True Confessions of Desperate Teenage Boys Chapter 4: The Second Incident, a kuroko no basuke/黒子のバスケ fanfic

Don't own it.

Chapter 4: The Second Incident - Takao's Party

Takao's houseparty was in full swing, and he could have asked for nothing more. The guests had all arrived, the punch was liberally spiked, pizza was in abundance, and the Three Musketeers of Seirin - Furihata, Kawahara, and Fukuda - had even set up an iPod and portable speakers to provide an impromptu dance floor in Takao's living room. Best of all, the Secret Plan of Epic Proportions was well underway, and unless something went very badly, Takao suspected it would be his masterwork for the entire year.

S.P.E.P had begun when Shin-chan had called him a few weeks back, after a classified conversation with Seirin's phantom. The call had boiled down to this: deep down in his tsundere little heart (bless him) he wanted Kuroko and Kagami to have a happy ending. Never mind that they were men, in Japan, and that happy endings came rarely for even those with socially acceptable sexual leanings. Still, Takao liked challenges, and liked it when Shin-chan was being sweet even more. And this was a noble cause. Now, to ensure that his cohort was in position-

"...if you can give me shit about my magazines, I sure as hell should be able to give you shit about this, Satsuki."

"This is not the same thing at all, Dai-chan. This is true love. Your magazines are just raunchy."

Takao's head whipped around in time to see Aomine's smirk. "Shows what you know. Unless that's the voice of secret experience talking. Been peeking in my mags, Satsuki?"

Takao was less interested in Momoi's response than who or what was truly in love. He didn't need the hawkeye to figure it out, however. Hyuuga and Aida were swaying in the middle of his living room, drunk as lords. Edging closer to the Touou twosome was Kiyoshi Teppei, who watched proudly, snapping occasional cell phone pictures. At his side was Ootsubo, oddly enough, who sniffed freely, clearly overcome. "They're just so sweet."

Kiyoshi threw an arm over his shoulder, and Takao wondered when on earth they'd become friends. It very likely had been over the punch bowl, several minutes ago. "I've been waiting for this moment for so long. Enjoy it with me, my new friend. Bask in the glory of adolescent amour. Oh, and look! Hyuuga found his balls!"

Hyuuga had indeed. He had paused in his uncoordinated swaying to lean down and nuzzle Aida's lips with his nose, eventually replacing them with his mouth. True love proceeded in full splendor as Seirin's coach and captain began making out in Takao's house, to the dulcet tones of Elton John.

Caaaaaaaan you feeeeeeel the loooove toniiiiiiight-

For a long moment all spectators appreciated the spectacle in silence, and at the iPod Furihata had what appeared to be an epileptic seizure or a religious experience of sheer joy. Then, Aomine broke the silence with a disgruntled look. "Is that all? He's not even touching her tits."

Satsuki looked up, thoroughly investigating the heavens. "That's it, Dai-chan. I am getting some romance into you even if it kills you. Or me. Kills us both." She took his face within her hands and pointed them in the direction of the new couple. "Watch them. Feel the love."

"I'm about to feel the backside of your head as I smack it, woman-"

Kiyoshi pressed a hand to his heart, ignoring the young people on his other side. "Oh, Hyuuga. Your form is so sloppy! Although that could be the amount of liquor I pushed on him...wait! Is that…? Do I see tongue?"

Takao's former center burst out into tears. "It's just...so...beautiful!"

"Banzaiiii! Hyuuga's become a man! A tongue-man, no less! Look at them go!"

"Huh. Now that's more like it. Who knew four-eyes had it in him?"

"Hopeless, Dai-chan. You are hopeless."

Kiyoshi wiped away a fake tear. "What a bold new era for Seirin. And they usher it in so fearlessly! Overall, I'd rate them an 8/10. What do you say, brother Ootsubo?"

Ootsubo, who must be absolutely shitfaced to continue with such a farce, gurgled in reply. "8.5. The performance was just so moving."

"Pink Ranger?"

Satsuki watched her rival critically. "7. He's a bit sloppy, but I feel as if her passion is not quite equal to his. Still. Worth watching."

"As expected of the master data analyst. Blue Ranger?"

Aomine threw his most displeased look over at Kiyoshi. "Blue Ranger? I'm not the fuc-"

"Dai-chan." Satsuki elbowed him in the side, and he winced theatrically. He then grabbed both her hands so she would not proceed to slap him silly.

