A/N: I'm back with the last chapter! Firstly I am SO so, sorry about the ridiculous delay with this chapter. I hate it when authors can't stick to their update schedule so I'm really disappointed with myself that it took this long. But life and school etc etc. But anyway, it's here now, enjoy! I'll continue this note at the bottom.

CHAPTER 16: BREAK AWAY

"…the jury determined that 30% of Liz's damages were attributable to the negligence of Apex and that 70% of her damages were attributable to the negligence of Doctor. Was the court correct in granting Doctor's motion to strike Liz's demand for punitive damages?"

I stare at Peeta blankly the words becoming jumbled in my head. What does that even mean!

"Fuck, I can't do this." I mutter, hanging my head in my hands.

"Come on," Peeta urges, "just think about it." He flips through the pages of the mock Bar exam until he reaches the answers at the back.

I take a stab at it for Peeta's sake more than mine. "The court was correct because punitive damages are not recoverable absent an allegation of intentional conduct." I don't even know where I remember that from but it seems about right.

He quickly scans the answer and I see his face twist. My spirits drop even further. If that's possible. "Not quite-"

I throw my hands in the air, my pen flying across the room. "I'm going to fail."

"Katniss-"

"You know what?" I begin to rant, "It doesn't even matter. Even if I manage to pass this I'll never be hired again anyway-"

"Hey!" He says forcefully, locking his eyes with mine. "Stop that. First of all you can do this, you've dealt with most of these exam questions in real life. You just need to put your head in it. And second no one knows about what happened at the firm and they are keeping it that way so when you pass of course you'll get hired. So stop it, focus, and keep working, okay?"

I settle a glare on him but I don't argue any further. What he doesn't know is that people do know what happened. People know about the case, they know I work there, they know I'm dating Peeta. I've been speculating for a while that this hasn't exactly been kept under wraps. What he also doesn't know is that I've barely studied, that I put such an emphasis on the case that I neglected schoolwork, content that I was gaining a job that is now unavailable. But I don't tell him any of that. I don't want to make him madder.

"Okay, fine what's the next one?"

He gives me a crooked smile and reads out the next scenario. "Henry and Wilma were married over 20 years…"

We continue like that for a few more hours before my phone interrupts us, chirping loudly beside me on the coffee table. Peeta sets down the booklet as I unlock my phone.

"It's Prim." I say. I read over the text.

"Everything alright?" He asks with a slight frown.

I sigh dejectedly. "Mom's not doing very well. Well that's what I can gather from Prim anyway. It's not like she's being very clear at the moment." Actually for weeks Prim had been pretty infuriating. She knew I had exams coming up and I knew she was trying to not stress me out. But her vague answers were beginning to really bother me.

"Still not talking to Haymitch?"

"No."

It was stupid actually, this freeze out between Haymitch and me. I was being cowardly. I didn't want to face the guilt Haymitch made me feel when I talked with him. I let him down when I lost the job. My last conversation with him immediately comes to mind.

"Well done sweetheart, you've successfully ruined your career." Haymitch's sarcastic, dry tone fills my ear from the phone receiver.

I really have nothing to say to him. I know what I did. 'I know."

His cynical laugh takes over the phone. "Well I hope it was worth it."

"I don't need to be reprimanded Haymitch." I snap.

"You need some perspective girl. When are you going to stop meddling with everyone else and start thinking about yourself?"

I frown, confused. "I was thinking about myself."

He laughs again. It bothers me. "And that's why you ruined a perfectly good career opportunity? They would've hired you full time once you graduated, I hope you know that. They liked you."

I close my eyes. I will not cry with Haymitch on the phone. "Why did you even call me Haymitch?"

"I just wanted to hear your thoughts."

I snort. Yeah, right. "Well now you've confirmed that I've fucked up big time. Is that all?"

There's an uncannily long pause on the other end. "Yeah that's all sweetheart. Just think about what I said."

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice brings me back to reality. He's looking at me carefully.

I shake my head slightly, clearing my thoughts. I didn't want to think about what Haymitch was trying to tell me. "Sorry, what?"

"Do you want something to eat?" He has a slightly concerned look in his eyes. "I think you've studied enough."

I nod vaguely and rise to my feet. "When are you going to study?" I wonder as we enter the kitchen. I fix my gaze directly on Peeta's blue eyes. He has business exams to get ready for.

He shrugs. "I'm sort of set. I've been getting hours in when you're at class."

Annie's sitting at the island counter along with Finnick. They're sharing some sort of concoction that I think may be nachos. They look up when we enter.

"Hey! How's the study?" Annie asks eagerly, licking her fingers. She'd never sat the Bar being a paralegal but she'd heard enough stories from working at the firm.

I shrug my shoulders with a wry smile. I grasp a pack of two minute noodles. "I'm resigned to failing so it's alright."

"Katniss!" Peeta's voice is hard and immediate.

I chuckle a little and pull out a pot.

"You won't fail." Annie tells me gently.

"That's what I keep telling her." Peeta complains.

"Okay, fine!" I sigh. "I won't fail. Happy?"

Peeta purses his lips but doesn't smile. I shoot him one anyway, only a little contrite, trying to lighten his mood a little. He fights it but his lips turn slightly before Finnick grabs his attention. They don't actually speak and Finnick makes very little movement but Peeta follows him onto the back porch. I swear those two have their own language.

