A/N: All info located in chapter "Over" posting.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.
Bella had made it back to her room by the time everyone returned to the house. She had washed her face, changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over her. She hadn't seen Rose or Jake in her short trek to the room.
Edward had come up to check on her. She told him she wasn't feeling well and asked that they go on to dinner without them. He had frowned at that.
"Love, I'm worried about you. What's going on?"
She opened her eyes and looked up at him tiredly.
"I'm alright, Edward. I just..." She grasped quickly at anything she could think of.
A cold! That was it! She had glassy eyes still and that would help to explain the crumpled up tissues on the nightstand next to the Kleenex box.
"I think I'm coming down with a cold or something." She sniffled to make her point.
He stroked her hair. "Oh, love. I'm sorry. Do you want me to stay home and take care of you?"
She shook her head. "No, honey, that's okay. That's sweet of you, really. But you should go. I'll be alright. It's just a cold."
She smiled weakly up at him and he smiled lovingly at her.
"Alright, love. But if you need anything, you call me, okay? And I'll come right home."
She nodded. "Please tell them I'm sorry."
He stroked her face tenderly. "Don't worry, love. You just rest."
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes. He stroked her face one last time. "See you soon."
She nodded and sighed, burying her face into the pillow.
She heard him leave and close the door quietly.
She waited.
She heard them all downstairs, Emmett's voice louder than the others.
"Where's Bella, man?"
She heard Edward speak softly.
"She's not feeling well. I think she's coming down with something. She asked us to go ahead without her."
She could hear "aww, poor thing," and the "that's too bad," resound in response.
Then she heard them shuffling around, getting ready to leave.
And then she heard the front door close.
She waited a little more.
Faintly, she heard the car start and then pull away until she couldn't hear it anymore.
Then and only then did she let herself break down again.
She saw his face, his eyes, how broken he had been, how hurt he looked.
And she cried harder.
Why? Why was she doing this? No. Why had she done this? To him? To her? Why?
She remembered back to the way he had held her and made love to her that afternoon.
She thought about how wonderful he had made her feel. How beautifully he touched her.
She thought about his hand in hers, holding it down, making sure their fingers stayed intertwined.
He had asked her to stay with him, to focus on him, look at him, so they could maintain the connection.
She remembered the way he had kissed her, so deep and passionate.
She thought about his smile, his laugh, his eyes, his hands.
She thought about his arms around her, holding her tightly to him.
It all flashed by in a blur inside her head, every moment, every kiss, every touch.
She grabbed her pillow and sobbed into it.
Why? Why could she not have ended it before he started to care about her?
Why did she let it get so far? So far that she was now mourning the realization that she couldn't give him the one thing he wanted?
She thought about that day in the garage. The day he had gone over the tools with her. The day, according to him, he said he knew he felt something more for her. That it had been solidified.
When he tried to teach her about the car, he had stood behind her, his arms over hers underneath the hood, his hands covering hers, trying to teach her.
When she thought about it, that was the day she began to notice the soft intimate touches. It was very few and far between but he definitely was more tender with her than he had seen before.
Not that he had ever been too rough with her, treating her like shit. He had never done that. Yeah, they fucked but they both enjoyed it.
But that day, things had changed and he was more loving towards her. Jake was right.
He had kissed her temple a few times as she became more and more frustrated with not being able to grasp what he was trying to teach her. She then finally stilled her hands and huffed.
"Jake, I'm not getting it. Just forget it."
He laughed and kissed her cheek.
"Relax, baby. You'll get it eventually."
And then he continued to patiently instruct her until finally she gave up.
He had let her but he was optimistic she would learn if she just gave it some time. He promised to teach it to her again when she was ready.
She had laughed darkly. "Yeah, right. Like I'll ever be ready."
He had smiled at her warmly. She saw that light in his eyes for the first time, the fire that she saw so often there when he was looking at her but a softer more affectionate version.
"You will."
Bella sobbed louder.
Even though they had only been talking about the car, Bella couldn't ignore the eerie sense of deja vu in her current predicament.
She had been trying to give up, refusing to believe that nothing but misery would come from continued attempts. Jake had been patient and committed, waiting for her to work her way through while trying to gently guide her. And then she finally had given up. And he had urged her not to, begged her even, but ultimately he had let her.
And now he was gone. She had pushed him away. She had ended it.
She saw his smile, his lips kissing her shoulder, her cheek, her ear, her nose, her neck, his face in the mirror from earlier that day, his arms around her.
She buried her face deeper into the pillow and she held it to her body.
"I'm so-r-ry."
How could she have let him go?
She cried herself to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~SWM~~~~~~~~~~~~~SWM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SWM~~~~~~~~~
Bella woke up slowly.
She blinked and rubbed her eyes. They were dry yet raw.
She heard a small snore beside her.
She turned and barely made out Edward sleeping next to her.
She then turned to look at the clock.
2:14
She sighed and got out of bed quietly so as not to disturb her sleeping husband.
She walked silently to the door, opened it and closed it softly behind her.
Her throat was dry. She needed a drink of water.
As she made her way down the hall she heard a few muffled moans greet her.
She stopped and jolted upright as if she'd been slapped.
No, no. Please. Even though she had no right to be bothered by it, it still made her skin crawl.
How could he?
Not that it was a crime for him to make love to his wife, but couldn't he not have until they all returned home?
Even if he hated her, wanted to get back at her in the worst possible way, could he be so heartless?
She heard a gruff "Fuck..." and then the creaking of the mattress picked up in volume.
She felt like she was going insane. She wanted to scream, tangle her hands in her hair and go back and wake Edward up and make him take her home.
The rough grunts did her in.
She had to get out of there.
Now!
She made her way quickly to the stairs and was about to descend them, two at a time, not caring in the least if she tripped and fell, splitting her head open and having to go the emergency room. That'll show him. Actually, he probably wouldn't give a shit. He'd probably still continue fucking her just so he could get off.
She could just imagine him urging Ness to continue after hearing the large thud. "Nah, don't worry about it, baby. I'm almost there. You coming with me? Focus on me. Come on."
She gagged at the thought.
But as she got to the top of the stairway. She stopped and turned.
The sounds were coming from Emmett and Rose's room.
They were louder now.
She then heard Emmett.
"Aww yeah, baby. Fuck...yeah."
She grimaced but at the same time, she was relieved.
She took a deep breath and risked a few steps towards the room at the opposite end of the hall.
She tried to listen to see if there were any sounds coming from the door. She couldn't. Emmett and Rose were too loud.
She held her hand to her forehead and sighed, making her way back to the stairs.
She took them one at a time, the urgency from before now mysteriously vanished into thin air.
It was dark but there was a soft glow coming from the kitchen.
The light was on low underneath the microwave, luminating the stove underneath.
She walked to the refrigerator and opened the door.
She looked and found a bottle of water. She grabbed it, opened it and took a quick sip.
"Feeling better?"
She jumped and gasped, spilling a little water on herself. She saw Jake sitting at the counter, staring hard at her, a beer bottle in his hands.
She cringed at the venom in his tone. Her chest was heaving in and out. Her heart was thumping so loudly she was sure he could hear it from where he sat.
He took a swig of his beer and she closed the door, darkening the room once more.
She slowly walked towards the counter, her eyes down, gnawing on her bottom lip, placing a strand of hair behind her ear.
Once she reached it, she placed the bottle down on the counter. She looked up at him through her lashes.
She could see his features faintly in the small light.
He was glaring at her.
"Hey."
