Hey Everyone! Please make sure you read the first half of this chapter listed as Chapter 4 Part 1. I published them both at the same time. Thank-you for reading and reviewing.
"Good! You can start making things up to me by buying me lunch today. Finish your coffee partner and then come on. We are going out for a while. I'm driving."
Thirty minutes later Andy pulled into the parking lot in front of "Ted's Restaurant" on Old Kingston Rd. in Scarborough. A small iconic diner style establishment on the border between Scarborough and Pickering.
"How come you brought us all the way out to the east end for lunch? I mean there are lots of places closer to where we live."
"This place has been here since my dad was a child. It's changed hands a few times but the atmosphere and food quality has always stayed the same. My dad use to bring me here sometimes for breakfast." Andy said as she and Nick entered the diner and sat down at one of the booths.
"Did you feel like reminiscing today or something?"
"Or something...friends of my dad's own a cottage in the Kawartha Lakes area. A couple of times every summer they use to invite the two of us for a few days to visit. We always stopped here in the morning for breakfast on our way up."
"What do you recommend?"
"Breakfast...they're noted for it."
"Okay...I'll have a coffee and the pancakes." Nick said to the waitress.
"I'll have the three eggs over easy, back bacon, hash browns, whole wheat toast and coffee please."
"Whoa! Andy! I take it you're starving."
"Yea, I don't know why. I had a bowl of cereal this morning while I was waiting for you to wake up. I was really hungry yesterday too."
"How are you feeling now that you have had some food?" Andy asked as the two left the restaurant.
"Slowly improving."
"Good! Cause I want to go somewhere before we head home." Andy stated as she slipped into the drivers seat.
Fifteen minutes later she pulled the car into a parking space along Liverpool Rd. near Frenchman's Bay in Pickering.
Nick smiled to himself when he realized where Andy had brought them.
"So this is what "or something" was all about. I'm in trouble."
"Come on let's go get an ice-cream cone."
"Andy, you just ate a huge breakfast. How do you have room for dessert?"
"I don't know. I feel like having a cone and we were really close to here. I thought it would be fun to come down. Besides, Sheena had to sit in your car all by herself the entire time we were at Ted's eating lunch. This is a great place to take her for a walk."
"You do know it is November? It's off-season. I don't think the ice-cream stand is open."
"Probably not but, there's a new business here called "Edible Arts Cakery" and they have ice-cream. Let's go!" Andy replied as she exited Nick's car.
"Oh and by the way, I do know it is November but, it is 15 C and the sun is shining. Come on!"
"I know the sun is shining." Nick thought as he adjusted his sun glasses on his nose.
A few minutes later Nick and Andy strolled down to the boardwalk.
"How's your cone?" Nick asked.
"It's really good. I can't believe you didn't order anything."
"I'm not sure my stomach can handle ice-cream. It's doing fine with the pancakes and coffee. I don't want to push things."
"I think after our walk I would like to come back and sit on our favourite bench." Andy stated.
"Sounds good."
A half hour later the partners took their seats on "their" bench.
Andy glanced over at Nick.
"Okay, time to try to get him to talk."
"A penny for your thoughts."
"Isn't that my line?"
"Usually but, we're reversing roles today." Andy said smiling.
"Soooo...a penny for your thoughts. What happened to you yesterday?"
"It...um...it just wasn't a good day. You know...?"
"Okay! I'm going to put something out there and you let me know if I'm on the right track."
Nick stared at Andy uncomfortably for a moment.
"Shane Butler." She said quietly.
Nick looked stunned for a moment. He gazed out on the gentle wavy blue waters of Lake Ontario, licked his lips and sucked in a deep breath.
"How...how...how did you...how did you figure it out?"
"I know your not someone who usually drinks as much as you...apparently did last night. You're a one or two pint type of guy. I figured you were drinking last night for a reason. Maybe it was to forget."
"We know each other too well." Nick sighed.
"Everything started to "click" with me when I picked up this mornings paper and saw the date. You keep...telling me that our lives parallel. When I saw the date...I...the second anniversary of Jerry's death was a month ago and the seventeenth anniversary of the day my mother left me was two weeks ago. That's when I remembered you did this "drunken thing" to me one other time."
"I did?"
"Hmm hmm...right around this time of year. Two years ago today you showed up at work ready to start your shift completely plastered."
