1.) To commemorate the 30th chapter, I've decided to do a few things for you Berries, and one will be explained later. This has almost 2k words (~1800 to be exact), which is about two times the length of the usual chapters. Also, I'm releasing this early!

2.) The other special thing - which I'm hinting at in the title of the chappie - which I'm going to do is this: I'm combining both Keima's Side and Akihisa's Side into one chapter: a Keimakihisa Side chapter, if you will.

3.) Shout-out to finalsacre for giving me a plot device to use. Thanks!

Disclaimer still in effect.

Enjoy!

Chapter Thirty: Flag 04 – Keima, Akihisa, and Harem Hijinks

Keima Katsuragi

"Ugh..." moaned Keima Katsuragi, pressing a bag of ice to his head. The ice served to help assuage the pain that came with charred and swollen skin. Apparently, Kanon and Haqua had beat him pretty thoroughly, though the former seemed to regret it, with the sad look on her face.

"Sorry, Keima," said Kanon, her gentle gaze landing on on Keima's face, even if the purple from the bruises and the black from the taser mixed together to make a pretty grotesque complexion. The idol internally cringed. "We may have gone a little too far-"

"As if!" interjected an outraged Haqua, her hand still gripping her scythe. "This dastard deserved that and more! Just thinking about his insensitivity makes me want to have a round two, and I'm sick if it!" She lunged the butt of her scythe like a spear at Keima's gut with the force of a sledgehammer, making him double over. She then promptly left the poor gamer as a broken mess on the floor.

'Dang that hurt,' internally groaned Keima, rubbing his sore stomach. He decided to just leave the injuries to the surprisingly good regenerative ability of the body Keima was currently in, not that he lacked inhuman healing before. 'Reality needs to give me some more Defense points. Anyway, it seems that Haqua's tsun-tsun ability was activated by what Vulcan would call 'my unfaithful nature'. How will that wild card affect the current state of events...'

Akihisa Yoshii

"W-Why are you using a telescope?" asked Akihisa, bewildered by the giant telescope. Tsukiyo, shocked that Keima could lose his composure so quickly, quickly stood up, bringing Luna, and as a result, Vulcan, with her. Tsukiyo hoped that she looked presentable enough. The Goddess, on the other hand, had more malicious thoughts on her mind. 'Haha, finally, payback! Even if this isn't really Keima, rumor has it that he'll feel whatever this bozo feels in wherever he is. But then this innocent human's going to get hurt too... oh well. Sacrifice for the greater good.'

"Are you... contacting aliens!?" cried Akihisa, getting into a battle stance. He never knew when he would have to run away- ahem, tactically retreat from his so-called girlfriend. It wasn't just because she could be in cahoots with extra-terrestrial beings: the doll she was holding was emitting a strange black miasma, and Akihisa didn't like it one bit. He didn't like it any better when it started to float towards him. With a cry of "Flying doll!", Akihisa dashed away from Vulcan, using luck that wasn't normally on his person to dodge the flying knife, bench, and potted plant that went his way.

"Talking like that is most unbecoming of Tsukiyo's beloved!" chastised the Eldest and Wisest Goddess, who became more and more unworthy of her title as she flung lethal object after lethal object at Akihisa. Speaking of the boy, he had a sudden inspiration, and like how a RPG character suddenly gained a new skill after gaining enough experience, Akihisa remembered a skill from his past after enough pointy objects were flung his way.

"Tatami flip!" cried Akihisa, slamming his foot onto the edge of the tatami mat underneath the soles. The leverage caused the mat to stand up, blocking a gardening shear, a very sharp chopstick, and a guitar pick. Vulcan was shocked.

"Where did that tatami mat come from!?" asked the discombobulated Goddess. They were on the roof. There was no way that there would be a tatami mat on the roof, since school was closed and all. Akihisa, flicking his head as to remove the loose strands of hair, smirked and shrugged. He pointed a finger at a Goddess, his pose akin to a certain Ace Attorney's.

"Where did all those objects come from!?" retorted the Ultimate Idiot, putting his hands on his hips. Vulcan grit her teeth. She had been getting objects that she has stockpiled under the bench Tsukiyo was sitting at. There was no way that he would be able to get anything from it, much less a giant tatami mat, unless... "N-No way, you-"

Before Vulcan could say "-'re a Magical Girl in disguise ?", Akihisa took the initiative, pulling out the thing that gave him the tatami mat, and said "This magic pair of panties had a tatami mat inside!"

"...You are a gross pervert after all..." said the doll as more miasma leaked out of it. Akihisa's smirk didn't falter... till he finally figured out exactly what he was holding: panties. As Akihisa slowly lost consciousness, red droplets staining the garment with the moon motif, an old memory of his resurfaced:

"Deep beneath the skirt lies a man's romance, dreams, and hopes. There's not a moment of boredom!"

And Akihisa couldn't help but agree.

Keima Katsuragi

As Class F was having a lesson (or a gaming session, from Keima's perspective), a knock overshadowed the teacher's voice. With the said teacher's consent, the door was opened, revealing long, flowing waist-long violet hair, pretty features, a nice bust, a slim figure, and a cold expression with just a hint of sunshine.

Enter Shouko Kirishima.

