Boys: Ezekiel, Owen, Cody, Shawn, Mike, Noah, Rodney, Duncan, Topher
Girls: Eva, Sadie, Ella, Jo, Heather, Lindsay, Sky, Amy, Izzy
Episode 01: Walk Like an Egyptian - Part 1
"Season three of Total Drama, folks!" Chris McLean opened excitedly. The host was standing in front of what looked like an airport. "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea!" He turned to the side as a sputtering engine was heard off-screen.
"Sadly," he said as the shot zoomed out as a bus pulled up along the road behind him, "I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring traveling teen freak show." The bus door opened, and the camera cut back to Chris' close-up. "They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars," he announced. "So, let's meet our players!" The camera cut back to the front of the bus as the cast began to walk by.
"Amy!" The Volleyball Queen hopped off the bus with a smile, and had a red backpack on in addition to her regular outfit. "Duncan!" The Delinquent was next, smirking at the camera and wearing a pack that was similar to Amy's, only it was blue. "Heather," The Queen Bee was third, waving at the camera and wearing a red backpack. "Jo!" Next was The Take-No-Prisoners Machine, smiling softly as she had on her red pack. "Mike!" Fifth was The Comedian wearing his blue backpack. "Sky!" The Athlete was the last one of the group to appear with her red pack.
The camera cut back to Jo and Heather as the jock-ette bumped into Heather.
"Are there reserved seats? I wouldn't want to look at Baldy's pony hair ponytail?" Jo said.
"Um, my extensions are human hair," Heather told her.
"You learn something new every day," Duncan joked around.
Sky playfully rolled her eyes at her competitors' behavior while Mike chuckled a bit.
"Lindsay!" Chris announced from next to the bus door as The Dumb Princess stepped off the bus and waved to the camera.
"Noah, Shawn, aaaand Rodney!" the smiling host continued as the three boys stepped off the bus one-by-one.
"The audience already knows who we are," The Schemer said in a bored tone. "Not a minute in, and I'm already unentertained."
"A little reintroduction wouldn't hurt anybody," The Country Boy said as he walked away. "It is the first episode."
The voice of the Conspiracy Nut continued after that. "It's a good thing we're gonna be on a plane. No more sleeping on trees!"
"I do see your point?" The Fairytale Princess's voice could be heard from inside the bus before she stepped out. "We all want to try new things every now and then."
"And returning favorites," Chirs announced, "Ella, Cody!" As Ella walked away, The Geek began to step off the bus. "Aaaannd..." the host continued as the camera's focus moved to him.
"Yo, yo, yo!" the familiar voice of The Home-Schooled Guy prattled before he stepped off the bus. "This year's winner is in the house! Er... bus. I mean... runway! Where's the plane, eh?"
A panicking Owen stood behind Ezekiel. "A plane?! Why that?! I'm terrified of flying!" The Funniest Guy Around ran out of the bus, accidentally knocking Ezekiel onto the floor.
"Yup!" Chris told the camera. "Owen's back! Also returning this season, Sadie," The Thrill Seeker perkily waved her arm to the camera as she stepped out with a grin on her face... only to trip onto the floor. "And the hot-tempered muscle Woman, Eva." The Female Bully didn't smile for the camera and stepped off the bus, picking Ezekiel and Sadie off the floor.
"Yo, Chris, you forgot to introduce me!" Ezekiel spoke up.
Chris sighed. "And Ezekiel," he finally said. "And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh," he grinned, "we're adding two new competitors! He's a top tier poise class student who's got an actor for a dad and is my number one fan, Topher!"
The camera cut to The Chris Wannabe as he stepped into the bus's doorway, glancing around with an excited grin. "Thanks for the wonderful intro, Chris! I just know that this season will be the best one yet!" he fanboyed profusely.
"I know, right?" the hyper voice of The Psycho Hose Beast cried out. "Let's fly!" In her excitement, she jumped onto Topher's shoulders.
"Watch the hair!" Topher yelled as he tried to keep his balance, but Izzy's weight sent both of them tumbling down.
The scene cut back to Chris as he announced the second newcomer. "She didn't wait her turn, but I'm just gonna continue with the script," he said with annoyance before switching back to his happy face. "She's a wild child who can't be tamed if left unchecked, Izzy!"
The sudden sound of a squeaky wheel and sputtering engine caused everybody to turn around. The camera showed several close-ups of the Total Drama Jumbo Jet. First the grungy and patched-together triple-wheeled undercarriage landing gear. Next, the engines on the right wing, the one with a bird nest in front giving off a short burst of smoke. Then a closer shot of the top half of the plane as it passed the camera, Chef Hatchet visible through the cockpit window wearing a pilot's uniform. And lastly the Chris McLean logo on the side of the jet as the wheels screeched below.
"What the?" Sadie asked.
"Where did you get this plane?" Amy spoke up. "It's doesn't look safe."
"Relax!" Chris told her. "It's perfectly safe!"
Naturally it was then that a panel on the side of the plane fell off, a rat and a raccoon clinging to the piece of metal as it clattered to the ground then running off. "Now boarding!" Chris declared.
"No! I can't ride in that!" Owen cried, causing Chris to grow irritated. "Call the United Nations! Call a cab! Call my mom! No! I'm not doing this! I'm out! This is unethical!"