She winced. It sounded exactly like she didn't want it to. Hoarse, like she'd been crying.
He smirked wryly at her.
"Hey."
He then took another sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving her.
"Soo...um...what are you...doing up?"
He snorted. "Last time I checked, this was my house. What are you doing up?" He then took another sip of his beer.
Bella winced again. She stared down at the counter and placed another strand of hair behind her opposite ear.
"Sorry...I just...I um...I didn't mean..."
He scoffed. "Yeah, whatever, Bella."
He sipped his beer, looking away.
She felt the tears starting to build back up and the lump start to rise in her throat again. She nodded quickly.
"Sorry...I'll just..."
She turned around to leave and began walking out of the kitchen.
"You thought it was me and her up there."
She froze.
She heard him come up behind her. He leaned in and breathed into her ear.
"Didn't you?"
Bella felt the heat flood her cheeks. She turned around to face him.
She arched her eyebrows angrily.
He stared down at her.
She could smell the alcohol on his breath and his eyes were glassy.
Even though she had seen the beer he was nursing, she could tell he had been drinking for far longer than that.
"Well?"
He was falling into her practically, making her lean back a bit. From this close distance, she detected a microscopic slur hidden behind his harsh voice.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
He snorted again. "Yeah, you do."
He fell a little further, making her take a step back. He lifted his right hand and cupped her face, his thumb softly stroking her cheek. "Reminds you of old times, huh?"
She tried to pull away. "Jake..."
He leaned in and closed his eyes, coming near her mouth before she jumped back, making him stumble a bit.
"Jake!"
He sighed and covered his face with his hands. He shook his head, laughing and then dropped his hands, looking at her.
"I should've fucking known."
She looked at him sadly and then forced her eyes down to the ground, crossing her arms as she did.
He snorted again.
"I should've fucking known the first time I saw you. I should've known you'd fuck with me this way."
Bella looked up at him hurt. The pain evident in his tone stemmed her natural angry reaction.
"I didn't fuck with you, Jake."
Another snort.
"Bullshit."
"I didn't!"
He went back to grab his beer, his heavy gait a little more wobbly, making his intoxication plain to her.
"Keep it down. I wouldn't want to wake up your precious husband."
He then took another swig from the bottle.
She felt the tears burning hot in her eyes. She swallowed thickly.
She closed her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Jake."
She heard him laugh again and opened her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I'm tired of hearing you say that, Bella."
He turned to face her with the beer in his hand.
"I really fucking am."
She gave him a pleading look.
"You're not sorry. Why would you be? We both got what we needed, right? So why be sorry?"
He took another long sip, draining the bottle. He placed it on the counter and ambled back over to the fridge and grabbed another one.
She stared down at the ground. She didn't know what to say. She couldn't reason with him right now. Not when he was like this. His cutting remarks only made her feel worse.
He had opened the beer and took another long sip. "I mean, that's what it was, right Bells? A good fuck that both of us needed. Right?"
She flinched. "Jacob, I..."
He moved closer to her.
"I swear to God, Bella, if you say you're sorry one more fucking time..."
Her eyes bugged at him.
"I wasn't going to..."
He snorted sarcastically. "Good."
He then took another sip of his beer and looked away.
She looked in the opposite direction. Something told her she should just leave. Let him sleep it off. Then try to talk to him in the morning. Or, at least once...this weekend. But she decided to ignore it.
She looked back at him to find him staring off towards the living room. She stared at the same spot, trying to see what he was so focused on. She couldn't. But she did hear a faint creak in the silence followed by a wail of a moan that must have come from Rose.
He laughed. "Man, they're loud."
He took another sip and then turned to face her. "Pretty inconsiderate for other people in this house who aren't gettin' any, if you ask me." And then he took another sip, glaring at her.
She rolled her eyes. She didn't like him when he was like this. She knew he was hurt and angry and had every right to be. But he was just being fucking immature now.
"Good night, Jake."
She made to walk out of the kitchen, passing him on the way without looking at him when she felt his hand grab her arm and spin her towards him, forcing her to stumble into him in effect making him stumble.
He threw his arms around her, pulling her in tighter and she struggled to get free. "Let me go, Jake."
He laughed darkly. "You weren't trying to get away from me so badly this morning."
She struggled again, grunting in the effort. "That was then. This is now. Let me go."
He leaned down and she turned her face away. He placed an open-mouthed kiss on her ear instead.
"No."
She was angry now. "Jake, fucking let me go. We already went over this. It's over."
He laughed again humorlessly. "Funny, I seem to remember telling you that it's not over until I say it's over. And Bella?"
She turned to face him, her cheeks completely red, breathing hard. "What?"
He growled. "It's not over." And then he crushed his lips to hers, drowning out her protests.
A part of her just wanted to melt into his arms, into the kiss.
Another part of her was screaming in her head, saying this was wrong. She had just ended it between them mere hours ago.
That part won. She tried to tear her mouth away but he wouldn't let her. He had one arm wrapped tightly around her body, picking her up and his other hand was clasping the back of her neck, holding her to him, making it impossible for her to move.
He was moving her somewhere; she opened her eyes to find the kitchen cabinets getting farther from view. He was carrying her down a hallway she hadn't been down before.
She flailed and tried to kick at him wildly. He just kissed her rougher and moved faster.
His arm was wrapped so tightly around her body, she couldn't get her arms free.
She could scream but then Edward and Ness would wake up and with the state Jacob was in, he would tell them everything. And she couldn't have that. She'd wait for a moment he would be caught off guard.
She saw him stop in front of a door, struggling to get it open and then dragged her inside when he did. He shut the door behind him and she heard the lock click into place. The only light in the room was from the moonlight spilling from the windows. She could just barely make out a desk that he was moving her to. He never let her lips free, his breathing loudly coming out of his nose.
Oh fuck no. She was not going to have a replay of this morning. No fucking way. She struggled against him and he held her tighter, his steps never slowing. He stopped and then finally removed his lips from hers.
As soon as he did, she gulped for air. He leaned down and swiped everything off the desk, objects thudding onto the carpeted floor.
"Jake, please. Stop. We have to stop."
He growled and moved her to roughly lay her down on the desk, facing him. She grunted in pain.
"Stop!"
He covered her mouth with his, preventing her from saying anything else. She felt his hands at the waistline of her pajama pants, pulling them down impatiently.
It was like fucking deja vu all over again.
Except this time she was on her back.
And this time, he wasn't stopping or giving her the choice.
He wanted her and he would have her.
And no amount of pleading or reasoning was going to work.
Not when he was like this.
She knew that now.
She struggled against him, moved this way and that. But each time she did, he seemed to know which way to move to avoid the kicks and blows and yet still keep her restrained.
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was amazed that he was still able to tear her pants off of her and then her panties while fighting with her like this. She yelled into his mouth. "Jake, stop!"
It only came out as a muffled vibrating hum that was greedily devoured by him. He began thrusting his jean-clad erection against her bare folds.
And once again, her body involuntarily responded.
She felt herself getting wetter than she normally was when she was around him.
She hated that her body was so reactive to him.
Her struggles died down a little as she closed her eyes, biting her lip, trying to contain the sounds his movements wanted her to make. She knew if she did he would then take it as submission and fuck her right there and then.
She still pushed against him and he only pulled her back to him and grinded into her even harder. She couldn't control it. She gasped. She knew she must be leaving a wet spot on his jeans. A groan escaping from him told her that she had.
