You're The Light

by Ginger McGonagall

Taking the episodes and the spark that is clearly evident between Kathryn and Chakotay, this piece of AU fiction brings the pair together in the midst of the Delta Quadrant. Will their relationship survive or will it be brought to an end with the return to Earth? Either way, it's going to be a bumpy ride for not only them but the crew too. Rated for safety.

7. Ch7: Maneuvers

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading along. My apologies for the long wait between chapters. Here's the next one for you all. It's a little early, but the next one is well on it's way. I've started to move away from the transcripts of the episodes a little more now as I've developed the characters. Please, please let me know what you think of how I'm writing them.

I still don't own the characters I'm using or anything affiliated with Star Trek.

Milk and cookies to everyone reading!

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- Maneuvers –

Chakotay and B'Elanna were heading to the Bridge after being called by Kathryn. The pair had been letting off some steam by playing hoverball. It was a weekly thing that the friends did on their odd time. Both were still in their casual clothes, not wanting to keep the Captain waiting, there was an edge to her voice.

"Whatever she wants us for better be good." Chakotay was still a little tense and didn't like it when anyone interrupted hoverball time. The pair stepped into the turbolift. "Bridge." He turned to face B'Elanna. "I had you right where I wanted you."

"What are you talking about? I was ahead, nineteen seven."

Chakotay smirked. "I was lulling you into a false sense of security."

B'Elanna didn't believe him and snorted. "Sure you were."

"I'll win the next couple of points, then you'll start to tense up."

"I do not tense up." Both B'Elanna's body language and voice became defensive.

Chakotay chuckled. "Easy, B'Elanna. It's only hoverball."

The opening of the turbolift doors stopped the conversation, but the smile remained on Chakotay's lips.

"You wanted to see us, Captain?"

Kathryn turned to look at her first officer and chief engineer. Her eyes quickly flicked over Chakotay, she found that she was helpless when he was in casual clothing. 'I'll have to ban him from looking like that on duty'.

Chakotay noticed Kathryn's eyes wander briefly, happy to see that she appeared to be feeling better.

Kathryn mentally shook herself and returned to the matter at hand. Although the silent interaction between the command duo lasted only a second, but it felt like longer to them. Nobody but B'Elanna noticed the interaction.

"Yes, Commander. We've picked up an intriguing transmission."

B'Elanna nodded and headed straight for the science station.

"I have a source on the signal."

Chakotay took a few steps to the side, joining Tuvok at his terminal.

"A ship?" Kathryn asked as she jogged up the few stairs to join her commanding officers.

"Negative. It appears to be a beacon of some kind."

Kathryn and Chakotay frowned, but Chakotay voiced the question on the tip of both their tongues, "A beacon."

Tuvok inclined his head and went to explain but was interrupted by bleeping. "We're being hailed by someone using a Federation signal."

Kathryn and Chakotay shared a look before heading towards their own spaces. B'Elanna followed their movement with her eyes, confusion shining through them. "How could someone be transmitting a Federation signal from the Delta quadrant?"

Tom turned to look into the Bridge. "Maybe Starfleet found a way to get a probe here. Maybe they're looking for us."

Kathryn stood in the middle of the Bridge, a small smile pulling at her lips. "I'd like to believe that too," she grew serious "but, let's not jump to conclusions."

Chakotay turned to Tuvok, determined to get to the bottom of things before hopes rose too far. "See if you can authenticate the signal."

Tuvok inclined his head and at a controlled pace worked his console. "The carrier wave frequency does correspond to standard Starfleet security codes."

"As of when?" Kathryn asked, surprised. She honestly didn't think that the probe was really from Starfleet.

"According to the encryption key, this particular code was not scheduled for implementation until stardate 48423."

Harry was the first one to make the calculations, having been listening to everything intently. "That's a month after we left Deep Space nine. They mustbe looking for us."

"Your optimism may be premature, Mister Kim." Her tone held an edge of warning for the young man.

"Sorry, Captain."

Kathryn shook her head once, she understood his reaction. "But it's also infectious." With a little excitement of her own she ordered, "Mister Paris, lay in a course for the beacon."

"Yes, ma'am." Tom too let his excitement out.

The whole crew grew excited with even the slightest hint of a shortcut home. And who could blame them? As soon as they started to accept their situation, another way home would pop up and build up their hopes again. Now was no different.

Kathryn and Chakotay took their seats as Voyager flew through the stars. Chakotay looked to his right to find Kathryn looking at him, her eyes sparkling and smiled. It was the happiest that he had seen her for a while. After the incident with the Botha, Kathryn had slipped into an almost depression. She spent a lot of time alone in her quarters, or on the holodeck. She had withdrawn from socialising with Chakotay and the crew, only seeing her girls, Samantha and Kes, outside of duty call. Chakotay allowed his heart to believe that Kathryn was beginning to come back to them…back to him.

When Voyager later arrived at the purple nebula, tom spun around to address the command pair. "We're approaching the beacon's coordinates, Captain."

Kathryn and Chakotay stood in preparation.

"It's drifted inside an ionised hydrogen cloud. The cloud's interfering with our sensor readings."

"Can you get information from the beacon?" Kathryn asked harry.

"I'm afraid not. Should I beam it aboard?"

Chakotay jumped in before Kathryn could answer. "I'd advise against bringing it on board before we've gotten a look at it, even if it is emitting a Federation signal." He looked at Kathryn for the majority of his little speech.

Kathryn took a moment to think things through before nodding sharply, once. "Agreed. And I don't want to fly blindly into a hydrogen cloud, either." Kathryn looked over at Tuvok without moving. "Tuvok, tractor the probe into sensor range."

"Aye, Captain." Tuvok bowed his head to work and Kathryn faced the view screen. "Targeting scanners locked. Initiating tractor beam."

Voyager violently shook, throwing Kathryn into one of the sidebars. Chakotay had managed to brace himself and watched the Captain stumble and others fall against their consoles. Kathryn quickly straightened herself out, resisting the urge to touch her cramping stomach.

"Report."

"We are taking fire from inside the cloud."

"Source?"

"Unknown."

"Battle stations." Kathryn took her seat, as did Chakotay.

Chakotay looked at Kathryn as she sat down, biting his tongue. She hit the bar pretty heard and his heart wanted to take over, but his brain managed to push his personal urges away.

Kathryn felt Chakotay's eyes linger on her for a short while but ignored the desire to meet his gaze, reassuring him.

"A Kazon raider is closing at one five eight mark one."

"Hail them, Mister Kim."

"They're not responding, Captain."

Kathryn didn't want to risk further confrontations. "Warp three, Mister Paris. Get us out of her."

"Aye." The ship shook again before Tom could engage. "Warp engines are offline, Captain."

"Initiates evasive pattern omega three. Mister Tuvok, return fire."

"Aye, Captain."

"Kazon ship is in pursuit."

The ship shook again and Kathryn sends out a quick silently apology to Voyager.

"An opening is forming in the starboard shields, seventy two centimeters in diameter."

To Be Continued...

Kathryn turned to Chakotay for the first time since red alert had been called. "See if you can close it, Commander. Try rotating the shield harmonics."

Chakotay used the central console, his right hand flying over the controls. He shook his head. "They are continuously matching their weapons frequency to our shield frequency."

Kathryn frowned. "How the hell can they do that?" she asked in a whispered voice across the small gap between them.

"I don't know," he whispered back.

Their eyes connected and they could clearly see the fear and concern in each other's gaze. The journey so far had provided many conflicts, but few could match them, none of them were able to match their tactics.

"The diameter of the opening has widened to approximately two meters."

"I'll set the shield harmonics to rotate continuously."

Kathryn stayed in her seat, legs cross, slightly leaning towards the central console, watching what Chakotay was doing.

"Diameter of the opening is now approximately four meters."

Chakotay gave up his task and looked from Tuvok to Kathryn. "It's as if they have out access codes."

"Captain," Kathryn turned her head to look at Tuvok. "I am picking up a smaller vessel emerging from the hydrogen cloud. It is heading directly toward the opening in our shields."

"All hands brace from impact." Kathryn firmly planted both feet on the floor and gripped both arms rests tightly, her fingers turning white. Voyager violently shook. People were thrown off their feet and out of their seats. Terminals exploded and systems went down. Kathryn was pleased that she had not gained any more injuries, but was trying to suppress the worry for her crew and ship.

"Warning. Hull breech on deck four, cargo bay two."

Everyone was leaning over their consoles working and communicating.

"Structural integrity is at fifty percent and dropping. The hull is starting to buckle."

"We're losing life support on deck four." Kathryn had taken over the central console, but Chakotay was still leaning close. Kathryn was too far involved in her captaincy to care. She needed to find her balance again.

"I am trying to initiate an emergency field. However, the collision has caused power failure on deck four."

"Rerouting power to compensate." Harry was fully backing up Tuvok, the pair of them working seamlessly.

"Containment field activated."

"Warning. Intruder alert in cargo bay two."

Kathryn immediately stood and spun around. "Mister Tuvok." Her voice was stern and the look she sent him left no room for interpretation.

Tuvok took his phaser from his belt and hit his comm badge. "Tuvok to security. Meet me outside cargo bay two."

A chorus of "Aye, Sir" was heard over the system.

Kathryn watched her chief security officer briskly leave the bridge before turning to Tom. "Can you get us away?"

Tom tried. "It's no use. We're not going anywhere with that shuttle sticking out of our side." He spun his chair around, expecting to find the Captain still in her seat, but was stood close. Tom looked up at her. "It's totally distabalising our warp field."

Chakotay stopped any more conversation between the Captain and helmsman. "Mister Kim, did you reroute power to transporter room two?"

"No, Sir."

"Bridge to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here."

"There may be intruders in transported room two."

"I'm on my way."

Kathryn had her hands on her hips, looking directly at Chakotay, an eyebrow raised. Chakotay didn't say or do anything, knowing that Kathryn was more curious as to how he had formed his thought, than annoyed at the interruption.

