AUTHORS NOTE: If the chapter before this one was messed up...I'm sorry I was writing it in the middle of the night and soon as I finished it I fell asleep. But hope you enjoy this story., LOVE JOYFULsvuFAN ;p

Olivia sighed in relief walking into her apartment. Turning on the light she had fell on the couch wondering if she could even make it to the bed tonight. She looked over on the coffee table and saw a wrapped up piece of notebook paper. She tool it sitting up on the couch and noticing it was Brian's handwriting.

Dear Liv, my beautiful girl

Unfortunately I'm on another case do to Tuckers orders. I promise I'll make it up to you babe. I promise I will. I know things have been distant but I still love you. Just don't give up on us okay. Well talk when I get home.

Love, Brian.

P.S we're out of wine. I 'll bring some home.

Olivia sighed I'm disappointment realizing that Brian wasn't home. Again. For the fourth time this week. She threw her purse the coffee table and stood up balling up the piece of notebook paper. As she the kitchen she threw it in a nearby trashcan.

######NEXT DAY#####

Olivia sighed waking up turning over and saw that Brian was in bed asleep, with his arm wrapped around her. She smiled and started to run her hand through his brown bed head hair.

Brian felt this and started to stir in his sleep waking up slightly and started chuckling at Olivia pulling her closer to him.

"Good morning beautiful,".he said pulling her in for a short kiss.

"You came in late...again,".She pointed out.

"I did. Truckers got me working all the damn time. Why?"Brian asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm wondering. I said it was nice to have someone to come home to but now...there's no one home at all," she looked into his chestnut eyes waiting for his response but all he gave was a simple, "Sorry,".

"Brian do you love me?"she said. He was silent as he closed his eyes breaking their eye contact and she felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

Brian caught her by surprise when his eyes snapped open and gave her a passionate kiss. Wasn't long but he kissed her thin lips for a moment before pulling away. He cupped her cheek and started to rub her soft skin.

"Olivia Benson I love you more than anything. I love your more than any other women I've been with. I love your hair, your badasss attitude, your body, your smile. I love you more than words can describe,".Brian said looking into her beautiful brown eyes.

Then something quickly popped in her mind and before she could stop herself she said,"What about Carissa?"

He pulled his hand from her cheek running a hand through his hair groaning. "Really Liv we have that right now?"

"I'm just saying...since you were in love with her before me. Sometimes I wonder if I was just a second if she hadn't died? Then would you still love me?"

"Olivia-"

"Your never home, I'm alone. We've only had sex once since my ordeal. Youbwant to be pleased but I have a feeling not by me. Instead of a fourth six year old women who starts to sag, you'd rather be with a twenty year old whore,". Olivia shouted. Now she was starting to cry really hard tears flowing down her face and since she didn't wash off her make up from the day before her mascara was completely ruined.

"Olivia Carissa wanted more...but I didn't okay. It was just a quick fucking and that's it. And I would NEVER cheat on you. I admit I stay out a lot but I would never do that to you," he got out of bed and stopped on his way to the bathroom before saying, "And damn you for thinking that,".

Olivia cried until she couldn't any more. She heard Brian start taking his shower and she sighed getting up from bed and walking into the guest bathroom to stargazing off her face. She walked into her bathroom and started to drink orange juice watching a picture of her and Brian on the Eiffel tower in France. She shook her head and played it flat down so she didn't have to see it.

When Brian finished taking his shower he quickly got dressed for work...Again, and kissed Olivia on the cheek before leaving her alone in the empty apartment.

She saw her phone ring and saw that it was Amanda's caller id. She pulled herself together as best she could and answered the phone. "Benson,".

"Yeah Liv Porters here and ready to go over the case,".Amanda's highly noticeable southern accent was heard through the phone.

"Uh...yeah okay. I'll be there in an hour,".She hung up the phone and started to get dressed for the day.