A/N: Thank you for the reviews, favorites and follows, I do appreciate it. This started out as a two/three shot but it's looking like it will end up being four chapters. The next chapter is completed I just need to review it a bit, so it should be up in the next few days. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

It had been a week since Alex had left. One miserable, hellish week in Olivia's opinion. She had tried repeatedly to talk to Alex but was unsuccessful. She had left numerous voicemails on Alex's phone but each one had gone unanswered. She had tried calling her at work and had stopped by her office but each time was told Alex was unavailable or out of the office. The only thing she was holding onto was the fact that Alex had yet to come back and take the rest of her things. Of course she knew that Alex had been tied up in court that week, and figured that was why she hadn't completely moved out.

Two days after she left Olivia found out that Alex had spent the first two nights at her sister's house but had come back into the city to be close to work and was now staying with her father. She only knew this because she had received a heated phone call from Alex's younger sister Lori. Olivia had always gotten along well with the younger Cabot and thought she was the quieter of the sisters. After that phone call Olivia thanked God it didn't happen in person. She remained quiet while Lori told her how she held Alex all night as she cried over the brunette, how she had listened to her cry for months. She informed Olivia that she told Alex it was time to move on. Olivia also had no idea the young woman could curse like she did. She called Olivia every name in the book, and Olivia couldn't help but agree with her. She informed Lori that she really was sorry and asked her to tell Alex that, but she was pretty sure the message was not relayed.

While she had went to work every day she spent her evenings at home getting better acquainted with the different wines they had, within the week she had successfully emptied every bottle they owned. She would call Alex and plead with her voicemail to come home then start on a bottle.

When it came to work she knew the others could tell something was going on but no one was brave enough to ask. When Munch mentioned that Alex hadn't been by in a few days she nearly lost it but held it together just long enough to make it to the restroom. The longer the week went on the worse her mood became. Finally on Thursday Fin, the only one with enough nerve to call her out, asked her why she had been so bitchy all week. She decided there was no reason to subject her coworkers to her mood and called and took a personal day on Friday.

It was now Saturday afternoon, and after waking up with the worst hang over she'd had in years, Olivia had finally worked up the courage to go see Alex in person. She was prepared to sit on the steps all day if that is what it took for Alex to finally let her in.

As she stood at the door of Robert Cabot's Upper East Side brownstone Olivia could feel her nerves kicking in. She ran her hands along her jeans one last time to dry them before knocking. When Robert opened the door Olivia felt more nervous than she did the first time she met the man. Robert was in his early sixties but to look at him you wouldn't believe it. Olivia had met Alex's mother once before she entered the program and knew that the blonde looked like her mother, but she looked like her father as well. Robert had the same piercing blue eyes as Alex, and it broke Olivia's heart to look at them.

"Hello Robert."

"Olivia." his tone and body language left no doubt that he was not happy with the brunette.

Olivia shifted nervously but did her best to look him in the eye "Is Alex home?" Home, it didn't feel right saying that about anywhere but their apartment.

"I'm afraid not, she's out looking at apartments right now."

At those words Olivia thought for sure she was going to be sick. Alex really was serious about leaving. Olivia had known she had a lot of work to do to repair the damage she had done but now she knew time was critical. She had to prove to Alex how much she truly cared for her. She turned to leave, only asking that he tell Alex she had been there. She was surprised though when Robert stopped her and asked her to come in.

Once sitting in the living room Olivia was growing more nervous at what he was going to say. No matter how much it might hurt she knew she deserved everything she received.

"You hurt my little girl." Robert said in a serious tone.

"Yes sir I did." Olivia said in a defeated voice.

Robert leaned forward sighed before speaking "I think the only time I have seen her more upset than she has been this week was when she returned from the program and visited her mother's grave. Olivia you swore you would never hurt her, and yet you did. What I want to know is why. Why did you hurt her like you did?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip as she struggled not to cry. "I don't know why I did it. I know that's no excuse but I can't even explain it to myself." She took a deep breath as she looked him in the eye "What I do know is that I've made a terrible mistake and I am willing to do anything to get her back."