"Tuvok to the bridge."

"Go ahead." Kathryn took control once more.

"The Kazon have beamed away, Captain, and they've taken one of our transporter modules with them."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Can you lock onto the module and beam it back?"

A series of beeps was heard before Tuvok's voice. "Not at the moment. As soon as the Kazon dematerialised we lost all transporter power.

Kathryn was almost pacing the length of the bridge, anger and concern floating off her in waves. "Mister Chakotay, lock a tractor beam onto their ship. They're not leaving with that module."

Chakotay nodded. "Aye, Captain." While he did as he was told, he made a mental note to get Kathryn on her own once events had calmed down. The distance between the command duo was not only noticeable to the crew, but it was beginning to hurt Chakotay. All he wanted to do was comfort her, but was unsure how.

"The Kazon are powering their warp engines, Captain."

"Make it fast, Commander."

'Goodness she's tense'. ' With every reason to be'; his head and heart conflicting once more. It had been a common occurrence over the past weeks. "Engaging tractor beam." He looked up to Kathryn, who was stood very close to his right side. "I've got them, Captain."

"The Kazon ship is hailing us." Harry called across the bridge.

"Suddenly they want to talk. On screen." She didn't hold the annoyance from her voice as she moved back into the centre of the bridge, her hands firmly on her hips after having relaxed slightly in front of Chakotay.

The Kazon Maje Cullah appeared on the view screen. "Captain Janeway, First Maje Cullah of the Kazon-Nistrim."

"I remember you, Cullah. That transporter module you just stole was specifically designed for our ship. You'll never be able to integrate it into your systems." Anger came out clearly in her voice. Some of her bridge members cringed and looked away. Kathryn had never shown her anger in front of the crew like that. Even Chakotay was a little surprised at the tone of her voice, despite being on the receiving end of her anger in private more than once.

"I've had some help updating our technology since we last met." With a smirk, Cullah took a step to the side and a Cardassian woman joined him on screen.

It took a few moments for Kathryn to place the familiar face. When she did it came out as a whispered, "Seska."

Chakotay stood quickly as he too made the connection. He came to stand behind Kathryn.

"That's right, Captain."

Kathryn suddenly wanted to escape to her ready room, her anger starting to bubble higher.

"As you can see, I'm in the process of restoring my Cardassian physiology." Seska's eyes flicked slightly behind the Captain. "Hello, Chakotay." Her voice was flirtatious and sickly sweet.

"I should have known you were involved." Chakotay too had a hint of anger in his voice, but it was directed more to himself than anyone else.

"Yes, you should have. Just like I knew you'd try to stop us with a tractor beam. You've always been predictable."

"Captain, their deflector shields are creating a feedback loop. It's neutralizing the tractor emitter."

Chakotay jumped to the nearest console. "Attempting to compensate."

"Good bye, Chakotay. Lovely to see you again." Seska smiled before the view screen went black.

Harry slacked a little. "It's too late. They've gone to warp."

Kathryn allowed her hands to fall to her side. She looked over to Chakotay and Tom, seeing if either had any comment before tapping her comm badge. "Janeway to engineering. Lieutenant Torres, please report to cargo bay two."

"On my way."

Kathryn headed towards the turbolift. "Commander." Kathryn only had to say his title for Chakotay to stand and follow her. "Mister Paris, you have the bridge."

"Aye, Captain."

Kathryn and Chakotay stepped onto the turbolift together and Kathryn manually keyed in their destination. Chakotay turned to look at Kathryn.

"Are you okay, Kathryn?" his voice was soft and lined with worry.

"Just dandy." She was in no mood to talk.

"Computer, halt turbolift."

Kathryn turned to him, anger flowing once more. "Why the hell did you to that."

"Because you need to calm down."

"To hell do I. I have every right to be pissed, Chakotay."

"Then hold it in, because the way you sounded back there was not the Captain Janeway that we all know and love."

"Chakotay."

"No, Kathryn. You need to listen to me. Our crew relies on you. I'm the only one that has ever seen you truly angry, believe me, I'm privileged, but this is going to spread amongst the crew like wildfire and you know it. Hold it in until you're in your quarters and let it out there, be it on me or on your own. But whatever you do, do not let our crew, your crew, see you like that again. They need you to be solid and unmoving, and you need them to trust you and follow you almost blindly."

Kathryn was pacing, only really half listening to what Chakotay was saying, but she recognised that what he was saying held a lot of truth. Chakotay grabbed the top of her arms to stop her from moving and looked into her eyes.

"I care for you Kathryn and I'm worried about you. You've not been yourself since we interacted with the Botha. I understand if you don't want to tell me, I really do, but please, please, let me in. At least enough so that the crew won't have to see you like that again."

Kathryn tried to push Chakotay away, but he wouldn't let go. She beat his chest with her fists, finally letting go of everything that she had been trying to hold in those past weeks. Seeing Seska had thrown her over the crumbling edge that she had perched herself on. Chakotay didn't react; he just stood there and let her get everything out of her system.

Eventually, Kathryn stopped hitting Chakotay's chest and let her hands fall to her sides. Chakotay slowly pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her as she finished crying. It had been hard seeing her so out of control, but he knew that not even the great Captain Kathryn Janeway could keep everything in for so long.

"I've got you," he whispered in her ear.

Kathryn wrapped her own arms around Chakotay's waist and rested her head against his chest, listening to the soothing rhythm of his beating heart. It felt good to let go for a few minutes, just letting her hold on her feelings go. It was liberating, and Kathryn made a mental note to stop locking things away for so long before taking a step back.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"That's what I'm here for, Kathryn. I care about you, you know that. And it's been killing me inside to see you unsettled."

"I'm sorry, Chakotay."

"You don't need to apologise, Kathryn. Just promise me you won't keep punishing yourself for things that you have no control over."

Kathryn nodded. "I promise."

Chakotay smiled. "Good." He handed her his handkerchief, causing her to chuckle. "Dry your eyes and we'll be on our way to cargo bay two."

Kathryn did so, smiling at Chakotay who brushed a free strand of hair behind her ear.

"Computer, resume turbolift." When the 'lift began again Chakotay asked, "Are you sure you're okay? You hit that bar pretty hard."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "I'm fine, really. A little bruised I think, but otherwise I'm okay."

"All the same, I'd be happier if you see the Doctor."

"I'll do so as soon as the ship is safe, Chakotay."

"Good."

The rest of their walk to cargo bay two was almost silent, all talk was focused on the situation at hand. Chakotay didn't want to push Kathryn any more, knowing that she was still on the edge of the cliff, despite being a little further away than she had been that morning.

The command pair entered the cargo bay to see Neelix and Tuvok stood to one side while B'Elanna was bumping and banging in the Kazon ship and Harry was stood just outside the door to the Kazon ship. B'Elanna must have heard the doors open and close because she climbed out with the help of Harry and immediately started talking.

"They modified the bow to puncture our hull."

Neelix circled the front of the ship and came to stand closer to the others in the room. "I've never seen the Kazon do anything like this before."

"Until now, the Kazon have never had an advisor with Cardassian, Maquis and Starfleet tactical experience." Tuvok reminded everyone of exactly what they were up against.

"The question is, how do we dislodge it without losing structural integrity? With power down, our containment fields are already extremely unstable." As operations officer it was Harry's job to keep everyone appraised of the situation on the ship in concern to power and other general operations.

Kathryn inclined her head to Harry in thanks for the brief reminder.

B'Elanna looked at the padd in her hand before voicing her solution. "We'll have to reroute additional power to the containment field and tow their shuttle out with one of own. Then we can repair the breach. The shields and the warp drive will have to wait."

Kathryn nodded in agreement. "Warp drive isn't going to do us much good with this knife stuck in our belly." She indicated to the ship with a fluid motion of her hand. "Get it out fast. We don't want the Kazon to put too much distance between us."

Neelix was shocked at what the Captain was saying. "For – forgive me, Captain, but - but are you sure going after the Nistrim is the wisest course of action after what they've already done to us?"

Kathryn turns slightly so that she is looking Neelix in the eye. "Let me make something very clear. The Nistrim are in possession of Federation technology. That is an unacceptable situation."

"Even though all they've stolen is a small computer component?" Neelix couldn't quite understand why the Captain was so determined to retrieve such a small piece technology, but he had a feeling that she was about to clear that up for him.

"That small component has the potential to cause vast problems in this quadrant. You're our resident expert on the Kazon. What do you think the other sects will do when they realise the Nistrim have transporter capabilities?"

"They'll try to get it for themselves any way they can. You're right." Neelix bowed his head. "It could alter the balance of power among the sects."

"Exactly. And it is our duty to do everything we can, no matter how dangerous, to stop that from happening."

"You can count on me, Captain."

Kathryn smiled at Neelix, he was always so happy to do what he could to please the Captain, that is, once he understood why she was giving orders for something. He really was a wonderful person.

Chakotay had been looking over a padd and tricorder while the others were talking and had finished his examination. "From the look of these sensor readings, Seska wants us to come after her."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay, frowning. His statement had come from nowhere. "Commander?" She knew that Chakotay knows Seska better than anyone else and was willing to listen to anything he had to say on the matter.

Chakotay looked up from the padd in his hand, looking at Kathryn and the others around them. "I think Seska's leading us into another trap. She masterminded a precision raid that made us look like first year Academy students, but she left a warp trail for us to follow. After such a flawless performance, why would she suddenly make that kind of mistake?"

"You think she wants more than the transporter. Are you suggesting we don't follow her?"

"No, I agree with everything you said about preventing the spread of our technology. But conventional tactics aren't going to work with Seska. We'll need to come at her with a few surprises of our own."

Kathryn nodded and took a step forward, completely engrossing herself in the conversation. "I'm open to suggestions."

Anything that was going to be said by either Kathryn or Chakotay was stopped by Tuvok, who brought the command duo back to reality, both of them fully realizing that they weren't alone. "Perhaps Commander Chakotay could use his intimate knowledge of Seska to manipulate her in much the same way she manipulated us."

