Title: Rebuild
Full Summary: Somewhat AU. Following Pein's Invasion and Uchiha Sasuke's return, Haruno Sakura struggles to cope as Konoha struggles to rebuild itself. The terrifying, familiar poison of yesterday's past is back. Learning how to trust again is not an easy task - especially when her life is a spin-cycle of betrayal. Bang and beat, rinse and repeat.
Pairing: SasuSaku
A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.
~J.R.R. Tolkien
Rain fell heavy in Water Country, starting with fine, light mist that fell softly toward the windows but picked up tempo and railed against the glass.
Sakura lulled into consciousness, opening her eyes to the pitter-patter of rain on the window, rolling on her side to observe the downpour. She hummed lightly, giving a good stretch, her hands skimming over the wooden floorboards as she shifted in her bedroll. The gray light that shone gently through the windows illuminated the room behind her in a soft glow, falling upon the sleeping ninja. Sakura's jade eyes caught the light and they glimmered, shading into darker green as she rolled back to observe her slumbering friends.
The rain grew louder, gushing down the gutters and drilling the roof. Still, the kunoichi and shinobi slept on, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing on the horizon. Sakura slid out of her sleeping roll quietly, running her tongue along her teeth. She grimaced, plucking her toothbrush and face soap from her pack before she crossed the room in silent strides, slipping into the cozy, beach-themed bathroom to wash up. Sakura examined her reflection in the mirror as she brushed her teeth, foam at the corners of her lips as she scrutinized herself in the shining glass. Her imperfections were erased in the soft, friendly light the lone bulb provided, but she frowned at the ends of her hair. It was getting a little long, brushing her shoulders, creeping down her back and cresting over her collarbones. She made a mental note to get haircut once she was back in Konoha. Kakashi preferred to cut his hair by kunai himself, but Sakura was adamant about it being professionally done. After that fateful match at the first chuunin exam she'd taken, Sakura refused to take anymore knives to her hair again. Her hair had had split-ends for ages, she recalled with chagrin.
Her thoughts turned more somberly to the boy that slumbered across the hall, recalling the path of his shoulders and broad chest, recreating his strong, aristocratic face and memorizing the shape of his eyes. Sakura spat toothpaste into the sink and rinsed, splashing her face with cool water as she tried not to think about him. It didn't work. She rubbed coarsely at her face with soap, remembering the ice in his eyes and the bleakness of his sharp, cutting tone. Sakura rinsed once more and patted her face dry, staring into her own eyes as she gripped the edges of the porcelain sink. She was careful not to use her chakra-enhanced strength, second nature to her now as she clenched the basin. Her gaze fell upon the shells decorating the back of the sink, darting along the grooves and curves of the clamshells and conchs. The rain fell harder, blanketing the islands in sheets, darkening the early morning skies as an indicator of what was to come.
Sakura lounged against the kitchen counter, biting into an apple lazily, propping her chin on her palm as she chewed. Kakashi sat beside her, absorbed in his battered orange book. Sakura inwardly snorted. Trust Kakashi to still be able to be engrossed in porn, no matter what the circumstance. His presence beside her was comforting, familiar. Sakura's world had been rocked to the core and turned upside down in the past several days - Kakashi's familiar habit was anchoring, like a tentative tether to reality. Not that Sakura would ever admit it aloud.
"Do you..." Sakura surprised herself by speaking her train of thought, dread coursing through her as she realized her thoughts had been spoken out loud. Damn her traitorous tongue! Sakura futilely hoped her former sensei had not heard her, but the wishful lull was shattered. Kakashi had lowered the explicit material from his visage, lone black eye attentive and fixed on her. Sakura cursed silently, wishing she'd held her tongue. She pulled her lower lip into her mouth, worrying it slightly with her teeth as Kakashi patiently waited for her to continue. Sakura sighed as she realized she had no other option but to say her thoughts aloud. "Do you think we can bring Sasuke back?" The words were hesitant, fragile, unfurling shakily from her lips as her voice sounded them. Sakura felt suddenly flighty, suppressing the urge to flee from Kakashi's intense stare. Sakura was acutely aware of her entire body - her breathing, her heartbeat, the way she leaned against the table, the way she held the apple between her fingertips. She was aware of the shuddering timbre of her voice, how her voice stuttered on Sasuke's name and the abruptness of her tone. Sakura felt transparent, as if Kakashi could suddenly see past her skin and into her heart. There was a long, agonizing pause before Kakashi finally spoke. He said the words carefully, precisely, his expression smooth and his voice like polished glass. Sakura felt as vulnerable as her namesake, delicate as the Sakura petals that had inspired a festival.