Annie comes up behind me where I am stirring the noodles in the pot. Unlike most of my other cooking I'd perfected the art of two minute noodles long ago.

"You should stop worrying." She tells me. I don't look up from the noodles.

"I can't." I mutter, feeling disappointment wash over me again. "How's the case going? Peeta doesn't really talk about it." It had been running for a full 6 weeks now though he hadn't testified yet.

"It's…it's going." She says uncertainly. I give her a sharp look. "I think we have the advantage but you know these things. They can always go either way. The other side picked their jury well but I think we have substantial evidence."

"And my evidence isn't being discredited?" I wonder.

"No."

"Well I suppose that's something."

"I got put on a new one too. Since there's nothing left for me to do anymore on Peeta's case." She tells me with a small smile. I look up then curiously.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Petty theft." She laughs. "It's a far cry from this past year's work. It almost seems too easy."

I laugh along with her. Pouring the noodles into a bowl. "I miss it. Working with you."

She hands me a fork from the drawer. "I know. Me too." We stare at each other for a long moment. Then suddenly she's upbeat, clasping her hands in front of her with a loud 'clap!'. "But you know what? There a bigger and better things waiting for you out there. I know it. You're good at your job. You just have to get past this blunder."

I want to smile but something else is nagging at me. Something I nearly forgot I did until Haymitch reminded me. "But this wasn't even the first time Annie. There was that time with Johanna, as well. We flat out faked evidence and broke into a house. That was just plain illegal. I'm not cut out for this I'm like a fucking criminal."

"You're not." She says emphatically. "And before you even argue with me, yeah you've made some pretty shitty decisions. But you're hearts always in the right place Katniss. You do all this for the people you love. That means something."

I stare at her uncertainly and I know she can feel my apprehension.

"Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"When you work again, follow the fucking rules Kat."

I bark out a laugh and nearly roll my eyes. "Yeah sure thing, Ann."

The boys come barreling back into the house, pushing each other playfully and throwing punches. Annie and I roll our eyes together.

"What are you two so excited about?" Annie narrows her eyes suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing." Finnick waves her away, supplementing her with a kiss.

Peeta looks down at the bowl I'm holding. "Two minute noodles? Really Katniss?"

"They're good!" I try to protest but my mouth is full of noodle.

He shakes his head teasingly at me. "I don't know how you stay the way you are with the amount of junk food you eat."

I give him a sly smile and a wink. "Good genes, Mellark."

He leans in to me but is interrupted with Finn's exclamation from behind us.

"We're taking a road trip!"

I sigh and turn to face him. "What on earth are you talking about Finn?" I ask, perplexed. This was random even for Finnick.

"A road trip. After we graduate. Come on, we could all use the getaway."

"Is that what you were talking about out there?"

He shrugs. "Some."

Some?

"What do you think?" Peeta squeezes my hip, sending a flash of warmth down my body.

Annie doesn't look as nearly surprised as she should so I assume she already knows. Finnick couldn't keep a secret from her to save his life. I look at Finn's eager face that has the enthusiasm of a five year old. A getaway. Well that's just what I want, right?

"Sounds alright, actually." I cave.

"You bet your ass it sounds alright! It's fucking brilliant!" And that would be Johanna who saunters through the kitchen hand in hand with Thresh. "So we're all in then? Even my hot-headed crazy bitch?" She slings her free arm around my shoulder effectively stealing me from Peeta.

"Jesus Jo." I reprimand her lightly but it's marred by my snickering. "Yeah we're all in."

Later that day, and after Johanna and Finn have gotten all of their excitement out, we assemble in the lounge. Naturally my head is deep in my textbook despite some protests from the others. Jo and Finn play a game of chess on the floor and every now and then they lazily quiz each other from their booklets of notes in a vain attempt to study. Thresh and Annie sit on the couch across from me and Peeta, watching the T.V.

The words I read struggle to sink in but I plow ahead. Peeta's hands work the knots from my neck. We lie lengthways on the couch, my body situated between his legs and I can't think of a more comfortable place right now. I'm enjoying the moment until my phone rings loudly, breaking the peace, and I recognize Prim's ringtone blaring from the device. I heave a deep sigh but don't move right away.

"Just leave it Katniss." Peeta mutters, tightening his hold to try and still me again.

"I can't it's Prim."

He sighs as I clamber off the couch unceremoniously and crawl my way to the coffee table.

"Prim?"

"Hey Katniss! How are you?"

"Alright. What did you need?"

There's a pause for only a beat but I don't miss it. "I just wanted to see how you were."

I'm about to respond before I hear Haymitch shout in the background. "Tell her to stop being so immature and call her family!"

"What's going on?" I ask as I step outside, away from the wary glances of the others.

"Shut up Haymitch!" Prim hisses, and then I hear a door slam. "Sorry about that."

"Prim, will you stop sidestepping the question! What is going on over there?" I feel like I'm at my wits end with my little sister. Something is off. It had been for a while but she is determined to play it off. To not have me worry.

I hear her sigh heavily and I pace the backyard again. "There was a little setback-"

"What kind of setback?"

"Look mom's just had a bad couple of weeks. She'll get out of it. She always does."

"She's usually at a hospital!" I snap back. "What happened?"

"Katniss stop worrying. Mom will be fine."

I don't think she understands that I can't just "stop worrying". When I am miles away and I barely have control of my own family. "What happened?" I repeat.

I hear her let out a breath. "She just had a bit of an episode. We changed up her meds, it's under control."

