CHAPTER 3

DISCLAIMER: STILL DOESN'T BELONG TO ME, GUYS.

It was beautiful here. Hermione didn't understand why it was so warm, but she welcomed it against the bitter cold that winter had let in.

Hermione wandered around slowly, taking in her surroundings. The place almost seemed familiar, and yet she couldn't place it. She heard a soft crackling and popping noise and headed towards it.

Of course; someone had lit a fire. That must be why it was so deliciously warm in the house. It was almost uncomfortable how warm it was. She almost wished for the snow and slush outside, but the cracking and popping was so soothing.

Oh look, there was a picture of her on the floor. That's not right. Pictures belong on the mantel or the wall. She would just bring it with her and place it on the fireplace when she got there.

This place could use a cleaning spell or two. There was blackness smudged everywhere and the gray dirt was becoming thicker and widely spread.

More pictures of her. This one is cracked, though. That will never do. She would repair it when she got to the fireplace.

Much too hot in the house now. Maybe she would douse the fire and open some windows.

Hermione turned a corner in the house and was met with a fire that consumed the room. Fire ran up the walls, eating everything in its path. Through the smoke, Hermione clutched the pictures and tried to look around the room to see if her wand was near. For some reason, it wasn't in her pocket, but she knew she needed to put out the fire.

"Mum! Have you seen my wand?" Hermione yelled to the figure she spotted sitting on the settee. When she received no answer, Hermione walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder.

Slowly, her mother turned her body and looked up through her charred flesh at her bewildered daughter. The burnt mouth opened and started screaming.

XXX

"Hermione! Hermione, for God's sake, stop moving! Wake up!"

Eyes popping open, Hermione sat straight up in her bed and looked wildly around, wand in hand, before starting to sob.

Lavender came over to sit on her bed and try to talk to her, but Hermione felt as if she was hearing her from under water. She kept seeing her house burning and hearing her mother's inhuman scream. Distantly she thought she heard the name "McGonagall" but she couldn't be bothered by it.

"Miss Granger! Poppy, I think we better floo her into the hospital wing."

"I agree. Let me send a patronus to Severus to have him meet us. I'm afraid that I'm running low on supplies."

"Miss Granger, I need you to stand. Very good. Now, can you walk with me? Clutch my arm, girl, that's it. A few more steps now, just like that. We're going to go through the floo now, Miss Granger. Miss Granger! Calm down! It's just the floo!"

The green flames leapt up in Hermione's face and she began to panic. She couldn't go back into the fire. She couldn't see her mother again. It was her fault. The school would be next, all because of her. It would get out of control and then Hogwarts would burn down. Soon the burnt faces of Harry and Ron would join her mother and father. Then the school.

"Miss Granger, what are you talking about? Hogwarts isn't burning, my dear! Poppy, see if Severus can meet us here." Green flames erupted again and the Potions Master stepped into the Gryffindor common room. "You have perfect timing, Severus. I need your assistance. Miss Brown, Miss Patil, go back to your rooms."

"What's the matter with Granger?"

"She's completely hysterical, Severus. I was hoping you would bring me a calming drought and some dreamless sleep since I'm out, but we only made it as far as the floo before Miss Granger collapsed on the floor, sobbing anew about Hogwarts burning. She almost brought Minerva down with her."

"Miss Granger. Miss Granger!" Hermione's conscious seemed to float towards the surface at the Potions Master's sharp voice. She stared dully up at him through her watered eyes.

"Legilimens!" Hermione slightly felt her professor rummage through her mind but paid him no heed until he got to the dream. She started to panic again causing Snape to lose eye contact. "Dammit! Petrificus totalus!"

"Severus! Really! You can't petrify a student!" Poppy yelled.

"Well I just did. There were really very few options to get her to stay still. Let's get her through the floo and I'll try again in the hospital wing," Snape said, levitating Hermione's prone body.

When they emerged, Snape floated Hermione onto a hospital bed and once again started his legilimency. He could feel her fear as he watched himself as her go through the floo just now, and started digging for what had triggered her episode. When he found the dream and watched it, he finally pulled back gravely.

"Give me a moment to get some potions. Do not un-petrify her," he snapped.

Hermione heard all of this but no longer cared. Reliving her dream while letting Snape watch it was too much, and if they never un-petrified her it would be too soon. Eventually, however, she heard the whoosh of the floo and heard Snape mutter the counter-curse. Even then, though, she lay still, staring up at the ceiling.