Kathryn looked at Tuvok with a raised brow. She knew that even after so many months her closest friend and her possible lover didn't get along, but she was surprised that it sounded so clearly in Tuvok's tone. He usually kept it covered up.

"Chakotay, B'Elanna, come with me to engineering, we need to figure out a way to get that module back safely. Harry get this knife out quickly but carefully." She didn't want her ship hurt any more than need be. "Tuvok, I want a tactical report on my desk first thing this afternoon."

"Aye, Captain."

"What should I do, Captain?" Neelix asked.

Kathryn smiled. "Do what you do best, Neelix. I'll call you if I need you."

With nods to the Captain, everyone branched out, doing as they had been told.

Down in engineering Kathryn took a step back, allowing B'Elanna and Chakotay to work through their ideas on getting the module back.

"The module Seska stole contains a quantum resonance oscillator. So, we modify this coil scanner to detect the oscillator, then we get close enough to beam it back."

"I'm betting Seska's figured out a way to shield the module from our transporters. We might have to destroy it instead."

B'Elanna turned to face Chakotay. "How do we do that?"

"We borrow a trick from Seska's book. Remember how we disabled the computer core on the Cardassian frigate orbiting Bajor?"

B'Elanna nodded. "Seska modified an anti-proton beam to penetrate its shields and hull."

"Exactly."

Kathryn smirked. She loved hearing Chakotay's stories about his time as a Maquis. He shared many of them with her during their weekly dinners together, but others that she had yet to hear came out during their work, providing possible solutions for complex issues. This was one of those that had escaped her ear.

"But if I remember correctly, the beam was only effective from an extremely close range. How do we get near enough to the Nistrim ship?"

Chakotay shook his head and turned to the console. "One thing at a time."

B'Elanna stood as close to Chakotay as she dared, wanting to keep the next part of the conversation from the Captain, but knowing that she wasn't going to succeed. "You're taking this all very personally, aren't you?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Chakotay didn't bother lowering his voice. He had nothing to hide from Kathryn, especially not after the moment they had shared in the turbolift earlier.

'Well there goes trying to keep this from the Captain'. "You're not responsible for what happened." B'Elanna adopted her normal voice again, she didn't see the point of whispering if he wasn't going to either.

"Oh no? I let her join the Maquis. I took her into my confidence. I even got intimately involved with her." There was anger and resentment lacing his tone.

Kathryn bulked at the image of Chakotay and Seska together, but logically she knew that he had been with other women, just as she had been with other men. 'Besides, you're not even together'.

Chakotay had noticed Kathryn tense for a second when he mentioned his relationship with Seska and swore that if she asked he would be completely honest with her.

B'Elanna shrugged. "So you have lousy taste in women. Look, Chakotay, she fooled us all. She was my best friend. Or at least, that's what I thought."

"Well, I for one, am through being manipulated by her."

"Are you sure? Because she's affecting you. That's just where she wants you. Don't tense up." B'Elanna took a few steps away and started working, hoping to effectively end the conversation.

"So now I'm getting advice about controlling my emotions for you." He didn't wait for reply from the chief engineer but proceeded to walk out.

B'Elanna stood there, shocked for a few moments before looking at the Captain, who had a similar look on her face. B'Elanna shrugged again. "It's all getting to him."

Kathryn inclined her head. "Thank you, B'Elanna."

B'Elanna nodded and watched Kathryn leave before turning back to her station.

Chakotay was waiting just outside of the doors to engineering for Kathryn.

"That was uncalled for, Chakotay." Kathryn said as she walked out, knowing that he would be there. She didn't stop to address him, but carried on walking to the turbolift.

Chakotay took his place at Kathryn's side, his head slightly bowed. "I'll apologise."

"Good."

The pair were silent until they stepped into the turbolift.

"Bridge." Kathryn stated before the doors were shut. Once they were securely alone, Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "You told me this morning that you were there for me. That you wanted me to let you in." She waited for Chakotay's nod before continuing. "I ask that you do the same. It may not seem like it most of the time, but I do care about you Chakotay. Perhaps I shouldn't but I do. Please, please don't do anything stupid."

Chakotay didn't have time to answer as Kathryn stepped out of the opening turbolift doors onto her bridge. He simply followed in her wake.

Tom spun around when he heard the turbolift doors open. Upon seeing the Captain he gave his report. "I'm picking up a gap in the Nistrim's warp trail, Captain."

"All stop." She ordered as she rounded the side to stand in the middle of the bridge. She felt Voyager come to a stop, the feel of the engines idling beneath her feet brought her some comfort.

"Captain, I've got some floating debris at bearing three one nine mark four."

Kathryn nodded at Harry. "On screen."

The view screen showed two small floating objects. Kathryn took a few steps forward, frowning, her brain trying to work out what her eyes were showing her. "What is it?" she whispered to herself, not expecting an answer but felt Chakotay's whispered "I don't know," on her ear any way. She wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not, so she turned slightly to tell Harry "Magnify" catching a glimpse of where Chakotay was standing. Sure enough he was stood a few paces away, eyes glued to the view screen. She mentally shook herself. 'Stop it Kathryn. Concentrate'. The appearance of two Kazon bodies on the view screen stopped any more personal thoughts that wanted to fly to the surface. "Beam them straight to sickbay, Mister Kim." Kathryn gave the order, spun on her heel and headed for sickbay, calling Neelix as she stood in the turbolift.

"What have you got for me, Doctor?"

The Doctor, Kes and Neelix were stood around a console facing the two occupied biobeds, and Kathryn joined them, standing next to Kes.

"I'm detecting a residual transporter signature. There is no doubt that this man and his unfortunate companion were beamed into space."

Kes looked up from the padd in her hand and looked at Kathryn. "And according to these readings, they were alive at the time, Captain."

Kathryn sighed. "It looks like Seska's already adapted the transporter module into the Kazon's systems and started experimenting with it." This was not looking good. If Seska could integrate just one single piece of technology from Voyager then it would knock the balance of power for their sector and possibly the whole quadrant, she had to work out a way that she could lead her crew through the problem and come out of it successfully and with as little damage as possible.

"Her early trials appear to have been less than successful." The Doctor gave his opinion on the situation.

"I'm not so sure these men died by accident, Captain." Neelix had walked around both bodies and was bow stood at the head of one, looking at the group opposite him. "You see this green band he's wearing." He pointed to the band on the arm of the man to his right. "It means he was the Frost Maje of the Kazon-Relora."

Kathryn frowned, that was one she hadn't heard of before. "Relora?"

"Sworn enemies of the Nistrim. It's conceivable that Seska and Cullah used the transported to execute these men."

Kathryn made sure that she schooled her features to keep her concerns and fear secret from the three crew members stood in front of her. She made a quick decision that it would be better for her to stop her thinking for a few moments and leave for the safety of her ready room. So, she shifted on her feet and looked at each of the people in front of her. "Thank you, continue to find out as much as you can about these two." She indicated the two bodies. "I'll be in my ready room if anyone needs me." She spun on her heel and walked out of sickbay, the path to her destination well ingrained.

The Doctor had immediately turned back to his 'patients' with Neelix answering his questions, while Kes stood and allowed her eyes to follow to path of the Captain, she had felt the unease that had flooded Kathryn before she left and was concerned. With a heavy internal sigh, she turned back to the Doctor and Neelix, continuing to work alongside them.

After grabbing a coffee from the replicator, she sat heavily in the chair behind her desk before beginning her Captain's log, she leaned back and let her mind wander. Many of her thoughts started with Chakotay and the possible problems that the relationship he and Seska had would cause, but she quickly dismissed the concerns, believing that Chakotay wouldn't do that to the crew, or to her. Her following thoughts were completely centered on the issue of retrieving the transporter module and dealing with Seska, hopefully in a way that would prevent her from interfering with the journey home again. She took a long sip of her favourite beverage before pressing her comm badge.

"Captain to all members of the senior staff. Please report to the conference room in fifteen minutes." She didn't wait for a response from any of them before clicking her portable console to start her Captain's log.

"Captain's log, stardate 49208.5. I have convened a meeting of the senior staff to determine how we can get close enough to the Nistrim ship to deploy the anti-proton beam." It was a short entry, but she didn't know what else to say.

Kathryn took a few moments to isolate herself and concentrated on the feel of the humming of Voyager beneath her feet. It calmed her and allowed her to think a little clearer before placing her empty cup on the desk and headed for the conference room.

Kathryn arrived before the rest of her senior staff and took her normal seat, swiveling the chair around so that she could look out at the stars. When the door opened, she turned to look at her staff members as they headed into the room, taking their usual seats around the table. It was these little bits of routine that kept Kathryn grounded during times that she felt she was losing her grip. When everyone was seated, she looked around at each member of the crew, making a mental note of who was in attendance, there was just one person missing, and it sent her heart jumping into her throat and her stomach plummeting.

"Where's Chakotay?"

"He was in engineering helping me modify the coil scanner. He said he'd be right up."

Kathryn hit her comm badge. "Janeway to Chakotay." There was nothing but silence in response to her call. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is not aboard the ship."

A combination of dread and anger filled Kathryn to the core and she had to take a brief moment to push away all of her thoughts to the back of her mind, allowing the anger to fuel her determination to solve the situation as quickly and with as little casualties as she could. After setting her shoulders and sitting up straighter than she had in a long while, she brought the full attention of her senior staff solely to her and began the conversation that she had called them all in for.

"With Chakotay having already left, we have a small time limit to this than I would like, I need your reports and any ideas that you all have for how to deal with this situation."

Chakotay plugged the coil scanner into the shuttlecraft sensors and leaned back into the seat.

"Computer, when will we intercept the Kazon Vessel?"

"Approximately thirty minutes."

Satisfied with the answer that was given, he relaxed a little into the chair, his eyes focused forward, keeping an eye on what was coming up while his mind floated to the situation at hand.

