Konoha High
14 - Why Don't We Eat First?
Naruto Namikaze
New Message
From: Sakura
Can we talk?
Sakura… Talk?… Why? I could say that hundreds of things ran through my mind when I saw her message, and I wouldn't be exaggerating. It's just so… out of character- especially if she's sending that to me.
Maybe it isn't something that serious… but what if it is? Of course, I respond with:
Yeah, sure.
She'd think I was a jerk if I refused… but then again, I could've just lied and said I was busy. Why didn't I?
New Message
From: Sakura
Can you meet me at the library?
The library? Maybe she's studying there with TenTen and Ino and Hinata. Maybe she invited me there for Hinata. I tell her "okay" and turn on the lights in my room.
I slip on a pair of loose jeans and my orange hoodie, then I slip my phone, keys, and wallet into my pocket. I listen for any voices downstairs in case anyone's still awake- I don't hear anything.
I open the door and start heading downstairs. The lights are still on, but nobody's in the kitchen or living room. I exit the house and lock the door behind me. And now, to the library.
[…]
New Text Message
To: Sakura
Sakura? I'm waiting out front.
When I got here, the lights were already off. I came up to the door so that I could see the sign giving the library hours: 7 a.m. - 8 p.m. It's 9:40 and I'm sitting on the ground by the entrance.
I hear a shutting sound, then, "Naruto?"
Sakura looks down at me. "How long have you been waiting out here?"
"Just ten minutes, maybe. It was nothing."
"Oh…, well okay."
I check behind her, to see if there are other people coming outside, too, but nobody else follows her. "Why are you here?" I ask. "It's over an hour past closing time."
"Part-time job," Sakura holds up a set of keys. "Well, more like I volunteer to help out here." She starts locking the doors. "I was just studying and they said it was alright if I stayed and.. Yeah."
"Ino wasn't with you? Or TenTen or Hinata?"
"Well Hinata helps out sometimes, too, but she didn't come today."
"So…" I stand up, "What did you want to talk about?" I try to make it sound nonchalant and not too eager to know.
"I'll tell you in a bit." She reaches into her bag and unfolds a pink scarf, which she begins to loosely wrap around her neck. "But for now, you wanna grab something to eat real quick?"
"Um…" Before I say anything else, she turns to the right and starts walking ahead. "W-Wait, where are we going?"
"Oishii." Oishii is a diner a little less than half a mile from the karaoke place. It's open 24/7 and the meals are good and inexpensive. I'm not really hungry; I already had dinner with my mom and Jiraiya. But I don't mention that to Sakura. Instead, I start walking faster to catch up to her.
[…]
"Welcome to Oishii!" A waitress greets us when we enter the diner. There are only two other people here besides us. We end up sitting in a booth three booths away from theirs and I sit across from Sakura so that I'm facing one of them.
"Here you go," the waitress sets down two menus and two glasses of water. "Would you like something else to drink?"
"I'll take some coffee," Sakura tells her. "What about you, Naruto?"
"I'm actually fine with just water, thank you."
"I'll be back with your coffee in a bit. Just tell me if you need anything else." She smiles and gets back to the kitchen area.
I scan the menu for something light that I can eat and decide that I'll just get some fries. Sakura takes another minute looking at the menu before closing it. When she does, the waitress comes back with Sakura's coffee and sets it down next to her water.
"Are you ready to order?" She asks. When Sakura tells her that we are, she takes a notepad and pen out of her apron.
"I'll just have a hamburger- no, a cheeseburger actually, with no pickles or onions."
I wait for the waitress to finish scribbling that down before I give her my order. "And uh, can I just get some fries?"
"Is that all for you today?" We nod. "Alright, I'll have those out for you in a few minutes." She takes our menus and goes back behind the counter.
I take a sip from my glass of water. Sakura opens two packets of sugar and pours it into her coffee, then begins to stir it. As I'm putting my own glass down, I look over at the dude sitting three booths in front of us.
His hair is brown and he's wearing a blue zip-up jacket. I can't see his face that well because his friend's head is covering it. Then, his friend stands up.
"Going to work, huh.. I told you it wasn't a good idea to take the late shift. It isn't good for a student who needs to wake up early for school, Tamotsu."
