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This is an FFVII fanfic by kleptomanic0. The characters are not mine and never were. Otherwise it wouldn't take such a #$&'in long time to kill the Ruby and Emerald WEAPONS.
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Aeris got tired very easily. Sephiroth noted her slowing step and her fluttering eyelids after three more hours of hiking and finally stopped, finding a small niche in the wall that would be fairly proof against monsters. It was a testament to the Ancient's exhaustion that she did not fight him when he told her to get into the wall; she merely climbed in and immediately fell asleep, curling her long braid into a rough sort of pillow. As soon as she was well and truly asleep, Sephiroth reached in and pulled her out of the niche, slinging her over one shoulder. It would be a while before he got tired yet, and why not use that time to cover more ground? After all, he didn't like being in the Pit, as he had come to think of it, any more than she did.
He hiked on at a slightly brisker pace than the one he used with her; her legs were so short that he was actually forced to walk, not stride as was his wont. Chagrin built in him as after the first hour, Sephiroth actually found himself getting tired. So, the Curse of the Planet was more inclusive that he had thought.
"It's not just reliving the Omnislash over and over again—it's the destruction of all my Jenova-based powers. Damn it. What am I now, no stronger than a normal First Class SOLDIER? Or weaker even than that?"
Suddenly feeling hunted, Sephiroth broke into a light jog and checked his surroundings more often.
"Planet," he thought, not really expecting the rock to respond, "You brought me back to life to torture me, but you revived this Ancient as her reward for her service. Her chances of survival would be much better if I were stronger.
"Then again, if I were stronger, I'd probably leave her behind. She's really only good for healing me. And staving off the quiet. If it weren't for her chatter, I'd keep thinking, and—
"Damn it. I'm thinking now. Why? Thinking gets me in trouble. What was it that Zack said? If you think only about yourself, you'll be unhappy? That seems to be true in my case, but when I start thinking about other people, I get annoyed with them. So much of humanity is stupid..."
The stupid faces he hated most flickered before his eyes. President Shinra, who had signed off on creating his miserable existence; Hojo, who had made it that way; every petty officer and soldier who had tried to block him... How he had hated being subjugated to them, having to do everything that they said for fear of going back to the lab, for losing what power, no matter how little, he had out of it. To be the complete master of his fate, that was why he had joined Jenova.
"For a while, it was wonderful. But afterwards..."
He didn't like to dwell on that time. It might have been easier if his thoughts had been jumbled or something; maybe he could have told himself that he really had gone crazy. But the memories of his time with Jenova and his ill-fated attempt to destroy the Planet were crystal clear, so sharp they nearly hurt, and Sephiroth sourly wondered if that was the way he perceived them or if the Planet was trying to torture him again.
"By making me think."
He broke into a marching song as he jogged, dredging it up from somewhere in the far places of his memory. It was not the official Shin-Ra marching chant—he was not going to sing that thing's praises—but rather one of the bawdy tunes that the soldiers had sung in Wutai to make the miles pass faster to and from battles or bases. Fourteen and uncertain, he had not joined in, but the memory of all those voices bursting forth in gruff song still stayed with him. Their solidarity had really been quite touching...
"I have a lovely girl at home,
Her face looks like a hog's,
I put a paper bag on it every time we snog.
Her hair is a great big stringy mess,
Her eyes are muddy green,
And the noises that we make border on obscene.
But we don't care that the neighbors do,
So we'll keep 'em up all night,
And after all that good, good sex, I'm ready to fight!"
"What?" Aeris gasped, sitting up.
Sephiroth glanced at her. "What?"
"What are you singing?" She demanded incredulously. A pause, and then she asked, "And why are you carrying me?"
"It's faster," he replied. "And you're tired. As for the singing, it makes the time go by."
"Well, it's a horrible song," she said, sniffing.
"But it keeps the beat," he said, starting to smile. "And nasty songs perfectly suit soldiers."
She scoffed and muttered under her breath, not realizing he could hear her. "Zack and Cloud never sang nasty songs."
"Cloud's no soldier," Sephiroth laughed, and he felt Aeris's glare. "Either the special designation or the profession; he doesn't follow orders well and he has a problem with authority. Zack—this would be Zachariah Jennings?"
"Zachariah?" She exclaimed. "Did he have spiky black hair?"
