I had a bit of writers block. I know what I want to happen, I'm just not sure when it should happen. Like, I don't want to use all my ideas at five months and still have four months of El's pregnancy to go. That would just end terribly with boring chapters until I reach the climax. So if you have any ideas or things you want added, feel free to tell them and I might use them.
I slammed my locker shut and slung my backpack over my shoulder before doing a quick look around. I had been avoiding the guys all day in case they asked me about what happened a few days ago. Two days after El's accident, I spent it at home. Jack even gave me a few days of paid vacation because he could tell I was clearly shaken up over it. Mr. Barlow, however, wasn't so nice on El. She still had to work even though she was the actual one in the car crash.
"Squid!" Shit. I slowly turned around to see Magnet standing next to Armpit, Caveman and Twitch. "Where have you been? And what got you all wound up on Tuesday?"
"Uh… don't worry about it, guys." I couldn't think of a good lie. I wasn't exactly known for panicking and when I ran out of the cafeteria, it obviously didn't sit well with my friends.
"No, seriously what-"
"I said don't worry about it!" Silence fell over the group as I clamped my mouth shut. I really need to learn when to shut the hell up.
"Right…" Armpit trailed off, eyeing me wearily. "We're meeting the rest of D-tent down at some diner, come with us, man."
I wanted to deny it. I really just wanted to go home and go to sleep without having to worry about answering a bunch of stupid questions in an interrogation that X-Ray was bound to give me. I was about to answer no when his words really settled in. "N- wait what? Which diner?"
El had never met these guys and if somehow she lets it slip that I'm the one who knocked her up, or even Mr. Barlow, I was screwed. The only thing I could hope for was that Armpit was talking about The Pancake Shack instead of Mo's Diner. Armpit pulled out his iPhone and scrolled through it a bit. "X says it's called Mo's Diner." Double shit!
"Uh, um, yeah, I'll go." I couldn't let them find out. I spotted Emily leaning against some lockers out of the corner of my eye and saw as she waved me over. "Don't leave without me, I just need to go talk with someone."
"Sure, we'll be waiting outside by the flag poles. Since X is the only one with a car, we have to walk there." Twitch managed to say the entire sentence without having a muscle spasm. I watched as my friends walked away before turning and approaching Emily. It looked like she had a small, white envelope in her hands. The second I saw it, I knew what was inside.
Emily handed me the envelope and I quickly shoved it in my pocket. I know it would end up getting wrinkled but I couldn't care less. People shouldn't trust me with these kind of things.
We didn't say anything else as I walked out the front doors of the school and spotted my friends fooling around near the flag poles. Armpit was pretending to be a pole dancer, Magnet and Twitch were laughing their asses off at him and Caveman just looked plain embarrassed to be there. When he saw me, his entire face brightened. "Oh, look, there's Squid! Looks like it's time to stop pole dancing."
Armpit stopped just as he began pulling his shirt off and walked towards me. "You finally ready to go?"
"I was gone like two seconds." I muttered and Pit simply laughed. Man, he was a weird dude. They all were. Zigzag takes the cake though. "Let's just go, man."
We started walking in the direction of Mo's Diner, while I sent a text to El telling her to be aware of D-tent and that she better have some damn good coffee ready for me. She texted me back a minute later telling me that Mr. Barlow already had to come out and ask 'the guy with crazy blonde hair' to get off the table and to keep his government conspiracy theories to himself. And that, my friends, is why I say us D-tenters are a weird bunch.
"Clyde wanted to see if D-tent wanted to have a small get together at his place on Sunday. They're celebrating raising over one million for the homeless shelter he grew up in." Caveman said suddenly. "He said it would just be us, a few people from his team and his family. He also said we could bring our girlfriends if we wanted to." Caveman added the last part with a small blush on his face. None of us had girlfriends…except me. Kind of.
"Sure, I can come." Armpit shrugged, "Now all I gotta do is get a girlfriend." We all laughed at that because a person like Armpit wasn't known for being boyfriend material. None of us were.
"I'm in. Clyde's bound to have some great cars…" Twitch's fingers started flexing and we all shot him a look. He'd better not steal Clyde Livingston's car. "Relax, guys! I'm just kiddin' around here."
"Squid?" I shrugged. I'd have to ask El if we had any important baby shit coming up but I was pretty sure we didn't.
"I'll see if I can. I might be busy." I answered just as we reached the diner. I could see El through the window, scribbling something down on a notepad. She was wearing a baggy sweater and leggings under her apron. Mo's Diner was usually pretty easy going about the dress code, especially when you were five months pregnant.
We walked in and spotted the rest of the guys arguing in one of the booths and Mr. Barlow was sitting at the counter, looking distraught. El spotted me from across the room and simply pointed to the booth that the D-tent crew was sitting in. Her wavy brown hair looked messier than usual and her apron was crooked. It seemed like the entire staff (meaning El and Mr. Barlow) were under a lot of stress and I know exactly who was causing it.
