Michel & Josette

Chapter 7: Bartholomew is Missing!

Michel dragged himself home after leaving the hospital, holding the bag of Bartholomew's cat food.

He felt like an idiot.

No, he felt like a fool!

Michel blamed Faux for all of this and he will get revenge for what he did to him!

"Now Josette thinks I'm a creepy stalker or something!" Michel moaned in frustration, finally reaching his apartment. He kicked the door open and dragged himself inside, slamming the door behind him.

He wended into his kitchen, feeling miserable and extremely disappointed. He sat the bag of Bartholomew's cat food on to the kitchen table, sighing deeply and depressingly.

"I didn't want her to think I was a creepy stalker!" Michel complained, taking one of the canned cat foods out of the bag and setting it down, moaning and groaning. "It's all that Faux guy's fault!"

Michel sniffled, feeling extremely down and blue.

He frowned, looking around. "Bartholomew?" he called out, his voice quiet and filled with sorrow.

The cat did not come.

Michel's frown deepened and he opened the canned food. He tapped it with his nails, clicking his tongue, calling for his cat.

But still, she did not come.

"Huh," Michel muttered. "That's weird. She usually comes immediately once I start tapping the can."

Michel sat the food down and then started his search for his cat, looking all over his apartment. "Bartholomew!" he called over and over again, searching high and low for her.

Unfortunately, he did not find her.

This made Michel very upset.

"Oh my gosh, Bartholomew is missing!" he hollered crazily, frantically grabbing his phone and dialing the number to the constabulary.

To Michel, this was a very, very big emergency.

"Hello? This is the constabulary. What's your emergency?" the voice on the other end spoke, a female's voice.

"This is Michel!" Michel exclaimed.

"Uh…okay?"

"My cat, Bartholomew, has gone missing! I can't find her anywhere! She's gone! Gone! GONE!" Michel yelled frantically.

"Is that all?"

"YES! MY CAT IS GONE! YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!" Michel screamed into the phone like a maniac.

"I understand…"

"Huh?!" Michel was almost hyperventilating now. "What do you mean you understand?! You clearly don't because you don't sound like you do! MY FREAKING CAT IS MISSING AND THIS IS A VERY BIG EMERGENCY!"

"Well, sir, it really isn't."

Michel looked utterly appalled. "JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" he hollered out foully.

"The constabulary."

And, with that, the constable hung up.

Michel blinked a few times, completely dumbstruck, staring at his phone in shock and silence.

Then he dropped the phone and placed a hand over his heart, trying to steady his shaky breathing.

"I-I'm about to have a panic attack...no…no…I'm about to have a heart attack!" Michel fell to his knees, clutching at his chest and gasping crazily.

Suddenly, he caught sight of Bartholomew exiting the bathroom, strolling on into the kitchen. He could hear the sound of the toilet flushing.

Michel sprang to his feet and dashed into the kitchen, staring in shock as he watched Bartholomew gobble up the cat food on the table, meowing for some more and giving him a bored look.

"B-Bartholomew…?!" Michel stared at the cat, hesitantly taking a step towards her.

"Meow," Bartholomew deadpanned, just wanting her food now.

Michel let out a howl of joy and bounded towards her, scooping the feline up into his arms and squeezing her in a very tight hug. "Oh my sweet Bartholomew kitty cat! I thought you were missing!"

Bartholomew desperately tried to get out of his grasp, choking and trying to breathe, but Michel was too busy crushing her to see that.

"However, and wonderfully fortunately, you were only in the bathroom, which is a location I have failed to look in!" Michel declared loudly, sounding extremely relieved. He released the cat, letting her drop to the ground.

Bartholomew fell on to the ground, gasping for air.

Still, Michel failed to notice this.

"Huh. However, I do wonder what you were doing in the bathroom!" Michel said thoughtfully, putting an arm around his midsection and one hand to his chin, looking upwards. "I find it odd! But oh well!"

Bartholomew was about to walk away, but Michel grabbed her setting her down on to the table with a very big smile on his features.

"Eat as much as you like, cat!" Michel sang, reaching into the bag and pulling out another can, opening it for her.

Bartholomew gave him a dark look, but then started to eat.

Michel chuckled brightly, but then his expression immediately turned incredibly solemn.

"But…all joy is dispersed…" Michel whispered dully. "Because…Josette thinks I'm…I'm…a STALKER!" Michel slammed his head onto the table repeatedly, tears actually flying from his eyes.

Bartholomew only rolled her eyes.