Chapter 18
Then it all clicked inside of her. That guy didn't look just like Austin. He was Austin himself! Her mouth dropped open as she stared at the picture in horror.
She tried to get them out of her head, but they kept coming back. One after the other her brain launched into memories of junior year.
What. The. Hell.? Austin Moon was the guy from her past? The one that haunted her in dreams and nightmares. The reason why she was afraid to let guys break down her walls. The fact that she moved from her hometown to Vermont because of him. And why her family and heart were broken to pieces. Her hands folded into fists as she squarely looked at the picture.
Their relationship didn't start off this way. They were once happy. And he had been such a nice guy. Had, key word.
-Flashback-
"Austin!" she whined. "Where are you taking me?"
He flashed one of his famous laid-back smiles and said, "Don't worry Ally. It's a surprise. And you're going to love it!"
Ally groaned. "Not another surprise. You know how much I hate them..." Ally had never really been a big fan of surprises. It just bugged her in some way. There was really no way to explain that condition of hers. And even if you tried you might just complicate yourself more.
"Well, learn to love surprises," Austin retorted. "They're good for you."
"Any scientific research to prove that?" Ally smiled defiantly.
"Um... no. Just shut up, we're here," he said, pulling up to a parking stall.
Ally got out to find sand all over her flats. "Austin!" she squealed. He came running as fast as he could to see what was the matter. "Sand in my shoes!" He rolled his eyes.
"It's the beach Ally. What do you expect?" he asked.
"Um, no sand?" she sarcastically replied. Ally took off her flats and grabbed her extra pair of sandals that were in the car. How she had them, or why they were there? I have no idea. "Okay so what now? Ah!" Austin suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the shore. The sudden pull was the reason for her gasp. "Austin!" she gasped, trying to keep up with his pace. Plus he had much larger strides, so she was literally being dragged.
"What? Oh. Sorry," he chuckled.
"What are we doing at the beach anyway?" she complained. "It's like burning sunlight, scratchy sand, watery depths, and torture."
"We're not going to the beach.. not yet," he added under his breath. "We're..." he led her a few paces more so other parked cars didn't obstruct their view "...at the famous Miami Boardwalk!"
"Oh my gosh! Thanks Austin! It's been a while since I've been here. Oh.. Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!" she squealed, jumping into his arms.
He nodded. "It's not the beach, but close enough."
Ally pulled away and smiled brightly at him. "I can't thank you enough today."
"Don't thank me yet. There's still the whole day." Ally was about to say something until Austin interrupted her. "Come on!" And once more he grabbed her hand and pulled her away. To all the fun and laughs that awaited them, that day.
"Austin!" she yelled as he pulled her to another booth. Ring-toss. She could do this. Right? But she wasn't as sure unlike Austin. "Do I have to?" she turned to Austin meekly. "I don't wanna."
"Oh, come on Ally! Just try. Please," he begged with his pleading warm puppy-dog eyes that no one and I mean NO ONE could refuse from.
"Ugh! Darn those puppy-dog eyes. But... uh..." she ripped her gaze from Austin's eyes to the booth. "Fine," she agreed grudgingly.
"Yes!" He pumped his fists and gave the guy a ticket for a game. He grabbed the three rings he was handed and presented them to Ally. "Here. And good luck. You can do this."
Ally looked at him, uncertain. "Um... exactly what do I have to do?"
"It's easy. Here..." He wrapped himself around her and took one of her arms with his. "You take the ring..." He pulled back his hand that was holding on to her arms. "And just toss..." And guiding Ally's arm he helped her toss the ring onto a standing bottle. "Just like that," he stated staring into her eyes.
"Yeah..." she breathed, lost in his eyes. Austin thought quickly about it, but in the end he did it. He shot his head forward and pressed his lips to hers and back.
A stolen kiss.
Ally gasp at the sudden kiss. But it was cute. It was sweet. It was just the type of thing Austin would do. She smiled at him and asked cheekily, "So...wanna help me win a stuffed panda? I'm new so I think I need help with this..."
He smiled. "Of course." For the next minute he guided her arms as she tossed the rings.
"Here you are Miss," the booth vendor said as he handed her a stuffed animal resembling a panda. Or some-what of it. He smiled at the two of them, reminiscing his high school years with his high school sweet-heart and current wife in his head. They had resembled the two with great similarities. He knew one day that they'd be a happy couple now and forever.