"Well I'll be getting off of my part-time job at around… Well it's 10:15 now…, I'll see you back at the apartment at around 12:30. See ya." He leaves the booth. I hear a bell ring as the door swings open and he gestures good-bye with a slight wave. Before the door actually closes though, he suddenly trips and falls to the ground.
He recovers almost immediately. His face turns red as he re-opens the door and leaves.
With the Tamotsu guy gone, I can now clearly see who's left sitting in the booth.
"Isn't that…" I start to mention softly to Sakura, "Isn't he that Akira kid?"
"It's Akari," she corrects me. "And…" She turns around to take a glance at him. "Yes, it is."
Akari catches us staring, so I just grin and wave at him. He smiles back, but after that takes a sip of his water and stands up.
"My cousin's kinda a klutz, huh?…" He laughs awkwardly. Then Ping! The bell rings again, and he's gone.
Sakura Haruno
I had been studying at the library, but that isn't really the only reason I was there. I really wanted a quiet place to think about some things. At first, I was just shelving some books for the librarian and before I knew it, the library was empty and he was telling me it was time to close up. I asked if I could stay for just a bit longer and was given permission to stay as long as I needed to, given that I didn't steal or damage any property. (Why would I do either of those, anyway?)
So after shelving a good amount of books, I turned out most of the lights, thinking that I should go home. Then, as I was about to open the door so that I could leave, I decided not to. I figured I could get some studying done there.
I turned one light back on and set my bag down on a table. I took out a textbook, and started studying.
Part of me was concentrated on the studies, processing math equations and translating pieces of literature. But the other part of me was distracted, thinking about what'd happened earlier today.
Sasuke trudged out of the room looking upset, so I followed him. It was only natural to do that and ask what was wrong. Somebody had to…
He didn't stop in the hallway, though. He started going downstairs, but I kept following him. I bumped into Hinata on the way. She called out to me, but (even though this sounds mean) I ignored her so that I could keep up to Sasuke.
He ended up going outside, too, and onto the school's front yard. Nobody else was outside because classes had already started for most of the other students, but since Kakashi-sensei was unusually late, it didn't matter that we weren't inside the classroom.
Sasuke walked a little further out into the center of the yard before finally stopping, but he didn't turn around. I swallowed hard and spoke.
"Sasuke." He didn't say anything back, but I didn't really expect him too…yet. "Sasuke…, what happened?"
"…It's nothing."
"It's obviously something." I feel so guilty for trying to poke into something that might've been personal.
"It's nothing. This doesn't concern you, Sakura."
"You can't say 'nothing's wrong' with the way you stormed out of the room like that, Sasuke! Why can't you just tell me?!"
"Why should I tell you? It's not like you would understand, anyway. We're different; we aren't the same."
"Just because we aren't the same," I began, my voice was cracking and my eyes burned trying to suppress tears. "Doesn't mean I can't understand how you feel."
"What, are you crying now, over something like this? I'm gonna say it one more time: This doesn't concern you. Just leave me alone, Sakura."
After that, he walked past me and gave me a look that seemed to tell me "just stay out of it; you're only getting in the way". I allowed him some time to get a good distance ahead of me, then started walking back into the school building, too.
While climbing the stairs, I lost it. I knew that it wouldn't be the same between us anymore. For a while I just carelessly let them roll down my cheeks, then I realized what would happen if I just left them like that. So I started to wipe them away with my sleeve.
But when I got the hallway just outside of our classroom, Naruto was already standing there. He took a few steps towards me, then spoke. I didn't dare face him. If thought that if I did, I'd just lose it again.
"What did that bastard say to you?" Of course it hurt to hear that- who would wanna hear that the person they love is a bastard?
"Sakura-chan…?"
"Just leave me alone, Naruto." I would've appreciated it a bit more if he'd given me some time before trying to speak to me about what had happened. "You should worry about Hinata, not me."
At first I just said it so that he'd leave me alone, but then I was partly glad I said it because in a way; I needed to help him out there, too. With the way he was acting so defensive and angry towards Sasuke, people would have questioned his loyalty to Hinata, including Hinata herself. I didn't want to get her involved in my problems.
I shoved past him and went back into the classroom, where the class began and went on like it did any other day.
[…]
While I was at the library, I decided I needed to apologize and explain some things to Naruto. I figured I'd also get some help out of him, too; some advice. So I texted him a few minutes before I started to put all my textbooks away.