"Stop squirming, woman. I'm taking your true love seriously, calm down. I'd give it a 4. No naughty bits are showing, she's flat as a board, glasses aren't my kink, and for gods' sake the song is on repeat. Other than that it's going pretty well."

"Brutally honest as always, Blue Ranger-"

Smirking, Takao turned away. Amusing as that diversion had been, he had nearly gotten sidetracked. And if he didn't keep his nose to the grindstone, S.P.E.P. would be going nowhere. He blamed his compadre, personally. Although Kagami was a tiger on the court (and where was the eagle man, he'd enjoy that) the man was a veritable lamb off of it, and although Takao had assured him over and over again that this was the only way he was going to get into Kuroko's pants (and there was much rejoicing) the man was still balking. It's not honest, he whined, and Kuroko's going to kill us all when he figures out what we did.

No, Kagami was by no means the ideal accessory to a night of mischief. But the request had come from Captain Shin-chan, and there was no ignoring that. Takao would simply rely on his own formidable skills to ensure that the night went off without a hitch, and that Kuroko and Shin-chan never learned that they were being manipulated.

And there he was, right on time - Kagami shuffled awkwardly outside the guest room, the one with the fussy doorknob that locked only on the outside. He caught his gaze and after a firm nod, Kagami reluctantly turned and entered the room. Now to enact the second step of the plan...Takao sighted Kuroko hanging on the fringes of the crowd all watching Hyuuga and Aida go at it, and approached him quietly. After taking a moment to make sure Midorima was still in the kitchen (serving drinks, the darling) he leaned over and murmured in Kuroko's ear. "Hey. Kagami needs some help - something about Himuro texting him? I don't know what the deal is... he's definitely looking for you, though."

The only indication that Kuroko cared at all was the faint hardening at the corners of his eyes. Had Takao's own eyesight been less than supernaturally excellent, he would have missed it. "I see. Do you know where he is, Takao-kun?"

Takao jerked his thumb in the direction of the guest room, just as Kagami closed it. "Guest room." He winked. "Want me to stand guard?"

"...There is no need for that, Takao-kun. Thank you for alerting me." With that, Kuroko was gone. Takao frowned. His misdirection must be getting stronger, if he was able to pull a fast one on him like that…

Yet that was neither here nor there. His part in S.P.E.P. was just about done, and now, all relied on Kagami. There was nothing left to do other than to tease his beloved Princess Shin-chan…and if he was very lucky, trick him into imbibing in a drink or two.

…

Kagami leaned back against the western-style bed of Takao's guest room, wondering what in god's name was wrong with him. He had known as soon as Takao had outlined his plan that nothing good could come of this. Yet here he was, loitering in a dark room, waiting for Kuroko to come through the door and bust his chops for...well, whatever Takao told Kuroko that he was doing. Clearly, he wasn't doing it. Just as clearly, he was hopeless.

The plan was simple when Takao had explained it. This was Kagami's chance to seduce Kuroko, and that Kagami should be a master at this now that he'd had the most attractive man in their group of friends publically come onto him. That there was a distinct difference between Tatsuya screwing around and confessing to someone he actually liked seemed to escape Takao, yet it was tying Kagami's stomach up in knots. Most importantly, he had no idea how to seduce anyone. His current track record was to sit on the couch, and ask Ahomine what was wrong with eating burgers every day. Somehow, he didn't think that was going to work on Kuroko-

The door opened, throwing him into a mental panic. He could feel the blush in his ears and thanked god that the lights were off.

"Kagami-kun?"

It took him three tries to get sound out. "Ah. Yeah. Hey. Kuroko. Thanks for uh. Thanks for coming."

Kuroko fumbled for the lightswitch and frowned when the lights did not come on. The door swung shut behind him and Kagami swallowed thickly, hoping Kuroko wouldn't hear. His partner couldn't possibly suspect that Takao had removed the lightbulbs earlier, in accordance to the Epic Plan he kept going on about, nor that he had just locked the door behind him. "Ah, yeah. I think the bulb's gone out." Now god help him. "Um, so-"

"Hold on a minute, Kagami-kun. I think I hear someone outside." Kuroko turned back to the door and attempted to turn the handle, and Kagami could practically see his annoyed expression when the handle did not turn. From the sound of it, he was jimmying the doorknob ineffectually. "Kagami-kun? Does this door lock automatically?"

