Author's Note: this story was originally posted on ao3, but i'm posting it here now because i can't access my ao3. rip.
while this is a sequel to one of my other works, tender roots, it's not necessary to read tender roots before reading this work. i think this work can stand on its own two feet.
with that said; if you're a newcomer, this fic takes place within the universe of my hero academia. some minor, and some not-so minor things have been changed, like deku's gender and some plot threads/elements. you'll get what's different as you read along. (also; it's only essential to have watched the first three seasons of my hero academia to get what's going on in this fic)
also, in contrast to tender roots, this fic is intended for a more mature audience. let's say for an audience who's at least 16 and up. i honestly can't pinpoint if 16+ is too harsh or lenient a rating for this fic tbh, but know at least that it's rated m for a reason.
enjoy :)
Abuse.
A five letter word that is constantly thrown around by... everyone and anyone, nowadays, it seems.
And at the enlightening age of fourteen, Katsuki finds himself wondering sometimes what that word really means.
It is abuse, when you tell a friend how stupid they are for obsessing over anime all the goddamn time?
Is it abuse, when you tell a friend how dumb they are for wanting to be a Hero, even though they have absolutely no shot at becoming one?
Is it abuse, when you burn your friend's notebook, so that they can stop dreaming for something out of their reach?
Katsuki doesn't think it is.
If it were, Izuku wouldn't have bothered to try and save Katsuki from that Sludge Villain three weeks ago.
Anger then consumes Katsuki as her name comes to mind.
Izuku.
.
.
.
Deku.
The quirkless loser he's known since fucking elementary.
The good-for-nothing, worthless weakling who actually still thinks she has a shot of getting into U.A.
And yet.
Despite how crazy she drives him. And despite how he wants more than anything for everyone at their middle school to believe that Katsuki wants Izuku dead—-
Deep down, he still views Izuku as a friend.
It's why he hasn't honest-to-God killed her already.
Now, don't misunderstand. There's no deeper meaning behind that sentiment. To Katsuki, Izuku is stuck in the friend-zone, and she always will be.
He's not going to explain why.
Just... look at her.
She's a colossal wreck of an individual. She has the most insane hobbies and dreams, and while she may have good grades, she has such a complete disregard for how reality works and operates, that it's a literal miracle she hasn't died yet. Whether it be death from depression, or by getting killed by Katsuki himself.
His fists ball, and he shakes his head.
Who is he kidding.
She's alive because of him.
He isn't a fool. He knows how Izuku feels about him. Katsuki knows it, because beneath the hatred in her eyes—beneath the anger, the loathing, the contempt— there's something else hidden in her green orbs whenever she looks at Katsuki.
And it's something she can't hide from Katsuki, no matter how hard she may try.
It sickens him.
It sickens him that what she's hiding is something he harbors for her as well. It sickens him how it's something he can never act out on.
Not with the way she is. Not with who, not with what she is.
A quirkless nothing.
Izuku admires Katsuki. It takes a certain kind of stupid not to see that.
It's sickening. She admires a person who treats her like utter shit, who's treated her like utter shit since day one, and who will continue to treat her like shit as long she's still fucking alive. And it sickens him.
And frankly, Katsuki wouldn't give a fuck about Izuku's admiration for him—wait, what is is saying? He doesn't give a fuck.
But her wide eyes and voluptuous figure do get distracting every now and then.
Katsuki growls as he stares at the ceiling of his bedroom as he lies in his bed.
Who is he kidding. They're all what distract him from focusing on his fucking studies.
Too often he's imagined kissing her senseless. Too often he's imagined her lips against his.
Too often he's wanted her body to just melt into his.
He craves her. He craves her, so fucking much.
But...
With how she is, and how she'll forever be, he can't have her.
It wouldn't be right.