D Gray-show

by NoName-chan

NoName-chan: Game Shows? Talk shows? The Wheel of "Torture?" Try combining all of those into one show! Then add the popular cast of DGM, and see where it takes you! I'm your host, NoName-chan, and this is D Gray-show! Allen: This summary is too long... NoName-chan: *Hits Allen over the head with a shovel* SHUT UP! (SemiCrack, if not total Crack; Random pairings scattered about)

7. Chapter 4

NoName-chan: We've gone one hell of an Episode-Chapter-Thingy ahead of us, so let's just cut straight to the Disclaimer: Yuno-chan?
Yuno-chan: NoName-chan doesn't own DGM, songs, or any references that may or may not be made in this E-C-T~

---

*Horrible Opening of DEATHHHHHH runs its course*

NoName-chan: *grins* Hello, everyone, and welcome back for Episode-Chapter-Thingy 4 of D Gray-Show~!

Audience: *loud applause*

NoName-chan: Thank you, thank you~! I'm your fantabulous Hostess, NoName-chan-

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *tick marks* WE KNOW!

NoName-chan: *hits them over the heads with my shovel* NO ONE ASKED YOU! Anyways, *gestures to the Contestants* Here are our Contestants~!

Allen: *sighs* Here we go again…..

Kanda: *rolls eyes* CHE.

Lavi: Why do we even do Introductions at this point? O.o

Lenalee: *smiles and waves*

Road: *grins and takes out Blackmail Camera* This'll be good~

NoName-chan: *grins as well* Indeed~ Now-

Allen: Wait a second…. *looks around and narrows eyes* Something's wrong here…

Kanda: Yeah. You're here. OOOOHHHH~!

Allen: And you're in a dress -.-

Kanda: *poker face*

Lavi, Lenalee, Road: OOOOHHHH BURN~!

Kanda: *tick mark* SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Allen: Anyways, back on topic: What's going on here? o_o

NoName-chan: What do you mean? *eyes widen* OH, is this about the katana up the ass thing?

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *silence* …. O.o

NoName-chan: … I guess not, then…

Allen: The fuck? O.o

NoName-chan: NOTHING~! Anyways, what exactly is "wrong"?

Allen: I dunno! 0.0 It's just….. *looks around* It feels like something's missing….

NoName-chan: What? Your virginity after ten minutes in the closet with Kanda?

Allen : NO! Well, yes, that too, but NO! It's more like….. SOMEONE'S missing, not something…

Kanda: *rolls eyes* Che. Moyashi, you're drunk. There's nobody missing. Now stop being a baka and-

NoName-chan: *snaps fingers* Oh, I know who you're talking about, Allen!

Kanda: Wait, what? There's actually someone missing? 0.0

Road: *snorts* Today is just not your day, Pretty Boy~

Kanda: *tick mark* WHO ARE YOU CALLING-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with my shovel* SHUT THE FUCK UP, I AM TALKING! ANYWAYS, yes, there IS someone missing. Two people, actually. And they're not really 'missing' so much as they're just not here yet. In fact, *looks at watch* one will be here in 3… 2… 1…

Ben-kun: *runs in* I'M HERE! I'M HERE! :D

Allen: *snaps fingers* THAT'S it! Ben-kun wasn't here!

NoName-chan: *Grins* I know~

Ben-kun: Yup~! But I'm here now, so yayz~! ^.^

Lavi: *tilts head slightly* Why were you even gone? O.o

Ben-kun: *freezes and swallows nervously* W-Well, um….. ^^;;;

NoName-chan: *Dark aura* Might as well spit it out, Ben-kun. I already know.

Ben-kun: W-W-Well, remember how in E-Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3.5, I-I got drunk and lit Cross's h-house on f-fire? 0.0;;;

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: How could we forget? -.-;;;;

Ben-kun: W-W-Well, I kind of got arrested for starting the second largest house fire in the history of this country…. ^^;;;

Allen: SECOND largest? Who started the first? O.e

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Lenalee, Road: Yuno-chan.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: O.o

Yuno-chan: *blows a kiss from her seat in the audience* ;D

Ben-kun: Anyways, back on topic: Yeah, so I started that house fire and had to stay in jail until NoName-chan bailed me out five minutes ago ^^;;;;;;

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *GASP* O.O

Ben-kun: What? O.o

Lavi: Oh my god! I-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I-IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! OF ALL THINGS IN THE UNIVERSE, I'D NEVER EXPECT THIS! I-

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with my shovel* SPIT IT OUT ALREADY, WE'RE WASTING TIME!

Ben-kun: Yeah, what is it, Lavi? O.o

Lavi: I-It's just…. NoName-chan actually bailed you out?! O.O

Ben-kun: ….Yeah? O.o

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *GASP*

Ben-kun: What? O.o

Lavi: I can't believe she would do something that nice! e.e

Allen: Yeah! And out of the sheer goodness of her heart, too! 0.0

*A moment of silence*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Lenalee, Road: *burst out laughing* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PPFFFFFTTTTT, NO! YOU GUYS ARE HILARIOUS! XD

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: O.o

Lavi: Why did you bail him out then? e.e

NoName-chan: *stops laughing and is surrounded by a dark aura once more*

Ben-kun: *pales* You just HAD to ask that….. O.O

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: Wha? 0.o

NoName-chan: *tick mark. Glares daggers at Ben* You little bitch…. Even after all my warnings and reminders… YOU STILL GOT FUCKING ARRESTED I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK I WARNED YOU NOT TO LIKE SIX TIMES

Allen: Is she really more concerned about the fact that he got arrested than she is about the fact he set Cross's house on fire?... e.e

Lenalee: Does this really surprise you? -.-;;;

Ben-kun: *shrieks under my wrath* I'M SORRY, NONAME-CHAN! TT_TT I WAS DRUNK, AND-

NoName-chan: SORRY?! YOU'RE SORRY?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT! I HAD TO PAY FUCKING BAIL BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU NEED TO BE TAUGHT A LESSON!

Ben-kun: *SHRIEK* P-PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME TO DEATH WITH YOUR SHOVEL! O.O I-I-

NoName-chan: *sickly sweet smile and eerily calm voice* Oh, Ben-kun, no! I'm not going to kill you!

Ben-kun: Y-You're not? o.o;;;

NoName-chan: Oh, no. No, what I've got in store for you is WAY worse than death. *Evil grin* CANDY! CHOCO! SICK 'EM!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: What? O.o

Ben-kun: *pales* W-WAIT, YOU MEAN-?!

Usagi-Twins: *jump out of fucking NOWHERE and attack Ben* AKAKAKAKOW, MOTHERFUCKER!

Ben-kun: *SCREAM* AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Usagi-Twins: MUAHAHAHAHAHA! *Beat the shit out of Ben*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: o.e *look at me for an explanation*

NoName-chan: *sadistic grin* Oh, did I forget to tell you? The Usagi-Twins are my bodyguards now.

*A moment of silence*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: WHAT?! O.O

Candy: *Stops beating Ben for a moment to grin at us* Hell yeah, baby~!

Choco: *Stops beating Ben and grins as well* We're here to protect NoName-chan and beat anyone who pisses her off!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: PROTECT HER?! WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE NEED PROTECTION FROM?! e.e

NoName-chan: *freezes. Smiles weakly and sweatdrops* W-Well, you see…. ^^;;;

Road: *Snorts* Fangirls.

NoName-chan: Yeah…. 0.0;;;

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: ….. What? 0.o

NoName-chan: *Hits them over the heads with my shovel* WERE YOU NOT FUCKING LISTENING?! I NEED PROTECTION FROM FANGIRLS!

Allen: But I thought you were friends with all the fangirls! Why do you need protection from them? O.o

NoName-chan: Well, I am. 95% of the fangirls I actually talk to end up being my friends. However, there are SOME – no names here *cough*YUNO-CHAN*cough* – that get a bit violent toward me. So, basically…

Usagi-Twins: *have once again returned to beating Ben* We're protecting her from rabid fangirls.

NoName-chan: Yup~! ^.^;;;;

Usagi-Twins: *stop beating Ben* Alright, we think he's learned a lesson! *sadistic grins*

NoName-chan: *grins as well* Excellent~

Usagi-Twins: Now, where's our pay?

NoName-chan: Well, I'm broke from paying Ben-kun's bail, so here *Gives the Twins each a box of Donuts*

Usagi-Twins: *grin* It's been a pleasure doing business with you~ *Return to their seats in the Audience*

Ben-kun: *SOB*

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with my shovel* BITCH, SHUT YOUR FACE, WE HAVE A SHOW-FANFICTION-THINGY TO RUN! *Grins* NOW, without further ado, let's-

Allen: WAIT!

NoName-chan: *throws hands up in frustration* WHAT NOW?!

Allen: You JUST paid Ben-kun's bail, right?

NoName-chan: Yeah?

Allen: And he got arrested at the end of Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3.5, right?

NoName-chan: He already said that, why the hell are you asking?

Allen: But this doesn't make sense! You had that long ass Apology Notice, remember? Didn't you judo flip Ben-kun out the window at the end of it? Well, how did he get out of jail for that?

NoName-chan: Jesus fucking Christ, MUST you notice every little detail?! I busted him out, that's how!

*A moment of silence*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: WHAT?!

Road: Lol

NoName-chan: ARE YOU GUYS FUCKING DEAF?! I busted him out of jail!

Allen: HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?! e.e

NoName-chan: *slams face into the coffee table* THIS INTRO IS NEVER GOING TO FUCKING END. *sighs and sits up* Alright, I'll tell you. First off, I got arrested-

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *slams hands down on the coffee table* IF YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO GASP AT EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING, I'M NOT GONNA TELL THE STORY!

Allen: OKAY, OKAY! We'll shut up, just continue!

NoName-chan: THANK YOU! Now, as I was saying, a few days after Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3.5, I got arrested because Kanda told the cops about my underage drinking-

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee: Say, WHAT? *stare at Kanda*

Kanda: I also set her house on fire. Problem?

*MEANWHILE AT MY HOUSE*

Pineapplebombgirl: *standing on the toilet, flames licking at her feet. Sobs and attempts to swat the fire away with the toilet plunger* Damn it, I'm gonna miss Volleyball Practiceeeeeeeeeee! TT_TT

*BACK WITH THE REST OF US*

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with my shovel* BEN-KUN'S FUCKING COLLEGE FUND WAS IN THERE, YOU ASSHOLE!

Ben-kun: D:

Kanda: ASDFGHJKLFIOWFHBEJKWFJCUDNHKJASEAW?/!

NoName-chan: *narrows eyes* You're lucky I installed a bunch of extra bedrooms in this building, or you'd be dead! Anyway, on with the story! So, I went to jail, and….

*Flashback that you've all probably been expecting*

Cop Person: *throws one enraged, flailing me into a jail cell* Get in there, you psycho bitch!

NoName-chan: *foams at the mouth angrily* I AM GOING TO FUCKING END YOU, YOU SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING WHORE!

Cop Person: *locks the cell and walks away* Fucking kids these days and their fucking shovels….

NoName-chan: *seethes* When I get out of here, he's going to get it, that little- *feels a tap on my shoulder. Turns around slowly*

HUGE Scary Cellmate: *growls* You're fresh meat, aren't ya? Well, ya know what we do to newbies?

NoName-chan: *pales* N-No…. 0_0

Cellmate: Well, you're about to find out…. *cracks knuckles*

*20 minutes later*

Cop Person: *throws a straightjacket-wearing me into the cusiony room prisons have* Since you had to go and send your previous cellmate to the goddamn ER, we are forced to put you in the Crazy Room.

NoName-chan: *stands up* HEY! In my defense, that asshole defied me!

Cop Person: I don't care. Hope you like your new cellmate. *shuts door*

NoName-chan: *turns around to see my cellmate*

Ben-kun: *wearing a straightjacket as well* Hi, Nee-chan! :D

NoName-chan: *FACEWALL* Oh my fucking god YOU GOT ARRESTED?! WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU?!

Ben-kun: Hey, this isn't that bad! I mean, they give you free food here! ^.^

NoName-chan: -_- *sighs* Well, I might as well try and get used to this place… *sits down*

Ben-kun: *dances around, singing* "TSUKEMA TSUKEMA TSUKEMA TSUKERU!" ^.^

NoName-chan: *Jumps up* ALRIGHT, THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO HANDLE BEING IN A ROOM ALONE WITH THIS IDIOT FOR MORE THAN TWENTY MINUTES. COME ON, BEN-KUN, WE'RE LEAVING!

Ben-kun: *stops* Leaving? 0.0

NoName-chan: *rips off my straightjacket because SHUT UP and stretches* We're breaking out of here!

Ben-kun: *sits down defiantly* HMPH! I'm not leaving! I won't get any more food if I leave!

NoName-chan: *Facepalm* YOU CAN HAVE A DONUT WHEN WE GET HOME, NOW LET'S GO! *grabs Ben-kun by the hair, kicks the door open, and drags him through the hallway*

Cop People: THEY'RE ESCAPING! GET THEM! *run at us*

Ben-kun: NONAME-CHAN! O.O

NoName-chan: Chill, I've got this… *pulls a remote controller out of my bra and presses a button*

Floor: *explodes, sending the Cop People flying*

NoName-chan: Now, let's go! *Drags Ben-kun out of the police station*

Ben-kun: When did you set bombs in there? O.e

NoName-chan: 'Bout a week ago, right after I went for facials with Tyki. Now, shut it! *punches the window of a nearby car, shattering it, before manually unlocking the car from the inside, opening the door, throwing Ben in, getting in the driver's seat, hotwiring the car, and driving back to the NoName-chan FanFiction Co. Building*

*Back to the present*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *GAPE* O_O

Road: *laughs*

NoName-chan: After that, I filmed Episode-Chapter-Thingy 3.75. Then, the cops finally found me and Ben-kun, took us to court because we still hadn't had our trials, found Ben-kun guilty, and let me go free.

Allen: Wait, why didn't they find you guilty? You've committed more crimes than the Earl!

NoName-chan: Because they didn't have any evidence of my crimes.

Allen: They saw you break out of prison. They have enough evidence to put you up for life. o_o

NoName-chan: Pfft, cops ain't got nothing on me!

Elvira Rayne: *suddenly wakes up from the nap she was taking in the Audience and sits straight up* MY REFERENCE SENSES ARE TINGLING.

NoName-chan: Anyways, yeah. That's how I broke out of jail. Any questions?

Lavi: Yeah! How did you set the bombs-

NoName-chan: GOOD! Now, let's get on with the show-

Allen: WAIT!

NoName-chan: *throws my head back* ALLEN, I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU! WHAT IN THE HELL IS IT NOW?!

Allen: *looks around with narrowed eyes* Something else is off here…..

NoName-chan: YES HOW VERY OBSERVANT OF YOU. TYKI ISN'T HERE. NOW CAN WE PLEASE MOVE ON?! WE'VE WASTED ENOUGH TIME AS IT IS!

Lavi: Wait, why isn't Tyki here? O.o

NoName-chan: OH MY GOD, WHO THE HELL CARES?!

Lenalee: Actually, I'm kind of curious, too…..

NoName-chan: *SIIIIIGH* Look, I'm sure he'll be here any minute now! So can we PLEASE move o-

Tyki: *Bursts into the room in a shirt and thong, but no pants* GUYS, HEEEEEEELP!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *SCREEEEEEEEEAM* OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES MAKE IT STOP!

Road: *SNORT* Like hell if there's anything virgin about any of you at this point~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: -.-;;;

NoName-chan: Oh, Tyki's here. Alright, Tyki, we- *finally gets a look at Tyki. SCREAM* OH DEAR LORD WHAT THE HELL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR PANTS

Tyki: THAT'S WHAT I CAME TO YOU FOR! NONAME-CHAN, I CAN'T FIND MY PANTSSSS!

NoName-chan: …..What?

Tyki: MY PANTS! I LOST THEM! TT_TT

NoName-chan: *Stares at him silently for several moments before facepalming* How the hell did you- *shakes head* Nevermind, I don't want to know. *SIIIGH* Come on, let's just go find your pants so we can start this Episode-Chapter-Thingy already… *Grabs shovel and storms out of the room*

Tyki: *follows*

NoName-chan: Alright, *looks at Tyki* so, you lost your pants. Which pants were they?

Tyki: *Sniffs and wipes tears* M-My favorite r-rainbow leopard print b-booty shorts! T^T

NoName-chan: *Siiigh* Ooooooof course they were…. Well, where was the last place you saw them?

Tyki: A-a-at the O-Opera H-House!

NoName-chan: …. Wait, why the hell were you- *facepalm* Never mind. Okay, ignoring the fact that you were not only WEARING rainbow leopard print booty shorts at a freakin' Opera House, but you also somehow managed to LOSE them there, which Opera House?

Tyki: *Sniff* F-Follow me… *Walks away*

NoName-chan: *Follows, muttering curses under my breath*

*5 minutes later*

Tyki: *Stops and sniffs some more* W-We're here T~T

NoName-chan: Finally, we- *looks at the Opera House* …Tyki, what the hell is this…?

Tyki: W-What? I-It's the Opera House.

NoName-chan: Yes, but….. *gestures dramatically to the sign in front of the building* SINCE WHEN DOES PIÑA HAVE AN OPERA HOUSE?!

Tyki: *looks up at the "Piña's Opera House" sign and raises an eyebrow* Since always, I think…..

NoName-chan: *FACEWALL* HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS? FOR GOD'S SAKE, I FUCKING LIVE WITH HER!

Tyki: *hits me upside the head with a rolled up newspaper* CAN WE PLEASE DISCUSS PIÑA'S SECRET LIFE LATER?! THERE IS A BEAUTIFUL-

NoName-chan: That's a matter of opinion…..

Tyki: -PAIR OF BOOTY SHORTS AT STAKE HERE!

NoName-chan: *Sigh* Right, right. We've got a Show-FanFiction-Thingy to get back to anyways. Come on, let's just go…..

NoName-chan and Tyki: *walk inside the Opera House*

Greeting Guy: *smiles at us* Good afternoon, and welcome to Piña's Opera House! Do you have tickets, or would you like to purchase a ticket for one of our amazing showings-

NoName-chan: *grabs Greeting Guy by the collar of his shirt* Listen, bitch. I am here for a pair of booty shorts. I ain't purchasing SHIT. Got a problem with it? You can take it up with my shovel. Gracias and adios, motherfucker. *releases him and storms past*

Greeting Guy: *gapes silently*

Tyki: Thank you for understanding! Have a nice day~! ^.^ *skips after me*

Greeting Guy: *FACEDESK* I hate my job sometimes…

*5 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *stops storming around abruptly* Hey, Tyki….

Tyki: *stops as well* Yes~? ^.^

NoName-chan: It probably would've been smart if you told me which room you were in when you lost the shorts before I started raging around…

Tyki: *freezes* …. Indeed.

NoName-chan: So…. Why didn't you? -.-;;;

Tyki: *sheepish smile. Holds up an iPad* I was playing Flappy Bird….. ^^;;;;

NoName-chan: *FACEPALM* OH MY FUCKING GOD… *Raises my shovel to hit Tyki, but lowers it again before actually hitting him* You know what, never mind, we're wasting time. Just lead the way!

Tyki: 'Kay~! ^.^ *skips off in a random direction*

NoName-chan: *follows him, muttering under my breath*

*5 minutes later*

Tyki: *walks into a stage room*

NoName-chan: *follows him* Finally! We- *looks at the stage* … Is that the Earl?

Earl: *on the stage, singing into a microphone* "Baby, come back! You can blame it all on me!"

Tyki: Yup. He gave up his Soccer dream and went for this.

NoName-chan: *shakes my head* I don't even… Whatever. Let's just find your booty shorts and get out of here! Should we split up?

Tyki: Yeah, sure! *runs off in one direction*

NoName-chan: *walks in the other direction. Pulls a random audience member out of their seat by the collar of their shirt* OI, HAVE YOU SEEN A PAIR OF RAINBOW LEOPARD PRINT BOOTY SHORTS ANYWHERE?!

Audience Member: *YELP* N-NO… O.O

NoName-chan: *drops them* Okay, have a nice day! *walks up to another audience member and picks them up by the collar of their shirt* OI, HAVE YOU-

*Several people around me scream*

NoName-chan: *freezes* That sounded like a scream of utter horror and fear… *pales* That means….. *turns around to find what I feared*

Tyki: *on the stage, in the spotlight, asking the Earl about his booty shorts. And, may I remind you, is still not wearing pants*

NoName-chan: *facepalms* I think I just got blinded… *sighs* I should probably keep looking… *drops the audience member I was holding and walks over to the aisle* OI, IDIOTS, HAS ANYONE SEEN A PAIR OF RAINBOW LEAPORD PRINT BOOTY SHORTS?!