Kagami shrugged, feeling like a two-bit actor in the school play. "Ahh...maybe?"

"From the outside?"

"Look, it's not my house, I don't know!"

Kuroko turned back to him, and the porch lights streamed through the window, giving off just enough light for Kagami to see his disgruntled expression. God. He was so friggin' cute. "Look. I'll call Takao or something in a minute, but in the meantime, can I- well, I need- agh. I can't do this."

Kuroko took a step closer to him, so that he stood directly in the shaft of porch light. "Takao informed me that you needed help with Himuro-san and his text messages. Just tell me what you need me to do, and it will be done. I told you that you could rely on me, and I mean it, Kagami-kun. I would be a poor shadow if I did not."

Kagami's mouth went dry, and his heart started thundering in his chest. Was it possible to die from something like this? From Kuroko's ultimate cuteness? His mind spinning, caught between prudence and his desires, he blurted out, "I'm confused."

Kuroko's eyebrow rose. "As am I. Are you confused about what you need help with? Perhaps you should let me read the texts first, and then I can help you decide-"

"Not about - there's no...agh. I'm not confused about any texts. I'm confused about myself." Kagami rubbed at his forehead, willing his blush away and trying not to grimace. He was such a terrible liar. That was part of the reason why Takao had insisted on removing the lightbulb - what Kuroko couldn't see, he wouldn't readily question, after all.

"In what way?" Only the content marked the delivery as a question. Kuroko's voice was dull and flat, almost as if he knew exactly where this was going...no! He couldn't think like that! Otherwise he'd defeat himself before he would have a chance!

Stuttering like an idiot would get him nowhere, however. Summoning all his courage, Kagami took a deep breath and lied like hell. "I'm confused about what happened at that party. You know. And I need your help."

Kuroko's face was as pale and still as a marble statue, and for a terrifying moment Kagami thought he'd broken him. But then he swallowed, and his gaze flickered down to the floor. "I don't understand. If Kagami-kun has feelings for Himuro-san, I do not see how I could possibly help him."

Oh lord love a duck. How could Kuroko be so smart and yet so dumb at the same time? "No, I don't- at least, not like that, but…" Maybe Kuroko could be forgiven for being an idiot when Kagami couldn't speak in complete sentences. Oh, to hell with it all. "I need you to kiss me."

Almost immediately, Kagami's inner voice of wisdom began screaming like a ninny.

Kuroko's head shot up, his eyes wide and unguarded. His expression caused the rarely used voice of wisdom to stop screeching as abruptly as it began, and for the first time all night Kagami suspected Takao's plan might succeed, after all. "What?"

Now that he'd manned up enough to say it, Kagami's floodgates burst and his reasoning came tumbling out. "I gotta' know, ok? If it was the kiss, or Tatsuya, or hormones, or...or I don't know what else. And you're the only person I wan- could trust with this. 'Cuz you're my shadow. And I trust you and li- get along with you and rely on you all the time and so will you? Please? Otherwise I think I'm going to go a little crazy, here." He looked miserably down at himself. "Although I think I am already."

There was a long moment of silence, stretching between them and fraying Kagami's nerves one by one. Yet then, "Kagami-kun." Kuroko took a step towards him, and Kagami stared dumbly down at him. "Kagami-kun," Kuroko repeated. "If you want me to do this, you will have to sit down."

Oh. Oh. Yeah, he could do that. Kagami sat down on the bed like a puppet whose strings had been cut, and then he was only a couple inches below eye level with Kuroko, and oh shit his eyes were right there, and undoubtedly could see his blush, and-

Kuroko leaned in, brushing his mouth against his. It was soft and sweet and everything that Tatsuya's kiss was not, but it still made Kagami's heart pound like a jackhammer and his lips part automatically. Oh god. He was going to embarrass himself, he knew it, but Kuroko was kissing him with no fuss at all, and there was no way he was ever getting over this-

His shadow broke off the kiss and leaned back just far enough to take in Kagami's helpless expression. "Was that adequate, Kagami-kun?"

Too late he remembered to look away, and Kuroko's own eyes widened at the longing he no doubt saw. His tongue stilled traitorously in his mouth, and all he could do was glance back at his shadow, mentally willing him to finish what he had started.

"If Kagami-kun is...undecided, I suppose it was not enough. Would he like me to try again?"