His first instinct was to protect Kathryn, not just from the physical situation, but also from the emotional upheaval that Seska would cause the woman that held his heart. He couldn't bring himself to harm Kathryn in that way, he wouldn't forgive himself if Kathryn was hurt because of his past relationship with the Cardassian. Chakotay had acted on instinct, not even thinking about the negative consequences of his actions. It didn't even cross his mind that his leaving Voyager would affect Kathryn and the crew. He had however, considered the possibility of him losing his life. He was prepared to do that. His death would do permanent damage to Kathryn and to the rest of the crew.

'I have to do this. For the crew and for Kathryn. They'll be safer without me as a magnet for Seska and her deranged thoughts and actions.'

Chakotay's thoughts continued in very much the same manner until the computer alerted him that they would be intercepting the Kazon in five minutes, at which point, he put his plan into action.

Kathryn headed down to engineering with Tuvok to speak to B'Elanna, talking to her chief of security about the situation as they walked.

"What I want to know, Mister Tuvok, is how he was able to get a shuttlecraft off this ship without either of us knowing about it."

"Apparently he was able to override the lockout command."

Kathryn shook her head. "I guess Seska's not the only one who knows how to compromise out security systems."

"I assure you, Captain, it will not happen again." His voice held conviction that sounded foreign to Kathryn's ears.

"See that it doesn't." Her voice was stern as they turned and entered engineering. "Did Chakotay leave any clue about what he's up to?"

"I have accessed his personal logs, but there is no reference to his leaving Voyager."

Panic swept through Kathryn. She had no idea what, if anything, Chakotay had put in those concerning her and his feelings for her. She also had no idea how far back Tuvok had gone through Chakotay's personal logs, and if her panic was even called for. Before making any verbal comment, she made a mental note to speak to Chakotay concerning the security on his personal logs where their relationship was mentioned. Kathryn knew that when they eventually reached home, Starfleet would go through everything, including their personal logs, and she didn't fancy going in front of a disciplinary board for engaging in a relationship with a member of her crew. She didn't want Chakotay being in any more trouble than he would be in when they reached Earth either. There was a valid reason for the restrictions upon her own logs. Kathryn pulled herself back to the conversation at hand. "I guess he was in too big a hurry to leave a note."

B'Elanna had noticed that the Captain and Tuvok had entered and stood by the side of one of the consoles. "The coil scanner was right here. He must've taken it with him."

Kathryn sighed. "Then I guess it's pretty clear he's going after Seska."

B'Elanna inclined her head. "Looks like it."

"You were working with him, Lieutenant. Did he say anything to you?"

B'Elanna shrugged one shoulder. "Just that he thought he felt responsible for Seska and was determined to stop her. But I never thought he would try to do this alone."

Kathryn understood where B'Elanna was coming from, she didn't believe that Chakotay would try to deal with anything alone, not any more at least. She turned to Tuvok. "How big a head start does he have?"

"Approximately three hours."

Kathryn inclined her head before pressing her comm badge. "Janeway to conn."

"Paris here, Captain."

"Lay in a pursuit course for Commander Chakotay's shuttlecraft. Maximum impulse."

"Acknowledged."

"And Mister Tuvok, I was a complete review of all security protocols on this ship by twenty two hundred hours." She added as an almost after thought to Tuvok, pissed that so many breaches had been made in the past twelve hours, and from inside her own ship no less! She wanted answers as to why and how and solutions to combat the possibility of it ever happening again. Kathryn turned on her heel and promptly left engineering, making a bee line straight for her ready room.

Kathryn had been typing away on a padd for half an hour when she was interrupted by the chiming of her door alerting her that someone wanted to speak to her privately. She was tempted to ignore it and lock herself away until she was needed on the Bridge, but thought better of it, the crew were already missing their first officer, they didn't need to be worrying about their Captain too.

"Come in," she called, not stopping what she was doing.

B'Elanna slowly entered the room, she didn't often search out the Captain to speak to her, and seeing the older woman clearly working made her feel bad for doing so. "Do you have a minute, Captain? It's about Chakotay."

Her voice was softer than Kathryn had ever heard coming from the half Klingon, so she placed her padd down and out of her reach, giving B'Elanna all of her attention. "That's not exactly my favourite subject right now, Lieutenant."

B'Elanna took a few more steps into the room so that she was stood in front of the Captain's desk. "Well, I thought that maybe I could explain…"

"Explain what? Why my first officer publically defied my authority by commandeering a shuttle without permission?" She was still pissed at Chakotay, nothing was going to change that any time soon, but she was willing to at least give B'Elanna the chance to voice her opinion.

"I know it was never his intention to defy you. He respects your authority. Cherishes your relationship."

"But?"

"But he's a very proud man. And he's been embarrassed by Seska." B'Elanna went to say more, but Kathryn cut her off.

"What Seska did, she did to all of us. Frankly, I find it more than a little self-indulgent of Chakotay to assume this is all about him."

B'Elanna shook her head. "He never said it to be directly but, I think he was in love with her. And then he found out that everything he knew about her was a lie. You said that he publicly defied your authority. Can you imagine what it must have been like for someone as private as Chakotay to be publically humiliated by someone he loved? And then, as if that weren't enough, she came back to taunt him in front of the entire Bridge crew. In front of you. Can you imagine what it must have felt like for Chakotay to do what he did, knowing that he was hurting you both personally and professionally in the process."

"I'm sure it was very painful for him. But what you're saying it, he's got a personal score to settle."

"That's only part of it. I know Chakotay. This is his way of taking responsibility and protecting the people he loves. In his mind, he's trying to protect us from a dangerous situation which he created.

Kathryn could understand that, she felt very much the same about getting Voyager trapped in the Delta Quadrant. However, she wasn't going to let that soften her. "Maybe. But that doesn't give him the privilege of ignoring this ship's chain of command."

B'Elanna inclined her head. "I know that. It's just that Chakotay would never tell you any of this himself. He respects you and the command structure that you hold so dear to push any of this with you. He treasures the friendship that you allow him to have with you so much so that he worries that revealing all of his thoughts and feelings towards you would cause permanent damage, because you once clearly told him that there was no way that you two could ever be involved."

Kathryn shook her head. "I…" she stopped herself from getting into a heated argument with the half Klingon. "And, assuming we get him back in one piece, you want to make sure I take his personal feelings into account before I decide how to discipline him."

"I know that you're well within your rights to throw him into the brig, but, well…" B'Elanna trailed off, her anger had finally dissipated and she could see that the situation was hurting the Captain more than she thought. 'Or perhaps that's just my words.'

"Chakotay is lucky to have such a good friend. I'll tell you what. Why don't we deal with getting him back in one piece first? We can worry about the discipline later." She had given into her heart and soften a little, knowing that B'Elanna was Chakotay's best friend, only helped the situation.

B'Elanna relaxed and smiled a little. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And I'll also speak to him about the other thing."

B'Elanna didn't know what to say to that so she simply inclined her head and left, leaving Kathryn alone once more with her thoughts.

Kathryn had left her ready room not long after her conversation with B'Elanna. The silence of the room meant that emotional thoughts of Chakotay were being brought to the forefront of her mind, when it was the last thing she wanted at that time.

Kathryn sat in her chair on the Bridge, coffee held in both hands, the heat warming through her, her legs were crossed and she was leaned towards Chakotay's seat. She was watching the view screen, eyes scanning for the shuttlecraft that Chakotay had taken. She was pulled from her vigil by Tuvok.

"Captain, I'm detecting a Federation beacon at bearing zero five seven mark seven two."

Kathryn looked over at Harry for confirmation, which he gladly gave. He nodded at her and voiced, "This one's definitely ours, Starfleet issue."

"All stop." Kathryn stood.

"The beacon is transmitting an automated message. It is from Commander Chakotay."

"On screen." She took a few steps forward when Chakotay's face came on the screen, his voice sounding through the room.

"To Voyager. If this signal has been activated, it means that I have destroyed the Nistrim's transporter capabilities. Captain, I apologies for acting without authorisation, but I ask you not to put the ship or crew in further jeopardy by attempting to rescue me. It's unlikely that I'm still alive."

The view screen went black and Kathryn turned on the ball of her foot and headed straight to her ready room, not making eye contact with any of her Bridge crew. She locked her ready room out and all but collapsed on the floor by her viewport. He mind became an abyss. Nothing but the death of her first officer could make its way through to her consciousness. A few tears escaped her tight hold. She stayed silent, not allowing even the smallest of whimpers from her mouth. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against the sofa behind her, allowing all of her emotions over Chakotay flow out. She needed to clear her mind as quickly as she could so that she could at the very least go and retrieve his body. She needed proof that he was truly gone. The wave of emotions had surprised her, so much so that she was unable to stop them from coming, and ultimately unable to stop the tumble once it had started. The realization that she didn't want to lose Chakotay without knowing what it was like to be with him hit her hard. 'I can't lose him. Not now. I'm not ready to be on my own.' With a steely determination, Kathryn stood, straightened out her uniform and sat at her desk, rapidly pressing buttons on her portable console, making plans. She kept her ready room locked out, not wanting to be interrupted before she had a solid plan that would work.

Meanwhile, Chakotay was being dragged into a small room on the Kazon ship. His hands were bound behind his back with what felt like a thick coarse wire, that was unmovable. The cut on his forehead that he had received when he arrived on the Nistrim ship was bleeding extensively, obscuring the vision in his right eye. He was dropped at the feet of what Chakotay thought to be a woman, the boots smaller than the Kazon's and the trousers were fitted and a better material than the men's. He looked up as best he could and saw the one person he had hoped to never see in person again. Seska.

Seska refused to make any contact with the still handsome man at her feet until she had dismissed the Kazon. "You can go."

Chakotay glanced over his shoulder just in time to see the two men that had dragged him through the ship leave, closing the door behind them. "I see the Nistrim take orders from you now."

