Disclaimer: I own nothing of Kim Possible.
Coloring Outside the Lines
By: Imyoshi
Weird
There is no such thing as a fearless hero.
Bravery can only exist because of fear and you can only become strong by overcoming the overwhelming feeling. But the concept of being fearless is nothing more than a deluded dream that can never be obtained. One can only grow stronger, but not invincible. It is however possible to mask your own fears, to cover them with something enjoyable, something to make all nightmares go away.
...
Kim Possible was the girl who claimed she could do anything, the very same hero who acted bold, confident, and overall fearless in the face of danger and everyday teenage life. At least in the outside she did. But, the hero girl was not always like that. She felt vulnerable, weak, and even scared at one point during the day and nobody knew it and she planned to keep it that way.
Her moment of doubt was ironically a simple child like terror—the dark. Kimberly Ann Possible was positively terrified of the eerie darkness that surrounded her during the night. It had only started recently, no longer than maybe a month, but already the fear had struck her deep within her core. At night, when all was silence was when her sharpen senses would betray her and pick up the small nooks and creaks throughout the house, maybe some shuffling and even the churn of her stairs creaking. Having to fight deranged mad men and craze mercenaries on a daily basis only forced her to assume the worst at any possible stutter of noise. In the dark she couldn't see them and even her mind told her they weren't there, but that didn't stop the noises from reaching her.
In ways it wasn't the dark that scared her but the illusions it created. Having to rely on your sense of sound in an abyss of darkness was not a spankin thing. It truly wasn't.
That's why at night she would curl up on her bed, hugging her legs and blanket tightly, hoping to drown out the terribly sounds. Only one thing made her sleep easy and thanks to a certain evil duo, she no longer had it. Burned away from a random attack, her precious Pandaroo was no more. The very Pandaroo she had since she was a little girl. The same one her mother had given her to drive away the monsters at night.
Oh sure, maybe a month ago Kim had thought a little stuff doll driving away monsters was downright silly. She had only kept the small plushy caused it helped her sleep as a child and couldn't find a reason to get rid of it. Little had she known was that her mother had given it to her to not drive away the monsters, but instead calm her of her night terrors.
It was amusing during the first night without her little Pandaroo. She was just getting use to not having a small cuddle buddy to hug when it all started. The night terrors.
At first her hero mode kicked in and she leapt out of bed preparing for the worst, but the worst never came. It never did.
Stunned and confused, Kim had slept uneasy that first night, hoping it was nothing big, but then came the second night. It started out the same – a creak there and maybe some shifting shadow as well. Then a quick battle stance later and sole silence after and yet no enemy in sight for Kim. Eventually she started to find it even harder to fall asleep each passing night. Let alone fall into a peaceful sleep.
At first Kim wasn't use to not having her full eight hours, but in time it became a habit to sleep less and less. Her family and friends never saw it for she simply forced herself to look awake and not dead to the world. Sometimes Ron would stare at her but say nothing, she figured her was just day dreaming. It majorly sounded like something her goofy best friend would do.
Not only did she hide from her friends and family, but also the villain community as well. Through sheer effort Kim defeated the bad guys. Her strategy was simply to get Ron to be far more active in their destruction. Asking (begging) him to distract the main baddies and somehow destroy the villain's lair in the process while she took care of the henchmen made the blond think. He never did say anything about her sudden request and he acted more foolishly in front of the villains at her expense.
But he would still stare at her when she thought he wasn't looking, taking mental notes of her sluggish movements and her so well timed thought-out yawns.
Still, Ron never called her out on it. And for good reasons.
Kim couldn't – hadn't – wouldn't tell anyone she was afraid. Her pride was too big for her to ask for help. People looked up to her, thinking she was the fearless hero that she once was. So instead, she kept fighting against the darkness, hoping it would just pass on and leave her alone.
However, it kept going on each night, only fueling her active scared imagination. Sometimes at night she would shiver in the warm air just wishing that maybe it was Monkey Fist or Shego trying to attack her so she could put her imagination to rest. But they never attacked because they were never there, never lurking in the shadows, at least, not in the real world, but in the recesses of her terror filled mind.
And tonight was no different.
Curled up and hugging her blankets tightly, Kim tried desperately to drown out creaks. Her eye lids almost hurt from the force she forced on them and her toes couldn't curl anymore.
Creak!
Her body involuntary shivered, her lip quivered, and she hid her face deep in the blanket.
Creak!
A small whimper escaped her lips.
Creak!
"Kimberly?"
Caught off guard at the sound of a familiar voice, Kim tumbled out of bed, falling, and getting tangled up in her bed sheets.