Audience: O.o

Tyki: *in the network of ropes and beams above the stage. Holds up his booty shorts* I FOUND THEM~! :D

NoName-chan: *looks up* …. You know what, it's not even worth asking. ALRIGHT, LET'S GO THEN!

Tyki: 'KAY~! *jumps down, puts on his shorts and skips out*

NoName-chan: *walks out after Tyki, shaking my head* The shit I do to keep this Show-FanFiction-Thingy going…..

*10 minutes later*

NoName-chan and Tyki: *walk onto the stage, yelling in unison* WE'RE BA~CK! *pause. Look at each other* Dude….

Ben-kun: How'd the search go? :D

Tyki: Excellent~! We found my booty shorts! Aren't they just fabulous~? ^.^ *waves his ass around*

Audience: *SCREAM* OH GOD MY VIRGIN EYES MAKE IT STOP!

Lenalee: They look great, Tyk! Are those the ones you got during Episode-Chapter-Thingy 1.5? :D

Tyki: Yup~! They're my favorite! Lavi and Kanda each own a pair, too! ^.^

Kanda: I burnt mine the second I was able to take them off.

Tyki: O-kay, then LAVI owns a pair, too! Show them, Bunny-boy~! :D

Lavi: *hangs head in humiliation and holds up a pair of booty shorts identical to Tyki's*

Allen: ….. You brought them with you? O.e

Lavi: Tyki made me… T_T

NoName-chan: *LIGHTBULB. Grins sadistically* You should wear them, too!

Lavi: W-WHAT-

Tyki: *SQUEEEAAL* YESYESYESYESYES WEAR THEM~!

Lavi: *Siiiiigh. Puts on booty shorts* I hate you all =_=

NoName-chan: Awwww, we hate you, too~! :)

Lenalee: Anyways, Tyki, your shorts are awesome! Almost as awesome as my new flats! *holds up a foot, showing off her shoes* Aren't they amazing? I should wear them every day! :D

Tyki: Oh yes, that's a great idea! You should wear them every day! Yeah! And why don't you go ahead and get 6 or 7 cats while you're at it, hm? :)

Lenalee: ….. *slowly lowers her foot and hangs her head, mumbling under her breath* They're not that bad….

Tyki: Hon, cats practically ATTACK people who wear flats. They're Crazy Cat Lady shoes! I'm already ashamed of you for wearing them, now take those abominations off before I disown you.

Lenalee: *takes off the flats and throws them in the trash without lifting her head*

Tyki: Good. I'm proud of you.

Lenalee: I'm sorry….. v.v

Tyki: *pats her head* It's alright, just don't do it again! ^.^

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Road: ….

NoName-chan: ….. Anyway, is everybody here?

Road: *looks around* Yup, it looks like it!

NoName-chan: Good! Let's get started-

Allen: WAIT!

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with my shovel* NO MORE WAITING! WE HAVE A SHOW TO RUN! Now, which round should we start with~?

Kanda: Why are you even asking? You're just gonna say-

NoName-chan: THE DARE ROUND IT IS~!

Kanda: Exactly.

NoName-chan: *grins and sits down on the red couch. Slip of paper appears in my hand* Now, let's begin~! Today's first Dare is for… Allen!

Allen: Oh god….

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Allen!

We Dare you to have kinky candle sex with Road!

~the3leonine"

Allen: *GAPE* T-They want me to WHAT?! O_O

Road: *fist pumps the air* YES~!

NoName-chan: Welp, Road! Take him to the Rape Room and have at it~!

Yuno-chan: *suddenly paying attention in the Audience* Did somebody say RAPE~?

Road: I'M ON IT~! Come along, Allen~! *grabs Allen by the ankle and drags him out*

Allen: *claws at the ground and flails* HELP ME!

*The door closes eerily behind them*

Ben-kun, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O_O

NoName-chan: Moving on~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* The next one is for…. Kanda~!

Kanda: Fuck.

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Kanda,

We Dare you to dye your hair gold, hot pink, and orange for at least a month.

~the3leonine"

Kanda: O_O

Lavi: the3leonine AGAIN…? O.e

NoName-chan: Yup! They've been really helpful! Anyways, Kanda?

Kanda: NO WAY IN HELL!

NoName-chan: Have it your way~! *starts beating Kanda with my shovel* DIE, YOU DEFIANT LITTLE BITCH!

Kanda: OW! OW! OKAY! I'LL DO IT, JUST STOP!

NoName-chan: *stops beating him* Good~! *gives Kanda the necessary hair dyes* See ya in 10 minutes~! ^.^ *drop kicks him off the stage*

Kanda: OW! *gets up and storms out, muttering under his breath*

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….

NoName-chan: Next Dare~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for… Lenalee! It reads:

"Lenalee,

I dare you to shave Lavi's head with a cat!

~Sparkle-de-Cat"

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….. WHAT?!

Lavi: *SOB. Rocks back and forth, clutching his head* Not my beautiful hair! I love my hair! TT_TT

Lenalee: *raises an eyebrow* How am I supposed to shave his head with a CAT? 0.e

NoName-chan: Magic. Now… *snaps fingers*

Lavi: *suddenly in a barber shop chair, immobilized by bright pink duck tape taping him in place* O.O

NoName-chan: *pulls a cat out of my bra and hands it to Lenalee* Have at it~

Lavi and Tyki: O.e D-Did she just-?

Ben-kun: *casually sips randomly appearing coffee* Yes. Yes she did.

Lenalee: *Siiigh* The things I do to avoid shovel beatings…

Lavi: As if you ever get beaten anyway =.=

Lenalee: *holds the cat up to Lavi's head*

Cat: ….. *looks up at Lenalee* Meow?

Lenalee: NONAME-CHAN, IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING!

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Chill, I've got this. *Leaves the room*

Lenalee: O.o

Tyki: …. What do you think she's doing out there?

Ben-kun: Teehee I like coffee ^.^ *chucks his coffee cup at Tyki's head*

Tyki: *Gets scorched by hot coffee. SCREEEEAAM. Runs around*

Lenalee: *facepalm* Damn it, Ben-kun, do you have to harm someone with your obliviousness in EVERY Episode-Chapter-Thingy? -.-;;;

Ben-kun: BadgerBadgerBadgerBadger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM~! ^.^ *starts rolling around on the ground*

Tyki: *still running around, screaming. Trips over Ben-kun and falls off the stage. Proceeds to twitch on the ground*

Lenalee: *Siiigh*

Lavi: *sobs for his poor hair*

*5 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *somersaults in through the window, does two front flips, and lands gracefully, holding something in my hand that can't be seen yet* I'M BACK~!

Audience: O.o

Ben-kun: *claps* ^.^

Lavi: *still sobbing*

Tyki: *sitting on the couch again with an icepack on his face* …. Welcome back?

NoName-chan: *raises an eyebrow* What happened to you?

Tyki: *points at Ben-kun*

NoName-chan: *looks at Ben* Ah, that makes sense…

Ben-kun: *spinning on his face* I TASTE CHLORINE :D

NoName-chan: That's nice, Nii-san. *looks at Lenalee* Well, you ready to do your Dare?

Lenalee: About as ready as I'll ever be, but… *holds up the calm cat* What are we gonna do about the cat?

NoName-chan: *holds out closed fist, the object I'm holding still yet to be unveiled* Oh, I've got it covered.

Lenalee: *smiles* Oh, is that something to make the cat excited? Is it catnip, or a toy, or-

NoName-chan: *Opens my fist, revealing the object to be a snowball, and chucks it at the cat*

Cat: *gets hit in the face* MROWWWW! *starts spazzing*

Lenalee: *quickly puts the cat at arm's distance before looking at me* A SNOWBALL?! 0.e

NoName-chan: What? It works with my cats~

Tyki: Wait, that isn't your cat? Then why the hell was it in your bra-

NoName-chan: *pulls a straw out of my bra and blows a spitball at Tyki* SHUT UP!

Tyki: *gets hit in the head with the wad of chewed up paper. SHRIIIEEEEEKKKKK* MY HAIIIIRRRRRRR!

NoName-chan: *ignores Tyki and looks at Lenalee* Well? Have at it!

Lenalee: *SIIIIIIIGH. Holds the cat up to Lavi's head*

Cat: *starts spastically swiping at Lavi's hair, cutting it off*

Lavi: *SOB*

Lenalee: 0.o I can't believe it worked…

NoName-chan: *eating a randomly appearing piece of toast* I can't believe it's not butter!

Ben-kun: *standing on the coffee table, flapping his arms* I believe I can fly! ^.^

NoName-chan: *Hits Ben over the head with my shovel* SIT DOWN, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

Tyki: *furiously fixing his hair in the reflection of a handheld mirror*

Lenalee: *continues shaving Lavi's head with the cat*

Cat: *gets about an inch of Lavi's hair off, when suddenly-*

Random person: *walks in, wearing flats* Sorry I'm late for the show! I hate to take a cab, and-

Cat: *sees the person* MROWWWWWWWWW! *contorts itself out of Lenalee's grasp and attacks the person in flats*

Random person: *gets mauled by the cat. SCREEEEEAAAMMMMM. Runs out of the room*

Lenalee: O.e

Tyki: *casually sips coffee, his hair once again luscious* I told you so~

NoName-chan: … Huh. So cats attack flat-wearers after all….. *makes mental note to give Ben all my flats later* Anyways, I think that ends this Dare….

Lavi: *blinks away tears and looks up at me hopefully* Wait… D-DOES THIS MEAN…?

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Yes, Lavi, you can keep your hair…..

Lavi: HUZZAH~! Now… *looks down at duck tape binds* Can you untie me…?

NoName-chan: *smirks* Nah, I think you're good~

Lavi: B-But…

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD! Now, next-

Road: *somersaults out of an air vent on the ceiling with Allen in tow, lands on Ben-kun's face, and jumps to the ground gracefully* WE'RE BACK~!

Ben-kun: *clutches his face in pain* OWIE! DX

NoName-chan: Oh, hey, guys! How was the rape~?

Allen: *SOB*

NoName-chan: That good, huh? Well, take a seat, ladies! We've got more Dares to attend to~!

Road: 'Kay~! *chucks Allen at Lavi and takes a seat*

Allen: *lands on Lavi harshly, causing lips to unexpectedly touch* o.o *jumps back quickly* ASDHJKJDFMCWNXVZSKJHMFYSMDSKDMHE I'M SORRY

Lavi: ….. *grabs Allen to kiss him again*

Allen: O.O

Elvira Rayne: *sits straight up* MY LAVEN SENSES ARE TINGLING.

Everyone: …

Ben-kun: Geez, how many senses does she HAVE? 0.e

NoName-chan, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *shrug and take pictures of the Laven*

Lavi: *finally releases Allen* …. 0_0

Allen: KHKJHMJDSJDHFEYSDJEYFRFDDJFDIY5VNNCEU WHAT THE HELL LAVI

Lavi: I… have no clue….. o_o

NoName-chan: *points at Lavi dramatically* THE POWERS OF FANSERVICE HAVE COMPELLED YOU!

Allen and Lavi: That… actually doesn't surprise me.

NoName-chan: Good. Moving on! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for…. TYKI~!

Tyki: *fabulous hair flip* Yes~?

NoName-chan: Your Dare reads:

"Pedo!

We dare you to have sex with Komui after making out with Lenalee for several moments in front of him!

~Slaythevampire87 and lala32903"

Tyki: O.O

Lenalee: The viewers LIKE watching Komui murder people, don't they?...

Audience: *nod*

Allen: Wait a second, this Dare is from TWO people? How is that? 0.e

NoName-chan: That's because Slaythevampire87 and lala32903 sent in very similar Dares. Vamp-san dared Tyki to have sex with Komui after kissing Lenalee in his presence, and lala-san dared him to make out with Lenalee for several moments in front of Komui. Since the Dares were so similar, I just combined them~

Lavi: You can DO that? 0.e

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with my shovel* Bitch, I can do ANYTHING~! Anyways, *claps hands*

Komui: *suddenly appears on the stage, tied up to a chair* O.O *looks around and pales* Shit, not AGAIN….. T~T

Allen and Lavi: How many times has this happened, exactly…..? 0.o

NoName-chan: *ignores them* Welp! Have at it, Tyki~

Tyki: *sigh* Come here, Lena…..

Lenalee: *walks over to him*

Lenalee and Tyki: *start making out*

Komui: ADSJKLVXJFERJJGJFRVKEC5DDEUKHJSDIHJNRIFHSDKYGKJK?/! *thrashes around angrily*

Tyki: *pulls back* …..….

Lenalee: …. That was….. interesting….….

Tyki: Yeah… I say this happens once every two months. Agreed?

Lenalee: Agreed.

Lenalee and Tyki: *shake hands on it*

Allen: Wait, but isn't he gay-

NoName-chan: MOVING ON! Tyki, take Komui to the Rape Room!

Tyki: I'm on it~! *drags tied up Komui out of the room*

Komui: *screams and thrashes*

Allen and Lavi: O.O

Lenalee: …

Road: So….. You kissed a gay guy. Good for you!

Lenalee: Thanks~! ^.^

Kanda: *kicks the door open and storms into the room*

NoName-chan: *pulls a Campbell's Tomato Soup can out of my bra and chucks it at Kanda * STOP SLAMMING MY DOOR!

Kanda: *gets hit in the head and falls from the impact* OW!

midnightstardust: *in the Audience somewhere, eating Skittles* She's so abusive… *takes notes for her Crackfic, Crackstar (Btw, if you haven't read it, GO READ IT RIGHT NOW I'M IN IT AND IT'S INCREDIBLY SEXUAL)*

Kanda: *recovers from possible concussion and stands up, rubbing his head* I hate you so much…..

NoName-chan: Love you, too! Now… *inspects Kanda's hair*

Kanda's hair: *dyed in stripes that go from his bangs to the ends of his hair and each take up 1/3 of it width-wise of gold, hot pink, and orange respectively*

NoName-chan: ….. Pfft, you look like a stripper.

Road: Hell yeah he does! *taking pictures with her Blackmail Camera*

Kanda: *tick mark* CAN WE JUST MOVE ON?!

NoName-chan: Sure, why the fuck not! *slip of paper appears in my hand* Road!

Road: Hm~?

NoName-chan: Your Dare reads:

"Road,

I Dare you to steal Krory's clothes!

~COFFIN SelleR"

Road: *holds up Krory's clothes* Pfft, way ahead of you!

*Meanwhile at the gym*

Cross: *walks into the locker room* Ah, that was a hearty buttocks workout~! *walks to his locker and freezes when he sees someone* …. Krory, why are you sitting in the corner naked?

Krory: *sniff* I-I can't find my clothes! W-Will you please help me? T~T

Cross: Pfft, no. Monstrous freak. *grabs his clothes out of his locker and leaves*

Krory: D':

*Back with the rest of us*

NoName-chan: O-kay then, let's try this again….. *another slip of paper appears in my hand* This one reads:

"Road,

I Dare you to sing Kurumi Ponchio, Len Kagamine version, with the English lyrics behind you.

~Lucy Moon-Walker"

Road: *snorts* Piece of cake~

NoName-chan: Glad you think so~ *hands Road a microphone*

Road: *takes it and steps onto the coffee table, which proceeds to turn into a Karaoke stage* Hit it~!

*Music plays*

Road: *starts singing*

"Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah!"

*Another Road appears, this one in a different manga style*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: O.O

Road's 1 and 2: "Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah"

*A third Road appears in yet another style*

Road's 1, 2, and 3: "Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah"

*Two more Road's appear in different styles*

All 5 Road's: "Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah

Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah

Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah"

Road 2: "dansee no mina-san Hatsune no Koko wa ai-te masu-yo"

Translation in Background: "Greetings, gentlemen!
I've got my oven open right now!"

Road 5: "atatame masu-ka？"

Translation: "Would you like to heat it up？"

Road's 1, 2, 3, and 4: "onegai shimasu"
"Yes, please!"

Road 1: "ima-sugu Cin shite "
"Set it on fire"

All 5 Road's: "Butkon-de!"

"and fill it up immediately!"

Road 3: "anata no "Banana""
"Your banana,"

Road 4: "watashi no "Banana""

"my banana."

Road's 3 and 4: "kawa wo mui-te tabe-chatte"
"Have them peeled and enjoy its taste."

All 5 Road's: "mada mada hoshi-i-no？ dakedo mo sorede mo
ranboo ni shicha Rame eeeeeeee!"
"You still want more？
But even so you shouldn't be too rough on it...!"

Road 4: ""Bed" no ue de undoo-kai"

"Field day is held on bed!"
Road 5: "kuro-i shigemi de tama korogashi-te"

"Roll over the ball on the black bush!"

Road 3: ""Goal" no "Paul" wa nigitte k osutte"
"Hold and rub the orb that's by the goal,"

Road 1: "itki ni tengoku"
"and send it to heaven"

All 5 Road's: "itchatte!"

"in one go!"

Road's 2 and 5: "nodo ga kawai-ta dakedo mo oko-sama
"Milk" shika nome-nai no"
"I'm thirsty already.
But I'm still a baby,
so I only can drink milk."

All 5 Road's: "tatpuri shibora-re manshin-sooi"
"Plentifully squeezed and you're ready to drop."

Road's 1, 3, and 5: "anata wa Ikemen"
"You're a hunk,"

Road's 4 and 2: "Tsuke-men"
"tsukemen,"

All 5 Road's: "boku "S○men"!"

"I'm sperm!"

Allen: Isn't this a T Rated fic-

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Lucy Moon-Walker, Lavi, Lenalee: SHHHHHH!

Road's 2 and 3: "onaka ga sui-ta-ra shot-Paipan-"Cake""

"Have some salty pancake if you've become hungry."
Road's 1, 4, and 5: "ama-sa wa okonomi de koko kara kai-dashi te"Sweet syrup""

"You could add sweetness as you like
by scraping sweet syrup from here."

Road's 2 and 5: "anata to watashi no
"Milk" to hachi-mitsu karama-se te"
"Mix your milk and my milk together,"

Road's 3 and 4: "tobit-kiri no mahoo but-kake-te"
"and then slosh the prime magic to it!"

Road 1: "himitsu no jyumon"
"The secret spell is..."

All 5 Road's: "KURUMIPONCHIO

kuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
asa-ichi kosutte shibotte sosoi-de tori-tate
itadaki-masu (Hait!)
kuuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
tatpuri gutto gyutto itki nomi!
(gotkun gotkun )

kuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
asa-dachi odoroki no shiro-sa
dorori nookoo ○○○aji (Hait!)
kuuru kuru kuru kuru
kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
nete mo samete mo itte mo wasure rare-nai no
(dotkyun dotkyun!)"
"Kurumi Ponchio!

Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
I'll have it raw and fresh by rubbing it,
squeezing it and sprinkling it firstly in the morning! (Yup!)
Kuru kuru kuru kuru po-ponchi
Chug-a-lug plentifully, soundly and firmly!
(Gulp, gulp!)
Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
Morning wood, surprisingly white, thick and sticky *** flavor!
(Yup!)
Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
It's stuck in my head, awake or asleep!
(Oh! My heartbeat!)"

NoName-chan: I'm starting to wonder if I need to up the Rating of this Show-FanFiction-Thingy…

Everyone: Probably.

Road 4: "sar sar itsu-made hitori ni suru no？"

"Hey, hey! How long are you going to leave me alone？"

Road 1: "anata no Negi wa okazari？ "No!No!""
"Is your banana just an ornament？ No! No!"

Road 5: "yuuwaku shisen de mitsume-te soo"
"Gaze at me seductively, that's right!"
Road: 2: "soo!"

"Oh,"

Road 3: "dooni-ka kooni-ka"

"I might be"

All 5 Road's: "natchai-soo"

"going nuts!"

Road 2: "todo no tsumari wa watashi wo ai-shite"

"All in all, I'm just saying to love me."

Road 3: "narifuri kamawa-zu Gyut-to shite？"

"Please embrace me tightly and strongly."

Road 4: "genki dashi-te"
"Get up your spirits!"

Road's 1, 2, 3, and 5: "○○○dashi-te"

"Get up your ***!"