Seska smirked. "Let's just say that I'm in a position of some influence. Which is fortunate for you. Culluh wanted to execute you immediately, but I convinced him that you'd be a valuable prisoner, and that I should be the one to interrogate you."

"Lucky me." The sarcasm was dripping from his voice.

Seska chose to ignore his tone. "Would you like a drink?" She held up a half full glass so that he could see the amber liquid. "The Kazon word for this is enemy's blood. It's not exactly fine cognac, but I've developed a taste for it." She took a few steps forward and held the glass closer to him. "Try some."

Chakotay raised his head fully to look up at Seska. His eyes held a steely determination. He wasn't going to let her get through his defenses again. "No, thanks." But he wasn't going to be openly aggressive either.

"You know, I've got to hand it to you. I thought all these months answering to Janeway would have made you soft, but all you needed was a little slap in the face to get that Maquis heart of yours beating again. Here's to old times." She raised the glass in her hand and took a sip.

Chakotay was disgusted. "I have no interest in reminiscing with you. I destroyed the transporter module. Game over."

Seska shrugged one shoulder. "What do I need with a single transporter module when I've got your shuttle and all its technology sitting in our hangar?" Her voice was arrogant.

There was no way that Chakotay was going to let her think that he had played right into her hands. "I think you'll find that technology useless. I wiped the computer core before I transported." He sent up a silent thanks to B'Elanna for having shown him how he could successfully do such a thing.

Seska swore in Cardassian under her breath. "I should have anticipated that." It was clear that even though Chakotay was working under that bitch of a Captain, he was still very much a Maquis, with plenty of tricks up his sleeve that he hadn't taught anyone else.

"So if you're going to have me killed, just do it." 'Kathryn already thinks I dead.'

Seska laughed. "You're still the noble one, aren't you? Ready to die for you shipmates. You know, Chakotay, I may not have the transporter anymore, but I've got something better. You. Maybe that's all I really wanted. I've missed you." She had begun to flirt with Chakotay.

Chakotay shook his head and his heart pulled. "You can't possibly believe that you and I could still…" There was no way that he would do that to Kathryn. They may not be together romantically, but there was no way he could hurt her like that.

"Don't flatter yourself. It was never that good. You might have been an interesting diversion now and then, but I've always been less interested in you than in the information you could provide me with. First you gave me your Maquis secrets, and now I want Voyager's command codes."

Chakotay felt his ego bruise and his heart ache. He had loved this woman once. Not like he did Kathryn, but in a very similar way. He had thought that she had returned those feelings. To have her so bluntly crush those thoughts hurt. Now, unlike then, he had something and someone that he cared for that he wanted to protect to his very last breath. "If you think I'm going to give you those codes, you don't know me as well as you think you do." If there was any way he could have Kathryn forgive him for his actions over the past hours, it was to protect Voyager and keep them safe.

"Maybe not. But for old time's sake, I'll let you in on a little secret. There are half a dozen ships from other Kazon sects on the way here right now. They're joining us to help take Voyager."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm not a monster. I still care about Torres and some of the others. I don't want to see anybody get hurt. I never did."

Chakotay snorted. "I'm touched."

"These Kazon aren't as reasonable as you and I. I'm going to have to use all of my influence to make sure they don't kill you all. But you've for to give me something to work with."

"Voyager's not coming. I left them explicit instructions not to follow me, so you can stop worrying about people getting hurt." He had to squash down the thought that Kathryn wasn't just going to leave him, dead or alive, with the Nistrim, so that his emotions didn't show on his face. It took a lot of energy to keep his mask firmly in place. Energy that he knew he would need later.

"They'll come. She'll come. She'll never leave her first officer in the hands of the Kazon. You may not give me the command codes, but when Culluh get through with you, you'll wish you had." Seska turned and headed out the door, her footfalls heavy with anger. Her plan hadn't worked and Chakotay was clearly not going to cooperate any time soon.

When the doors had closed behind Seska, Chakotay leaned fully against the wall behind him. He closed his eyes but kept all of his other senses on high alert. He hoped beyond all hopes that Kathryn would heed his warning and not come after him, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. She would figure out a way to rescue him, even if she only retrieved his body. He worried about Kathryn in those moments. Worried about the way she was reacting to the situation. He had seen the way that she reacted to situations that affected her strongly emotionally and he was worried that she'd do something stupid; making everything he was going through completely useless. With a sigh he pushed thoughts of Kathryn away; he needed to protect her and the crew no matter what the Captain decided to do. As much as she said she didn't let her emotions taint her actions, he found that she had on more than one occasion allowed just that to happen.

The incessant chiming of Kathryn's ready room door was beginning to get on her nerves, so she heavily placed down the padd she had been reading, rolled her eyes and looked to her door. "Come." Her voiced was harsh, letting whoever was on the other side of the door know that she wasn't in the mood for visitors.

Tuvok and B'Elanna entered, they appeared to be the only two crew members, apart from Chakotay that were willing to face her when they knew perfectly well that she wasn't in the mood for seeing anyone about anything.

Tuvok began speaking, no greetings were made between the trio and Kathryn was grateful for that, she didn't think she'd be able to rein her personal opinions on Chakotay in if she had to speak about anything that wasn't work related. "The message appears to be authentic, Captain."

"We've got to go get him." B'Elanna obviously couldn't hold back her feelings. And Kathryn whole heartedly agreed with her, and she knew it.

Tuvok on the other hand, disagreed. "Commander Chakotay had expressly requested that we not attempt to do so."

B'Elanna put her hands on her hips and looked at Tuvok like he had just said the worst thing in the world. "We don't have to honor that request." She turned back to Kathryn. "Captain?"

Before Kathryn could say anything either way, Tuvok carried on speaking, "If a rescue attempt forces us to engage the Kazon, there is always a possibility that more of our technology will fall into their hands."

"Kim to the Captain. I'm picking up several vessels converging on the Nistrim's location."

Kathryn ignored the announcement from Harry for a moment, slightly annoyed at the interruptions that continued to happen. She raised her hand to stop the pair in front of her from saying anything and spoke herself. "My gut tells me we should go after Chakotay. But my better judgment tells me we should honor his request.2

B'Elanna took a step forward so that she was stood a little in front of Tuvok and directly in front of Kathryn so that she could make direct eye contact with the woman. "I would never want you to ignore your judgment, Captain, but let me ask you this. In your judgment, how would the loss of our first officer affect this crew? What would it do to the morale on this ship? Maybe this is an instance when you gut is giving you better advice."

The two women looked at each other for a long while, both trying to convince the other that they were right. B'Elanna knew that Kathryn was really talking about her heart and not her gut and Kathryn knew that. But no matter how much she wanted to follow it, her Captain duties were pulling her in the other direction so strongly that she was struggling to go against them.

Eventually, Kathryn inclined her head so slightly that had B'Elanna have blinked she would have missed it, and pressed her comm badge lightly. "Janeway to conn."

"Paris here."

"Resume course for Chakotay's shuttle." Her eyes never left B'Elanna's and she made sure that her voice left no room for argument.

"Aye, Captain." The tone of Tom's reply told Kathryn that she had done the right thing. She hoped to God that everything went to plan and she didn't lose a single member of her crew, or any more technology.

Chakotay had been shifted from the dirty floor to an uncomfortable rickety wooden chair. His hands were still bound behind his back and he now had the back of the chair between his hands and back. His bounds allowed him a little movement, if they didn't he knew he'd have worse injuries than what he currently held all over his body.

Culluh hit the right side of Chakotay's face and Chakotay felt something break. He looked up as much as he could at Culluh who spat, "I'm losing patience, Federation."

Seska, who had been standing just to the side and watching events unfold, finally spoke up, Chakotay didn't know if it was out of concern for him or part of her own selfish plan. "Just tell him what he needs to know."

Chakotay ignored her and spoke directly to the Maje. "She's quite a woman, isn't she? Does she rub your shoulders and tell you you're the most exciting man she's ever known? That's what she used to do for me." Chakotay watched as the Maje through a look at Seska that clearly asked why she hadn't said anything about that. Chakotay chuckled. "What's the matter? Didn't she tell you about us?" 'At least Kathryn knows most of it.'

Culluh got right up into Chakotay's face and hissed in a low voice that sounded much more dangerous that any of his shouting had. "Stop playing games and give me the command codes."

Chakotay knew he was going to die sooner or later and wouldn't give up those codes for anything, other than the life of Kathryn, so continued to 'play games'. "Flattery, devotion, sex. I always thought she had a lot to offer a man."

"You talk too much, Federation, but you're not telling me what I need to know."

"You're wrong, Culluh. I'm telling you exactly what you need to know. She's using you." Chakotay felt something shift in his chest and his breathing became labored. He pushed through the pain and focused on what Culluh was saying, needing to stay as focused as he possibly could. He wanted to live for as long as he could, doing nothing but protecting the crew, and his Kathryn.

"I'm the one who's using her."

Chakotay looked around the Kazon to Seska, addressing her this time. "You've done an even better job on him than you did me." Chakotay was struggling to force his words through his throat, his chest growing tighter.

Culluh stood directly in front of Seska, completely blocking Chakotay's view of her. "You talk to me, not to her." It was an order.

"Then what's she doing here? Watching you work? She used to like to watch me work too."

"I don't believe a word you're saying, so you can stop trying to distract me now and start answering questions."

"You know one thing I especially liked? The little mole on her stomach." Chakotay carried on speaking as if Culluh had said nothing. Culluh's vain in his neck grew and started to throb, showing his anger. "I guess you've seen it."

"I'm through wasting my strength on you." Culluh took a few steps away so that he was out of Chakotay's line of sight and spoke to another Kazon in hushed voices.

When Chakotay could finally see Culluh, he held what appeared to be a large syringe filled with a cloudy substance. He felt the needle enter his neck and the cold liquid quickly flood into his system. He was powerless to fight it.

Culluh stood directly in front of Chakotay once more, a smirk on his lips. "Now give me the command codes."