He was silenced by Chris knocking him out with a frying pan. "Mommy!" Owen muttered weakly before falling to the ground.
"Anybody else got a problem with it?" Chris threatened with his pan.
"No," Cody quickly replied.
"Love it!" Lindsay fibbed.
"Now boarding on a voyage to a million big ones!" Chris turned to the camera. "We're saving you a first class seat for all the action. Right here on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" He sang the last two words and a grand little jingle played as the camera zoomed out to show the full cast as well as the jumbo jet.
"Seriously?" Eva asked in disbelief.
XXXXX
[The sequence opens with a tilted shot of a stagelight swinging up and turning on in front of an airport control tower, followed by another light popping out of an overhead compartment along with a pair of oxygen masks; then a camera forcibly ejecting a raccoon from a wing engine and another camera bursting out of a suitcase, sending undergarments flying. A pair of white-skinned arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, which then flies down the aisle of first class seats. It passes a drink cart, then forces Chris to jump to the side as the camera flies into the cockpit.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine
[Chef is piloting the plane in the cockpit, bobbleheads of himself and the host sitting on the control panel. For a single frame he turns his head and glares at the camera before it passes through the windshield and out onto the runway, the silhouette of the CN Tower visible in the distance as the camera flies over and through several baggage carts.]
You guys are on my mind
[Fading through the whiteness of a baggage cart, the camera emerges close to the CN Tower. The camera flies up along it, the sun shining bright at its peak. The scene arcs downward towards a lake, and speeds forward into it with a splash.]
You asked me what I wanted to be
[The bubbles from the splash fade to show Owen underwater looking at a fish. He then notices that his swimsuit is off, and he covers himself as the camera pans up to the surface.]
And now I think the answer is plain to see
[On the roof of the cabin of a boat woven from reeds, Ella is singing to herself while attracting birds to her.]
I wanna be...famous
[The camera pans down and to the right to where Rodney and Eva are paddling as crocodiles leap out of the water on either side and snap their jaws. The boat leaves the screen, and on 'be' one of the reptiles winces; the camera moves back to the boat, revealing that it had crashed into an inflatable raft which Jo was on. The raft begins to sink, and while Jo sinks, Rodney looks back at an unimpressed Eva with nervousness.]
I wanna live close to the sun
[The camera flashes to the Statue of Liberty, immediately cutting to the top of its head as Cody helps Heather climb to the top. She gives him a glare in response to his flirty smirk.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won
[The couple stops with shock on their faces as Duncan suddenly runs past, pushing a terrified Ezekiel in a baby carriage. The delinquent runs straight into Shawn, who had gotten down on all fours in their path. The carriage flips over, sending Ezekiel over the edge of the statue.]
Everything to prove
[The camera quick-pans to Sadie in a frozen setting. She catches Ezekiel with a smile on her face, to which Ezekiel gratefully grins back.]
Nothin' in my way
I'll get there one day
[Another pan to the right shows Lindsay with a compact mirror in her hand as she admires herself. Her eyes widen in alarm as she spots something in the reflection, and then she runs away. The camera pans to a polar bear glaring at the blonde... which reveals itself to be Izzy wearing a costume when the crazy girl takes off the head in order to laugh to herself.]
'Cause I wanna be...famous
[The camera zooms out to show a baby seal snarling at Izzy, who gives it a confused look until it attacks her and causes her to run away. The camera zooms in on the glacial background, and flashes over to Sky and Topher surfing a rather large wave. The Chris Wannabe tries to double-point to the camera but he crashes into the athlete, sending both into the water.]
(Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[Amy, Noah, and Mike were next, taking over-exaggerated steps along a certain British crosswalk as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet suddenly flew down the road, forcing the teens to duck in terror as the plane blew cars and trees past them. The scene changes again, now showing the entire cast in a human pyramid on top of the jet wearing parachute packs, singing the lyrics, and kicking their legs to the beat. On bottom are Ezekiel, Lindsay, Shawn, Amy, Sadie, and Rodney. The second row consists of Heather, Jo, Ella, Duncan, and Cody. The third row is Noah, Topher, Mike, and Sky; while on top are Owen, Izzy, and Eva.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The jet flies right past Big Ben, causing one face of its clock to spring off; the jet flies over the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, startling a very French mime into dropping a croissant; the jet flies past a rock balancing on a stone pillar, causing the rock to fall off and land in front of the camera with a cloud of dust.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous (Na nananana nanananana nananananana)
[The dust clears to show Izzy and Owen in close-up on top of the human pyramid, with them staring at each other's eyes affectionately. The camera then pans down to Heather and Jo as they scowl at each other, then down again to Rodney as a bird flies into his face, causing him to frown.]
[The lyrics end as the scene cuts to Chef Hatchet in the cockpit, looking above him with a scowl on his face. A guitar is strummed as the hulking pilot looks forward and turns the plane sharply to the left, and the last few whistling notes play as, back outside, the cast falls through the open air. Most soon deploy their parachutes and float down safely, the camera panning down to show the majority of the cast lined up and smiling at the camera. From left to right are Topher, Ella, Mike, Noah, Izzy, Owen, Sky, Sadie, Lindsay, Heather, Duncan, Jo, Cody, and Eva. Rodney is sitting on his butt in front of Sadie, Shawn had landed on his stomach in front of Ella, and Amy had landed on her butt next to him in front of Noah. The jet speeds in for a landing behind them as the song ends, the logo for 'Total Drama World Tour' on its side. Afterwards, Ezekiel finally lands flat on his face in the middle of the group.]