I was afraid that he wouldn't want to come; I was afraid that he would think I was angry or upset or just unapproachable because of the way I spoke at school. So I was relieved when he agreed to meet me.
I turned out the lights and started going downstairs, when I realized I left my bag at the table, so I just used my phone screen's light to guide me back to it. When I slung the bag over my shoulder, I got a text from Naruto saying that he was already outside.
I rushed back to the entrance, and when I got outside, he was sitting on the ground by the door. He asked why I was there past closing time, so I explained my whole "part-time job"/voluntary work for the library while locking the door. I pulled my scarf out of my bag as I was putting the keys back in and put it on.
Naruto asked if Hinata was with me, which made me think that he only came because he thought she was here. When I said she wasn't, I was glad he didn't show any signs of wanting to leave (well, not any obvious ones, at least).
I honestly didn't have a plan. I didn't know where to go, so I just asked if he wanted to go somewhere to eat. I was starving after being in the library for so long, so I ended up not letting him answer and started walking ahead to Oishii.
Now that we're here and Akari has left, I can speak freely. The waitress might hear, but it's not like I know her; I don't care if she hears.
"Naruto, I'm-"
"So here's your cheeseburger- no onions or pickles," the waitress sets it down in front of me, almost spilling my coffee in the process. "And your fries. Will that be all for now? Do you need a refill of water?"
"We're fine. Thanks," I dismiss her.
Naruto squirts some ketchup onto a tray. "So…" He dips a part of a fry into it and then puts the whole fry into his mouth. "Wha-" he swallows first. "What were you going to say?"
"Ah…," I take a bite out of my burger. "I-I'm studying like crazy for the exams!" What am I saying? "I didn't even think I would be at the library that late…"
"Huh… Well I guess everyone's kinda uneasy about it. Hinata was talking about how stressed she was about it the other day."
"And it doesn't really help that they've delayed it, either. I thought I was ready, but when Kakashi-sensei mentioned that we weren't going to take it until February, I suddenly felt really unprepared."
"That's weird. I was relieved when I found out about that. I figured a little more time to study wouldn't hurt."
"Oh, do you need help?" I offer. "You can ask me if you have questions about anything."
"Thanks but it's alright, Hinata's been helping out. We can all study together sometime though, and maybe even invite Sa-"
Thanks but it's alright. Hearing that felt kind of like a punch to the stomach. I really expected him to say, "Yeah, thanks!" or something like that, but he didn't… And I already know he was about to suggest inviting Sasuke. Ouch.
It got really quiet after that. I didn't even realize how quickly I was eating to avoid talking until the burger was gone. Naruto finished his fries, too, so I put some money on the table and stood up, once again just letting him follow behind.
We're walking again now. I feel bad because my house is closer than his is, and when I get there he'll have to walk alone in this cold. But I should tell him what I'd intended to tell him earlier now, before we reach my house.
"Naruto."
He faces me. "Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For being the way I was at school today."
"Sakura I really don't-"
"No really," I interrupted. "That was really… rude of me. I didn't mean to push you away like that, it's just that I wasn't exactly in the best mood when you tried to talk to me…"
"Sakura, it's okay. I know it was a little insensitive of me to ask like that. I should've been more considerate, so I should be apologizing. I'm sorry, okay? Don't put any more blame on yourself when you don't need to."
I never knew he could be so mature like this…
Naruto Namikaze
This whole evening, I'd been so distracted about having dinner with my dad that I'd almost forgotten about the whole Sasuke incident. Then Sakura started apologizing.
Yeah I was mad at Sasuke- hell, I always am. But today, I… I don't know. I'm trying to convince myself that he was being a bit more of a jerk than he usually is, and that that pissed me off, but I know that isn't it.
Again, yeah, I was mad at Sasuke, but being the idiot that I am, I went and did something reckless; I was just mad, and I got defensive of Sakura, so of course, the first thing that comes to mind is to try to make her feel better.
Looking back at it, that wasn't very smart. I'm sure people saw me leave the classroom. I don't know who exactly was watching, but I hope it didn't seem too obvious that I was pissed off about what happened. People would think I still have feelings for Sakura and Hinata would probably hate me. Though I honestly can't really imagine her hating anyone…
Now that I think about it… I kinda just left Hinata when I went to talk to Sakura. God, I messed up.