"Then why is Haymitch so angry?"

"He's just being Haymitch. I think he's still upset about you getting fired." Well that isn't surprising. "Now how are you Katniss?" She asks pointedly.

"I'm fine Prim don't worry about me."

"But I do worry about you."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "Why?"

"Because you never take time to look after yourself! A whole lot has happened in the last few weeks as well." She says in a very matter of fact manner.

I hate how everyone needs to reinforce that fact to me even though I am already well aware. "It's nothing I can't handle Prim. I'm fine." She knows it's a lie but I'm not sure whether I do. We chat a little longer and say our goodbyes then the line clicks dead and I stop my pacing.

"Katniss?" A voice calls from the porch.

I count to five slowly in my head, attempting calm. Can I not be left alone for one minute? I turn around to Peeta, looking gorgeous as always but I don't quite take it in. Something has changed in the past few weeks between me and Peeta. It isn't bad necessarily…just different. Like we aren't quite sure of the other anymore or something.

"You okay? You've been out here for a while."

"I just said goodbye to Prim." I say shortly and I immediately regret it.

He steps down the porch stairs and walks towards me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sigh. He can still read me like a book.

I stare at him trying to will away the million thoughts that are buzzing around my head. The million thoughts that are telling me I can't drag myself out of the mess I've made. "No."

He looks at me more carefully then. I blink rapidly, ridding the tears that are suddenly taking a choke hold on my throat. What is wrong with me?

"Hey," he says softly, "come here."

His azure eyes pull me in and I feel like I could drown in the depths of them. He steps closer and pulls me into a tight hug, pressing his lips to my hair.

Peeta had always been good at sensing things and that's exactly what he does now. He realizes that words won't help me right now. Instead he wraps his hand around the nape of my neck and pull my lips to his.

This, this is what I need. Something to take my mind off, to forget. His lips meld with mine and his tongue enters my mouth, tangling with mine. I press into him harder, closing any space that is held between us. He grunts, a low sound, and I can steadily feel his arousal increase. In no time at all he has my hand and is practically dragging me up the stairs towards his bedroom. He shuts the door, locks it and walks us back until my knees give out against the edge of the bed. In an instant his body is covering mine and he kisses his way down my jaw, to my neck, where he nips the soft skin. I groan, loudly, and I can feel the chuckle vibrate through his body. His lips reach lower and lower until they encounter the fabric of my shirt. His fingers deftly peel the item of clothing off of me and move to my back to unclasp my bra. The fabric falls free, exposing my skin. He wastes no time in taking a nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue over it, eliciting a moan from me. My core begins to throb and I roll my hips into his, seeking friction. It doesn't take long and soon both our pants are being dropped to the floor, the underwear quickly following. He looks into my eyes, searching for what I don't know, before he slowly enters me, hissing slightly. I moan as he sets the pace, picking up speed. It doesn't take long to reach my climax and he tumbles over the edge quickly after me. We collapse against each other, breathing hard, sweat slicking our skin. Silence envelopes us for a few minutes and I sigh contently into his chest savoring the moment before I have to crawl back into reality and face everything once again.

000

The conclusion of our final law exam is filled with a collective cheer as we all exit the examination building. Even though we all still had to sit the Bar in a month's time, this day marks a small feat for all of us. Cato slings an arm around my shoulder, beaming with delight.

"We did it Kat!" He presses a kiss to my cheek which catches me by surprise.

"We did."

"You coming out for drinks?" He asks eagerly.

I hesitate. Our class does this every year but of course this year will be bigger. I'm wary I'm not really in the 'party' mood but I also just want to let loose as well. Being as wound up as I have been.

"Of course." I finally answer imagining the memory less that will come with the alcohol.

"There you go! Come on, let's get some alcohol in us."

He tows me along with the other partiers in our class none of which include my usual crowd. Of course I know most of them but we don't really run in the same circles outside of class. That doesn't seem to matter though once we reach Bar 8, one of the frequented college bars a few blocks from the Strip.

The music is loud, reverberating against the walls and I can barely hear Cato next to me. But I like it. I really do tonight. In two hours I'm sufficiently drunk and up and dancing with my classmates. Even though we still have the Bar exam to sit we are one step closer to the end. We're all singing along to I Love It at the top of our lungs. I don't think about Peeta, I don't think about the firm, I don't think about home. I think about the song, and dancing and how many more shots I can handle before I'm out.

That is until Cato and I have tipped back yet another tequila shot by the bar and Glimmer, the sorority bitch of law school approaches.

"Hey Katniss! I'm surprised to see you here." Her voice drips with fake enthusiasm making me want to puke. She steps right up to me putting her lips to my ear in order to be heard. "I didn't think you'd have much to celebrate. Word has it you got cut from the law firm. Not so much better than the rest of us then are you? Couldn't have anything to do with that boyfriend of yours and his family's case could it?"

I don't even think about it before I launch myself at her, alcohol fueling my veins. My fist collides effectively with her jaw and she shrieks. Before I can go in for another blow arms are being wrapped around me and I'm being tugged backwards roughly.

"Katniss!" Cato yells in my ear. "Stop it! Stop it! Before she charges you with assault!"

That brings me back to my senses. The last thing I need is assault on my file, given how everything else has gone down.

Glimmer is giving me the most horrific stare while she clutches at her jaw. Before she can do anything however the security guard approaches. Cato and I let ourselves out readily.

