Emma broke most laws she had begrudgingly built a habit of protecting over the year as her yellow faithful sped to the mayoral mansion. Not bothering to lock the car, Emma hurdled over the gate, every scenario flashing in her mind seemed worst than the one before. Those scenarios made her body want to throw up on the very hedges she had walked by so many times. As she skipped the stairs landing on the porch, the door in front opened and suddenly Emma felt her left shoulder meet the nearby pillar. Catching her breath she caught the back of Cora, who had shoved her and was storming away from the house. Straightening up, Emma took a step in the opposite direction, "Regina?"
"Miss Swan", Regina's voice rang from inside the house and her tone held more strength than Cora's old yet surprisingly powerful hands.
Emma closed the door behind her and followed the voice to the study. When she stepped inside the room her face melted into relief. Her eyes went over the brunette's body and she told herself, Regina was ok. But then why was her foot tapping like she was going to burn a hole through the floor? Her eyes moved up and the companion pieces to the brunette's bad mood were all present: crossed arms, scowl in place, murderous glare.
"Hey, you said there was an emergency." Emma said as she opened the front of her coat, her body feeling hotter under Regina's gaze.
Regina just cocked her head to the sofa which was not empty as one would expect, a young boy occupied the farther side with his head hung low.
"Henry", Emma cried out, "what are you doing here? You are supposed to be home, does Mary Margaret know you are here?" She swallowed the rest of her concerns as she rushed over to Henry, "Kid, are you ok?"
She turned to look at Regina but only caught her back as she was exiting the room. Her head turned back to Henry, confusion etched on her face.
"Emma, you are supposed to follow mom." Henry said and his voice was small and incredibly serious for a child his age as his eyes lowered again. Emma ran her hand through his hair in what she hoped was a comforting touch.
"Just so you know, this was the last time you stayed back from school. Ever." she said before scampering behind Regina.
Emma entered the kitchen; even with the situation at hand her mind was half-thinking she should have left her boots out instead of dirtying Regina's clean floor. She looked down and frowned, filthy. She cleaned one boot on the jeans as she rubbed it on the back of her leg. She was about to do the same with the other when she heard Regina clear her throat.
"Miss Swan", Regina introduced a small white flask dangling in between her fingers, "Do you know what this is?"
Blonde eyebrows scrunched up as she saw the object, "Umm, plastic?"
"It's a flask. It usually contains water", her voice turned higher as she enunciated every syllable, "Holy water."
Regina's hands tightened around the bottled making an obnoxious sound as the plastic crushed into itself, "Who told Henry that my mother was possessed?"
.
.
Emma's jaw went slack.
.
.
She snorted.
The sheer ridiculousness of the situation caught Emma off-guard and one of her hand flew to her mouth. This could very well be a scene from an 80's sitcom where Emma would hear the audience laugh shortly and then the three would get ice cream, but only after the two mothers would have a meaningful yet funny talk with their kid. But the laugh bubbling in Emma's throat, along with any possibility of the day ending on a happy note, died when she saw the anger on Regina's face turn into shock.
"You think this is funny? You think-" Regina's voice slightly and she turned away instantly. Emma blanched when she saw Regina's fingers reaching up, possibly pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Regina. I didn't mean to-" The brunette raised her hand effectively cutting off her sentence short but not stopping Emma from approaching the woman.
"Regina. Hey Regina it's ok-"
The woman shook her head still not turning, "It's not ok. Nothing is. I thought once everything settles mother would meet Henry and... But Henry thinks she is - we are evil. He's hardly eleven and he was out to destroy us."
Two strong hands turned Regina, "Are you insane? The kid loves you so much that he actually came and threw fucking holy water on your mother, the Cora Mills. He thought he was saving you, he did it for you dammit, because he thought Cora is the reason you're not seeing him."
Regina scoffed, "That's absurd! Why would he think so?"
Emma instantly released the hold on Regina as she stepped back, slightly pivoting by the heel of her boots. Emma was not really sure whether she should run or not, but even when Regina's face failed to betray what she truly felt, like always it was her brown eyes that made it really hard for Emma to think clearly, let alone withhold any information from her. She wanted to comfort the woman so badly she hardly realised she had started speaking.