There was a strange gleam in Kuroko's eyes, and it was this that unstuck Kagami's tongue, and emboldened him enough to lean forward. "Yeah."

Their lips met again, and it was no longer a chaste gesture. Fear and the fragility of the moment no longer held Kagami back, and he slanted his mouth over Kuroko's, practically shaking in excitement. His arms were stiff at his side, clutching the bed in an effort to keep from cupping Kuroko's face between his hands, a romantic gesture that he feared would give him away. Yet sweet jesus, Kuroko tasted so damn good, and was such a perfect juxtaposition of soft lips and strong jaw that it made Kagami's head spin. All he could do was channel his feelings through his kiss, and hope that his partner felt it half as much as he did.

Kuroko felt none of Kagami's reluctance. His hands rested on his light's shoulders, gripping them firmly as he angled his jaw to gain better access to Kagami's mouth. Then, slowly, one hand slipped behind Kagami's neck to catch at the base of his head, sliding against his cropped hair. The kiss grew deeper, and it made him bold - Kuroko stepped between Kagami's parted legs, leaning down so that there could be no space at all between their hungry mouths. He then let his free hand rest high on Kagami's thigh, only inches away from Kagami's burgeoning erection.

It was this that brought Kagami back to his senses. He pulled back, and all he could think of was that if Kuroko realized how much he liked where this was going, he'd never get any of this again. It was with this in mind that he attempted to verbally respond to Kuroko's questioning stare, and coupled with his natural stupidity and excitement he fell flat on his face. "Woah, woah no good-" It was only when he saw Kuroko's expression change from aroused to flat that he realized his mistake. "Wait, no! Yes, good! Ku-Kuroko!"

But it was too late. Kuroko hauled off and smacked him with the amount of force he usually reserved for his ignite pass kai. Kagami fell back on the bed, stars clouding his vision. For a moment he passed out of awareness, yet as he returned he could have sworn that he saw a bright shaft of light cut across the guest room floor. The door. Kuroko had managed to open the door (probably through his magical powers, Kagami thought disjointedly) yet more importantly Kagami had fucked. Everything. Up.

As soon as his vision cleared he shot up, stumbling to the door in an effort to salvage something. How could he have been so stupid? Kuroko had been doing him a favor and had maybe even liked it and Kagami had told him it was no good? He hadn't even meant it like that! Stupid American upbringing! Stupid panic! Stupid self!

He raced down the hallway, tearing through the living room - oh shit, was that Coach? And Captain? Damn, he hadn't realized Coach was so bendy - but couldn't find his shadow. Where would Kuroko have gone? Damn, he'd even take Takao at the moment, seeing as his plan had failed spectacularly. And although he could see Kiyoshi, Izuki and Shuutoku's old center by the punch bowl, and Kise on the floor, covered with what appeared to be pineapples and that Kasamatsu guy, he couldn't find his target or the host…

"You did what?!" Midorima's anguished yell cut through the music, and Kagami's head whipped around. There. Only one person could make Midorima yell like that, and Takao was better than nothing. He raced into the kitchen, skidding on the tiles to see-

Oh. Well. He certainly hadn't expected that.

…

-Twenty minutes ago-

Takao had planned on a nice, relaxing party after locking the Seririn stars in his guest room. But he had also invited Kise, and the model had apparently chosen tonight to act on a heretofore unsuspected attraction to Midorima Shintarou. Therefore, the evening had officially gone to shit.

"Ahnnn, Midorimachii! It's been so long!"

(It had been two days, you dumb blonde.)

"It's been two days, Kise. Is your short term memory really that bad?"

(Well done, Shin-chan. Now, tell him to get the hell off of you, and to bother his own damn Captain.)

"Awwww, so harsh! But that's what I love about you, Midorimachii!"

(Ugh. Get the hell off of him, Kise!)

"That is not what you love most about me. Those would be my three-pointers."

(That's right, tell him- wait. What?!)

Kise was as surprised as Takao. "Midorimachii! You're playing along! I - I don't know what to say!" The blonde snuggled up tighter to his old teammate, shooting a calculating glance over at Kasamatsu, who had just crushed his plastic cup in a fit of sheer rage. Kise then fluttered his eyelashes up at Midorima. "Does this mean you're finally noticing me? After all this time?"

(OVER MY DEAD BODY.)