"Don't put more blame on yourself than you need to." Why is it that I find myself still comforting her?
I still feel kinda nervous while talking to her, I'm still trying to keep my posture right so that I look presentable, and I'm still averting my eyes whenever they meet hers for more than a second. It's hard to break old habits.
"Well… Thanks, Naruto," she hesitates for a second, then continues. "I didn't think I'd ever hear such mature things from you."
"Wow, thanks."
"I'm just teasing. But seriously, thanks. That helped. You know… I think I'm kind of jealous of Hinata." What? "I hope this is how you treat her because she deserves it."
"I think I'm kind of jealous of Hinata." That makes me mad- all these years I've had feelings for you and you say that now, now that I finally have a girlfriend and am trying to move on from you.
But strangely, it made me feel some kind of hope.
"Say, Naruto… Do you think I could ever be like that… with Sasuke?"
Ouch. Dammit, not Sasuke again. There goes that feeling of hope, which I now realize I shouldn't have had to begin with. The fact that I did makes me feel guilty again because I already have Hinata. Come on, Naruto. You already have Hinata. You already have Hinata. You already have Hinata… I hate how Sakura can still toy around with my emotions and not even realize it.
"I didn't think so, either. Ah… haha," she laughs sadly. "Well, I figure it's about time that I give up on him."
"N-No," I tell her. "I think you have a shot. I mean, despite everything I say about him and how we fight a lot, I really do think he might have… that side of himself that, well, he just doesn't like to show people or something, you know?" Even I don't believe what I'm saying, but I guess I'm just trying to comfort her yet again.
At the same time, I'm trying to convince myself that what I'm saying is true because I don't wanna be lying to Sakura. But still, I have to… "Push her away" isn't a good way to say it, but yeah, pretty much. I need to end this- whatever this is- between us. I can't let her make me feel guilty. I can't let her manipulate me. I can't let her mess with feelings. I can't let myself mindlessly giving into old habits. I can't let myself fall for her again.
"Sakura." Here I go.
"Yeah?"
"Don't give up. You're smart and pretty and nice and helpful," forgive me, Hinata, "And I'm sure that one day, Sasuke will realize it, too. I mean, I already know I'm a complete idiot, but he must be an even bigger one if he doesn't even realize how lucky he is that a girl like you likes him so much.
"I'll admit, even though you probably already know: I really liked you before and I still like you now, but, before you start to think that I'm trying to make a move on you, I've got Hinata now.
"She's been waiting for me for years, and as oblivious as I was to that, I finally realized it. I know I'm not the best guy out there, but I'm glad that she chose me. I learned a lot from her, and I guess you can get something out of that, too; just don't give up."
"Thanks, Naruto," Sakura gives me an honest smile. "Really, thank you."
"It's nothing really." We stop walking. "Well, I guess this is your stop."
"Yeah. I'll see you at school. Thanks again."
"'Night."
"Good night."
I start walking back to my own house, thinking about the conversation we just had. Why do I regret all of the things I just said? Why do I feel like I've just made things even worse?
Amaya Shimizu
Ten o'clock on a Friday night and I've got nothing to do. How fun. I should have stayed with Hinata and asked her if she wanted to go eat or watch a movie or whatever; it would've been a lot better than being here, where it's quiet and all I can't help but think about Akari. Hanging out with Hinata around the mall or movie theater might've helped me clear my mind a bit.
I turn on my laptop and continue watching a show I started yesterday.
"You know what, I'm tired of this… This is why we didn't last even a week. I knew you were a bad idea!"
"You think it's my fault? This all started because-"
I close the browser. I think I'll read some manga instead… I open another window.
The first panel has a girl on it, her hair swept to the side by wind and her face wet from tears. The panel beside it has a boy walking away, and though his expression seems solemn, a single tear runs down his own cheek.
"That day… was the last time I ever saw him."
Click. I close the browser again. WHY DOES EVERYTHING I HAVE BOOKMARKED HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?
Once again, I open a new window, and search "horror movies". I find one that looks interesting enough and click on the link to watch it.
[…]
I shouldn't have watched a horror movie. Now I can't sleep. I feel like if I close my eyes some creepy pale lady with long black hair is going to suddenly appear in front of me as soon as I open them again.
