Descaladumidera: thanks for following! :D
ShadowWolf99: Dear I'm so happy that you reviewd two chapters :3 that was an awesome gift and motivation. sandraj45692: I'm so glad you like it I'll do my best to update soon. HoodedSpellcaster: cuteness to compensate the angst chapters ;) thank you for your awesome reviews, they are always interesting! Ifixedthebifrost: and he will darling! I swear! 3 Harry1675: LOL ok, I won't disappoint you ;) thanks for believing in me! PadfootIsMyHomeDawg: I triedupdate faster for you but its more difficult for me to translate than write the brand new chapters XD I'm sorry, Love you for reading and keeping up with the story. NeonDomino: Sirius has been a bustard and is trying to change that, but he is so emotionally immature and self centred that he thinks that everybody else must know how he feels, he will learn to express himself and true emotions talking and not only with objects. Without realizing he is still bribing Remus as he was used to. He will realize that I promise ;)
Warnings: vulgar language.
15. All I ever wanted
During a wonderful week Sirius felt more and more connected with Remus. They were sharing duties at home like a couple, spending more time together just chatting, and some other times they cuddled on the couch. Well, involuntary cuddled because Sirius used the excuse of being too cold so he could rest his back against Remus's warm body.
Black was dying to take Remus to a Romantic dinner in one of those dumb pink-heath-themed restaurants and ask him to be his boyfriend. Was that a corny plan? Yes, so what? He was in love for the first time in his life. He was head over the hills in love with Remus, but what if Remus didn`t felt the same way?
Sirius had overlooked that simple aspect of the relationship, maybe the other boy didn't loved him back. He was sure Remus liked him at least, but it was mostly because of the boy's low standards in basic human relationships.
Now that he was giving a thought to Remus's point of view, the boy didn't had any reason to love him back. Sirius had treated him so poorly and had showed him his true colors: Sirius Black behind his charm was an arrogant, drunk, womanizer, abusive, obsessive piece of shit. His beauty was only on the exterior because deep inside was ugly.
'Useless scum, you are worthless. Nobody is going to love you. Ever.' Sirius told himself. 'He saw the worst of you and met the monster inside you. Monster. Monster. Monster.' Sirius felt so sad that he could almost cry.
'Sirius?' Interrupted Remus approaching carefully. 'Are you alright? Why are you crying?'
'Me?' Black rubbed his cheeks and he was really crying without even noticing, the tears effortlessly rolled down his face.
'Is there something I can do for you?' Remus asked softly.
'It's nothing. Today we are going to the Ministry so please be ready.' Answered Black swallowing the emotions.
Black went to Remus's room to help him choose an appropriate outfit for the appointment. Finally the aurors were going to extract his memories. As they picked the clothing Black noticed that most of the stuff was still unpacked. Except for three shirts and pants everything had the tags and plastic bags.
'Rem, why haven't you unwrapped your art kit?' Asked Sirius curiously.
'I-I wasn't in the mood for painting.' Remus lamely lied.
'And you weren`t in the mood to have new shoes and pants and sweaters as well? You can tell me the REAL reason all your gifts are intact.'
'I…it's just…'
'I won't get mad, I promise.'
'Ok, well, I keep most of the stuff as new in case you regret giving me all of this.'
'What?'
Remus really thought that Sirius was capable of taking away the few things his owned. Still feared his master's mood swings and that he may return to his old bitter self. It was all Sirius's fault for mistreating his servant every time he gave him anything, like that chocolate prank that went horribly wrong and he ended up calling him ungrateful prick. '…little prick' in fact. Black was deeply ashamed. Remus had no way to know that this change was for real.
'You said you wouldn't be mad.' Said Remus nervously.
'I'm not angry. I'm disappointed in myself and the way I had made you feel. Listen to me, this belongs to you and I would NEVER take it away. I may be a dickhead but I always keep my promises, even if you no longer lived here you can freely take what is yours. I really want you to enjoy this gifts, please.'
'Thank you Sirius, but are you sure? Those things are very expensive?' Asked the boy for the last time.
'Your smile worth every penny. Now, go get dressed love…I mean Remus!' Corrected Sirius blushing.
When the pair arrive to the Ministry Potter could barely recognize Remus now he was looking so healthy and posh in his new clothes.
'Wow! Look at you puppy, aren't you the cutest? No wonder why Black is drooling over you.' Greeted James cheerfully.
'Shut you fucking mouth Potter if you want to keep your balls behind you cock.' Black whispered to Potter, who changed the subject fearing for the safety of his man parts.
'Follow me Lupin! I'll escort you to the Pensive.' Potter said.