"Miss Granger, this is a Dreamless Sleep potion that you will take right now. You will not argue. If you attempt to, I will also administer a Calming Drought," she heard Snape say from the side of her. "Miss Granger, I'm speaking to you. Miss Granger!" Still she ignored him.

Hermione felt drained in a way she never had before. Even Professor Snape's most fierce voice couldn't get her to muster enough energy to turn her head.

"Minerva, please lift her upper body. Poppy, I have a case of potions by the floo for you, and if you would send for the Headmaster please," Snape said, and leaned over Hermione. Even when McGonagall lifted her, she dully stared straight ahead. "Miss Granger," Snape started in what could almost pass as a gentle tone, "I'm going to administer the potion now."

Slowly, he tipped her chin back and she obediently opened her mouth slightly. He started to pour the potion in and moved his hand to her throat to gently massage it, coaxing her to start swallowing on reflex. Soon, all of it was gone and Hermione's eyes were already closed before McGonagall laid her down.

XXX

"What has happened?" Dumbledore asked, sweeping into the Hospital Wing as Snape was pulling the curtain around his student. He stood by and let McGonagall and Pomfrey explain the situation to the Headmaster until they turned to him for his part.

"Miss Granger had a nightmare," he simply said and shrugged.

"That's it? A nightmare? How could that get her so worked up to go into a catatonic state like that?" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Because it was about her deceased mother in a burning house screaming like a banshee. Then we tried to force her through the floo, and then I petrified her and really forced her through the floo, where she felt as if her nightmare was coming true."

"What do you suggest Poppy?" Dumbledore asked, looking every bit his hundred plus years.

"Unfortunately, or fortunately, I have experience dealing with orphaned children during war time. I've had some reactions close to how she was when being administered potions. I believe she should stay here for a few days. I'll give her a calming drought tomorrow, and another dreamless sleep, and then slowly wean her off of them. But she needs to talk to someone," Pomfrey explained.

"I shall inform Potter and Weasley of her condition tomorrow," McGonagall started but stopped when Snape scoffed.

"Potter maybe, but keep the male Weasley out of here. I also saw that they fought earlier and he upset her terribly when he accused her of cowardice and running away when she explained her plans for after Hogwarts," Snape sneered.

McGonagall's lips pursed tightly in displeasure and disappointment and nodded. "Potter, then, to start out. Maybe the young Miss Weasley."

"I can ask Remus if he can stop in as well," Dumbledore started, ignoring another scoff from the Potions Master. "He understands loss very well, and I think it will be beneficial to Miss Granger to talk to someone who understands some of the pain she's feeling. Harry has no parents, true, but he didn't know them enough to miss them. He can sympathize with the loss of Sirius, however, and Remus can sympathize with the loss of his best friends. I will try to think of others who can spare some time. Her mind is far too valuable to let deteriorate out of grief."

Snape found himself nodding in agreement before turning to stride out of the room.

XXXXX

"Are you ready for this, son?"

"Yes."

Lucius and Draco disapparated together. They appeared again in a large, unfamiliar woods clearing where Draco saw Voldemort sitting on a large ornate chair in the center.

"Approach, Lucius, and bring Draco with you," Voldemort hissed, considering them both with narrowed eyes as they came to kneel in front of him. "Draco, I have a task for you."

"A task, my lord? I will do anything to please you," Draco replied, keeping his eyes downcast.

"I know I had told your father that you will be joining my ranks the next time I saw you, but I fear that is not the case. Don't get too disappointed, Draco," the Dark Lord said, amused at the saddened way the young man's shoulders seemed to droop. Draco was just happy his relief came off as disappointment. "Soon I will mark you, but first I need you to become an unmarked member. Where I will be sending you, you will not be allowed to bear my mark. It would not be prudent, at least."

"I will go wherever my master dictates," Draco obediently answered, trying to ignore the small pebble he had knelt on.

"We bow to your greater knowledge," Lucius replied, trying to ignore Draco's squirming.

"Draco, look at me," Voldemort commanded. When their eyes met, he started rummaging around in the young man's mind, finding only satisfactory images. He expected nothing less from a Malfoy. "When you graduate, you will be sent to the States. Yes, as distasteful as that sounds," he said when Draco made a face, "you will go. I need you to spy on the mudblood friend of Potter. I have heard that she will be running away there after graduation to attend Salem Academy. Unfortunately, I feel it unwise to spread my troops out so thin and far. So I will send you."

