Damien, who we have not visited in quite a while, was overjoyed. It was starting, it was going to happen. Once a certain little boy gets killed, and his blood spills all over the earth, he will reign this disgusting earth. It's all coming together, nothing could possibly-

"Damien! Oh, goodness, you must see this!" Pip ran into the room, again wearing a frilly pink apron. Damien had grown accustomed to the item, and demanded Pip wear it whenever they were home. Kinky, or just stupid? You decide.

"What do you want, wife? I am very busy laughing manically and looking out the window!" This was Damien's favorite pastime. God, he was fucked up.

"I know, and I do apologize, but...well, look at this!" Pip handed Damien his iPhone, where there was a message from Stan Marsh. I'm not going to put it word for word, but it was basically about how La Resistance was getting back together and to meet at a certain location and there was going to be pie and punch.

Damien was appalled. Some punks were planning to ruin the apocolypse? Why would they do that? "I'm glad you brought this to my attention, wife. You did something good for once." Pip was flipping the fuck out on the inside and a little on the outside, especially when Damien patted his head affectionately. "Now, we must stop this organization. We're going to attend this meeting, and destroy them in secret!"

"Ah, good plan, Damien! They won't suspect a thing! You're so smart," Pip swooned, like a little British schoolgirl.

"I know. Let us go destory some souls, wife!"

xxx

Kyle could not believe he was doing this. He was going to ask a person he barely knew, a person they thought was dead, to help win Stan back. God damn it. He knocked on the door of the house, and waited for him to answer.

He did, and he looked surprised. "Kyle? 'Zis is very unexpected. What eez it you want?" Christophe asked, the usual cigerette in his mouth.

"Mole, I need your help. La Resistance is back together and-"

"What?! Shit..." Christophe ran back inside, going upstairs and grabbing his favorite shovel. He ran back downstairs, where Kyle was still patiently waiting in the doorway. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Because everyone else thought you were dead?"

"Feh. God, the filthy bastard, spared me. Not planning to see zat disgusting fucker yet," Christophe paused, looking at Kyle suspiciously. "How did you find me?"

"Facebook."

"Ah."

"Listen, Mole, you need to help me. I...well...I'm in love, I think." Kyle was going to vomit, that sounded so lame.

"With Stan?"

"What? How..."

Christophe scoffed, twirling his cancer stick between his fingers. "You two homos were so obvious, it was disgusting."

Kyle couldn't even believe it. Were they really that gay together? "Anyway, some things happened. I'm not allowed to see him ever again. His girlfriend made sure of it."

"Impossible. Don't you have to speak now zat you are both in La Resistance?"

"No. Wendy sent out this thing to everyone, partnering all of us up. I mentioned you were joining, and she immediately paired you up with Stan, and me with Gregory, so I was wondering-"

"Yes," Christophe said immediately.

"Yes what?"

"I will swap partners with you."

"Uh, okay. I was going to say we work together but-"

"No. I want to be paired with Gregory. It eez important, you fucking pussy. I have a, how do you say, bone to pick with with him?"

"Oh. Well, alright. But wait until we get there to tell Wendy, alright? Is it a deal?" Kyle held out his hand.

Christophe shook it. "Deal. When eez the meeting?"

"Um...now?"

"Shit."

xxx

Craig Tucker was kind of pissed off. This camp wasn't the nice place the mayor made it out to be. It actually sucked a lot.

All of them were forced to take a class about how wrong each of them were, and they all had to write a ten page paper about how disgusting they all were. Free time was the worst, though. Gay men and women used this time to have wild orgies all over the place. Craig was actually offered a spot once. He flipped them off as a response, then proceeded to think about his boyfriend.

Had it really only been six hours? It felt like fucking months. Months without Stripe, Red Racer, and Tweek. The only three things that mattered in his life were all so far away from him. Like, five miles away. That's really far, you know.

Currently, as La Resistance was meeting up, it was dinnertime at the camp. Tonight they were having a strange red and meat mixture. Craig wasn't sure what it was, but he knew that a few people were missing and he found a ring in his. He was sitting at a table with no one else, mainly because the other gay members flirted with him. They called his deadpan expression "hot and mysterious". So, he was all alone.

That is, except when Mr. Garrison came along and sat down. "Hello, Craig. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess. I hate it here though," Craig replied, staring down at his meal.

"Yes, well, I guess it's for the children. Personally, I think it's fucking stupid, but I'm not the mayor. Oh well."

This did nothing to make Craig feel any better. "Mr Garrison?"

"Yes, Craig?"

"Why did they stamp numbers on us?" Craig lifted his blue sleeve, where a number was indeed stamped on him.

"Well, Craig, the owners of the camp think that some of us can't change, so they execute some of us. Don't worry, they go by number. I'm fifty, see? They've done one through ten today, and they'll do eleven through twenty tonight at ten. I doubt they'll do any more tomorrow."

"But...I'm eleven."

Mr. Garrison looked at the number, which was indeed eleven. "Oh, so it is. Well, enjoy the rest of your life, Craig." He stood and walked back to his original table.

Craig felt sick. It was only another hour until ten. He was going to be executed? Surely, they weren't going to kill a child, right?

Right?

xxx

Meanwhile, in Stan's tree house, the children of La Resistance were gathering to beat the shit out of some adults.

Gregory, the smug little blond fuck, was on top of a crate, addressing everybody like he was God or something. "I want each of us to be safe, so Wendy over here assigned everyone a partner. As you can see, Kyle is with me, Stan is with Christophe, Wendy is with Bebe, Butters is with Kenny, Cartman will be with Tweek, Token will be with Clyde, Pip and Damien, Powder and Red, Heidi and Annie, Bill and Fosse, Pete and Michael, Henrietta and Firkle, Nichole and Lola, Timmy and Jimmy, Dogpoo and Francis, Terrance and Douchebag. That's it, I believe."

"Wait," Kyle spoke up, earning a glare from Wendy. "Me and Christophe want to swap."

"Oh god, here we go," Stan muttered, sighing.

"What!? That's ridiculous!" Wendy fumed, stomping her foot.

"Fine. Christophe is with me, Stan is with Kyle," Gregory said calmly. Wendy huffed, but kept quiet.

"Also, do I have to be with this spazzy douchebag?" Cartman asked, poking Tweek harshly, which got a yell from him. "Why can't I be with Douchebag or something?"

"The partners are final, I'm sorry."

"God dammit!" Cartman pushed Tweek, who yelped once again. "I hate you so much, Tweek."

"Now, we need to form a plan..." Gregory turned to the chalkboard, which seemed to appear out of no where.

"Um, excuse me, Gregory? May I help? I think I have a plan in mind..." Pip said, glancing at Damien, who nodded in response.

"GAH! Me too!" Tweek got up, trembling.

"Very well. We shall formulate a plan that will free our homosexual friends. Viva la Resistance!"

"Viva la Resistance!" The children shrieked back.

Yeah so that happen. There are a lot of kids in the school, holy shit.

Can you guys believe it's been fifteen years since Craig vs. Tweek was aired? That's just scary to think about. It was the episode which sparked the most beautiful ship.

Also, think I should include song? Message me with ideas, if you can. I dig the musicals.