"Oh..that day."
"I snuck you into one of the interview rooms for a while. I used your cell phone to text Frank that you were sick. I managed to get some coffee and one of Diaz's muffins into you and then got you into a cab and sent home before anyone spotted you drunk at the station" Andy said looking at Nick and giving him a small smile.
"You saved me job and my career. I don't know what I was thinking that morning. I should have booked the day off ahead of time."
"That would have been an idea."
"Later that evening you told me it was all over your friend Shane Butler from the military." Andy said while looking over at her partner.
"I don't know why our lives parallel Andy, but they really do. Today is the fifth anniversary of his death." Nick said quietly looking out on the waters of Lake Ontario.
"Tell me about him." Andy quietly asked Nick after a few moments of silence.
Nick turned his head and glanced at Andy a moment before once again gazing at the waters of the Great Lake.
"We met the first day we both arrived for boot camp at Camp Petawawa. He was assigned the bunk beside me in the barracks. Our backgrounds were similar. We both grew up lower middle class. We both joined the military for the same reason. Our families couldn't afford to send us to college. The military is a great way to get educated for free. The other option was to work dead-end jobs for the rest of our lives. Our interests and personalities were similar. The two of us liked playing sports and winning. We both enjoyed reading the same type of books, watching the same TV shows, driving jeeps and chasing girls. We became great friends really quickly."
"Sounds like he was a perfect friend for you."
"He was the first person I really ever trusted to have my back in any situation. I mean as an adult. I guess when I was young I trusted my parents to protect me and look after me but, as an adult he was the first person. There were only a couple of differences between us. I stayed in the military to try to forget about Gail. He stayed in the military to try to escape dominating, overbearing, controlling parents. I tend to chase blonds. He loved brunettes. He would have loved you Andy." Nick said with a small smile as he reminisced a moment.
"Tell me more." Andy said with an equally small smile.
"We were into the back half of our fourth tour of Afghanistan. I was scheduled to go out on patrol one evening with three other guys. Shane was to have the night off. The thing was I was having stomach cramps the entire day. Our CO...you couldn't hide anything from that guy. He knew something was wrong and ordered me to go and get checked out by the medical team. Turned out there were a few soldiers with the same symptoms. It was some type of food poisoning. The doctor took me off active duty for a couple of days. Our CO asked for a volunteer to take my place on patrol that night. Shane didn't even think twice about covering."
Nick's smile was gone. He sat expressionless watching the water as a deep sadness began to wash across his eyes.
"Talk to me Nick. Tell me more." Andy said quietly and calmly.
"The...um...the vehicle they were driving...the road was to have been cleared...it was deemed earlier in the day cleared. They drove over an IED and...and blew up. Shane didn't...he was killed. It should have been me in that vehicle." Nick choked.
"You don't know...Nick...if you were in the vehicle it may never have driven over that IED. There could have been a totally different scenario."
Nick rested his head on Andy's shoulder and closed his eyes trying to control the growing lump in his throat and the tears forming in his eyes.
"I'm here Nick. Shhh..." Andy whispered as she put her arm around his shoulders.
Minutes passed before Nick lifted his head and looked at Andy.
"I'm sorry." He whispered.
"Don't be. Were you allowed to come back to Canada for the funeral?"
"No...There was a small service held at the base in Afghanistan before his body was flown back to his family in Canada. I attended but everything was so formal and cold. I came away feeling numb. I guess it's hard to feel or express anything in that type of atmosphere.
"Do you know where he's buried?"
"He grew up in Peterborough. His family buried him in a cemetery there next to his grandparents."
"Have you ever been to see him? Since you came home from Afghanistan?"
Nick shook his head. "He's resting at the Highland Park Cemetery. I tried to go a couple of times but I never made it. Half way there I turned around and went home and poured myself a drink."
Andy gently removed her arm from around Nick's shoulders.
"It's a beautiful day." She said quietly as she placed Nick's hand in hers and entwined their fingers.
"I mean it's unseasonably warm, the sun is shining, the sky is cerulean blue and the breeze is refreshing."
Nick gazed out over the waters of Lake Ontario and took a deep breath. "It is nice down here today."
"You know what else would be nice to do today?"
"Eat another ice-cream cone?"
