Disclaimer: I do not own James Potter, Lily Evans and the universe of Harry Potter. Anything and everything you recognise is the property of Joanne Rowling. All rights to her, copyright not intended, no profit is being made from this. I only own the plot and that is all.
Rating: T.
Word Count:7469.
Summary: Lately James Potter has been all secretive with his three best mates and hasn't spent much time with Lily. She thinks it's because he's trying to break up with her in the nicest way possible. She thinks he might've gotten sick of her and doesn't want her anymore. James has been planning this day for as long as he's known her, so why is Lily frightened?
Warning/s: Minor-coarse language.
Ship/s: Jily – (James Potter/Lily Evans).
Beta: I don't have a beta, sorry. All mistakes you may find are my own and I'm sorry for that.
Author's Note:This a re-write of a one-shot I wrote and I've re-published it as well. Hope that isn't an inconvenience for you. The pairing 'Jily' is a pairing I rather like writing about. It might be my favourite to write, even. I love you all. Enjoy reading. Xo
James' Promise
For the past for weeks James Potter had been ignoring Lily Evans in her opinion, of course. He sat with her at breakfast, lunch and dinner (most of the time) and he's gone to all of their patrols and meetings. He's sat with her in all the classes they have together, which is a few, and he's always smiling at her in the hallways but Lily knew something was wrong. The Marauders have been found huddling together a lot, whispering and every time she tried to strain her ears to hear they would turn and look at her and say, "Will you quit that!"
Of course, those words were usually only said in looks rather than out loud. James would be girlfriendless if he'd said it out loud, Lily assures you. James is usually found grinning to Sirius about something, an inside joke, one Lily wasn't allowed in on. She hated when they did that. She hated inside jokes between the Marauders that she was forbidden to hear. She hated a lot of things they did recently. Everything was beginning to get on her nerves. She was at her last whim with her boyfriend and his friends.
If he didn't start paying more attention to her, their relationship was sure to not survive the year. Lily promises that. This wasn't like James, Lily tries to remind herself when he leaves her in the middle of the hallway without so much as a goodbye.
At the start of their relationship, everything was perfect, she muses to herself when she feels abandoned by her boyfriend. She likes to replay their memories inside her mind, her more recent ones, just to reassure herself that James wants her and he isn't going to drop her like a hat at the last minute. The trust she once had in him is wearing thin and he doesn't even know it. She feels as if he thinks that he can get away with anything, even pretending she doesn't exist when she tries to call him over.
Perhaps she's given him too much free will, too much trust and now he's seeing how far she'll let him go.
Lily can't help but remember the way his eyes lit up when she finally say yes to him. The one word that was like magic to James' ears, it seems.
…
"Oi, Evans," the voice caught everybody's attention even Lily's. The voice that belonged to the most annoying boy on the planet. However, he's gotten slightly better, if she were to think about it. Still she groaned and rolled her eyes. Her first thought, as always, was 'Here we go again'. She can't help but think that with a bitter tone. He just won't give her a break and it's killing her.
She furrows her eyebrows when she realises that he's alone and he looks sort-of nervous. This wasn't like normal and it frightened Lily a little bit. Alice Prewitt was beside her giggling away like this was all normal and it was like she was waiting for this to happen. Lily scowled at the sound of her best friend giggling at the situation at hand. It was serious, Lily scowls. Sirius Black wasn't beside James Potter and it made Lily want to run away and never see the light of day again.
The boy has been missing all day and nobody could find him.
He was probably in some broom closet snogging a random girl, Lily muses to herself.
Alice leans close to Lily's ear, "Look," she giggled quietly "There's the price you were asking for," she whispered. Lily rolled her eyes, "Please, he's hardly a…He's not exactly what you'd call a prince and I sure as hell didn't ask for him, quit the opposite, actually," Lily whispered back to her best friend. Alice simply continued to giggle away, "Whatever you say, and I'm just saying he's right there. You better take him before it's too late."
Alice then proceeded to shut her book and stand up. She excused herself politely before she left. Lily was forced to acknowledge the one guy who had never understood the meaning of 'no' in his entire life.
