Just Stay With Me

by cantobycomeoutandplay

AU/AH. Sometimes when we least expect it, the one thing we never knew we needed walks right in the door. Reposted. Posted chapters currently being beta'd. Will be finished

20. Sweetest Words

A/N: Beta'd version inserted 12/13/22. A HUGE thank you to my beta for not only kicking me in the tail to get me going on this story and others but also for making this a thousand times better. And thank you so much to all of you who have stuck with this story as long as you have. I appreciate every review, fave, and alert. :)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer, the creator of Twilight.

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Bella felt herself being jerked awake. She opened her eyes and found Jacob sitting there with a smirk on his face, reading a magazine. She blinked a few times and caught Jake's smirk getting wider. Was Jake actually reading…Cosmopolitan like his life depended on it?

She slowly lifted her head off of Jake's chest and turned towards her window, rubbing her right eye groggily.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

Bella turned back towards Jake to find him unashamedly keeping the magazine in his lap, still open to where he had been reading, and still giving her that playful smirk.

"Hey," she yawned, holding the back of her hand to her mouth. She then rested the side of her face on her chair, watching him tiredly.

"Sleep well?"

Bella could see a knowing gleam in his dark eyes and it made her a little uncomfortable yet curious. Almost like he knew something she didn't want him to know about. "Yeah. How long was I out?"

He shrugged and turned back to the magazine. "Not long." He scanned down the page. "That must've been some dream."

So, that was it. She rolled her eyes. "I knew it. What did I say?"

He smirked again, turning the page. "It wasn't so much what was said as much as it was the sounds you were making that kind of gave it away."

Bella gasped, clapping her hand over her mouth, sitting up and glancing around the cabin with a flushed face. "Shit."

Jake chuckled—goddamn chuckled!—and flipped the page again. "Relax, Bells. You weren't that loud. I'm the only one that heard you, I'm pretty sure."

She bit her lip and settled back into her seat, her arms crossed, staring ahead. "Well, thank God for that. Dammit, I hate it when I do that."

She felt a warm hand on her knee. "It's fine, Bells."

She turned to look at him, completely embarrassed. "I know, but-"

He leaned in closer, his eyes darker than before and whispered to her, "Baby, don't be embarrassed. It was one of the hottest things I've ever heard." He winked, chuckling when her cheeks reddened further, and kissed her hand before moving back. He stared down at her bare ring finger. "You know, Bells, I never got to thank you."

Bella's brows furrowed in confusion. "Thank me?"

He gave her a soft smile. "For coming on this trip with me. For giving us this time together, just us."

She smiled in return but merely laid her head back down on his shoulder.

"You have no idea how much this means to me," he whispered to her as he kissed her forehead.

She could see just how much it did, even if she hadn't already known it. And for once, she didn't feel an overwhelming sense of guilt or a ripping sensation inside her chest because she loved two men. Instead, all she could feel was a strong passion and longing for this one. She could feel peace flooding her senses in knowing that she would be in his bed tonight, and that made her happy; happier than the old version of herself would have ever dared to feel. Happier than this new version of Bella would have ever dared to dream. She felt nothing but warmth and love for this man who clung to her left hand so desperately, kissing her skin so affectionately.

"It means a lot to me, too," she whispered back. He grinned when she leaned up to quickly kiss his cheek.

As she settled back into her comfortable position against him, her eyes fell to the open magazine in his lap. "So, read Cosmopolitan usually, do you?"

He smirked and pointed to the title. "When they have articles like this, yeah, I do."

Bella's eyes narrowed and she sounded out the title. "The '3 musts to get bikini-ready for summer'? Looking to get a bikini wax, are you?"

He started when he glanced at the page before turning it to the previous one. "What? No, Bells, sheesh. I meant this one." He pointed again, this time to the correct title but the cockiness from before was surprisingly absent from his expression.

"'7 Sex Toys That Are Already In Your Bedroom'?" Bella leaned in to get a better look. "Wow, do people really use that setting on their phones for that? What if they get a call and it picks up by accident?"

Jake chuckled. "Well, first of all, making the phone vibrate is necessary so I think getting phone calls is kind of the point. Secondly, whoever's on the other end will get one hell of an earful."

Bella rolled her eyes but laughed along with him. "Uh huh. I don't know, kind of weird if you ask me. If you're going to go that route, why not just buy a vibrator and get it over with?"

That caught Jake's attention. He turned a devious smirk on her. "Does that mean that you have one, Bells?"

Bella rolled her eyes again. "You're such a perv," she snickered. She reached for the magazine but Jake held it away from her, which made her arch an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not done looking at it, Bells," he pouted. "I haven't read everything yet."

She shook her head. "Right. You're reading it, for the article. Okay, well, since you seem to be occupied at the moment, I'm going to use the bathroom quickly."