"Sasuke... Sasuke is lost. He is grieving, confused, and angry. He has the blood of many on his hands. Yet..." Kakashi gave a gentle pause, analyzing Sakura's each and every reaction. "Do you remember, in the Forest of Death? When you were attacked by Sound Nin and cut your hair?" Sakura felt confusion awash over her. She nodded ever so slightly, brow knit in confusion. Why was he bringing that up now? How was that relevant? Sakura almost laughed. She remembered that day, clear as a bell. She'd never forget the murderous rage in Sasuke's eyes, the curse mark spreading over his skin like fire. She'd never forget the helplessness she felt that day, nor the absolute fear. She remembered her first Chuunin exams with regret. If she'd told Kakashi about Sasuke's curse mark, perhaps they would've never gotten into this mess. Sakura banished her regretful memories, trying to focus on the present.
"Yes," Sakura said slowly, still trying to work out the importance of that particular memory. She rubbed her fingers over the smooth surface of the apple, frowning in slight annoyance as juice dripped onto her palm and slid stickily down her wrist. The rain fell still in heavy sheets, not showing any signs of letting up. The rain battered the windows like Sakura's thoughts against the brim of her skull, overflowing the gutters and spouts with alarming speed.
"Sasuke broke both of that ninja's arms... because he touched you. Sasuke was ready to murder that Sound Ninja because he bruised you up, because he simply touched you. Do you remember, Sakura?" Sakura shuddered at the memory. It was one she rarely liked to recall. The sickening snap of the ninja's arms had never left her mind. Kakashi's eye was intense, stone black filled with urgency, but Sakura still didn't understand. "Sasuke left because he felt he couldn't protect you or Naruto. That day, when Gaara attacked you... he hated himself for not being able to protect you, Sakura. Sasuke nearly killed a ninja because he hurt you. Do you understand now?" Kakashi's voice was imploring, his mask crinkling in an encouraging smile. Sakura fought down the tentative hope blooming in her chest. She understood, alright. But the Sasuke sleeping just a room away was vastly different than the Sasuke who'd risked his life to protect her. Sakura gave her former sensei a bitter smile, a pale reminder of her brilliant grins.
"People change, sensei," Sakura whispered, her smile jaded.
"You were one of his most precious people, Sakura. Never forget that. And I'm sure that you still are, no matter how buried it may be." Kakashi countered Sakura's bitter, loathing answer with a warm reply of his own. He ran a hand through his silver hair, looking content with his words.
"He tried to kill me numerous times, Kakashi-sensei, in case you've forgotten. I'm sure his bond with me is further than six feet under." Sakura retorted, biting into her apple with vicious force.
"Except not really," the silver-haired shinobi mused, a ghost of a wry smile on his face. Sakura just continued to look at him scathingly, her eyes cutting.
"Do explain," Sakura snapped, grinding her teeth into the bit of apple peel left in her mouth. Kakashi watched her with slight amusement, reaching a hand out to toy with the worn pages of his book.
"Every time he's attacked me, Naruto, or even you - he's never hurt one hair on your head. At least, not directly. He's never even touched you, Sakura. He incapacitated and sent chidori through the rest of us, but he's never hurt you, not once."
Sakura yanked a hand through her hair and looked away, exhaling heavily through her nose. Agitation painted over her features when she did turn her head back to face Kakashi again, refusing to meet his eye.
"He was trying to," Sakura said shortly, but deep within her she knew there was at least some validity to Kakashi's argument. Kakashi was one of the world's most powerful ninja. If he'd wanted to harm her, or kill her, she would've been dead already. "It doesn't change the fact that he's not who he used to be. He doesn't care about anyone, not even himself." She chucked the half-eaten apple into the trash, storming out the back door, tugging her black gloves on with determination. Kakashi watched Sakura go, smiling at the flurry of her pink hair as she slammed the door. He knew he'd gotten through to her; it didn't matter what she said. He knew that the emotions on her surface were a polar opposite to the real ones simmering, catching fire inside her.
"You can come out now," Kakashi intoned, flipping open his favorite book once more, leaning forward to pluck an orange out of the fruitbowl.