"No. I simply could not let such a blatant lie stand as truth."

Takao relaxed. Of course Shin-chan wasn't actually getting along with Kise, even if he had tricked him into consuming one of the drinks he'd handed out earlier. Two, actually. Still, it wasn't enough to make Shin-chan actually like Kise-

"This would mean that your love of my unforgiving exterior is only second to my skills as a shooting guard, as is abundantly clear."

Oh, hell no. Kise's eyes widened and so did Takao's. Whatever the hell was going on here was not ok. Takao glanced around and caught Miyaji's eye, taking a break from balefully staring at Seirin's coach and captain who were halfway to getting it on in his living room. He jerked his head over at Kise, who through his effortless conquest of women had earned Miyaji's undying hatred more than Shin-chan and his eccentricities ever could. Then, he mouthed the word flirting.

Miyaji's eyes narrowed. "Kimuraaaaa! Pineapple!"

Thus began the melee. Kimura deposited a pineapple into Miyaji's waiting hand - a conditioned reflex after their year with Shin-chan and himself - and their former senpai launched the fruit at Kise and Midorima. Yet Midorima, who had developed a sixth sense from all the pineapples thrown at him during their time together, pulled himself out of the pineapple's path, leaving Kise alone to take the blow. It was a magnificent hit, and Kise staggered back from the force of the blow before falling gracefully to the floor.

"Kise! You dumb bastard!" Kasamatsu stepped over his former teammate and picked up the pineapple. He glanced at the fruit, and then at Miyaji, and settled for kicking the writhing miracle on the floor.

Kise immediately began to blubber. "Why, senpai…?"

Kasamatsu's eyes narrowed, and it was obvious he was searching his soul. Then, with an anguished yell, he reared back and threw the pineapple back at Miyaji, clipping him on the shoulder. "Argh, I can't do it! Kise's the dumbest thing that's ever happened to me but he's still Kaijou's property! Only we can fuck with him! Take that!"

Miyaji cracked his neck in anticipation. "Kimura? It is time. Ready the crate."

"Yes, sir."

Takao tried to imagine the state of his living room tomorrow, but then shrugged. Oh well. The party had been getting a bit stale, anyways. He grabbed Shin-chan's hand and yanked him after him into the kitchen, so that neither of them would be pelted by stray pineapples. Then, he put on his best, feminine pout, his saddest eyes, and stared up at his best friend. "Shiiiiin-chan. Were you flirting with Kise? I don't know if Kasamatsu-senpai will like that...and that man likes to kick."
Midorima huffed as he straightened his arms, and Takao nearly forgot how to be upset. This was his favorite huff of displeasure, the one Shin-chan only did when he was either extremely tired, or at the end of his rope. Takao fought down tingles as his ace responded. "Don't be ridiculous, Takao. I was doing nothing at all. If Kise chooses to make a fool of himself - and it's an occurrence we are all intimately acquainted with, mind you - that is his problem. Do not make that face at me. All I did was stand there. I am blameless."

Takao looked down slyly, pursing his lips in an expression that he knew made him look enchanting. He had practiced, after all. "Shin-chan didn't look too upset about it though. He went right along in Kise's pace! Maybe he's starting to like his old teammate more than he expected?"

Shin-chan's response would determine whether or not he was hiding a body tonight. The rickshaw was multi-purpose, after all.

"So what if I did? It's no different than you and your girls."

Takao blinked, wrath temporarily diverted by astonishment. Midorima had muttered at the end, embarrassment quieting his voice too late. With flushing cheeks and a small wince, the shooting guard turned away from him, recognizing that he had crossed the line they had established months ago. Takao swallowed the grin that threatened to break the moment. Here it was - the moment he had been cultivating for years - the moment when Shin-chan finally acknowledged that he liked him, needed him, and perhaps even loved him. He boxed his friend into the corner, reaching around him to grip his taped fingers. Even though he still refused to look at him, (that beautiful tsundere) he still let him hold his hand. Giddy with excitement, Takao brought Shin-chan's left hand to his lips, kissed it, and then made a tactical error. "There are no girls, Shin-chan. There never was. Even that one night can be explained! Honestly, you tsundere, if you'd just let me explain then… Argh, you're as stubborn as Kagami! What is it with miracles and wasting time?"

Takao didn't realize his mistake until Midorima half turned, eyes narrow in suspicion. "Kagami? I had not realized you were privy to Kagami's deliberations. Takao. Explain."