XXXXX
The scene faded back in to Chris leading the cast into what looked like an eating area. "So we really are singing?" Sky thought aloud. "I didn't think Chris was serious."
"Well, I don't have a problem with it," Ella admitted happily.
"Yeah, because you like singing," Mike told her.
"Well, I don't!" Duncan declared. "Girls sing, little birdies sing," he crossed his arms and added "Duncans do not sing."
"Think I'll get to yodel?" Rodney asked Lindsay.
"I'd rather cut off my ears than hear that," Jo warned.
"Why are you doing this to us?" Heather asked.
"Singing reality shows are huge," Chris explained. "And! The worse the singing, the higher the ratings! Which is why on this show," the camera began to pan across the mostly-nervous faces of the cast, "there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals, or warning!" The cast immediately began to complain.
"Anyhoo," the host continued over the annoyed murmur, "this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals!" He motioned to one of the tables behind him, the seats of which seemed to be a combination of crates and trash cans.
"Not for long, eh!" Ezekiel immediately interrupted. "Prepare to lose to the Zeke!"
"I don't want to be mean," Shawn spoke up, "but you were one of the first people voted out last time."
"Word. And I spent every minute since making sure that don't happen again," Ezekiel continued. "I'm stronger, faster, smarter..."
"Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-up-ier," Chris interrupted with a scowl. "Now zip it and let me finish the tour so we can get this bird in flight!"
"Is there a ladies room?" Amy asked.
"Just through there," Chris said with a smile.
"Good," Amy said as she walked past, "I really need to let liquid out."
Confessional: Amy
After a bit of static, the volleyball girl was shown walking into a small and slightly dirty restroom through a camera behind the sink. She went to take down her shorts, only to notice the camera.
"There's a camera in the bathroom?" Amy asked, leaning forward against the sink. "Again? Can't anyone get a little privacy on this show?" She asked while crossing her arms.
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to Chris, his back to the camera, addressing the contestants in another open room. "Losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations," he said as the shot pulled back to show the room had no seats, only benches along the walls on both sides; it also had a small drip of water coming down on the right.
"Okay, well, where are our beds?" Lindsay asked.
"Owen," Chris said as he looked to his left, "care to demonstrate."
The cast and camera turned to see the big guy strapped onto the bench and sleeping against the wall. "Plane... No..."
"That does not look comfortable," Sadie commented.
"No comfort for losers," Chris continued. "Safety harnesses and an emergency exit. But no comfort here, here, or here."
Izzy walked up to the host. "Wow, Chris. You've just described my bedroom."
"We should hit the winner's compartment, eh? 'Cause I ain't never gonna sit back here. Never!" Ezekiel bragged.
"Is never your policy on shutting up?" Eva growled at the homeschooler, causing him to gulp.
\
The scene flashed to the host standing in the aisle of a much fancier room, filled with actual seats and even a meeting table. "This," Chris said as the camera panned to the left and showed the contestants enjoying themselves, "is the first class cabin. The domain of each week's winners."
The pan stopped on Topher and Lindsay, who were standing by the last row of seats next to a mini-bar. Heather was watching them from a seat nearby, as was Rodney and Cody from down the aisle.
"Chris, this is more like it," Topher gazed. "What with us being celebrities and all."
"It's definitely better than the mess hall and the craft service tent," Lindsay said.
"That guy really likes Chris," Rodney commented to Cody.
"It's quite surprising," Cody said.
"We all don't like Chris," Rodney said. "What does he see in him?"
"I don't know, but he's the one percentage of people that are fans of the host," Cody replied.
The camera cut back to Lindsay and Topher. "How's your first day with us going?" Lindsay questioned the junior Chris.
"I'd call it 5 out of 5 stars, but I have to remove a star thanks to Izzy messing up my hair earlier," Topher commented.
"She's just being silly," Lindsay explained. "I'm sure she meant no harm in doing that."
"If you say so," Topher muttered.
Confessional: Topher
Topher sat in the confessional with his hands behind his head and one leg propped up on the seat. "My first Total Drama confessional for the season, and inside a plane instead of an outhouse of all places. I have to say, the drama from the past two seasons was a bit in the middle for me. I never saw any relationship troubles, any friendships coming to an end. Nothing." He showed a smile. "I believe I can spice things up."
Confessional Ends
"Whoa, where are we right now?" Noah asked as the footage cut back to him standing in awe with his back to an entertainment system. "A grand piano," he added as the camera quick-panned to a grand piano, "wood burning pizza oven," the shot cut to a close-up of a roaring fire in a cast iron wood-burning pizza oven, "and a four-person hot tub!" The shot pulled back from the oven to show a large hot tub set up next to it with lights around the edge and swirling waters.
"How do I win this?" Ella asked as she and Mike walked up to the hot tub.
Chris walked up behind them with a frown on his face. "Easy there," he told the two. "These are my quarters. And they're off limits," he said sternly, "clear?"
"Crystal," Mike sighed.
"You know," Sky chimed in next to the host, "I have to say that your limits are tempting." Chris just raised an eyebrow at her.