"I'll be there in a second." I told Twitch and walked up to El, pulling her to the side. "What's going on, you look terrible." Up close, I could see she had mascara smudges under her eyes and there was a red tint on her face.
"Thanks." El said bitterly as she ran a hand through her brown waves, brushing her hair out of her face and revealing the butterfly bandages on her forehead. "Your friends are retarded, you know that?"
I groaned, "What did they do now?" A few months ago, I probably would have acted the same as them but I couldn't be like that now that I lived with El and her job depended on me, partially at least.
"I don't want to be that girl that complains about all your friends but they're just…frustrating. They're loud and the blonde one keeps on standing up on the table and the one with glasses keeps on yelling at him to shut up and I had to beg Mr. Barlow to let them stay because I knew they were your frien-"
I placed my hands on her shoulders, "Calm down. Seriously El, you're stressing yourself out. I'll tell them to calm their tits and that you're my friend. Take a break and fix," I motioned to her entire disheveled look, "this."
El let out a sigh, "Yeah, you're right. Tell them I'll be there soon."
I smirked, "Wow, I'm actually right for once." El rolled her eyes and lightly slapped me across the arm.
"Go sit down, Squid." She laughed as I walked away. The guys were all watching me curiously, probably seeing the whole thing but not hearing what was said. A few of them already knew that I used to go to school with her but they probably didn't guess that we were that close. I slid into the booth next to Zero, who I hadn't seen in months.
"Hey man, what's up?" I smirked and Zero shrugged.
"Not too much, what about you?" Zero answered. He talked a lot more since we left Camp Green Lake and he was actually a pretty cool dude. I didn't really get to see him anymore and Caveman was really the only guy who talked to him constantly.
"Not too much." I turned to the rest of the guys and pointed to El who was just coming out of the bathroom, looking much less distressed. "See that girl?" they all nodded.
"She's our waitress!" Zigzag announced cheerfully.
"She's about to kick you guys out if you don't stop climbing up on tables." I looked at Zigzag and he chuckled sheepishly.
"How do you know her?" X-Ray asked, looking a little more accusing than curious. He could see El's baby bump and the way I talked to her a minute ago.
"She's one of my best friends." I answered, surprising even myself. I'd always considered El a friend but I didn't think of her as a best friend until now. But now that I think about it, I told her a lot more about myself than I did to the guys I'd always thought of as my brothers.
Everyone looked a little shocked at the answer but they didn't have time to question it because El arrived, holding her notebook in one hand and her pen in the other. "Are you ready to order?"
"I'll have a burger." Zigzag answered, tossing his menu to her which she surprisingly caught. Armpit ordered the skillet before also throwing the menu at El. I had to hide my laughter because at that moment when she realized that the rest of the table would also be throwing menus at her, she looked pissed.
"Hash browns and eggs." X-Ray said simply and copied Armpit and Zig's actions. I swear, El looked ready to beat all three of them.
"T-O-A-S-T, please." Zero said proudly. Well look at your snazzy new spelling skills. Caveman looked pretty proud about that too because he was beaming as much as a mother on her kids first day of school.
Zero was about to hand El the menu when Magnet ripped it from his hands and chucked it at her, yelling that he wanted waffles. I swear that not only five minutes ago, I told these guys to stop acting like assholes to El and look what they've started.
"And you may as well make a heart out of the syrup. We can all see the looks you've been giving me." Magnet wiggled his eyebrows. What does that even mean?
El stared at him shocked for a second, then she looked down at her stomach, then at him, then to her stomach and then at me. "I-is he serious?"
"Unfortunately." Caveman muttered for me and I snickered. El looked back at Magnet to see him making a heart with his fingers.
"I think it's safe to say that I'm taken." El glanced between Magnet and Caveman. Magnet looked crestfallen, like he wasn't expecting rejection at all and Caveman just looked ashamed. I am too, man. I am, too. I could see El's small shudder before turning away from the heartbroken teenager. "What can I get the rest of you?"
"Can I please have the soup?" Men don't order soup, Caveman. He started handing the menu to El but much like with Zero, Magnet got it before her and threw it in her face.
"Grilled," twitch, "cheese sand-"twitch, "which." I'll give you three guesses on who ordered that.
If you guessed anyone other than Twitch, then congratulations, you have officially been voted as mayor of Retard Republic.
"And you'll have coffee with cream and sugar." El said absentmindedly as she scribbled the final order on her notepad. She didn't even bother asking for my order because well, I haven't ordered any actual food here in over five months. She was in for a surprise though.
"Wait!" I yelled, standing up. I snatched Twitch's menu, which was still laying carelessly on the table, and opened it. El's eyes widened in a shock as she realized what was happening. "I shall have…"
Cue gasp.
"Pancakes." I finished, leaving El with her eyes wide and her jaw dropped. Even one of the cooks from the kitchen had peered out of the back to stare at me in surprise. The rest of the guys just looked confused, though.
"I'll get the party popper out." El said quietly, still trying to wrap her head around the fact. It wasn't every day that I ordered from Mo's and I figured that since I had some extra cash, I may as well treat myself to something nice.