"Evans," he says breathlessly and Lily couldn't help but notice that he's out of breath and he's finally reached his intended destination; in front of the poor redhead. He was breathless and utterly gorgeous. The sweat dripped down the sides of his face, making him look hot. Lily grimaced, did she just call Potter hot? She must be hallucinating because boy, he's not even attractive, she lies to herself.
He stands there, silently as he watched her. His eyes trail every one of her movements and it makes a chill of pleasure run through her. She ignores it though and simply asks him, "Yes?"
He doesn't reply to her and that's when she finally takes in the rest of his facial expression. His cheeks are flushed. Could it have to do with the run he'd just taken? He's stopped breathing as heavily as before but he's still red.
Could James Potter actually be, dear she say it, blushing?
"Lily, erm," he starts and pulls a hand through his hair. He messes with it awkwardly because he needs to do something with his hands before he drives himself crazy. He's moving from side-to-side and he can't help but swallow every five seconds.
By now, the whole school seems to be listening. Lily had been perfectly happy sitting in the grass as far away from the noise as possible so why did Potter have to come ruin it like he ruins everything?
"W-Will you, uh," James swallows and licks his chapped lips for what seemed like the thousand time. Lily takes a look around shyly as she realises that every single eye is on them two and the situation at hand. Girls appear to be doing multiple things; some are giggling, some smiling, others are glaring and the few of them are whispering to each other.
"Look, it's Potter. Watch him make a fool of himself again."
It didn't appear to be a normal day in the main yard at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Head Boy appears to have gone silent and was getting redder buy the minute.
It definitely wasn't a normal day, Lily tells herself.
"Yes," Lily demanded. She was becoming increasingly impatient especially with all eyes on them. Potter just needed to get on with it, Lily thinks. He's so freaking slow.
"Get to the point," she spits.
"Well," he just trails off again, rubbing the back of his neck, awkwardly.
"Yes?"
"Lily, will you," he pauses once more and Lily gestures for him to finish his sentence. He's never been this slow and he's never pauses this much before.
"Lily – Um, Evans – Lily? Will you, uh, could you, maybe…would you…want to...," he stopped but then his eyes flashed with determination and their eyes locked. "Will you go on a d-date with m-m-me?"
Finally he spat out the words that felt like they would get lodged in his throat for all of eternity. He made a complete and utter fool of himself but he didn't care. He only cared about Lily and what she would say to him. Most likely she'd turn him down again and the light in his eyes dimmed greatly.
Lily simply stared at him, blinking owlishly up at him. Was he serious? He's never asked Lily in that way before. He's always been ever-so confident and even rather arrogant about it. But he wasn't being confident right now. He looks incredibly shy and nervous. His face was almost permanently a crimson-red colour.
It was cute, Lily decided.
If she really thought about it and she meant for real.
What was there to honestly lose?
He was cute and he's died down since the year before; he's more mature, she could see it. He's been Head Boy for the last three months and he hasn't stepped a toe out of lie, yet.
Why the hell not?
Lily smiles and says one word that makes James Potter's heart stop.
"Sure."
Half the population of Hogwarts was staring in utter awe. A handful of girls were glaring but the rest were giggling and pointing.
It was Lily's turn to go scarlet-red.
"E-E-xc-use me," James said his eyes as wide as a galleon. Lily tried not to giggle but it was hard. She looked at him with a small smile, "That's a yes, James."
His eyes seemed to get wider and his blush deepened and then he began to smile like an utter idiot.
Her idiot, Lily smiles to herself.
"Really?"
He's finally lost the stutter and Lily finally lets out her giggle because that's a damn good sign. "Thank you, Lily," James said, "Maybe the Three Broom Sticks on Saturday?"
"Eleven," Lily pitches in to help the poor guy out. He nods in return with a smile that melts Lily's heart for the first time. He looked happier than he's ever looks. He turned around to leave and the smile doesn't leave his face.
It was like everything finally made sense the moment Lily agreed to date the idiot.
…
After that, if Lily were to be honest with herself, the smile never strayed from his face. He tried to do every little thing with and for Lily. He was really protective over her and even sometimes got jealous but it wasn't a lot of times or maybe that was a lie. Lily just liked to think he trusted her and in return, she began to trust him with her life.