All 5 Road's: "konya mo anata to "Showtime!"

miwaku no "Candy" ichi-manko name-ta ra
otona ni nare-ru kana？ chotto wa mune mo fukuramu kana？
watashi wa anata ni afure-ru ai wo sosoi-de hoshi-i n dayo
omoit-kiri ima sakebi tai"
"It's showtime tonight again!

If I lick ten thousand ice creams of charm (SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK!),
I wonder if I could be growing up.
Would my **** grow a little bigger also？
I want you to fill me with overflowing love.
I want to shout out with all my might right at this moment."

Road 1: "dakara haya-ku"

"So just hurry and"

All 5 Road's: "buchi-make-te

kuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
kyoo-mo itpatsu nihatsu sanpatsu yonpatsu
"Endless!" (Hait!)
kuuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
kore-ijoo wa moo muri nante yowane haka-nai no
mada mada iku-yo!？
kuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
kake-te zetchoo! choozetsu!
afure-ru gurai no "Love shower" (Hait!)
kuuru kuru kuru kuru kuru miru kuru miru potponchi
zenbu nokosa-zu dashi-te yo Pero-rin-cho
motto shiboro toru ne Pat-kun-cho
soshite ai wo kome-te Got-kun-cho
(sar minasan goitsho nit!)"

"fill me up!

Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th...endless round again today!
(Yup!)
Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
Already burned out？ No complaining, mister!
(Not ending yet!)
Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
Sprinkle extreme! Supreme! Overflowing love shower!
(Yup!)
Kuru-kuru kuru-kuru po-ponchi
Serve them all out, I'll drink them all up!
I'll squeeze more out for you!
And drink it up with love!
Gulp!"

All 5 Road's: "Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah!

Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah-yeah!
Dub-i dub-i chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-you dub-you dub-you-yeah!

Dub-I Dub-I Dub-I Chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-You Dub-You Dub-You-yeah-yeah
Dub-I Dub-I Dub-I Chu-ppa-ppa
Dub-You Dub-You Dub-You-yeah!"

*Music ends*

Audience: *wide eyes and very hesitant applause*

Road: *grins and bows*

NoName-chan: *sighs* I hope that was figurative enough that I don't have to up the rating….. Anyways, excellent job, Road! Now get the hell off my table! ^.^

Road: *smirks and jumps off the karaoke stage*

Karaoke Stage: *changes back into a coffee table*

NoName-chan: Now, let's-

Tyki: *sashays back into the room* I'm ba~ck!

NoName-chan: Oh, hey, Tyki- Wait, where's Komui? 0.o

Tyki: Oh, after I finished raping him, some government officials came and took him away. Something about a heist? I dunno.

NoName-chan's Thoughts: 'Shit, they found out!"

NoName-chan: O-Oh, well! T-That's terrible! And surely had no connection to me or a cult of any kind whatsoever! Heh! HehHeh! Heh…. 0_0

Tyki: *raises an eyebrow at me* O-kay then… Weirdo… Anyways, what'd I miss~?

Road: Me singing "Kurumi Ponchio" by Len Kagamine for my Dare.

Tyki: *GASP* YOU SANG THAT WITHOUT ME?! HOW COULD YOU?! I LOVE THAT SONG!

*A moment of silence*

Tyki: … I mean… "Okay." *reclaims his seat on the blue couch*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: ….. What the-

NoName-chan: MOVING ON! *slip of paper appears in my hand* As you all probably know, this last one is for Lavi!

Lavi: *still duck taped to the chair from Lenalee's Dare* I hate my life.

NoName-chan: It reads:

"LAVIIIIIIIIIIIIII~!-

Lavi: I already know who this is from…..

NoName-chan:

-D'awwww, you're so cute! (NoName-chan: FOCUS, PIÑA, FOCUS!) Ahem, sorry! ANYWAYS! I Dare you to do the tongue twister "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers" 10 times fast. If you do it... Uhhh, I'll hug you! (Even though I'll do it anyway….)

~Pineapplebombgirl"

Lavi: *raises an eyebrow* A tongue twister? That's IT?

NoName-chan: Well, yeah, but tongue twisters aren't easy, and-

Lavi: *clear, monotone voice* Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: O.O

NoName-chan: ….. Damn, Bunny-Boy, you've got some skill…..

Lavi: Well, I AM a Bookman after all. I could do a tongue twister in my sleep!

NoName-chan: That's nice. Anyways, PIÑA! YOUR BUNNY DID IT!

*Silence*

NoName-chan: ….. Piña?

Lenalee: Where is she? O.o

Lavi: Yeah, shouldn't she be here squeezing the oxygen out of me? Not that I'm complaining-

NoName-chan: *hits Lavi over the head with my shovel* BE NICE TO YOUR FANGIRLS! Anyways, I don't know where she is!

Kanda: I do.

Lenalee: Really? Where?

Kanda: Just wait for it….. *pops popcorn in his mouth*

Allen: What do you mean by tha-

*The door slams open*

Pineapplebombgirl: *runs in, her entire body on fire* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! TT_TT

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *GAPE* O_O

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with my shovel* OH MY GOD, YOU SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE WITH HER STILL IN THERE?!

Kanda: Problem?

Lenalee: SOMEONE DO SOMETHING! O_O

Ben-kun: I'M A PONY! ^-^ *spins into a wall*

NoName-chan: *slams hands down on the coffee table* THAT'S IT! I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! PIÑA, EITHER HUG LAVI OR GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU SET THE AUDIENCE ON FIRE AGAIN!

Pineapplebombgirl: *freezes* Did somebody say LAVI~? *looks at Lavi*

Lavi: *pales* Oh no… o_o

Pineapplebombgirl: LAVIIIIIIIII~! *runs toward him*

Lavi: NONONONONONONO… O_O *thrashes around in his binds*

Pineapplebombgirl: KYA~! *glomps Lavi, setting him on fire*

Lavi: *SCREEEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMMM*

Kanda and Road: *laugh their asses off*

Allen, Lenalee, Tyki: *whirl around to look at me* WHAT THE HELL, NONAME-CHAN?! O_O

NoName-chan: YOU CHICKEN MCNUGGETS ARE TOO LOUD! *hits Ben over the head with my shovel*

Ben-kun: OW! DX

Allen and Lenalee: DO SOMETHING!

NoName-chan: WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Tyki: *hits me upside the head with a rolled up newspaper* DAMN IT, THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD PAIR OF BOOTY SHORTS AT STAKE HERE!

Allen and Lenalee: What about Lavi and Piña-

Tyki: FIX THIS RIGHT NOW OR I'M NEVER GETTING FACIALS WITH YOU EVER AGAIN!

NoName-chan: Damn it- FINE, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS! *grabs Ben by the ear* Alright, Ben-kun! What do we do when a Chaoji appears?

Ben-kun: WE SPIT ON IT! :D

NoName-chan: Show me how we spit on it!

Ben-kun: *starts spitting heavily*

NoName-chan: *wipes spit off my face* Augh- Ew- Gross! KEEP IT UP, BEN-KUN! *flings him at Piña and Lavi*

Ben-kun: *spits on the fire*

Fire: *goes out*

Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Tyki: 0.o

Road: Huh, so that DOES work…

NoName-chan: GOOD JOB, BEN-KUN! NOW, GET THE SNACK! *throws a dog treat across the stage*

Ben-kun: YAY~! *chases after the treat*

Lavi: *panting heavily* Oh… Thank… God… O_O

Pineapplebombgirl: Lavi~! ^-^ *squeezes the life out of him*

Lavi: *COUGH, HACK, WHEEZE*

NoName-chan: Alright, Piña, we need to move on! Release the bunny!

Pineapplebombgirl: Awwwwwww! Okay…. *lets go of Lavi and sits in a random seat in the Audience*

Lavi: *sobs* I hate my life…. TT_TT

Tyki: Awww, don't be like that! Hey! On the bright side, the fire burned through your duck tape binds!

Lavi: Huh? *stands up, no longer taped to the chair* Oh, hey, it did! *walks back to his spot on the couch*

NoName-chan: *wipes sweat from my brow* That was probably the longest Dare Round in the history of DGS…..

Ben-kun: *sitting next to me on the red couch again, chewing on his treat* I'll say! It's been over 7,000 words, and we've only done one round!

NoName-chan: *looks at watch* HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE RIGHT! Okay, we need to move things along quickly! So, next….. The Question Round!

Kanda: Just like every day…

NoName-chan: *slip of paper appears in my hand* Alright, first Question's for….. Lenalee!

Lenalee: Whoa, it's my turn first? That's a first…..

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Dear Lenalee,

Do you have romantic feelings toward any of your fellow Exorcists?

~COFFIN SelleR"

Lenalee: Why would you want to know THAT? 0.o I mean, it's not like any of them and I would ever end up dating! Hell, I'm sure that this Question hasn't appeared in any of their minds ONCE!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: ….. Well, DO you? *lean closer*

Lenalee: *sighs* Well, to answer your Question, yes. Yes I do.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: Really? WHO? *on the edge of their seats in anticipation*

Lenalee: *teasing wink* That's my secret~

NoName-chan: Wow, you're worse about cliffhangers than I am with my mystery fic, "Music Box." Anyways, with that Question answered, let's move on!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: WAIT, BUT-

NoName-chan: *hits them over the heads with my shovel* I SAID LET'S MOVE ON! *another slip of paper appears in my hand* Alright, this one's for…. Allen!

Allen: Shit.

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Allen!

Can you take me on a date at least once a week? X3

~Lucy Moon-Walker"

Allen: She's STILL asking this?

NoName-chan: Just answer the Question, Walker.

Allen: …. But wait, if I say yes, won't Yuno-chan nuke Canada or something?

Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki, Road: Most likely.

Allen: But if I don't, then Lucy will probably take over Europe and start a World War…..

Lucy Moon-Walker: *nods her head*

Allen: Hm…. What's worse: Canada's obliteration or the deaths of millions worldwide?... Hmmmmmm….. *strokes invisible beard methodically*

NoName-chan: *hits Allen over the head with my shovel* JUST CHOOSE, DAMN IT!

Allen: OW! Okay, okay! I guess….. Yes?

Lucy Moon-Walker: YAYYYYY~! *has a fangasm in her seat*

Canadian Audience Members: *pale*

Allen: Oh god, here it comes… *hides behind the couch*

*Several moments of dramatic suspense pass with stress building up more and more and- Nothing…?*

NoName-chan, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *blink blink*

Allen: Wait….. Shouldn't we be able to hear the booming destruction of Canada by now?

Everybody: *look at Yuno in unison*

Yuno-chan: *casually sipping strawberry milk* Ah, so delicious~

Audience: ….

Allen: Aren't… you going to, like….. massacre Canada now?

Yuno-chan: *raises an eyebrow* No…. Why would I do that?

Allen: Because I just agreed to take Lucy out on at least one date a week? o_o

Yuno-chan: So?

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: ….. *look at me for an explanation*

NoName-chan: HEY! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS LOOKING AT ME?! I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!

Yuno-chan: Actually, yes you did.

NoName-chan: Wait, WHAT? o_o

Yuno-chan: *siiigh* Okay, let me explain: Remember when I was reading your stories and I told you that I loved the KandaxChristina pairing in "The Golden Rose"?

NoName-chan: Yeah?

Yuno-chan: Well, after that, I started reading more KandaxOC stories, and I realized something: *glomps Kanda*

Kanda: OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKGETTHISCREATUREOFFOFME

Yuno-chan: I'm a Kanda fangirl~! ^-^

*A moment of silence*

Everybody: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

Yuno-chan: Well, yeah! NoName-chan told me from the beginning that my Allen obsession was probably just a phase anyway~

NoName-chan: WHAT… BUT… YOU… ALL THESE FIGHTS HAPPENED BECAUSE… AND WE CRASHED VIRA'S ABOMINATION OF A CAR BECAUSE YOU… I HATE EVERYTHING! *slams face into the coffee table*

Yuno-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: ….

Road: *pokes me with a stick* Shit, Yuno-chan, I think you broke her…

Yuno-chan: Teehee ^-^

NoName-chan: *shakily sits up* No, no, I'm fine… just dying of hypocrisy, no biggie….

Kanda: *tries to pry Yuno off of him to no avail* WILL SOMEBODY GET THIS THING OFF OF ME?!

NoName-chan: Yeah, Yeah. YUNO-CHAN! IF YOU RELEASE KANDA RIGHT NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU A RINGPOP NEXT TIME WE HANG OUT!

Yuno-chan: *freezes* Ring Pop? YAYZ~! *unlatches herself from Kanda*

Kanda: *sighs in relief*

NoName-chan: Well, Yuno-chan, since I don't think I'll be able to resist the urge to facepalm if I look at you any longer, wanna go back to your seat now?

Yuno-chan: Sure~! Just lemme say one more thing: Although I will accept this for now, my OTP has become Laven. I WILL make sure they end up in the cupboard together no matter what. And if these petty AllenxOC dates go any further than just that, I won't be nuking Canada. I'll be nuking the entire South American continent. Ciao~! ^-^ *skips back to her seat in the Audience*

Everybody: O_O

South Americans: *sob*

NoName-chan: Um….. Okay… Let's just…. move on….. *slip of paper appears in my hand* This Question's for…. Road~!

Road: *grins*

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Road,

Would you kill Tyki if he burned ALL your candy?

~Sparkle-de-Cat"

Road: *super serious face* Yes. Yes I would.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee: *silence* o_o

Tyki: … Well. It's a good thing I burned Skinn's candy instead, huh? ^.^

*MEANWHILE WITH SKINN*

Cashier: Alright, will that be credit or debit? ^.^

Skinn: Debit- *freezes and drops his card*

Cashier: Oh my god, are you okay, Sir? o.o

Skinn: Yeah… It's just…. I don't know why, but I suddenly have the strange urge to kill Tyki…

Cashier: Don't worry, I'm sure it's just a weird fetish or something! ^.^

*BACK WITH THE REST OF US*

Yuno-chan: *sits straight up in her seat* MY REFERENCE SENSES ARE TINGLING!

Elvira Rayne: YOU HAVE THOSE, TOO?!

NoName-chan: SHUT UP, YUNO-CHAN, NOBODY GETS THAT REFERENCE BUT YOU! Anyways, moving on! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for…. Tyki~!

Tyki: *crosses his legs sassily* Hm~?

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Tyki,

High heels or boots?

~Pineapplebombgirl"

Tyki: Trick question! Heeled boots~

Pineapplebombgirl: *snaps her fingers* Ah, I should've known that!

Tyki: Yes, you should've! But you designed an entire fashion show for me once, so I can forgive you.

Pineapplebombgirl: Yay! ^.^

NoName-chan: Alrighty then…. Moving on! *slip of paper appears in my hand* This one's for…. Lavi~!

Lavi: *still smoking from the fire* Haven't I been through enough for one day? e.e

NoName-chan: Nope! Your Question reads:

"Lavi,

If you had to choice, would you rather be called 'Lavi-Nii or 'Lavi-senpai'?

~Lucy Moon-Walker"

Lavi: Lavi-senpai. For one, I'd rather the ladies be seeing me as their upperclassman than their brother, and secondly, 'senpai' sounds WAY more shoujo!

Allen, Kanda, Lenalee: 0.o

NoName-chan: Moving on~! *slip of paper appears in my hand* As you all probably know, this one's for Kanda!

Kanda: Fuck you.

NoName-chan: Maybe after some shots~ Anyways, it reads:

"Kanda,

Why do you look so feminine?

~Elvira Rayne"

Kanda: *tick mark* WHY YOU LITTLE-

Elvira Rayne: Teehee I'm a squirrel! ^-^ *starts flapping her arms and falls backwards over her seat*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: …

NoName-chan: So….. Why do you look so feminine…?

Kanda: Because shut up.

NoName-chan: Good enough. ALRIGHT, NEXT LET'S DO….. THE RANDOMNESS ROUND~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *GROAN*

Road: *grins*

Lenalee: *looks around* Hey, where'd Ben-kun go? He hasn't said anything in a while…

NoName-chan: *waves my hand to dismiss the topic* Eh, don't worry, I'm sure he's just backstage swallowing Hotwheels or something. Anyways, *box of Randomness Popsicle Sticks appears on my lap* Let's get started~! First….. let's have Tyki~! *chooses a popsicle stick and reads the writing on it* Your Randomness is…. A Double Question!

Tyki: Um…. What's that again?

NoName-chan: It means you have more than one Question! I think! I can't really remember to be honest, but whatever! Your first Question reads:

"Tyki,

U-um, this sounds really weird, but want to go on a date with me/go shopping? *blushes*

~Magicsinger"

Tyki: Sure, hon~! We can get shoes and mani/pedis together! ^.^

Magicsinger: YAYZ~! *celebrates in the Audience*

Allen: Wait, what? Tyki's shown affection to 2 females in one day? Is the apocalypse upon us or something? e.e

NoName-chan: *ignores Allen* Excellent! Alright, your other Question reads:

"Tyki,

Are you really a perv or are you just a flirt?

~Mokatty"

Allen: Perv.
Lavi: Perv.

Road: Perv.
Kanda: Perv.

Lenalee: Perv.

Tyki: I didn't even open my mouth…..

NoName-chan: Pfft loser. But it IS your Question, so you might as well answer it.

Tyki: Okay, well to answer your Question, Mokatty, I'm a bit of both~

Mokatty: *nods her head* Ah, that makes sense…

NoName-chan: OKAY, next Randomness! Let's go ahead and have…. Road!

Road: *smirks*

NoName-chan: *selects a popsicle stick* Alright, Road, you have… A Bundle Question!

Tyki: Oh, is that the same thing as mine? :D

NoName-chan: Sort of! It's the same, except both questions are from the same person! Anyway, the Questions read:

"Road,

What's your favorite and least favorite color?

~the3leonine"

Road: Pfft, that's easy! Favorite is purple and least favorite is Tyki~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: Wait, what-

NoName-chan : MOVING ON! Next, let's go ahead and have… Kanda!

Kanda: You smell like a sewer.

NoName-chan: Go fuck yourself with a cactus~ Anyway, *selects a popsicle stick* Your Randomness is…. Another Dare!

Kanda: Fuck.

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Kanda,

I Dare you to run around and say random whatever for five minutes.

~Mokatty"

Kanda: "random whatever"?

NoName-chan: *shrugs* I guess just start foaming at the mouth or something….?

Kanda: Got it. *starts running around the DGS Stage Room* ADSFGHJIAWHXDHKEKJFESUKJWSNJSKZJNMFXRZMWERXREQMEUURZMXJL?/!

NoName-chan: We'll check on him again in 5 minutes~ In the meantime… Lavi!

Lavi: Whaaaaat? T_T

NoName-chan: *selects a popsicle stick* Your randomness is… Another Dare~! ^.^

Lavi: *pales*

NoName-chan: It reads:

"Lavi,

I Dare you to keep your hair down for the rest of the show!

~Shirubagure"

Lavi: That's… actually not bad at all… *pulls off his bandana*

Lavi Fangirls: *SQUEAL*

Allen and Tyki: WHOA, WHOA, WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE! WHY DOES HE GET THE EASY ONE?!

Kanda: IJASHDKIKSNALKDNKEMSJFVARMEJMJJWVNWERMRNJVKANGRFJDVKECWK?/!

NoName-chan: *hits them all over the heads with my shovel* BECAUSE I'M SEXUAL AND I SAID SO NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP! Anyways, moving on! Next let's have… Allen!

Allen: *siiigh*

NoName-chan: *picks up a popsicle stick, but ends up picking up two stuck together* …..

Lenalee: AGAIN? O.e

NoName-chan: *grumbles under my breath* Shitty ass popsicle stick company….. *suddenly grins* Well, we all know what this means…

Allen: *eyes widen. Pales* Oh shit monkeys….

NoName-chan: ALLEN GETS BOTH RANDOMNESSES~!

Allen: *slams his face down on the coffee table* I HATE MY LIFE.

NoName-chan: *smirks at his pain* Well, let's get started~! *pulls apart the popsicle sticks and reads the writing on one of them* Your first Randomness is… A QUADRUPLE DARE~!

Allen: ….. What's that?

NoName-chan: It means your Dare is for you and 3 other people!

Allen: *pales* Oh shit… o_o

NoName-chan: *grins* It reads:

"Allen,

I Dare you to have a foursome with Tyki, Lavi, and Kanda.

~LunarRazorblade20"

Allen and Lavi: WHAT?! O_O

Lenalee: *NOSEBLEED*

Road: *bursts out laughing*

Kanda: KJSDBADFJIUHVKUEJIRGNTKRSKNJDNRFW4DRFHS5TUGHNH5UGTVSKJTRV?/!

