Title: Rebuild
Full Summary: Somewhat AU. Following Pein's Invasion and Uchiha Sasuke's return, Haruno Sakura struggles to cope as Konoha struggles to rebuild itself. The terrifying, familiar poison of yesterday's past is back. Learning how to trust again is not an easy task - especially when her life is a spin-cycle of betrayal. Bang and beat, rinse and repeat.
Pairing: SasuSaku
Inspiration: Dark Side Of Me - Coheed and Cambria
I gave my everything, for all the wrong things.
In this cold reality I made this selfish war machine.
Oh, this has become hell, how can I share this life with someone else?
There is no weight that can bury us beneath the ghosts of all my guilt.
Here, in the dark side of me.
~Coheed and Cambria
Naruto stared up at the boat with trepidation, nervously eyeing the way it rocked from side to side, even docked. Lightning flashed distantly and the wind howled, kicking up speed as it raced across the water. A deadly storm brewed on the horizon, and Naruto gulped. They were headed straight into the tempest, and Mist was notorious for its fearsome typhoons. Many lives had been claimed by the churning ocean; both veteran sailors and unskilled men had met their watery ends in the thrashing depths.
They needed to get back to Konoha as swiftly as they could, however, and there was one crew crazy enough to brave the storm. The ship was a beast in size, sporting thick metal that rose high over the top of the water, a streamline of tapered steel at the prow. The ship was dark in color and looked like it could tackle any wave it encountered, which lessened Naruto's anxiety. He turned to look at Sakura automatically, meeting her gaze as if he'd been expecting it. Sasuke observed the interaction between his former teammates, scrutinizing their relationship, trying to find any dents or holes he could take advantage of. He surveyed the entire squad analytically, looking for weaknesses, holes he could jump through when no one was looking. Sasuke wished he had chakra - he would've been able to escape the minute he'd woken. He scowled darkly, thinking of the wide seal stuck on his skin, divesting him of his chakra. Surely they knew they couldn't bind him like this forever. He'd find a way to escape, some way to break the seal. Sasuke watched as Naruto and Sakura spun on their heels, thanking Tazuna for his hospitality in tandem. Another look was exchanged between them and they turned again, searching the ship with eager eyes. Sasuke observed silently, somewhat surprised at how close they'd grown. Back when Sasuke had still been a loyal citizen to Konoha, Sakura had disliked Naruto with every fiber of her being. She'd find excuses and ways to ditch him every time they were alone together; she'd hit him constantly and berate him at every chance she got.
"Why can't we leave when the storm is over?" Naruto whined, the pitch of his voice grating on Sasuke's ears.
"You know why," Sakura said crossly, rolling her eyes skyward. "We'll be fine, Naruto. We can walk on water if we need to. Besides, we've missed enough already. I don't want to know how tall my pile of paperwork is," she shuddered, thinking of Tsunade's sadistic smile. "Don't even think about taking me drinking when we get back. I bet Tsunade's buried my office six feet under in paperwork by now."
"Tsunade never does paperwork sober," Naruto argued, "besides, you're the best player we've got. We won't win any ryo!"
"Oh, the horror," Sakura mocked, rolling her eyes once more. She almost forgot the surly Uchiha lingering behind them, simmering in unfettered rage and resentment. "It's not like you don't have enough money already," Sakura chastised. Tsunade had passed on all of her infamous traits down to Sakura but gambling.
"Fine," Naruto grumbled, but his tone was lighthearted. Sakura smiled and gave Naruto a half-hearted punch on the shoulder, packing no power behind it.
"Never change, Naruto," Sakura said suddenly, her smile a bit wistful as she stared at the exaggerated pout on his face. Naruto laughed and slung an arm around his teammate's shoulders, pressing a kiss into her hair. He let Sakura go and loped off to find Hinata, his hands in his pockets and a spring in his step. Sakura suddenly felt Sasuke's eyes on her back, burning, branding. She refused to turn, unwilling to acknowledge the surly renegade behind her. So she stepped forward, up toward the ship, walking up the metal ramp as the sea churned beneath her.