Then the last few weeks made her worry and trust him less as every day passes. He's been incredibly distant and he's away almost all the day. He's always found whispering with Remus or Sirius, or both, or he's actually nowhere to be found. Lily could ask around but nobody ever knew where her boyfriend was. People were beginning to think their relationship was fading because Lily couldn't find the poor guy. They put things in the redheads head.
They whispered things in the hallways and even made a comment or two to the girl's face.
"Maybe she's just not good enough for him anymore."
"He's probably cheating on her."
"He's finally got her now he probably doesn't need her anymore."
"It was probably all fake, anyway."
The words pierced her heart and kept her up at night. She couldn't sleep and sometimes she couldn't eat. Were what they saying true? Did he not want her anymore? Was she simply not good enough for him? Now that he's finally gotten her, does this mean there isn't a need for her anymore? Does he even still want the poor girl?
She was probably nothing to him, Lily frowns as she tells herself this. She was probably nothing to him all along. He had no need for her anymore. She was a prize to be won and he had won her and now he's over her. Except Lily can't afford to think like that because what about all the memories they shared, all the times he's spent chasing after her and that one day where he'd brought her a birthday gift.
A gift that warmed her hearty, one she loved so very much. The very one he'd even signed at the bottom where it made Lily giggle every time she remembered it.
…
Lily groaned, "Why are you so freaking jumpy today, James?"
Lily was half-asleep and all her words were slurring due to sleep. She was seated at the usual spot on the Gryffindor Table. She was looking at a completely awake and nuts James Potter. He grinned like a lunatic at her and it frightened her. She swallowed, "What is it," she answered, groggily but he didn't even spare her an answer. "What day is it today," he asked, excitedly. Lily simply raised her eyebrows at him, as if she were saying, 'What the bloody hell are you talking about?'
James rolled his perfectly-shaped eyes right back at her. She couldn't help but admire the beauty in his hazel eyes, not that she'd ever tell him that.
"Don't roll your eyes at me," she snapped, "Answer the freaking question, James," she scolded. She was tired and sick of him grinning like he was mad. He should be put in Azkaban with all those crazy people. He resembled one, Lily mused, quietly to herself because if she told him, he'd probably kill her.
James looks back at her with a pout as if she had forgotten they were dating or something. Then as if a lightbolb went off inside of his head, he realises she's probably still half-asleep and he decides to tell her instead.
"It's your birthday, love," he chirps, back to being happy because even her bad memory couldn't put a damper on his mood right now. Lily's eyes begin to water and she didn't even want to stop it. "Why are you crying," James panicks, "Was the gift to much," his eyes moved from side to side, "Am I a horrible boyfriend?"
Lily shakes her head, "No! It's just that, I can't believe you remembered or that you even knew," she replied. James nearly laughed, "Lily-pad, I've always known." Lily smiled in return and threw her arms around him, lazily.
The action simply makes him smile more and he didn't even care if Lily had just accidently poked him in the eye. Her eyes widen as she realises she kind of just did. "Are you okay," she frowned. James nods with a lopsided smile, "I'll be fine, love," he replies. He pushes the gift into her hands, "Open it," he encourages.
The box was regular-sized and it was light purple with a dark purple ribbon on it. Lily analysed it before looking up at James. "Why'd you but me something," she shakes her head, "I'm not even worth it."
"Are you kidding me? Lily, you're more than worth it. You deserve the world and I intend to give you that," he smiles warmly but Lily rolls her eyes in return with a playful smile on her lips. "Alright, whatever you say, Potter."
James' face instantly falls as if he's genuinely hurt. Perhaps it was the sarcasm in Lily's voice or it could've been the use of his last name. Perhaps it was simple both that hurt him.
Lily bits her bottom lip as she realises she's probably hurt his feelings. She sends him a small smile to try and make up for it. "Fine," she decides, "I'll take the card first." She reaches her small, petite hand out for the card as it dangles in his left hand. James' face adopts a lazy smile, "Yes, my dear, you certainly can," he replies in a dreamy voice. He hands her the card and instantly she opens it because his face has become rather shy and it's not something she's quite used to yet.
Lily read it with a smile before her face suddenly falls.
"What is it," he instantly panics, "Is it too much?"
