Okay, if my lazy ass can update then so can yours! We need more holes writers!
School was as shitty as I remembered it. Annoying jocks walked down the halls like they owned the world while their groupies followed behind, trailing after like lost puppies. 'Socially unacceptable' people stood off to the side and gawked at the rulers of the school while the guys and I just laughed at everyone.
After spending months in the dessert, digging away you life, and living with a bunch of criminals, insane counsellors and dangerous lizards, you start to not care as much about where you stand on the social ladder.
I made my way to the cafeteria and took a seat at the table that my buds were at. They all brought their own lunches because I warned them how bad cafeteria food really was.
"You're in our spot, douches." a voice behind us roared and I glanced back to see these said jocks, sneering at us like we were a bunch of vermin.
"Get a new spot then." Magnet shrugged, not giving shit if that meant he got beat up or not.
One of the football players - the quarterback - grabbed Magnets shoulder and yanked him back roughly. Magnet fell backwards and landed on the linolium floor. Instantly, we all shot up with our fists clenched and ready for a fight.
"Now move, losers." The quarterback spat and the girls behind them giggled loudly. Everyone in the cafeteria seemed to be watching us but nobody would dare get in the way.
Armpit (who is the biggest dude, other than Caveman, that I have ever seen) took a step forward so he was towering over the jock with a snarl on his face. He cracked his knuckles and stared down at the idiot.
"You wanna repeat that?" Armpit smirked and stared down the guy.
The jock was either blind or ridiculously stupid because he did the worst possible thing anyone could have done. He spat in Armpits face.
All at once, the two groups just broke out into a huge fight. Armpit started pummeling that guys face in like there was no tomorrow, Zigzag kicked someone's legs out from under them and X-Ray and Magnet were fighting back to back. As for me, I didn't realize that I was in the centre of this big mess until I felt a blow to my face by some idiot.
I lifted my fingers to my nose to pull it back to find it was dripping blood. I slowly looked up to see the same jock staring smugly at his handy work. Idiot.
I tackled the douche to the ground, thrashing my arms and legs around to get as much damage done to him as possible. The jock looked shocked at first that I was actually this strong and it took him a moment to react, but by then, he had a nice bruise forming on his eye.
All too soon, the fight broke up. Teachers had got in the way and yanked me off the football player. They had done the same to everyone else.
Nearly everyone other than Caveman, who hadn't even laid a lunch the whole time, had a bloody nose and a purple mark forming somewhere on their body. For me, I could feel a throbbing pain in my shoulder that would no doubt bruise.
"All of you," the principal screamed, "get out! Don't come back until tomorrow and I better not see this happen again!"
He had that 'do not fuck with me' face so like the good people we are, we followed his orders. Actually, we all started to argue until X-Ray just told us to shut the fuck up and leave. I realized his motives after we were off school property.
"Dude, we get the rest of the day off! How sick is that!" X-Ray cheered and we all grinned. The rest of the day, eating from El's fridge and not giving a damn of what was going on at school. That sounded pretty good to me.
"I, for one, am going to that park across town where all the babes play frisbee." Twitch smirked, cracking his knuckles. "Anyone care to join me? I've got a sweet ride." he nodded his head to a slick red sports car. His fingers started twitching.
X-Ray punched him playfully on the arm, "No, idiot. I'm not getting sent to some place worse than that hell hole we call CGL."
"I'm actually going to go get some lunch from a diner close by." I excused myself. How funny would El's reaction be to me getting kicked out of school on the first day?
"You're passing up hot chicks for food?" Magnet wrinkled his nose, "Who are you and what have you done with Squid?"
I snorted, "Maybe I've already got a hot chick of my own?" I muttered. I didn't even realize I had said anything until I looked up to see everyone staring at me with shocked eyes. Whoops.
"You've got a girlfriend?" Armpit asked in a disbelieving tone. "No way, man."
"I never said I had a girlfriend." I shrugged, "I just said I knew a hot chick."
Fuck my life, I never should have said anything.
"What's her name?" Caveman asked, genuinely interested. Actually, they were all genuinely interested, he just looked like he was more intrigued with the girl herself than the fact that I managed to 'snag a girlfriend.'
"It doesn't matter, forget I said anything." I dismissed it. "I actually have to go ow so..."
I didn't wait for an answer, I just turned around and started in the direction of where El worked.
I think that was the longest walk I've ever taken to get to one place because I wanted to make sure that the guys weren't following me. If they did and saw a slightly pregnant chick who I clearly was more than just aquatinted with, all hell would break loose.
When I finally reached the diner, I pushed open the door with a shit eating grin on my face. This was going to be hilarious. El was sorting out menus at the front of the diner and glanced up briefly to see it was me before looking back down again.
The fact that I was standing in front of her, bloodied and bruised, smiling and definately not in school where I should be, hit her like a freight train. At first, she just froze, still staring at the maroon colored menus in her hand before her head slowly turned up.
And then the menus slipped from her hands and her jaws dropped. "Oh my-"
I chuckled as the brunette rushed towards me, grabbing my face in her hands and staring at where the blood was coming from. "What happened?" she gasped. "And why the fuck aren't you in school?"
"They kicked me out for the day." I shrugged. The next thing I knew, I was being dragged off to the washrooms and a clump of napkins were getting shoved at my face. "Apparently fighting isn't allowed."
"Are you fucking insane? Obviously fighting isn't allowed!" I couldn't help but laugh athow distressed El looked, not to mention pissed off. For the millionth time since I moved in with her, she slapped me across the arm. "Can you please be serious for five seconds! Why did you get beat up?"
I huffed, "I did not get beat up! You should have seen the other guy!" El slapped me again, this time on the shoulder where I had landed when I tackled the guy. "You should be thankful. The guy was making fun of you, he said you didn't add enough cream to your coffee."
"Squid!" El snapped and looked like she was about to slap me again. My shoulder was still throbbing so I decided the truth might actually be the right choice for now.
"Okay, okay. Some jock spat in Armpits face!" I surrendered and El looked even more frazzled and pissed than my first excuse.
"ARMPITS DON'T HAVE FACES!" El shrieked, probably loud enough for all the other customers to hear from outside the ladies washroom, which smelt delicious by the way! I don't know if girls piss perfume or something but the men's washroom is rancid compared to this.
"I'm talking about my friend, Armpit!" I hissed quietly. I'm pretty sure her idiot of a boss wouldn't want noise complaints about armpits. "Not my armpit! Armpit is one of my buddies from Camp! A group of football players tried to make us move tables and one of them spat in Armpits face."
Realization spread over El's features. "Oh." then confusion, "Why the fuck would you pick a fight with a football player? Let alone a group of them."
I scoffed, "Excuse me, have you seen me? I could take on Godzilla."
El snorted, "Right."
"Fine, don't believe the cold hard facts. Just go make me a coffee woman." I ordered and my 'girlfriend' rolled her chocolate brown eyes before pushing the bathroom door open and leaving.
Not wanting to be left alone in the Woman's washroom, I quickly followed, and thankfully, no one was watching. El and I split ways as I walked over to my booth in the corner and she went to go make me a coffee.
Hopefully she got my hint from before and added more cream.
IMPORTANT!
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