Sasuke viciously longed to jump into the water, but even as he walked up the ramp he knew it would be too dangerous. His wrists were bound for the journey - the crew aboard the ship refused to let him on without them - and he didn't have enough chakra for sufficient water-walking. The risk of drowning was too great, and when and if the shinobi caught him, he wouldn't get another chance at escape. Sasuke's lips curled into a sneer, glancing scathingly at the Konoha ninja, longing for his chakra. He leaned against the prow of the ship, wind tousling his unkempt hair. His hands fisted over the railing, knuckles bleaching white as he stared at the white-capped waves in the distance. The wind kicked up spray across the rough water, and as Sasuke looked above them, the sky threatened to split into a furious storm.
Sasuke's eyes didn't hurt anymore. His back felt better than ever as well; the muscles didn't pull when he stretched anymore, nor did he have the residual aching he was used to. Sasuke's mind flashed back to Naruto's heated words about the healing Sakura had done for him, and he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, scanning his gaze across the churning water. Remorse did not fill him, but he couldn't explain the tight feeling in his throat. His vision was better than ever, his eyes pain-free. He'd been used to the constant, dull ache, but his eyes gave him no trouble now. Sasuke felt physically weak still, not fully recovered from his poor diet of weeks' past. Sasuke was torn out of his reverie by Sai's quiet approach.
"Sasuke," Sai said, and Sasuke couldn't parse the tone of his voice. It was emotionless, dispassionate, unlike the fervent snarl Sai had procured earlier. "I meant what I said. If you touch one hair on either of their heads, I will kill you." The look Sai fixed Sasuke with almost made him feel like prey. Those cold black eyes were deadly and promising, and Sasuke knew that the man before him was a skilled hunter. Sasuke didn't feel intimidated, however. Contempt washed over Sasuke and he simply looked the pale artist back in the eyes, a condescending sneer lurking at the edge of his lip.
There was a sudden, loud laugh, cutting through the tension between Sai and Sasuke. Neither looked away, but another burst of laughter rent the air and Sai broke away, slipping away toward the starboard. Sasuke looked across the way to see who'd been laughing, and his eyes caught on Sakura, her head tossed back in another chime of laughter, mirth written across her features. Disdain filled Sasuke at the sight, his lip curling slightly. He jerked his eyes away from the disgusting sight and turned back out toward the water, his jaw clenched in anger.
Sakura, in turn, glanced at Sasuke the minute he spun away, caught on the span of his tense shoulders. Sakura felt a familiar clench in her abdomen, her heart soaring to her throat as she stared at the proud line of Sasuke's back. Nervous butterflies filled her stomach, and for a moment she felt weightless. Seeing Sasuke sent a thrill through her body, as if she were dreaming and afraid to wake up. At the same time, Sakura's mouth filled with a sour taste she couldn't place. Bitterness burned down her throat like vodka, cleaving through the butterflies in her stomach. She felt anger curl lazily in the pit of her stomach, a low thrum of warm lava moving sluggishly through her veins. Disgust filled Sakura then, bile rising in her throat at the splotch of crimson at the top of Sasuke's shirt. Sasuke's hair half-covered the fan, the too-long ends scraping past the edge of the crest. The sight of the Uchiwa fan made Sakura nauseated. Betrayal roiled inside her, burning, like fingers brushed against a red-hot stovetop. Sakura looked away, wetting her lips, turning her face into the ocean spray.
Sasuke's chains rattled, clinking against each other noisily, and he studied them mutinously. His eyes caught on several rusting links, the heavy iron beginning to chafe his wrists. Not that he would ever complain. He turned his murderous glare from the metal around his wrists to the pregnant sky, mist in his mouth. The clouds were heavy and swollen, belying a frightening storm ahead. The boat rocked against the sea, cleaving effortlessly through water.
"The crew wants us inside," announced a voice at Sasuke's back. Sasuke turned, fixing a cold stare upon the male speaker before him. Neji appeared undaunted, his mouth slanted in a severe line. "Now." Neji's voice brooked no argument, cold and commanding. Sasuke gritted his teeth against the order, but there was no point in resisting. Sasuke pushed away from the cold railing and fisted his icy hands, discreetly rubbing warmth back into them as he followed the Hyuuga's proud back below the deck.
A large table filled with loyal Konoha shinobi from end to end greeted them, their forehead protectors glinting in the dim light, a wash of leaf symbols winking mockingly at Sasuke as he stepped in. Sasuke thought of his own hitai-ate, the symbol slashed through by Naruto's kunai, the blue cloth bloodstained and frayed. He wondered if it lay buried deep in the riverbed, hidden below the thick mud. Sasuke didn't know it was kept cleaned and polished in Naruto's bedside table, concealed beneath a false bottom for safekeeping.