"Well… he may have overheard me." Regina slowly took a step behind, increasing the distance in between them, her eyes growing in shock after every word, "We were watching some exorcism movie and I was just wondering aloud.. it's just that, it was just a joke I swear, I'm really, really sorry."
"I don't believe this", Regina turned away in disgust and walked around the counter, Emma moving right behind her, "Actually it's hard not to believe, after all everything is a joke to you, isn't it? Playing with people's emotions, making them feel foolish."
"What are you talking about? Do you think I'm playing with you?" Emma spat out an angry whisper, trying to keep her volume low for Henry's sake.
Emma placed her hand on Regina's arms to make her stop pacing, but the brunette strongly flinched away from the contact, "You take my one mistake and use it against me."
"Mistake?" Emma cried out, "Are you kidding me right now?"
Regina glared at her as she moved away till the opposite side of the counter, "That was nothing but a momentary lapse of judgement."
"God woman, you need to stop lying to yourself." Emma said exasperatedly as she crossed the distance between them, stopping only when they were nose to nose.
"Excuse me? You are delusional to think if I'd want anything to do with you. It was a moment-"
Emma knew what Regina was going to say and it made her fingers curl in anger; all she saw was red as she pushed herself on to the woman, pinning her on the fridge behind till they were flush together. Her palms rested flat on either side of the brunette's head.
"You are lying. I can tell when you are lying."
"I am not, let me go." Regina gritted out the words. She tried to struggle out of her hold but Emma always seemed to have an upper hand when it came to physical strength.
"Fine", Emma's hand pulled up Regina's chin so she could look directly into her eyes, "Look at me, tell me you think it was a mistake."
Regina's eyes widened at her audacity and her palms wriggled their way to Emma's shoulders. But after a while they were still there, leaving Emma unsure if she was going to be pushed away or not. Nevertheless, she leaned into Regina till their foreheads almost touched, "Tell me."
Emma could feel every breath Regina was taking as their bodies heaved together.
"It was..." Regina looked away as her words came out stronger, "it is."
Emma's hand spread out to her cheek so she could turn her head back towards her.
"Really?"
Regina's breath hitched but she slowly nodded, her lips parted as she slowly tried to regain her breath. Emma leaned in, their noses touching making Regina's eyes slip shut, "Are you sure?"
"I-", Regina's eyes clenched tightly and Emma leaned in the final few inches. Her lips brushed the soft lips ahead for a second before she pushed forward. Her mind took her to their first kiss, however brief it was Emma still remembered how warm her lips felt. When she felt no resistance she tried to deepen the kiss but that was when her head suddenly met the hard wall of the fridge door.
Her eyes shot open and were instantly filled with panic when she saw the purple around her, all too reminiscent of last time. She turned back only to suddenly have her cheek come in contact with Regina's hand. The sting of the slap was nothing compared to what she felt when she saw the dark anger flaming in the brown eyes looking at her.
"Trap me like that again and Henry will only have one mother left."
Emma's hand caressed the right side of her face, her eyes blinked rapidly as she felt wetness accumulating. Her mouth was moving fast and breathless words escaped that were not making much sense, "I-I, no, I-wasn't trapping-"
Regina's body towered over Emma's as she straightened up while the blonde slumped down.
"Oh how pathetic, are you going to cry now? Make me feel pitiful enough to sleep with you?" Regina sneered as she narrowed her eyes, "Is that what you're missing, a warm body beside you since Neal isn't here? One would think you would get used to being alone by now?"
Emma's hand dropped from the side of her face as she closed her eyes. Her head felt like it could explode. But at the same time it felt quite the opposite, her head seemed on the verge of imploding any second from all the acute pressure she felt from every particle in the air, from every word and every person and from each and every possible direction. After the deepest breath her lungs could accommodate she opened her eyes again.
"You know..." she took another short breath, "I know you try to hurt people with your words when you feel defensive. I just wish they didn't work so well every time."
The blonde slinked out of the room giving one sharp shout for Henry before heading to the door. Not waiting for the kid she walked out before sprinting towards her car.
Emma walked in to the apartment, flinging her keys somewhere on the sofa as she made her way towards the kitchen. Henry walked in slowly behind her. He had been scared the whole ride back when Emma had refused to even look at him, let alone talk.