Confessional: Heather
"I am not going to lose three times in a row," Heather declared in the bathroom confessional. "I've got two options. Make friends with the newbies, or work with the Peanut Gallery members from last season."
"There's no way I can stand being around Izzy or Topher for more than two hours without losing my sanity, Ezekiel is annoying, Owen is completely useless, and Ella, Sadie, and Eva would prefer to avoid me. That means my only option is Cody," she finished with a smile.
Confessional Ends
The scene cut back to the dining area, the eighteen contestants seated at or around the two tables. "And that's pretty much it," Chris told the group, and as he spoke the high-pitched sound of the jet engines built up around them. "I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I'm sure you'll find those exciting destinations later, when I 'accidentally' lock you in them."
The craft suddenly shook, knocking Sky into Mike. "Are you okay, Sky?" Mike asked.
"Sorry," Sky stood up. "I just lost my footing."
"One more thing," Chris announced. "I'm sure you all remember a little something called the elimination ceremony?" The shot pulled back from his close-up as a few deep and dramatic notes played and he pointed off to the right. "Takes place right in there, my friends!"
\
The host and cast were now standing in another open room, Chris in particular next to an exit door that was flanked by giant wooden heads. "If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts," the host began to say before he was interrupted.
"I got a peanut allergy, yo," Ezekiel said at the front of the group. "Er, more like a sensitivity."
"You will be forced to take the Drop of Shame," Chris continued with an utterly unamused glare towards the boy.
"Okay, I just don't like-" Ezekiel began to add before the host grabbed him by his collar.
"Kinda like this!" The camera cut to the outside of the jet, now taxiing down the runway. Ezekiel was thrown from an open door near the tail, and bounced off the pavement as Chris could just be seen looking out the door.
"Hey!" Ezekiel laughed as he stood back up. "Good one!" The camera pulled back from his close-up as he began to chase after the plane. "Now, slow down and let my bling back in!"
"All eliminations are final, bro!" Chris said with a cheery wave from the open door.
\
The scene cut to a world map, an airplane symbol moving from northeastern Canada towards Africa. As it flew, the real jet's engines were roaring.
\
Once again, the scene cut back to the dining area. The cast were in the same seats they'd been in prior to the impromptu elimination demonstration.
"Every second, we're getting closer to adventure and further from the feds," Izzy said cheerfully.
This surprised everybody, Owen in particular. "What do you mean by that, Izzy?"
"I had a minor situation with the cops, and traveling around the world would keep me very far away," Izzy answered.
"What situation are you talking about?" Shawn asked.
Izzy was ready to explain. "So it starts out like this-"
It was then that a small musical note logo twirled onto the lower right corner of the screen, accompanied by two quick rings of a bell. The cast looked to the left, and the camera cut to Chris leaning coolly in the passageway out of the dining hall. He was wearing a dapper, if old-fashioned, suit, complete with bowler hat and baton. A short show tune played as he stood up straight, removed his hat, and struck a wide-legged pose with his feet turned inward.
"Whenever you hear that friendly little bell," he told the cast, "it's musical number time!" He raised his hat and baton into the air in another cheery pose, then stood straight again and put both items behind his back. "So!" he smiled devilishly. "Let's hear it!"
Ella's face immediately lit up. "What would you like us to sing?"
"You have to make it up as you go," Chris explained. "Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?"
/\/\/\
[A single blaring note started the song and Ella faced the camera with an excited grin.]
"Up! Up! Up! Uuuuup!"
[Ella stood up as she sang the first word. Next to her Amy did the same nervously. Izzy added her voice in the mix, looking very uncertain. And the impromptu harmony had a fourth voice added to it courtesy of Lindsay, who looked as nervous as Izzy.]
"Sing! Sing! Sing! Siiiing!"
[Shawn stood up and sang the first word with the usual uncertainty. Cody also added his voice as he too stood, then Rodney stood up and sang as widened as the first two, and finally Mike added his voice to the mix, looking alarmed as he did so.
"We're flying! And singing! We're flying and we're singing!"
[The girls, minus Eva and Jo, sang 'We're flying'. The guys, minus Duncan, Ezekiel, and Owen, added 'And singing' as they got in front of the ladies. The castmates sang the last part of the line over an aerial view of the jet as it passed over a winding river, the camera zooming in and rotating so the plane was now soaring against the sunny sky; the music made a hectic transition along with the shot.]
"Come fly with us! Come fly with us!"
[Sadie and Cody sang together as Sadie pushed a cart through the first class area while Cody sat on top of it.]
"We've got a lot of crazy tunes to bust!"
[Izzy broke out of a luggage compartment and got out, the music getting replaced with a hip-hop rendition.]
"Come fly with us! Come fly with us!"
[Sky sang in another part of first class, standing on a couch as she did so. Lindsay added her voice to the gymnast's as she stood on a recliner across the aisle.]
"Getting my hair gelled first is a must."
[Topher sang the part, getting in between the two girls and holding out hair gel. He tossed them to Sky and Lindsay, the girls smiling in gratitude.]
"Dudes, this is messed. You're singing in a plane."
[A slumped over Duncan sang back in the dining hall, speaking in time with the harsh drum beats that had taken over the music.]
"What did you expect? Chris is super insane."
[Shawn sang as he stood nearby practicing a fighting move as the drum beats briefly stopped. He somersaulted himself out of the scene.]
"Yeah, but guys, you're singing on TV!"