Ally squealed and took the 'thing' into her arms. "It's so soft! It's so cuddly. It's so plush! I love it! Thanks Austin."
He smiled back at her as he placed an arm around her walking down the boardwalk. "Anything you want to eat? Or play? My treat. But I have to say that so called panda doesn't look like one."
"Nuh-uh! It does look like one! You're just blinded," she huffed.
"Nah, it looks like a great brown bear with a panda head with too extremely large eyes. Somewhat resembling Pooh-bear, just not so... cute."
She frowned at him. "How can it...?" She looked down at her 'panda'. "It looks normal to me."
"No, you must be the blind one."
"Oh yeah?"
He nodded. "So wanna grab something to eat?" he asked converting the conversation else where because he knew, if they continued he'd be the one losing this conversation. She was in the debate team so... yeah.
"Uhh... not sure. Let's just keep walking," Ally said, checking out all the sights and the booths.
"Austin!" she squealed.
"Aww... Come on Ally! I know you like it!" he exclaimed jumping up and down laughing at his girlfriend.
"No! I hate it!" Ally squealed even more as she got more wet.
Apparently they were at a squirt-gun booth called "Fun in the Sun" and instead of aiming at the target he was supposed to be shooting water at; his new target had become Ally. "Awe come on!" Austin pressed on the trigger even harder, making the spray larger. Ally was totally getting wet and she couldn't focus on the game anymore. But her next move surprised him.
Ally couldn't take it anymore and decided to fight back. So she turned her water gun to him praying him with water.
He screamed like a girl as the cold stream of water hit him in the face. He stopped his gun to look at the damage. A wet shirt. Oh, great. But Ally didn't stop. He was getting less and less dry every second. The water doused him, but under the warm sun it was actually refreshing. "Thanks Ally. That feels great," he said, spreading his arms wide to get as much of the water sprayed onto him.
Her smirk disappeared. It was supposed to torture him. And somehow Austin could always find a way to turn it to her. Oh he was good. Very good. But not as good as her. She planned her revenge as the put the water guns back once seeing the booth vendor's face. Mumbling 'sorry' to the lady they continued down the walk clutching to their wet, clingy clothes.
"Ugh, its hot and sticky," Austin complained as he tried to unstick his shirt from him and to keep it loose, but stuck again.
"So take off your shirt," Ally said looking at him.
"But won't you get jealous if other girls start checking me out? I'm not really sure if you're the jealous type, but most girls are protective of their boyfriends. So it won't bother you if girls start staring at me or even coming up to me?" he asked looking at her with an intent look in his eyes.
"No, I'm fine," she said, but once seeing Austin's face she added, "I mean... I would get a bit jealous, but I don't want it to bother you. You can take your shirt off, just promise that you'll only have eyes for me."
"Of course, Ally! I'll only have eyes for you, forever! But you agreed to this..." he warned as he pulled his shirt off, messing his wet hair in the process. Ally thought he looked cute with his hair messed up going in all directions... her eyes traveled down... and damn! his toned body that was just perfect. In every way.
"What? You like what you see? Take a picture, it will last longer," Austin joked, wiggling his eyebrows.
She rolled his eyes at his big ego. But he did look cute. "Okay if you say so," she played along, pulling out her phone, to her camera app. Austin stood there on the boardwalk posing from time to time as Ally took pictures of him. "Ooh! Let's take one together," she suggest walking up to him, reversing to the reverse cam. They both smiled and click! The shot was done and it was picture-perfect!
"That looks awesome!" he complimented giving his shirt to Ally so she could stow it away in her mini mesh knapsack so it'd dry and they didn't need to carry it.
She nodded in agreement and the two continued their walk.
Pretty soon Ally noticed that every girl, especially teenage girls turned their way as they walked.
"So you wanna get some ice cream?" he airily asked as if he did not notice the tens of girls staring at the two of them. Or more like longing stares at him while fierce glares at her. And it made her uncomfortable especially because she didn't know any one of them.
"Um, yeah. Sure." Anything to get away from the stares.