"I'm sorry," I apologize once we're out in fresh air. A cool change had come again giving the night some bite.

"Don't even worry about it." Cato assures me, beginning the walk back down the street. "She's a bitch, Glimmer."

"But tonight was meant to be about celebrating. You don't have to take me home, you can go back." I say and then lurch forward as my toe clips the edge of the concrete. Cato's arm steadies me.

"I don't mind. We celebrated. Now we can go home and celebrate with people we actually care about and not people like Glimmer."

I grin a little. When I don't say anything Cato voices the question I'm waiting for. "What did she say to you?"

I sigh, letting out a huge breath I had been holding. "About getting fired and…Peeta." I shake my head. "I told him this whole thing couldn't be kept a secret. It's too big."

"She's just riling you up. She doesn't know anything for a fact."

"Rumors cause enough damage."

The wind suddenly blows a gale and I try to suppress a shiver. Cato wraps a friendly arm around me, trying to conserve warmth.

"What is with the weather lately? State 4's never cold."

"First time for everything." I mutter.

The rest of the walk back from the bar we fill with idle chit chat and banter. Nothing too serious. Cato offers to walk me home when we get to the fork in the road but I wave him away. It's only a few streets and this town is pretty safe. I'm cold again when he removes his arm from around me and walks quickly away heading towards his and Thresh's house.

The voice comes out of nowhere and for the first time ever I feel panicked at being alone at night. I whirl around and there she is. The witch. The devil.

"Cheating already on my poor boy?" Lora Mellark asks bitingly, walking down the porch stairs of a small cottage. I have no idea whose house it is. "I know he's a bit soft but I thought you'd at least give him a chance."

Her words boil my blood but I swallow my anger not wishing for a repeat of what happened with Glimmer. I turn and begin to march down the street when her cold hand grasps my arm.

"Shy now, dear? I wouldn't pick you for a shy one. You had enough balls to fake a court case after all."

She knows. Dread fills my body, leaving me feeling heavy. "I didn't fake anything." I tell her, looking her straight in the eye.

She chuckles once, humorlessly. "Your little stunt might be just what I need to tip it in my favor. So thank you Katniss."

She's trying to scare you, I tell myself. Don't listen to her.

"We'll see about that."

I try to leave again but her she says something that halts me. That sounds vaguely familiar. "You know, if you really cared about him, you'd leave."

"Do you care about him?" I bite.

A small smile creeps up her lips. "He's my son. If you knew what's best for him you wouldn't complicate his life further with your problems."

"You don't know anything!" I spit. "You're the only reason his life is complicated. And you're not in it anymore so back the fuck off."

I storm down the street before she can grab me again. Rage rolls off me in waves and by the time I reach the house I know I'm in trouble. I'm far too angry to even try to calm down. I storm in the door and Peeta and Finnick are still up, chatting on the couch.

"Hey! How's was the party…." Peeta trails off as he takes in my face.

Finnick lets out a low whistle. "I'm getting out before this gets ugly." And he disappears to the back of the house.

I march up the stairs and towards Peeta's room, knowing he will follow. Once he's in the room I slam the door and push him against the wall.

"Katniss-"

"Shut up." I mutter, unbuttoning his shirt. He looks confused and a small pang of guilt hits me. But it doesn't last long and I'm back on my mission to prove Lora Mellark wrong. To replace the seed of doubt growing in my head. I pull his mouth roughly to mine before he can ask any more questions. My hands work furiously at his clothes, ripping them off his body. He pulls away then and looks down at me.

"What is going on-"

"I don't want to talk about it. Please, no talk tonight."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me."

And he does, sending me over the edge multiple times, long into the morning. No questions asked.

000

My head is deep in my practice Bar exams. So I skyrocket and nearly topple my chair when the front door slams so hard the windows shake. I right myself, picking up the papers I dropped onto the ground. Finnick's voice calls from the kitchen.

"Peeta?"

Oh, no. Peeta had left early this morning to testify in court today, before I even woke up. Lora Mellark's words ring in my eyes from the other week. Your little stunt might be just what I need to tip it in my favor. Had my indiscretion really caused a problem in the case? Judging by the way Finnick is talking quietly to Peeta and Peeta is practically pulling his hair out I think so.

Fuck me.

"Peeta?" I call out tentatively.

His head jerks up and his eyes soften for a moment. "Hey." But his smile is forced. "Sorry, were you studying?"

I grit my teeth. Could he just fucking forget about me for one second? I shake my head even though I was. "What's going on?"

Finnick is watching the exchange carefully and his eyes flicker to Peeta as I ask the question, witnessing the sudden change in his demeanor again. He visibly tenses and takes a deep breath. He opens his mouth but it closes again. Eventually he shakes his head and just walks upstairs silently.

I share a worried look with Finnick. "Let me go." He says and I agree. If it had to do with the case my presence could just anger him further.

I head back to my notes but my concentration is already broken. I stare at the same paragraph repeatedly until Finnick descends the stairs.

"What happened?" I ask immediately.

He grimaces. "They might be calling a retrial. There was a…problem. I don't know whether it had to do with you Katniss. He seemed awfully angry at himself. Maybe he said something compromising."

My head falls into my hands. A retrial will take even longer. This is in no means over for Peeta. He will have to suffer for months more. Another chilling thought hits me; his mother will be here for months longer. Looming over us. Threatening us.