He must have sensed she wasn't fighting back as hard (she wished she could see him) because she then felt his hand palming her mound. She tried not to. She bit on her lip so hard it bled. She didn't even have time to react to the rusty taste when her back arched suddenly without her permission.
She then felt his hand move faster, making her arch into him. Before she knew it, she let out a long moan.
His hand stopped. Her eyes flipped open. Shit.
Sure enough, she heard him unzip his jeans and felt him pull away a little as he lowered them. He then placed both hands on her thighs, spreading her legs wide. And then the hands gripped her hips and started to pull her down toward him quickly.
"W-Wait!"
He stopped and she could hear his heavy breathing.
She knew he was waiting for her to speak.
She didn't like not being able to see him, to read his expressions, to see his eyes. It was almost like she wasn't with the Jake she had been with earlier, even when he had been rough with her. It was almost like she didn't know this one. And she didn't like that at all.
"I-I want t-to see you. I c-can't see you." She was breathing so fast she could barely get the words out.
He said nothing for a minute, making her feel like maybe she should scream for help after all.
And then she felt him slide her body towards the other end of the desk, him moving with her, where the light from the window was shining into the room. He positioned her facing away from the window and then he stepped into the light above her.
She felt the breath leave her body in one giant whoosh.
He was beautiful.
His shirt was off and he was bare chested. She had no idea when he had time to take that off. She could see the line of his boxers hung snugly on his hips, lowered a little where his erection was now free.
She had seen all of him at one time or another. He was extremely good-looking, had a gorgeous flawless body. He had the biggest dick she had ever seen and he knew how to use it. His six-pack was God's gift to the women who had ever seen him shirtless. His skin tone was golden, stretching taut over his muscles, enhancing them even more, making a woman soak her panties on sight. He was a god. Her own personal god that she was more than willing to get on her knees and worship for the past five weeks. And he blessed her time and time again.
But this...there was something about the way he appeared to her tonight...here and now. She didn't know what it was but it scared her and thrilled her all at the same time, making her want to laugh and yet cry.
He stared down at her and she could see his dark eyes looking at her hungrily. His lips were formed into a thin tight line, his jaw obviously clenched.
There was something about the way he stepped forward that made her think of a predator moving in on its prey.
She could see he was still angry, his movements very rigid as he took her thighs into his hands, never breaking eye contact with her.
Her breathing was erratic as she watched him, unable to move or make a sound.
He spread her legs again.
Her heart sped faster. She couldn't look anywhere else except his face. His eyes immobilized her.
He gripped her hips tightly.
She gulped loudly.
He slowly pulled her body down to meet his and stopped when just his tip was at her entrance.
His harsh glare never left her. For the life of her, she couldn't look away even if she wanted to.
So many things happened all at once.
She heard him grunt as he thrust into her so fucking hard it felt like she was going to split in two, making her cry out, but their eyes never left each other. His eyes filled with a different light when he did but Bella couldn't quite make out what it was. But she was captivated by it even more than before and she couldn't bring herself to look anywhere else.
He was still glaring at her, the anger never leaving his face. He pulled out and thrust into her roughly again, grunting just as loud as before and moving her body with the force. She moved one hand to the hem of her shirt and gripped tightly while biting her lip to stifle her moan.
He did it again.
And again.
Until he began to slam into her faster and with even more force.
He never took his eyes off of her, almost as if he wanted her to see what she was giving up. At least that's what Bella thought as she stared into his eyes.
They were both panting heavily. His hands never moved anywhere else. He just fucked her like this, rough, hard and now fast.
A few moans escaped her lips and when he increased his speed and hammered into her, a guttural cry or two made their way out as well. Honestly, she didn't know how she wasn't screaming in pleasure with what he was doing to her. But as he watched her, she thought it had more to do with what was going on between them at the moment. She was not allowed to look away. That much was clear.
The sound of skin slapping filled the air along with the pungent odor of sex.
Her lids were heavy with lust but she struggled to keep them open. She wouldn't break this intense gaze between them. She couldn't. He wouldn't let her. And she didn't want to.
She had been good. She hadn't moved her hands anywhere, either. One stayed on her shirt, gripping harder and harder with each thrust. The other had made its way to the edge of the desk and was gripping the smooth wood just as hard.
His breathing had picked up, surpassing her own, and she knew he was close. Even though she had been gradually getting near the edge as well, she felt a new need rise within her, even stronger than the one to release.
She knew at any given moment, he was going to pull out and come all over her stomach. And even though she had seen it tons of times in the past, she now felt a sudden urge, no, need, to look into his eyes as he did it. She didn't understand it but the desire consumed her more than any other desire or need she had ever felt with him before.
She did it before she could stop herself. The compulsion was so strong that she acted without thinking. She lifted herself up and grabbed his arms, trying to pull him down with her.
But things didn't go quite as planned.
He stiffened and grabbed her wrists in both hands, stopping his rapid thrusting while remaining buried inside her and quickly slammed her back down, her wrists gripped tightly in his hands. She gasped in pain but kept her eyes on him.
Oh, she had brought him down with her alright, but not the way she had intended.
He was now inches above her, staring down at her murderously, his grip on her wrists tightening. She bit her lip in pain.
He moved his hips, pulling out until the head remained and then pushed into her agonizingly slow, glaring at her all the while. His grunts were gone and his breathing was slowing down, allowing him to once again form his lips into that angry little line.
He pulled out, leaving just the tip.
And then he pushed back in with just a notch more of speed, pushing up into her until she could feel him almost in her stomach, making her body move up higher on the desk with the movement. She gasped so loud she would be surprised if the whole beach hadn't heard her. She closed her eyes, breaking their connection for the first time and moaned after sinking her teeth deep into her bottom lip.
He hadn't moved. She could still feel the head of his dick nestled up higher than he had ever been. Her body acted once again without her permission. She squeezed him with her inner muscles, clenched and held him there. She knew she was tight, he had always mentioned it during their moments. But gripping him like this and not letting him go, a small part of her wondered if he felt like he was being strangled right then.
And she got her answer.
She heard a groan and she opened her eyes to find his above her.
He was still angry. The traces were still there but his eyes were softer now. Almost as soft as she had seen them upstairs in the bathroom earlier.
He let out a choked sound. "Ungh..."
He closed his eyes for a second, panting heavily. He went to pull out and she wouldn't let him. She could feel him twitching inside her, against her, making her moan again and her eyes roll in the back of her head.
She recovered to find his eyes open, staring down at her with pain and...something else. Was that...awe?
She stared up at him worriedly. He looked like maybe she was hurting him so she unclenched her muscles and released him.
And what he did next surprised her.
He lifted a hand to her right cheek, the only tender action of his since this started a little while ago, and he caressed her skin gently.
He let out a broken strangled whisper.
"Love...me...Bella."
Something snapped inside of her.
She felt like her life was ending, the world as she knew it was coming to an end. Like she was dying right here, on this desk, Jacob Black killing her, being the death of her. The vulnerability in his tone undid her. She saw him. For the first time, she could really see him. And her heart broke for him. And then she died right there, taking her last breath, staring into his eyes.
And then a new Bella emerged. A new Bella who had lifted her head and was kissing him frantically like it was the last time she would ever do so. She pushed her tongue to his lips, he barely having enough time to part them for her before she was thrusting her tongue inside, tasting him, exploring him, taking everything he had to give.
He was so shocked by her reaction that he had loosened his grip on her wrists and she was able to free her right one and bring the hand up to his face, grasping him desperately as she plundered his mouth. He moaned into her mouth and she consumed it, ravaging any sound that escaped him.