Sai emerged, his countenance blank as always. Lately he was more human than he'd ever been, but to Kakashi, he was still a block of wood. Sai slid into the barstool Sakura had formerly occupied, observing the silver-haired Jonin with mild interest. He folded his hands neatly in his lap and watched Kakashi's deft fingers make short work of the orange peel, popping the juicy slices into his mouth with flickering speed.
"Do you really think that?" Sai asked, his words carefully pronounced and flowing. He tilted his head quizzically, recalling the notion from a TV show he'd seen once. Kakashi's lone eye swiveled around to survey the ivory-skinned ninja, measuring, calculating. Sai simply continued to observe. Kakashi's face was well hidden by his mask, making it hard for Sai to get a read on his emotions.
"I wouldn't make up crap to make her feel better," Kakashi said flatly, making it clear to Sai that he wasn't up for discussion. He cared deeply for his two students, but beyond that, it was touch and go. Kakashi also had a bit of a soft spot for Sakura - he saw a lot of Rin in her, and he saw himself in Sasuke. He'd experienced firsthand Rin's unrequited love and affection, recalling all the times he'd rudely pushed her away. He watched history repeat itself in the last Uchiha, and he stood by and watched Sakura's heart crumble and shatter the way Rin's had, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.
"You care a lot for Naruto and Sakura," Sai observed, "but you are more open with Sakura. Is it because she is female? Do you see her in her biological identity as a caregiver?"
"What?" Kakashi replied, giving the ex-Root member a strange look. Sai procured what he hoped was a convincing smile, making sure his eyes crinkled at the corners. He'd read in one of his many books that that was what marked genuine smiles.
"Never mind," Sai chimed cheerfully, pushing gracefully away from the table. "I'm going to see if Sakura wants to train with me." Without another word he slipped noiselessly out the door, his cheerful facade never faltering. Kakashi snorted, reaching for another orange.
"He's going to get pummeled," Kakashi remarked with vicious amusement, his eye crinkling in a smirk.
Contrary to the copy-nin's prediction, Sai emerged from his fight with Sakura relatively unscathed. He rolled his shoulders back, looking pleased with himself. He hoped he'd relieved some of Sakura's frustration, taking his bruised jaw in stride as he left the clearing.
Sakura fell against the back of a scarred tree, branding evidence upon its trunk of the friendly skirmish that had transpired. She gave a wan smile, musing that while Sai was generally perceptive as a rock, sometimes he pulled through without even knowing what he was doing. She'd come out to train alone, but when Sai had shown up, asking for a friendly battle, it had helped Sakura let go of some of her tension. She thought that Sai just wanted to train, not realizing the meaning of Sai's proud smile as he left.
She pulled at a glove, slipping it off her hand as she pushed the pair into her pouch. Around her lay upturned earth and manmade fissures, and the forest looked like the portal to hell had opened within it. Sakura gazed at the destruction with a slight twinge of remorse for the trees, but it'd been good to blow off steam. She'd been needing this for a while.
With a satisfied sigh, Sakura returned to Tazuna's home, shedding pieces of gear onto her roll as she rooted around for a change of clothes and a towel, snatching her tubes of shampoo and bodywash as she went. She stepped into the light, airy bathroom, setting her clothes down upon the ornate countertop. With a crank of a chrome knob the shower powered to life, streaming rushing water down onto the tiles below. Sakura divested herself of her dirtied clothes and stepped under the powerful spray, humming in delight as the water pounded gently down upon her shoulders.
Under the cascade of hot water, Sakura had a lot of time to think. She methodically rinsed the suds out of her hair, mechanically reaching for the travel-sized tube as she lathered up again. No matter how she angled the camera, no matter how she viewed it, what Kakashi said wasn't entirely full of crap. She sighed, tilting her head back to let the water cleanse her hair, staring blankly at the white tiles before her.
Sasuke hadn't touched her once, not since the time he'd knocked her out when they were thirteen. He'd attempted to murder Naruto, he'd shot the rest of her team full of debilitating electricity, but she'd been safe where she'd stood. Sakura raked a hand through her drenched hair, cursing as it tangled and knotted, pulling painfully at her scalp. She didn't want to think about it. She didn't understand anything; she couldn't make heads or tails out of Sasuke's motives. He was as cryptic as the afterlife.
She emerged from the cocoon of warm air ten minutes later, ruffling her towel over her hair as she stepped out of the bathroom, adjusting her tanktop. Neji slipped past her into the bathroom, greeting her warmly as he walked in.