James is the kind of guy who panics when he thinks he's done something wrong or something that was over the top. He's an ever-pleaser and he only wants to make Lily happy. If she wasn't happy, he feels as if he failed her. Lily doesn't like it when he feels like that. She shakes her head to erase his worries. "It's not," she smiles and shows him the card.
At the bottom, in James' messy scrawl it says; 'I love you with all of my heart, Lily' and at the bottom he had messily signed it 'James'. Lily looks back up at him and he shrugs before he slowly turns crimson-red. "Um yeah, if it's too soon then just forget I even said it," he says so quickly Lily wasn't sure she heard it. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he rubs his neck, awkwardly.
Lily placed her hand on his shoulder to shut him up. James turned his head away from her so she couldn't see how hurt he was. Lily turned it back to her and smiled, "No, it's never too early, James," she replies. "I love you too," and then she placed a lingering kiss on his perfectly-shaped lips.
Yes, I love you too, definitely, Lily ponders to herself.
…
If Lily were being honest with herself that had been the best birthday of her entire life. She had never felt more loved in all of her life. Her family simply sent her a card with the general 'Happy Birthday' on it. Petunia never did anything and Severus never had money to get her anything when they were friends. She never blamed him though, it wasn't his fault.
Her birthday was only a couple of months ago but sometimes it felt like yesterday to her. That one, single, memory is burned into her mind for all eternity and she loved it that way. She never wanted to forget it or lose James. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her, she couldn't bear it if she lost him.
She couldn't lose him. She believed he loved her and that's what's keeping her going. She couldn't afford to think he didn't because it would make her fall apart. All she's ever known would become a lie and she couldn't handle that. She couldn't handle if it had all been a lie because how stupid could she be? How could she listen to him and ignore the warnings from all of her friends if it were to be true?
Alice was always on James' side though, if she really thought about it. She said it would all work out but their other friend, Hestia Jones, didn't and neither did the rest. They had no faith in James and slowly but surely neither did Lily – just the way they had wanted it to be.
They seemed to want her life to fall apart at the seams and they were getting their wish. The memory burned in her mind and she couldn't help but relive it all over again and this time maybe she was listening to them for the first time in a year.
…
Hestia Jones sat across from Lily with a scowl on her beautiful face. "Lily, why do you even trust that jerk," she spat out. Lily groaned in response and simply rolled her eyes at her friend. "I've only been on three dates with him and you are already deciding he's a bad girl," she replied in what she hoped didn't sound bitter. She was getting sick of her friends bad-mouthing James. It was getting utterly ridiculous if she were to be honest.
"Exactly, Lily," Hestia huffed, "Three dates; not enough time to get to know him," she scowled. "I've known him – we all have – since we were eleven, isn't that enough," Lily replied. "No, it is not," spat out Hestia and if by Lily rolling her eyes didn't say 'I'm not listening to you anymore' then her moving away slightly should've but Hestia continued.
"Look at all the things he's done; to you, to Snape."
Lily cringed at the mention of her back-stabbing ex-best friend. It was a low blow and even Hestia knew that but she didn't relent, that's for sure. "For one," snapped Lily, "I don't care about Sev and I don't care about the things James has done. He's a good guy and I really like him," she said. "Can't you just be happy for me? For once in your life?" Lily shouted at Hestia before she could continue tormenting Lily with the memory of her ex-best friend.
"But, Lily," Hestia tried to object. Lily was fuming by now and she couldn't possibly care any less than she did at that moment. "I don't care! I really like him, Hestia! Can't you just be freaking happy for me? Tell me why it's so hard for you to do that," she shouted at her friend.
By this point they were standing up and attracting attention but Lily was passed caring and so was Hestia it seemed. Hestia stumbled back and inhaled deeply as if she was struggling to tell Lily all the bad things James had done and what a bad guy he was. Hestia looked as if she was having trouble reminding Lily of what a bad person Potter was.
"Because," she simply said before she huffed and turned on her heels to leave.
"What? Cat got your tongue," shouted Lily in anger, "Can't handle being told that you aren't right for once because you know what? You are not!" Lily yelled as she began to see red. Hestia stopped and turned a little to look at Lily, "I warned you," she said in a dangerously, low voice. "I warned you," she repeated. "He's a bad guy, Lil. You have been warned. Stay. Away. From. Him," she said.