"Emma."
"Go to your room." Emma said, her hands opening and closing cupboards trying to find a glass.
"But-"
"But what kid?" she halted with her back still facing him, "What were you thinking Henry? Did you ever stop and think about what you're doing? Your actions can hurt someone, drive them away from you... Is that what you wanted?" Emma's frustration was driven at herself, so were her words, but Henry was the hapless unsuspecting victim.
"But-but" Henry's voice dropped to a low whisper, "I just wanted my mom back."
"Henry, just go to your room."
Henry took a step towards his mother, more concerned than scared but when Emma slammed a glass on the counter with force, he withdrew. Snow saw Henry rush past by her to his room and followed the sound of breaking glass. When she entered the living space she saw Emma taking care of shattered shards on the floor.
"Emma, is everything ok?"
"Yes."
The clipped tone was familiar, but her motherly instincts hinted that there was something more to the situation and to the kneeling woman sweeping the floor furiously. Snow tiptoed around the glass so she could put her hand on Emma's shoulder. As soon as her hand touched Emma, the dustpan fell from Emma's hands as she slumped down, stifled sobs tumbling out of her mouth.
...
Emma's head lay heavily on Snow's shoulder as she picked on her nails, her hands wound around her knees. Snow's hand gingerly stilled hers taking the opportunity to break the silence.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Emma shuffled, embarrassed as she was by her sudden show of waterworks, it kind of felt nice to just, let it all out. She wanted to take up on Snow's offer but after a moment, she sighed instead.
"Emma, you know you can tell me anything, I am your mother."
When Emma pulled away at the statement the cogs in Snow's mind turned slowly, "I am your friend before your mother. We used to talk about things didn't we?"
Emma gave her a wry smile, "Yeah." She chuckled, "a lifetime ago I think."
"Is this about Neal?"
Emma barely reacted and Snow tried again.
"Is this about Regina?"
Emma made a conscious effort to not react but Snow caught the sudden intake of breath.
"Emma?"
"Believe me you don't want to know."
Snow's hand pried open the clasp Emma's hands had formed so she could massage them in between her own, "Now you listen to me, there is nothing you can say about yourself that I wouldn't want to know."
Emma exhaled loudly; she looked at Snow for the longest time, expecting her to huff and give up or move away when tired of Emma's silence. But after all she did was smile at her encouragingly the whole time, she gave in to the urge to say what was bothering her.
"I screwed up. Big."
...
Somewhere in between the retelling of past events, Emma's head had found its way on Snow's shoulder again.
"Emma, what were you thinking?" Snow's voice was all concern and incredulity wrapped inside a mother's love.
"I don't know, wasn't I guess."
"Honey, you don't push someone to love you."
"But she said it first."
Snow smiled lightly, "Regina is a complicated woman, and I can't vouch for her feelings."
Snow shook her head as she turned to look her daughter in the eye, "But this is so unlike you, this just might be a rebound reaction after Neal."
Emma groaned as she sat straight, "It's not, Neal and I have nothing in common now besides Henry."
"But we can all see that you have been on edge ever since the, the incident at the pawn shop."
"Oh is that what we're calling it now?" Emma snapped back defensively.
Snow turned back, squirming in a world of discomfort, and with a nod which seemed more to herself, she leant back till her head met the wooden cupboard.
"All I'm saying is you've been through a lot", she said lightly, "the last few weeks have been quite toiling, and it's probably clouding your thinking. And in between the two of you, can you not see who's hurting the most?"
Emma clenched her eyes, "Henry, I know... I can't believe I let today happened. And then I shouted at him, God! I am supposed to be the adult here, fucking unbelievable."
Snow brought her hand up to Emma's cheek, just holding her in place as her own cheek rested on top of her hair.
"The important thing is knowing what the problem is, and then, then we can try fix it."
Unnerved by the closeness, Emma got out of her hold, slower than she wanted to so Snow wouldn't feel bad about her withdrawing from her touch. They both remained in comfortable silence before a snort escaped Emma.
"What?" Snow smiled in confusion.
"You know I'm not hearing anything on the lines of don't go dating the evil queen?" Emma nudged her lightly.