[Jo sang to the drum beats as she came nearby.]
"Haven't you always wanted to? It can't just be me!"
[Amy sang as she danced around before tip-toeing away and the drums stopped for good.]
"Come fly with us! Come fly with us!"
[Rodney sang to a more jazzy rendition of the background music as he danced. Mike added his voice in with his as he did his own form of dancing.]
"Do you know how to steer this thing?"
[Heather asked frantically in the cockpit, clutching to the copilot's seat.]
"I try."
[Chef said with a laid-back shrug, hands behind his head and legs lifted up. The music briefly cut out as the camera pulled back outside the plane; the camera rotated and zoomed back in on the rear side door as the music resumed at a slower pace]
"They thought they could leave me and depart. But this stowaway's got winning in his heart!"
[Ezekiel sang from inside an open piece of luggage that had a spotlight shining on it in what was presumably the cargo hold.]
"Come fly with us! Come die with us!"
[Noah sang, the camera panning right after the first line to show him watching with fear.]
"We're flying?! I hate flying! Stop the plane!"
[Owen sang, the camera panning right even further to show him also looking out a window in alarm. Chris knocked him out with his frying pan again.]
"Come fly with us! Come sing with us!"
[A number of voices sang together, the show tune becoming more upbeat despite the camera focusing on Jo and Duncan sulking back-to-back in the dining hall before panning out to show Cody, Heather, Izzy, and Rodney cheerfully singing.]
"NO!"
[The jock-ette and punk said forcefully just as the music cut down to a simmer and the four singers ducked back down to be replaced by Chris.]
"Anyone care for a copy of the season three rules? Because in order to escape instant elimination-"
[The host asked, holding up a stack of papers, then began to clarify before they were snatched out of his hand by Eva.]
"All contestants must sing in each show!"
[The female bully sang to a lighter part of the tune with apathy, her back to the glaring host.]
"Duncan, do it, yes or no?"
[Ella told Duncan, nudging him with her shoulder and the music taking on a forceful tone.]
"Jo, sing it, don't go."
[Shawn asked almost pathetically as he stared at his girlfriend with wide eyes.]
"I don't want to go home."
[Jo said begrudgingly.]
"Come fly with us! Come fly with us! Come, and fly, with uuuuuuuussss!"
[Jo sang once she got to her feet. The camera cut to the impressed or shocked looks on the cast's faces.]
"Duncan, how about you?"
[Ella asked again. Duncan, seeing that he had no choice, started to join in.]
"This suuuccccks!"
[The delinquent sang grudgingly, the camera slowly pulling back to show the majority of the cast now standing around him: Sky, Mike, and Jo in the back row; Cody, Ella, Shawn, Eva, Rodney, and Amy in the middle row; Lindsay sitting down, Topher on his knees, and Sadie on one knee. To stage right of Duncan in the front row; Izzy and Noah on one knee and Heather lying half on her side to stage left.]
"Yeah."
[The cast minus Duncan said as one, doing jazz hands as well.]
\/\/\/
The music ended, and the camera followed the cast's gaze over to Chris, who was reading a newspaper. A ding signaled the in-flight intercom coming on, and the host looked up as Chef began to talk. "Enough singing, fruitcakes!" he said, a loudspeaker on the wall shaking with every word. "Strap yourselves in! We are now beginning our descent into Egypt." He continued in what sounded like an under-his-breath tone. "Musical numbers. Worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot." The host gasped. "Hey, why's the PA light still on?" Chef asked. "Oh, sh-" A screeching feedback of the intercom turning off signaled that Chef had finally cut himself off.
"We'll be right back," Chris told the camera, his face scrunched up in annoyance.
\
(Commercial Break)
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TSWT 1 (pt 2)
The episode resumed with the jumbo jet having already landed on a runway in the Egyptian desert, the cast assembled out front and a great stone pyramid behind them in the distance.
"You guys ready for a little fun? Huh?" Chris asked as he entered the scene dressed as a Pharaoh, sipping some cold drink and getting carried in on a leaf-shaded sedan chair by two white-skinned men in stereotypical ancient Egyptian garb. "Wow, it's a scorcher out here huh?" he added before taking a sip of his drink through a bendy straw. "I call today's challenge 'Pyramid Over-Under'!" The nearby pyramid was shown as he named the challenge.
"An eleven hour flight, Chef's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number," Jo complained. "Now we've got a challenge?!"
"Don't you love this game?" Chris asked with a grin, the litter now on the ground as one of his 'servants' fanned him with the leaf.
\
The scene flashed forward to the sixteen present contestants lined up in two rows at a starting line: Noah, Izzy, Owen, Heather, Rodney, Mike, Jo, and a tin-foil wearing Shawn in the front; Amy, Cody, Sky, Topher, Lindsay, Sadie, Eva, Duncan, and Ella in back.
The camera cut to a close-up of Shawn, who clearly seemed to be suffering the most in the sizzling heat. "Is this what it feels like being cooked in a giant oven," he groaned, sweat pouring down his face.
"If you weren't dressed like a giant baked potato, you'd be out of the oven," Jo told him.
"Aluminum foil keeps aliens from reading your brains," Shawn said by way of explanation. "It's a problem in this area, so I brought my own aluminum hat."