Chakotay felt a pull in his brain. The command codes being brought forward and getting closer to the tip of his tongue. It was hard, but he managed to push them back a little. "I'll give you something better."

Culluh smiled widely. "What?"

"Firsthand information."

"Go ahead."

Chakotay swallowed, it was harder to push what they wanted away this time, and he had to take a moment to make sure that the codes wouldn't come tumbling from his lips before speaking. "When Seska's through with you, she's going to kill you."

Seska stepped forward, placing a hand on Culluh's arm. "He's delirious. He doesn't know what he's saying. Give him some time." She was defensive; just what Chakotay hoped would happen.

Culluh looked at Seska for a long moment before inclining his head. "I'll be back in one hour. For his sake, he better be more cooperative."

The small group of Kazon left, leaving Chakotay alone with Seska once more. This time thought, there was a glint in her eyes that he couldn't make sense of and it worried it a little. And he had every right to be. She pulled a large needle (much larger than the one that was just used on him), from her pocket and walked forward, making sure that he could see exactly what she held in her hands. She played with it a little in her hands as she spoke.

"Very cleaver ploy, Chakotay. But you know I'm not a killer. If I were, you'd have been dead a long time ago."

Chakotay couldn't reply to Seska. His mouth moved, but he was unable to force any air though to make a noise. Seska slowly moved around to stand behind him. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as she stood close to him. The sharp sting that accompanied a needle shot through his whole body as she inserted the needle into his cervical spine. He felt his own bodily fluid drawn from his spine. He grew weaker as she slowly extracted what she wanted from him. He lost consciousness after forcing himself to watch the Cardassian woman finally leave him alone. Kathryn's beautiful face appeared behind his eyelids and he was happy to stay unconscious, safe in the knowledge that she would be the last person he saw before dying. He believed, in that moment, that he would never get to hold the woman who held his heart again. That he would never get to kiss her, love her. His heart swelled and he lost all other feeling in his body. Completely submitting to his unconscious world.

Kathryn had entered the Bridge with B'Elanna and Tuvok and was now sat in her usual seat in the centre of the Bridge, looking out at the stars. She had her legs cross and her hands on her arm rests, anxious for what was coming up.

Tuvok was the first to break the silence that had overcome the Bridge crew. "I have located the Nistrim vessel on long-range sensors. Distance, point four light years. However, they are not alone. There are now at least six other Kazon ships in the immediate facility."

Kathryn's head spun quickly in shock to look at Tuvok. "I didn't think Culluh had that many ships."

Neelix, who was stood behind the two command chairs decided to give some insight. "They must belong to enemy sects."

"That may be so, but the ships have not powered their weapons systems."

"What do you make of it, Neelix?" Kathryn asked the Talaxian.

"It's certainly…unusual…for rival Kazon sects to congregate peacefully."

"Is it possible the Nistrim have formed an alliance with other sects?"

Neelix shook his head. "I've never known the Kazon to do anything like that before."

"If the Nistrim have added six ships to their force, it would be tactically unwise to engage them, Captain."

"Then we'll just have to find a way of getting Chakotay out of there without picking a fight, Mister Tuvok." Kathryn knew that Tuvok and Chakotay still didn't get along too well, but she was making it perfectly clear to the Vulcan that they were going to get Chakotay out of there one way or another, and he couldn't persuade her either way.

B'Elanna was sat at one of the far consoles, and turned in her seat to look at Kathryn. "We can transport him out."

Tuvok immediately shot that idea down. "We would have to slow down once within transporter range, giving the Kazon ample time to open fire."

B'Elanna shook her head once. "Not necessarily. We could beam him out at warp speed without even slowing down. The Kazon would never be able to catch us."

Kathryn had yet to say anything, partly because her Bridge crew were debating amongst themselves, but also because she was yet to decide if it was a plausible idea or not.

Harry added his own voice to the discussion. "That's difficult enough when both ships are travelling at warp. The Kazon ship's not even moving."

"I can compensate for that." B'Elanna was quick to answer. She had clearly thought about this, it wasn't just an idea that had jumped into her head.

Kathryn was interested and wanted to know more. She stood and took a few steps to the side so that she was standing in front of B'Elanna. "How?"

"By synchronising the transporter's annular confinement beam to the warp core frequency."

Harry decided to stay in the conversation, despite the fact that the Captain was clearly trying to have a conversation with B'Elanna. "Maybe, but at a relative speed of two billion kilometers per second, it's pretty tough to get a lock on somebody."

Tuvok agreed. "Ensign Kim is correct. We would risk scrambling his transporter signal and killing him. It would be a direct violation of Starfleet's safety protocols."

Kathryn couldn't care less about safety protocols right then. All she cared about was getting her friend and first officer back.

B'Elanna clearly felt the same. "Do you have a better idea?" she snapped at Tuvok before turning back to Kathryn, her voice softer. "Trust me, Captain. I can do it."

"How can you be so sure?" She wanted to believe in B'Elanna. She knew her abilities, but wasn't sure if she could blindly trust that Chakotay wouldn't be killed in the process.

"Because I've done it before. When you're a Maquis, you don't always have the luxury of following protocols."

Kathryn stood and looked at B'Elanna for a long time, searching for something in her eyes. Something that would lead her to trust the younger woman as much as she knew Chakotay did. B'Elanna didn't break eye contact with the Captain, she hoped that she would find what she was looking for. She trust Kathryn now, there was a time when she didn't but Chakotay a remedied that a long time ago. Now, she hoped that Chakotay had had the same effect on their Captain. Eventually, Kathryn nodded very slowly, having made up her mind.

"The crew will give you everything that you need to pull this off, B'Elanna. As will I."

"Thank you."

"Just get him back in one piece. Alive. And in one piece." Kathryn pleaded so only B'Elanna could hear, knowing that she would understand.

"I promise." It was whispered so that Kathryn would hear her reply, but nobody else.

The pair nodded to each other before B'Elanna headed straight to engineering, needing to work from her own station. She would have more control from there. Kathryn went and sat back in her own chair, hoping, wishing that B'Elanna would be able to pull this off. B'Elanna and Kathryn worked side by side, along with both of their own teams.

The butterflies in Kathryn's stomach caused her to feel sick when Tom announced. "Sixty seconds to transporter range, Captain."

"Bridge to Torres. Have you located Chakotay?"

"I'm reading Kazon life signs but still no Chakotay."

Tuvok's voice of reason rang through the Bridge and engineering. "Captain, I must remind you that we have no direct evidence that Commander is still alive or if he is, that he is still aboard that ship."

"I'm not conceding that yet. Can you give me anything, B'Elanna?"

"I'm picking up some kind of localised dampening field. It's blocking our targeting scanners."

Kathryn frowned. "Maybe Seska's found a way to hide Chakotay from us."

B'Elanna could see that. "You may be right. I've got to reinitialise the targeting scanners to much the relative phase of the dampening field." There was a moment of silence before she declared. "I've found him, Ka-Captain! He's alive."

Relief flooded Kathryn. "Can you get him out of there?"

B'Elanna sighed heavily. "The dampening field is disrupting our transport signal. I can't get a lock on him."

Kathryn decided it was time to fall back onto plan B. "Red alert. Mister Paris, take us out of warp."

As soon as Voyager had dropped out of warp, it was hit by a weapons fire, causing the ship to shake.

"Mister Paris, evasive pattern Delta four. Mister Tuvok, return fire."

"Firing phasers."

"Bridge to Torres. Can you transport Chakotay?"

"I'm matching the pattern buffer frequency to the Kazon dampening field."

Kathryn was getting antsy. Voyager would only be able to hold out for so long. "Make it fast."

"I've got a lock. Initiating transport…"

"…Do you have him?"

"I had him for a second, but they've remodulated the dampening field."

"Can you compensate?"

"I'm trying, but I need more time." B'Elanna's voice clearly showed the stress she was under and Kathryn felt for her.

"We'll try to hold them off, but we don't have long. Mister Tuvok, phasers to maximum. Let's give them a little distraction."

Tuvok did as he was ordered. "The other Kazon vessels have opened fire."

"Mister Paris, evasive pattern omega two."

"Aye, Captain."

Voyager shook violently again.

"Bridge to Torres. You're going to have to hurry it up down there. We can't hold them off much longer."

"I'm doing the best that I can."

"Aft shields down to twenty three percent, Captain."

Kathryn inclined her head in acknowledgement to Tuvok's statement and pressed her comm badge again. "Bridge to Torres. Can you transport Chakotay out or not?" She understood that B'Elanna was under a lot of pressure to pull this off, and to do so successfully, but she needed to have a straight answer from her chief engineer.

"They've put the dampening field on some kind of randomly fluctuating modulation. It'll take me at least an hour to match the phase variances."

"Shields to sixteen percent. Captain, we must retreat." Tuvok was becoming annoyed that the Captain was ignoring him in favor of speaking to Lieutenant Torres.

"Lieutenant, just how localized is that dampening field?"

B'Elanna paused in her work. "A little more than two metres in diameter. Just enough to isolate Chakotay. Why?"

"I think I've got an idea." Kathryn quickly explained her idea to B'Elanna. She wasn't Captain for nothing.

"I'll give it a go, Captain. It might just work."

Kathryn was more than happy she and B'Elanna were working well alongside each other. It was something that she could tell Chakotay when he go back to make him smile.

Twenty minutes later and the Doctor's voice sounded over the comm system. "I've got him, Captain."

"Mister Paris, get us out of here. Warp three."

"Aye, Captain."

Once Voyager was safely away from the Kazon sects, and well on her way out of the quadrant, Kathryn stood from her chair.

"You have the Bridge, Mister Tuvok." Kathryn said as she headed towards her ready room. She was desperate to see Chakotay, but held off, knowing that he would come to her the moment that the Doctor let him leave sickbay, and B'Elanna let him out of her sight.

"Aye, Captain."