Andy smiled. "It's a nice day to go for a drive."
"Andy..." Nick whispered.
"Peterborough is just over an hour away."
"Andy..."
"Nick...you have never said good-bye to Shane properly. You have never made peace with him or yourself."
"I don't think I can do it...I mean see his grave. See him there. I don't even know what to say to him."
"You will know what to say when you get there. You won't not be alone. I'll be there."
Nick sat silent for a few minutes staring out at the waters of Lake Ontario. Slowly he turned and faced Andy and nodded his head.
Andy gave him a small smile, let go of his hand, took hold of Sheena's leash and stood up. "Come on...let's go for a drive."
An hour and a half later Andy and Nick drove into the parking lot of the Highland Park Cemetery in Peterborough.
"Do you know where his grave site's located?" Andy asked quietly as she opened the driver's side door and slipped out of Nick's car.
Nick stared out the front window a moment before slowly exiting his car and looking at Andy. "No." He whispered.
"We can ask at the office." She stated.
Fifteen minutes later the partners approached Shane's grave.
"He's just over there. You should go the rest of the way yourself."
Nick glanced towards Shane's grave. "I...I don't think I...What do I say?"
"You say what is in here." Andy replied softly as she placed her hand over Nick's heart.
"I'll wait right here."
Nick looked towards his friend's final resting place and took a deep breath.
"Go Nick...you'll be fine." Andy said softly as she handed him the small bouquet of flowers they bought just before arriving at the cemetery.
Nick nodded his head at Andy before turning around and slowly walking to Shane's grave.
Andy watched as he kneeled down to carefully place the flowers against the headstone and then gently run his fingers over the engraved words. It was late afternoon and the sun that had shone all day was beginning to slip towards the horizon. Except for the gentle blowing breeze, rustling the last few colourful fall leaves on the trees and an odd bird chirping the cemetery was quiet. The few other visitors scattered throughout the cemetery silently paid their respects to family and friends. Andy wrapped her white waterfall sweater around her body and folded her arms around her front as she watched Nick speak to Shane. A few minutes later he slowly stood up and walked towards Andy.
When he approached she wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a hug. Nick placed his arms around her waist grateful for the gesture. His body was trembling. He felt cold and the warmth he felt from her was welcoming. How long they stayed in the embrace is something lost to the universe. Time seemed to stand still for the two partners.
"Are you okay?" Andy asked when the pair parted.
"I think...I don't...I...I mean...I talked him...I feel..." Nick choked as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
"Take some time and calm down. We're not in a rush." Andy said quietly as the two partners simultaneously realized their surroundings had suddenly become eerily still and quiet. There was no breeze, no rustling of leaves, no birds and no other visitors at the cemetery except for them and the soldier in full military dress uniform approaching Shane's grave.
"Nick...Nick...behind you. Do you know him?" Andy questioned softly.
Nick turned his head. A second later he looked back at Andy and then turned his head towards Shane's grave and then back at Andy. "Can...can...you see him?"
"I can see him." She replied nodding.
"Andy...it's...it's...Shane...but..."
"Nick...shhh." Andy whispered as she cupped his cheek with her hand. "It's him. Feel our surroundings. It's eerie. Everything is still and all the other visitors have left. It's him. He's been allowed to come back to see you for a reason. Go talk to him Nick. Hear what he has to say. Make peace with him and yourself. I'll be here."
"Come...come with me." Nick said in a quiet trembling voice.
"No." Andy said quietly as she shook her head. "This is something you have to do on your own. He came back to see you...not me. You'll be fine. I'll be here."
Nick took a deep breath and for a second time today slowly approached Shane's grave.
"I was wondering if you were ever going to make it here."
"Shane...is...is that you?" Nick asked in a quiet quivering voice.
"It's me Nick."
"Shane...I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry it was you and not me." He choked.
"I heard everything you said a few minutes ago. Nick, I need you to let go of the guilt. This wasn't your fault. It wouldn't have mattered if you went on that patrol and I stayed at base camp. It was just my time. If I hadn't passed in that explosion, then something else would have happened that night. It was my time. It wasn't your time."
"It was me who was scheduled for patrol duty that night...I should..."
"You would have come back to base camp fine. I still would have passed. It would just have been due to another incident. It wasn't your fault. I don't want you to live the rest of your life holding on to the guilt you feel. Let it go Nick. I never blamed you for my passing."