"Haqua du Lot Herminium," said the former Yandere as the scythe-wielder's head snapped up. "Please transfer over to Class A: your laptop air-conditioner, fridge, recliner, and all other necessities have all been prepared. We are happy to welcome you to 2-A." The Class Representative was greeted with a lot of gasps from Class F: Haqua was one of the few girls in the sausage-fest called 2-F, and she was the only girl who seemed to dislike Akihisa in a romantic way. The loss of her meant the loss of the hopes and dreams of the men of 2-F.

"No need to be so formal, Shouko," said Haqua, her bag already packed. She looked to the teacher, who was salivating at the thought of teaching with a wide-screen plasma-screen instead of a chalk-less chalkboard. "I shall take my leave now." The pettanko followed the C-cup out of the classroom, leaving Keima to his thoughts. He seemed to be having internal monologues a lot, lately, huh.

'I didn't expect this, though I should've seen this coming,' said Keima, berating himself. 'When people transfer in, they are automatically put in Class F. Then, they can have a placement test to move to the class that best suits their intelligence. The only reason why she didn't transfer was because of me, so when I ticked her off too much, she had no reason to stay in a ghetto like this any longer. Hm, how to use this to my advantage...'

Akihisa Yoshii

After waking up (and after a lot of rushed apologies and painful beatings), Akihisa was given a little peace and quiet - which he really needed – by Tsukiyo Kujyou's side. Speaking about the orange-blonde selenomaniac, she was peering up at the Celestial Body which showered the both of them with its gentle light. Curious, Akihisa asked, "Is it fun?"

"What are you talking about?" asked the girl, removing her eye from the telescope to look at him to not look rude.

"Is it fun looking at the moon?" Normally, when people asked that, they meant it as an insult, so Tsukiyo would normally ignore it. The innocent look on his face lacked any trace of insult. It was pretty refreshing.

"Even if I enjoy it, it's an opinion based matter," said the seventeen year old, gesturing towards the telescope. "You'd have to try it yourself."

"Can I?" Before Tsukiyo could respond, the boy nabbed the telescope, and looked into it. He was greeted with the moon in all its glory. Slowly removing his eyes from the device, he smiled.

"The moon's pretty beautiful," said Akihisa, causing a blush to come over Tsukiyo's features.

'I-Is this what Keima meant when he said 'We will see the beautiful things in this world together'? And why do I feel so... giddy. I only felt this when HE jumped off that building to save me. Hmm...'

Before Tsukiyo could act on her giddiness, they interrupted by yet another person intruding into the vacated Mai-High academy. With a dark skin tone, silver-white hair, fiery red eyes, and an overall sleepy disposition, the intruder could only be one person.

"Imouto-san!" said Vulcan, who had Switched with Tsukiyo, Now that he was up close, Akihisa could notice that whenever the doll moved, Tsukiyo's body would freeze up like a statue. "What're you doing here!? Even if I don't approve of this miserable little pile of secrets, Tsukiyo need him for her happiness, so leave!"

"Sorry, but it's the legal wife's turn to enjoy the boy," said Mercury, stretching. Then she suddenly flipped over a bench that had suddenly lodged itself where Mercury had just been. Once that happened, Akihisa sprung to his feet and ran towards the conflict. He didn't want his friends hurt, especially since it would be all his fault if they did get injured.

"Wait! Let's talk this out, instead of fighting!" At those eight words, all physical conflict ceased, as Vulcan put down all the objects she was levitating and Mercury relaxed her muscles. The two Dieties looked at each other, their status as Sisters allowing them to communicate with each other telepathically. Once a silent agreement was reached, the two nodded their heads, saying, "Fine, let's share him."

What!?

Keima Katsuragi

At lunch, on the rooftop, Haqua's absence was felt, as an uncomfortable silence settled on the normally cheerful event. Keima conjectured that the scythe-wielder was absent because she was being introduced to the rest of the class, but he didn't want to tell them, and risk them confronting the wild card. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he continued to game in silence... till Elsie spoke up.

"Kami Nii-sama, why did Haqua leave us?" asked Elsie, somehow knowing that he had the answer. He was kind of startled by the unwavering faith that the buggy demon had for him, but chalked it up to her childish naïvety.

"She most probably left because I am 'mistreating' her. She'll get over it eventually," replied Keima, letting the three girls digest the information. Before Elsie could say something else, Keima continued. "And before you ask, no, I will not ask her directly to come back to us." He didn't really have the heart to say that Haqua would probably not come back to 2-F, since he knew that Fumizuki Academy didn't allow transfers unless it was recommended by the parents, the home-room teacher, the Head Teacher of the Batch, and the Principal herself. "It's not like there are no benefits to this. She can watch Yuuko Kinoshita closely, in case she Switches with Ares again."

"But-"

"Akihisa!" cried a familiar baritone voice. The doors to the roof flung open, a androgynous male and a pervert with a camera in the wake of a panicked Yuuji. Keima, pocketing his PFP, got up, a serious look on his face. "Class A declared War on us!"

Footnotes:

Ace Attorney: Reference to the Ace Attorney series

Selenomania: Obsession with the moon (at least according to this one site)

Miserable little pile of secrets: Reference to the game Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

4.) If you've enjoyed this chapter, please support the story by reviewing, subscribing, and adding it to your favorites.

5.) A thing I really want to know is if I blended the two correctly, so please add that to your review, if you are going to review.

Catch ya next time!