"You've turned out just like all the rest of them. You're just like all the other girls in this school who would do anything for Potter," she commented. "But do you want to know something? I don't like it; I don't like the new you because what happened to Lily, my – our – Lily?"
Silence filled the common room for several seconds before she said her last sentence that pieced Lily's heart.
"The Lily Evans that hated James Potter."
Lily was sure Hestia wanted to add 'and not the one who loved him' but she didn't. Lily couldn't take it any longer and she crumbled. She ran straight out of the Common Room and she didn't feel like going back any time.
They were supposed to be her friends so why didn't they support her like she thought they would?
...
Lily looked over at James as they stood on the Platform. He was waving her over but she hadn't moved a muscle. She could barely hear the word that were coming out of his mouth. He was beginning to become impatient and Lily knew that. She could tell, it was practically oozing off her boyfriend in waves. Lily doesn't want to come though and he couldn't see that.
"Lily," he asked in hopes of catching her attention and he had succeeded. "The trail will leave without us if you don't pick up your pace!" He yelled at her but it didn't appear as if he was angry with her just a little annoyed that she was taking forever like they had all the time in the world. Lily only rolled her eyes at him and stopped walking. She didn't want to go to him. He'd asked her to go home with him and spend Christmas there. She'd be thrilled at first but now she just felt empty. She felt as if it was wrong.
Did he ask her because his mistress couldn't be caught dead coming or because she didn't want to come? Was Lily merely a second option because if James was really cheating he was about to get a mouthful from his devastated girlfriend. Unless he asked her in hopes of hiding his cheating ways in a better way. Lily didn't understand why it took this moment to solidify her worries. He didn't give her any indication her was cheating but he didn't say he wasn't either. Lily was on the fence about this and she knew it. She was leaning more towards his unfaithfulness though and she couldn't pin-point why.
She rarely questioned it and actually came to a conclusion he probably was. She didn't do this often. Usually she was the girl who trusted far too easily and she never questioned anybody's faithfulness nor did the trust she invest in people waver even in the slightest.
Lily looked around and noticed everybody getting on board the scarlet train or so she had thought at first but Sirius and Remus didn't move an inch. They shared a secret smile and then directed a warm and comforting one at Lily before they locked eyes with James. Lily looked down and inhaled deeply as she began to feel as if she was dying at the very thought of them mouthing; 'tell her the truth, James'.
However, when she looked up they were grinning and gesturing. They looked like Christmas had come a little early and it was like they got everything they had ever wanted. Suddenly everybody stopped and all attention was on a slow and hesitant James Potter.
"Lily," he whispered and Lily's eyes widen when she realised he was in front of her yet he just wasn't in arms reach. He had put space between them and Lily instantly felt a frown appear on her face the more she thought about it. Of course he was breaking up with her and he had asked eveyrody to get on the train so she wasn't as humiliated.
"Lily," he calls her to gain her attention and then her eyes trail down to his hands as they're pulling something small and square out of his pocket. Maybe it was a break-up speech, maybe even an original one.
"Lily, I still remember the day I met you," he started. It was a weird way to start off a break-up speech but, hey, at least it's original, right? "It was a sunny afternoon and stumbled into our compartment," he trailed off in thought. Lily winced as she waited for the whole, 'and then I met the girl I wanted so desperately to hurt'. That sounds about right. He was cheating, wasn't he? Lily knew there were signs but she couldn't believe he was going to confirm them.
That would make Hestia right and Lily didn't want that.
"The way you looked so utterly confident it stumped me. I instant stopped laughing at the silly joke Padfoot had told. It took only one look at you to take my breath away," James spoke with such sincerity that it spooked Lily. "I knew I'd never forget the way you red hair spiralled down your neck to land perfectly on your shoulder," he smiled. "I knew the moment your vibrant emerald-green eyes landed on me and the look you gave me, it was sure to forever be etched into my mind. Your almond-shaped eyes shorn so brightly I couldn't tear my eyes away from you."
"I knew I'd never forget that amazing smile and the way it made my heart speed up. I had never believed in love at first sight because I believed it was ludicrous. I would hear all the muggles go on and on about it but it didn't appeal to me. It was stupid, I thought," James stated. "All those muggle shows were wrong, I believed but then I met an angel that took my breath away," he smiled lazily and Lily hoped that he didn't mean he had another girl but his next words stopped her from freaking out.