The older man shook his head "That's easier said than done Olivia." he watched as her face fell even more, if that was possible. "Olivia I could be wrong but I think Alex still loves you, and that she always will. She does however seem intent on moving on with her life."

Olivia nods sadly and gets up to leave. She is walking toward the door when he stops her again.

"Olivia I have always liked you and I think that you and Alex are good together, but I won't stand by and watch her be hurt again." he placed his hand on her shoulder "If you are serious about getting her back then you need to prove to her that you love her and that she matters to you."

Olivia nods "I'll do anything."

He tilts his head "If she asks my opinion though I'll be honest with her, that you are good together but if she's not happy then she needs to move on."

Olivia nods sadly as she thanks him and asks that he tell Alex she had stopped by. As she turns to the door she freezes as Alex walks in. Olivia feels her heart seize at how much she loves the blonde, but at the same time she hates herself for the look of pain in Alex's eyes knowing she's the one who put it there.

It's the first time they've seen each other in a week and Alex feels all the pain again she felt the night she walked out the door. As bad as she feels though she can't help but feel the love she has for the brunette.

"How…how are you doing?" Olivia stumbled out.

"Okay." Alex whispered. "Are you okay?"

Olivia nodded but both knew they were lying. Alex wouldn't admit it, at least not right now, but all week she's been terrified something would happen to Olivia and she would have to live with the fact that the last time they saw each other it had ended in a fight.

Olivia stepped closer "Alex can we talk?"

Alex shook her head "No."

"Please Alex."

Alex is about to say no again but she catches sight of her dad, the look on his face says that maybe she should listen to what she has to say. She quickly looks away though. "Olivia I only have a few minutes. I stopped to get a quick bite before I go see another apartment." She can tell the remark hurt based on the look on Olivia's face.

"If you two want to have some privacy to talk I have tickets to the playoff game tonight." He smiles trying to lighten the mood "I have to support my Yankees."

Alex is more than a little ticked that her dad is interfering but at the same time she knows they need to talk and get everything out in the open. Whether they stay together or not depends on that conversation. She runs her fingers through her hair and sighs in frustration. "Fine. Be back here at six." She looks the brunette square in the eye "If you're not here at six don't ever bother coming back."

Olivia nodded, trying to keep from getting her hopes up "I'll be here at six." She tells Alex and Robert goodbye then hurries out the door. It's her weekend off but she knows how quickly that can change, and she's not about to blow this chance. She places a quick call to Amanda and asks if she would cover for her if there's a call out. The young detective had known something had been bothering her all week and told her she would cover.

Olivia spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what she was going to say. She was pacing the living room when her eyes landed on one of the pictures on the wall. It was from two summers ago when they had spent a couple weeks in Italy. She noticed how happy and in love they looked, she couldn't help but wonder how she had let it them get to the point they were at. When she noticed the time she hurried and changed, she wanted to leave early so as not to risk being late. On the cab ride to Robert's Olivia promised herself that she's not going to leave until Alex knows that she regrets how she has treated her and how sorry she truly is. She wants Alex to know that all she wants is to spend the rest of her life with her.

Alex nervously watched the clock waiting to see if Olivia returns. She tries to cement the wall she'd built around her heart in the past week. She's not going to give in, Olivia hurt her once she'll do it again. She decides that she'll let Olivia have her say then she'll tell her that she can't continue to live like this and she will get her things out as soon as possible. She sits down in the chair and picks up a paper from one of the apartments she looked at that day. She really liked this one as well as the neighborhood it was in, but found she couldn't see herself there without Olivia. Alex threw the paper on the coffee table and quickly pushed the thoughts from her mind.

Alex took a deep breath when she heard the doorbell ring, five till six, she knew Olivia would be early. As she walked into the hallway a picture sitting on the table caught her eye. It was taken the previous Christmas at her sister's house. She could feel tears welling up at the amount of love and happiness that was evident in the picture. She wished desperately they could go back to that day.

After allowing Olivia in they both go back to the living room and sit down, Alex in the chair and Olivia across from her on the sofa. Both were nervous and not sure what to say or do. Never in all the time they'd been together did they think they would be nervous around one another. Olivia looked at Alex, it was obvious the pain she was feeling. She mentally berated herself again for what she had done. Alex could see the hurt in Olivia's eyes along with the dark circles underneath them. It was evident the brunette hadn't been sleeping, part of her was happy that Olivia was suffering but at the same time she hated to see her in pain.