She thrust her hips into his earning her another groan but he got the message. He began to move in and out at a gentle but steady pace.
She refused to release his lips. She couldn't get enough of him. She was like a crazed animal in a feeding frenzy.
She needed him.
And that need was consuming her, dominating her senses until she was running on pure instinct.
Just like an animal.
And the only thing that ran through her brain was "Jacob. Jacob. Jacob." on a one-way track.
She slowly retracted her tongue, touching his with hers gently on the way out, she felt his following, trying to return the favor and explore her.
She pulled back a little so she could close her lips but remain kissing him.
She felt his tongue glide along her lower lip, asking for entrance but she denied him. Instead she waited for him to pull his tongue back into his mouth and push his lips to hers. And once he did, she pushed forward, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and biting down until she tasted blood. His blood.
She heard him yell in pain but she couldn't be bothered with that. It was so loud that surely people in the house had heard and would come running soon, banging on the door. But she couldn't be bothered with that either. Right now she needed to taste him. Every part of him.
He tried to pull away so she could stop biting but she wouldn't let him. Her hand moved down and gripped the side of his neck tight and kept him from moving. She removed her teeth from his lips and began sucking on it, letting her tongue lap over it, trying to soothe the pain.
He managed to pull away from her, raising his head to look down at her, stopping his thrusts yet again. His eyes were wide as he stared down at her in shock.
She arched her back into him, moaning, trying to get him to continue. He didn't move. She thrust her hips up into his. And still, nothing. She placed her hand on his neck again, trying to pull him back down to her but he didn't budge. She whimpered in frustration. He still wouldn't move. It was like he was frozen, so shocked at her behavior that he was almost afraid to continue. Well, she couldn't have that. She needed him. And have him, she would.
Her body was crying out for him, every inch of skin, every pore, every sense needed to be drowned in him and only him.
She felt his hand still around her left wrist loosely. She was able to maneuver it until her hand was now underneath his and she grasped it, intertwining his fingers with hers.
His eyes flickered to their joined hands.
She squeezed them tightly to let him know how badly she needed him.
And when he still didn't move, she moaned again, arching her back into him.
His eyes snapped to hers.
"Make love to me, Jacob."
She saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed, his breathing picking up again.
And just like that, the new Bella raised herself up until she was inches from his lips, their hands never leaving each other, their bodies still joined. With her right hand now moved back up to his face so she could cup it, she whispered to him.
"Love...me...Jake."
She gave him a smile, a sexy smile that she knew she had never ever worn before. And then she kissed his nose sweetly and then his forehead and then both cheeks and then his chin...by the time she pulled back to place another sweet kiss somewhere else, his lips were crushing hers and he pushed her back down roughly and followed her, their hands still joined.
He began thrusting mercilessly into her again, this time even faster. His left hand grabbed her right one from his face and brought it up above her head like the other and gripped it just as tightly, interlacing their fingers.
She was moaning uncontrollably now. He released her lips and began kissing the side of her face, his hips still moving up and down at jackhammer speed now that he had moved up onto the desk with her. She began to thrust her own hips, working to match his speed. She was running towards the edge and was about to jump off.
He worked his way down to her jawline and took the skin gently between his teeth. She gripped his hands tighter with the oncoming release. She knew he could sense she was close. He went to remove his right hand to help push her over that edge. She tightened her grip almost to the point of pain. "No!"
He let go of her skin and his head shot up to give her a confused look.
She looked up at him pleadingly. "Stay with me."
His eyes widened but he nodded and went to kiss her neck again.
"Kiss me."
He raised his head and placed his lips on hers.
She thrust her hips faster, meeting him now with equal speed. She began to moan loudly into his mouth. Her body tightened and every part began to be washed in flames.
He tore his lips away and whispered to hers. "Come, baby. Right now. All over me. Let me feel you."
And with that she gave a final cry as her body went rigid and exploded as she arched her back for the final time, her toes curling. He placed his mouth quickly back on hers to smother the sound. She made him release her left hand but gripped his left one strongly with her right. Her left hand made its way to his back; the nails dug in and scratched downwards, drawing blood she was sure, making him cry out in pain into her mouth.
Her body began to relax as it came down from its high as she lowered herself back to the desk, removed her nails from his back and loosened her grip on his hand. His free hand had snaked its way underneath her back and was rubbing gently, trying to calm her down. He slowly pulled back from her, kissing her lips gently before pulling away.
She stared up at him through half-open eyes, her chest heaving in and out.
He was breathing just as hard.
"Fuck Bells, that was-"
She pulled herself up to him in a fluid movement and covered his mouth with hers, her free hand taking hold behind his neck once again as she pulled him into her more.
She massaged his tongue with hers slowly, sensually, and then she pulled her mouth from his, kissing his lips on the way while keeping her face near his and her hand around his neck.
He looked down at her and the new Bella said what she had wanted to say this whole time. Why she needed him so badly.
"I love you."
His face didn't change. But she saw it in his eyes. Something in them flashed.
The old Bella would have been freaking out, taking it back, worrying about her husband and marriage and his wife upstairs and pulling her hair out at the thought of possibly scaring the crap out of Jacob, making him never want to see her again.
But this new Bella didn't care, didn't hesitate. Right now, all that mattered to her was him. And she still needed something else from him.
One final thing.
They hadn't moved, just lay there, staring into each other's eyes, breathing heavily, he still buried deep within her.
And then his breathing picked up. He flickered his eyes down to her lips, back up to her eyes and then back down to her lips. He licked his and then leaned in slowly, taking hers in a sweet, soft, very gentle chaste kiss.
He then grasped her with his free arm and laid her back down gently, going with her when he did, never breaking the kiss.
He took her free hand in his and pushed it back behind her like their other two still were. He grasped it and intertwined their fingers.
He moved his lips with hers sensually before pulling away to raise his head up a little to watch her. He tightened his grip on both her hands and pulled out slowly until his tip was at the entrance.
She saw that same flash in his eyes and then he pushed back in until he was buried to the hilt, making her gasp. He did the same thing, again and again and again. And then he picked up speed.
She could feel her second orgasm stirring but that wasn't her focus at the moment. Right now, it was all about him.
He pushed harder and faster and deeper. She bit her lip to keep her moans quiet. He was panting heavily and sweat was dripping off him onto her but his eyes never once left hers.
She watched him work up to his release, him making sure to connect to her as deeply as possible with every movement.
He was beginning to grunt and his thrusts became more powerful, more urgent.
His grip on her hands was getting tighter and tighter. He was getting close.
And then her lips acted of their own accord. "Come, baby. Right now. All over me. Let me feel you."
She knew he was getting ready to pull out any second and would shoot his load onto her stomach but she wasn't going to have that. She wanted to taste him. No, she needed to taste him. Even though she had in the past, she had never truly tasted him before.
His eyes blinked but his pace never slowed. And then he buried his head in her neck, his mouth at her ear, their hands still joined. He was huffing into her ear, mixed with a few grunts. He was pushing harder and harder. Any second now he would fly off her and pull out, jacking off onto her.
She turned her head and whispered into his ear. "I want all of you, Jake. Every last drop. Please, baby. Let me taste you."
A grunt and another hard thrust answered her.
Any second now.
She then moaned into his ear, licked his lobe and bit down into the side of his neck.
She heard a strangled yell. "Belllllllaa!"