Kathryn looked over her shoulder briefly at her Bridge crew before closing her doors.

"Coffee, black." She held the mug between both of her hands and sat down on her sofa, tucking her right foot underneath herself as she leaned against the backrest and starred out at the passing stars. She was trying to get her thoughts in order. As much as she wanted to throw herself at Chakotay and never let him go, she knew that her duty at Captain had to come first. Kathryn sighed and took a sip of her drink, the hot liquid calmed her as she felt it run down her throat.

She was finishing the last drops of her coffee when her door chimed.

"Come."

"Kathryn."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay and fought the urge to smile at him, she wanted to rush right to him, seeing the wounds on his face and the bruises on his wrists only made it harder to be the Captain. 'The quicker I get this out of the way, the quicker I can be personal with him'. "Just tell me one thing. What were you thinking?"

Chakotay stopped in his tracks, just a few steps away from where Kathryn was still sitting. "About keeping out technology out of Kazon hands. I thought if I did it on my own, I could keep the rest of the crew out of danger. Keep you out of danger."

"That may be a very noble sentiment, but it wasn't your decision to make." Kathryn stood and stopped in front of him. "Oh Chakotay. We've spent the last ten months together on this ship. I thought we had an understanding. Why did you choose to ignore procedure?"

"Seska was my problem, a problem I felt it was my duty to solve."

"So you had a personal score to settle."

Chakotay bowed his head slightly. "I thought I was doing to right thing."

"Really? Tell me this. How do you expect me to keep order when the first officer takes it upon himself to run off like some cowboy because he decides it's a good idea? What you did was commendable. The way you did it was not. You set a terrible example. And on a personal level, you've made my job more difficult."

"If that's so, I regret it."

"I'm putting you on report, in that means anything anymore."

"It means something to me, Captain. It means I've let you down, and doe that I'm truly sorry."

Kathryn allowed her lips to turn up at the corners. She could see his feelings clearly on his face and in his eyes. She raised a hand to place it on his chest, pushing the Captain away for a while, when Tuvok's voice stopped her. With a sigh she tapped her comm badge with her raised hand. "Go ahead, Mister Tuvok."

"I think you and Commander Chakotay should come in here."

"On our way."

Tuvok started speaking the moment that Kathryn and Chakotay appeared out of the ready room. "I have located an automated message beacon, Captain."

Kathryn frowned. She didn't like the sound of that. "Another one?"

Tuvok nodded. "It is a message to Commander Chakotay from Seska."

Kathryn turned to Chakotay, an eyebrow raised. "Would you like Mister Kim to put it through to your office?"

Chakotay made eye contact with Kathryn. He didn't want to hide anything from the woman in front of him. "No. I think I've spent enough time alone with Seska."

"Very well." The command pair went and stood in the centre of the room so that they could clearly see the view screen. Once in position, Kathryn ordered, "Put it on screen."

Seska's face appeared on the large screen. "Hello, Chakotay. Congratulations on your victory. I look forward to our next meeting. Oh, and there's something you should know. While you were unconscious, I took the liberty of extracting a sample of your DNA. I impregnated myself with it. So, I guess more congratulations are in order. You're going to be a father."

The screen went black and a low murmuring started to roll across the Bridge. Chakotay looked at Kathryn who was still stood to the side of him, before quickly leaving, saying nothing and his face completely blank. Kathryn watched him leave. She had seen a flash of sadness and shame in his eyes when he looked at her before leaving. Kathryn hung back and waited until the turbolift doors were shut before addressing her crew.

"This goes no further than this room. Anyone caught in telling anyone who isn't here right now about this, they will receive a severe disciplinary action. Do I make myself clear." Her tone was harsh. Harsher than any member of the crew had heard before.

A chorus of "Yes, Ma'am" echoed from each person.

She was satisfied that the message from Seska would be kept secret, at least for the time being. With sure and steady steps, Kathryn went to her ready room, taking the door to the corridor, not wanting her crew to think she was going after Chakotay. She didn't stop walking until she had arrived in her quarters. She quickly changed from her uniform to a long blue dress, and allowed her hair out of its tight confines and allowed it flow down her back, just the way she knew Chakotay liked it.

Once ready, she asked the computer. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."

"Commander Chakotay is on holodeck one."

Kathryn checked herself out in the full length mirror before leaving her quarters, heading straight to holodeck one. She entered and immediately locked out the doors, she didn't want to be interrupted by anyone while she was with Chakotay.

She slowly walked along the worn path that wound between trees and around flowerbeds. It was a wonderful place. One that Kathryn didn't believe could ever be real. The scene made her calm. All of the anxiety that she felt about approaching the man that held her heart drifted away with the slight breeze. She was so engaged in her surroundings that she didn't realise that she had found Chakotay until she felt his hand on her arm.

"Chakotay," Kathryn gasped, completely surprised.

"Kathryn, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you." She smiled and raised a hand to Chakotay's face, lightly stroking his cheek. "What happened to you, Chakotay?" she whispered. Chakotay looked no better than he had when he was stood in front of her in the ready room.

Chakotay took a few steps back, putting some space between them. "I'm fine, Captain."

"I'm not here as the Captain. I'm here as Kathryn. You're friend. I'm worried about you, Chakotay."

Chakotay shook his head and sat in a nearby boulder that was facing the trickling stream at their feet. Kathryn simply watched him. She didn't want to push him, so she stood, nonmoving, waiting for Chakotay to make the next move. She had the whole night to wait for him. She would give him her whole life if that was what he needed. What he wanted.

It felt like forever had passed before Chakotay turned slightly and extended a hand out to Kathryn. With slow movements, Kathryn approached, took the hand offered to her and sat on the boulder beside her first officer.

"I'm so sorry, Chakotay. I really am."

"You have nothing to apologise for Kathryn, not really. I should be apologising to you."

"You already have."

Chakotay shook his head. "That was professional. And this is personal."

"Chakotay-" she squeezed the hand that still encased her smaller one.

"I should have told you about Seska before."

Kathryn frowned. "You did."

"No. There's so much about that woman, about our relationship and my feelings that I've never told you. Never told anyone."

"And you don't need to. All I need to know is how you feel now."

Chakotay slid from his perch and knelt next to Kathryn, placing his free hand on her right knee, looking straight into her sapphire blue eyes. "I love you, Kathryn. You and you alone hold my heart."

Kathryn didn't know how to reply. She had only just considered loving Chakotay and was still reluctant to completely admit that to herself, let along anybody else. 'Honest. Just be honest, Kathryn'. Kathryn took a deep breath before speaking. "Chakotay…I-" she cleared her throat. "You know I care for you, deeply, I just-"

"I know Kathryn. You don't need to explain to me again. I understand. I'll wait for you."

"I don't know if I want to wait, Chakotay," she whispered. "But I don't know how to go about changing our relationship."

"I'll go as slow as you want to. I don't want to lose you/ through my actions, or those of others. And I don't ever wasn't to disappoint you again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she quipped with a smile.

Chakotay too smiled an winced, bringing Kathryn back to Earth. She gently brought her hand from Chakotay's, to the bag that she had hastily thrown over her shoulder before leaving. She pulled out a dermal regenerator.

"How about we start with me sorting out the rest of your wounds?"

"Does the Doctor know you have one of those?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "Captain's privilege."

Chakotay shook his head at her answer, but quickly stilled when Kathryn's small hand came to lie on his left cheek. With a care and gentleness that could only be linked to a life partner, Kathryn healed what she could see. The pair remained in silence until Kathryn relaxed back onto the boulder.

"There, as handsome as ever."

"Thank you, Kathryn."

"Anything for you."

With a smile and a sparkle in his eyes, Chakotay pulled Kathryn down from the stone and she squealed as she landed in his lap. They laughed heartedly. Kathryn leaned against Chakotay's chest and his arms wrapped around her, holding her close. After calming down, they looked out across the stream, each lost in their own thoghts.

"I always wanted a child, you know." The sentence was quiet and came out of nowhere, causing Kathryn to quickly look up at him.

"I didn't know that…But you still might get that chance."

"Would you like a child, Kathryn?"

"I'd always thought I'd have one eventually. I guess I just never found the right man."

"Mark?"

Kathryn shook her head. "Didn't want any. He was reluctant to even take in Molly."

Chakotay placed a kiss to her temple. Her lips curled up and she relaxed back into him.

"What will you do if Seksa finds us again?"

"You mean when. I'll stay by your side and work things out with you. The child isn't mine, Kathryn. You won't lose me to her."

"The child is innocent and may need its father."

"Then I will take it in if I need to. But how long will the child stay innocent for with Seska and the Kazon as its influences?"

Kathryn simply nodded.

"I'd like a plan in place just in case."

"I agree. We can't have anything like this happening again. But we'll discuss it later. For now, let's just relax, enjoy the time away from the crew."

There was a notable change between the Captain and first officer the following day when they arrived for duty to together. They seemed stronger, closer. The shift in their relationship the previous night had brought a new calmness and happiness to them both, and ultimately the crew. The pair were finally moving in the right direction…towards their other half.

Samantha, who was once more sat at the science station, watched the pair enter, and then continued to keep an eye on them throughout the duty shift. She made a mental note to speak to Kathryn that evening when she went around for her usual hot chocolate before bed. Her own smile seemed to be permanent as she noticed Kathryn and Chakotay leaning across the gap between their chairs to talk when the bridge crew were quiet. She was so happy to see them like that and not hiding it. Her curiosity was starting to get the better of her and she wanted nothing more than to question Kathryn. She waited impatiently for the end of shift.

Kathryn left for her quarters from her ready room, not wanting to pass through the bridge, the whispers having started up when she had left. She was meeting Chakotay in an hours' time for dinner and she couldn't help the wide smile that broke out as she walked with a spring in her step.

Chakotay was much the same as Kathryn. He left the bridge as soon as he could, handing over to the night shift. He cooked Kathryns favourite pasta, changed and headed over to her rooms across the way. He rang the chime and waited for her to answer the door. When she did, he wasn't disappointed.