"I miss you Shane."
"I know and when you do think of the antics we use to get up to and smile."
"We did have some good times." Nick said with a hint of a smile.
"That we did. I'm not gone Nick. I live on in your memories and your heart."
Nick nodded.
"I'm happy Nick. I'm in a beautiful place. Let go of your guilt. Live your life in peace. Live it for both of us."
Shane looked toward Andy. "She's a good friend."
"Her name's Andy."
"I know. You told me about her when you were speaking to me earlier. You're a cop now. She's your partner."
"You really did hear everything." Nick replied as he felt the lump in his throat shrink.
"I did. You weren't completely honest about her though. She's more than just a partner. Be honest with yourself."
"She's not my girlfriend. I reconnected with Gail. I'm back with her."
"That's not what I meant. I know she is your partner. She is also your best friend and confident. You're in love with Gail but, Andy is the one you confide in when you have a problem. The same way she does with you when she has an issue. The two of you can talk to each other, at times, better than you can to your mates. She is the only person, besides me, you have ever truly trusted to have your back. Nick...you and her have a special friendship that will last a lifetime. She's my replacement in your life."
Nick glanced towards Andy. "I guess she has taken over your role in my life. I never realized it until now.
"She's starting to get hungry. You should buy her a nice dinner. On your way back to Toronto, pull off the highway at Ajax and take Kingston Rd. towards Pickering Village. There's a great restaurant along the south side of the street. You'll know it when you see the name. The place is a little expensive but their food is amazing and healthy. She really should eat properly. Especially now."
"I'll find the place."
"Let go of the guilt and live a great life Nick. Live it for both of us."
"I will."
"I don't have much more time. I'm being called back."
"Will I see you again?"
"I don't know. Probably not."
"Is there anything I can do for you Shane? I mean other than..."
"Actually, there is one thing. When you meet my namesake...tell him about me." Shane said smiling.
Nick looked at his friend questioningly momentarily with his brow scrunched and his eyes narrowed slightly.
"You'll understand when the time comes. Good-bye Ni-Co." Shane said as he stood tall and raised his arm to salute.
"Good-bye my friend." Nick replied softly as he raised his arm and saluted.
A moment later Nick watched with tears brimming in his eyes as Shane vanished.
Nick remained perfectly still in a saluting position for a few more moments.
Slowly he lowered his arm, took a deep breath, closed his eyes and gazed upwards. A breeze brushed across his face as a bird chirpped and the leaves rustled. Shane was gone. When he opened his eyes he felt relief begin to flood threw him. He was being set free. With tears spilling from his eyes he walked away from the grave to meet his partner. He wrapped his arms around her, buried his head in her shoulder and openly wept. Andy encircled her arms around his neck and gently rubbed her hand up and down his back as he shed the last remnants of guilt from his soul.
When he finally settled and pulled away slightly Andy cupped his face and wiped away the moisture on his cheeks from tears with the pads of her thumbs.
"Are you okay?" She asked softly.
"It wasn't my fault. He doesn't blame me."
"You made peace with him. You made peace with yourself." Andy said quietly with a soft smile.
Nick nodded.
"It's been a long day Andy."
"Would you like to go home?"
Nick nodded as the partners began to walk away.
"I think.. I think...before we go home...there's a great place on the way back to the city. I've heard their food is amazing. I think I would like to take you there for dinner. It's my treat." Nick said smiling softly as he glanced back at Shane's grave a moment before linking arms with Andy.
"Actually, I am kind of getting hungry. Okay! Sure...I'll go for dinner."
It was 9:30 at night when Nick pulled into a parking spot in front of Andy's condo building.
"Okay partner, I'll help you walk Sheena and then I'll make sure the two of you get inside safe and sound before heading home."
Andy looked at him a moment before slipping out of the front passenger side door.
"Don't worry partner. I'm fine. I'm going straight home to bed."
Andy smiled as Sheena, Nick and she began to stroll down the street.
One hour later.
"I wonder if your "daddy" is going to call tonight." Andy said to Sheena as the two of them sat on the sofa. "It's already 10:30. Maybe the lawyers have him busy preparing for court tomorrow."