And then she felt his dick pulse and he exploded within her, hot liquid flowing throughout her recesses. His hands were gripping her painfully tight as he jerked and spasmed uncontrollably, groaning and moaning wildly into her ear as she felt his hot spurts deep within her. His release triggered her own and she cried out against his neck, getting one of her hands loose as she pressed it to his ass and held him to her tightly, rejoicing inside when she felt him strained against her in his orgasm.
She removed her teeth and shrieked quietly into his ear. "Jacob!"
As they convulsed against each other, gripping each other tightly, Bella's mind whirled.
Okay. She hadn't been expecting that.
She never really thought he'd give her that. Especially after earlier tonight.
She frowned at the thought.
How could she have ever let him go?
He was a part of her now. And not in the literal sense that applied to ten seconds ago but higher than that. Deeper than that.
No going back now.
She closed her eyes and smiled as she came back down to earth.
She could hear him breathing harshly against her neck but he was coming back down, too.
With her free hand, she massaged his scalp.
She chuckled and turned to him, kissing the side of his face, his ear, his neck, anything she could reach. And then she began kissing his shoulder and moving her way back into his neck. She then kissed her way up back to the side of his face and up to his sweaty hair. Then she pulled their joined hands down to her, releasing his so she could kiss each fingertip, each finger, every ridge in his palm and the back of his hand. Before she could start on his arm, she felt him raise his head off her neck.
She turned to look at him with a huge smile on her face. He was still breathing erratically.
He placed his sweaty forehead to hers, kissed her quickly and then began to pull out of her, getting up.
She whimpered and grabbed his arm to keep from moving. "No. Stay."
He leaned down and kissed her lips again. "Baby, we have to go back up before they realize we're gone. Plus, we made a hell of a lot of noise in here. I wouldn't be surprised if they were standing just outside the door, waiting to ambush us when we walked out." He chuckled darkly.
She placed her right hand on his cheek. "I don't care."
His eyebrows mashed together as he looked at her in confusion. "If they get up and find we're both missing, you will care."
She dropped her hand and her eyes, focusing on his chest instead. She couldn't bear to see his face when she said to him what she was going to say next.
"I don't...want...to...be away from you." She could only whisper it. For some reason, she felt more insecure than ever, admitting her feelings to him. She never had before. She felt like they had switched up roles at some point. Hadn't Jacob been feeling the same way towards her earlier in the day? Hadn't he been the one feeling insecure?
He grabbed her chin gently and pulled her head up to look at him.
"Bells, moment of truth time. I need to know. No more fucking around. No more back and forth. Forget him and forget her for a second and all the other things tying us down. Nothing but brutal honesty right now. Don't spare my feelings because it'll hurt worse if you do. So don't lie to me or just tell me what you think I want to hear. Okay?"
She got angry and was about to retort when he placed a finger to her lips gently.
"I wasn't saying you were just then. I'm talking about what I'm going to ask you. And I want your honest answer no matter what. Deal?"
She nodded.
"Did you mean what you said before?"
She frowned. "Said what before?"
He took in a breath. "That you...love...me?"
She looked at him for a second. Everything in her heart was screaming that she tell him the truth. He had asked for the truth. No matter what. And as much as it might make her wince and make him run as far from her as he could, she at least owed him that.
She took a deep breath. She then brought her right hand up and grasped his that was at her mouth, turned it over and kissed it, holding it against her cheek. She could see the worry in his eyes getting worse and worse with every action of hers. She didn't want to see that anymore. She wanted to see him smile, happy.
"Yes."
"You really mean that? Because once it's out there, Bells, that's it. You can't take it back. Do you understand?"
She nodded.
"So do you? Mean that then?"
She smiled meekly and nodded again. "Yes."
He froze. He didn't move. He stayed staring at her, letting her cradle her cheek with his hand.
She began to get worried. She had scared him now, didn't she? He wouldn't ever want to see her again. That thought alone made her struggle for air that didn't seem to be coming fast enough.
And then he leaned down and kissed her.
He pulled back, smiling, and began to move off of her.
She whimpered again, trying to hold his hand to make him stay.
"Stay with me, Jake. Please."
"Honey, listen to me. We can't stay down here. We can't."
Bella sat up, letting him move completely off her, and slowly lifted herself off the desk to stand.
She began to search for her pants when Jake reappeared with them in hand, his jeans already on and zipped up.
She snatched them out of his hand and began to get dressed, thankful for the light from the window making it better for her to see. The task was a little more difficult than normal, with her legs being weak and all.
Once she was dressed, she felt his hands on her shoulders and she turned to face him with his shirt in his hand.
"Baby, hear me out. Listen. Do these two days with me. I know it's not gonna be easy and I promise I won't give you any more crap about him, alright? Do these two days and then we'll go back on Sunday. And then we'll only have one more day to be apart. Just one. But we can talk to each other then since it won't be as tight as it is here. And then, Tuesday, you'll be with me. I'm all yours on that day. And we'll figure things out from there, okay?"
Bella nodded and sighed. "That sounds more like three days to me, Jacob Black."
He laughed and hugged her. "Yeah, but you'll be okay. You're tough, honey. Stronger than any person I've ever known."
She pulled away and smiled and then cautiously made her way back to the door. She felt him grab her hand and lead her to it. He stopped in front of it and sighed. She felt him grab her and then his lips on hers. He pulled away to whisper. "Bells, no matter what happens, I want you to know that this isn't gonna be easy for me, either. But I'll make it. Because of you. Every time I see your smile or hear your laugh or hell, just feel your presence, I'll know everything's gonna be okay. And tonight, that was...there are no words for it."
His lips were near hers so she reached up and kissed his nose and then laid her head on his chest.
He kissed her hair. "I'm not gonna lie, Bells, that was the best night of my life right there. I don't think I've ever felt like that, ever. I came the hardest I've ever come in my fucking life. It took me damn near five minutes just to be able to breathe again. You were fucking sexy as hell. And wild. Like an animal. Biting me like that, holy fuck!"
She laughed and then kissed his chest right on the spot where she heard his heart beating before laying her head back down. "Sorry."
He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her. "Don't be, honey. That was fucking hot!"
She laughed again, hugging him tight. "Oh, I really don't want to leave this room right now."
He kissed her head. "I know, honey, but we have to. Let me check to see if the coast is clear. If it is, I'll come back and get you. If it's not, then I want you to wait here. Okay?"
She nodded. He hugged her again and then kissed her. "Just don't...forget what I said, Bells. Okay? Promise?"
She nodded and then looked up at him. "I promise."
He kissed her again and sighed. "Okay. I'll be back. Stay here."
He removed his arms from around her, leaving Bella feeling cold and empty. He released her hand and then went to open the door. He froze and then turned around again and kissed her quickly. "For good luck." She couldn't see it but she just knew he was winking at her. She chuckled quietly. Then he opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him.
Bella took a deep breath and waited. Okay, no shouts or crashes or thuds so far, that was a good sign, right? Crap, why didn't she think about the volume? Oh right, because she hadn't been thinking at that moment! The need for him was way too strong for trivial things such as sound. And funnily enough, it wasn't even close to being sated. Jake was right. She was a freakin' wild animal. Even after all that tonight, she only wanted more.
The door opened causing her to jump and gasp at the same time.
"Relax, honey. It's just me."
He came in and grabbed her hand.
"Well?"
He snorted. "Can you believe everyone's still asleep? I mean I only cracked the doors a bit but everyone's still up there. She's down for the count. Edward's snoring away. Blondie is in her casket with her hands crossed over her chest. And Emmett, seeing him full frontal on the bed like that?"