I storm upstairs despite Finnick's protests and fling Peeta's door open. He starts, his wide eyes falling on me.

"I'm sorry."

I'm not exactly sure whether I'm apologizing for. My assumed part in the retrial, for getting us into this mess or just offering him sympathy but I say it anyway.

"Don't be sorry." He whispers. "I just thought this would be over soon."

I cross the room and wrap my arms around him, nestling into his body. I don't know what to say, I've never been good with words. I don't even really know what the problem is, but this seems to be enough. He leans into my touch and exhales, closing his eyes. But even as we embrace I can't help wondering whether deep down, he's harboring anger at me for messing up his life. For bringing Lora Mellark's wrath back upon him.

Not so long after, Peeta says he needs to study and urges me to continue mine. He still has one more exam to sit. It's an out, I can tell but I don't say anything. I assume he just wants to be alone. I move back slowly down the stairs, allowing the afternoon sun to warm me through the windows. Finnick is gone but Johanna is flicking through the T.V. in the living room.

"Come on brainless. Let's go." She announces once my foot reaches the landing.

"What?"

"This house is getting fucking claustrophobic. I can't deal with it anymore. Take a walk with me."

I appraise her. Her arm outstretched in my direction, the pleading look on her face, the rigid stance she's in that tells me there is no way I can get out of this.

"Okay."

The stones crunch under our feet as Johanna and I walk along the deserted section of the Strip. I know Johanna's dying to ask something so I wait patiently keeping my mouth shut.

"What's up with you and Lover Boy lately?" There it is. She says it nonchalantly but I see through her.

"What are you talking about? We're fine."

Her eyebrows rise. "Well I can hear you fucking him every night so you're obviously fine in that sense. But-"

My face goes bright red even though I was long accustomed to Jo's crass personality. "Jo, don't." I say quietly.

"What's up Kat?"

"Nothing." I say shortly. I couldn't admit this to myself much less Johanna.

"Katniss-"

I whirl around on her and my eyes sting with tears. "What?"

"Are you happy?"

I stare at her for a long time, feeling the answer weighing down on my chest. "I don't know anymore." I whisper.

She takes a seat on a pile of rocks at the shore which overlook the waves. She leans down and grabs my hand, pulling me along with her.

"Peeta and you both have a world of your own problems, we all know that. But the last few weeks you two have just seemed…tense."

I sigh and look at the stretch of water in front of me. This is my happy place, where I 've come when I'm upset.

"I'm just…tired." I laugh once, willing the tears back. "I feel like I'm drowning in all of this."

"I know honey. Peeta seems tired too."

A pick up a lone stone and fling it across the water. "It's…it's just like we are trying not to upset the other with our own problems. And we're becoming so edgy….And I keep becoming fucking involved in his problems! His mother stopped me yesterday, you know?" Her eyebrows rise. "Yeah, brought up a lot of shit again. I don't know if I can deal with that woman anymore."

"It's not forever. Peeta hates her as much as you do."

"Yeah but I'm causing the problems. "

"Well the sex sounds great at least."

"Oh my god Johanna…." I halfheartedly push her as her smirk grows.

"Have you ever thought that..."

"Have I ever thought what?"

She looks away and out to the ocean. "That by choosing to be with Peeta you're choosing to take on more problems than maybe you can handle right now."

I frown, unsure how to really answer that. "I love him Jo. I really do. I can't lose him."

"I know. And he loves you so much." She hops down from the rock and starts walking further along the beach. "Just think about it."

000

"Ready for your surprise?" Finnick asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"I hate surprises." I grumble, picking at a bagel on the counter. I'm waiting for Peeta to come downstairs and take me out for the day. And like usual it bothers me that I have no idea what is going in.

"Just humor him. You'll like it trust me."

"You know?"

"Sweetie I'm the one that told him about it."

I roll my eyes. "Don't patronize me."

"I'm not patronizing you!" He holds his hands up in defense. "But he's put a lot of effort into this so you are going to enjoy it." He extends his index finger towards me. "And you two can stop moping around for a few hours."

"We're not moping around Finnick."

"I don't believe that. You two are turning into a basket case and you're too good together to let it fall apart. Just have fun, like a normal couple. And then in a few weeks we can kick up our heels and enjoy our holiday. We're all just waiting for you now."

I sigh and don't argue. But his words contradict Johanna's from the other night clearly in my head. Will things be different when all of this is over? Are we salvageable? Before I can argue with myself, Peeta appears in the kitchen.

"Ready?" He flashes me his million dollar smile.

I throw a glance at Finnick, jump out of my seat, and take his hand. "Ready." We leave to wolf whistles coming from the kitchen.

My nerves rise as we drive further and further from the heart of State 4. I look over at Peeta but he's deep in thought, his eyes never leaving the road.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Hm?" He starts and turns to me. "Oh, um – just- nothing."

"Peeta, come on. What's up?"

"Has…" He trails off, swallowing the question. I wait patiently, knowing he's trying to decide what to ask. "Have you seen my mother lately?"

"What do you mean?"

His eyes lock with mine and I see a mix of emotions in there. "Has she approached you? She said something the other day and…"

My heart sinks. He knows. Of course he knows!

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks and I can tell he's hurt.

"It wasn't important Peeta."

"How is it not important? What if she did something to you?"

"She's not going to do anything." I say in exasperation. "She's got a fucking court case against her already she doesn't need another!"