A few minutes later Sheena bounced off of the sofa and stood at the front door wagging her tail frantically.
"What is it girl?" Andy asked as she heard a small rap on her door.
Andy peeked through the security spy hole and quickly unlocked and threw open her door.
"SAMMM! Your back!" Andy exclaimed excitedly as she threw her arms around his neck."
"Yea!"
"I thought you were not coming back until tomorrow evening. Sheena and I have had the net book all set up with Skype for the last 40 minutes waiting for your call."
"The trial should have taken two or three days but after the prosecution called their first four witnesses today the defendant decided to change his plea to guilty and throw himself on the mercy of the court. It was a smart move. The evidence was overwhelming." Sam said as wrapped his arms around Andy and closed the front door with his foot.
"Gail and I went back to the hotel after the trial. We did have rooms booked for two more days. I took a shower, changed my clothes and was going to see if Gail wanted to get some dinner when she knocked on my door. She wanted to know how I felt about driving back to Toronto tonight instead of tomorrow morning."
"I didn't have to think twice." Sam said smiling.
"We stopped for some dinner just outside Ottawa. She made me stop again at a Tim Horton's somewhere outside of Kingston. Apparently she needed to use the washroom and get something else to eat. I don't know how she could have been hungry. Anyways, I stopped. I just dropped her off at her parents. I had to wake her up. She fell asleep just as we were passing through Cobourg." He said as he locked the front door before leading his spaghetti strapped mint green tank top and green, pink and white plaid booty short clad girlfriend over to the sofa to sit down.
"I'm glad your here." Andy replied as she moved to straddle him with her legs and wrap her arms around his neck.
"How was your day princess?"
"Ohhh...it was interesting."
"Oh really!"
"Sheena and my day started at 3:00 a.m. this morning." She replied as she placed a trail of soft kisses along his jaw line.
"What? Why? Did the fire alarm go off or something?"
"Or something. Liam, the bartender at "The Penny", showed up with an extremely drunk Nick. I swear they were ringing my entrance buzzer non stop."
"Why did Liam bring him here? What was Collins' issue? Don't tell me he was having a problem with Peck and I going to Ottawa together? I'm going to have to talk to him and Liam."
"Don't worry...Sheena gave them both a good growling. She was not impressed."
"Alright Sheena! You taking good care of "mommy" while I'm away?" Sam said smiling at the dog while enjoying his girlfriends kisses.
"Don't be too hard on either of them. Liam was in a bad situation. Nick wasn't exactly being co-operative. He would only give Liam my address. Liam exhausted every option before breaking down and bringing Nick here."
"What was with Collins?"
"You know what you are like on the anniversary of Jerry's death. How you feel."
"Yea...yea I do."
"Today was the anniversary of the death of Nick's friend in the military. You have Oliver for support. The two of you take the day off and visit Jerry together. Then you both go to a pub for a drink in his honour and to reminisce. Oliver and you have each other to share your loss. Nick doesn't have that support." Andy said quietly as she tenderly stroked his cheek.
"I guess he didn't want to go home and deal with everything alone." Sam sighed as he draw patterns on her bare legs with his hands.
"I managed to get him to talk this afternoon. I surprised myself. I mean, I'm not really the best person when it comes to communication. I talk it's just that my talking is chatter and I needed to get him to actually talk. It's just..."
"McNally!"
"McNally!" Sam said smiling.
"Yea!"
"Did he work through everything?"
"He is...he's in a better place."
"I may still have a talk with him but, I promise I won't be too hard."
"He did buy me lunch today and dinner." Andy said as she absent-mindedly began to undo the buttons on Sam's shirt.
"I would expect nothing less." Sam said smiling.
"He took me for dinner at this great restaurant called "Safari". We should go sometime."
"Sure...we can go."
"I missed you last night Princess."
"I missed you too Sam."
"I moved Sheena's basket into the bedroom last night. I couldn't get to sleep. I thought if she was near by and I could listen to her breathing I would fall asleep."
"You sure you don't want to move in together?" Sam said as he began to move Andy's tank top up exposing the smooth skin of her mid drift.
"I've thought more about it but, I want to keep my own place."
"Okay...I'm fine with the way things are right now." Sam said smiling as he lifted her tank top over her head, and in one swift move flipped her on to her back and brought his lips down on to hers.
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