Tyki: …. YAY~!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *stare at Tyki* Fuck you.

NoName-chan: You're gonna be fucking him in a second~ Speaking of… *looks at watch* Kanda's Randomness will be over in 3… 2… 1!

Kanda: *stops running and walks back onto the stage* Oh thank god, I was getting tired…

Road: *snorts* You can kill a Noah, but you can't even handle a 5 minute run, Pretty Boy?

Kanda: *glares at her* Shut the fuck up, you got stabbed by Lavi.

Lavi: What's that supposed to mean…? O.e

Road: *slow shrug* Just makes me want to play with him again~

Lavi: *shudders*

NoName-chan: Well, guys? To the Consensual Sex Room with you! *pulls a lever on the side of the couch I'm on*

*The floor suddenly opens up to a chute leading to the Consensual Sex room under the guys*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *fall down into the chute* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

NoName-chan: *looks at Road* I think you better go with them, too, Ya know, for "proof"?

Road: *grins and holds up her Blackmail Camera* I'm on it~ *jumps down into the cute after the guys*

NoName-chan: *pulls the lever again*

*Floor closes back up*

NoName-chan: *brushes my hands together in a "job well done" way* Well, that should preoccupy them for awhile~!

Lenalee: Yeah, but… *looks around* Now it's just us…

NoName-chan: *looks around* You're right… *shrugs* Well, whatever! We can just go ahead and do your Randomness while they're gone! ^.^

Lenalee: Okay! ^.^

NoName-chan: *selects a popsicle stick and reads it. Grins* Oh, this is precious!

Lenalee: *raises an eyebrow* What? O.o

NoName-chan: Your Randomness is a Torture! It reads:

"LenaLady!

Watch all your shoes get burned! :D

~Pineapplebombgirl and NoName-chan"

Lenalee: *SHRIEK* WHAT?! D:

NoName-chan: *chuckles*I don't even remember writing this… But if Piña and I wrote it together, I'm sure it was fun! Either that, or she wrote it and I just wrote my name on it because I liked it… Hm… Ah, whatever! Piña, get up here!

Pineapplebombgirl: *walks onto the stage* Hi, kleine~! ^.^

NoName-chan: Hey, nee-chan! Ready to burn some shoes? :)

Pineapplebombgirl: Yeah, let's do this! :D

NoName-chan: Alright~! *looks at Lenalee* Now, hand over your shoes!

Lenalee: *clutches a huge pile of shoes protectively* HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

NoName-chan: *scolding tone* Lenalee…

Lenalee: *whimpers* B-But… T~T

NoName-chan: No 'but's! Everyone else has to do their Randomnesses, and so do you! Hand them over!

Lenalee: *hangs her head in defeat and reluctantly gives me the pile, sniffling slightly*

NoName-chan: Good girl. *puts the shoes on the coffee table* Now, BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: *pokes his head out from the curtains hiding backstage with a Hotwheel car in his mouth* What?

NoName-chan: I need your help, that's what! Get over here!

Ben-kun: *swallows the Hotwheel before walking over to sit in his spot on the red couch* What is it, nee-chan?

NoName-chan: I need a lighter to burn Lenalee's shoes.

Ben-kun: Got it! *puts his hand under his mouth and starts gagging until he hacks something up and hands it to me*

NoName-chan: *looks at the object* Ben-kun, I said a lighter, not a screwdriver!

Ben-kun: Oh, sorry! *takes the screwdriver back from me and swallows it againbefore hacking up a lighter and handing it to me*

NoName-chan: Thank you! *looks at Piña* Would you like to do the honors~?

Pineapplebombgirl: Sure! ^.^ *takes the lighter from me and sets Lenalee's mountain of shoes on fire*

Lenalee: *Sobs loudly at the sight* My beautiful shoes! TT_TT

NoName-chan: *looks at the roaring fire* 'Tis truly a shame… *pulls out a pack of graham crackers, several Hershey's bars, and a bag of marshmallows* Who wants to make S'mores~? ^-^

Ben-kun and Pineapplebombgirl: *hands shoot in the air* :D

*15 minutes of sobbing and S'more-eating later*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Road, Tyki: *walk in* WE'RE BACK- *see smoking remnants of Lenalee's shoe mountain and the tear flushed face of Lenalee herself* ….

Road: *looks at me* Aw, you did that Torture without me?!

NoName-chan: *swallows last S'more* Sorry...

Pineapplebombgirl: *swallows her last S'more* Ah, delicious~ Well, my work here is done. Ciao~! ^.^ *returns to her seat in the Audience*

NoName-chan: *looks at the others* Well, guys? Take a seat~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Road, Tyki: 'Kay! *head back to the blue couch*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *limping heavily*

Ben-kun: What happened to them? O.o

Road: *smirks* What do you THINK happened to them~?

Ben-kun: Oh… OH… But wait, why isn't Tyki limping? 0.o

NoName-chan and Road: Because NOBODY tops Tyki.

Ben-kun: o.o

Tyki: *winks at him flirtatiously*

Lenalee: *seemingly realizes something and immediately brightens up* Wait, Road… Did you get the video…? :D

Road: *grins and holds up her Blackmail camera* Hell yeah I did~

Lenalee: *SQUEAL* YAY~! :D

NoName-chan: *smiles at them warmly before grinning* Welp, now that she's better, it's time for Allen's other Randomness~! *pulls the other popsicle stick out of my bra*

Lavi: O.e Do you keep everything in there…?

NoName-chan: Pretty much, yeah. *pulls a soda out of my bra* I've also got Cokes, want one?

Lavi: I think I'll pass…

NoName-chan: Suit yourself *cracks open the coke and sips it* Ahhh~ Anyways, Allen?

Allen: *siiigh* Well, it's not like it can get any worse than what I just went through, so might as well…

NoName-chan: *smirks* We'll see about that… Anyway, your second Randomness is… A Combo Dare~!

Allen: *remembers the Combo Dares he's done with Kanda in the past and pales* Oh god…

NoName-chan: *grins* It reads:

"Allen!

I Dare you and Kanda to act out a _ while everyone else has to try and guess what's happening!

~lala32903"

Allen: A what? 0.o

NoName-chan: Well, I couldn't just say it! That'd give away the answer! But, both of you, come here so I can tell you!

Allen and Kanda: *walk over to me with raised eyebrows*

NoName-chan: *whispers something in their ears*

Allen and Kanda: *pale* WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *grins* You heard me. Come on, it's not like you'll actually be doing the thing, just acting it out! Think of it like a game of charades! ^.^

Allen and Kanda: OH HELL NO!

NoName-chan: Do it or face my shovel, you defiant little whores~! ^-^

Allen and Kanda: *freeze* That smile was a little too enthusiastic to be healthy… Alright, alright, we'll do it! *stomp to the middle of the stage grumpily*

NoName-chan: *smirks* Pay attention, everyone! This is gonna be good~!

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *watch intently*

Kanda: *takes a deep breath before spontaneously dropping to the floor and squirming, kicking the air violently*

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.e IS HE HAVINGA FUCKING SEIZURE?!

Kanda: *groans slightly before opening his mouth and shouting* AKJASDHEMJARE- *choking noises*

Lenalee: It sounds like someone just shoved a grapefruit down his throat 0.e

Kanda: *GAAAAASP. Pants heavily, glaring at the ceiling, before gritting his teeth and alternating between groaning and choking*

Tyki: *shakes his head* I think he's finally lost it… Such a shame, too, he had FABULOUS hair…

Everyone except the choking Kanda: *staaaaaaaare*

Tyki: Oh, don't look at me like that, he uses L'Oreal!

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Whatever, just pay attention!

Allen: *walks by and inhales dramatically deeply through his nose. Eyes shoot wide* It can't be… *starts wandering around*

Kanda: ASKANDSAKRCNE- *grooooaaaannnnn*

Allen: Um… hello? e.e

*Silence*

Allen: *hissing in a whisper to Kanda* Oi, BaKanda! You're on sound effects!

Kanda: *whisper hissing back* Like hell I am I look enough like a rabid squirrel as it is!

Lavi: *looks at me* Are they allowed to interrupt their own scene like this…?

NoName-chan: *slow shrug* Why the fuck not?

Allen: It's just gonna get worse for me!

Kanda: …. *REALLY LOUD NOISE SOUNDING LIKE THE LAUGH OF A VIBRATING FERRET ON STEROIDS*

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: JESUS CHRIST, IS THAT A FUCKING GREMLIN?! O.e

Kanda: *more choking noises followed by silence*

Allen: *activates Crown Clown and runs up to Kanda*

Kanda: *glaaaaaare*

Allen: …. The fu- Kanda?

Kanda: *HACK COUGH CHOKE VIBRATING FERRET ON STEROIDS NOISE*

Allen: ….

Kanda: *GURGLE GURGLE*

Allen: KANDA! *head toward him before abruptly freezing*

Kanda: BEANSPROUT… *hack wheeze* GET THE HELL OUT-

Allen: But-

Kanda: BITCH DO NOT INTERRUPT ME THAT WAS MY LINE! NOW AS I WAS SAYING, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE I CAN HANDLE MYSELF!

Allen: But… *spontaneously starts floating sideways*

Ben-kun, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.e WHAT THE HEL-

Allen: MMMMMMMMMMPH!

Kanda: BEANSPROUT!

Allen: *starts flailing. HACK COUGH GURGLE CHOKE. Innocence deactivates. Goes limp and falls to the floor with a loud THUD*

Kanda: *HUMMMMMMM* ALLE- *VIBRATING FERRET ON STEROIDS NOISE*

Tyki: *snaps his fingers* OH, I KNOW! IT'S A SHAKE WEIGHT COMMERCIAL!

Everyone: ….

Kanda: *PUUURRRRRRRRR HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Allen: KANDA! *reaches for him dramatically*

Kanda: Ghhhhhhh…

Allen: KANDA- *GAG GURGLE COUGH HACK*

Kanda: *SPISHHHHHHH*

Allen: *opens his legs wide, flaunting his ass at Kanda*

Kanda: *sits up to stare at it*

Lenalee and Tyki: I like where this is going…

Allen: HNNNNNNNNN NUUUUUUU LOOK AWEYYYYYYY!

Kanda: *STAAAAAAAARE*

Allen: NNNNNNNGH BITCH WHAT DID I JUST SAYYYYYYYYY?!

Kanda: *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE*

Allen: I HATE YOUUUUUUU!

Kanda: *licks lips sensually*

Allen: *pounces on Kanda, hovering a bit above his stomach. Gag gurgle* Kahn..daaaaaaah….

Tyki: Yep, definitely a Shake Weight commercial-

Lavi: Please shut up.

Kanda: *VIBRATING FERRET ON STEROIDS NOISE. Squirms- HACK COUGH CHOKE*

Allen: *slams his ass down on Kanda's stomach* AKSJEEWGUFWHRIOGYFO4HKG45UMUTRGKHERGKFJBRCUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH?/!

Kanda: OOF- *MUCH MORE REALISTIC HACK COUGH WHEEZE* YOU… LITTLE… SHIT…

Allen: *COUGH GURGLE CHOKE*

Kanda: EXCUSE YOU I'M TRYING TO BREATHE HERE WHY THE HELL DID YOU FUCKING BOWL YOUR ASS ONTO MY GUT?!

Allen: MAH TUMMEH'S GUNNA BURST!

Lavi: That's what she said-

NoName-chan: *hits him in the face with my shovel*

Kanda: WHAT THE HELL- ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!

Allen: AHAHSDGSUYFGUJXFERHKTUHRE65VKHURFCJ5UENFXEJRMGBXREHNFXJERHBCEJWBH?/!

Kanda: THAT'S IT! KYAH! *tackles Allen and starts punching him*

Allen: *squirms* OW! OW! WHAT THE HELL- OW! STOP!

Kanda: DIE! *unsheathes Mugen*

Allen: OH SHI- *activates Crown Clown and runs for it*

Kanda: *sprints after him* GET BACK HERE!

Everyone else: …

NoName-chan: …. *clears throat* AHEM, well… It appears that their Combo Dare is over… *looks at the others* SO! What are your guesses~?

Tyki: I still stand with my earlier statements, this was a Shake Weight Commercial.

NoName-chan: …. Riiiight….. *looks at Lenalee* What about you?

Lenalee: Um… It was kinda confusing actually…. Well, it sounded like they were both drowning through most of it… And then maybe when Allen buttslammed Kanda's gut, it was CPR… But….. *looks at the two, still in a predator and prey race* I have no clue whatsoever what the hell this is….

NoName-chan: Fair answer. Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: I LIKE TURTLES! *slams his face down on the coffee table*

NoName-chan: Good enough. Lavi?

Lavi: Well, I'm with Lenalee on the whole "it was confusing" thing, but I think- *gets hit in the face with a flying boot*

Allen: *stumbling away from Kanda, missing one shoe* L-LEAVE ME ALONE, KAND- AHHHHH!

Kanda: *unleashes a swarm of Hell Insects*

Allen: *SHRIEK. Stumbles backwards more before tripping over – …. Oh for the love of god – Ben, who's doing the worm, and falls on his ass*

Ben-kun: *starts flopping like a tuna* I LIKE CHEESE~! ^-^

NoName-chan: Goddamn it- BEN-KUN, SIT DOWN!

Ben-kun: WHEEEEEEEE~! *rolls off the stage*

Kanda: *slowly, but menacingly approaches Allen*

Allen: *G-gulp* W-What are you going t-to do with me? o_o

Kanda: *pauses for a moment, seemingly pondering this, before getting an evil grin on his face. The Hell Insects line up to form a long chain*

Allen: W-What are you- *realization. Pales* Oh no… NO NO NO NO NO… O_O

Kanda: *smirks and drags Allen away into a nearby closet*

Allen: *screams and flails for help*

Kanda: *closes the door behind them eerily, locking them and the Hell Insect chain inside*

*Several moments of silence pass*

Everybody: …. *look at me for an explanation*

NoName-chan: *chuckling darkly* Oh, this is perfect…

Lenalee: What is? O.o

Lavi: And care to explain what the hell is going on here? o.e

Road: *laughing her ass off* Oh, I can tell you~

Lenalee: Really? Than please do… 0.o

Road: Allen and Kanda's charade act was acting out a Yullen tentacle smut fic. However, they kept arguing over who was doing sound effects and getting the lines wrong, so that's what all those angry whisper hisses and exclamations were. In the end, however, at the part when Allen and Kanda were actually doing the do, Allen "slammed down" too hard, and since it was just acting, he hit Kanda in the gut. Kanda then got pissed at him for continuing acting without listening to his angry screeches, so he attacked him. And here we are~

Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: o_o How in the hell…

NoName-chan and Road: Magic~ *wink*

Lenalee: *shakes her head* But wait, there's still one more thing I don't understand: What the hell is happening in that closet right now? *points to the closed door of the closet Allen and Kanda disappeared into*

Road: Oh, that's easy. Kanda made his Hell Insects into a tentacle to rape Allen with for revenge.

*A moment of silence*

Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WHAT?!

NoName-chan: *bursts out laughing* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH, T-THAT'S- *wipes a tear from one eye* THAT'S JUST PRICELESS! X'D THERE BETTER BE VIDEO CAMERAS IN THERE, ROAD!

Road: *grins* You really believe I didn't think to install some earlier~?

NoName-chan: *returns her grin with a matching one* Perfect~

Lavi: O_O Y-You guys are sick. That is disgusting and degrading and-

Lenalee and Tyki: *skip around in joy* YAY FOR YAOI~! YAY FOR YAOI~! ^.^

Lavi: I hate you all sometimes… -_-;;;

NoName-chan: Awww, we hate you, too~! :) *grins* Anyways, now that the Randomness Round is over, let's do… The Torture Round~!

Lavi: Fuck.

Road: *smirks* Bring it on~

Tyki: *girly sigh* I guess we're gonna have to get it over with eventually….

Lenalee: *tilts head* Will there be yaoi?

NoName-chan: Probably~

Lenalee and Tyki: *jump in joy* YAY~!

NoName-chan: So, let's get started~! *pulls a remote out of my bra and pushes a button, making the table turn into our Wheel of Torture* Road, care to start us off~?

Road: *grins* My pleasure~ *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the slip of paper on the section the wheel landed on and reads it* Road, your Torture reads:

"Do all your homework without asking anyone to do it for you or asking for help."

Tyki: *throws his hands up in celebration* WOO HOO!

Lavi: Who sent THAT? 0.o

NoName-chan: TriforceNinja.

Road: *throws head back in complaint* Awwwwwwwwwww but I don't waaaaaannnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

NoName-chan: *puts a hand on her shoulder pityingly* Sorry, Road, but a Torture's a Torture. When you get home, you're gonna have to do all of your homework.

Road: *SIIIIIIGH* Fiiiiiiine!

NoName-chan: Good. Anyways, *looks at the others* next let's have… Lavi~!

Lavi: Goddamn it. *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the slip of paper* It reads:

"Eat a gallon of wasabi since I heard it's your least favorite food."

Lavi: *GASP* O_O

NoName-chan and Road: *burst out laughing*

Lenalee: Who sent THAT? O.e

NoName-chan: the3leonine.

Lavi: Why do the fans hate me so much? TT_TT

Tyki: Awwww, don't be afraid, Bunny Boy! My kisses will make it all better! ^.^ *pulls Lavi close and kisses him*

Lavi: *pushes Tyki away, gagging* OH GOD WHERE'S THE WASABI I NEED TO BURN MY MOUTH OFF!

NoName-chan: *Holds up a 1 gallon jug of wasabi* Got you covered!

Lavi: GIMME THAT! *snatches the jug from me and chugs it*

Tyki: …. My kisses aren't THAT bad…..

NoName-chan, Audience, Road: Yes they are.

Lavi: *pulls the jug away from his lips, tears streaming down his face* Ah, much better….. *passes out from the extreme spiciness*

Lenalee and Tyki: O_O

Road: .… HA.

NoName-chan: *nudges him with my foot* Lavi? Lavi? Laviiiiiii? Helloooooo?

Lavi: *a tiny bit of blood streams out of his mouth*

NoName-chan, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: …..

Road: Shit, I think you killed him….

NoName-chan: Damn it, that's the third time this week…..

Tyki: *bursts out crying and pummels me* YOU BASTARD! HE WAS MY CUTE LITTLE BUNNY BABY! TT_TT

Lenalee: Tyki's right! You're throwing off the balance of yaoi again, NoName-chan!

NoName-chan: WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?! *elbows Tyki in the eye* AND STOP HITTING ME!

Tyki: *YELP. Collapses, clutching his eye*

Lenalee: *ignores him* I don't know! Find a way to get more yaoi out here!

NoName-chan: *SIIIGH* FINE, GIVE ME A SEC! *storms away*

Tyki: *sits up, still clutching his eye* Where's SHE going? 0.o

Lenalee: Like hell if I know... 0.o

*2 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *returns to the stage, some things in tow*

Road: *grins* Whatcha got~?

NoName-chan: Some things to shut Lenalee up *throw Allen and Kanda on the table*

Kanda: *flailing* I FUCKING HATE YOU YOU LITTLE TWO-CENT WHORE!

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* HOW DARE YOU! I require at LEAST $10 bucks!

Allen: *naked and disoriented* Where am I?

Road: Oh, hey, you're back. How was the rape~?

Allen: *shudders and rocks back and forth* We never speak of it…

Lenalee: *SQUEAL* YAOI~! *takes pictures*

NoName-chan: *smirks* Problem solved~

Tyki: Wait! What about Bunny-Boy? D:

NoName-chan: *waves a hand lazily to dismiss the topic* He'll be fine. He's only unconscious, after all. He'll be awake any minute now.

Tyki: Oh…

*A moment of silence*

Lenalee and Tyki: Wait, WHAT?!

NoName-chan: Well, YEAH. I mean, you really think wasabi's enough to kill an Exorcist?

Lenalee and Tyki: You seriously couldn't have told us that earlier? o_e

NoName-chan: *shrugs* Must have slipped my mind~

Allen: *a bit more clear headed now* What are you talking about? What's going on with Lavi?

NoName-chan: Unimportant. Anyway, we've got a show to run! So, Allen, Kanda, take your seats!

Allen: No problem, but… *looks down* Can I have some clothes first…?

NoName-chan: *SIIIGH* If you're going to be THAT needy, I suppose…. *rummages through my bra before pulling something out and giving it to Allen* Here.

Allen: Thank yo- *looks at the article of clothing* …. Seriously? -.-;;;

NoName-chan: What?

