School was over in South Park Elementary, and the events of that day made every single boy in the fourth grade think about their lives. In case you didn't read the first three chapters, which is stupid, Craig kissed Tweek and everyone found out about it. But then Craig was like, kissing boys is rad and now the little boys aren't sure how to handle this information.

Two particular boys made a plan to test this thing out. What were the names of these two? Why, Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski of course! They are the main characters after all. Being Super Best Friends, they both figured that kissing would do absolutely nothing to their relationship or the relationship Stan had with Wendy Testaburger. They just wouldn't tell her about it. That was a normal thing to do, right?

Without even speaking, they walked into Kyle's house and raced up to his room before Kyle's mother could greet them. Sheila Broflovski was always suspicious about basically everything that happened with Kyle, so she pulled out her phone and went on the app that showed Kyle's room. Yes, she did put a camera in there. But that was only to protect her son. She was a good mother, really, just a little overprotective.

Once the two reached Kyle's room, Stan immediately began pacing. "Oh shit, dude. Are you sure we should be doing this? I don't wanna catch the gay thing."

Kyle rolled his eyes, even though he was utterly nervous as well. "Come on, Stan. Tweek and Craig did it. We can do it to. Would you rather kiss fatass?" Stan crinkled his nose in disgust. "Didn't think so."

"Okay. We kiss. And then we never talk about it. We keep being Super Best Friends. Deal?" Stan stuck out one of his mitten-clad hands.

"Deal." They both shook on it. Then there was a moment of silence. You could even hear Ike doing his daily Satanic rituals. Deciding to just get it the hell over with, Kyle leaned in and quickly kissed Stan.

It lasted for a good twenty-two seconds, seventeen more than the kiss of Craig and Tweek. After they pulled away, they were unable to say anything beyond a tiny "woah".

Unfortunately for them, Sheila Broflovski was watching. She is also the head of the PTA and has all the numbers on speed dial. Whoops.

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Meanwhile, as Sheila was calling a mandatory PTA meeting, Satan was resting in Hell, content with his life. Well, if you could even call it that. But still, things were okay. Chris and Saddam were gone forever, and he was becoming friends with a small toddler up in South Park. Yes, things were wonderful. Except for...

"Father, father, father! We are going to take over the world after all!"

...Damien Thorn.

Sure, having a kid was great and all. Miracles of life or something. But Damien was constantly going on and on about something. Not to mention, a child died in South Park and Damien has claimed this boy as his 'Evil Bride of Darkness'. What a fucking idiot.

"Yes, Damien?" Satan took off his reading glasses, putting down his Harry Potter book. He was getting to the good part, where Hagrid puts Harry through a sexual ritual in order to obtain witchcraft, so hopefully this would be quick.

"In South Park, father! The people are going to get riled up about boys kissing and blood will be spilled all around! Then we can punish them!" Damien laughed evilly, and it was actually pretty adorable.

"I do say, it is rather chilly in here compared to the other quarters of Hell. Do you happen to have air conditioning, Mr. Satan?" A young boy named Pip Pirrup asked politely. Pip was indeed Damien's new bride of darkness, because he was the only one Damien knew and almost liked from South Park who died. Also, he came to Hell on his own accord. Because he was British.

"Quiet, wife! I am talking to father about important things! Ask me if you wish to speak!" Damien commanded, bopping Pip on the head.

"Right-o then, Damien. I apologize."

"Did I give you permission to speak, wife?" Bop.

Satan watched the two in amusement. He guessed this was how his son acted around a crush. Or whatever Pip was to Damien. Even Damien wasn't really sure.

"So, you want to go up and rule the earth, Damien?" Satan stood, looking down at the two boys.

"Yes, father! I want to be a Dark One just like you!" Damien grinned maliciously, the closest thing he had to a real smile.

"Hm. When an innocent human dies because of this, I will grant you permission to take over. Meanwhile, I'm going to send you and your wife to the surface. Once you see anything relating to the blood of an innocent person, we will rule once more!" Satan laughed evilly. Damien joined in. Pip did also, but his laugh was much too joyful to be considered evil.

"Come, wife! We shall rule the world after all this time!" Damien proclaimed, grabbing Pip's hand and running off.

"Right then! Bye, Mr. Satan!" Pip waved cheerily.

"I said no speaking!" Bop.

NOW PIP AND DAMIEN ARE HERE TO RAISE HELL. LITERALLY. *BUH DUM TSS*