Chris suddenly banged two large cymbals together. "Man!" the host said with his typical smile. "That's satisfying. Alright! 'Pyramid Over-Under' means you choose how you'll get to the finish line. Either over or under the pyramid. Got it?" Those on the right end nodded.
"Ready!" the host shouted as the contestants got into running positions. "Set!"
"Wait up, yo!" came the voice of Ezekiel, causing the castmates on-screen to look behind. "You guys! Wait up!" the prairie boy repeated, the shot pulling back to show him running up to the starting line. Chris was shown looking annoyed as the boy came running into the close-up, saying "I told you I wasn't gonna lose this time eh."
"Didn't we leave you in, like, Halifax, or Whitehorse, or, whatever?" Chris asked.
"It's called landing gear, homie," Ezekiel said. "I climbed it and hid with the cargo."
"Impressive," Chris told him. "But, you're still out."
"No way!" Ezekiel countered. "I'm in it to win it. Word!"
"Hey, it's your funeral," Chris said blankly before putting his smile back on and raising the cymbals. "Set? Go!" He banged them together and the cast started running, even Ezekiel after a moment. Many of them were shown running into the pyramid.
\
The scene flashed inside, the camera looking into a room from the doorway – several burial urns lined either wall, and there were three doorways out the other end.
"Oh great," Noah griped. "Our friendly neighborhood host dude failed to mention there were different paths."
The perspective inverted, showing some of the contestants who'd chosen 'under': Owen in front; Noah, Cody, and Shawn behind him on the left; Eva, Izzy, and Jo looking out from the right.
"Hey Cody," Heather asked from behind the group. "Which way do you think we should go?"
"Me?" Cody flabbergasted. "Why are you asking me? I'm not exactly leadership material."
"How do we know which way's right?" Owen pondered.
"I know!" Izzy got excited. "Okay, I saw this in a spy movie once. You lick your finger and hold it up to find the air flow!" She proceeded to do so. "The sand really crunches in your teeth. Fun! Okay, Sadie, give me your hand."
"Don't listen to Wildfire here," Jo said. "You guys may catch a case of her craziness. Come with me if you want to prevent that." She headed off, and Shawn, Sadie, and Ella followed also into the first door.
"Let's take the scary mummy door!" Izzy offered to Eva, Noah, and Owen while pointing to a door that had a symbol of a mummy. "I'm in charge!"
Confessional: Izzy
"I love this commando stuff!" Izzy gleefully exclaimed. "I swear, I would be so good in the army! No one would see me coming, it would be so fun! I adore sneaking up on people, okay? It's one of my passions in life! Sometimes, I just walk quietly around the room, and all of a sudden, I'm just like "Boo!" The psycho cackled at her own antics. "Once, I made my grandpa wet his pants! It was awesome!"
Confessional Ends
Another flash took the scene back outside the pyramid, the camera looking up at the sun blaring high above it's peak. A pan down the side put the focus on the trio of Amy, Lindsay, and Sky standing at the base.
"Is it too late to go under instead?" Amy asked while wiping off sweat.
"Mike's doing okay," Lindsay pointed out. The camera quick panned to show Mike jumping for one outcropping to another as Svetlana. "Scratch that. Svetlana's doing the work for him."
"She's very committed," Sky complimented as Svetlana leaped down to where the three girls were standing.
"Take my hands and we shall claim zee victory!" Svetlana held her arms out, and Sky and Lindsay grabbed one each before being pulled up.
"You forgot about me!" Amy yelled. "I'm not forgettable."
Confessional: Amy
"Back home, I got some heat for being a jerk to Beth and temporarily helping Heather," Amy confessed. "My teammates ignored me for a whole month and made me feel like I was invisible. I know Mike won't ignore me on purpose, so I'll just work with someone else."
Confessional Ends
"Do you need someone to partner up with?" Topher questioned Amy as he walked up to her alongside Duncan. "Just stick by our side."
"You and Duncan?" Amy eyed the both of them.
"I know you two don't see eye-to-eye, but I know you guys are some of the strongest players in the game," Topher made his point.
"I don't hate Amy anymore," Duncan told Topher. "She's still a snob, but she's not Heather."
"He's still juvenile, but now that we've eliminated each other out of the game, we've gotten to respect each other," Amy admitted. "I'll join up with you boys."
"That's good to hear," Topher said happily, but later turned bored, "and disappointing."
\
The scene switched to Izzy's group encountering a pile of bandages. "Oh, look. We're in a nurse's office!" Izzy pointed out.
"It's a pyramid, not a high school," Eva gruffly told her.
That didn't stop Izzy from grabbing the bandages. "Costume party! Mummy me!" She ordered her group.
\
The camera flashed back outside to the peak of the pyramid, where a sign had been set up warning of the fact that it was, quite literally, all downhill from there.
As Svetlana, Lindsay, and Sky got to the checkpoint, the camera panned down to show an exhausted Rodney. "I'm almost there!" he cheered as he continued. He unknowingly startled a scorpion, which stung him and caused him to hold the injured hand. This in turn caused him to lose his grip on the pyramid and fall down to the ground, hitting each terrace as he did so.
\
A close-up of an odd-looking floor tile back inside was shown next, and Heather's foot stepping on it. The shot rapidly pulled out to show Cody gasp then quickly force the queen bee down as several spears shot out of the walls.
"I did not see that coming," Heather told the geek.
