I walked into the diner and took my usual spot with a wide grin plastered on my face. El spotted me from behind the counter and did a small wave before grabbing the pot of coffee and sauntering over to where I was seated.
She slid into my seat like always and poured me a mug of coffee.
"So, how'd it go?" El smiled and I didn't even have to use words to let her know what happened. "You can th-"
"Eleanor Jameson!"
We both looked up to see a rather large man with a bald heard, storming over to our booth.
"Y-yes, Mr. Barlow?" El stuttered. I was still trying to get over the fact that her full name was Eleanor. I always thought that her parents were just really, really lazy in signing the paperwork and went with a two letter name.
"I am sick and tired of you cutting out of work to talk with this young man! You do not associate yourself with customers!" Mr. Barlow yelled, causing everyone to turn and watch the drama happening in the corner of the diner.
"M-Mr. Barlow, please, I know Squid. He isn't just a customer." El tried and I couldn't help but let my lips twitch upwards at that statement. I had always considered us just acquaintances.
"So? I know plenty of our customers but I don't feel the need to sit with them! Young man, are you bothered by Eleanor's presence?"
"No, Mr. Sir- Barlow. Not at all, Mr. Barlow" I answered instantly.
"What is your relationship with her exactly?" Mr. Barlow snapped. I opened my mouth to answer but El beat me to it.
"He's my boyfriend. We've been together for nearly a year now." El lied and I had to force the convincing smile onto my face. She did get me a job and if lying to my boss every now and then would repay her.
"SO YOU'RE IGNORING CUSTOMERS TO SPEND TIME WITH SOME... MANWHORE?"
Okay, hold up. What the fuck did that dickweed just call me? Fuck no, this is when I use the things Camp Green Lake taught me.
"What did you just call me?" I snarled. My eyes darkened and I took a step forward. Now, I'm not bragging or anything, but digging holes every day did me some good. Through my Tee-shirt, you could see the muscles and I could easily rip this ass apart.
"Squid, stop." El pleaded. She grabbed my clenched fist and tried to pull me back. "It's not worth it."
"You know what, Eleanor?" Mr. Barlow yelled, "I'm getting pretty sick of your slacking off-"
"She's the only one working here!" I interrupted and Mr. Barlow shot me a hatred filled glare.
"I'm done with you, there are better waitresses out there. You're fired."
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I didn't mean to get her fired. El's face visibly paled and her hands dropped to her sides. "N-no, you can't!"
"And do tell me, Eleanor, why I can't?" Mr. Barlow was taunting her now.
"B-b-because I need this job and I-I-"
"That isn't a good enough reason."
"She's pregnant."
Everyone froze at once and slowly turned to me. Honestly, it just slipped out. I never meant in the slightest to say that but it's the first thing that came to mind. I mean, you can't fire a pregnant woman. That's just wrong.
"How far along are you?" Mr. Barlow asked, looking extremely shocked. "You don't look pregnant."
"Uh... Three months. No baby bump yet." El giggled nervously and rubbed her stomach for extra effect.
"I guess I can't fire you..." Cue collective sigh of relief, "but one more slip up and you're out of here the second that baby is born. Got it?"
"Y-y-yes Mr. Barlow."
The man walked away and people slowly went back to their regular duties. The two of us just stood there for a few minutes, with our jaws slack as the events replayed over and over in our minds. What the fuck just happened?
Suddenly, El turned and slapped me across the arm. Hard. "What the hell did you just do?" she hissed, quiet enough so no one else could hear us.
"Saved your ass!" I cried back, "I saw it on a movie once at Armpits place. It kind of just popped into my head and then out my mouth. Kind of like the baby your having..."
Another slap across the arm, "But I'm not actually knocked up, idiot! I can't just prance around pretending I'm pregnant!" El snapped and I smirked.
"Actually, you can. When the baby comes, we can just have a miscarriage. Then you'll get a few weeks off with payed vacation and then we go on with our lives like nothing happened."
"Except for the fact that I'm dating you." El pointed out and I lifted my hands up in defence.
"Hey, that one is totally on you."
"But now I have to be with you for nine months!"
"Six, actually. You're already three months pregnant, babe." I mocked, earning myself another slap. The only reason that I am actually taking the beatings is because I totally deserved them. Technically, I just knocked up the person who serves me coffee in the mornings.
"I don't want to do this, honey." El spat with distaste.
"Fine." I shrugged as I sat back down into my booth. "Go back to that 'handsome' man and tell him the truth. I'm not losing anything."
El stayed for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh, "I hate you."
"Love you too."