"Shoot." There was an ice cream store just a minute's walk away so they started to head over. And still there were EVEN more stares. It was sorta irritating Ally, but Austin walked on like those girls weren't there. They entered the air-conditioned store and it felt good. A refreshing place after a morning at the boardwalk and still an afternoon to go. And just great! The person behind the counter had to be a girl! Just great! Oh, the joys.
"What would you like -damn!" the girl had just looked up from the cone she was addressing. She looked Austin up and down and smiled in a wolfish like. Then she spotted Ally. "Oh." You could hear the mere disappointment from her. "So uh... what you would guys like?" she asked, not happy anymore, but still managed a smile to Austin.
Ally didn't look too happy about that. "I'd like some fruity-mint swirl and my boyfriend would like some chocolate chip cookie dough, right Austin?" Ally asked, innocently or pretending to.
Austin smiled, knowing the problem, but played along.
The girl's eyes narrowed at Ally but suppressed a smile. "That's great. Your order will be ready in a minute." And with that she turned around to prepare their ice cream cones as Austin and Ally went to go find an empty table. Lucky for them there were two empty bar stools at the front.
"Ally," Austin called for her attention.
Ally looked up from her phone, where she had been currently texting Trish. "Um, yeah?"
"What's with you?" he asked.
"What'd you mean?" Her phone was going crazy with Trish's text and replying with a simple message, she turned it to silent.
"I mean... with the attitude and stuff. That isn't you." Austin carefully treaded around the problem. He knew talks like these would be disastrous, so he knew he had to be careful.
Ally sucked in her breath. She knew Austin would catch on. And he expected the truth from her. "Well uh... you know..."
"Come on, Ally. You can tell me anything," he soothed while patting her on the arm. He could guess the truth, but he needed to hear it. Make sure he was right.
"You know how I said I'd get jealous?"
Austin nodded remembering the recent conversation from not ten minutes ago.
"Well... I actually am jealous. If you haven't noticed I'll take you back to our conversation about who's blind or not because clearly you are."
Austin laughed. "Ally, you've got it all wrong! I ignore them because I don't care about them. I don't need to look at another girl, when I have one here with me. And she's the most beautiful and most smartest girl in the world."
Ally blushed. "Aw! Thanks Austin." She opened her arms as Austin gladly wrapped his arms around her.
And Ally knew that all the girls inside and out of the shop were staring daggers at her, but she didn't care as long as Austin was in her arms. In his arms she felt secure, no one could touch her there.
Finally letting go, Austin looked at Ally. "If it makes you feel better, I'll put my shirt back on."
Ally smiled. "No, I'm fine." But she thought of it again. "Okay, maybe I am bothered by it, okay! Fine, can you please put your shirt on?"
Austin smiled. "Of course. If other girls staring at me bothers you, I'll put my shirt back on."
"Your order's ready!" the girl called to the two of them.
They smiled at each other once more and walked up to get their ice cream cones. "Thanks," Austin said and Ally noticed that the girl seemed to melt a little on the inside. But she knew Austin didn't care for her. He didn't so she smiled too. "Yeah, thanks," she agreed.
The girl smiled at Austin... and Ally. "No problem. Come again."
Austin and Ally walked out slowly licking and cherishing their ice cream. Suddenly Austin laughed.
Ally turned to look at him. "What's so funny?"
He laughed again. "That girl! She even had the nerve!"
"To what?" Now Ally was even more confused. "Why? What'd she do?"
"Look." Austin held his ice cream cone up and took the napkin that surrounded it off. He held it out flat on his palm to show seven numbers. A cell number. Apparently the girl had the nerve to write her number and give it to Austin in the most cunning way so that Ally wouldn't have seen it.
Ally gasped once she realized it. "That girl!" She looked back toward the shop and started to make her way back over there again.
"Ally!" Austin grabbed Ally's arm and held her back. "Don't."
Several hours later, the sun had dimmed a bit so its rays didn't hurt as much. Finally tired of the boardwalk's games and chaos, they'd decided to walk on the beach. It was less crazy and more quiet.
The waves crashed merrily on the sand creating the break of the water. Water lapped at their feet as they walked hand-in-hand down the stretch of sand.
"Today had truly been amazing, Austin," Ally suddenly said, breaking the comforting silence.
"That was the plan. But it's not over yet!"