"This place is boobytrapped," Cody comforted the mean girl while helping. "This is not our fault."
\
Meanwhile, Topher, Duncan, and Amy were climbing the pyramid. "So Amy, Duncan," Topher started up a conversation. "Tell me how you two got eliminated in your past seasons. I already know about the vengeance plot ones."
"We were going to vote Heather, but thanks to her bargain, I got targeted instead," Amy answered.
"I didn't even get eliminated normally the first time," Duncan said. "I was just picked by Chef to leave the island."
"You two definitely deserve better," Topher commented. "This game is brutal, and if you're not careful, you can get booted out for no reason other than you're powerful."
\
Ella, Jo, Sadie, and Shawn were shown next, running through the pyramid past a shelf of mummified animals; a penguin, a monkey, a dog, an octopus, and a cat judging by their shapes. The fairytale princess skidded to halt and turned back to get a closer look at them, prompting her companions to do so as well.
"Everybody," Ella said. "These animals are real. They have my sympathies."
"Ella!" Sadie cried. "We do not have time to mope over a stuffed dog!"
"And do not touch it," Shawn warned her. "These mummified animals will break by any contact, and you'll probably get cursed if you do so."
"We had an experience where we were cursed by a tiki doll, so I say listen to him," Jo said.
Ella realized what she was talking about. "You're right. I just don't like to watch anyone in despair," she told them and the four took off again.
\
"Izzy!" Owen called out as Noah and Eva watched. "Izzy!"
"She's lost," Eva said. "We've got to go."
"Poor Iz," Owen facepalmed.
"Poor Iz?" Noah retorted. "She kept insisting we go in circles because she "smelled something lucky." At this, he made air quotes.
"I think that might have been my fault," Owen said. "I ate some airplane food and got gassy."
"Keep that gas to yourself, bounce house, or you'll kill us before we're even out the pyramid," Eva warned him.
Confessional: Owen
"I love Izzy. Not like "love" love. But I think she's amazing," Owen confessed. "I know you think I'm crazy for liking her, and she is nutty, but she's just too adorable."
His stomach began to grumble. "The airplane food is fighting to get out. You guys shouldn't see this."
Confessional Ends
Another flash moved the focus to a close-up of a mummy icon at the top of a doorway, the camera panning down to show Ezekiel alone.
"Guys? Anybody?" he asked before noticing a small button on the wall ahead of her. "An intercom? What the shizzle? Yo, playas! Is this thing on?"
He pressed the button, and a pile of bandages dropped onto him from the ceiling, along with an ornate-looking ankh and crook.
\
"It's too steep for me to carry you guys," Mike told Lindsay and Sky as they were now standing at the peak of the pyramid.
"There must be a way," Sky glanced around and noticed the sign on top. "Maybe this could help us!"
"I can carry all of you down," Rodney said as he reached the top, but got sent back down when Sky took off the sign, crashing onto the steps all over again.
\
The next flash took the scene to a different location outside of the pyramid, the exit. Shawn and the three girls following him were the first ones out, running and panting all the way to the finish line where Chris was waiting for them.
"Good work guys!" Chris told them as they stopped to catch their breath.
"We're first?" Ella asked in happiness. "Yay!"
"Ella, go stand behind the number one," Chris started to direct. "Sadie, number two. Jo and Shawn, you're number three."
"Why are you splitting us up like this?" Shawn got confused.
"As a homage to this being our third season, we'll be doing THREE teams!" Chris enforced, causing the four players to gasp.
\
Back inside the pyramid, Heather and Cody were shown running from something and screaming. They were followed by an ominous shadow on the wall that was soon revealed to be cast by a shambling and barely-wrapped mummy.
As soon as it got to the center of the screen it paused then stuck an arm out to clear away the wrappings around its mouth.
"Guys guys guys!" Izzy's voice said from within the bandages. "How about another musical number?" She began her song. "A pyramid's just a triangle with room inside. I would be awesome as Frankenstein's bride!"
\
The camera cut to Eva and she said "Hey, brickhouse! I found wacko," she said as she saw a wrapped-up person, unaware that it was Ezekiel.
"Iz!" Owen perked up. "Say, you do make a cute mummy," he stated, causing Ezekiel to muffle a shout for help.
"That's not Izzy!" Noah realized with growing fear. "RUN!"
\
Back outside, Lindsay, Mike, and Sky surfed down the steps of the pyramid with a shout of joy. Unfortunately, Mike fell off and his shirt got caught by one of the steps, turning him into Vito. "Ay yo! Why does the sun have to be so hot up in here? I'm not ready for a tan!"
Vito grabbed his shirt and put it on, turning him back into Mike. After meeting up with the girls, they ran to the finish line.
"I'm gonna let you in on a detail!" Chris told the three, sticking an arm out to stop them. "This season, three teams! Sky, go to team three. Mike, you're moving to team one. And Lindsay, it's team two for you." As he spoke, Mike and Sky went to their respective teams and Lindsay stayed put.
"I get the two previous season winners on my team," Jo commented. "This should be good."
"If it's any consolation," Chris told Lindsay, "you do get...," a series of grunts and thuds got attention, and the camera followed his gaze backwards to show Rodney tumbling down the pyramid in a rather painful and uncontrolled manner. He finally landed half-buried in the sand.
"Rodney?" Lindsay smiled. "Sure. I'll take him."