"What would you have me do, my lord?"

"You will spy on her, figure out her vulnerabilities, and find out when she leaves on holiday and such. As distasteful as it sounds, you might even consider befriending her," Voldemort sneered.

Draco wrinkled his nose in a show of disgust. "She would never trust me," he said, quickly adding "My lord" to the end when Voldemort glared at him.

"You will earn her trust. Explain that it was your late mother's wish to see you away from this war," he explained, ignoring the way Draco's hands tightened at the mention of his mother. "She's a Gryffindor. She will be stubborn but view befriending you as a challenge to be taken by the horns. I hear you have an affinity for charms. That is good because she is going for her mastery in charms. Severus has already agreed to write you a recommendation letter."

"I understand, my lord."

"Now leave. The application for the university has already been sent to your dormitory."

"Yes, my lord. Thank you for the opportunity to prove myself, my lord," Draco said, as Lucius had coached him, before backing away to the apparition point with his father.

"Oh Draco," Voldemort called as Draco and Lucius were about to apparate, "do not disappoint me. It would be a shame to lose another Malfoy."

XXXX

"Hey 'Mione."

Hermione heard the familiar voice, but couldn't place it. It seemed like too much work to open her eyes.

"Maybe we should come back…"

That voice she knew. She somehow found the strength to open her eyes, and she proceeded to glare at the red head standing at the foot of her bed.

"Go away, Ron," she croaked, closing her eyes again. She slipped blissfully back to into sleep.

XXXX

The next time she woke, it was to listen to Madam Pompfrey.

"Miss Granger, you need to wake up and eat. I refuse to let you starve. Now," she snapped when Hermione ignored her.

Slowly her eyes opened and she struggled to a sitting position with the help of the matron. Picking up her cutlery, she ate a little of everything before sliding back down to sleep again.

XXXX

"Hermione," someone said, gently shaking her shoulder.

Hermione groaned and opened her eyes to find Remus Lupin staring at her concernedly. She stared silently back at him.

Taking a deep breath, Remus started talking. "Hermione, listen to me. Everyone is worried about you. Please talk to me." When she continued staring at him, he sighed. "Hermione, everyone goes through loss. What you need to realize is that you have the support of friends that others don't. I lost three of my best friends to the same cause that cost you your parents. I was terribly depressed for a long time, and if it wasn't for a promise I had made to Albus, I probably would have ended my life long ago. I would have died without knowing that Peter was still alive and thinking Sirius was a murderer. I'm happy now I didn't, because I have Tonks, but it still hurts. And it's going to forever."

Hermione continued to stare at him, silent tears starting to slide down her face.

"You have to battle through this."

XXX

"Hey, Mione. Glad to see you're awake this time," Harry said as he sat down next to her. She had been staring at the ceiling for the last two hours. "It's been two days, Hermione." Still she stared. "Seriously, you need to come back to the living. Ron is sorry, by the way. He reckons he shouldn't have said that you were running away. I think he's just nervous. We all are. Everyone knows that this can't go on forever, but no one knows when Voldemort will strike."

He waited to see if she would say anything, and sighed in frustration when she continued to stare up. "The longer I hide away, the longer this war gets stretched out and the more people die. No, I didn't know my parents, but I lose people every day. I don't have to know them or love them for me to care about their deaths. Think about that. I'll be around when you want to start functioning again."

Hermione turned to stare at the retreating form of her best friend, and then closed her eyes.

She fell asleep crying.

XXX

"Well, Granger, you look like utter shite. Which to me, honestly, doesn't look much different than how you normally do, but I've been told you look worse now."

Hermione jerked her head around to stare as Draco Malfoy lowered himself into the chair next to her bed.

"I hear that you aren't speaking. That's fantastic, really it is. I've been waiting for a time when you wouldn't have anything to say. Anyway, did you hear the news? I sent off my application to Salem. It looks like you and I are going to be the best of mates."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No one said we had to be friends, Malfoy," she said before snapping her mouth shut, eyes going wide.