"What do you mean? More surprises?" Ally asked exasperated. "But I think I'm starting to love surprises."
"Then you'll love this!" Austin smiled crookedly which worried Ally. Then he turned to her and picked her up. Bridal-style. Austin then started to take off. Running through the shallow water was a bit challenging, but he managed. Austin laughed crazy at Ally's strangled screams.
"Austin! Let me down!" she scolded.
But he just ran faster which caused her screams to elevate in volume.
"Jeez Ally. You're going to make me deaf," he commented, now walking through the water.
"Great. That's my goal if you don't let me down," she retorted with a stern look.
But that look only made Austin laugh. "I'll let you down... when I want to."
Ally groaned. "When?"
"Aw! Don't you like this?"
"I do, but I want to know when I'm going to be let go of."
"How about... now?" Austin devilishly smiled and dropped her as gently as possible into the waters of Miami Beach.
Ally gasped as soon as she hit the shivering cold water. She thrashed around in the water until she found her way up. She broke the surface gasping for air, but once she cleared her head of water she looked around for Austin. But he was no where to be found. He couldn't have gone that far in that short amount of time, right? "Austin?!" she called out. Now she was really scared. And it was cold too. "Austin?" she called out again desperately.
Then she felt something brush against her leg. She screamed. And tripped backwards into the water. Bluish darkness started to overcome her.
Austin grunted in pain when Ally had tripped over him, but then he realized she had fallen over backwards. If he wasn't underwater he would've screamed. He popped his head above the water and looked for her. He submerged his head trying to find her. Once he found her, he pulled her up from the water depths.
"Ally!" he gasped.
Thankfully she wasn't knocked out. She opened her eyes slowly drinking in the sunlight and turned to Austin. "Don't you dare do something like that again!" she scolded with a stern look and tone.
Austin nodded his head vigorously. "Yes, learned my lesson."
Then Ally started to laugh. "Y-You should've seen your f-face!" She howled in laughter. "You-you were so scared! But yes, don't do something like that again."
"Oh, really?" Austin asked cheekily.
"No!" Ally squealed and took off running, splashing as she went across the shallow pools of water as the sun dawned upon them.
"Now, this had been the greatest first date ever," Ally stated as she sat on the sand next to Austin. "Thank you so much."
"No problem." He smiled at her and leaned back on his hands watching the water.
"Thanks again," She said. But before he could reply Ally pushed herself off the sand and leaned in towards him. Quickly she pressed her lips against his in a quick kiss. It was short, sweet, and passionate.
Once that was over she leaned against Austin's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Together they watched the sun set beyond the horizon listening to the sound of the waves crashing. Picture perfect.
...
Ally stared at her textbook. It was ten o'clock; and getting later into the night. And she was very tired, but she had a big test tomorrow, so she needed to study. The words were starting to float off of the page into the air; she was hallucinating. Not a good sign. Her vision blurred and refocused. So very tired.
She stood up, yawned and stretched her arms out a bit. Ally looked around her room with books scattered all over and some clothes thrown to the ground from the past few mornings from dressing up for school. It wasn't that cluttered, but some cleaning would help.
She looked down to her notebook. Her writing filled the margins more than it should. Ally shook her head and chuckled. She studied too hard. Sometimes more than for her own good. But she lived for perfect grades. She sighed and picked up a textbook and placed it on her desk.
Suddenly a loud knock on her window scared the death out of her. She immediately swiveled around and put her hands up in defense just in case. But wait! Kidnappers didn't know on people's windows. She slowly lowered her arms to see Austin's cheery face. He waved and motioned for her to open her balcony doors.
Ally rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes and pulled the doors open letting in cool autumnal winds that ruffled the papers and pages of her books.
"Hey Austin." She greeted him with a warm hug.
"Hey Alls," he returned.
Once they pulled away though not wanting to, she pulled the doors closed as she sat on her bed facing Austin. "So what are you doing here?"
"Just wanted to see you," he replied with a suave smile.
Ally playfully punched him. "Come on. It's late. What are you doing here?"
"I told you," he repeated. "I wanted to see you."
"Please." She rolled her eyes. "My dad could awake any second. Please go."
"It's not like we have a secret relationship," he persisted.