Allen: IT'S THE LOLITA DRESS YOU GUYS MADE ME WEAR IN E-C-T 3.75! *holds up the garment, revealing it to be exactly what Allen described*

NoName-chan: So?

Allen: WHY WAS THIS EVEN IN YOUR BRA?! O.e

NoName-chan: LOOK, YOU WANT THE CLOTHES OR NOT?!

Allen: *SIIIGH* FINE! *puts on the dress and attempts to pull the incredibly short skirt down to no avail*

NoName-chan: SUPER! Now, both of you sit your asses down!

Allen and Kanda: *stomp back to the blue couch and sit in their designated spots, grumbling under their breaths*

NoName-chan: Great! Now, continuing with the Torture Round, next let's have… Lenalee~!

Lenalee: 'Kay~! ^.^ *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the slip of paper* Your Torture reads:

"Don't wear boots for 10 minutes (always with love)."

Lenalee: EH?! D:

Road: *SNORT* Who sent that~?

NoName-chan: Our lovely Piña~ Well, Lenalee?

Lenalee: *sniffs and tenderly pets the Dark Boots on her feet* B-B-But these are the only shoes I have left… TT_TT

NoName-chan: Lenalee. *puts a hand on her shoulder and looks into her eyes seriously* You can do it. It's just 10 minutes.

Lenalee: *tears up* B-But-

NoName-chan: Lenalee.

Lenalee: *sniff* O-Okay… *takes off her boots*

NoName-chan: *takes my hand off of her shoulder* Very good. I'm proud of you.

Lenalee: *nods her head and wipes a tear*

NoName-chan: *turns back to the others* Alright! Next let's have… Allen!

Allen: *sighs and pulls his skirt down once more before spinning the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the paper* Alright, Allen, your Torture reads:

"Watch Ouran High School Host Club and tell me what you think of the twins on our next date."

Allen: Lucy?

NoName-chan: Yup.

Allen: *sighs* Fine…

Lenalee: Wow, you're really agreeing to this that easily? 0.o

Allen: Compared to some of the shit I've had to do for this god forsaken Show-FanFiction-Thingy, I'll take watching a Shoujo anime any day =_=

NoName-chan: That's the spirit~! Anyways, Kanda! Spin the wheel!

Kanda: Don't tell me what to do!

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* BITCH, I OWN YOU! SPIN THE FUCKING WHEEL!

Kanda: *growls and spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the paper* Your Torture reads:

"You, Tyki, and Lavi spar with us at the end."

Kanda: ….

Allen: Um… Who wrote that exactly…? O.o

NoName-chan: The Usagi-Twins. And sorry, ladies! If we have the sparring match at the end of the show, we're just gonna forget to do it, so can we just get it over with now?

Usagi-Twins: *siiigh* We suppose… *walk onto the stage*

Tyki: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on! Why am I getting pulled into L'Oreal Paris's-

Kanda: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME-

Tyki: -Torture?! I'm gonna break a nail!

NoName-chan: Well, Tyki, the answer to that is simple: *hits him over the head with my shovel* BECAUSE I FUCKING SAID SO! AND GET OVER IT, YOU BARBIE DOLL!

Tyki: UGH! *flips his hair sassily at me* I hope you lose your favorite pair of shoes!

NoName-chan: *rolls my eyes at him* ANYWAYS-

Allen: Wait, don't you need to wake up Lavi?

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* DON'T INTERRUPT ME, I WAS GETTING TO THAT!

Allen: OW!

Lenalee: How are you gonna get him up? 0.o

NoName-chan: Easy. *pulls an airhorn out of my bra and blows it in Lavi's ear*

Lavi: *jumps up, eyes shot wide* AKSDHERNHFIUEBKEWJNRKJWSKRXMVNREJGCM4UJ5HIEHGUIT?/!

Lenalee: Huh, she really keeps everything in there… 0.o *looks down at her chest* Hey, Allen, do think I'd be able to-

Allen: Don't even think about it, Lenalee.

Lavi: *looks around frantically* WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHERE AM I?!

NoName-chan: You're on DGS! You passed out from eating too much wasabi, remember? Now, get up! You have to fight the Usagi-Twins with Kanda and Tyki!

Lavi: Wha-? 0.o

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* NO QUESTIONS! JUST GO! *pulls him up and throws him to the front of the stage*

Kanda and Tyki: *sigh and walk up to stand by Lavi before they suffer the same fate*

Usagi-Twins: *walk up to face them, smirking*

Kanda: *rolls his eyes*

Tyki: *fixes his hair*

Lavi: *stands up, looking around* Wait, what are we doing…?

NoName-chan: *stands on the coffee table, suddenly in a less than school appropriate referee dress. Holds up a whistle* In 3… 2… 1! *blows the whistle* FIGHT!

Usagi-Twins: *grin and lunge at the guys*

Lenalee: This could get ugly… COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Camera Guy: I'M ON IT!

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*

"ROAD'S TAPE OF ALLEN, KANDA, LAVI, AND TYKI'S FOURSOME~!" *99.9% of fangirl population orders*

"ROAD'S TAPE OF KANDA RAPING ALLEN WITH HIS HELL INSECT TENTACLE~!" *99.9% of the kinkier fangirl population orders*

"THE EARL'S OPERA SINGING: VOLUMES 1-4~!" *nobody orders*

"SHOVELS, MUTHAFUCKAHS~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*

*We return to the stage set, where Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki are on the ground, groaning in pain, while the Twins are walking off the stage with smirks on their faces. Allen and Lenalee are staring at them with wide eyes, and Road is, of course, laughing her ass off at the guys' pain. I am nowhere to be found.*

Kanda: *shakily rises to his feet* Fucking… bitches…

Tyki: *cries loudly, clutching one of his hands* DAMN IT, I TOLD YOU I'D BREAK A NAIL! TT_TT

Lavi: *sits up shakily* I still… don't know… why we were fighting... T_T

Lenalee: Wow… Those girls meant business…. O_o

Allen: I'll say… I mean, who would've thought someone could use a cantaloupe that way…? 0_o

Road: Pfft, you'd be surprised the number of other things you can do with a cantaloupe~

Lavi: *groans* Actually, I think I'm perfectly fine NOT knowing… *rubs his head and gets up, looking around* Hey, where's NoName-chan? O.o

Tyki: *gets up as well* Yeah, where'd that bitch go? She owes me a new manicure! T~T

Lenalee: Oh, she stepped out for a moment. I think she said something about getting a snack? I dunno.

Kanda: *growls* Well, if we're lucky, she'll never come ba-

*The door gets kicked open, hitting Kanda in the face*

NoName-chan: *walks in, a back of Doritos in my hand and a cell phone to my ear* Yeah, I know, right? Allen's too much of a dumbass to appreciate the finer things, like miniskirts! Yeah? Uh huh. HAHA KANDA'S ABOUT AS STRAIGHT AS A RAINBOW! Yeah, man! No, asshole, I DON'T wear thongs! Oh? Whoa, whoa, leave Lavi's retardation out of this! What? No! BITCH ASS NIGGA, JUST 'CAUSE ROAD'S KINKY LIKE THAT DOESN'T MEAN I AM, TOO! WELL, FUCK YOU! I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS KIND OF SHIT FROM A WOMAN WITH NO JOB, A TASTE IN FASION FIT FOR A HOBO, AND AN EGO THE SIZE OF TYKI'S ASS! GOODBYE! *hangs up and rolls my eyes* Honestly, I don't understand what her damn problem is! *sits down on the red couch and shoves a handful of Doritos in my mouth* She can be such a fucking bitch sometimes!

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.o

Allen: Um… Who were you talking to, exactly? e.e

NoName-chan: *swallows the Doritos* My Grandmother.

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….. The fu-

Kanda: You… fucking… BITCH! *kicks the door off of him* DID YOU JUST HIT ME WITH A FUCKING DOOR?!

NoName-chan: *glances at him boredly* Yeah, and? Katsura Hoshino did the same thing in that one filler episode of the anime where you were in that prank house with Tiedoll.

Kanda: YOU… *pauses* ….… actually have a point... *sits down*

NoName-chan: Good. Now, moving on! Finally, for the Wheel of Torture, Tyki?

Tyki: *crosses his arms defiantly* Only if you agree to pay for my new manicure!

NoName-chan: *rolls eyes* Yeah, sure, whatever, you, Lenalee, and I can go get mani/pedis this weekend, just spin the damn wheel!

Tyki: Yay~! ^.^ *spins the wheel*

NoName-chan: *picks up the piece of paper* Alrighty~! Tyki, your Torture reads:

"Go read some yuri."

Ben-kun: *jumps out from under the couch cushion I'm sitting on, causing me to be sitting on his shoulders in a daughter-on-her-dad's-shoulders-at-a-parade kind of way*

NoName-chan: OHJESUSCHRISTWHATTHEFUCK-

Ben-kun: WHO SAID YURI~?

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.O

Road: …. *laughs*

NoName-chan: BEN-KUN YOU LITTLE SHIT PUT ME DOWN I'M WEARING A MINISKIRT! *kicks him in the appendix*

Ben-kun: OWIE! *collapses, clutching his side*

NoName-chan: *gracefully lands sitting back on my spot on the couch* Better~

Ben-kun: *SOB* T~T

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …

Lavi: So… about Tyki's Torture…

NoName-chan: Yeah, yeah, I'm on it… *hands Tyki all 5 volumes of the Girl Friends manga* Here.

Tyki: *expression brightens* Oh, hey! I've read a few chapters of this! It's awesome! I've been meaning to finish it, thanks! ^.^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road: O.o

NoName-chan: … 'Kay den….

Allen: Tyki has not only agreed to go on a date with a fangirl and kissed Lenalee today, but now he also likes a yuri manga….. Yep, it's definitely the apocalypse…

Lenalee: Who sent that Torture, anyway? O.e

NoName-chan: Elvira Rayne. Though, I suppose this isn't very much of a Torture for Tyki by the looks of it… That might just be because of Girl Friends' plot though… *shakes head* Whatever~! Now that the Torture Round's over, let's mix it up and do… the Fanmail Round ~!

Road: Sounds good~!

Lenalee: *tilts her head slightly* Oh yeah, that Round exists….

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: YAY, NO PAIN~!

NoName-chan: *smirks* Don't be so sure about that~ Anyways, BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: *stops crying over his bruised appendix and looks up at me* Huh? What is it? 0.o

NoName-chan: It's time for the Fanmail Round! Get up here!

Ben-kun: 'Kay~! ^.^ *gets up and sits on the couch next to me*

NoName-chan: Alright, let's start off with, of course, my sexual ass~!

Kanda: *SNORT* "Sexual."

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* Nobody asked for your opinion, so go fuck yourself! Anyways, let's get started! *pulls a slip of paper out of the Fanmail Jar* Today's first Fanmail reads:

"NoName-chan,

Where do you get your shovels from?

~the3leonine"

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: … *look at me* Where DO you get them from….?

NoName-chan: Oh, that's easy. Baskin Robbins.

Ben-kun: *nods head* AH, that makes sense! ^.^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….. Wha-

NoName-chan: *hits Allen, Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki over the heads with my shovel* STFU!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *clutch their heads in pain* OW! WHY'D YOU ONLY HIT US?!

NoName-chan: MOVING ON! *pulls another slip out of the jar* This one reads:

"NoName-chan!

Hello this is EMILY and if you turn Allen in to Red you cant hit him with your shovel. Cas my first field protecting him so ye. Love one of your fans that really isnt that big of a fan Ps RED IS MY favorite character SO IF SOMEBODY THACHES HIM THEY WILL DIE BY MY HANS cute AAAAA BAD SISTER GIVE MY BACK MY JELLY 'CHAT SISTER BUT SISTER IS BITHIG MY UP''BUT NOBODY CAN THEK MY JELLY ''HITS SISTER ON THE HEAD AND RUNS AWEY''

~Guest"

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …. Wait wha- Her sister stole her jelly? 0.e

NoName-chan: So it seems…

Allen: And, wait, she wants to turn me into my childhood self? Is that even possible? O.e

NoName-chan: *shakes my head* I'm afraid not. HOWEVER, *reaches into my bra and pulls out a clone of Allen as a child*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.O

NoNam-chan: I had Komui make a clone of Red for EMILY. Enjoy~! ^.^ *gives EMILY Red*

EMILY: Yay! ^.^

Lavi: I'm not sure if I should even be surprised that she pulled a living child out of her bra at this point….

Lenalee: ….. *looks down at her boobs again* Allen, are you sure-

Allen: Lenalee, No.

NoName-chan: Alright, moving on! *pulls another slip out of the jar* Our third Fanmail of the day reads:

"NoName-chan,

Tell Allen I said "'Ello!" Oh! And tell Lenalee I said she's "Awesomeness. Enough said."

~Mokatty"

Allen: 'Ello, Mokatty-san! ^.^

Lenalee: Why, thank you so much~! ^.^

NoName-chan: She's sweet, eh? ^.^ Well, my obligation here is done. Moving on! *pulls another slip of paper out of the jar* This one reads:

"NoName-chan,

I Dare you to go on a romantic date with either Allen, Kanda, or Lavi (whoever annoys you the most). After doing so, if you have been a good girl, then you may go on a killing spree with Road and myself :3

~Slaythevampire87"

*A moment of silence*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, Lavi, Tyki: Wait, WHAT?!

Allen: OH GOD WHY WOULD SOMEONE MAKE US DATE THAT VILE CREATURE?!

Kanda: I'D RATHER STAB MYSELF IN THE EYE!

Lenalee: BUT SHE'S A GIRL IT WOULD THROW OFF THE BALANCE OF YAOI!

Tyki: WHY AREN'T I ON THAT LIST?!

Lavi: WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE?!

Ben-kun: *CRIES* MY SWEET LITTLE NEE-CHAN IS GOING ON A DATE?!

Road: *laughing* Pffffft, you guys are overreacting! It's just one date! It's not even that big of a deal! Right, NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: *silence*

Road: …. Um, NoName-chan?

NoName-chan: *rocking back and forth* Oh god… I'm so fucked… o_o

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: …..

Road: Um…. NoName-chan? Are you okay?

NoName-chan: *looks up at her with panic in my eyes* No, I'm not alright! I can't go on a date with one of them! O_O

Road: What? Why the fuck not?

Lavi: Yeah! I mean, what, are we not GOOD ENOUGH for you? Are you saying you don't want THIS? *waves his ass around* It doesn't get any better than this ass! You should feel HONORED to have the option!

NoName-chan: No, it's- wait what? Ew, no e_e No, it's- it's just….

Road: Well? Spit it out already!

NoName-chan: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

*A moment of silence*

Everybody: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! O_O

Allen: WHOA, WHOA, YOU MEAN THE TALKING TACO, RIGHT?! O_O

NoName-chan: What? No! He dumped me after he found out about my drunken affair with that Enchilada at the end of E-C-T 3.5! And then I ate him!

Allen: WHAT?! O.O

Ben-kun: *pulls out a machete* WHO THE FUCK IS DATING MY LITTLE SISTER?!

Kanda: WHO THE FUCK WOULD DATE YOUR LITTLE SISTER?!

Lenalee: *SCREAM* W-W-WHAT?! B-BUT… YAOI!

Tyki: *cries* OH MY GOD, MY CUTE LITTLE HAG IS GROWING UP! TT_TT

Lavi: *stares at Tyki* SINCE WHEN DO YOU EVEN LIKE HER?! SINCE WHEN DOES ANYONE LIKE HER?!

Road: WHAT?! NONAME-CHAN, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT TELL ME THIS?!

NoName-chan: I'M SORRY! BUT IT'S ALL BEEN A BIG BLUR! WE ONLY STARTED DATING 6 WEEKS AGO!

Ben-kun: 6 WEEKS?! HOW THE HELL DID I NOT NOTICE THIS?! TT_TT

Road: *crosses her arms* You better start explaining, NoName-chan.

NoName-chan: *sighs* Okay, okay, I'll go from the beginning: So, it all started around early April. I did this thing called the Chalk Walk with some people from my school which was basically just a competition with sidewalk chalk drawings (We won best Middle School Collaborative, btw~ ;D), and there was this guy in my group who just wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. He kept stealing my glasses (Yes, I actually wore my glasses for once!) and clinging to my backpack and stealing this one chick's fedora and putting it on me and overall just bugging me. Yup, it was obvious he liked me -v-;;; BUT, I was like "Nah, son, he's just being annoying, it's all good…" at the time. But then, about a month later, he and I were both at Art Club and we had this project involving marshmallows and toothpicks, and he literally shouted, "I CALL JESSICA!" when it was announced that it was a Partner's project (We did win, though~ ;D). He then proceeded to bug me for that entire club. He self proclaimed himself as my "servant," wrote all over my arms, STOLE my fucking leather jacket and wore it the whole time (THAT FUCKER STRETCHED IT OUT), and kept trying to pick me up (Not like THAT, I mean like literally trying to lift me up off the floor -v-;;;). Okay, by this point I knew he liked me. THEN, the annoying little idiot started ditching his lunch period to come to the art room, where I was in art class, every day. He would basically sit next to me and talk my ear off or stare at me while I worked on my work. He was really annoying. So, naturally, what happened? I got a fucking crush on him. Fuck. Everything. -/- Well, literally 4 days after I got a crush on him, the whole grade got to miss PE and go to the school auditorium thing because some voting shit was going on in the gym. Well, the annoying kid sat in the row in front of me and was talking to me while I semi-ignored him because I was sitting between Yuno-chan and Jen-chan and preferred talking to them. Welp, a girl asked him out, and he kept hugging my fucking calves and asking me what to do. I, being the blunt person I am, just told him, "If you like her, say yes. If you don't say, no," because I really didn't like him all that much. Well, anyways, he FINALLY left me alone to talk about something with his friends. It seemed that he was writing a love letter. I thought it was for that girl who asked him out, AAAAAAND…. Yeah, as coldhearted as it is, I really didn't give a shit. It really was just kind of a mini-crush. Except then his friend came up to me and bluntly said, "*insert his name* likes you. Wanna date him or nah?" And I said, "Sure? 0.o" and yeah. He gave me the letter later, revealing that it was indeed for me. That's about it.

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: …..

Allen: You seriously couldn't have just summarized that with "An artistic guy liked me, and I started liking him back"? Dumb bitch -.-

NoName-chan: *hits him over the head with my shovel* OH SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M STILL TRYING TO GET OVER THE FACT THAT HAVING SOMEONE REGULARLY CALL YOU ISN'T ALWAYS STALKERISH!

Lenalee: ….. It sounds to me like he's super loving to you, and you're just cold to him e.e

NoName-chan: THAT'S- …. Actually, yeah, that about sums it up…. I just don't understand this whole "love" thing. It's like reading Chinese to me! o_e I'm just kind of cruel by nature, I guess….

Lavi: PFFT, that's pretty fucking obvious -.-;

NoName-chan: Oh, shut up, you're not even supposed to HAVE a heart! -.-

Kanda: Che. Can we stop gossiping like a bunch of retarded schoolgirls and get ON with this already?

NoName-chan: GLADLY!

Lenalee: WAIT! Not until you tell us his name!

NoName-chan: His name? Well, I don't want to tell you guys his actual name because you never know when somebody you actually KNOW will end up reading your stories, and the last thing I need is real life people knowing I run a game show full of rape, torture, and shovels. So you guys can just call him D-kun!

Lenalee: D-kun? Why D-kun? 0.o

NoName-chan: *smirks* So that whenever I have a date with him or something, I can just tell you guys I gotta get the D~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: Ooooooooof course that's the reason -.-;;;

NoName-chan: ANYWAY, we're getting really off topic here! The issue is, how can I date one of these idiots *jerks a thumb toward Allen, Kanda, and Lavi* if I already have a boyfriend?!

Road: Oh, that's simple: *smacks me upside the head*

NoName-chan: OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

Road: STOP OVERREACTING! IT'S JUST ONE DATE!

NoName-chan: *freezes. Eyes widen* Holy shit, you're right… What am I worrying about? D-kun can deal with himself. Plus, I married to 8 other girls anyway!

Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WAIT, WHAT-

NoName-chan: So, I have to go on a date with the most annoying out of Allen, Kanda, and Lavi?

Road: Yup.

NoName-chan: Okay~ I'll pick you up tonight at 8, Kanda!

Allen and Lavi: *sigh in relief*

Kanda: Fuck you.

NoName-chan: Sorry, babe, but not 'til at LEAST the third date~ Plus, you're still my cousin.