"I believe them all because of you."
"You walked with confidence and you talked as if you knew what was going on. You were always so damn logical and you thought of every possibility with depth. You thought of all the consequences because you hated to take risks," James reminded her and Lily couldn't help but smile but then it turned horrified when it let out a secret she hoped would never leave his lips.
"But I told you to let go one day, do something you'd never do in a thousand years and then you went skinny dipping with me," he said and Lily's face flushed. That wasn't something she wanted to go public. She was the head-girl for Merlin's sake! James chuckled, "The way you undressed yourself hesitantly and the look you gave the Black Lake was hilarious," he said. People giggled and Lily flushed some more.
"I remember all those times I asked you out."
Lily's mind skinned over all of them as well and they brought a smile on her face. "First year," he started, "I decided to show off. Do you remember that first flying lesson and how I got on my broom without the permission of Madam Hooch? I flew as high as I could go and then I fell and broke my arm," he told Lily the story once more and Lily couldn't help but laugh along with him because everybody was laughing with him about his stupidity.
"Second Year," he winked, "I showed you how I could perform some Third Year charm. Oh, how badly that had come back to bit my on the back. It was before I found out that looking cool didn't really appear that way. You either laughed, grumbled or muttered under your breath how much of an idiot I was, and I don't blame you," he smiled sheepishly. Lily nodded in remembrance and laughed alongside her boyfriend. Her worries seemed to dwindle away and it all seemed like the world was making sense again.
"Ah, Third Year," he began with an amused smile, "I found that if I somehow became the coolest kid at Hogwarts, it'd do me some good. I began to actually start asking you out and I'm sorry that it was only to mess with you and I guess you knew that already," he said and Lily instantly frowned. She hoped this wasn't the part he admitted that he still felt the same way. The worries began to seep in once more but she tried to block them out because that's all she could do to stop herself from falling apart.
"I must have been really dense, I'm tell you," James began to laugh and he couldn't catch his breath. Lily's heart stopped at the beauty of the sound that was coming out of his mouth. The sound made the butterflies in her stomach flutter around like crazy and she didn't ever want to forget that feeling.
"I also remember that Love Potion I put in your pumpkin juice. I don't know what actually happened, there were supposed to always work but I guess I knew deep down that it wasn't going to be that easy," James said, "Hell, everybody knew," he added as an afterthought.
"Then Fourth Year rolled around and not much changed. I was still utterly obsessed with getting your attention and the need for that only grew with each passing day. I tried to show you I was different and I guess the news that you liked Snape more than me hurt like a bullet to the chest," he said and he rubbed his chest in thought as his face grimaced. Lily winced at the mention of her ex-best friend but she tried not to show it. James frowned, "I remember being an utter jerk to him before that year but that year had got to be one of the worst," he added.
"I began to bully him so badly that I forget the consequences of this. I didn't bring me closer to you nor did it show you how bad he was. I just wasn't getting my point across," James said as he mindlessly kicked his foot across the pavement. The train let out a hoot but it was only a reminder and James ignored it.
"I was only pushing myself further away from you," he whispered, deep in thought causing Lily to frown some more. "I remember bullying him before that but that year has got to be one of the worst things I have ever done to him. I don't know if he told you…," James trailed off, feeling panic rise in his chest. His chest began constricting and he felt it hard to breath. He barely managed to say, "Let's just say it was one nasty prank I regret. We will never forget it."
James swallowed, "It was Fifth Year that I realised something."
Lily rolled her eyes, "Are you seriously going through all the years?"
"Yes, don't interrupt, love," he scolded and Lily only rolled her eyes some more. Lily nodded and shrugged at his scolding but James chose not to notice and continued just like he had been before. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted," he playfully glared at Lily who only giggled back. "It was Fifth Year I understood a little better. My best friend had tried to hide something majot from me and I understand now. It was his father; everything, it had all been because of that and no, I'm not talking about Sirius."
James grinned boyishly, "But then again, Sirius is just a royal pain in the ass," James said and Sirius began complaining. James took no notice of his best friend, "We decided to team up and fix some things but the solution we came up with was instantly shut down. Yet we still did it in secrecy," James stated with a determined look on his face. Remus wore a disappointing look and Sirius nodded with a smile even if he was still annoyed.