"Yeah, but my dad wouldn't like it if he found out that you're here this late at night," Ally countered.
"Why? Doesn't he trust you?" he retorted. "Or does he think that you're kinky enough to get with this." Austin joked, wiggling his eyebrows pointing to himself.
Ally giggled. "No, but he's my dad. You know him. He's protective of me."
"Okay, fine. I'm here to take you on a date."
"But its late. I don't think any places are open this late."
"No. The date is just a minute's walk."
Ally looked over her should to her door. "Um, okay. I trust you. What should I wear?"
Austin looked at her. "What you're wearing is fine."
Ally's mouth dropped. "Are you kidding?" She looked down at her grey yoga shorts and blue tank-top. "No way am I going out dressed like this."
"Trust me." Austin took Ally's hand and lead her to her balcony. He pulled the doors open to reveal the chilly air and walked out to the balcony with Ally following his stead. Then surprising Ally he jumped onto the garage's roof. Ally's room was party above the garage roof so it was possible to get onto the roof. "Come on Ally. Climb down. Or just jump into my arms. Please trust me."
Ally nodded and climbed over the railing. Then slowly she let herself down on the roof to join Austin. It slanted a little, but it was easy to catch her balance. "So what are we doing here?"
He walked a bit more of a distance, not that you could get far on a roof, and there was a laid out blanket with candle-lit lanterns surrounding it burning bright.
Ally gasped. "Oh my god. Austin! That's amazing!"
He smiled and sat down on the blanket and pulled her down with him. "Glad you loved it."
"I really do."
"Well, it's actually a moonlight picnic." And with his promised works he pulled out a picnic basket and pulled out a jar of pickles "...your favorite.." and a stack of pancakes "...my favorite..." Plus some cookies and a fresh bottle of milk.
"That's amazing!" Ally said grabbing a pickle out of jar and started to bit into it.
"I knew you'd love it," Austin smiled.
"Of course I would. I love everything about you."
"I love you too."
They didn't realize it at the time, but they had just thrown those three words at each other. It isn't easy to tell the person you love that you love them especially at a young age. They loved each other and possibly were IN love with the person. But their words were true no doubt about that.
"Hey, Austin," Ally called.
Austin turned his attention from the street below to face her. "Hm?"
Ally shook her head. "Never mind."
"Oh, come on Ally." Austin reached for her and started to tickled her.
"AUSTIN!" she shouted. Then they both gasped as they heard Mr. Dawson grunt in his sleep from his bedroom. They looked at each other with scared looks and stopped to listen if any more noises could be heard. None. They were in the clear.
"Don't do something like that again," Ally hissed.
Austin smiled cockily. "I won't... if it's late. But if were not hiding from anybody be prepared for the tickle monster!"
Ally giggled and laid back on the blanket to stare up at the heavens. It stayed quiet for the next few minutes as they stared thoughtfully at the skies.
"Austin?" Ally asked turning to him.
Austin propped himself up on his elbow to look at Ally. "Hm?"
"Have you... Have you ever thought that you could just stop time at one point and live in that moment forever?" Ally asked him with her chocolate brown eyes filled with intent.
Austin looked away to think for a minute. He knew his answer, but he was unsure of how to answer in words. "So many times I've wished that." He sighed. "But I know that isn't possible."
"I know it isn't, but what times have you felt that?"
"Well... one time would be when I was a little kid. My parents with my little sis had gone out boating out at sea to enjoy the day. It was so fun the most I had as a kid and that was before things got complicated. Before I had to grow up."
Ally smiled sorrowfully at her blond boyfriend.
"Another time would be times like these. With you. It's just the two of us with the whole world blocked out. Nothing but us. This moment is one I'd like to savor forever."
Ally smiled at Austin and he returned it. But he also leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It was a cold night out and the warmth of the kiss revived both of them. Hot, tingling feels wired through their bodies.
Pulling away, Austin laid his arm out and Ally leaned into Austin laying down right next to him. "This is a moment I'd like to keep forever," Austin repeated.
Ally nodded and stared at the shinning stars that were billions of light years away.
"Look," she breathed, "A shooting star. Maybe your wish can came true."
Austin looked up at the heavens and made his quick wish before saying, "But it has already came true."
-End of Flashback-
Their first and last date together before everything collapsed.
