," he finished for me, "I told you, now stop lying to yourself."

He got up and walked away, before he could say another cliché. Paul's complicated too –not perfect. I just didn't read between the lines.

I could hear him walking around my room. He checked I avoided Jesse for his last two days. He didn't get the message, or rather he did – he just used his unborn child as an excuse. So it was really more like I hid from Jesse. I was cowering under my bed covers, hoping he'd mistake me for a pile of pillows when he walked in (reverse psychology – and they said it wasn't the major for me!) without knocking, as he often did nowadays. He even had the cheek to walk in on me in my underwear yesterday. He just said you're the mother of my child and shrugged his shoulders!the bathroom, then just sat on my window seat, like he used to, when he was a ghost.

"Susannah," he called. He put a little power in his voice and, as a more powerful shifter, I could feel it. It was trying to make me go to him – in fact, I almost revealed myself in my hiding space, but I thought better of it. I was going so well, or at least I thought it was until I heard Jesse say "she's knows I'm right here and she's resisting."

I heard footsteps going towards the door. Then the cover was ripped from over me and I saw Jesse grinning. "Shit," I said.

"Hey! No swearing in front of the baby, Querida," he warned.

"You're one to talk! You think I don't know what you're saying when you swear in Spanish, tonto."

"When did you learn that?"

"Paul taught me. And I picked some up off you. Put it this way- the swearwords were the first things I learned."

He smiled, but then he remembered himself and his face went stoic. "You seem to be spending a lot of time with Paul, Amada."

"Don't call me those things. I'm not anymore."

"Susannah-"

"Don't even call me that. Every time you say it, it sounds affectionate."

"I can't help it, Que-" he stopped himself, "I'm still in love with you."

"I don't need this. You shouldn't guilt-trip me before you go back."

"I'm not trying to do that. He, Paul, told me you still feel the same way."

"Paul needs to keep his mouth shut. I'm not in love with you. I'm in love with the person you were when you were the ghost that haunted my windowsill, or the boyfriend who wanted me 'barefoot and pregnant'. You've changed and I don't know if I like it."

"I haven't changed that much."

"Don't deny it," I smiled at using Paul's words, "you shouldn't lie to yourself anymore."

"Anymore clichés?" Jesse smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Only this one." I kissed his cheek and hugged him. I smelled him and it didn't smell like Jesse. It smelled like soap and his new cologne (A/N: MHC - has anyone read The Princess Diaries?). "I'm going to miss you Jesse."

A/N: I'm still really sorry about spelling and grammar. Is Jesse really going to go? Is Suze going to let him? How will it all go with Paul? Watch this space for my next instalment! Don't hold your breath, though. I've got a lot on. :-/

Love ya,

Iheartbooks.