Snow laughed, but it wasn't one of her usual laughs, it was dark and filled with self-loathing that Emma was familiar with but would never associate with Snow White.
"Emma, let's just say you're not the only one who was affected with Gold's death." Snow shook her head as she ungraciously dropped her hands in her lap, "I'm done Emma, I'm done making choices for everyone: you, Regina, Henry. Just because I think it's for the best doesn't give me the right to impress it on others. It doesn't entitle me to divulge a secret, or to take someone away from them."
"Even if that person is Cora?"
Snow's fingers tightened into a fist, but the stiff figure was soon replaced by the mellow teacher Emma had been room-mates with.
"Regina's relationship with Cora, it's... it's difficult. But it's not ours to save."
Emma didn't say anything but her eyebrows scrunched up she lowered her eyes; she had a lot to think about that night.
Regina had been pacing around the study for hours now, waiting for her mother to come back. She had barely touched dinner and surprisingly spared a thought to Emma because her nerves had her so anxious about Cora's return, scared that she would come back and tell her how poorly she had raised Henry. She already had the whole argument rehearsed in her mind but even then, when she heard the door open at half past nine, she froze. She froze behind the door of her study, just standing and breathing quietly till she heard the muffled footsteps lighten followed by the closing of her door.
After taking a moment to reproach her behaviour, she extracted herself from her hiding place. She closed all the doors and checked all the lights and windows before moving upstairs. After she had brushed her teeth and changed into her night-clothes she realised there was nothing else to stall the talk further. So she did what she had to do, she knocked.
"Regina?"
Regina peeked in her head, "Mother, may I come in?"
Cora was already settled inside her bed. She turned on the bedside lamp and sat up, "Of course darling, I thought you'd slept."
Regina shook her head in refusal as she stepped inside. She stopped in her tracks as her eyes adjusted to the lamp, the sight of her mother catching her off-guard. She had her hair braided neatly and was wearing an off-white night-gown. Tucked inside the fleece blanket, she looked so docile and harmless that Regina forgot why she had been dreading this. She slowly sat on the corner of the bed, her hands coming to rest on top of each other.
"I'm sorry about what happened today, Henry is too."
Cora nodded, and then to her surprise, laughed. The surprise must have shown itself on Regina's face since Cora took one look at her daughter and let out a laugh louder than before.
"You know I was very angry, well furious, when I left. And since I am never really good at controlling my anger, Killian asked me what the matter was. When I told him he said something. He said", she let out a surprised sound, "well, that the boy may have been born out of a Charming but he carries the Mills spirit through and through."
Regina just blinked and it was when she heard her mother's laugh again that she relaxed, sighing in relief. She didn't shy from nudging her mother's legs when the older woman wouldn't stop sniggering.
"I'll have you know he is the most well-behaved ten-year old boy around."
"I'm sure he is, has he thought of a profession yet?"
Regina's smile disappeared immediately and she didn't know what she would do if this was Cora taking interest in ensuring Henry pursued a noble profession.
Cora was still smiling as she feigned contemplation, "I'd rather think that boy might have a future in fighting fires."
Regina's eyes widened, unable to mask her shock at her mother making light of the situation, "Mother!"
"What, he already has the fundamental knowledge."
Regina smiled as she made a half-hearted attempt to get up, "I'm just going to leave if you continue to make fun of him."
Cora patted the area next to her, "I jest Regina, come now, why don't you tell me more about him?"
Regina hobbled closer to Cora, thinking where to even start. The night went in re-telling of times when Henry had been naughty but more of when he'd been nice. Cora didn't need to see Regina to know she had been smiling the whole time. At some point, Regina lied down on her mother's lap over the covers as they both continued to talk about the boy. When Regina's yawns became periodic rather than sporadic Cora urged her to go to sleep. Cora switched off her lamp and just before sleep took over, she realised this was the first time she had felt a different emotion for that wretched boy, a positive one.
The kitchen in Mills mansion was already bustling when it could still be considered dark outside. Regina had decided to get up extra early to prepare a large breakfast for Cora, partly to make up for yesterday's incident and partly because she had never had a better time than talking with her mother about Henry. Time flew by quickly and when she was about to go upstairs to wake Cora up, she heard a knock on the door. Removing her apron, Regina checked the time. It was too early for someone to visit her, matter of fact it was too soon for anyone to visit her.