He shuddered. "You have no idea what you mean to me, Bells. That is not an image I want burned into my brain for the rest of my life. But I did it. For you."
She giggled. "My hero."
He laughed and kissed her nose. "Yeah, yeah. Anyway, let's head back up. Come on. I'll clean all this up tomorrow."
He led her out the door and then closed it behind them. He then walked them down the hallway back to the kitchen. Bella looked around her. This really was a huge house. The hallway was like one of those large ones you see in mansions in movies. She could swear that if she said one word it would echo throughout the space.
Jake had apparently chosen the last room on the left to bring her to. He had passed up the other four doors on either side. Even though there were only five bedrooms upstairs, Ness hadn't given them a tour of this hallway. What could possibly be down here?
She moved closer to Jake and whispered. "What are all these rooms?"
"Um..." He stopped and lifted their joined hands pointing to each door in turn. "Bathroom, Closet, Exercise Room and Library." Bella's eyes widened. "Library?"
He laughed and kissed her on the cheek. "Thought you'd like that. It's not very big but Carlisle's a fanatical reader and this used to be their house, so..."
Bella nodded and bit her thumbnail. Wow, he and Ness really had it made. This house alone was testament to that fact.
He kissed her forehead. "I'll see if I can sneak you in there tomorrow. Or you could just go take a look yourself. But I'd much rather if we could check it out together, maybe get you a nice little short skirt and some heels and 'discuss some overdue book fees'?" He wiggled his eyebrow suggestively at her.
She chuckled. "And what? Punish you for not respecting the fine works of literature of the free world and their authors by not returning them on time?"
"As long as there's some sort of punishing involved, I could care less what it's for. And a ruler, that would be kind of hot." She arched her eyebrows at him and he laughed. "Plus there's a small little rolling ladder thing in there. It's not the best but I think it's sturdy enough. Might be interesting." He winked at her and she smacked his arm.
"Jacob Black! You are positively the horniest, dirtiest man I have ever met!"
He grinned. "Yeah, but that's why you love me."
She hit his arm again. He laughed and pulled her into him. "Sorry, baby. Too soon?"
She scoffed in disgust and pushed his head away and then began to walk away.
He grabbed her hand and whirled her around to meet him. "Aww, come on, don't be mad, honey. I was only kidding."
She wasn't really mad. She knew he was only kidding. But she decided to play with him a bit.
She gave him her infamous pout, pulled her hand away and crossed her arms.
She turned her head from him and she felt his arms wind around her, pulling her close.
"I'm sorry, honey. I was just trying to make you laugh. Please don't be mad at me."
She took a deep breath. "You know, Jake. I just don't think you're taking this seriously." She looked up at him and she could see he was worried that he had fucked up. "I mean, you really could be more understanding about this whole thing and I think...I think you need to take a chill pill, buddy. Relax. I'm only fucking with you." She laughed and pushed into him, knocking him back playfully.
Who was this Bella? She was laughing and having fun and not feeling guilty and remorseful, scratching repeatedly at the invisible 'A' pinned to her chest, after she just broke her vows? Again? What the hell?
"Why you little-" She began to move away from him quickly when he caught her and pushed her into a wall, kissing her silly. She was laughing into his lips. "You think that's funny, do you Bells? Getting me all worried that I said something to make you upset? Oh, you are gonna get it!"
She sighed contentedly when he began to kiss her neck. "Promises, promises."
He lifted his head and looked at her, grinning wickedly. "Oh don't you worry. I promise I will get you back for that one." She smiled in return and rolled her eyes. "Uh huh." He laughed and kissed her once more, placing his hand on the wall next to her head, leaning into her.
He pulled back to look at her, the smile melting off his face. Bella frowned in response. What was wrong? "And incidentally Bells..." He brought his left hand up to caress her cheek. "I do love you."
Her eyes widened. He chuckled and dropped his hand.
"I'm sorry I didn't say it after you did. I just...wanted...to make sure..." His eyes pleaded with her for her understanding.
She looked down at their feet for a minute.
"It's just...after our little conversation tonight, I...wanted to make sure you knew what you really wanted. I mean...I'm not saying that we're going to...uproot our lives and drop everything first chance we get but..." He lifted her chin up gently with his index finger so she could look at him. "I do love you. I know it's fast and scary and maybe we're not letting our heads catch up with our hearts just yet but I feel something for you that I've never felt for anyone before. Even her."
Bella swallowed.
He sighed, letting go of her chin and began rubbing his head. "It's like you're...a part of me, like you're supposed to be with me, in my life, always. I don't know how to explain it. And I'm not telling you this to freak you out or make you run or put demands on you. I figure if we can tell each other we love each other and mean it, we can tell each other anything. Would you agree?"
She nodded slowly while biting her lip. He stopped rubbing his head.
"Hey. I'm not trying to make you nervous. So stop biting that lip. As much as it's a turn on, you're worrying me right now, Bells." He laughed but there was a touch of nervousness behind it.
She released her lip. "I'm not nervous."
He arched his eyebrows. "No?"
She shook her head. "No."
He began to rub his head once again. "Okay. So listen, here's what I'm thinking. And then tell me what you think. I thought a lot about what you said before. I went over and over it constantly in my head and...you were right. I was being a complete dick to you about the whole jealousy thing. And you didn't ever once act that way towards me. So, I was wrong there, I'm sorry. Look, I can't promise that I won't get jealous, but I can promise not to take it out on you or to hold you responsible for it or to make things uncomfortable for you. I will do my best to keep it in check."
Bella nodded once again.
"And...now that I know how you really feel...it's a little easier and makes me feel a bit better about things, like I can breathe. But please, Bells, I just have to ask you one thing. Please, please don't let me see or hear anything I shouldn't. That's all I ask. And I will do the same for you. Please. That would kill me."
Bella nodded and looked down, remembering how her heart stopped upstairs when she thought Jake and Ness had been having sex down the hall from her. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I won't, Jake, but you have to realize one thing, if he kisses me or holds me or does anything affectionate, I can't just push him away. Just like you can't do that to her. I mean..." She sighed and put her head into her hands and then dropped them, looking up at him. "We still care about them, they're good people and they do love us." Jake winced.
"And we love them. So we shouldn't do anything more to hurt them than we already are." She could feel her voice breaking a little. She knew how she felt now. She knew why it was driving her so crazy, her feelings for Jacob. She hadn't even known until her subconscious revealed it to her and Jake both at the same time tonight. Instinctually, she loved him. But that didn't ease any of the guilt or make this any easier.
Jake lowered his eyes and nodded and he bit down on his lip. Bella chuckled internally at the sight.
She took a breath. "So what you're saying is, I gather, is that we're going to take this one day at a time? Is that the gist of it?"
He nodded again but didn't look up. "Yeah. I just think it would be easier and this way nobody feels pressured or stressed to make any decisions or do anything rash. To see where it goes, I guess."
Bella smiled. "Okay. Sounds like a good idea. That works."
Jake nodded again but still didn't look up. He was still gnawing on his bottom lip.
She placed her hand on his right cheek. "You know, as much as that's a turn on, Jake, you're worrying me right now."
His eyes snapped up to hers and he laughed, letting his lip go. She smiled wider.
He leaned in and kissed her again. He pulled back and placed his forehead on hers, closing his eyes. "I love you, Bells."
She let her hand climb up into his hair, stroking his scalp. "I love you, too, Jake."
