MERLIN - CONTACT
AN: Right! Hellooooo. How ya doing? Thank you for your patience, yes, this is the next chapter. I'd like to first thank you all for adding my story to your follows page and favourites, and reviewing it (even for 'Merlin - The Dragon Calls'). Secondly, about this chapter, it is split into sections so it should be quite descriptive and interesting for ya. And thirdly, I apologise if I've made any mistakes on spelling or grammar in this, I hope there isn't coz I read through it 3 times :P So onwards! Enjoy!
...~~C~~...
No-one came to Billy's aid, as he walked round the outskirts of the field on his own, holding his head up to the sky and gripping a rag to his nose. Too right!
Though no-one in the village stepped in to help Merlin either, they mutually didn't agree with anything Wood had gone on about. Ealdor had changed a lot since she first left. It was mainly the same generation that picked on Merlin, not the elders. And now they had all grown up, only the vile, bitter bullies still held onto all the childish teasing and taunts, like Billy and his brother.
The people stayed round the fire, definitely not talking amongst themselves about what the prince had done. Not as long as Hunith was joining in the conversations.
Said prince was now awkwardly adding the last of the logs he'd chopped to the bonfire, including the one he'd used as a useful weasel clubber. Not really seeing it as blessing now.
His eyes followed the sparks that were forced upwards into the air above the field and got carried off with the evening breeze.
Movement caught his attention to his left, and he turned to see Merlin closely passing him by, her shoulder just brushing his arm. She didn't look back, but the message was clear. Follow me.
...~~C~~...
When they were a good distance away from the others, Merlin's pace slowed to a halt and she slouched heavily against the side of a hut that was falling apart. Even when Arthur caught up and stopped feet away from her, the servant didn't raise her head or turn to him. The light haired girl settled for letting the crumbling stone wall bare her tired body, and her gaze glued to the ground. To Arthur, she thought, she could just look like she was exhausted after a long day's work of preparing for the celebrations. But he would read it in her face if he saw it that that wasn't the only thing that was making her so tired.
Since when had it come to this? The great and powerful Emrys, spoken of and written about since long before her birth. Outdone by a weak and fragile shell. Damaged by the earth's harsh weathers and diseases. Too easily brought down by physical and emotional trials that any normal person would have probably gone insane or suicidal over years ago.
Rushing around and carrying loads all day, worrying about her mother, keeping a professional relationship with the prince of Camelot, saving him and the kingdom every week, hiding her magic from the king, and now having her cold and lonely past come back to haunt her. The stress was all taking its toll on her in the forms of depression and illness. The great Emrys is a sham.
The more they big you up, the more disappointed you become with yourself for not being what they expect of you.
She bet they thought they were going to see a giant of a man with a booming inspirational voice, and an aura that shone brighter than the sun, and would be both feared and revered wherever he showed up.
Instead they get a small, unimpressive stick of a girl that likes to dress in breeches, and a presence so weak, many groups of druids hadn't even realised she'd been in the world for enough years that at least rumours should spread.
Sure they talk to her through her mind, urging her on. They show encouragement in her quests. And the occasional one has decided that it was taking too long so they joined the evil side and tried to kill her a number of times. But Merlin knew what they really thought. One look at her, from any magic user, and they're thinking 'Is this it? She's the one? The prophecy lies. Camelot and magic are doomed. God help us'.
And that was before Arthur knew of her magic. The young sorceress didn't really know if him knowing what she really is was now a relief or an even bigger burden. He excepted her, yes. But that made things even more complicated now. Not just the fact that she'd made a liar out of Arthur, but it sometime put a huge strain on their friendship. When he first found out, of course he was hurt. Of course he was angry. Of course he felt betrayed and fooled and stupid. The maidservant went weeks without sleep, thinking any night Arthur would talk himself into finally reporting her to his father. Though guards never came to her door, there was an awfully strong sense of tension in Arthur's chambers every day that couldn't even be sliced with a sword.
