Sorry it took me so long with this chapter! I've been really busy with college stuff. Enjoy!
The sudden appearance of light on the other side of my eyelids drew me from my sleep. The sun was just rising. I sat up drowsily and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. To my dismay, this hardly served to provide any energy. After all, it's not like sleeping on a park bench is going to result in the soundest sleep ever.
For a moment, I'd actually forgotten what I was doing sleeping in the park and how I had gotten there in the first place. It didn't take long for the memories from the previous night to come crashing back like a tsunami, and before I knew it, I was again filled to the brim with anger.
How dare he. How could he? Him of all people? Do this to me? I bought my fingers up to my lips. The still burned from last night. A huge part of me that I was trying desperately to suppress was actually sort of happy, thrilled even, about what had occurred. This is what I've been dreaming of for months, and it finally happened.
No. I couldn't be happy. This was not my dream. Being used was not my dream. Being hurt was not my dream.
I could feel tears brimming in my eyes. There was no use in even trying to stop them so I didn't even try to devote any energy towards stopping it. Instead I focused every bit of strength I had on feed the hate monster taking roost inside my heart.
It felt like my insides were on fire. Love Ichigo? Hell, I HATED Ichigo. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted to torment him the same way he was tormenting me. I wanted to remove his existence from my inner world. I wanted to remove his existence from the entire world.
I felt a tear drop splash on my clenched fist and for a moment, I swore it would evaporate on contact. I was seething. On impulse, I clenched both my fists so hard, I thought they would start to bleed, and I punch the back of the park bench I was sitting at.
They say that when you have an intense inner pain, you should cause yourself an outer pain in order to distract your mind. That was horse shit. Now I was pissed AND in pain.
"Crap!" I screamed out loud as I waved my throbbing right fist in the air and clenched my tear filled eyes shut. What did you do that for, Rukia?
"What'd ya do that for?" I heard my thoughts being echoed, before someone grabbed my waving wrist. I opened my eyes, and didn't believe them.
"Let me see your hand" the red head monster towering above me commanded ask he examined my hand. "Jeez, you'll be lucky if you didn't get a splinter."
If he wasn't firmly grasping my wrist, I would simply just believe the boy standing before me was some kind of rage induced hallucination and would have just ignored him. But no. There he was standing above me. Pretending to be concerned. Like nothing happened. How did he even get this close to me without me noticing? Even my extremely low spiritual pressure, I still had pretty good instincts. They must have been clouded by my anger, letting Ichigo get the better of me once again.
I whipped my hand out of his so fast, I thought it would break, and I scowled. No it was beyond a scowl. It was a snarl. I was snarling like some mad beast. There was so much I wanted to say to him. There were a thousand words all gnawing on my brain. If I hadn't lost my soul reaper powers, I couldn't guarantee that Ichigo would even be alive today.
His expression changed from the usual scowl, to a more solemn look, and he averted his eyes.
"Look, Rukia", he started. "I-." He paused. It sounded just like how he had started that train wreck from the night before. It only made me want to hurt him more. He reached into his pocket and pulled out something. I was too busy focusing my eyes on his face, willing it to burst into flames to pay attention to what is was. "Here." He shoved what he was holding into my line of sight. It was a bunny shaped lollipop, blueberry flavored. It was my favorite. I don't know what made me angrier: the cheery expression on the rabbit, or the fact that he had tried to bribe me into somehow accepting what he had did to me.
He started to nervously scratch the back of his head. "Rukia, I-. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… done something like that. It's just that I didn't know how to-"
I slapped the candy out of his hands and jumped to my feet. I had finally found my words.
"Do you think candy can make up for what you did?" I screamed with no concern for the joggers and other patrons occupying the park. "Like I'm a, a child or something?" Do you think that I'll just roll over and forget about it?"
Ichigo stuck his hands in his pockets and averted his eyes. He looked so pathetic. It made me sick. "I'm sorry", he mumbled softly. He wasn't even trying to defend himself. Why was he making this so easy?
"You're not sorry! You can't be! Do you know how you made me feel?" There was no point in holding back now. It was not like I was ever going to see him again. "Don't you know that I love you more than anything else in the world, and that I would do anything for, and I would give you my life if you wanted, and then you just go and treat my heart like its dirt and trample over it, and you hurt me really, really bad." I didn't care about what I was telling him. I didn't care that I was crying. I didn't care that I was rambling. I didn't have a care in the world anymore and it hurt so much.
Ichigo was no longer looking at the ground, but instead had turned his attention back to me. I could barely see him through the tears.
"Rukia", he said softly. Before I knew it he was taking me into his arms. I let him. Even though, in my anger, I wanted to take that opportunity to stab him through the heart, I let him hold me in his arms and, with my face pressed into his nice school shirt, I sobbed. I let the sound of his heartbeat soothe me just as it had done the day before.
I could feel him chuckle. "You mean to tell me you love me, too, Rukia?"
Too? I pulled away and looked up at him through puffy eyes. He move some of my sweat drenched hair out of my face. He was smiling.
"Y-you don't love me", I said with a quivering voice. He pulled me back to him and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
"I don't know if I love you more than you claim to love me", he said softly into my hair. "But I'll try if you let me."
I stood still in disbelief. I even my tears froze in shock. I took a second for what had come out of Ichigo's mouth to fully sink in, but when it did, I smiled and let myself be enveloped by the man holding me. "I guess I could give you a shot", I said as I buried my face deeper into his chest.
After what seemed like an eternity in his arms, Ichigo bought his head down to my ear and whispered, "You know I got you another sucker."
I know that was sort of shitty, but it gets better. THIS IS NOT THE END! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I promise to update sooner if you do!