There were so many feelings associated with these words in the air. So many complicated emotions but Bella didn't let them consume her. She wanted to enjoy the moment. She meant it when she said it and so did he. And that was all that mattered.
He took a deep breath, kissed her lips quickly and then her nose and then pulled away. "Come on, we should get going."
She nodded. He grabbed her hand and began to walk them down the hall and into the kitchen. They were just about to go into the living room when a voice carried throughout the room.
"Bella?"
They both froze. Bella began panicking. That was Edward's voice. Shit.
"Bella, love, are you down here?"
She looked up at Jake and he looked down at her. The voice was getting closer.
Her brain took over for her thankfully and overrode the panic. She pulled Jake's hand up to her lips and kissed it and then pulled him to the glass door leading out to the porch. "Just...follow my lead, okay? Act really drunk."
He snorted and she lightly smacked his arm, as she quietly opened the door and they slipped through, closing it without a sound. She led them to the table nearest the door and sat down, dropping Jake's hand as he plopped down in the seat next to her.
He smirked at her. "Bells, how do you expect to pull this off? You're a horrible liar and you know it."
She glared at him. "I don't think I've done too badly for these past five weeks, wouldn't you say?"
He laughed and looked down at his feet as he resituated himself in the chair to look 'drunk'. "Touche."
She turned her head just in time to see the kitchen light flick on.
She turned back to Jake and took a deep breath to steady her nerves.
He smiled warmly at her. She felt herself beginning to smile in return so she looked down and bit her lip. She couldn't be too obvious right now. Jake was right, she was a bad liar.
"Sho, doesh thish shlur sound goodd enoughh for youuh?"
She looked up and narrowed her eyes. "Overdoing it, Jake."
He laughed as he crossed his ankle over the other on the chair he had put his feet up on.
Then she heard the door slide open.
"Bella, what on earth are you doing out here? I've been looking for you everywhere. Where have y-"
Jake raised his hand in greeting, smiling widely. "Heyyy Eddie boy."
Bella winced. Edward hated nicknames. Especially that one. Well, she had to hand it to Jake, he looked drunk enough. She turned around to find a very shocked and annoyed Edward.
Edward nodded curtly in Jake's direction. "Jacob."
"Hi, honey. What are you doing up?"
He came to stand beside her. "What am I doing up? What are you doing up? I thought you were sick."
Bella smiled the smile she knew he loved. "I think I am coming down with something, honey. I woke up and came downstairs for some water. I didn't want to wake you. And then I found Jacob here...um..." She turned to look at Jake and bit her lip, looking somewhat embarrassed like she didn't know what to say. "Well...um...he had a few drinks and well, we started to talk and I didn't want to leave him all alone down here so we came outside so we wouldn't wake anyone else up."
She looked at Edward and gave him a pointed look, making her look like she was trying to keep something hidden from Jake.
Edward looked at her confused. "'Till four in the morning? What could you possibly be talking about?"
She gave him another meaningful look while slowly enunciating each word. "Nothing important, honey. Just stuff."
Edward narrowed his eyes at her and enunciated just as slowly. "Oh really? What stuff?"
She glared at him.
Jake spoke up next. "Shorry Eddie. I jhust was having a few beersh and Bella here thought I had one too manny."
Edward's brows arched. "Really?"
Bella gave him a tight smile. "Yes, honey."
"Yeahh, I didn't mean to monopolizesh your wife here. It's jhust I needed to talk to her about a few thingsh."
Edward crossed his arms and glared at Jake.
"Oh and what would they be?"
Bella gritted her teeth. "Edward!"
Bella would be lying if she said she didn't feel guilty at all during this whole charade. A part of her still loved him. And she didn't like deceiving him like this. But another part of her loved Jake, too. And she couldn't lose him. Not now. Not after everything. Not after tonight.
Jake held his hand up to Bella a little wobbly. "No, noh, it'sh okay. I mean, the man hash a right to know where his wife'sh been." He then turned to Edward. "Well Eddie, it seemsh Nessh and I are having problemsh."
Bella's eyes widened and she saw Edward's do the same. She hadn't expected that one. What if Edward asked Ness about it? But she guessed if anyone could handle it, Jake could.
"No, Jacob. That can't be. You guys are perfect for each other."
Bella turned her head and grimaced.
Jake laughed. She turned back to look at him and he was giving her that look with that twinkle in his eye. He hadn't missed her expression. Dammit, Jake!
He looked down at the table. "I ushed to think sho, too. But thingsh change, I guessh."
Bella kept her eyes trained on him and when he lifted his head, he offered her a small smile. A smile that, to the outside world, could be considered friendly with just a hint of understanding. She offered something similar in return.
Edward cleared his throat. "What kind of problems, Jake?"
Bella's mouth dropped open in horror. "Edward! That's none of our business!"
Regardless of a lie or not, that was just plain rude. If he really thought it was the truth that they were trying to convince him it was, then why the hell would he ask something like that? She had never known him to be that rude. Ever.
Edward smiled sheepishly. "You're right, love. Forgive me. My apologies, Jacob. I didn't mean to pry."
Jake waved his hand dismissively. "Pssh. It'sh fine, Eddie. No worriesh. But I shhould let you guysh get back to bed. It was selfishh of me to keep Bella up thish late. Thanksh Bella for the advicesh."
She smiled warmly at him. "Anytime."
Jake went to stand up but wobbled a little, grasping the table for support, shaking it.
Edward clamped his hand down on Jake's shoulder.
"You alright there, big guy?"
Jake gave him an 'I'm okay' sign and began to move away from the table, Edward keeping his hand hovering near Jake's back.
Jake stopped and clamped a hand down on Edward's shoulder. "Eddie, you've got an incrediblle woman over thereh. You're luckyy. You reallly are. She'sh a good onee."
Edward smiled warmly at her. "That she is."
Bella smiled back meekly and lowered her eyes.
Jake let go of Edward's shoulder and took another step forward. Then he stopped again and turned towards Edward.
"Eddie, would it be okayy if I gave her a little hugg?" He gave Edward the tiny sign with his fingers while wobbling.
Edward chuckled. "I guess not. Just keep your hands where I can see them."
Jake laughed. Bella rolled her eyes.
Jake turned back towards her and very slowly made his way to her.
He extended his arms out to her, still a little wobbly and finished the two steps to get to her.
She chuckled and put her arms around him lightly while he hugged her tightly but in a friendly way. "Thanksh, Bella. You reallly are suchh a goodd person."
She smiled. "You're too much, Jacob. But you're welcome."
Edward smiled at her and she smiled in return as she lightly patted Jake's back.
He began to pull away but before he did, he whispered in her ear. "Three days." And then placed a feathery kiss on her lobe before stepping away from her, grinning widely.
She gave him a warm smile. "Goodnight, Jacob."
He began to wobble back to Edward. "Goodnightt, Bella."
Edward clapped his back. "Alright, buddy, let's get you upstairs."
Jake shooed him. "Nahh, man. I'll be alrightt. Thanksh, though."
Edward smiled good-naturedly. "I think Bella would feel better if I came along. Just to make sure you get settled in okay."
He looked at Bella pointedly and when Jake turned to her, she gave him a warm smile. "Yeah, Jacob. It might be a good idea and it would make me feel better knowing you got up there okay."
He looked a little annoyed but he acquiesced. "Okayy. If it'lll make you feelll betterr."
Bella nodded and Edward went to slide open the door for him. As he did, Jake gave her a wink.
Her heart swelled inside her chest. She almost let a big smile play out on her face, giving her away, but she bit her lip and looked down, smiling just a little.