Lily didn't know what James was talking about but she let him continue. "Okay, so that was bad on our part and I'm sorry for that but we love 'im and this is the only way we wanted to do it. It was the only way."
Remus shook his head disapprovingly and muttered under his breath.
"And then, I realised I had to be more…romantic. Romance gets the gets, right? Remus said something like that. He said I was loyal," James said, nodding to himself. "And that it was something girls wanted in a guy and I believed him because what could go wrong?"
Lily chose not to comment on all the things that could go wrong.
"I tried to be more like those guys in muggle movies, you know?"
Lily nodded with a slight smile, "and that attempt was hilarious even if I knew it was wrong. Sirius said it would work, though so I believed him," James mumbled and Sirius shrugged as he wiggled his eyebrows. "Okay, so, kidnapping you was wrong but the way you squirmed with hilarious," James paused to laugh. Lily rolled her eyes at his immaturity but it was rare that he was like this so she secretly treasured it.
"Sixth Year was just as funny, do you remember that poem I wrote?" James licked his lips, "I think it went like, 'If I stop pranking Snape, can we snog tonight?' I remember the poem as if I wrote it merely moments ago. You never seemed to like my attempts but that time, you shrugged and said in a bored tone, 'At least it rhymes.'"
Lily didn't comment because she'd probably murder him. The poem was pretty damn insensitive but then again, did it really matter much?
"You don't know how much that had cut me, do you? I was even more determined now. You ask the boys, what I can't have, I will always want more," James said and his two best friends, as expected, backed him right up. "But if I'm dead-set on something, I have to have it or nothing else will ever be enough," he added.
A few sniggers were heard but it didn't faze James at all.
"And then this year, I really stepped up to the bar; yet it seemed as if it wasn't enough. I looked at you and I only spoke when spoken to. I wanted to be civil and try a 'normal' approach. The friendly one," James said. "I don't know," he mumbled, "'The Muggle Way'; talk to you like a normal person, get to know you, make you smile and virtually anything that could guarantee me a spot as one of your friends."
Lily smiled and blushed a bit but James simply continued and tried to ignore how beautiful his girlfriend looked. If he didn't, he'd just get distracted and he knew he'd never finish what he had rehearsed for the last few weeks.
"I guess I was equally shocked and happy when I had made Head Boy. It was just another reason to speak with you and now that I think about it, it was probably what got me somewhere. I was so utterly happy when I made you smile for the first time."
Lily furrowed her eyebrows because how could he remember that when Lily couldn't?
"It was just some silly joke," murdered James with a content smile on his face. "You were sitting cross-legged on the grass right beside the Black Lake and you were war to trust me. You were probably wondering if I were to be a good head boy or not. You were probably wondering if I was playing around or if I were to make it all a big joke. You probably thought I didn't respect it but I did."
How could he remember that far back? It seemed like a lifetime ago to Lily.
"You were holding your Potions book and I had simply smiled at you. It could've been by the light from the sun that reflected in your hair that made it so beautiful or even the way you green eyes shined. It could've also been because you looked so at peace when you read that it was too much of a perfect moment to go to waste," he whispered, locking eyes with Lily. "I don't really know why I did it but I let the words fall out of my mouth without thinking of them and you smiled amusedly at it and it made my heart warm."
A smile slipped back on James' face, "and that's when I knew what perfection was. It wasn't your beautiful smile or your gorgeous-coloured eyes, it was simply you. My heart sped up every time you smiled and I knew I loved you more by every passing second. There was no going back, Lils."
Lily thinks it was her heart that speed up by his smile and the words he was saying. She felt like she was living on cloud nine and she never wanted to leave. He was so utterly breathtaking that she felt as if she could live in this moment for forever.
"Here I stand telling you all the many things I did to even get you here but it wasn't until Fifth Year I realised something; something so big there was no going back," he started, "I realised my love for you and how it stood out with everything I did. The way I stirred every conversation about you," he finished.
Love is sometimes indescribable and sometimes it isn't. Love is something you feel in your bones and know in your heart. It isn't something you can explain to somebody if they asked. It's something only you know. It's something that could make or break you. Love has the power to potentially ruin you if you let it. Love is about taking risks and letting it go the way it wants to. It can't be rushed or forced.