Amaya, don't be stupid. It was just a movie. I turn out the lights and slide into the blankets as I jump onto my bed. It doesn't take long for me to turn on the lamp again.
"What can I do now…" I mumble to myself.
Sasuke Uchiha
The next morning
"Whose glasses are those?" Itachi asks as he walks past me, glancing at the case in my hands.
"Just some girl's who left them in class," I answer.
"Which girl?"
"Shimizu."
"But she's in my class. How did they end up in your classroom?" I thought you were smarter than this, Itachi.
"The other Shimizu. Shimizu Amaya."
"Ah, okay. Were you about to go give them back?"
"Yeah," I lie. He actually just gave me the idea. I put on a blue jacket and open the door. "Ittekimasu."
"Itterashai."
[…]
Well, there's a 50% chance that Aiko will open the door and a 50% chance that Amaya will… Why do I think about the most ridiculous things when I'm walking by myself? And hell, why do I walk by myself so much?
I secretly hope that it will be Amaya who'll open the door so that I can give it to her directly. If it is her, I will, this time for sure, begin a conversation with her. Like a normal person would. Like a friend would.
Why her? I've been asking myself this for a while now, and I've come to the conclusion that it's her because she's relatively new to this village and I want her to know me as a person before the rumors get to her. Most other people don't see me like that; it feels more like I'm not even a human being because they can't interact with me normally.
That's why, despite how irritating he is, I like how Naruto so outwardly opposes me. Every once in a while I wonder what it'd be like if we weren't like that to each other… But like I said, he's irritating.
"Amaya!" I've just taken one step onto their yard and I can already hear Aiko. I guess she'll be the one opening the door…
Knock… Knock. I hesitate at the second knock. As I had predicted, Aiko opened the door.
"Oh, Sasuke, what a pleasant surprise!" She really doesn't look pleased at all.
I hold up the glasses. "Y-Yeah sorry I just wanted to-"
"Please, please. Come inside." She gestures for me to step through the door.
"…Alright."
I step into their house and awkwardly take off my shoes.
"So did you need something? Did Itachi send you over?" Aiko asks.
"Uh actually, I just came to return these to Amaya. She left them in the classroom the other day." I explain.
"I see. She's quite the forgetful klutz, isn't she? Sometimes she forgets that she still needs those crutches…" She continues talking, like a mother would about her child. Though I can see how she is like a mom to Amaya, with her parents' deaths and such.
"Anyways, she's right down here." Aiko begins walking past the kitchen and stops a little into the hallway. She motions for me to follow.
When I get to her, I begin to speak again. "I, um, actually just needed to-"
"Amaya," Aiko knocks on the door we're standing in front of. "Somebody's here to see you."
"H-Hey-"
"Who is it and what do they want?" Amaya asks, the annoyance in her voice prominent. Aiko opens the door but doesn't go in- she's holding it open for me.
"Wait-"
"The hell…" Amaya mutters. Her expression changes from tired and moody to tired and confused. "Why the hell is Sasuke here?"
I get a glance of Aiko giving her a stern look. Amaya sighs exasperatedly and stands up from her cross-legged sitting position in front of her T.V. She bends down to set a PlayStation controller on the floor for a second then starts making her way to the door.
"If you need anything, just ask," Aiko smiles and walks back, further into the hallway.
"So," Amaya leans on me, but only to get a good look at the hallway to make sure that Aiko can't hear. "What do you want?"
As I'm about to push her off, she pulls away before I can. She now stands directly in front of me, crossing her arms. Her face shows impatience.
"You left your glasses at school yesterday." I hand her the case.
"Why didn't you just give them to me then?" She asks.
"I couldn't find you," I lie. I wanted an excuse to come here, I answer in my head.
Amaya takes the case and opens it, removing the glasses from inside. She lifts up a bit of her t-shirt to wipe the lenses. Only now do I realize that this is what she looks like at home; her hair is down and she's wearing a plain, crumpled t-shirt with loose, striped pajama pants. And now she puts on her black, square-ish glasses.
"That's better." She says as she sits back down, a little further from the T.V.
"Not even going to thank me?"
"Thank you," she says sarcastically. Then looks up from the T.V. again to face me. "Really though, thanks." She adds, after a few seconds of silence. "And what are you supposed to say back?"