By the time she looked back up, Jake had gone in the house and Edward was right behind him.
He leaned out the door quickly. "Bella, I'm just gonna take him upstairs and get him into bed in one of the unused rooms so he doesn't disturb Ness. I'll be right back, love."
He whispered the last part once he mentioned Ness' name so Jake wouldn't hear. She smiled gratefully at him and nodded.
He smiled back and walked inside.
She sat down in the chair she had been in before. She placed her elbows on the table in front of her and placed her head in her hands.
That had been so damn close!
She sighed.
She knew she should feel worse about lying to her husband, deceiving him and betraying him. But strangely enough, right now, she couldn't feel that way. Not completely at least, as much as she should have. And that made her feel horrible.
She raised her head and clasped her hands together, holding her mouth against them as she looked out over the beach.
Something happened tonight.
Something changed.
She felt different.
And even though she could now recognize and label those feelings where Jacob was concerned, she still felt...different somehow.
It was weird.
She loved Edward.
But she also loved Jake.
She didn't want to betray her marriage.
But if that was the only way she could be with him right now, she knew in her heart she'd do it.
She liked Ness. She was a good person who always treated Bella well. She actually might have been someone Bella might have befriended if Edward didn't work for her or Bella wasn't sleeping with her husband.
She winced. She knew she had to call a spade a spade. No more bullshitting or tweaking things to make herself feel more comfortable. Bottom line, she was a cheater. Even though she had only slept with four men in her life, Jake being the most recent, she felt like a slut. But she wasn't sex-starved. Except when it came to Jake, that is. But that's not what drove her into his arms in the first place.
Truthfully, she had no idea what prompted her to start seeing him. It's not like she was having problems with Edward. Not really. Except that one tiny thing-no, she wouldn't go there. She shut her eyes and opened them, taking a deep breath. Still, that wouldn't push her to look for someone else. Edward was good to her, always catered to her, took care of her, and was the perfect doting husband, the entire package every woman wants.
He had always put her first. Even though he had been working a lot lately, he still put her first. She knew all she had to do was call him and he would drop everything and run home to her.
So everything was fine. Granted, the sex slacked a little, like it always did in marriages for the most part. Last night had been their first time since she started seeing Jake. She cringed when she thought of how Jake would be upset if he knew. Especially, right after sleeping with him. But, like he said, he didn't want to see or hear anything he shouldn't. It would only hurt him and make him mad. So, she wouldn't bring it up. That definitely made her feel slutty.
And then Jake came into her life. Warm, goofball, loving sometimes dominant passionate short-tempered always-driving-her-crazy Jake came into her life.
It's not like he gave her that smoldering look, said 'Let's fuck,' and she followed him into the backseat of his car and that was it. That's now how it happened at all.
She had bumped into him.
Not once.
Not twice.
Three times.
He had been his usual flirtatious self and she knew his type (or thought she did) and made it very plain she wasn't interested until she caught sight of his wedding ring. That didn't ease her disgust, though. It only made him worse in her eyes. But then he flashed that smile and assured her he wasn't looking, that he was quite happy with his wife and she felt instantly at ease. Yeah, they flirted but they mostly joked back and forth. They both hated being at the event, a glitzy gala for some new client or other or something (Bella really didn't know too much about the advertising world) and their spouses were both off 'kissing ass and making the rounds' as Jake had put it.
She fell easily into conversation with him and he made her feel light and carefree for once at these things that she always accompanied Edward to. He had asked her to dance; she refused, warning him she couldn't. He had grabbed her hand and whisked her onto the dance floor, anyway. And sure enough, she proved her point by stepping on his feet at least twice. After trying to hide his wince along with his laugh, he asked her to leave the leading to him. He was the man, after all. Plus, he was pretty sure he would need the other nine toes. She had smacked his arm and laughed. Thus, the playful relationship began.
Later on, when Edward and Ness found them laughing hysterically sitting at a table, Jake introduced her to his wife and right away, she could see they were 'perfect for each other', as Edward had so eloquently put it. Ness seemed nice but Bella didn't really get to talk to her for too long before Edward was dragging Bella away, insisting politely that they had to leave. Bella had hated to leave (shocking herself and Edward for that matter, usually she couldn't wait to leave) that night but she let Edward lead her away, saying her goodbyes to the other couple.
"We should have them over for dinner one night."
Bella rolled her eyes. She definitely had no idea what she was in store for when she had said that to Edward.
She didn't see Jake again until a few weeks later when she went to the office to drop something off for Edward. He was leaving and she was just on her way in. After a friendly hello and some light teasing, he had asked her if he could take her to lunch seeing as how he now had the rest of the day off. Apparently, he had wanted to take Ness to lunch but she had to cancel last minute due to a very important client meeting that had come up. She accepted but ran upstairs to drop off the jacket and tie Edward had asked her for. He had a dinner with some of the guys and some of the higher executives in the company and needed something to change into later. It was a good thing Bella was off that day.
She checked with Tanya and ran it into his office. He had thanked her, kissing her, when he asked what she was doing the rest of the afternoon. She was about to tell him when Tanya buzzed in, reminding him of the meeting that was going to commence in five minutes' time. He had given her that apologetic look, kissed her and told her he'd see her later and that he hoped she had a good day.
She had left and made her way back downstairs. She didn't get a chance to mention her lunch with Jake but she would tell him later about it. It was no big deal after all.
Little did she know that she would be fucking Jake in the back of his car afterwards.
It had started with a kiss.
A kiss that wasn't meant to happen.
A kiss that led to some hair grabbing and then some tongue and then some groping.
A kiss that lasted much longer than it should have.
A kiss that couldn't be bothered to worry if anyone was watching.
A kiss that made her go weak in the knees and yet wet in the panties at the same time.
A kiss that once broken, with both parties staring wide-eyed at each other while gasping for breath, began again, leaving them moaning into each other's mouths.
A kiss that led to Jake picking her up and opening the back door of his car and laying her back gently but urgently before crawling in after her, closing the door behind him.
A kiss that turned all common sense and reason to mush and pushed all other thoughts away leaving only room for one. Need. Not the same need she had felt tonight. That had been so much stronger, but still need none the less. And a pretty heavy one at that.
A kiss that had them ripping each other's clothes off, trying to get to the other as fast as possible.
A kiss that made her kiss and touch and lick and nibble on places she had never done any of these things on her husband.
A kiss that had her spreading her legs and begging him to fuck her, the need to feel him within her so great.
A kiss that had him hot and hard inside her, ramming into her so fast she was sure he would break her in two, them moaning and groaning freely at the skin on skin connection. Bella had needed him so badly it never entered her mind that she just let this man she barely knew inside her without a condom when she made Edward wear one each and every time they made love.
A kiss that had her orgasming in two minutes (one of the greatest of her life at that point and only one of the greatest in her many life-altering ones with Jake since) thanks to his expert hands and movements.
A kiss that had him coming nearly three minutes later, all over her stomach, that set the precedent for their times together in the future. He had yelled her name in his moment of bliss (she had only screamed expletives during hers).
A kiss that had them laying together, clinging to each other tightly, breathing harshly into the other's ear, marveling and yet dreading at what they had just done.
Needless to say, Edward never knew about that lunch.
That had been five weeks ago.
Almost six now.
And now her life was completely upside down, spun around and turned completely inside out. Now she was in love with one man (who just happened to be married himself) while still loving and being married to another.
Bella sighed.
Just like she had thought before.
It was all different.