Kanda: *flips me off*

NoName-chan: *returns the gesture* Anyways, *grins* Next Fanmail~! *pulls a slip of paper from the jar* This one reads:

"Hey, NoName-chan, we know a way to freak everyone out.

Call us the Supernatural Twins because everyone calls us that.

Seriously because they don't trust us in the dark because we bust out the appearing and disappearing act. We giggle the creepy giggle of little girls, and one of us closes the door eerily and then slams it. One of us appears in front of them with blood on our face and a knife with the creepiest smile, like, ever and then disappears again. We do that for a while 'til we attack them.

It will be awesome, don't you think? :)

~Usagi-Twins"

Lenalee: 0.o Well, that was a long Fanmail…

NoName-chan: Well, ladies, as much as I agree that that WOULD be awesome, I'm afraid that I'm always going to forget to call you that, so I'm gonna have to decline your offer. Don't be worried, though! I don't think you need a title to make these idiots scared of you, *looks at Kanda, Lavi, and Tyki* do they?

Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *shake their heads vigorously*

NoName-chan: Then it's settled! NEXT FANMAIL~! *pulls another slip out of the jar* It reads:

"Hi NoName-chan,

Tell Road she can do anything she wants to anyone in the room with her.

~LunarRazorblade20"

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *pale* Oh shit… o_o

NoName-chan: *grins* Well, have at it, Road~!

Road: Oh HELL YES~! *pulls out pointy candles*

Lenalee: Oh shit CUT TO COMMERCIAL! QUICK! O_O

Camera Guy: *pushing button repeatedly* IT'S NOT WORKING! 0_0

Lenalee: WHAT?! WHY THE HELL NOT?!

Camera Guy: I THINK IT'S JAMMED!

Lenalee: *looks frantically at Road, who's eerily approaching the frightened males* WELL, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT AND QUICK!

Camera Guy: LIKE WHAT?! IT WOULD TAKE A HUGE DEAL OF FORCE TO MAKE THIS SUCKER GO DOWN-

Ben-kun: I LIKE CHEESE~! *ninja kicks Camera Guy in the intestines before slamming his face down on the button, forcing it to unjam*

Camera Guy: *collapses, clutching his stomach* AKJKDXSHSXENHRM5EUJGEUTGSJIDJKFUXRTBCXRTCMJKSCD?/!

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*

"2 WEEK PASSES TO A NAIL SPA~!" *Tyki orders*

"NONAME-CHAN POISON~!" *Kanda orders*

"NARNIA BRAS~!" *Lenalee orders against Allen's will*

"GOBBLE GOBBLE MOTHERFUCKER IT'S SHOVEL TIME~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE ENDS*

*We return to the set, where Road is sitting in her spot, grinning triumphantly and licking somebody's blood off one of her pointy candles. I'm polishing my shovel with a smirk, hinting that Road allowed me to join her in her torturing spree, and Ben-kun is sitting next to me, licking a soccer ball that he got from who-knows-where. Lenalee is on a USPS tracking site on a laptop, seemingly waiting for something eagerly, dressed up in the purple dress from the Rewinding Town arc with her hair in the two incredibly curly pigtails. Kanda is next to Lenalee on the couch, also dressed up like a doll in a frilly pink Lolita dress with his hair in an intricate style involving braids and curls, looking like he's seen a ghost. Lavi is lying down on the floor, once again unconscious (goddamn it now we've killed him 4 times this week), a pool of blood similar to that on Road's candle next to him. Allen and Tyki are nowhere to be found*

NoName-chan: *finally finishes polishing shovel and puts it in its rightful place next to me* Ah, that was fun~

Road: *licks her candle* Indeed~

Kanda: *rocks back and forth* I fucking hate everything… I fucking hate it…

NoName-chan: Everything hates you, too :) *looks at Lenalee* Oh, hey, what'd you order?

Lenalee: *slams the laptop shut* NOTHING~!

NoName-chan and Road: …

Lenalee: *looks around* So, what's going on- *eyes rest on the bleeding Lavi* Oh my fucking god…

NoName-chan: Now, Lenalee-

Lenalee: AGAIN?!

Road: HEY! He's a Bookman! He should've been able to handle a few measly stabs!

Lenalee: DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE TWO SHITS?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?!

NoName-chan: Killed Lavi? Disturbed our viewers? Broken many a lady's hearts?

Lenalee: NO! YOU'VE THROWN OFF THE BALANCE OF YAOI ONCE AGAIN! NOW ALL WE'VE GOT IS KANDA!

NoName-chan: *realizes the lack of males in the room* Well, u-um… THERE'S BEN-KUN!

Lenalee: KANDAXBEN-KUN?! WHAT KIND OF CRACK SHIP IS THAT?!

NoName-chan: HEY! I'M SURE THEY COULD MAKE IT WORK IF THEY TRIED! SHOW HER, BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: ALUMINUM TASTES LIKE BABIES! *chucks the soccer ball he was licking at Kanda*

Kanda: *gets hit in the face* ASGSDJKODKAJSDNJKJWEKSKEMJSIJEICXUHERUGSEJDEURGKJEURI?/!

NoName-chan: *hits Ben over the head with my shovel* GOD DAMN IT, BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~! *punches Kanda in the nose*

Kanda: *gets knocked unconscious* Uuuugh…

NoName-chan, Lenalee, Road: *GAPE. Whirl around to stare at Ben* BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: HE SMELLED LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!

NoName-chan: *slams face on the coffee table repeatedly* GOD *slam* DAMN IT *slam* BEN-KUN! *slam*

Lenalee: DAMN IT, NONAME-CHAN, WHAT DID I TELL YOU!? NOW IT'S EVEN WORSE!

NoName-chan: CHILL, WILL YOU?! KANDA AND LAVI AREN'T THE ONLY MALES WE HAVE!

Lenalee: YEAH, BUT ALLEN AND TYKI ARE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND! *looks around* THE HELL ARE THEY ANYWAY?!

NoName-chan: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

Road: *SNORT* They're probably hiding from me~

*MEANWHILE WITH ALLEN AND TYKI*

Allen: OW! Tyki, move over! You've got at least another foot of space, so stop getting so close to me!

Tyki: *crosses his arms* Hmph! Well, it's not MY fault that they're out there murdering my precious little Bunny-Boy! I need SOMEONE to cuddle! *hugs Allen*

Allen: *shoves him away* Well, that person's not gonna be me, so go away!

Tyki: *pouts*

Allen: *rolls his eyes before looking at the door* Do you think it's safe to get out yet?

Tyki: *shakes his head* It's never safe to get out with NoName-chan and Road on the loose.

Allen: *sighs* Oh, the painful truth in that statement… Well, what should we do while we're here?

Tyki: *smiles and trails his finger in circles on the ground* Well, we could always-

Allen: No.

Tyki: *sticks out his bottom lip* You're no fun…

Allen: *rolls eyes* Whatever. *leans back, finding that the wall behind him moves slightly. Turns to look at it* What the…? 0.o

Tyki: *pokes the "wall," causing it to shift with his touch* "What the" indeed….

Allen: Hold on… *shoves the "wall" to the side, revealing a dark tunnel* o_o

Tyki: Well, I'll be fucked by a red haired bunny, it's a secret passage! 0.o

Allen: Where do you think it goes…? O.o

Tyki: Only one way to find out~! *crawls into the tunnel*

Allen: What? Tyki, hold on! Wait for me! *crawls after him*

*30 seconds of crawling and one incident of Allen crashing into Tyki's ass later*

Allen and Tyki: *emerge from the tunnel in a dark room*

Tyki: *stands up and stretches* God, it was cramped in there!

Allen: *stands up as well, looking around* Where are we? 0.o

Tyki: *looks around* Good question… It's too dark to see anything!

Allen: Hm… Do you have a match?

Tyki: Nope, but here… *reaches into his underwear and pulls out an object before handing it to Allen*

Allen: *squints to see the object before facepalming* Tyki… Why the hell do you have a Powerpuff Girls flashlight in your underwear…? -.-;

Tyki: The same reason NoName-chan has Cokes in her bra: because it's convenient.

Allen: *siiigh* Whatever… *turns on the flashlight and looks around* Huh… It seems we're in some sort of secret closet… *flashlight lands on a pile of books* Huh? What are those?

Tyki: *picks one up* I don't know…

Allen and Tyki: *open it and start reading together* …

Allen: *pales* O-OH MY GOD… O_O T-This is…

Tyki: *SQUEAL* YAOI FANFICTION~! :'D *dives into the pile, causing books to fly open everywhere, some with illustration*

Allen: *sees some of the pictures. SCREEEEEEAAAAMMMMMMMMM! Stumbles backward into another wall, which falls back under his weight* OOMPH! *blinks at the sudden light and looks around* H-Huh? 0_0

NoName-chan: *staring at the seat on the couch next to me, where Allen has just stumbled out from under Ben's seat cushion as if it was a trap door* Oh, there you are.

Allen: *crawls out* W-W-What the hell was that…? o_e *points to secret room under Ben's cushion*

NoName-chan: Oh, that's our Yaoi Room. It was more convenient to have it under the stage than put in a new room for it.

Tyki: *emerges from the room, several books in his arms* So beautiful~! TuT

NoName-chan: Glad you think so! Now, both of you, get out of there! Lenalee's been bitching about the balance of yaoi for ten minutes!

Allen and Tyki: 'Kay! *Go sit in their designated spots*

NoName-chan: *replaces the cusion* BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: *looks up from Kanda's unconscious form* Hm?

NoName-chan: Come sit down, the show's not over yet!

Ben-kun: 'Kay~! ^-^ *sits down next to me*

NoName-chan: Alright, next Fanmail~!

Lenalee: WAIT, BUT WHAT ABOUT LAVI AND KANDA-

NoName-chan: NEXT FANMAIL! *pulls a slip out of the jar* Alright, this one reads:

"NoName-chan,

Okay. I am also known as XxlavenloverxX and XxdeathnotexX, so from now on I'll be XxshovelloverxX, too. I love this story. Can you use my dare, please? Here it is: Allen, I dare you to make out -with tongue- with Tyki. Thanks! I love your story. -runs to get seat in audience-

~XxshovelloverxX"

Lenalee: Huh. That was nice 0.o

NoName-chan: Oh, honey, anybody willing to name themselves in my honor can get their Dare on the show~!

Tyki: *fistpumps the air* WOO HOO~!

Allen: *FACETABLE* You're telling me I just avoided his advances for 15 minutes in a goddamn closet for nothing?

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Road: Basically~

Lenalee: *freezes* Wait… Does this mean…? :D

NoName-chan: *grins* Yup~!

Lenalee: HUZZAH! *takes out a camera* YAY FOR YAOI~! YAY FOR YAOI~! ^-^

Allen: *gloom* I hate everything…

NoName-chan: Everything hates you, too. Now, Tyki~?

Tyki: I'm on it~! *grabs Allen and starts viciously making out with him*

Lenalee: *NOSEBLEED*

Road: *records this for Blackmail, laughing her ass off*

Elvira Rayne: *sits straight up in her seat* MY POKER PAIR SENSES ARE TINGLING! *freezes* ….Whoa, that one's a first…. 0.o

NoName-chan: Oh, shut it, Vira -3-

Tyki: *finally releases Allen* Ahh~

Allen: *gasps for air* Where… the hell… did you learn… to do THAT… with your tongue…? O_e

Tyki: *smirks and winks* I will never reveal my secrets~

Lavi: *suddenly wakes up* MY TYKI TONGUE TRAUMA SENSES ARE TINGLING!

Allen and Tyki: …

Lavi: *looks back and forth between Allen and Tyki* …. You know what, I'm not even going to ask…. *gets up and sits on the blue couch*

NoName-chan: *gestures to Lavi with a pointed look at Allen, Tyki, and the unconscious Kanda* You see, if you guys wouldn't question EVERYTHING like Lavi here, we wouldn't be at 17,260 words right now!

Kanda: *drools*

Allen and Tyki: …..

NoName-chan: Anyways, moving on! *pulls a slip out of the jar* Alright, this is the last one for me today! It reads:

"NoName-chan,

I Dare you, Jen-chan, and Ben-kun to dress up in anime school outfits, add cat ears, dog ears, and bunny ears (assign to whoever), act like "moe characters," and go to school like that for a week (sorry if anyone has designated uniforms).

~Lucy Moon-Walker"

NoName-chan and Ben-kun: ….

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, and Tyki: *laugh at our expenses*

NoName-chan: Oh... Well, this is-

Allen: Horrible?

Lavi: Embarrassing?

Tyki: Kawaii?

Allen: *flicks Tyki's forehead before turning back to me* Doesn't matter, you deserve the humiliation, you dumb bitch!

Lavi: Yeah! It's about time you got what you deserv-

NoName-chan: -not bad at all.

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *blink blink* Wait, what?

NoName-chan: Hon, I went to OMGcon last weekend, and I cosplayed Hinamori Amu from Shugo Chara in her school uniform on the second day. I actually enjoy cosplaying in anime school uniforms, so this isn't an issue at all!

Allen: B-But… you still have to add animal ears! Isn't that embarrassing? o_o

NoName-chan: *bursts out laughing* "Embarrassing"? PFFT, I have no shame!

Allen: I… actually probably should have been able to guess that…

NoName-chan: Damn straight! Now, if you'll excuse us, we need to go get Jen-chan and change! *stands up and walks over to the side of the stage, where a closed door with no handle is* Come along, Ben-nii!

Ben-kun: Coming~! ^.^ *skips after me*

NoName-chan: Alright… *strikes a pose with one hand pointed at an up diagonal, grinning* PULL THE LEVER, BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: I'm on it! ^.^ *pulls a lever*

*The floor opens up under me*

NoName-chan: *falls down the hatch* WRONG LEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

*5 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *kicks open the door, soaking wet, and stomps up to Ben-kun, kicking a crocodile off of my heel* Why do we even HAVE that lever…? *pulls a lever next to the one Ben pulled*

*The door without a handle opens*

NoName-chan: *grabs Ben by the wrist and drags him through the doorway* Now, come on, let's go!

Allen: So… What are we supposed to do while they're gone…? O.o

Tyki: *smiles and does the finger-twirling-in-circles thing again on the couch* Well, we could always-

Allen and Lavi: No.

Tyki: *pouts and crosses his arms* You guys are no fun…

Lavi: No, your ideas are no fun.

Allen: But seriously, what should we do while they're gone?

Lenalee: *shrugs and looks at the unconscious Kanda* We could always try to wake Kanda up…

Allen: *sighs* I guess…

Tyki: We're waking up L'Oreal Paris? How? 0.o

Lenalee: Hm… *strokes her chin methodically* That's a good question…

Lavi: Hm… Well, we could always get Yuu-chan-

Kanda: *sits straight up, eyes wide with anger* WHO CALLED ME YUU-CHAN?!

Allen and Lavi: Oh shit o_o

Lenalee and Tyki: *sweat drop* They're screwed.

Road: *starts cackling evilly and takes out her Blackmail Camera*

*10 minutes later*

NoName-chan: *kicks the door open* WE'RE BACK~!

Road: *grins at me* 'Sup~

Allen and Lavi: *on the floor, groaning*

Kanda: *sips coffee casually* Welcome back.

NoName-chan: …. You know what, I'm not even going to ask….

Lenalee and Tyki: *sip coffee in unison* That's probably a good thing.

NoName-chan: 'Kay… Well, come on guys! *makes a 'follow me' gesture behind me and walks in*

Ben-kun and Jen-chan: *follow me in*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *observe me closely* Hm….

NoName-chan: *wearing a black pleated skirt that starts at my waist and goes to midthigh, a loose white sailor style uniform T-shirt with black with two thin white stripes where it folds over near the collar and at the end of the sleeves that cuts off a tiny bit below the waist band of the skirt, a red sailor ascot-bowtie-thing, thigh high white socks with thin red stripes near the tops, and black Mary Janes. Has my bang-type-hair clipped on the right side with a red clip with a little shovel on it and black cat ears and a tail*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *eyes shift over to Jen-chan*

Jen-chan: *wearing something of similar fashion as me, except with a skirt she can appropriately bend over in, knee high socks, a side braid with no clips, and white bunny ears and a tail*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *eyes finally shift over to Ben-kun*

Ben-kun: *wearing a long sleeved white button up shirt, a red tie, a black blazer, a red miniskirt, white thigh high socks, black Mary Janes, and brown dog ears and a tail- wait a second…..*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: ….

Lenalee and Tyki: Wow, you guys look awesome! ^.^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: WHY IS BEN-KUN WEARING A SKIRT?!

NoName-chan: Well, we didn't have any pants in his size, and he said he'd rather wear a skirt anyway, so.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *stare at Ben*

Ben-kun: It flutters like a butterfly~! ^.^ *jumps in the air, making the short skirt fly up and show his underwear*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *SCREAM* OHGODMYVIRGINEYESMAKEITSTOP

Road: *ignores them and grins* So I see you guys added tails to go with the ears, eh?

NoName-chan: *grins as well* Yup~! I felt like it wouldn't be a full outfit without them~ *waves my ass side to side, making the tail wag*

Jen-chan: *rolls her eyes* Che. Can I just leave already?

NoName-chan: Yeah, sure. Just make sure to come back on Monday so we can all go to school, 'kay~?

Jen-chan: *rolls her eyes again* Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm leaving.

NoName-chan: *hugs her* I wuv you~! ^-^

Jen-chan: *pushes me away from her* And I do not love you. *leaves*

NoName-chan, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …

Lenalee: So cold….

Ben-kun: *spinning around, his skirt flying up* Hehehe I can feel a breeze~! ^-^

NoName-chan: That's nice. ANYWAYS, we're 18k+ words in and still have another round to do after this! Let's get this show on the road already, people! BEN-KUN!

Ben-kun: *stops spinning to look at me* Yes~?

NoName-chan: Come sit down, it's time for your Fanmail!

Ben-kun: 'Kay~! ^.^ *takes a seat in his spot on the red couch*

NoName-chan: *sits next to him and pulls a slip out of the Fanmail Jar* Alright, Ben-kun, your first Fanmail of the day reads:

"Ben-kun,

Hey, it's ok, bro, don't

~the3leonine"

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …

Allen: "don't" what….?

NoName-chan: I have no idea…

Road: My guess is that they hit the Send button before they finished typing.

NoName-chan: *shrugs* You're probably right… Well, Ben-kun, ready for your next Fanmail~?

Ben-kun: Yup~! ^-^

NoName-chan: Alright~! *pulls another slip out of the jar* This one reads:

"Ben-kun,

I'm sorry for not asking you anything, so I'll ask you, what's your favorite band and song, and can you sing your favorite song?

~Magicsinger"

Ben-kun: Awww, thanks for asking! My favorite band is Metallica, and my favorite song is "King of Kings"!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: That's…. actually not weird at all for a teenage boy 0.o

NoName-chan: *pats Ben's head* So, will you sing for us~? ^.^

Ben-kun: Of course~! ^u^

NoName-chan: Excellent~! *snaps fingers*

Coffee Table: *turns into a karaoke stage*

NoName-chan: *pulls a microphone out of my bra and hands it to Ben* Have at it~

Ben-kun: 'Kay~! ^.^ *gets on the stage*

NoName-chan: Cue music!

*Music plays*

Ben-kun: *starts singing*

"Behold the King
The King of Kings
On your knees dog
All hail

Bow down to the
Bow down to the King
Bow down to the
Bow down to the King

The King grinned red
As he walked from the place
Where the traitor lost both his name and his face
Through the halls and the corridors
Stinging in blood
He tasted his grin and it tasted good
The King took his head
Left him broken and dead

Bow down to the
Bow down to the King
Bow down to the
Bow down to the King
Bow down to the
Bow down to the King

The King left none living
None able to tell
The King took their heads
And he sent them to hell
Their screams echoed loud
In the place of their death
Ripped open they died
With their final breath
They hailed the King
The King of Kings

Bow down to the
Bow down to the King
Bow down to the
Bow down to the King
Bow down to the
Bow down to the King

Into the dirt
His will be done
Now feel your fear
There can be only one

Bow down
Bow down
Bow down
Bow down
Bow down to the
Bow down
Bow down to the king
Bow down
Bow down
Bow down
Bow down

The King is here
Now feel your fear
The King of Kings

All hail
All hail the King
On your knees
On your knees for the King

The King of Kings
There is only one"

*Music ends*

Audience, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: o_o *clap slowly*

Ben-kun: *smiles and takes a bow* ^.^

Allen: Wow… that was… intense… 0.o

Lavi: Yeah, I think singing that might be the manliest thing anybody's ever done on this god forsaken Show-FanFiction-Thingy… O.e

Allen: Yeah, man…. *tilts his head slightly* Huh… Maybe Ben-kun ISN'T a kid without gender on LSD after all… Maybe, deep down inside, he's actually a normal teenage boy-

Ben-kun: I LIKE TRAINS! *chucks a toy train at Allen's face*

Allen: ASDJHKJKDHSJKDRFIJERKSMELKMXJXRCV I TAKE IT BACK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I TAKE IT BAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!