They walked through the darkest chambers until they found a huge emerald room with silver polished floor, at the center there was something that looked like a fountain. The wizard in charge of extracting memories asked Black and Potter to leave the room so he could concentrate in Lupin. They were going to take a long time in order to review the full memories.
'Can I smoke in here?' Asked Sirius after a while.
'No, you can't. This is a government office.
'How much is the bail for one cigarette?
'Hmmm 600 galleons. Light it off! Damn it Black you can't solve everything with money, well you can…But that is not the point. The rules are there for a reason!'
'I'm stressed out this helps me a lot! Don't be hypocritical we used to smoke between classes at Hogwarts. I bet your fierce wife doesn't let you smoke anymore since you got married, want a blow?'
'We were just kids, and…fuck, give me that.' Potter took the cigar to taste the sweet smoke.
'Why must they take so long?! Fuck, that old man won't try to seduce Remus, right?'
'Of course no Black, here is your ticket you must pay the 600 galleons.'
'What? But you smoked too.'
The best friends argued while the door opened suddenly. Remus was tearful.
'Rem what has he done to you?! I'll kill him.' Black stood in front of Remus protectively.
'He didn't do anything Sirus, I just had to relive some of my days at the Pettigrew's manor. We had to watch them on the Pensive and it was...I wasn't nice.' Remus said shortly he really didn't wanted to give details, it was too painful.
'I had to verify if the memories of this servant are going to be helpful at all. And it was a success, there are clear memories of the Malfoy and Lestrange families attending to death eaters reunions.' Said the oldest wizard.
'His name is Remus Lupin, not "servant" and was it really necessary to make him watch those again?' Black was very annoyed by the condescending tone towards Remus.
'Well an animal like this technically lacks of the right to have a Last name, but let's go on. Yes it was necessary that he was inside the memory so he could help me to find the rooms and name the people he saw.' The wizard finished his statement and Sirius was livid.
'How much is the bail for beat-'
'OK! WE ARE LEAVING! Thanks for everything Donovan, see you!' James didn't let Sirius finish the sentence and led them out before his best friend ended up charged with assault and manslaughter.
Leaving the ministry their mood improved a lot. Pettigrew and some pure bloods were screwed. The sentence was practically signed. Finally! Potter went back to work very excited with the outcome.
Black decided to get Remus on a second date (even if he didn't knew those were dates) He was determined to be sincere and open his heart for the first time. He felt like a college girl, and the pink decoration in the restaurant contributed a lot to that mental image of himself wearing pigtails and a skirt.
Remus ate slowly and gloomily, trapped by the recent bitter memories. He wished he had never been a servant at that place, not only because of his own tragic experiences, it was also a burden to remember about the people they used to torture at the dungeons. It was difficult to leave all that in the past. Luckily for him in the present he had a very strong and handsome wizard by his side ready to do anything to make him feel safe and happy. Remus felt blessed.
'I'll order your chocolate ice cream.' Said Sirius interrupting Remus's thoughts.
'Thank you very much Sirius.' Remus looked at the man into the eyes.
'Something tells me that you are not only talking about the food.' Black guessed and Remus nodded.
'I mean it for everything. All the support. I have never in my life felt so safe and protected and warm and...Is it over? You told me you don't want me to be your servant, I would understand if you want me to go back to the agency now that you don't need me anymore.' Remus eyes were filled with a painful acceptance. He had probably thought about this long enough to prepare himself to be ripped from his new home.
'No! You are not going back there. Never, ever. They will sell you to another family like you were an object and I know you are better than that.' Sirius paused to gain the courage to say what had been on his chest lately.
'Remus, I have something to tell you. It's a confession actually. Remus Lupin you are the most beautiful man I have ever met, I admire your… Hey! Get the fuck out of here, I'm busy!' Black was interrupted by the musicians that began to play loudly next to their table. They fled sacred of Black. 'I'm sorry for the outburst. Where was I? Yeah, Remus I want to spend my nights with you and want you to accept me…Sorry I'm nervous and screwing everything.' Black was flushed scarlet red and shaking.
'I do understand what you mean Sirius. I'll do anything for your happiness.' Remus held his hand.
'R-really?! So… would you be mine?'
'Yes.'
'You won't regret it! I'll be good to you every day of my life. I'm so happy! Oh Remus you are so incredible! C-can I…Can I Kiss you?' Asked black shyly.
Remus was the one who approached and kissed him on the lips, so softly and passionately at the same time that Sirius felt like the luckiest man alive. Being loved back was the best feeling in the world.
Was it really that easy? -._-. Maybe it is easy :D