He looks at me carefully, the silence straining on. "I don't want you to keep things from me Katniss. I want you to be able to tell me anything."

I don't think he understands that this was exactly what I want to do. But right now that isn't really possible between the two of us. "This isn't a one way street Peeta." I snap.

He deflates. "You're right, I'm sorry. I know I've been…distracted."

And keeping secrets, I add silently.

I sigh. "Will you tell what happened that's got you so on edge?"

His fingers rake through his blonde curls making them more disheveled. "Your part in the case complicated things. They're working around it. You know I don't understand a lot of this legal shit Katniss."

I nod solemnly, his words confirming my suspicions. I'm not good for Peeta.

"Hey." He snaps his fingers in front of my face. "Don't think about it, okay? It's not your fault." Before I can remind him that it is entirely my fault a glint sparkles in his eye. "Come on, I'll make all this up to you. You're going to love this surprise."

I look up and see we've arrived. For a moment I'm transported back to State 12 by the greenery around me, with no trace of State 4's beaches at all. It's beautiful, breathtaking. A slice of home. He opens my door for me.

"Come on. The fun's yet to start." And he points to the forest in front of us. And I happily take his hand and follow him in.

000

"Where are we going?" I complain for what has to be the twentieth time. Peeta just laughs and tugs on my hand dragging me further into the forest. The magic of the forest has worn off of me and now I was twice as curious as to where he was taking me. "Peeta, I don't like surprises!"

"I know you don't but this will be worth it."

I sincerely doubt that but I close my mouth and let him drag me into the trees. I take note of a small wooden sign just off to the side of a dirt track. It reads: Lookout, 5 miles. With an arrow pointing along the track.

"Five miles? Are you kidding, that's ridiculous!"

He rolls his eyes. "It's not even that far. 100 miles would be ridiculous. Or a 1000."

"You have a strange sense of what is ridiculous Peeta Mellark."

"Just do it, okay?" He says with a smile. "I really want to show you this."

I shut up and take his hand and we begin the steady 5 mile track. It's mostly uphill which I know is going to be murder on my legs but if it is important to Peeta then it is important to me. We walk in silence for a long time and admire the old trees and animal sounds. I can still hear the ocean from some direction but it seems further away than what we were used to.

"Why are we doing this?" I ask after a while, not to complain but out of curiosity. Peeta notes the change in my tone.

"I wanted to do something, just us."

I nod and squeeze his hand lightly. The silence takes over again and is followed by our labored breaths as the path becomes steeper. We point out small things like a rabbit or a flower.

"They think the case will be done by next week." Peeta suddenly blurts out, breaking the silence.

I look at him curiously. He had a look of determination in his eye, like he was dead set on talking about this.

"I thought they were re-trialing." I say absently, the guilt planting itself in my gut once again.

"No, they're not."

I fight not to roll my eyes. Would've been nice if he had actually told me that before. "What if you lose?" I bite my tongue wishing that question hadn't slipped out. Annie was still confident they could win.

"Then we lose." He sighs, staring up into the sky. "Can't do anything about that."

He turns to me and I search his face, looking for something in particular. I find it. "You're angry."

We stop walking. "Why would you say that?" I can tell he is trying to be impassive but there's heat in his eyes.

I drop his hand and continue to walk along the trail. "I'm sorry, I really am. I'd take it all back if I could Peeta." I say and I can hear him catching up to me. He grabs my arm and spins me around.

"I'm not angry at you Katniss." He says it with such sincerity that I want to believe it. I really do.

I feel the familiar prick of tears. "Then what is wrong between us Peeta." I gesture between our bodies, my doubt finally getting the better of me.

I see the hurt in his eyes. "There's nothing wrong with us Katniss."

"We don't keep secrets from each other. But suddenly that's all we have Peeta! It's killing me. We don't talk like we used to, we don't do anything like we used to. Everything else around us is crumbling down Peeta and I don't want that to happen to us! I can't lose you."

His eyes widen slightly and I'm a little shocked at myself for saying so much. "I'm not going anywhere." He urges, capturing my hands again. "We're in this together. I won't let you go."

I can still see it in his eyes though. The little hint of sadness that he is trying so hard to mask.

The voices of the others swirl around in my head. Maybe being with Peeta, you're taking on more problems than you can handle…If you loved him

"I'm hurting you." I say. It's not a question. "I can tell. You're torn between what's happening and me."

"Katniss you're not hurting me!" He suddenly yells. "It's this whole fucking situation! And don't act like I'm the bad guy. You've holed yourself up in your room more nights this week than you've seen me! And then when you finally come to me you don't talk about anything we just have sex!"

I glare at him but his words ring true. I feel the tears in my eyes again. "I don't know what to do." I whisper.

He cups my face in his hands. "Stay. Just stay and we can get through all this shit together. And then once it's over we can forget it ever happened and move on. This isn't the end."

I want the words so badly to be true so I nod my head and clasp his hands in mine.

We continue trekking. It takes about an hour and a half to reach the top. But when we do my breath is taken. The beach is back but we are far higher than sea level. We are on the peak of a cliff only an iron rail separating us from the jagged edge breaking off towards the sea. A perfect mix of State 4 and State 12.

"Peeta this is beautiful." I whisper, admiring the endless stretch of sea. "How did you find this?"

"Finn told me about it. Said he found it a few years back. It's so far away from anything else that nobody really comes here."