"Sakura!" Karin suddenly appeared, her hair in disarray and her chakra fluctuating. Sakura assessed the kunoichi with clinical eyes, sweeping over her front to ensure that Karin was physically alright. "It's - it's Sasuke." The redhead's voice caught on his name, ruby whorls darkening as she did so. "Something's wrong." And with that Sakura tore down the hallway, slinging her towel over her shoulder as she slid into the room. Sasuke lay upon the bed, thrashing, his head violently snapping from side to side as he moaned in anguish.
"Itachi," he sobbed, a broken syllable that seemed to make time stop. Sakura froze, her heart breaking at the agonizing expression on Sasuke's face. It was so twisted in grief that Sakura forgot all about the cold, heartless man he appeared to be now. She rushed forward, breaking from the spell, her hands soothing his demons away. She stroked his cheeks, warm chakra flooding through her touch as she eased Sasuke out of his frantic spell, brushing the tears on his cheeks away with bewilderment. Sakura pulled away once Sasuke quieted, the nightmare finished. She stared down at her wet hands, testament to Sasuke's grief in the droplets on her fingertips. She looked up, confused and frustrated. Karin slid into her peripheral vision, looking more and more like a flight risk.
"Is he... okay?" The question was grating, hesitant. Sakura understood. She simply nodded, slowly wiping the heels of her palms on her pants, the muscle of her jaw jumping as she looked back up.
"He's fine. Did he ever have nightmares when you were a team?" Sakura asked.
"No, not really - not that I know of, anyway. He didn't sleep next to us. He kept his distance; he never slept near camp." Karin fell silent, taking her leave when Sakura didn't respond.
Sakura sat with Sasuke for a while, simply thinking, observing. He was broken, more than she realized. Like puzzle pieces falling neatly into place, Sakura saw beneath his frigid exterior. Sasuke was scared, hurt, and the problem wasn't that he was uncaring - he simply cared too much. He did all of what he did because he loved his family, and after he learned about the truth of the Uchiha Massacre, he'd done what he did because he loved his brother. Sakura exhaled sharply and lowered her head into her hands, her gaze skittering across the natural wooden floor.
She knew that they couldn't force Sasuke to stay with them once they got back to Konoha. They couldn't wrestle him into living in the village again, they couldn't strap him down under the Konoha banner and force him to fight in its name. Even if they managed to subdue Sasuke and keep him in the village, he would never be loyal. He would hate it with reckless abandon; he would never grow to love it again if he didn't want to. Sakura knew that all the odds were stacked against them. Sasuke hated the village violently, and he didn't want to go back. They wouldn't be able to force him to stay, but Sakura didn't know if she and Naruto could let him go, either. They were willing to follow him to the ends of the earth, but they had obligations to their village, and if Sasuke didn't want them with him then they couldn't follow. Sakura let out a ragged breath, her eyes greedily drinking in Sasuke's image beside her.
She didn't want to know what he'd become in his absence, either. She'd heard terrible stories, she'd been privy to his lashing, scathing words and had heard about the numerous atrocities he'd committed. Sakura hated every minute they stayed in Water Country - she hated sitting around like lame ducks. The tension in the air was unbearable, especially among her peers. Sasuke was volatile, unpredictable, and more trouble than he was worth to the majority of the Konoha ninja.
"Sakura?" Hinata's soft voice broke Sakura from her reverie, her long, dark hair spilling over her shoulder as she leaned into the room. Sakura unfolded her legs from beneath her and stood, moving towards the pale-skinned girl in the doorway. "Tsunade-sama sent a message for you," she explained, holding out a thin roll of parchment.
"Thanks, Hinata," Sakura hummed absentmindedly, pulling at the sealing ribbon wrapped tight around the missive. The paper crinkled as she unrolled the message, her eyes skimming over the neat characters, her mouth quirking at the drop of liquor on the edge of the paper. She looked up to meet the Hyuuga heiress's eyes when she finished. "We leave in the morning. The Council's planning something. There's a new hit out on Sasuke; we need to get him back to Konoha ASAP." With that she left the room in a swirl of pink, grabbing onto her dormant link with Naruto and giving it a sharp tug. He flooded her mind immediately, as she did his.
'Grab everyone. Emergency meeting, stat.' With that Sakura abruptly severed the connection, tamping down the flood of concern Naruto had ignited within her. Sometimes their blood-bond hindered more than helped.