Chapter Six

Desire

Just as Paarthurnax was about to head up towards the house, Odahviing stopped him. This is what transpired.

"Do you remember the females Paarthurnax?" Odahviing asked, "How beautiful they were?"

Paarthurnax shook himself as if he were a dog, "I try not to think about it honestly" he answered

Odahviing nodded in partial understanding, "Where do you think they are?"

Paarthurnax shrugged, for he honestly didn't know.

"Why?" the Greybeard Master asked, "Why do you care so much?"

Odahviing shed a small tear; he allowed it to fall to the ground. Upon impact the tear turned into a small flame and then burnt itself out.

"I've been looking for them" Odahviing answered, "That's where I've been going. To the border regions...It gives me hope, thinking that eventually I will find one, that I will find her."

Paarthurnax sighed and shook his head in pity, "You're not still going on about her are you?" Paarthurnax asked, "It was ages ago, even if she is alive what makes you think that she even remembers you?"

Odahviing and Paarthurnax, for a change of pace, slowly walked towards the house, carefully moving through the trees and giving the orchard a wide berth.

Odahviing laughed, "The Blades remember you well enough for something that you did hundreds of years ago. What makes you think that she's forgotten? I can feel it Paarthurnax, she is alive, I will find her and when I do, we can finally do what we were sent here to do. Akatosh did not create us to be alone; he created us to bring a new creation to Nirn. How can we do that without females hmmm?"

Paarthurnax, although he sympathized with him, still held his ground. "You are still many years young Odahviing. You have yet to understand what that kind of freedom would mean."

"That kind of freedom?" Odahviing exclaimed, "How could anyone, even someone like Akatosh, or Stendarr or Mara allow us to exist in a world without love? What makes us the ones who get dealt the bad hand Paarthurnax? Why do we have to suffer while we helplessly watch others have happiness beyond even their own dreams?"

"Because it's the way it is Odahviing" Paarthurnax replied sternly, "Believe me, there was a time when I felt the same way. I was young and I once searched for the females myself, just like you are doing now. But I realized that in the end, dragons were not meant to have such luxuries. Our sole purpose was to dominate, and that was something that we could not do with the distraction of the fairer sex."

Odahviing scoffed, "You say that as if it's a bad thing."

"Because it is" Paarthurnax snapped, "If the females were found it would mean nothing but trouble and you know it! It would disgrace Akatosh and the Divines! It is against the Way of the Voice."

Odahviing rolled his eyes, "I am not bound to the Way as you are. I can do what I please and I wish to find them and you're going to help me."

Paarthurnax shook his head; "No" he said coldly, "It's a fool's errand. Going after them when they're most likely dead!"

Odahviing had about enough of Paarthurnax, he whipped around to his elder his eyes burning like the fires of the Red Mountain, his teeth as cold and hard as the snow on the Throat of the World. He barked as loudly as he could, for a moment unable to form words, when he composed himself a bit he spoke but with no less ferocity.

"Don't you get it! Before Alduin's betrayal, before everything, I had a life! A life that was cut short with the Dragon Cults and the War. I was respected...but more importantly I was loved by someone who loved me back! Does that mean anything to you? Can you even comprehend it?"

Odahviing took a breath and wiped another tear from his eye

"I don't think you can" Odahviing continued, "I think you lost your humanity when you gave yourself to the humanistic ideals of the Way! It destroyed you. Made you blind and deaf to your own people and what we were saying about our own dreams!"

Paarthurnax laughed at Odahviing's hypocrisy, "Coming from Alduin's right hand man" he retorted, "Really Odahviing and you accuse me of losing my humanity? What about you? Do you still have yours? How many people have you killed in the name of the cursed World Eater? Too many I'd wager."

Odahviing growled, "How dare you? After everything that I've done! After all that we've been through? I've told you things that I've told no one else. I confided in you more than I should have. I see you like a father you dare speak to me as if I were an abomination?"

Paarthurnax said nothing, "This conversation is over. I'll be waiting for your apology."

Odahviing said nothing and watched Paarthurnax flew off towards the Throat of the World, for Odahviing was not going to leave again, he would be the stronger one this time.

Odahviing instantly thought of his backup plan in the event that he failed in finding the females. It was the request that he asked Brelyna and J'Zhargo about, but he knew that only the gods were powerful enough to grant it.

Odahviing shouted to the sky and let out his own Thu'um which brought up his own portal to Aetherius. Stendarr, Kynareth and Mara were sitting on their thrones before him.

"Odahviing" Stendarr said with surprise, "What are you doing?"

"I have a request Father" Odahviing replied, "But you must swear total secrecy. Akatosh must never know."

Kynareth stared at Odahviing with a keen interest, "Why?" she asked, "What kind of request is it?"

"Would we ever deny our son?" Stendarr asked rhetorically

"Yes" Odahviing answered sarcastically, "You've denied me every time I came with a request. When I was but a week old you had the nerve to deny me food. I'm actually surprised that I've coming to you with this frankly, but I don't have any other choice."

Odahviing sighed deeply and continued

"I want you to make me human. Human for a day..."

Stendarr and Kynareth stared at each other and then at their son.

"You can't be serious?" Kynareth asked, "You want to be a human?"

"Not permanently" Odahviing explained, "Just for a day. Just to know what it feels like."

Stendarr shook his head, "its not possible Odahviing. It would be breaking everything, the laws of nature cannot be changed to such a degree."

Mara looked on in silence, studying Odahviing's face, in an instant she knew exactly what Odahviing was doing and what he was searching for. For the benefit of Stendarr and Kynareth, Mara spoke anyway.

"Why do you want to be a human?"

Odahviing hung his head in embarrassment but eventually answered her

"I want to feel. To love and be loved again...I miss them you see, the females, they're all I think about these days."

Mara shook her head, "Not all you think about. You have Samuel and Ghorbash and Scouts and all the others, they love you like any other."

Odahviing nodded, cutting her off at the same time, "Yes, yes" the dragon continued, "But I want to feel the passions of the flesh as well as the heart! Surely that is a just desire? Just to know that a dragon's heart is capable of such things would be more than enough, but in order to truly know, I must either find the females or become human."

Stendarr and Kynareth shook their heads in shame and walked away. Mara remained.

"Mother...Father" Odahviing begged, "Please. Don't go"

Odahviing became distraught, he started to panic, his nostrils were breathing smoke in and out, he was close to breathing fire out of fear and anger, but he did not.

"You were never there!" Odahviing screamed, "You abandoned me when I was but a child and you're abandoning me now! What kind of parents are you? Unworthy ones."

Odahviing then started to cry uncontrollably, it was all he could do to stay where he was and not fly off again if only to move and try and get rid of the pain.

Mara reached out to Odahviing and touched his snout, she then gently kissed his cheek and smiled. This calmed Odahviing down, who looked into the Goddesses' eyes.

"I grant your request." Mara replied, "Starting tomorrow, you will be human for 24 hours. Use it well."

Odahviing would've cried again had it not been for Mara stopping him by filling his heart with laughter instead for she hated to see one of Akatosh's children suffer anymore than necessary.

"T-t-thank you my Lady!" Odahviing said through his laughter, "This blessing shall not be forgotten! Praise be to you always!"

Mara nodded and walked away just as the portal closed.