The ninja inside greeted Neji warmly as the man stepped in, but as Sasuke entered behind him they fell silent. Several of them stared at Sasuke mutinously, their eyes hard and punishing. The tiniest smirk graced Sasuke's lips at their hatred. Her surmised they were only here for Naruto and Sakura. Good. Some of them had already realized that Sasuke's return to Konoha would merely be temporary. Neji sank into an empty seat beside his team, melding in with the rest of the leaf ninja, and Sasuke felt bile rise to the back of his throat. The symbol of Konoha all hung on them in one way or another, clinging to them like a disgusting disease. Foreheads, arms, belts, tied around necks. Sasuke felt faintly sick, staring at their blind devotion to a village they knew nothing about. He wasn't sure if it was disgust or seasickness that wracked him now. Old hatred rose inside him, easily taking flame, licking at his burnt heart with fresh fire.
Unsurprisingly, it was Naruto who broke the silence, giving Sasuke an easy smile, the edges fraying with unease, but Sasuke didn't notice the latter. Naruto gesticulated to the open seat at his right, Kakashi providing as a buffer to the seat's right. Sasuke felt disdain rise inside him like a tsunami, but he stepped forward anyway, the chains around his wrists clanking together too loudly in the disquieting silence. It wasn't like there was anywhere else to go. Sasuke noticed Sakura and Sai across the table, their heads bent together, silently whispering. Sai's mouth was close to Sakura's ear, his mouth moving rapidly. His lips were in too much shadow to read, but Sakura nodded her head minutely, rapidly, her eyes darting back and forth as she processed his words. Sasuke stiffly took the seat, the smirk gone from his face, lips pressed into a thin line, eyes flinty. A startled laugh suddenly erupted from Sakura's mouth, as if it had been wrenched unknowingly from her lungs, and she looked briefly surprised. She cut off the swift bark of laughter, biting down on her smile, the corners of her lips quivering with reluctant amusement. Sai ceased his quiet conversation with Sakura and withdrew, meeting Sasuke's eyes evenly over the table. There was no emotion there, simply bland observation. Sasuke was not intimidated, and if his chakra hadn't been bound, he would've met that blank stare with ruby red whorls.
Sasuke sat in seething silence, his expression stormy, eyes flickering like lightning. His back was straight and painfully proud, his manacled hands in his lap, the metal links pooled together between his legs. He chanced a glance down the table, flicking past several stony shinobi, as conversation slowly started up again. He felt like a caged tiger, his mind pacing uneasily behind the bars, itching with stillness. Sitting placidly rubbed at Sasuke the wrong way, every fiber of his being straining for a fight, yearning to split open skin beneath his knuckles, hungry for battle. Impulsive anger warred with Sasuke's patience, wearing him thin as he listened to the chime of laughter across the table, assaulted with the easy, calm voices at his right. Sasuke focused his gaze on the table, absentmindedly following the path of woodgrain in lazy swirls down over the worn edges of the table. Naruto spoke animatedly with Hinata at his left, gesturing wildly, and Sasuke noted that his over-exuberance hadn't dulled any over the years. How unfortunate. Kakashi remained silent beside him, nose-deep in a tattered, dog-eared bright orange book, the title nearly too faded to read. Sasuke continued his scan down the table, mostly out of boredom, before he spotted Karin and Suigetsu perched at the ends, flight risks ready to take off. They'd dropped any pretense of bravery, and Sasuke felt a dark, vicious sense of satisfaction curl lazily in his gut. He remembered the vivid, searing fear painted in Karin's eyes as he'd thrusted his fist through her chest like it was yesterday, and a sadistic smirk twisted his lips. Karin looked vulnerable, hunched over the table, her arms wrapped protectively around her middle, her hair falling into her face. Her face was pale and drawn, the line of her mouth severe, curving into her body as if she wanted to disappear. Cruel satisfaction shot straight to the marrow of Sasuke's bones, wickedness tangling and unfurling inside him, and he felt a dark, dirty kind of good. Fear was delicious.