"This is just my luck. You haven't uttered a word in almost three days other than to tell Weasley to leave, and you decide to start talking when I get here," Draco complained whilst amusement glinted in his eyes. "And actually, yes Granger, someone did say we needed to. The Dark Lord has told me that I'm to befriend you while we're abroad. He seems to think, that as a Gryffindor, you will think of befriending me as a challenge." He smirked as she rolled her eyes again. "So, what happened? You can tell me, since we're best mates and all. Think of it as a trial period."

"Go away, Malfoy."

"Never mind, you don't need to tell me. I heard Potter and Weasley talking about you. Seems you had a nightmare about your dead mum, right?"

Hermione squeezed her eyes shut and willed Draco to leave, trying to go back to ignoring him like she had ignored everyone else, but he kept talking.

"So what happened? Did she hug you? Did she tell you that it wasn't your fault and you couldn't have prevented it?"

"Stop it, Malfoy, please."

"Or, did she scream at you? Did she rant and rave about how it was your entire fault?"

"Stop it!"

"Even worse, did she do nothing but stare at you while you try to apologize for everything that happened? Was she silently standing there, letting you scream and cry and plead and beg her to forgive you?"

"Why are you doing this?" she nearly yelled, voice still horse from disuse. Tears were streaming down her face.

"Or," Draco began again, quietly, ignoring her question, "did you dream about her death? Did you dream about Death Eaters coming to take her away while you were unaware because you were at school? Did you dream about how they tortured her all because of who your family is? Knowing that if your parents had been different then she would be still alive? Did you relive the time when Dumbledore called you in to tell you the news? Did you relive the Christmas holiday away from school watching your father drink himself into a stupor because he knew it was his fault?"

Hermione looked up at him confusedly through her tears.

"Oh wait," Draco sneered, "those are all my dreams. Those are my nightmares about my dead mum. She died two months ago. My father had displeased the Dark Lord yet again, and he decided that it deserved a worse punishment. So he ordered my mother's death. Neither one of us knew. I was at school, obviously, and he had sent my father away for some mission. They kidnapped her, tortured her, killed her, and then left her in front of the gates of our manor for my father to see when he got home. So I'm sorry if your parents died, but at least you don't have to live with knowing your father, and now you, are forced to work for the man who did it. You don't have to pretend to feel nothing, or worse, pretend like it was a fair punishment when you're standing in front of him."

It was silent for a few minutes while Draco pretended not to be shaken up and let Hermione digest everything he said. Professor Snape had told him that now would be a good time to start building a bridge. It would amuse Voldemort to know that Draco and she were "bonding" over their dead mother.

"So your father was the one to ask Professor Dumbledore to protect you," Hermione stated and met his eyes. "He explained that I wasn't the only one that needed to be sent away and that it was requested that he protect another student. I assumed it had been your mother. I'm sorry, by the way, about that."

"Me too, Granger. It seems that both sides suffer at his hands. But that's no reason to go basically comatose. You're just making yourself vulnerable. You're making my job of finding out your weaknesses too easy."

"I don't know how to go back to normal," she whispered.

"Then don't. No one ever said to go back to how things were. That's impossible. There are bigger things happening here, though, than just the murder of your parents or my mother. This," he waved his arm in a sweeping gesture, "is so much bigger than you or I. So you soldier on. Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes you have to bide your time under a megalomaniac until the time is right. Sometimes good people die. I was lucky to have my father and Professor Snape to listen to when they explained it to me. You just get the watered down version from me, but it will have to do. So shut up, take a shower for Merlin's sake, get dressed, and go back to your life. Other people have problems too."

With that, Draco stood up and walked away leaving Hermione alone with her thoughts.

XXX

The next morning at breakfast, Harry looked up when Hermione sat down across from him.

"Hey! I didn't know you were out! How are you feeling?" he asked as Ginny smiled at her encouragingly and Ron automatically passed her the tray of bacon.

"I'm okay," she said, shrugging slightly. "I've been better and I've been worse, you know?"

Harry nodded solemnly and Ginny patted her hand before going back to eating.

Hermione looked up and caught Draco's eyes from across the Hall. He gave her a slight nod and raised his juice in a silent salute before drinking. Looking back at her friends, she gave them a small smile and started to eat.

Author's notes: We're trucking along, slowly but surely. Stick with me, please. I swear I will start writing longer chapters. This one used to be longer but I ended it here because it looked right.

As always, a big thank you for reading. (and reviewing, if you have!)