Oh shit. "Ahhh it's nothing Shin-chan! We just spoke a bit earlier, when I invited him to the party. Nothing serious."

Midorima's eyes narrowed further. "I do not believe you. Do you trust me so little, Takao? Can you not tell me even this?"

Takao's heart lodged itself in his esophagus. When had Shin-chan learned to doubt him? He frantically weighed his options. Either he could hold his silence or attempt to lie again, and risk another misunderstanding that might push their happiness back another few months, if not permanently. Or, he could just tell him, and hope that Shin-chan would see it as altruistic, rather than devious. "Well…" Oh, who was he kidding? Now that he'd had a taste of interested Shin-chan he couldn't go another unspecified period of time without it! So, he told him.

"You did what?!"

"It was for a good cause, Shin-chan! It's obvious they're in love with each other!"

Midorima spun abruptly, and the flung Takao away from him. The point guard fell back against the opposite counter, knocking over the half-empty bowl of alcohol and dousing himself in a heady mixture of rum, triple sec, and fruit punch.

It was at this moment that Kagami ran into the kitchen, took one glance at the sopping wet Takao, and blurted out, "Oh, uh. Um. Is this a bad time?"

Takao narrowed his eyes at Midorima, who was doing his best to ignore both the other men in the kitchen. "Pretty much." He looked around for a towel, and settled on drying himself with paper towels. "How can I help you, Kagami?"

"I'm not apologizing," Midorima cut in, gaze fixed firmly on the floor. There were spots of color on his cheeks but Takao couldn't tell if they were from embarrassment or anger. "You were wrong, Takao. You shouldn't have done that. He's going to kill us all, now. And I trusted you, and you had said-" He trailed off, finally looking at his partner. Now Takao could see flush was neither embarrassment or anger, but sheer helplessness. "I'm going home."

"Shin-chan, wait-" Takao grabbed for his friend but the dark look his shot him made him pull back.

"No, Takao. I need some time to think. I will call you tomorrow." Then, with a stiff nod to the still gaping Kagami, Midorima exited the kitchen. All Takao could do was watch him leave, covered in alcohol and seething inwardly.

Yet that didn't solve the problem of Kagami, who had grown used to the oddity of the situation and had begun to fidget. "Um, Takao?"

He really did not have the patience for this. "What."

"I did a bad thing. A thing that is bad. I did it."

Was the man speaking in English or something? The disjointedness caught Takao's attention and he sighed as he turned to the power forward. "What? Tell me what it is you did."

He did.

"What?! You what?! For the love of all that is holy - he was kissing you and you said it was no good?! Seriously, man. How have you lived this long?"

Kagami scowled. "Yes! I'm an idiot! I know that! So you gotta' help me, ok? Have you seen Kuroko?"

"Of course I haven't seen him - I locked the door, didn't I?" Wait. Had he? He thought he had…fussy lock indeed. He looked at Kagami with narrowed eyes. "Crap. If you're both out….shit, no. I haven't seen him." Takao raked his hands through his hair and groaned. "Shit. This means we're fucked, doesn't it."

By this point Kagami was nearly dancing with frustration. "If we don't hurry up and find him, yeah. So let's go! Use your hawkeye and help me! Please!"

Well, what else could he do? Shin-chan had exiled him, and he knew better than to try and push him when he was being that serious. Besides, Kagami was a large, muscle-bound male, and who knew what he would do in a fit of desperation? Takao sighed, and squelched a path through his kitchen to the closet. "Yeah, ok. Let me just change my shoes, first."

So much for his masterwork. S.P.E.P. had crashed and burned...

…

It didn't take long for Takao and Kagami to determine that Kuroko was no longer in the house. It did take an extremely grumpy Aomine to figure out where he was, however.

(Aomine sat hunched over, visibly suffering as Momoi tied his wrists to the arms of the chair. The party had dwindled down into a exhibitionist review, wherein Kiyoshi performed a moving monologue over his two best friends getting it on. Aomine, who had become too appreciative for Momoi's tastes, had been removed to the guest room by feminine methods Kagami could not even begin to guess at. They ran across them at a telling moment. "Now, watch carefully, Dai-chan," she said as she settled in front of him, whipping out her clipboard from who knew where. "I know you're having a hard time with the entire concept, so I am prepared to break it down for you. Today, I'm going to teach you about love." She flipped over the top sheet on her clipboard dramatically. "Part one: poetry."