Sakura caught Sasuke's gaze, simply observing, calculating. She wondered just how far he'd fallen. Sasuke was dangerously, precariously out of reach, and Sakura wondered at his physical addiction. He was too thin, pale and sallow, a twinge unhealthy. The hollowness of his body matched his soul; doubt tore through Sakura like bullet holes. Sasuke was so far gone, so lost, so mangled and twisted. She saw it in the lilt of his wicked smile, the haunted, dark, glassy look in his eyes. It lay in his veins, too, prominent in his drug addiction, the insides of his body scarred by constant drug use. Orochimaru had kept Sasuke pumped full with a dangerous cocktail of chemicals, and Sakura was unsure of how addicted Sasuke had become. But he was here, with them, albeit by force, and he was here to stay - at least, for the moment. Sakura didn't want to think about the future. He was physically healing, and that was enough for her. She'd take all she could get.
Thirty minutes later and Sasuke was in a foul, terrible mood. He itched for something, he didn't know what, and he fidgeted restlessly. Food began to emerge from the gallery, brought forth by a tough-looking cook, scars roping down his arms, his chest broad and body packed with muscle. Sasuke glared darkly down at his meal, feeling jittery, unable to concentrate completely. Sasuke stabbed irritably at the meat on his plate, his mouth dry and a light headache coming on. As the course of the meal went on, Sasuke's heart suddenly picked up in rhythm, anxiety building inside him, breaking out in a light sweat. He continued to place food in his mouth, but he disengaged from reality, having extreme difficulty concentrating, chills overtaking his body. He resisted the tremors, unsure of the sudden physical sickness. His eyes felt fine, and so did his other muscles. Sasuke nearly winced; his heart was surely beating too fast, but why? No one around him noticed but Sakura, her eyes tight on him, hawklike in focus. As Sasuke grew nauseous, Sakura stood in a rush of movement, having noticed the telltale signs of withdrawal. She was across the table in seconds, allowing Sasuke to retain his dignity as she spoke.
"We need to talk," Sakura covered fluidly, her eyes hard, her tone commanding. Sasuke sneered hatefully at her, but a rush of nausea wiped the look from his face. "Now," Sakura snapped, ignoring the looks everyone gave her. She leaned forward, her hair covering her face to obscure her lips as she darted closer to Sasuke under the pretense of shifting her weight. "You're not fooling me, get up now," Sakura hissed into Sasuke's ear, and as Sasuke's stomach lurched he stood, making sure not to move too quickly, Sakura at his heels. Once they were out of the gallery, Sakura took the lead, pushing Sasuke down the hallway and sharply into a bathroom, opening the door with chakra threads as she ushered Sasuke through it. Sasuke felt too sick to make a rebuttal, or snarl at her, and he dropped to his knees before the toilet, vomiting into the water. Sasuke's pride whirled down the toilet along with the rest of the contents of his meal, but as he turned to Sakura, a defensive, vicious snarl on his face, he noted too late that there was no judgment there.
"You're pathetic," Sasuke spat, but his knees were weak and he felt shaky. Sakura lounged against the wall, turning the lock on the bathroom door, not giving any sign she'd heard him. Sasuke watched her like a wounded animal, but Sakura gave his cruel words no heed. Too long she'd dealt with drug-abusing patients; they all acted the same. Just because it was Sasuke didn't make his words more harmful. Hospital work had given Sakura a thick skin, and she simply watched him, unamused, bored.
"You could say thanks," Sakura said, studying her nails with slight interest, rubbing at some dirt under a fingernail. She wondered where the sudden armor had come from, shielding her vulnerable heart from Sasuke's poisonous claws, but she wasn't going to question it. "Are you done?" Sakura asked callously, and Sasuke knew she meant his attitude, not his physical wellbeing.
"You're - " but another surge of rejected food interrupted Sasuke's sentence, and he turned to face the toilet once more. He heaved and spat into the water, shivering lightly, and Sakura noted the sheen of sweat on his skin. "Don't think I give a shit about you," Sasuke spat, "you're spineless and worthless. I wish I'd killed you back in Sound." Sakura absorbed the words, but to her own surprise she felt no reaction. The words tugged ever so slightly at her heart, but they mostly bounced off. Sakura wondered if it was her medical reflexes kicking in. Sasuke was too much like the rest of the drug-addled patients Sakura had treated, and they'd said far worse. Sakura was too used to being insulted now, too experienced, too seasoned. Just because it was Sasuke didn't mean he broke down all her walls with a few choice words. Besides, it was him hunched over the toilet, accepting Sakura's support, and that was enough.