Ben-kun: Thank you for understanding! ^.^ *hops down from the karaoke stage and hands me back my microphone before sitting down in his rightful spot*

NoName-chan: *stashes the microphone in my bra and snaps my fingers again*

Karaoke stage: *returns to its original coffee table form*

NoName-chan: Alright, now that's over, let's move on! *pulls one last slip from the jar, leaving it empty* This is today's last Fanmail! It reads:

"Ben-kun,

Can I fight you? Because you can't be forgiven. You shouldn't have tried to put YURI in DGM!

~Bloodsteel 45"

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….. A FAN WANTS TO FIGHT BEN-KUN?!

Kanda and Road: *SNORT*

NoName-chan: Well, Ben-kun?

Ben-kun: *sadistic grin* Challenge accepted~

NoName-chan: *smirks* Good. Get up here, Bloodsteel 45!

Bloodsteel 45: *walks onto the stage with a grin on his face* Let's do this~

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *GASP*

Bloodsteel 45: What? O.o

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: Y-YOU'RE MALE!

Bloodsteel 45: … Um, yeah…?

Allen: HE'S A DGM FANBOY!

Lavi: I'VE NEVER SEEN ONE IN THE WILD BEFORE!

Lenalee: ME NEITHER! ROAD, QUICK, TAKE A PICTURE BEFORE IT RUNS AWAY!

Road: 'KAY! *takes a picture of Bloodsteel*

Bloodsteel 45: Um… *looks at me* What's going on here?

NoName-chan: Oh, they're just surprised that you're a guy. After all, do you know how rare it is to find a Fanboy on FFN when it comes to a yaoi-filled fandom such as DGM?

Bloodsteel 45: Oh. So, basically, they thought I was a girl like you did when you first met me?

*A moment of silence*

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: WHAT?!

Kanda and Road: *bursts out laughing* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S RICH LOL YOU'RE SUCH A DUMB BITCH

NoName-chan: *blushes (wait wtf I don't blush…)* OH SHUT UP! It's not my fault! Like I said, DGM fanboys are rare on this site! So unless told otherwise, I just naturally assume that my fans are girls!

Ben-kun: But wait… I'm a boy… O_o

NoName-chan: Yeah, but you wouldn't even have an FFN account if I hadn't made you create one!

Ben-kun: *nods his head* True, true….

NoName-chan: Anyways, it was really awkward when I discovered Bloodsteel 45 was a guy and I already suffered the pain once, so can we please move on?!

Kanda: PFFT NO-

NoName-chan: *hits Kanda over the head with my shovel* WE'RE MOVING ON! Anyway, Bloodsteel 45! Ben-kun? Ya ready to fight~?

Ben-kun and Bloodsteel 45: * jump up and face each other* You bet your ass we are!

NoName-chan: Alright! *grabs my shovel and stands by Ben* Let's get started!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: O.o

Allen: Um… NoName-chan, what are you doing...?

NoName-chan: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm helping Ben-kun!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….

Lavi: Um… Why…? O.o

NoName-chan: *smiles super sweetly, a small tick mark appearing on my cheek, and gestures toward Bloodsteel* Because this asshole tried to rust my shovel in our PMs! Okay, first off: *swings shovel around expertly* One does not simply ruin my shovel! It is invincible!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: You don't have to tell us THAT twice… -.-;;;

NoName-chan: And secondly, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, defies me! NOBODY! So,*narrows eyes darkly* I'm gonna help Ben-kun and kick this little fucker's ass!

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *pale* I've never seen her look so… evil… o_o

NoName-chan: So, *looks up, grinning demonically* let's begin~!

Lenalee: *whirls around and shakes Camera Guy by the shoulders violently* OH MY GOD CUT TO COMMERCIAL BREAK NOW!

Camera Guy: OKAY OKAY OKAY!

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE BEGIN*

"MAPS TO THE SECRET YAOI ROOM BELOW THE STAGE~!" *99.9% of the fangirl population orders*

"BEN-KUN'S SINGING VOLUME 1~!" *Ben's fans order*

"A PICTURE OF THE RARE DGM FANBOY~!" *wildlife photographers order*

"SHOVELSHOVELMOTHERFUCKER~!" *NoName-chan orders*

*COMMERCIAL SEQUENCE END*

*We return to the set to find Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, and Tyki looking really… confused. Road, of course, is not doing the same thing as them because she never does and is sipping a Pepsi casually. Meanwhile, Ben-kun, Bloodsteel 45, and I are sitting in a circle on the floor… playing cards?*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: ….

Road: *sluuuuurp*

Bloodsteel 45: *inspects his cards* NoName-chan, got any 5's?

NoName-chan: Go fish.

Bloodsteel 45: *grabs a card from the pile*

NoName-chan: *inspects my own cards* Hm… Ben-kun, got any 3's?

Ben-kun: *hands over a card*

NoName-chan: Thank yo- *looks at the card* …. Ben-kun, this is a 7.

Ben-kun: Really? It looked like a 4 to me 0.o

NoName-chan: But I didn't even ask for a 4- you know what, never mind, your turn.

Ben-kun: 'Kay~! ^.^ Bloodsteel 45, got any Q's?

NoName-chan and Bloodsteel 45: ….

Allen: … I'm confused….

NoName-chan: *sighs* Allen, we all are. But that's just how Ben-kun is.

Allen: No, not that! Well, yes that, too, but no! I mean… *gestures to our game* WHAT IS ALL THIS?! O.e

NoName-chan: *raises an eyebrow* GoFish? 0.o

Allen: NO! I mean, WHY ARE YOU GUYS PLAYING CARDS?! WEREN'T YOU GOING TO FIGHT?! SO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!

NoName-chan: Okay, first of all: *hits Allen over the head with my shovel* STOP FUCKING SHOUTING WE ARE INSIDE! Second of all, simple: *gushes* D'awww I can't fight a fan~! ^.^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …. Eh? o_o

NoName-chan: I can't fight a fan! These people support my stories and keep me going even when I'm down in the dumps! Why would I want to hurt them? *blows kisses to the Audience* I love you guys~! ^.^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: … But-

NoName-chan: No 'but's.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: …. *siiigh*

NoName-chan: Glad we could come to an understanding. Anyways, *looks at Bloodsteel* we've got to get this E-C-T moving, so can you return to the Audience, please?

Bloodsteel 45: No problem! *gets up and returns to his seat in the Audience*

NoName-chan: Wonderful~! *grins* Well, that ends the Fanmail Round! So now, it's time for…

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: *pale* Oh shit…

NoName-chan: THE AUTHORESS'S CHOICE ROUND~!

Ben-kun, Lenalee, Road: YAY~! ^-^

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: NO~! T_T

Tyki: *fixing his hair in the relection of a handheld mirror*

NoName-chan: So, as you can probably guess, I already know exactly what we're going to do today! And it starts with the Usagi-Twins, so get up here, ladies~!

Kanda, Lavi, Tyki: *pale*

Usagi-Twins: *walk onto the stage* 'Sup.

NoName-chan: These two lovely ladies Suggested the idea that we all go ice skating! So… Yeah, we're going ice skating.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: … Ice skati-?

NoName-chan: *jumps up to stand on the coffee table in a determined pose* I HAVE SPOKEN! *looks down at the Twins* So, where are we going?

Usagi-Twins: We know this really good ice skating pond, but it's not within driving distance, so we're gonna have to take a plane.

NoName-chan: *eyes widen* A PLANE?! You know I can't afford that-

Usagi-Twins: It's okay, we've got it covered! A private jet is waiting for us at the airport.

NoName-chan: Oh, okay. But we can't take the entire camera crew on a plane…. *sigh* Damn! We have to use the handheld camera for this! *reaches into my bra and pulls out a REALLY old camera that spazzes in and out of shot constantly*

Allen: Wait, didn't we have a newer handheld camera for the Apology Notice? What happened to it? O.o

NoName-chan: Ben-kun ate it.

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: ….. *stare at Ben-kun*

Ben-kun: It tasted like pianos! ^.^

Allen: *looks at me* Is he on drugs?

NoName-chan: Probably. Come on, let's go, guys! *heads toward the door*

Lenalee: WAIT!

NoName-chan: *stops and looks back at her* What is it, Lenalee? O.o

Lenalee: *holds up her Dark Boots* Can I please put my boots back on now? T~T

NoName-chan: Huh? Yeah, of course you can, the 10 minutes were over a long time ago!

Lenalee: Yay~! ^.^ *puts her boots back on*

Now, come on, everyone! *walks out of the the room*

Usagi-Twins, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *follow me*

*view switches over to the handheld camera*

NoName-chan, Usagi-Twins, Ben-kun, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *in front of the airport*

NoName-chan: Ah, it's been too long since I've been on an airplane~ *turns around to look at the others* Alright, before we get through all that Security shit, does ANYONE here have an issue with riding an airplane?

Tyki: *raises his hand* Yeah, I get plane sic-

NoName-chan: Good! Now, let's go! *gestures for everyone to follow me and walks into the airport*

Usagi-Twins and Road: *grin* Coming~ *walk after me*

Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Tyki: *sigh and follow*

Ben-kun: *inchworms after us* WHEEEEEEEEEE I'M A PLANE~! ^u^

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan: *puts my shovel in the bin thingy to be checked with the X-Ray thing*

Security Guy: *stares at it with a raised eyebrow*

NoName-chan: *hands him a slip of paper* It's been cleared, don't worry. *walks through the metal detector*

Security Guy: *sighs and pushes the button to make my shoes and shovel go through the X-Ray thing* NEXT!

Ben-kun: *puts his shoes, several chewed up Hotwheels, a slobbery soccer ball, and a salt grinder in the bin*

Security Guy: *looks at the items* Sir, are these REALLY, necessary…? e.e

Ben-kun: *super serious face* Yes. Yes they are. *walks through the metal detector*

Security Guy: *siiigh. Pushes the button* NEXT!

Lenalee: *puts her inactivated Dark Boots, 2 completely unneeded pairs of Crocks from the gift shop, and several yaoi doujinshi books in the bin*

Security Guy: ….. May I ask why you need to bring 2 pairs of Crocks with you on an airplane, miss? e.e

Lenalee: One should always keep at least 2 extra pairs of shoes on them at all times, and NoName-chan burned all of mine earlier ^.^ *walks through the metal detector*

Security Guy: *siiiiiiiigh. Pushes the button* NEXT!

Tyki: *puts his shoes, a Powerpuff Girls flashlight, an extra pair of rainbow leopard print booty shorts, a pair of glittery red stilettos, a rolled up newspaper, a makeup bag, a comb, a handheld mirror, and some Juicy Fruit flavored chapstick, most items of which were pulled out of his underwear, in the bin*

Security Guy: … You know what, I'm not even going to bother. Go ahead, sir.

Tyki: Thank you~! ^.^ *walks through the metal detector*

Security Guy: *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.* I seriously hate my job sometimes… *pushes the button* NEXT!

Kanda: *puts his shoes in the bin and walks through the metal detector*

Metal Detector: *goes off*

Security Guy: *walks up to Kanda tiredly* I'm going to have to check you for weapons, sir.

Kanda: *rolls his eyes irritably* Che.

Security Guy: *pats down Kanda's sides, quickly hitting Mugen* ….. Sir, is that a katana?

Kanda: Yeah?

Security Guy: I'm afraid we can't let you take that on the plane, sir.

Kanda: *narrows eyes* Just try and stop me. *unsheathes Mugen, and-*

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *walk into the tunnel thingy*

Boarding Check Lady: Have a safe flight~! ^.^

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: Thank you~! ^.^

Kanda: CHE.

Lavi: *grins and pokes his cheek* Awww, is Yuu-chan mad because the airport made him give his sword to Allen for safekeeping~?

Kanda: *shoots him a death glare* If you value that finger, you'll keep it to yourself.

Allen: *holding the sheathed Mugen awkwardly* Um… So what exactly am I supposed to do with this…? O.o

Lenalee: Just keep it safe, Allen.

Kanda: *SNORT* Like HELL he's going to be able to do that! *snatches Mugen from Allen* Now give me that back before you break it!

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan: *walks up to the pilot* Hello, we have this plane reserved as a private jet! ^.^

Pilot: *raises an eyebrow* Um… Who are you? O.o

NoName-chan: Um… NoName-chan? O.o

Pilot: I'm sorry, miss, but I received no word about anybody reserving this plane today.

NoName-chan: What? O.o *looks at the Twins* I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU GOT US A PRIVATE JET! O.e

Usagi-Twins: We did. *take out pistols and point it to the pilot's face* MOVE!
Pilot: O_O Y-Yes… *pees his pants and walks to the overhead carry-on compartments*
Usagi-Twins: GET IN!
Pilot: *gets in with a whimper*
Usagi-Twins: *close it with creepy smiles on their faces* Goodnight~
*CHHHH*

*The plane drives down the runway and takes off*

Ben-kun: *running around, flapping his arms like a bird* WHEEEEEEEEEE I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!

NoName-chan and Road: *chasing after Ben* SIT THE FUCK DOWN THAT'S AGAINST AIRPORT REGULATION!

Allen: Isn't hijacking a freaking plane against regulation, too? -.-;;

Lenalee: *looking around* Who's driving this thing, anyway? O.o

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *in the pilot compartment*

Choco: *eating a sandwich with her foot on the wheel*

Candy: *pushing random buttons* SO COLORFUL~! ^.^

*CHHHH*

Tyki: *crying loudly*

Lenalee: What's wrong, Tyk? D:

Tyki: *SOB* THE AIRPORT CONFISCATED MY HAND CREAM! T~T

Allen: Nobody cares-

Tyki: *throws his hands up dramatically, hitting Allen in the face* MY HAND CREEEEEAAAAAMMMMMMM! TT_TT

*CHHHH*

Road: *doing gymnastics down the aisle* WOO HOO~!

Ben-kun: *clapping* YAY! GO ROAD~! ^.^

Usagi-Twins: *sitting next to Ben, rolling their eyes* Whatever, but if she fucking breaks something, we'll-

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *looking around* GOD, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BEVERAGE SERVICE?!

Lavi: Shouldn't you be flying the plane? O.o

Usagi-Twins: ….

Allen, Kanda, Lavi: O_O

NoName-chan: Whatever guys, I gotta pee *gets up and heads toward the bathroom*

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan: *sleeping on the toilet*

*CHHHH*

Kanda: *unsheathes Mugen* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, BAKA USAGI!

Lavi: *yelps like the pussy he is and runs for his life*

Kanda: *chases him toward the pilot compartment*

Allen: Where are they going? 0.o

Road: *shrugs* Who knows?

*everybody suddenly feels the plane bump slightly*

Lenalee: *jumps* What was that? o_o

Road: *puts a hand on Lenalee's shoulder* Calm down, Lena, it was probably nothing. Everything's fine.

Lenalee: *relaxes a bit* Yeah, I don't know what I'm worrying about. I'm sure you're right-

*The plane suddenly comes crashing down*

*CHHHH*

Ben-kun: *SCREEEEAAAAMMMM*

*CHHHH*

Road: *hands in the air* WHEEEEEEEEE~!

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *completely oblivious to the fact that the plane's crashing* Goddammit, what is taking that damn beverage service so long?

*CHHHH*

Tyki: *SHRIEK* MY HAAAAAIIIIRRRR!

Allen: YOU'RE SO GAAAYYYYYYY!

*CHHHH*

Lenalee: *Crocks go flying out the window* MY SHOOOEEEESSSS! T_T

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan: *SNORE*

*CHHHH*

*BOOM! Fiery crash, muthafuckahs~*

*CHHHH*

*Shot of the smoking remnants of the plane*

*CHHHH*

NoName-chan: *kicks the bathroom door, which is somehow still in one piece, open, rubbing my eyes* What the hel- *sees the rubble* O_O WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU GUYS DO?!

Ben-kun, Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *get up, groaning*

NoName-chan: *calls out loudly* Is everyone okay?

Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: *silently stare at me with "Are you fucking kidding me?" expressions because I'm literally 5 feet away from everyone*

NoName-chan: *calls out louder* IS EVERYONE OKAY?!

Usagi-Twins, Allen, Kanda, Lavi, Lenalee, Road, Tyki: YES, NONAME-CHAN, WE'RE FINE!

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *Dark expressions and deadliest voices* Who crashed the plane?

NoName-chan: I don't fucking know I was taking a nap!

Allen: On the toilet? O.o

NoName-chan: ….. *hits him over the head with my shovel* SHUT UP!

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *start wailing, gesturing to their filthy and torn up dresses* Our favorite dresses are RUINED! *death glares at Kanda and Lavi* You're going to pay for this…

Kanda and Lavi: Oh shit… o_o

*CHHHH*

Usagi-Twins: *chasing Kanda and Lavi with Mugen and my shovel* DIE, YOU LITTLE FUCKERS!

Kanda and Lavi: *SCREEEEEAAAAAMMMMM*

*CHHHH*

Lavi: *narrowly ducks under a swing of my shovel with a yelp*

Candy: WHEN I CATCH YOU, I'M GOING TO-

*CHHHH*

Choco: *stabs at Kanda with Mugen* KYAH!

Kanda: *dives to the side, doing a tuck-and-roll maneuver to avoid the blade*

*CHHHH*

Candy: *swings my shovel at Kanda* DIE!

Kanda: *narrowly ducks. Grabs Allen and chucks him at her*

Allen: *crashes into Candy* OW! KANDA, YOU LITTLE-

Kanda: FUCK OFF! *runs for it*

*CHHHH*

Lavi: OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT! *running with all his might*

Choco: *tackles him and holds Mugen to his throat* GOTCHA!

Lavi: *SCREAM*

Lenalee: 0.o Um… Should we do something…?

NoName-chan, Ben-kun, Road, Tyki: *playing cards* Nah, I'm sure they're fine~

*CHHHH*

*the camera starts spazzing in and out of focus with more clips of the Twins chasing and beating up Kanda and Lavi mixed with static*

*CHHHH*

Kanda: OW! YOU PSYCHO-

*CHHHH*

Lavi: N-NOW CAN WE PLEASE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS-

*CHHHH*

*echoes of screaming*

*CHHHH*

*We suddenly open up to everybody skating at a frozen pond, everything back to normal, including the cameras. Everyone's skating, except Kanda and Lavi seem to be avoiding the Twins*

Lenalee: *skating, incredibly wobbly* Look, Tyk! I'm doing it! :D

Tyki: *doing only slightly better than she is at the art* Great job, Lena! You're like a pro! :D

Lenalee: *looks up at him, her eyes sparkling with hope* Y-You really think so? :'D

Tyki: Awww, of course I d- ^.^

NoName-chan: WOO HOO~! *expertly skates around them, does a triple axel jump, lands, does several camel spins, and skates away backwards*

Tyki: o_o

Lenalee: ….. *cries*

NoName-chan: *skates around the pond, doing several tricks* THIS IS AWESOME~! ^.^

Ben-kun: *on his knees, his tongue stuck to the ice* IT SURE IS~! ^.^

NoName-chan: *pauses as I pass him. Stares for several seconds.* … You know what, have fun with that, Ben-kun. *returns to expertly skating*

Ben-kun: *gives me a thumbs up* WILL DO, NEE-CHAN~! ^.^

Road: *picking icicles off of trees nearby* Hehehehe~

Kanda and Lavi: *reluctantly skating around a small corner of the pond*

Kanda: *shivers* I hate those girls so much…

Lavi: *rubs his crossed arms with his hands* I'm with you there, Yuu-chan…

Kanda: DON'T CALL ME-

Road: *spontaneously stabs Kanda in the shoulder with an icicle* KYAH!

Kanda: ASDGDHJDRHFMWIRKDJDJERFJURHTNRWEGCUWREJXIJHUWKOERJIRCEHW?/!