"Yep!" Chris answered. "And to round out your team, you also get...," he motioned to the side, the shot cutting to the pyramid's exit where Eva, Noah, and Owen ran screaming out the structure all the way to the finish line. "Congratulations!"
"It could have been worse," Lindsay said. "Heather could've been on my team."
"But now we don't have to worry about her meanness," Sadie conversed. "Double fun!"
\
Back at the pyramid's exit, Cody and Heather were the next to exit the entrance and reach the finish line. "We made it!" Cody cheered. "And without setting off any more death traps!"
"I'm so happy I could scream," Heather grumbled.
"That's nice to hear," Chris announced. "Heather and Cody, you'll be on team one."
"Where's the rest of the contestants?" Cody asked. "I hope they didn't get lost."
The scene immediately cut to the pyramid's top where Amy, Topher, and Duncan were standing. "How are we going to do this? We don't have a sign or something to make getting down the pyramid easier," Topher whined.
"Oh kiii~iids!" Chris said to them through a megaphone, and a familiar set of dings played. "Recognize that sound?" the host asked as the shot moved back to him. "Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!"
"You said one song per episode!" Duncan said in anger.
"Yeah," Chris told him, "and this is a reprise, not a new song! So if you don't sing, you're out! Now let's hear it!"
"You know what? No!" Duncan shouted and ran down the steps of the pyramid so that he could confront Chris. "Three hours of climbing this stupid pyramid in this stupid heat, and you want me to sing? Forget it!"
"Dude," Chris told him, "you have a contract."
"I know we have a contract, but can't we just postpone the reprise?" Amy wondered as she and Topher also met with Chris. "We're sweaty and gross, and we don't want to strain our musical chords in just the first episode."
Chris sighed through his nose before making a decision. "Fine! I'm moving the reprise to the next episode! Unless you want me to change my mind, Topher and Amy, go complete team one. Duncan, you're team three."
"Thank you," Duncan rolled his eyes and joined his team.
Izzy made it out of the pyramid in her bandaged form, but was now carrying Ezekiel, who was still covered in bandages.
"Izzy, no!" Noah shouted.
"You're carrying the undead!" Owen warned the psycho hose beast.
"Cool!" Izzy cheered and set her eyes on her mummy. "Bite me and I can be your undead friend like Frankenstein."
Ezekiel jumped out of Izzy's arms and got himself out of the bandages. "Thanks for all the help, you knobs!" Ezekiel scolded Izzy and her group mates.
"Izzy, go join team three," Chris instructed.
"Come on, guy!" Ezekiel got in front of Chris. "After all this, you gotta let me back in the game."
Chris took to shoving him to the ground. "Fine, but only 'cause I don't want to hear you anymore. Go ahead and join team three."
"Oh, yes!" Ezekiel cheered before getting up and joining his team.
Confessional: Ezekiel
"I remember when Chris told me to stay quiet and try not to get kicked off too early in the first ever episode," Ezekiel confessed. "This is what happened, but I can make up for it eh."
Confessional Ends
The viewpoint shifted to show the three teams standing in an arc around the host: Rodney, Noah, Owen, Sadie, Eva, and Lindsay on the left; Izzy, Jo, Ezekiel, Sky, Shawn, and, Duncan on the right; Topher, Ella, Mike, Cody, Amy, and Heather further back on the right.
"Okay teams," Chris said. "Talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name. You have three minutes while I enjoy this ice cream cone," he held up the treat.
"Team Victory!" the six members of the former Team Three cheered as one, the camera cutting to the yellowish sky above them as a circular logo spun into the screen with a ding; it depicted a trophy that was colored bronze.
"Team Blizzard!" the six members of what was formerly Team One announced, raising their hands together in the air as Ella made Cody fall to the ground by raising her leg and accidentally kicking him in the crotch. Another ding accompanied the appearance of their new logo, a white snowy mountain symbol.
"Team Power!" the six members of a last named Team Two chorused, and their logo appeared: a symbol of a fist punching through cinder block and it was colored gray.
"All right!" Chris told them with his usual smile. "Best team name ever. And here are your rewards," he added, gesturing to the side. "Team Blizzard," he pointed back at the off-screen team, "you win a camel!" He pointed back to the other side, and the camera cut to a camel and a goat standing on a wooden platform nearby.
Out of the members of Team Blizzard, only Ella was happy about their prize.
"Team Power, you win a goat!" The goat immediately rushed over to the team headbutting Rodney and sending him off-screen.
"And Team Victory, here you go!" the host said while holding up a forked stick.
"Why do they get camels and goats and we get a stick?" Jo asked incredulously. "I crossed the finish line first."
"All will be explained," Chris said, "if I feel like it. Next time!" he looked at the camera. "Right here! On Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!"
(Roll the Credits)
Team Power: Rodney, Noah, Owen, Sadie, Eva, Lindsay
Team Blizzard: Mike, Topher, Cody, Heather, Ella, Amy
Team Victory: Sky, Jo, Izzy, Duncan, Shawn, Ezekiel
Author's Note: And so we begin our journey to season three. We have our three teams and trust me, we will not be pulling the Team Victory bullcrap. Any team could lose at any time so be prepared for that. So let's hope this season gets some good reviews and I hope I'll have fun with this season with all the plot points me and xx15 came up with. Hope to see you all in the next chapter.