"If I arrested you right now and sentenced you to burn at the stake, what would you do?"
"I would do nothing, I wouldn't even fight. Because you're always right, aren't you? What you say goes. I am a dangerous creature, Arthur. A monster. So treat me like one. Just don't leave us in a void."
Arthur had made her promise never to use her magic, whether in his presence or not. That put a major further strain on the young warlock's body. Like she had a roaring fire burning her from the inside. The cold and distant treatment from her once best friend was the worst. She hated what was happening to them. When she finally had to say something to the prince, she asked what he was waiting for. What was her punishment to be? It couldn't carry on like it was. He replied saying he would let her live, and she would continue to live and work in Camelot. But the small print she heard in his words was that her freedom was gone forever.
Days afterwards, Merlin couldn't take it anymore and went to the prince with packed bags in her hands and a cloak on her shoulders. He told her he'd said she wasn't banished. She smiled sadly.
"Things can't carry on like this," she had said. "You are keeping me here either because you don't trust me to bring down Camelot in revenge to being exiled, or that you just haven't decided if you could really turn me in. I'm deciding for you. I'm banishing myself. I need time to find myself again anyway."
Arthur didn't know how to react. He remained calm on the outside, but inside he was hurt and angry. He felt guilty that he had driven Merlin to leave because he wouldn't let her be herself, or be executed? Was that what she had been waiting for... For the axe to fall?
After trying to convince her to stay, he realised he couldn't stop her. To deny her right to leave the kingdom was unjust, and to do so formally, Arthur would have had to officially arrest her for sorcery, resulting in her death.
He had watched her in sorrow through his window, as she rode away with Gwaine for what he felt would be the last time, the last he'd see of her. He had though, discreetly, asked Gwaine to keep in touch with him for Merlin's sake. What he regretted most was not giving her a hug goodbye.
Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Months, thankfully, didn't turn to years, though it felt like it. The letters from Gwaine stopped coming which worried the prince greatly. Either Merlin had discovered what they were doing, or something horrible had happened to them. His relief did not come, when a few days later, Gwaine arrived back in the city. By himself.
...~~C~~...
The sorceress and her friend, however, were alright. Merlin had discovered that Gwaine had been sending words back to Arthur on their journey. How dare he betray her like that? Arthur didn't really let her go because he trusted and respected her decision. He was spying on her through Gwaine! And the knight agreed! Enraged by this, Merlin demanded that Gwaine go home, or she would make him.
"You were never here for me in the first place! You only came along because that prat told you to keep tabs on me! He thinks I went away to plot against him, doesn't he? How much does he know?!"
"I promise, Merlin, I never told him our whereabouts in any of the letters. I only assured him we were safe! He trusts you, he just wanted to know how we were, Merlin!" He protested as Merlin's magic had him pinned hard against a tree.
"You liar! Damn you, Gwaine! Get out of here! Go home, I don't want you here anymore!"
It was a few days after Gwaine left her, and Merlin missed him. The anger wore off and she knew deep down he was her friend, and Arthur was just being his nosy protective self. She forgave them, but she still didn't go back. She stayed with druids who helped her with her magic and her health. Call it a retreat.
When the sorceress did return to Camelot, it felt different. It felt both like she had been away for a decade and like she had never been away at all. Hair longer, nature more mature and serious, and stronger magic coursing through her veins. Power she had to once again hold in for goodness knows how long. Arthur apologised, and things returned to normal... well as normal as it could be with a prince knowing his servant was more powerful than he was after 20 years of fighting with a sword. As normal as it could be that, along with Merlin's arrival back in Camelot, also came a strong yearning to never let her leave again. A rapid pulsing sensation in the prince's chest that reacted every time he entertained the idea.
A nagging thought in his head, making him want to make up for all the time they lost in eachother's company. A new-found stage in their relationship he hadn't figured out yet.
No matter how many times the prince tells her its okay she will never fully believe it. She still can't use her magic, not enough to satisfy her. She's still forced to see innocent people, proven magic users or no, be burnt, hanged or beheaded.