I turn and give him a blinding smile. I race up and throw my arms around his neck. "Thank you."

"I love you." He answers.

I sigh and lean into his body. "I love you too. Always."

"Always."

000

The sun is beginning to set but I don't want to leave. I'm curled up against Peeta, his back leaning on the trunk of a tree, looking out across the ocean. I feel his lips against my hair, his arms tightening around me. I feel at home up here in his arms.

"Thank you for doing this for me." I mutter quietly in his chest.

"I'd do anything for you."

"Even hike up this mountain again?" I snicker, my legs still aching. I'm sure his are worse though from when he piggy-backed me up the last leg.

"I'd do it 200 times if I had to. Speaking of which we better start going down before it's totally dark."

I reluctantly agree and stand up, brushing the grass and dirt from my clothes. Hand in hand we start our way back down the path. I figured the way down would be a piece of cake but I didn't factor in the aches in my legs and how my knees keep buckling as we trek downhill. Peeta reaches out to catch me more than once.

The last half hour we're immersed in total darkness and we blindly trip over rocks and roots while Peeta attempts to light our way with the torch app on his iPhone with what dwindling battery is left. It's rough and messy but I like it. It's us.

We make it back to the car with only a few bumps and bruises and like always Peeta opens my door. We realize we're famished once we start our drive away from the cliff and halfway home we stop at a burger joint, stuffing our faces full of greasy fries and juicy burgers. It felt like the first bit of normality that we'd had in a while.

Peeta continues to drive home the excessively long way and by the time we pull into the drive it's nearing midnight. I roll my eyes as he hurries around the car to get to my door before I can. For once I'm glad he does because the tip of my shoe scuffs the edge of the door and he saves me a very painful face plant into the concrete. We walk towards the door laughing and wrapped up within one another.

I twist the handle of the front door and find it turns easily which must mean Finnick and Johanna are still up. Sure enough I'm proven right when we step into the lounge but there is someone else in the room that we weren't preempting.

"Rye?"

"Hey bro." The second oldest Mellark brother smiles at us.

"What are you doing here?" Peeta asks with a frown. Jo and Finnick quickly and quietly extricate themselves from the room.

"You need to know something before you start hearing it from other sources." Rye's eyes flicker to me, wary of my presence, but he continues. "None of this has been said officially so it's all off the record for the moment…but…Peet mom said if you don't' drop your statement and evidence you made in court she'll press charges."

Peeta laughs. I mean, he actually laughs and I want to hit him. "Press charges? Against who? Against what? She has nothing."

"Against Katniss."

The world spins to a stop.

"Fuck." The curse slips from both mine and Peeta's mouth. I knew this day had been too perfect. I didn't deserve it. I don't want to exist. Because it always came back to me. Every problem to do with Peeta always came back to me. I drop his hand like it's on fire.

"Katniss-"

I shake my head at him willing back the tears.

"This isn't worth it anymore Peeta. I'll do it. I'll confess. I don't even care anymore."

"No!" I flinch at the volume of Peeta's voice. "You are not destroying your career over this. I'll retract the statement. It's okay."

"That is not okay Peeta! Without that you could lose!"

"I'm not going to let you-"

"Let me? Let me?" I screech. "I make my own decisions Peeta! And this is mine!"

I move away from him quickly trying not to let his expression register in my brain.

"My career is already ruined Peeta." I mutter, staring at the floor. "I have to get at least one thing right. You have to win the case."

He opens his mouth but Rye cuts in. "She has a point Peeta."

Peeta glares at Rye in the most menacing way that I'm shocked. His eyes flickers to me and then he leaves the room. I sigh. Once again we're not on the same page.

I hear his bedroom door slam.

Well, that's that.

000

I'm pretty sure Finnick and Johanna downstairs can hear our voices, in fact the whole neighborhood probably can, but that doesn't stop neither me nor Peeta.

"Katniss this is ridiculous! Don't hand that over!" He motions frantically to the letter sitting on my desk, sealed and ready to hand over to court. I'd written it days ago, detailing my confession, before Mrs. Mellark got impatient and told them herself. It was the last thing I could give Peeta.

"Peeta I have to."

"No you don't! Why do you have to?"

"You'll lose otherwise Peeta. And I can't live with myself if you lose the case over me. And I didn't lose my job for you to throw it all away either!"

He glares at me fiercely. I thought he might get over it if he had a few days to think about it, but apparently that is not the case. He always tries to protect those around him. That's what Finnick had told me.

"Don't do this to yourself Katniss." He sighs as we both hear my phone buzz again. It had been going off for the past ten minutes but neither of us are paying it attention.

"Peeta I'm already done for. Please let me do this."

He rubs his face roughly with his hands and draws in a breath to say something when my phone goes off again. "For god's sake!" And then he answers it.

"Hello? Prim?"

My eyes widen and I make motions to try and grab the phone. He holds a finger out to me that makes me want to break it. Hold on, he mouths.

"Are you alright Prim?"

"Peeta!" I hiss.

"Prim I can't understand – Haymitch?"

I snatch it from his hands and step away. "It's my phone!" I snap. "Haymitch?"

"Sweetheart you need to come home." I suddenly hear the lack of sarcasm in his voice.

"Haymitch? What? Why?" Dread is slowly filling my stomach.

"Something's happened."

I sink to the floor, dragging my back along the wall. Peeta follows me down, suddenly all the anger drained from his face and concern taking its place. We knew something was happening, we knew. And we couldn't do anything about it.