"When was the last time you used?" Sakura asked, no inflection in her voice, waiting patiently for Sasuke's response. She waited as he retched again, but there was nothing left to throw up. Sasuke remained mutinously silent, standing, refusing to let Sakura see how shaky and weak he felt. "For God's sake," Sakura snapped, and she rolled her eyes as she stepped forward. She caught Sasuke's elbow and hauled him over to the sink, and withdrew her touch immediately. "I am a Medic at Konoha Hospital. I've seen too many people like you, scores of people much worse than you are now. Swallow your pride or I will force it down your throat. I don't give a shit about your ego, all I care about is your life." Sasuke sneered at Sakura in response, venomous, rage bubbling inside him. But he felt too weak to hit her, to wrap his hands around her delicate throat, and the unfamiliar weights at his wrists made it impossible. "How do you feel?" Sakura asked, and when Sasuke refused to answer her she repeated the question, undaunted, patient.
"Do you think you can save me, Sakura?" Sasuke jeered, his tone disparaging, full of nothing but contempt. Sakura remained silent, not rising to Sasuke's bait, settling instead to stare at him quietly. "Do you think I'll change, for you?" Sasuke sneered, his eyes flitting over her with derision. "Do you want me to fall in love with you, Sakura?" he crooned, deliberately drawing out the length of her name, taunting, clutching the edges of the sink with white-knuckled hands, his eyes dark in the mirror as he peered at her through the reflection. Sakura had long become a master of schooling away her expressions, filing them away before they even appeared on her face, and she didn't slip up. She simply stared back at Sasuke through the grubby mirror, waiting. Sakura waited until Sasuke's snarl fell from his face; she waited until the disdain crumbled from him like castles made out of sand.
Sakura wanted; she wanted him so badly she felt like the longing would rip out of her chest with its dark, feathery wings and smother everything around her. But she wasn't a fool. So she quelled the bitterness, stemmed the emotional lust aching in her chest. Instead she focused on observation, noting the sweat sliding from Sasuke's forehead into his hair, watching the repressed shivers he suppressed in his spine. Sakura blinked, her eyes fastened on the Uchiha symbol, counting the individual threads until Sasuke turned off the tap. Sasuke reached for the off-white towel, sliding it from the ring and rubbing it roughly over his face.
"You're still going through withdrawal," Sakura said as Sasuke pulled the dampened towel from his face, haphazardly slotting it back through the ring. "You didn't do a very good job of weaning yourself off them," she stated coolly, meeting his eyes levelly, internally wondrous at her sudden courage. It flowed through her, filling the cracks in the walls of her soul, plugging up the insecurities. She always was most confident in what she did best - healing. Sakura had truly found herself in the Medical Profession, and now it was shining through. "I gave you anesthetics while I operated on you, that's why you haven't felt the withdrawal until now. So, I ask again - how often did you use? How much? When?" Sasuke ignored Sakura, but she merely gave him a humorless smile before pressing him again. "In severe withdrawals, the repercussions can often end in seizures, strokes, or heart attacks. Did you cut cold turkey?" Sakura bored her eyes into Sasuke's, refusing to crack. Sasuke stared back, his stare cutting and cold, waiting for Sakura to look away or falter. When it became clear that she would do neither of these things, he shook his head infinitesimally, and Sakura nearly smirked in satisfaction. "I will give you painkillers until we get back to Konoha, where I will run a chemical test on your blood. I will be able to wean you off the drugs properly once we do. Until then, I will supply you with painkillers so you do not experience the withdrawal symptoms that you have right now. Are we clear?" Sakura asked.
"Hn," Sasuke grunted, and Sakura took that as victory. She reached out with slow, purposeful fingers, and Sasuke captured them in his vice-like grip, the metal at his wrists clanking together and sliding several centimeters down his skin. Sakura didn't flinch, breaking his hold easily, and Sasuke stared mulishly into her eyes as she lightly touched his forehead. Sakura flowed chakra through her fingers and dulled Sasuke's pounding headache, stepping back from him as her hand fell from his forehead, turning around briskly, walking back to the gallery. They said nothing to each other. Sasuke longed to wrap his fingers around Sakura's throat; longed to strangle her with the iron chain linking his wrists together, until her pale skin turned blue-black and until the life faded from her eyes. But he did none of those things, simply watched Sakura with brooding, wicked eyes, silently plotting. Sasuke would tear her apart eventually. He would ruin her life and Naruto's like Konoha had ruined his. He would besmirch them all with his misery; he would paint the town of Konoha red. Sasuke would destroy them, and he would do it slowly. He'd kill them before they realized they were already dead.