Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I do not have any rights to Harry Potter and I do not make any money from writing these stories.

A/N: Written for the Relationship Bingo Challenge, Written for the Diseny-A-Thon Challenge, Written for the If you dare continued challenge, Written for the Animal Competition, Written for the Wand Wood Competition, Written for the Camp Potter II Obstacle Challenge bit.

Prompts: Ron/Dudley, Love/Hate relationship, Unrequited Love Relationship, "Are you actually considering this?", wet paint, silk, "Might as well try to drink the ocean with a spoon as argue with a lover" - Stephen King, Exhaustion, Write about the origins of Magic (Terence), Adolf Hitler, Write about a Weasley (Moose), Write about a Gryffindor (Ash).

Muggle Lover

"Are you actually considering this?" Arthur asked as he turned to look at his son with worried eyes, "I know that magic has chosen your soul mate for you, I understand about how way back in the times magic was born this sort of thing was decided for us but still...are you sure this is correct decision son?"

"I might as well try to drink the ocean with a spoon as argue with a lover," Ron said softly with a dreamy sigh ignoring his father's words, "I hope the wet paint in our new joint bed room has dried by the time we manage to get back home, I do hope that the silk curtains have not gotten any paint on them either."

Arthur let out a sigh as he allowed his exhaustion to wash over him, he was now sure that his son's muggle soul mate would see him as that big bad evil man he had found a book of muggle history about, Adolf Hitler.

"Son...remember all of those stories I used to tell you, your brothers and your sister?" Arthur asked carefully, even though he did not want to say this because of the look of pure happiness on his son's face it had to be said.

"Yes, you told me all about the origins of magic and how everyone has a soul mate given to them by magic," Ron replied as he tore his eyes away from where he was staring out of the cafe window while they waited to be shown to their seats, "I cannot believe who my soul mate is! To find out that I was so close to him yet I did not realise it! This is truly the work of magic."

"W-what if your mate does not like you back?" Arthur asked slowly, worried for his son, "I mean this is Dudley, Harry's cousin."

"I know," Ron replied with a large goofy smile on his face, "Is it not so wonderful of magic to give me my mate? From all of those stories and home schooled history books on the origins of magic I was expecting to have to go on a noble quest half way around the world to look for Dudley."

Arthur let out a silent groan at his son's words, he racked his mind as he tried to think of a way to make his son see sense, as much as he liked muggles and found their world interesting and wanted to know just how a rubber duck works and what its function was he did not approve of his son and a muggle having what he just knew would be a love/hate relationship.

"Son...do you not think that it might be better to take things slowly and maybe get to know each other through letters?" Arthur asked worriedly, "I do not want to see you get hurt or-"

"Look! There he is!" Ron cried out as he turned and ran out of the cafe, "Dudley! My precious soul mate!"

Arthur let out a groan, sent everyone an apologetic look and turned around and ran out of the cafe following his son. As he burst out of the cafe looking around frantically for his son Arthur found himself letting out a sigh of relief when he spotted Ron standing just a few feet away with a love sick smile on his face opposite Dudley Dursley who were being kept in place by Hagrid.

"Dudley! My love!" Ron cried out happily as he missed the worried looks Hagrid and his father shared over his head, "It is great to see you! I cannot wait to show you your new world-"

"Shut it freak, I do not belong in this stupid world and I am not your precious anything!" Dudley growled out angrily as he glared at the red head who was looking at him with a large love sick silly grin on his face, "Let me go home! Why did you have this big ugly monster kidnap me for?!"

"I did not kidnap ya lad," Hagrid said with a gruff voice as a frown came to his face, "I have brought you to Hogsmade here to met ya soul mate."

"There is no such thing as a soul mate," Dudley replied as his hands went straight back to his bum, which was where they had been for the most of their journey to Hogsmade, "And there is no way that I could have a male as a lover!"

"Do not worry my cute muggle honey bunny," Ron said with a lustful grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at the paling Dudley, "I will be more than happy to teach you about the origins of magic as we get to know each other."

"Get to know each other?" Dudley cried out as he tore himself away from Hagrid and took a few large steps away from the two Weasley's and half giant, "Are you crazy? I told you, I do not love you, I hate you, you are nothing but a freak! Leave me alone you kidnapping crazy freak!"

Ron laughed, "You have such a way with words honey bunny."

"Ron...maybe the potion was wrong," Arthur said softly as he looked between his son and Harry's muggle cousin, "Maybe we should-"

"Listen to that big freak because he is the only one talking normally!" Dudley shouted out as he cut Arthur off and pointed at Arthur with a fat shaky hand, "Whatever you did to make you think that I could possibly be your soul mate because of some strange freaky spell that you freaks did you are wrong!"

"Watch who you are calling a freak," Hagrid said darkly as he remembered all of the stories Harry had told him one day when the black haired hero had needed someone to just sit and listen as he got everything off of his shoulders.

"You are right Hagrid," Ron said suddenly shocking Arthur, Hagrid and Dudley, "My precious honey bunny needs to have some language lessons if all he can think up to call us is freaks. Do you think that mum would not mind helping me to find a private teacher who can teach my soul mate or do you think that a professor from Hogwarts would not mind teaching my honey bunny the proper use of the English language."

"If your soul mate shapes up and changes from the idiot muggle he is at the moment then I do not see any reason why not," Hagrid replied gruffly as he shot Dudley a warning look, "I also know several people who are looking for a little part time job like this now that the war is done and over with to help them earn a little bit of extra money that they can use to rebuild their homes with."

"Hey! Do not talk about me like I am not here!" Dudley said loudly as he glared at the three wizards, "I do not know what you are all talking about but I am not taking any lessons! I am not your so called soul mate and I do not want to learn about something as freaky as the origins of magic!"

"You have such a strange sense of humour," Ron said with a oblivious laugh as he took a few steps towards Dudley only for him to take just as many steps backwards, "But would you not like to be able to speak like us? I would of thought that-"

"Shut up! Stop insulting me you idiot! Stop talking like you did not just kidnap me!" Dudley yelled out as he looked around frantically as he tried to find a normal none freak person he could get the attention of to help him out and to save him, "How many times do I have to tell you that I do not love you? I am not your stupid soul mate!"

"Ron...maybe you should listen to him," Arthur said softly with worried eyes as he looked between his son and the muggle, "I do not think that if this muggle was your true soul mate he would be reacting like this."

"I hate to admit it lad but your father is correct," Hagrid replied with a pitying look causing Dudley to let out a dramatic sigh of relief.

"Good! Now that we have agreed that I am not going to be his soul mate, now or ever, how about you take me home and leave me alone?" Dudley said as he glared at the three wizards.

"Nope, you are my soul mate, I am sure of that," Ron said with a large love sick grin on his face, "You just need some help to realise this as you are in shock at finally finding me. Do not worry through as I know just what will work for you! I hope you enjoy your very first kiss! Do not worry through as there are plenty more to follow!"

With those last few words spoken Ron leaned forwards and planted a firm kiss on Dudley's lips.

The End.