"What happened?" I whisper and I can already hear the tears in my voice. The drowning feeling is back as everything presses in on me.

"It's your mother."

"No." Deep down I think I know where this is going. But I can't, I just can't admit it. "Haymitch-"

"She's gone Katniss." A sob escapes my throat and I feel Peeta's strong arms wrap around me, all thought of the letter gone.

"How?"

"She killed herself. Katniss, I'm sorry. Come home sweetheart. Prim needs you." The phone clatters to the ground from my hand and sobs rip through my chest. I struggle for air as I feel everything collapse in on me. Peeta's whispering something, maybe to me, maybe to the phone, but I can't process the words. All I feel is pain. It happened. It finally happened. I feel angry, murderous but then all I can think about is Prim. Sweet little Prim, who loved my mother to no end. She must be a mess.

I scream and punch the wall, the pain that shoots through my hand brings a sense of relief and pleasure. I go for a second but something stops me. I fight with Peeta for a second but he's too strong and he wraps his arms around me to prevent me injuring myself any further. He holds me so tight I can't move.

"Peeta!" I scream. "Let me go! Go away! I hate you! I hate them!" But he keeps holding and eventually my willpower wanes and I collapse into him.

"Shhh." He strokes my hair as every bit of control I've harbored is lost. Suddenly I'm lifted and placed carefully onto the bed. And I know he heard everything Haymitch said on the phone.

"Peeta I have to go home."

"Not right now." He says softly. "We'll get to later, okay? We'll go back together.

Together. Something about the word causes unease in my stomach but I can't even say why.

I want to argue, I want to push him away and run out of the house but I don't have the energy left. So I sink into the bed and listen to my sobs echo around the bedroom while Peeta just holds me.

This is the final straw. The last thing that could possibly go wrong. And I deserve it, I know I do, because I've made so many mistakes. My tears seem never ending and there's just so much pain that I can't even begin to deal with it. I'm drowning. Eventually it all becomes too much and I'm crushed by the deluge. I break apart and sink into unconsciousness, not nearly as sweet a relief as what I would have thought.

000

I'm groggy when I wake and there's also something soft and warm next to me. I turn slightly and see Peeta fast asleep beside me. How long was I out? As my mind slowly begins to function and return back to reality I feel a splitting pain in my chest over what has happened. But I push it away and then all I feel is numb. Numbness is better than the torment anyway.

Come home sweetheart. That's what Haymitch had said. I need to go home. I can't stay here any longer. I can't ignore my home any longer.

I slip from the bed quietly, careful to not jostle a sleeping Peeta. I look at him, so innocent in his sleep and I feel sad over what I'm about to lose. But he's too good for me. I can't give him what he needs. He deserves someone who he can lean on and support him through his problems. Not me. If I stay I'd bombard him with too much and he needs to focus on the court case. I'll mail the letter tonight, I decide. It's for the best anyway. That's the last good thing I can give him in the mess I've created.

Very quietly, I slip my suitcases out from underneath my bed. But Peeta's dead to the world. I throw in random clothes and other small items I don't want to leave behind until they are full and messy. The zipper is loud but Peeta still doesn't wake. I sit still for a moment and look at him. He will be angry with me. But I have to go home. He wants to go home with me but I can't let him. I won't let him wait around for me to try and be the right person. Because let's face it, it might never happen.

Blinking back tears I reach into my desk and pull out a piece of paper and a pen. I can't leave without saying goodbye. I write him a note explaining all the thoughts swirling around my head. I tell him I love him more than anything and that I can't imagine loving anyone else. I tell I'll miss him but this is, in the end, better. And I tell him I'm sorry that I made a mess of his life and I'm sorry that I couldn't be the right person for him. I slip the note under the pillow and hope he finds it when he wakes.

I quietly exit the bedroom and look down the hall to the other bedrooms. "I'm sorry." I whisper towards Finnick and Johanna. "I love you guys."

I descend the stairs and quietly open the front door though it barely makes a sound. My car is ready in the driveway, just waiting for the engine to be ignited. I take a deep breath, look back at the house that has been my home and my family, and get inside the car. The engine roars to life and I back the car down the drive. With one last look at the house, I speed away, leaving my love and leaving my family behind.

If I have learnt anything it's that I can't save everyone. That at some point we're all going to be hurt. But if only I could've saved Peeta from myself.

I stop by a mailbox and put my final gift to Peeta in the mail. And I hope he takes it that way; as a gift. Because that's the only thing left I have to give. We're both broken now, unable to be fused back together. But I hope in time he can be okay and get the life he deserves.

And as I speed out of 4 and back towards State 12 I wonder whether in time, maybe I can be okay too.

A/N: So I've been really conflicted about how to end this story but this was the way I originally planned when I first started writing this story and I felt I should keep it this way. I'm prepared for mixed comments so tell me what you thought. I hope you all liked it.

I always had a sequel in mind for this story and I have it outlined (titled: One Reason) so I've left it open to that option, if I write it. It would be in Peeta's POV but not a direct continuation of where this story ends. Also, I'm planning to rewrite 1000 Miles since I've recently reread it. The plot and most of the chapters will stay the same but it will flow a bit better.

A huge thank you to everyone who has stuck by this story! If it wasn't for all of you I wouldn't have made it to the end. I hoped you've enjoyed the journey as much as I have :)

-Elli xox