Kathryn manually opened the door, something she didn't do very often, a wide smile gracing her lips. Her hair was down again, flowing down her back. She wore a pastel green summer dress hugged her body in all the right places and ended at her knees. She had small flat shoes on, almost like slippers, that matched her dress, making her legs look like they went on forever. It took everything Chakotay had in him to not drawl. He did, however, allow his eyes to take in every inch of the woman stood in front of him.

Kathryn felt herself blush and took a step to the side.

"Come in."

Chakotay brushed against her slightly as he passed into her rooms. "Do you want this now, or later?"

Kathryn allowed the door to close and followed Chakotay into the kitchen. "Place it on the table, and I'll get the plates."

Chakotay did as he was told and turned to watch Kathryn reach up into the cupboard for two plates. He quickly brought his gaze from the strip of skin on her thighs that had been revealed as she stretched. Kathryn had taken a little longer and had stretched that little bit more than necessary as she felt the handsome man's eyes on her. She turned when she felt his eyes leave her. She placed the plates opposite each other at one end of the table and went to sit down; Chakotay reached her chair before she could pull it out.

Chakotay held out the chair for Kathryn, who sat down happily. He placed a hand on her shoulder gently as he tucked her in. He took his own seat before removing the lid from the pot that sat between them.

Kathryn inhaled deeply. "You remembered."

Chakotay inclined his head. "I always remember."

Kathryn allowed herself to completely relax in his company, and chuckled. "I trust you."

"I'm glad. Now, let's eat." Chakotay dished out the pasta equally between them, leaving some in the pot, should Samantha turn up or should Kathryn wish to save some for lunch tomorrow. He knew that her eating habits weren't good, and he would continue to make sure that she ate at least one proper meal a day. It was a conversation to be had now, though, so he started a topic of conversation on Samantha and Kes. He knew what Kathryn felt for the two of them and she was always willing to talk about them both. It was a safe topic that would make her feel comfortable.

Kathryn and Chakotay spoke casually with each other as they ate, the conversation drifting from topic to topic. When they had finished their meal, she remained at the table for a long while. Kathryn had her head resting on her hands and leaning forwards. Chakotay was leaning back in his chair, his hands in his lap. It was wonderful for the pair of them to be so relaxed.

A chime at Kathryn's door brought them from their conversation. Kathryn frowned.

"Expecting someone?" Chakotay asked.

"No. Sam and Kes don't use the chime anymore."

Kathryn stood to manually open the door. With Chakotay being with her, she didn't want to allow just anyone into her rooms. While Kathryn went to answer the door, Chakotay cleared the table and placed the pot that held the remaining pasta in the kitchen, Kathryn would do what she wanted with it later, he was sure. When he finished tifying, he headed out to the living room. He frowned when he saw Tuvok standing in front of Kathryn.

"Is something wrong?" he asked as he came to stand beside the Captain.

"Tuvok was just about to answer." She didn't mind it when Tuvok came to visit, but when he came to lecture her about getting close to her first officer, she wasn't too pleased.

"Nothing is wrong, Captain, Commander. Bare what I said in mind, Kathryn." He turned and left, leaving a confused Chakotay alone with a slightly pissed off Kathryn.

"What did he say to you?"

"Nothing of importance, I promise." She sat on the sofa heavily. She had just started to convince herself that it was okay for her to get closer to Chakotay. Tuvok had just thrown everything into turmoil once more.

Chakotay sat next to Kathryn, placing a hand on her knee, pulling her attention to him. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."

Kathryn sighed deeply. "He's just warning me about getting too close to you. As he's been doing since we joined crews." She shook her head. "He's just looking out for me."

Chakotay moved his thumb in small circles and Kathryn focused on the sensation. "It's good that you have someone to look out for you."

"We've been good friends for a long time."

"Have you spoken to him about your feelings for me?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Because you don't want to lose him as a friend, but you need him to understand why you're doing what you're doing."

Kathryn could see where he was coming from. "I'll go and speak to him tomorrow."

"Good."

Kathryn turned and looked up at Chakotay. "Thank you."

Chakotay's answer was to place a kiss to her forehead. He had decided that the best way to make Kathryn comfortable was to take small steps. Small touches, small kisses, small gestures of the lover's sort that would show his feelings but would also allow her to take her time at building a strong relationship with him.

Kathryn relaxed into Chakotay's side and rested her head on his shoulder. He brought his other arm around her shoulder, holding her close. It felt good for Kathryn to relax, let go of her responsibilities for a short while and allow herself to be held. Chakotay made the most out of holding her. He hoped that this was just the beginning of something long lasting. He knew it was going to be a long road with Kathryn and he wasn't going to push a single part of it with her.

Samantha arrived an hour after Tuvok had left. She just walked in, as had become her habit, and as Kathryn had told her to do. She was expecting to see Kathryn on her own, curled up on the sofa with a book, as she always was when Samantha arrived to spend some time with older woman. She was surprised to see Chakotay was with the Captain. And even more surprised to see Kathryn curled up in his side, reading her current book. She stopped just a few steps into the room, not entirely sure on what to do.

Kathryn looked up from her book and smiled at Samantha. "We don't need to change what we do because Chakotay's here."

Samantha smiled and headed to the replicator. "You haven't upset it again have you?"

Chakotay chuckled and answered her. "You're safe, I cooked tonight."

Samantha laughed and ordered her hot chocolate before sitting on the other side of Kathryn. Kathryn moved her legs so that Samantha could comfortably sit down and drape her legs over Kathryn's.

Samantha smiled at Kathryn and looked over at Chakotay, a sparkle in her eyes. "So, Chakotay, are you to become a … permanent … nightly fixture?"

Kathryn tapped Samantha's arms in reproach, but didn't stop Chakotay from answering.

"I hope to be, but only when Kathryn is ready for me to be."

Samantha nodded and fixed her face into a more serious look. "If you hurt her, in any way, you'll have me to deal with."

"Understood." His voice was just as serious as Samantha's. conveying just how serious he was about not hurting Kathryn.

Kathryn simply watched the two as they looked into each other's eyes, both trying to find something to satisfy themselves somehow. Eventually, Samantha smiled and Kathryn felt Chakotay relax once more. Kathryn's heart swelled in a way that she thought was impossible. She felt complete. She'd never felt like that before and she savored it, not knowing when, or if, she would ever feel that way again.

The trio went to bed late that night, none of them wishing to leave for their own rooms. Kathryn had to stand and pull Samantha up by the hands, to get her to go to her own room.

"I'm not going to make it, Kathryn. I'm nearly asleep stood here."

"Then transport."

"Can I not stay?" There was a sparkle in her eyes again and Kathryn had picked up on what that sparkle meant in the early days of spending time with the younger woman.

"No. Now go."

Samantha rolled her eyes and sighed, "Okay." The pair hugged before Samantha beamed out.

When Samantha had left Chakotay stood in front of Kathryn. "I'll take that as my cue to leave as well."

Kathryn took a few steps forward so that she was stood in his personal space. "You don't have to go."

"I do. At least for now, Kathryn. I don't want us to rush into this, okay?" Kathryn nodded and Chakotay took the final step towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Kathryn leant her head against his chest, wrapping her own arms around his waist. They stayed like that for a long moment. Neither wanting to let go, but both knowing that, for that night, they both needed to go their own ways. Chakotay was the first to pull away, knowing that Kathryn couldn't always be the strong one, and he didn't want that. He wanted her to lean on him when she needed to and for her to allow him to take control of the situation some times. He placed a kiss to her crown before taking half a step back, keeping his hands on her waist, but putting a little distance between them.

Kathryn smiled. She was starting to get used to the little touches that Chakotay had been bestowing her over the past twenty four hours. She hoped that they would continue.

"I'll see you in the morning, Katie," he whispered, a little apprehensive over the use of the nickname that had been rolling around in her head since they had first met.

Kathryn bowed her head a little, the guilt of being with Chakotay in a manner other than just friends flooded her when she heard Chakotay's nickname for her. There was only two other people in the universe that called her that, her father, and Mark, when they were in the throws of passion. It had never sounded right rolling from Mark's tongue, but coming from Chakotay's lips, it sent shivers down her spin. Pleasant shivers.

"I'm on at eight."

Chakotay took her lack of comment over the shortened version of her name as a positive thing and smiled. "I'll meet you outside."

"I'll be there." Kathryn stood on her tiptoes and pressed a light kiss to Chakotay's cheek.

With one final hug, Chakotay left, leaving Kathryn alone to her thoughts and emotions. Her high at being so happy dissipated as she readied herself for bed. By the time she had buried herself under the sheets for the night, her head had found its voice once more and was arguing about continuing her relationship with Chakotay. It was like having a miniature Tuvok in her head, watching and commenting on every little action that she did that wasn't totally logical. She knew that she shouldn't give up on Mark so easily, but she knew that logically, that it was going to take her seventy five years to get Voyager and her crew back home. She didn't want to be lonely for all of that time. She couldn't expect Mark to be alone for all that time, and she very much doubted that she could survive that long alone, without a personal support system. She gave up trying to calm her mind enough to sleep and lay in bed, her eyes closed, listening and feeling the movement of Voyager rumble through her bed.

The following days were happy ones. Voyager had been left alone and they had left alone anyone that they had come across. The crew were relaxed and enjoying their time as much as they could. Kathryn spent her days split between sitting on the Bridge, going through reports and catching up with any members of the crew that she needed to, or that wanted to speak to her. They were starting to become a family, and Kathryn liked that. After duty shift was over, Kathryn would have a few hours to herself before spending time with Chakotay, Samantha and sometimes Kes. Once alone and with nothing to do though, Kathryn's head and heart began to argue. She was getting little sleep and it was worrying her close 'family' none of them had said anything, but they had began spending more time with her throughout the day as well as the evening. She had a support system now and she was slowly learning to allow them to do what they wanted.