I reeled my arm back, ready to chuck the menu as hard as I could at her when El's glare hardened. "If you throw that menu, be prepared to be drinking spit in your coffee for the next four months." She snarled. I knew she wasn't bluffing.
I politely hand her the menu before sitting down. El laughed before turning and walking away.
I looked up to see that everyone was staring at me as if I had grown another head. "What was that?" X-Ray pretty much spat.
"The real question is, who was that?" Zigzag snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. I sighed and leaned back in the booth.
"We've been over this; that was El-"
"Not her!" Zigzag yelled, making everyone in the diner turn around to glare at us. "I meant the guy speaking to her!"
"…what?"
Zigzag looked like he was getting frustrated. "That guy! The same one speaking to me right now! Who are you and where is the real Squid? What have you done with him? I swear if you've kidnap-"
"Zig, stop." I cut in. Anybody else would have thought the kid was kidding, but I knew he was dead serious. He probably thought I was possessed or an imposter or something like that. "I am Squid. What did I do that was not… Squid-like."
"Everything." Zero said. Even he was in on it, the sneaky little bastard.
"We've tried talking to you about it man, but you won't listen. You aren't the same guy you were at Camp." X-Ray said and I immediately felt my blood start to boil. Not this again. Why couldn't they just let it go?
"Are you guys' serious right now?" I snapped. "Did you ask me to come because this is an intervention or something? Is this what this is all about?"
"Man, we're just worried about you. You're our brother and you've been acting weird and we're just… scared that you've gotten into some bad stuff. We promised we'd stay clean since CGL and we aren't letting you being the one to back out of it so quickly." Armpit tried. I bit my lip and looked away. I felt like if I looked at them then I'd snap and punch the person closest to me. Which just so happened to be Zero and he's like twelve.
I don't hit children.
"Can you please just trust me on this when I say I'm clean? I'm not backing out of the deal." I snapped.
"Well okie dokie, let's have pan-" Zigzag was cut off when X-Ray held up his hand, leaning in closer to me to stare me down with his big, menacing glare.
"No. We aren't just going to write this off and trust you because honestly, we have no reason to trust you right now. You avoid us, you randomly run out on us at lunch, you're so secretive about everything and apparently you're 'besties' with people we haven't even met." X-Ray tried to keep his voice down but he looked pissed.
"Have you ever thought that maybe I'm friends with other people because they actually give a shit about me?" I snarled, staring X-Ray dead in the eyes. "Maybe I keep things secret because I know none of you actually care and maybe, just maybe, I'm acting different because for once in my life I'm actually happy."
"That's bullshit and you know it!" Magnet piped up. "You know we give a shit, man. We suffered CGL together! With the Warden and Mr. Sir!"
"Yeah, when have we ever given you the idea that we don't care?" Armpit looked more offended and angry than caring.
I tapped my chin thoughtfully, "Hm, I don't know. Could it have been those countless nights at camp when I cried myself to sleep and only one of you ever so much as asked me about it? Or maybe it was when I got sent home to a broken family and all of you knew, you knew, that my mom was an alcoholic and couldn't take care of me."
Everyone remained silent. They knew exactly what I was talking about.
"You know what really the cherry on top of it all is?" I laughed bitterly, "When I lived on the streets for weeks, wearing the same clothes every day, smelling like shit because I couldn't shower until it rained and not eating because I didn't have enough money for food. Now that I think about it, that might be one of the reasons that I don't trust you guys with my deep, dark secrets."
Silence filled the table as everyone stared at their hands for a few minutes. Finally, Twitch was the one to speak up.
"We didn't know man." He muttered.
"So you didn't even wonder why you could count my ribs through my shirt." I scoffed and he looked away again. "You know what? Never mind, I'm done. I can't deal with you guys right now."
I slid out of the booth and stormed towards the exit. El was carrying a large tray of food and when she saw me pass, her eyebrows furrowed and she tried to stop me as best as she could with all the food in her hands. "Squid? Where are you going?"
I yanked my wallet out and pulled out a large wad of bills that I knew was too much. I shoved the money in her pocket before turning and not stopping until I was out the door, twelve blocks down and at home.
I felt like someone just punched me in the gut. As much as the guys have been bugging me lately and as much as I felt like they didn't care about me in the slightest…they were still my friends. They were still the guys who endured months of torture with me and they were still the guys who I considered as nothing less than brothers. They were my family.
I collapsed on the couch but quickly jumped up when I hear the crumbling sound of paper being sat on. I reached for my back pocket and pulled out the envelope. It wasn't even open yet. I carefully pealed open the flap and let the black and white picture fall into my hand. It was blurry and I could barely make it out but there she was.
My baby.
She wasn't mine and she was just a picture right now but I still felt my heart sink when I saw her. At that moment I wanted nothing more for her to be real. To be the one to hold her in my arms and rock her to sleep at night. I didn't want D-tent to be my family. I wanted a real family.
I wanted that family with El.
Sort of an angst-y chapter but I hope you guys liked it anyway. It's one of my longest I think.