All of yesterday's events came crashing back when Regina opened the door.
Emma was dressed in her skinny jeans but a blue leather jacket replaced the usual black pea coat. Her eyes remained hidden behind aviators and her lips were pressed into a straight line, "Morning."
Regina's stepped out closing the door behind her. As the door clicked into place behind her, Regina looked down realising the blonde hadn't come alone. Henry was there, hidden behind Emma. He waved at Regina, his face a mixture of expectancy and hesitance effectively breaking Regina's heart.
"Henry", Regina said digging her foot into the mat, trying to not scoop him into his arms.
Henry had his arms crossed behind his back and he looked up to Emma who shot him a quick smile.
One of his hands revealed itself, carrying a bunch of wild daisies, "I'm really sorry" he waited a moment, "Mommy."
It was very difficult to not melt into a puddle right then, but Regina needed to be sure, "For what Henry?"
"For", he kicked the ground softly, "for throwing water at Nana."
"Henry, what you did yesterday was dangero-" Regina blinked, "what did you call her?"
Emma's ears perked up on hearing the word dangerous but she forgot that when she saw the shock and wonder in the brown eyes. Her head was tilted at a sharp angle and Emma felt she was watching a caveman staring at fire for the first time.
"Nana?" Henry asked, his eyebrows were raised telling Regina he was genuinely confused, "I already have a grandma, and I didn't want to confuse them both. I heard it in a movie, should I call her grandmother?"
"No, nana-" Regina bowed down as her hand brushed his hair out, "nana is fine."
Emma cleared her throat; "So we were wondering if maybe we can have lunch today, have a talk, about things.. and stuff."
Regina didn't look up but smiled warmly at Henry, "I'd like that."
Henry nodded too, giving a half smile before looking down, struck by a sudden bough of shyness and guilt.
Emma spoke again, "Henry why don't you wait in the car, I'll be right back."
Henry looked like he was going to protest but agreed. He quickly hugged his mother, rushing away before Regina could acknowledge it or return it. Regina instead clutched the flowers tighter and straightened up.
"Regina", Emma sighed, her hand coming up as her fingers tips landed on her forehead, "you were right, everyone was." the last part was said in a tired breath. "I've let my emotions get the best of me these last few days. I'd started to think that whatever I was doing was right because I had the right intentions or some bullshit."
Her fingers travelled below to pinch her eyes, "I don't know, it's the first time since a long time I'd felt so strongly for something that I lost hold of myself."
The aviators came off as she wiped her face before looking into Regina's eyes, "I am sorry for my behaviour recently. Really sorry, I can't really tell you how sorry I am. But I really don't want there to be any negativity between us, I-we-I can't let the kid suffer any more in the middle."
Emma looked back to where her car was standing before she looked at Regina, "Do you think we can start over? Forget anything ever happened?"
Regina's eyes went up and down Emma briskly, the silence stretching on slowly.
"I understand if you don't want to have to do anything with me, and that's cool. We can still make it work if we don't get in each other's way. I just want things to be easier, for Henry."
Regina looked behind to where Emma had been glancing, knowing that her boy was in the hint of yellow peeking from behind the hedges. She definitely didn't want to repeat the whole of last year's ordeal. This was a chance to welcome some calmness she badly required and more importantly, it was within her choice to welcome it.
"For Henry." Regina nodded.
Emma nodded curtly in return and gave her a barely visible smile before turning away. Regina watched her walk away and waited till she heard the engine to return inside. It was when she was in the kitchen when she realised her hands were empty. The daisies remained limp on the mat outside.
A/N:
The lack of reviews last chap threw me off somewhat but I've finally stopped being melodramatic about it (score one for confident-me!) Maybe this hasn't met with what most of you were expecting from the story and I understand that but since I've had it mapped out till pretty much the end, there won't be any deviation.
Thanks for the follows and reviews. And to the guests, my beautiful guests, thank you!
Updates are definitely coming, slower than I'd initially thought though. If I was naming my chapters this would be called Crash and Burn, poor Em has finally fizzled out and will be transitioning slowly into her usual self. I am excited about the next chapter because I get to write about Cora's special friend some more. Yay.