Merlin decided that she wished Arthur never knew at all.
...~~C~~...
Returning back to the present, said man still waiting patiently behind her, Merlin finally pushed her weight off the wall, stood up straight and turned to face him, head still down.
She spoke in a soft, low yet edgy voice.
"I, um, I wanted to thank you for stepping in. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't. Well, I do, but it's barely worth worrying about now because it didn't. You didn't have to though, I mean-"
"What are you talking about, Merlin, you know I wouldn't have just stood there listening to him saying all those things until you broke his neck with some unseen force. If we didn't know how the village would react to it, I would have happily let you do it."
Merlin smiled and raised her head.
"I'm sure you're ashamed of me..."
Arthur frowned. "Why would I be?"
"I don't think you heard all of what he said, Arthur."
"I heard enough."
Merlin's smile faded into a scowl this time. "He's right though. What Billy said. I was getting angry because all of what he was saying is true."
"How can you think th-"
"Don't you get it, I'm the village freak!" Merlin through her arms in the air. "A mistake! A joke! Everywhere has one. I have no father, yet I am here. What impression does that give?! I hated the girls because all they were interested in was braiding eachother's hair and giggling over boys and gossiping about whose parents had paired them off with who. I hated the boys because they always wanted to fight eachother or get filthy or talk nastily about everyone else.
"I wore breeches, I kept near my mother. I was the butt of all the other children's verbal and sometimes even practical jokes. One Winter, I nearly drowned in an iced over river because some of them mislead me and left me in the forest at night. Thank the gods the elder villagers heard my cries! Though no punishment came to Billy and his friends. Surprise, surprise!"
Tears began to fill Merlin's vision. "But the thing that hurt the most, was hearing Wood talk about Will that way!" The blonde girl subconsciously pointed in the vague direction of the Vile, immature boy.
"He was ten times the man any of them are, put together. He was just like me. An outcast. We met when Billy's brother and his little group were bullying me. They said terrible things to me even back then. And just like earlier, my magic wanted to teach them a lesson. Will came along and stood up to them. Yes, they still beat him, but it was the gesture that counted. I took him home and introduced him to mother without knowing that she already knew him," Merlin huffed out a laugh between blinking the salty water out her eyes. "We were best friends from that day onward.
"He found out about my magic a few years after. At first I thought he hadn't seen me use it, but he came to me and told me he had, and that he thought it was brilliant. It felt so good to hear someone say that, to have my friend know me for me.
Merlin took in a breath. "And then," she sniffed, "-and then his final act of bravery cost him his life. That's what kind of boy he was! Never thinking of the consequences until it was too late. He was my friend! My only friend, he wouldn't have sacrificed himself just so he made a point... wouldn't he?"
Merlin starting crying into her hands when the tears just wouldn't stop falling. Arthur, who had listened to every word she said, edged awkwardly toward the weeping girl, not really knowing if what he was about to do was a right move.
Slowly bringing his arms round her form to rest on her back, he gently pulled her towards his chest which she submitted to completely. As the prince's arms wrapped tighter around her, the maidservant took her hands away from her face and instead gripped the cloth cladding her master's chest, and turned her face into his neck, continuing to sob. Arthur closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of Merlin's head, her soft hair tickling his jaw.
"He would never have done that," he whispered. "He did it because he believed in you."
They stayed like that for some time. For the time it took for the bonfire in the background to die down to half its size, for the first few villagers to break away from the crowd to return home.
The deep blue blanket of night was slipping over Ealdor to the point where they could, if they opened their eyes, see their breath in the air in front of them. But both prince and servant were keeping eachother warm. They weren't in a hurry to move. Even when Merlin's weeping eased off and her breathing evened out, neither of them made to pull away.
They enjoyed the contact.
...~~C~~...
AN: Well (exhausted sigh), hope you liked it. Detoured off in quite a few directions there didn't it :) Felt some things needed to go into depth. Please review, I appreciate it. Ta. See you next time!