Lavi: O_O OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Road: *laughs* TAG, YOU'RE IT! *quickly skates away*

Kanda: *collapses to his knees, clutching his shoulder* IFUCKINGHATEYOUYOULITTLELOLITAWHORE

Road: WOOOOOO! *skates to the other side of the rink*

Allen: *standing around near the Twins* So…. What now? 0.o

Usagi-Twins: *stroke their chins methodically* Hmmmmm….. *LIGHTBULBS* WHO WANTS TO PLAY ICE HOCKEY~?

Road: *skates up to them* I DO!

Allen: Okay, sure! ^.^

NoName-chan: *does a flying spin over to them* Count me in~!

Lenalee and Tyki: *shakily skate over to us* We'll give it a try! ^.^

Ben-kun: *has even more of his tongue stuck to the ice now* Mmph mmph mmph mmph! ^.^ (Translation: I can't move, but I'd love to! ^.^)

Usagi-Twins: Then it's settled! *look across the pond* Hey, Kanda, Lavi! Wanna play hockey?

Kanda: *clutching his shoulder, trembling and spitting evil things under his breath*

Lavi: I-I-I think we'll pass…

Usagi-Twins: *shrug* Suit yourselves~ *look at me* Well, NoName-chan~?

NoName-chan: *grins and pulls several hockey sticks and a hockey puck out of my bra* Let's play~

*1 hour of ice hockey and little to minor injury later*

NoName-chan: *sits down on the snowy lake bank* Ah, I'm exhausted!

Allen, Lenalee, Tyki: *sit next to me* Same here!

Ben-kun: *nods in agreement, his tongue still stuck to the ice*

Road: *stretches her back leisurely* I don't know what you guys are complaining about, that was fun~

NoName-chan: *smiles* It really was, wasn't it? Well, no matter the case, *stands up and stretches* I'm totally pooped! *look at the Twins* Did you guys get us a ride home?

Usagi-Twins: *hold up a cell phone* Way ahead of you~

*A helicopter arrives and sends a rope down for us*

NoName-chan: You got us a chopper! Nice! *looks at the others* Well, everyone, get on! It's time to go back to the NoName-chan FanFiction Co. Building!

Allen, Lenalee, Tyki: 'Kay~! *board the helicopter*

NoName-chan: Excellent! *looks down at Ben* … Um, need some assistance…?

Ben-kun: *nods his head pitifully*

NoName-chan: *looks at Road* Hey, Road, mind unsticking Ben-kun on your way in?

Road: My pleasure~ *rips Ben's tongue from the ice*

Ben-kun: *SCREAM. Rubs his bloody tongue* Thank you~! ^.^

Ben-kun and Road: *board the helicopter*

NoName-chan: Awesome! *looks across the ice* Lavi? Kanda?

Lavi: *skates toward me, dragging Kanda, who is now unconscious from blood loss, by the ankle* COMING! *carries Kanda onto the helicopter*

NoName-chan: Alright, that should be everybody! *looks at the Twins* After you, ladies~

Usagi-Twins: Why thank you~ *board the helicopter*

NoName-chan: *grins* Time for one epic ride home~! *starts climbing up the rope to the helicopter, but accidentally hits the power button on the camera in the process, turning it off before it can capture any of the ride back*

*Screen goes black*

*20 minutes later*

*We open back up to find ourselves back in the NoName-chan FanFiction Co. Building surrounded by smoking rubble. The helicopter is on fire behind us, and there's a huge hole in the wall to the outside*

NoName-chan: *stands up, smoking, and looks around* Is everybody okay?

Lenalee: *slowly gets to her feet, rubbing her neck* Ow… What happened…? e_e

NoName-chan: We accidentally crashed the helicopter into my building, that's what.

Lavi: *gets up as well* What? How the hell did we do that? o_o

NoName-chan: I have no clue whatsoever…

Allen: *staggers to his feet* Seriously? That's the second aircraft today! Who did it this time? e_e

Usagi-Twins: *whistle nonchalantly and hurriedly exit the room*

NoName-chan: Doesn't matter. Is everybody alright? *looks around*

Tyki: *Running around, on fire. SCREEEEAAAAMMMM*

Kanda: *still unconscious and slowly bleeding to death from Road's candle wound*

Ben-kun: *has a sharp piece of wreckage lodged in his leg. Pokes it* Hehehe it tickles~ ^.^

NoName-chan: Hm… Yup, looks like everything's just fine~

Allen: "FINE"?! WOMAN, THE ENTIRE ROOM IS ON FIRE AND 3 PEOPLE ARE IN CRITICAL CONDITION! HOW IS THIS FINE?! O_O

NoName-chan: *clutches the curtains, which aren't burnt in the slightest, lovingly* Because my curtains are still fireproofed after that time they caught on fire in the TGR Author Note Room~

Allen, Lavi, Lenalee: Oooooof course that's the only thing you care about… -.-;;;

NoName-chan: Does this really surprise you guys anymore? I mean, really? -_-

Road: *stands up, stretching* So what now?

NoName-chan: Well, I guess since about 1/3 of our cast is about to die, it's about time we end this Episode-Chapter-Thingy. *smiles at the camera* Thank you all so much for your continued support of DGS, despite the fact that it's been 5 months since my last Update! You guys have been really awesome, and I can't thank you enough! Sorry that I've been such a lame Hostess/Authoress, but a lot's happened since I last updated, so I hope this 25k+ word Episode-Chapter-Thingy was enough to tide you over! So. thanks once again for putting up with all of my bullshit, and be sure to keep sending in Suggestions so we can keep this Show-FanFiction-Thingy Going! Arigatou soshite sayonara!

End of Episode-Chapter-Thingy 4

---

Extra: Me and Kanda's Date

Kanda: *in his room at the Order. Hears a knock at his door* What the hel-? *goes to answer it*

NoName-chan: *on the other side of the door with a bouquet of lotuses* Surprise muthafuckah~

Kanda: *jumps back, unsheathes Mugen, and points it at my throat* WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

NoName-chan: *rolls my eyes and uses my finger to move the tip of the blade away from me* Get that oversized toothpick out of my face, Kanda, I'm here for our date.

Kanda: DATE?!- *suddenly remembers my Dare* Oh yeah… *sheathes Mugen with an annoyed sigh* Let's just get this over with… *storms past me angrily*

NoName-chan: OI, ASSHOLE, THE DARE SPECIFIED THAT IT BE ROMANTIC, REMEMBER? SO TAKE YOUR DAMN FLOWERS! *holds out the bouquet*

Kanda: *looks me dead in the eye as he takes the bouquet, pulls a lighter out of his pocket, sets the flowers on fire, and dumps them in a nearby trashbin before turning around and walking away from me*

NoName-chan: *shrugs and follows him* Joke's on you, one of those lotuses was the one from your hourglass.

*10 minutes later*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *walk into a fancy restaurant*

Hostess: Oh, hello! A table for 2, I presume? *winks at us*

NoName-chan and Kanda: Unfortunately…

Hostess: O.o O…kay… *leads us to a table and sets down 2 menus*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *take our seats*

Hostess: Your waiter will be with you in a moment~! ^.^ *walks away*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *awkward silence* ….

Kanda: I do NOT ship this…

NoName-chan: Neither do I…

Waiter: *walks up to us* What can I get the lovely couple to drink~? ^.^

NoName-chan and Kanda: Do NOT insult me like that.

Waiter: …

NoName-chan: But I'll get a Sprite.

Kanda: I'll have water.

Waiter: Right away… *retrieves our drinks and comes back, setting them down on the table* Do you two know what you'd like to eat yet, or do you need a moment?

Kanda: We're ready. I'll have the tempura soba.

Waiter: Not a problem, sir! *writes something down in his little book thing before looking over at me* And for you, ma'am?

NoName-chan: *reading of the menu* Yeah, I'll have 2 tacos, a steak – medium rare, the fettuccine alfredo, a 6-count of chicken tenders with a side of fries, a pepperoni pizza, a plate of sweet and sour chicken with a side of white rice, 2 corn dogs, a side of tater tots-

Kanda: Bitch, you're getting a salad.

NoName-chan: WHAT WHY

Kanda: BECAUSE YOU'RE FAT ENOUGH AS IT IS!

NoName-chan: I WEIGH 116LBS, YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Waiter: Um, do you need another minute, miss?

NoName-chan: No, it's fine, I'll just get a burger with a side of fries…

Waiter: Certainly, ma'am. *writes something else down in his little book thing and grabs out menus* I'll be back with your food in a little bit. *walks away*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *get caught up in a glaring match.*

Kanda: I hope you get hit by a bus.

NoName-chan: You look like you already did.

*15 hate-filled minutes later*

Waiter: *puts our food on the table* Enjoy~

NoName-chan: Thank you!

Kanda: Don't tell me what to do.

Waiter: … *walks away*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *get to work on our food*

NoName-chan: *chewing like a normal person – meaning, loudly*

Kanda: *tick mark* Can you chew a bit quieter, pig?

NoName-chan: *glares at him and purposely starts chewing even louder*

Kanda: You're repulsive.

NoName-chan: And you smell like a wet dog.

Kanda: You're so fat, when you sit on a rainbow, Skittles fall out.

*MEANWHILE…*

midnightstardust: *sits straight up in bed, eyes wide* SOMEONE SAID SKITTLES!

That Cat from Episode 1 of DGM: Come back to bed, baby, I'm sure it's nothing.

midnightstardust: *shakes her head* Yeah, I'm sure you're right… *sighs* Meowsie, what are we gonna do if my Wusband finds out about the affair?

Cat: Shhhhh just go to sleep….

*BACK WITH THE SLIGHTLY LESS CRACKY PAIRING*

NoName-chan: If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Kanda: *jumps up and slams his hands down on the table* UNCULTURED SWINE!

NoName-chan: *does the same* SHE-MAN!

Waiter: *spontaneously appears at our table* WHO WANTS DESSERT~?

NoName-chan and Kanda: *glare at each other one more time and growl slightly before sitting down* Fine. We'll get ice cream sundaes.

Waiter: Right away~ *walks away*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *continue glaring at each other until he comes back*

Waiter: Here you are~ *sets something down on the table*

NoName-chan: Thank you- *looks down* … What the hell is this…

Kanda: *staring at it as well* Why… is there only one?

Waiter: Well, we only had one dish left, so we figured you two could share. *puts two spoons in the sundae* Enjoy~ *winks at us knowingly and walks away with a smile*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *eyes twitch* WE'RE NOT A COUPLE! *turn to glare at each other before we each grudgingly grab a spoon and start eating*

NoName-chan: *wipes a drop of ice cream off my cheek with the back of my hand*

Kanda: *rolls his eyes* Che. You're disgusting.

NoName-chan: *rolls my eyes at him and continues eating before accidentally spilling a drop of ice cream down my shirt. Jumps back with a shriek* OH GOD COLDCOLDCOLD!

Kanda: *SNORT* That's what you get for being such a messy eater, you dumb bitch.

NoName-chan: *narrows my eyes at him* Oh yeah? I'll show you a messy eater… *sticks my finger in the sundae and wipes ice cream on Kanda's cheek*

Kanda: *jumps slightly before a tick mark appears on his cheek* WHY YOU LITTLE-

NoName-chan: *smirks* Looks like I'm not the only one making a mess now.

Kanda: *grabs a handful of ice cream and chucks it at my face*

NoName-chan: *freezes more or less literally*

Kanda: *smirks* That's what you get.

NoName-chan: *slowly wipes the ice cream off my face, eyes narrowed at Kanda. Grabs the entire dish and dumps it on Kanda's head*

Kanda: *eyes widen. Looks up at me, rage flaring in his eyes* You… little… SHIT! *unsheathes Mugen and lunges at me*

NoName-chan: *gets out my shovel* BRING IT ON, NANCY!

*5 minutes later*

Security Guard: *throws me and Kanda out of the restaurant*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *land on our asses* OOF!

Security Guard: AND DON'T COME BACK! *slams the door*

NoName-chan and Kanda: ….. *glare at each other. Get into a girly slappy fight*

*10 minutes later*

NoName-chan and Kanda: *walking back to my house side-by-side, not looking at each other* …

Kanda: I hate you.

NoName-chan: I hate you more.

NoName-chan and Kanda: *make it to my burnt house, where we find Slaythevampire87 and Road waiting, their weapons of choice in hand*

Road: *grins* So how'd the date go~?

Kanda: God awful! I hate this bitch with a passio- MMPH!

NoName-chan: *grabs Kanda by the collar and kisses him passionately for a few seconds before releasing him and smiling at the girls* It went just wonderfully~!

Slaythevampire87: Good to hear~! ^.^ Now, let's go on a killing spree!

NoName-chan: *grins and takes out my shovel* Sounds like a plan~

NoName-chan, Slaythevampire87, Road: *walk off to go on the promised killing spree*

Kanda: *stands there, wide eyed and unmoving for several moments* … *pulls the lighter from earlier out of his pocket again and sets his tongue on fire*

---

ACTUAL AUTHOR NOTE TIME~!

Hello, my lovelies~! Sorry I took so long to update, but I hope this 24k word chapter was enough to make up for the wait~

To start us off here, I just wanna say a few things about this Episode-Chapter-Thingy. Firstly, please excuse any unintentional Grammar/Spelling/Formatting mistakes you find in this E-C-T. Usually, I read over these things, like, a thousand times before I post them, but this one is literally over 25,000 words in length, so I only read over it once, and said read-over took me 8 hours and an all-nighter to do (So, it may or may not be 6:45A.M. here right now… XD), so yeah. Secondly, some parts of this E-C-T were pushing the T rating a little bit. I think I can probably get by without upping the rating to M, but if anyone is really bothered by it, just tell me and I'll up the rating to M. Please do not report me before giving me a chance to fix it, okay? And lastly, I want to do a little Disclaimer here: The FanFiction with the tentacle smut scene that Allen and Kanda were acting out for Allen's Randomness was "Tentacles!" by Helyna. It was the only Yullen tentacle smut story I could find, but the ending of it was hilarious, so consider giving it a read sometime, 'kay? XD

Alright, onto the rant part of this A/N:

Anyways, as I'm sure you've figured out by now, a lot's happened since my last update.

First off, Ohayocon didn't go exactly as planned. You know how there was that blizzard in January? Well, Vira-chan got snowed in, so she couldn't come. It 'twas truly sad… But, oh well! There's always next year! Yuno-chan and I DID have fun at the con, though. I mean, a few minutes after we walked in, we heard a faint tune being played on the violin. We quickly realized it was The 14th's Song and started singing the lyrics in unison, which got us some stares but was still fun XD Then, we ran into a lot of DGM cosplays there. A Tyki walked up to me (ya' know, since I was dressed as Lavi) and asked if she (I'm pretty sure that was a girl in drag like me XD) could have a hug, and of course, I was like, "Yes!" and hugged her. However, she then said that her Tease ate me… Oh… *shrugs* Still fun! And then I saw a Lenalee there. She was wearing the second Exorcist uniform and her cosplay was amazing, so I wanted a picture with her. However, I wasn't sure how to ask for one, it being my first con and all, and she was ordering food, so I just kind of awkwardly stalked her for 5 minutes until she sat down before running up to her and asking. The picture turned out great, but I had dropped the handheld Lavi hammer I'd made 10 minutes before and broken it, so in the picture, I'm just holding it up awkwardly to keep it from falling apart. Oops XD Then, on the escalator, I saw a Road and waved to her very OOC-ly but she just kinda glared at me. I guess she was either staying in character or thought I was being weird (which I was 'cause I was shouting very enthusiastically XD)… Then later, Yuno-chan and I passed a Fem!Lavi. It was a good Fem!Lavi, too. But then Yuno started chanting, "FEM!LAVI FEM!LAVI FEM!LAVI FEM!LAVI…" and said Fem!Lavi gave us a weird look (We got a lot of those that day… XD)... Then there was this one time when I was whining to Yuno-chan about how dizzy the eyepatch was making me, and some random guy who was also wearing an eyepatch shouted to me, "I KNOW YOUR PAIN SO HARD!" XD Yeah. Oh! And there was this one Lavi there that I kept seeing on the escalator. He/she (they were too far away for me to tell…) would always be going on the up escalator when I was on the down one or vice versa, and every time we would just make this rape face at each other and make eye contact as we passed. That is the closest I made to a friend that day XD And….. Yeah, that's about it for interesting cosplayers we ran into. We didn't end up going on Sunday because we were both tired, so all of that fun stuff happened on Saturday. But I also got some stuff there (Volumes 1-3 of the DGM manga, Season 1 of DGM on DVD, a Road Kamelot wrist cuff thing, DGM chibi magnets, and Rin and Len Kagamine keychains), so I'm overall pretty happy :D

Okay, moving on.

So, about a month later, something not-so-great happened. I was in Ski Club at my school, and I was doing a black diamond slope. So, like, it was around 70 degrees outside, so the snow, despite being blown with snow gun things, was really slushly. But on the slope, I hit an incredibly unanticipated icy patch, skied off of a ledge thing, and crashed in a shallow creek full of rocks (which, mind you, was VERY cold). It was kinda funny hit my head on a stump that just happen to be in the creek where I crashed, so I got check for a concussion and totally started giggling at the lady asking the questions. She looked so weirded out, man XD I didn't have a concussion, but I did end up going to the ER because I unjured my knee and shoulder. The shoulder was the worst, and it took about a week before it completely stopped hurting. So… that's my excuse for why I didn't write for a week in February – the laptop puts my should at an angle that was hurting XD

So, yeah…

Welp, later on in the Spring, I ditched that FB Chat I started for a month. Why? Because it was that time of month and I got, like, seriously moody XD And while I was away, I got into the Shugo Chara fandom (Note: I have 3 fandoms: DGM, Shugo Chara, and Vocaloid) and totally lost interest in DGM for a month. So, yeah. That's my excuse for why I didn't write for a month XD

Also, in that period I was away from the chat, the whole ordeal of me catching a pet male I told you guys about in the actual E-C-T happened. So yeah.

Alright, last topic!

So, I'm on summer break from school at the moment, and last weekend I went to OMGcon in Owensboro, Kentucky, with Yuno-chan and her dad. It was a lot of fun! ^.^ I wore a Yuzuki Yukari hoodie I got on eBay the first day, a Hinamori Amu (from Shugo Chara) uniform cosplay the second day (I was the only uniform Amu there hahahaha! :D), and I just wore one of my checker print stretch pants outfits the third day (I ended up buying a Hatsune Miku dress that day, though, so I changed into that at some point before we left)~! There were only three DGM cosplays there that I saw there (a Komui, a Timcanpy, and an Allen, the latter two I took pictures of), though. I also saw two other Shugo Chara cosplays (an Amulet Spade and a Su, the latter of which asked to take a picture with me. She was way taller than me, though XD), too, though I doubt any of you guys care about that… XD Over 15 people (I lost count XD) asked for pictures of/with me in my Amu cosplay! :D I also got asked to 2 parties by random strangers who called me cute teehee~! ^/^ And several people liked the red streaks in my hair, so I felt loved~ :3 Yuno-chan and I also met two of our FFN Chat friends, Dari-chan and Ash-chan, there, which was fun! ^-^ However, there was this one guy there that creeped us out majorly. He was 18, and he saw Ash-chan (who, mind you, is 13) playing Dance Dance Revolution (which she's really good at, btw) and followed her over to us before hugging her and saying she was his new waifu. She looked so fucking terrified, you have no idea… XD Anyway, said guy later found me and Yuno in the Game Room and asked to try on my wig. I didn't want to be rude, so I let him, and he argued with me when he found out I was 14 (I look a bit older than I am… XD)… Well, anyway, throughout the rest of the con, the guy kept finding us and giving us death hugs. He even managed to find us in the middle of a dark, loud, crowded room during the rave to dance with us O.e Yeah, I know this doesn't sound all that bad at first, but look at it this way: an 18 year old man was following around a bunch of 13-15 year old girls he didn't even know and hugging them.

Yup. It was an interesting experience XD

BUT, Yuno-chan's dad was nice and bought us each a wall scroll (she got an Attack on Titan one, I got a Megurine Luka one), and I bought myself a Hatsune Miku dress, a Luka keychain, and Volume 4 of DGM, so it was worth being followed around by a potential rapist ^.^

Yup. That's all the news I've got.

So, thanks again for reading this REDICULOUSLY LONG Episode-Chapter-Thingy, and be sure to keep sending in your Suggestions! I personally prefer if you do that by reviewing simply because it's hard for me to keep track of the many Suggestions I'm getting when I have to go back and forth between Reviews and PMs and sometimes I forget people's because of all the clutter, but I will accept Suggestions in PMs~! So keep sending them in, and thank you once again!

Ciao~! ^.^

This has been NoName-chan, over and out~