Their first date had been one of the greatest days she'd ever had with Austin. But too bad, it was all a façade.
Their last date wasn't even supposed to be their last. But in a sense it was sorta like one... just without the good-byes. It was sweet and simple and completely unexpected. She couldn't have loved him more... at that time.
Ally stared hard at the picture. It was literally tearing her to pieces. But finally those memories that had once moments ago pulsed through her brain in rapid progression. Finally it had died down. Now all that was left, was the picture.
Of Austin fricking Moon. (Don't forget Monica.)
Her face hardened until it was a grim look. She wanted to scream her lungs out! She wanted to pull out all her hair! What the fuck was going on? Her breathing increased so now she was gasping for breathes. Her hands shook as she tried to hold on to something steady. She needed a rock to keep her grounded.
The picture fluttered to the ground, gradually, gracefully falling to land face down on the shaggy carpet of her apartment. In her head a beat pulsed creating massive aches. It was killing her. Eating her inside-out. Until nothing of her was left.
She stared at the blank back-side of the picture. It should be burned. Burned to ashes. Like the way her heart had been burned.
She thought again of the memories. She thought again of the way they broke up and why. Re-thinking of everything she came to one final conclusion:
Maybe it was for the best.
I mean take a look at it. They were better off as friends or even better, as strangers. When they weren't near each other or even know each other and if it were to stay like that; the world would be happy. No chaos between them. One less troublesome couple that didn't exist.
They were better off.
No moments. No gazes into each other's eyes. No more of their dates. No more laughs shared between the two of them. No more cheesy comments. No more flashes of smiles. No more cozy sit-ins on the couch watching a cheesy romance comedy or a blood and gore horror movie while cuddling. No more sweet surprise of his picnic dates or stolen kisses.
And especially there was no more of their relationship. No more lies hidden behind each other's backs. No more frustration on where to meet and what to decide. No more of the hassle of dressing up for their dates. No more tension when things got hard. No more glares and raised voices.
No more. No more! Not even the mere memory of him.
Gone.
But something confused her. Austin... oh! His name brought tears to her eyes. Austin...
No matter. as of now they were complete strangers. She'd cute the ties between them. There wasn't to be an Austin&Ally. They were Austin Moon, the brawny macho hockey player from Colorado. And she was Ally Dawson, nerdy, bookish writer in love with the Lighthouse Book Café from Vermont. Separate. Like the way it should be. Balance in the universe.
Still the thought tugged her from the back of her mind. He... They very thought of him killed her. Oh, god. But still... he... he... he had called her the love of his life. And his tone, facial expression, and ody language matched his words. Was he telling the truth? Did he... love her?
-Flashback-
"DON'T KNOW ME ANYMORE!" he yelled. Ally shrunk down, bracing herself against Austin's harsh words. "YOU DON'T GIVE A SH*T?! WELL I DON'T EITHER! AND DON'T YOU KNOW HOW HARD THIS IS FOR ME?"
"Wha-"
"I TAKE TIME AWAY FROM MY CAREER-"
"Technically you're injured, b-"
"-TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE WHO I COULDN'T EVER BELIEVE I WOULD FIND AGAIN! THEN I FIND MYSE-"
"What do you mean? You found... you found her? Then what about me?!"
He remained silent. But sighed. "Yes, I found her. I didn't think I could, but I did."
"Where does that leave me?" Ally asked clearly heart-broken. "Never mind. We're over anyways, so..." She turned to leave once more to be stopped by Austin's voice.
"It leaves you in my heart."
She turned around to look at him. "Austin, I..."
"Yes, I found her. It's complicated but all I want, all I need is you."
-End of Flashback-
She he admitted that he had found his lost love which was her, but he wanted to be with her? What? But weren't they the same person? Her? Did that even make sense?
But either way it held the same message: He loved her.
But the pain. From the past and the present. How much more could she endure in the future? She... Everyone had a breaking point, and she was close.
But maybe she loved him too...? She wasn't sure. All she was sure of was the guy from her haunted past was Austin Moon.
It was Austin.
A/N: I know, I know. It's been a while. I'm sorry. But there was an extra long one to make it up to you guys. It didn't quite reach my 6K goal, but close enough. I'm sorry.
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