After a long, awkward silence Alex decided to speak. "If you want to keep the apartment that's fine with me. I'll go ahead and help with this month's rent and utilities since the month is half over. If you don't want to stay there I'll pay half the cost of breaking the lease early."

Olivia can't hold back any longer and bursts into tears "Please no Alex. I'm so sorry for what I've done. I'll do anything!"

"Maybe you should've thought of that sooner." Alex replies in a hurtful tone. While she didn't intend for it to come out that way part of her wanted Olivia to feel as badly as she has felt.

Olivia slid forward in her chair as she prepared to pour her heart out. "Alex I am so sorry. I know that's little consolation now but you will never know how sorry I am for what I've done. Looking back I can now see that something was wrong but I was to blind and stupid to notice. This is all my fault Alex. I have never loved anyone the way I love you and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone other than you." she stopped for a moment to catch her breath.

Alex quickly wiped her tears, angry that she'd allowed herself to show this much emotion. As upset as she is with herself she feels her heart break again as she watches Olivia cry. She is also happy to hear Olivia say it is her fault, but deep down Alex knows she can't allow her to take all the blame. "Olivia it's not all your fault. I knew how I was feeling and I could've said something."

Olivia looked surprised. "No Alex none of this is your fault. It is my job to know when something is wrong and I should've done something about it. I should've asked what was wrong, or more importantly I should've realized what I was doing and corrected it." she gets up and walks over and drops to her knees next to the younger woman. "Alex I want a life with you. Please, please come back to me. I promise things will be different this time."

Alex is shocked by what just happened. Olivia is on her knees begging her forgiveness and for her to come back, Olivia doesn't beg. "How can you say that for sure? How do I know your job won't come between us?" she knew it wasn't just the job but it was a huge factor.

"Because I won't allow it." she reached for her purse and pulled an envelope out "This is my resignation letter."

Alex's eyes widened in surprise. Olivia was willing to leave the force for her. She was about to speak but was cut off.

"I am ready to leave here and go straight to the precinct and leave it on Cragen's desk." She took a deep breath. "I'm serious Alex. I will do anything in the world to have you back with me."

The honest and sincere look in Olivia's eyes had shot straight to her heart, her broken heart. She stood and walked to the door, Olivia reluctantly following.

Olivia is growing more scared with each passing moment that Alex doesn't say anything. She gently placed a hand on Alex's arm "Alex, please say something."

Alex turned to look her in the eye "Olivia I love you, and I always will but I can't do this. I can't allow my heart to be broken again like this. I…I just can't do this."

Olivia felt the last few pieces of her heart shatter. Part of her was telling her she needed to fight, but another part said that if this is what will make Alex happy then she'll do it. She wipes the tears from her eyes as she nods in understanding. "I hope you'll be happy, that's all I've ever wanted for you." she placed a gentle kiss to Alex's cheek "I will never stop loving you Alex." And with that she walked out the door.

Alex leaned against the wall and slid to the floor as the tears flowed freely. Something told her she should go after Olivia but she just couldn't make herself go. Her heart had never been broken like it was now, and she refused to ever let it happen again.

Olivia made it three blocks before she had to stop. Her lungs were burning from crying as well as the cool evening air. She thought for sure Alex would give her a second chance. She watches as a car comes down the street, silently hoping it would jump the curb and hit her. If she didn't have Alex nothing mattered anymore, her only reason for living was gone. Not wanting to take the subway and have to deal with the looks and stares she stepped out into the street and hailed a cab. As the cab pulled up she reached out and opened the door but was taken by surprise when a hand reached out and slammed it shut. Olivia looked up in surprise "Alex?"

Olivia stepped back from the cab and motioned the driver to go. The pair stood there on the sidewalk staring at one another. "I really am sorry." Olivia whispers.

"So am I."

After another long period of silence Olivia spoke up "Can I call you later, maybe tomorrow?"

Alex nodded, a small smile spreading across her face "I'd like that."