"You're welcome," I laugh a bit.
"That's a first," she says.
"What?"
"I've never heard you laugh before. I didn't even think you were capable of doing it."
"That's just stupid."
"Well you can't blame me." She looks at the T.V. again.
I stand awkwardly for a while. Should I leave now?… No… I'm supposed to start a conversation, aren't I?
"I didn't know you wore glasses." That's really all I could think of?
"Yeah… I usually forget to put them on. Or I just don't feel like putting them on, but I keep them in my bag anyway, just in case."
"Alright… So what game is that?" I point to the screen.
"FFXIV."
"F…F?"
"Final Fantasy. My God, you've never heard of the series?" She asks in disbelief.
"I don't really play video games."
"Gah… Again, I guess I can't say I'm surprised."
"Amaya!" Aiko knocks on the door. "I'm about to make brunch. Wanna help me?"
"No… No, no, no," Amaya whines, but not loud enough so that Aiko can hear it.
"What's wrong with that?" I ask quietly. "Are you just that lazy?"
"No it's just… She's going to try to talk to me about, uh…, personal things." She groans and says, this time so that it's audible to Aiko, "Alright I'm coming."
"Well hurry and come out already, you haven't left your room since yesterday evening." Amaya glares at the door.
"You've been on Final Fantasy all night? Is she serious?"
"Man, this sucks… And no… just since two in the morning."
"It's nine."
"So?"
"You've been on that thing for around seven hours."
"…So?"
"Amayaaaaa!" Aiko again.
"Okay, okay!" Amaya responds, sets the PlayStation controller next to the PS3, and drags her feet as she walks to the door.
"Finally," Aiko says as the door opens. Before Amaya can come out, I, without thinking, put my arm out to stop her.
"Need something, Sasuke? Did you want to stay for brunch?"
"A-Actually," I stutter- what am I trying to do here?- "I was about to take Amaya out for lunch."
Amaya Shimizu
"I was about to take Amaya out for lunch." Did he really just say that? Am I hearing things? Am I hallucinating?
"What…" I mumble, obviously lost. Sasuke gives me a look as if to say, "Just play along."
"Were you really? Amaya, you should have said something!"
"But-" I start to object, but Sasuke moves so that he's covering me and standing between us, interrupting me.
"I called her about it earlier. I was sure she'd told you… Sorry, maybe I should've asked you first..." What on earth is he saying?!
"Oh well no worries, it's alright. But," Aiko tilts her head so she can actually see me past Sasuke. "You aren't going like that, are you?"
"No wait-"
"It's alright, you can get ready. I'll wait outside," Sasuke tells me.
"Don't just stand there," Aiko says when he's out of earshot. "Get ready already, don't keep him waiting; that's just rude." She closes the door and I hear her footsteps go off, towards the kitchen.
"What the hell, Sasuke…" I complain to myself.
[…]
I leave my room wearing a loose, light-blue knitted sweater with gray skinny jeans and matching blue sneakers. I slip my phone and wallet into my pocket and head for the front door.
"Ittekimasu, I guess," I say as I step through the door.
"Itterashai!"
I lock the door and turn to face Sasuke. He doesn't say anything; just starts walking across our front yard.
"H-Hey, where are you going? Where are you taking me?"
"Didn't I say I'd take you out for lunch?"
"But why? We never discussed that," I begin to argue. "You never called me; you don't even have my number!"
"Calm down." We take a turn and walk past the café, the convenience store, the park… And we slow to a halt in front of Ichiraku, the ramen shop, where Sasuke finally speaks up.
"You can thank me later."
Author's Note:
Yes, that horror movie I was referring to was "The Grudge", and I'll tell you ahead of time that I don't own it so I don't have to put it in the disclaimer.
So hopefully you didn't have to wait too long for this one. I worked on it pretty frequently in the past few weeks and this is the result!
Any questions? Suggestions? OC ideas? Just p.m. me or send me an e-mail. (E-mail address in profile)
If you found any typos/spelling/grammar errors, please tell me and I'll fix it ASAP.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please be patient while I write the next one!
DISCLAIMERS: I do NOT own Naruto, Naruto: Shippuden, PlayStation, or Final Fantasy.
(I decided to add Final Fantasy and the PS3 because that's what I've been preoccupied with between writing this and school.)