It's beautiful and special in so many ways. There is no time-limit to how long it takes you to fall in love and there is no expiry date. It's not something you feel for a little bit and then forget, it's something that'll always be within you. You can learn to move on but the memory resides inside of you forever. It's the type of feeling that can't be erased once you've felt it. Love is amazing in so many ways. It's something that warms your heart and gives it a reason to continue to beat. It sometimes makes your heart skip a few beats and even stop completely.
Love is not just any feeling that disappears. It's feeling that haunts you at the back of your memory when it's gone wrong but if it's gone right, it's always there. You feel light and happy and nothing could ever dampen your mood. Love is a beautiful thing if used correctly.
It's unmistakable.
If a girl is in love, it's easy to tell by the way she's smiling and if it's a boy, it's in his eyes. It's the way people look at each other that makes it all worthwhile. Love is overwhelming and overflowing. It's not something that should be hidden but expressed in words of affection and actions that scream, 'I'm in love with you!'
Love is not a hard feeling to understand. Love is equal. Love knows no barriers. Love is special.
Why did Lily love James?
That's simple.
It wasn't the way his hair looked sexy when it was messy and it wasn't the way his eyes shone when he was doing something he shouldn't. It certainly wasn't the way his tie hand loosely across his chest or the way his shirt was hanging out of his pants. It wasn't how his glasses were always crooked in the morning and it wasn't the way his face scrunched up in the adorable look when he was confused.
And it wasn't because he was brave or determined or because he was intelligent. It wasn't because he told silly jokes that brought a smile to Lily's face. It wasn't because he knew everything there was to know about Transfigurations. It wasn't because he always came up with rather intelligent pranks to pull on the teachers and it wasn't because he got O's on most of his O. .
And maybe it wasn't because he was impeccably loyal to his friends and how he'd die for them if the challenge arose. He always put them first. He'd do anything for the people he loved and he always tried to be the best for everybody. He wanted to be strong for everybody. It wasn't because he was utterly gorgeous in the moonlight or because he's ever-so positive.
And it certainly wasn't because he'd thought of this massive speech to tell Lily how he feels about her. It wasn't because he thought of so many ways to catch her attention. It wasn't because he's utterly faithful (even though she's starting to realise she should've never doubted him to begin with) and it's not because she trusts him with her life.
The thought of it being because conversation between them always flowed was incorrect as well. It's not because they can joke and yell at each other but still love each other.
It's simply him, Lily loves James because he's just himself around her and she couldn't love that more even if she tried.
"Lily," James chuckled. Lily blinked and looked over towards him. He blushed, "I just want to say that Fifth Year was a horrible year for us. It wasn't the school work, or you that worried me the most. It was keeping a massive secret that made me want to scratch out my eyeballs. I did everything I could possibly do for a friend but it didn't matter because you never asked once what I do when I'm not attached to you," smiled James in an uneasy way. That's what Lily was talking about. He does all these things for his friends and he never expects anything in return and Lily loves that about him.
"Thank you for not being nosy," he chuckled, "Just believe me when I say that I love you and that you're all that I asked for. I know that I am not the prince you asked for – and yes, Alice told me – but I'll sure protect you like one," promised James as his hazel eyes glinted with determination and Lily felt as if she was falling in love with him all over again.
"So I promise you this," he began and Lily felt her eyes water from the sincerity that burned in his eyes. "I'll protect you in this upcoming war, and I won't stop protecting you until I literally cannot. I'll do anything for you, I know that I have stuffed up in the past but I'll be there for you when you need me, just call for me and I'll be right here for you."
Lily felt ready to jump into his arms and sob and tell him she loved him over and over. James just didn't seem like he was finished yet so she waited for him to say the last few words he wanted to.
"I promise to be that prince you never had," he smiled nervously and Lily felt her heart ache for all the love she held for this idiot; Her Idiot. "Here I am, screwed up and silly, but completely and utterly devoted to you. I've only got one question to ask," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. With one last ruffle of his messy, jet-black, hair he said his final words – or rather; his final question.
"Will you marry me, Lily Evans?"