Aomine growled.

Takao wasted no time. He darted forward to Aomine, and fished his cell phone out of his pocket. Before Aomine could do more than sneer, he had tapped out a quick message to Kuroko, taking care to keep in his perception of Aomine's character. Kagami supposed it must have been effective, as Kuroko's reply buzzed back a moment later: Not now, Aomine-kun. Besides, I am already home.

Instead of returning the phone to Aomine, he gave it to Momoi, instead. Momoi raised her eyebrows, but shooed them away rather quickly. "Go on, boys. Dai-chan is getting an education. And believe me. You do not want to be here for it."

Aomine muttered something that sounded suspiciously like I'll educate you as soon as I get out of this. No one remarked on the obvious fact that the only thing keeping him from escape were Momoi's scarf and headband, and that being so, that he possibly had a better understanding of the concept of love than he'd like to admit. His best friend glanced at him thoughtfully, and smiled. She then sauntered over and settled herself in her Aomine's lap, and held the clipboard up directly in front of his face. Aomine paled. "We will begin with the quatrain…")

The boys had beat a hasty retreat, scuttling into the kitchen before they could witness firsthand Momoi's teaching methods. Then Takao had turned to him, and asked the million dollar question. "So. What will you do?"

He hadn't known then, and he certainly didn't know now, trudging home in the dark, an obvious if not quite easy prey for the teenage hooligans that roamed the streets at night. At the moment, he couldn't give a sweet muffin for his personal safety as he was far too absorbed in mapping out potential disastrous situations. Even if Kuroko didn't kill him - and he might not, as lights were major investments, or so Kuroko had once told him - their friendship was fucked. You didn't just kiss someone, mistakenly tell them it was no good and then fall back into your previous relationship. And even if Kuroko was somehow able to do it, Kagami certainly couldn't. He'd had too much riding on tonight, not just in terms of his feelings for his best friend, but also for his self-respect.

Kagami let himself into the apartment, hanging up his jacket and laying his wallet, keys, and phone neatly out on the clean coffee table. After a moment of staring at it indecisively, he picked up his phone and made his way out to the balcony. It was a clear night, with plenty of moonlight to see by, so it was easy enough to find Kuroko's contact information. It was much harder to write the text and actually send it to him, however.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

And then, after he'd pressed send and had a minute to panic over it further, I want to see you. Tomorrow. At our outdoor court. I'll be there all day, so just come if you want to talk.

A minute after that was time enough to realize he was coming off as far too American. Leaving nothing to chance, he sent one last message: Please. Then, Kagami turned off his cell phone, knowing that there was little chance of Kuroko replying tonight, and even less that he would come over and let Kagami confess when his heart was somewhat prepared. It would also be far too easy to blow up Kuroko's cell with muddled texts of explanation, ones that would probably sink all Kagami's chances. No, he had to focus tonight, and do his best to present himself coherently tomorrow...if Kuroko came to see him.

Kagami let himself back into his living room, settling down on the couch. He laid his cell phone down on the table in front of him, perfectly spaced with his keys and wallet. After a moment of thought, he unhooked his necklace and lay it down alongside them. Only when everything in his vision was precisely aligned could he allow himself to reflect on what he could possibly tell Kuroko that would explain his behavior...although he suspected it all boiled down to his crippling fear of love.

Kagami winced. How in god's name was that going to persuade Kuroko to like him back? He'd best begin at the beginning, and then he could figure out the key points later. Yet that might not be much better, especially with how angry his early life always made Tatsuya. What if Kuroko had a similar reaction?

Well, it was certainly better than Kuroko being angry at him. Sighing, Kagami leaned back on the couch, his eyes never leaving the necklace on the table. He supposed he might as well begin with the worst. Then it could only get better. So. It had taken Kagami a very long time to realize that his family was not what most would consider normal…

…

...

I would like to apologize to Furihata, Fukuda, and Kawahara. It seems as if their only role in my stories are to wander around with iPod and speakers, and man the music. Not that manning the music isn't essential in the production of a good party, as any partygoer knows. Still. My apologies to the good gentlemen.

...

I also apologize to Elton John, and Kise who always seems to get the short end of the stick in all my fics. I'm sorry. I think I'm allergic to shoujo sparkles.