"Yes," Sephiroth said, grinning. "He really hated his first name—said it sounded too boondocky; his word, not mine." A flicker of memory went through him and he sighed, saying, "Too bad he's not here to enjoy it." He blinked, and remembered what he had been saying earlier. "As for Zachariah, he thought these jodies were hilarious. Even though he joined SOLDIER after the war, he insisted on coming up with new ones, worse ones that became new classics. Do you want to hear?"
"No!" She exclaimed. Then, a few seconds later, "Why not?" Sephiroth obliged.
"Her breasts, they look like mountains,
Her stomach is a plain,
Her hair is like a great forest,
And her eyes are wet with rain.
Like the earth, she's bountiful,
And one kiss gives me luck.
I need everything I can take,
So we make a point to—"
"Stop." Aeris said at once and Sephiroth laughed.
"Didn't like that one, did you?" He asked, glancing at her. "I'm sure he wasn't talking about you. Zack loved women."
"Zack?" She said, looking at him. "Not Zachariah?"
"It's a fun name to say, but not when he's not around."
Aeris fell silent. "That's right." She said softly. "You killed him, didn't you?"
"I wounded him," Sephiroth corrected. "The injuries I gave him were sustainable by a First-Class SOLDIER." He frowned and asked, "How did you know that?"
"I met him again in the Lifestream," she said shortly.
Sephiroth faltered—then he continued to run, saying. "Pity. He would have made a fine officer."
Aeris didn't say anything for a long time. At the moment, Sephiroth was going up a long, steep road that led to a thin, ladder-like stalactite. Sephiroth took Aeris off his shoulder and rubbed it as she brushed off her dress.
"Sore?" She asked, looking at his shoulder.
"Considerable downward force," he replied, and chuckled when she slapped him on the arm. Normally he did not brook people hitting him, but it wasn't as though she were doing any damage, and it made her feel better—which would make her feel less reluctant to heal him when the curse struck again. Plus, her ineffectual blows were just funny. Pointing at the stalactite, he said, "Climb."
"You first," she said, frowning. "What if there's a monster up there?"
Good point. Sephiroth crouched and jumped, leaping to the top of the ladder in one smooth leap. "No monsters," he said, looking down at her.
To his surprise, she took a deep breath and jumped also, surging impossibly light into the air to land as softly as a mote of dust next to him. The word "princess" again flashed through his mind, particularly as he saw the Princess Guard gleaming in her hand.
"Don't get complacent," he said, nodding at the cliffs before them. "We've got quite a ways to go."
Aeris groaned. "Can you carry me again?" She asked, looking at him.
Sephiroth looked at her. "Will it get me in your pants?" He asked with a perfectly straight face.
Aeris turned as red as her jacket. "No!" She screeched, and whacked him on the head with the Princess Guard. The length of it lent her a strength she shouldn't have had, and Sephiroth actually saw stars as he staggered, clutching his head. "Honestly! Jeez..." She huffed and stalked off, hopping to the next cliff. Sephiroth glared and followed after her.
"You have no sense of humor," he said, hopping up to join her on the next cliff.
She glared at him. "I couldn't tell if you were joking."
His brows arched. "Excuse me?"
"You looked so serious when you said it," she said, edging away from him. "I wasn't sure."
Sephiroth pointed at himself. "I'm gay, as you may recall."
"You were ogling me at the pool," she said, flushing.
"I was not ogling," he said, annoyed. "Ogling would indicate lust, of which there was none. I was simply admiring the view." Aeris glared, not looking in the least bit pacified. "It was a very nice view," he said graciously, and ducked as she tried to hit him again.
"The correct answer is, 'I didn't see much'," she grated.
"The politically correct, you mean," Sephiroth said, straightening. "You already know I saw. Why lie about it?"
"You're an asshole!" She exhorted, whirling around in a blaze of pink and stomping off.
"And you're a princess," he muttered under his breath before following her.
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Author's note:
Lots of banter. Highly amusing. I had more fun than I imagined I would coming up with the cadences. The mental picture of a Shin-Ra army singing them on its way to battle makes me smirk, to say nothing of Sephiroth singing them in the crater.
They're warming up to each other, or least Sephiroth is unwinding. He's bored. Really, really bored. It makes him do stupid things, like discover the joy of annoying people for the heck of it. Yes, that's what he's doing. If he doesn't constantly rile Aeris, she doesn't talk, and if she doesn't talk, he thinks. Sephiroth is inherently a musclehead, and he doesn't really like to think.
Thanks to Super Lizard for correcting me with terminology: marching songs are not cadences, they are jodies. Yay, something new every day!
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