Footsteps swiftly made their way to the fallen hero, quickly checking upon her daughter.
"Kimberly!" Ann lifted off her tangled daughter off the floor after seeing her fall from entering her room, holding her by the forearm. "Are you ok sweetie?"
Kim sheepishly rubbed her ruffled mane, feeling her heart pound ferociously against her chest. "Yea mom... you just... scared me."
Ann watched the way her daughter force that small smile. Even in the darkness she could make out the heavy bags beneath her eyes and could feel her skin have goose bumps on this extremely warm night. Letting her go, Ann decided to not to dwell too much on the matter. Besides, she came up here for a different reason.
"Kimberly?"
"Yes mom?" she asked.
"Sorry that I scared you." Kim tried to smile even more and Ann sighed beneath her breath. "I just came to give you something that Ron dropped off for you this afternoon. I just now remembered it now though... sorry."
Ron got her something? That small bit of news made the smile genuine and not fake.
"It's fine mom." Kim's eyes drooped. "So what did Ron bring me?"
It was Ann's turn to smile. Sitting Kim on her bed, she quickly left her room to come back with a small plushy that was a combination of a Monkey and Raccoon. It had the body of a rich caramel Monkey but mask, ears, and tail of a grayish and black Raccoon.
"Mom?" Kim asked. "What is that?"
Ann placed the doll in front of her daughter, handing it to her reluctant hands. "It's a Monkcoon; half monkey and half raccoon. Ron decided to get for you when he remembered your Pandaroo was burnt. Isn't it adorable?!"
Kim looked away from the plushy in her hands to stare hard at her mom. "It's something, but I'm not sure adorable would be the right word? Weird maybe, but not adorable."
Ann pouted, "Well I thought it was adorable."
Kim ignored her mom and looked back at the half doll. "And your saying Ron got this for me?"
Ann nodded and got up from the bed. "Yes... and say what you want, I thought it was sweet." She head straight for the trapdoor, "Well good night Kimmie." Upon traveling down the steps Ann smiled a ghost of a smile knowing the small familiar child like whimpers she heard at night would most likely cease.
Kim called out to her mom about to close the trapdoor, "G'night!"
After her mom left Kim expected the small doll, studying it's features a bit closer. The legs on the Monkcoon were crisscrossed, its small striped hands formed a clapping appearance, and the funny smile with the black mask around the edge of its eyes twinkled an essence of mischief beneath them.
Her eyebrows rose at it.
"This thing is weird." Kim judged, plopping the plushy beside her night stand.
Tired and wanting to at least try to get some sleep, Kim crawled back into her bed, already hugging her pillow close to her chest. Within moments of trying to get to sleep the eerie creaks started. Her room seemed to grow bigger and the shifting shadows on the wall menacingly changed in size.
After minutes of unsuccessful sleep, Kim opened her sore reddish eyes to see the plushy still on her stand. Funny, the shadows on it didn't change even if it was half raccoon. No movements coming from it or sounds or anything. It just sat there on her nightstand all peaceful. At the sight of it's simple presence, Kim's thoughts drifted back to her Pandaroo. That small black and white plushy always seemed to make her sleep better, maybe this one could too?
She halfheartedly grabbed the 'adorable' plushy, slowly hovering it above her tired face. It stared at her with that devious yet heart warming smile. In return a small smile formed at the thought of Ron buying her a new cuddle buddy, one she never seen before either. It was a sweet gesture on his part and made the plushy all the more precious.
Sighing to herself, Kim reluctantly hugged it to her chest, wrapping it around her arms and gently applying more and more effort in her hold. In the back of her mind she felt like she just back stabbed her Pandaroo, knowing fully that nothing could ever replace her special Pandaroo that will always have a permanent place in her heart.
Upon holding the plushy, Kim inwardly knew she wasn't trying to replace her Pandaroo, and she would never forget all the good times she had with it, but having a soft plushy pressed up against her chest made her mind fall into a small ease.
Slowly the haunting sounds around her seemed to just suddenly vanish and the shadows around her stopped moving, blending back into the background. Her body warmed and a small tug on her lips formed as she began to snuggle closer to the makeshift gift, breathing a sigh of content.
Kim's eyes grew heavier and the beating in her chest settled.
"You're still weird." Kim lazily smiled into its adorable fur and having her worries slowly drowned out by the tenderness of her snoring.
Squeezing Monkcoon closer, the small plushy was indeed weird. And apparently Kim had forgotten one of her better traits.
She liked weird.
...
A/N: No one is fearless. Unless of course if you have your plushy.