That smug smirk was back on his face. "Want me to come with you?" He asked huskily, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She snatched his phone before he could react and then got to her feet and climbed over Jake to get into the aisle. Bella smirked down in triumph at his mock glare, leaning down towards him, and holding up the phone. "That's okay, Jake. You're busy reading and with this, I can come all on my own," she quietly teased.

"You're such a tease," he growled before attempting to kiss her. Bella danced out of his way and then made her way back to the bathrooms, chuckling under her breath when she caught a glimpse of Jake's forlorn expression.

It felt good to be back to this kind of teasing between them, light yet filled with promise for the near future. It seemed the farther and farther they were from home, the less she felt suffocated by her life there. Emmett and Jake had both stressed this trip was for her to relax and enjoy her time with the latter and she intended to do just that.

She squeezed into one of the vacant stalls to use. Once she had relieved herself, she washed her hands and glanced at her reflection in the smallest mirror known to mankind. Bella could see the dark circles that were now very prominent underneath her eyes no matter how much concealer she had used that morning. Granted, she hadn't had any nightmares last night but the words spoken outside of Em's house by Edward and the subsequent haunting had taken its toll.

She closed her eyes and shoved away any thoughts of the events from the night prior. She would not think about any of this on her trip with Jake; she refused to ruin it for either of them. She had earned this time to enjoy with him, and enjoy every single second of it she would.

Bella sighed, opening her eyes, and attempted to smooth down her hair and dress. She took a deep breath and forced a small smile onto her face. She was here with Jake and she couldn't be happier…

She cleared her throat quietly and exited the stall, passing a woman who seemed to be anxious to get inside before Bella even stepped out.

Once Bella managed to escape unscathed, she slowly made her way back up to first class, taking the time to clear her thoughts and set her priorities straight, reminding herself not to allow any wallowing or sadness to seep in. One of the flight attendants who had been serving she and Jake passed her, heading back to the galley in coach, most likely to get extra supplies. Bella gave her a thin smile and the woman returned it. Pushing past the curtain leading to first class, she was surprised to find Jake absent from their seats. Bella glanced around in confusion. Had she missed Jake back at the bathrooms? She hadn't seen him on her way back up. He wasn't anywhere in the cabin. Maybe he had needed to stretch his legs while she was otherwise engaged and went walking back in coach?

Bella decided to head to the galley up front and see if the other flight attendant could possibly tell her where Jacob had gone. Her fingers gripped the curtain and she was about to pull it back to ask when she heard the woman's voice purr out, "I offered to meet you in the bathroom but up here is just as good. We need to hurry though before Ali comes back."

Bella's stomach dropped and she felt a lump form in her throat. She closed her eyes, praying, Please don't let it be. Please. Not after everything.

Sure enough, Jake's voice responded and Bella's eyes clenched shut even tighter. This couldn't be happening. Not again…

However, his answer was nothing she expected. "I'm not here to fuck around with you. I came to request that you stop eye fucking me in front of my wife. I'm not interested and it's inappropriate." Bella's eyes opened wide. Had she just heard him right?

The girl laughed. "Oh, is that why you just asked to speak to me privately with the curtain shut behind us? I don't see a ring on your finger, so there's no way you two are married, plus you have different last names on the passenger manifest. Just be honest: you want me. Admit it. You seemed very interested not that long ago when your wife was asleep."

Bella felt a heavy weight settle onto her chest. There was no indication of any of this going on when she had woken up. Jake didn't seem to have eyes for anyone but her in that moment.

"You're right, she's not my wife yet — she's my fiancée. But it doesn't fucking matter what you think she is to me, it's not your business," Jake spoke through clenched teeth. "And in case you missed it waiting back near the bathrooms all alone, I was never fucking interested. Look, I don't want anymore of this bullshit, alright? Just stay the fuck away from me and my girl and we're golden. Stop coming onto me and don't ever touch me again like you just did. Otherwise, we will have a problem, got it?"

"Whatever. Your loss, asshole. I don't like 'em that small anyway."

Bella frowned when Jake laughed mirthlessly. "Trust me, sweetheart, no small loss on my part." Then he said something quieter, right by the edge of the curtain so Bella knew he had moved closer to the girl. "I like 'em sweet, willing, but clean, and with how desperate you are for my dick, no fucking chance."

She heard the girl attempt to retort when Jake cut her off. "Leave us the fuck alone, got me? If not, I'm reporting you the first chance I get. Last warning."

"Fuck you!"

"Not happening but thanks, though," Jake laughed.

Bella somehow broke out of her statuesque state and took a few steps back, waiting. Jake pulled the curtain back and stepped out, his eyes going wide when he saw her. "Bells," he let out in surprise.

She didn't say anything, only watched as the flight attendant appeared behind Jake, giving Bella a wicked smirk.

Jake appeared to be struggling for words so Bella turned around and went back to her seat. After a few moments, Jake followed suit. The flight attendant passed them, still smiling smugly at Bella before disappearing into the next cabin.

"Bells." Her eyes landed on his wary expression. "I know how it looks but I promise you, nothing happened."

"I believe you, Jake," she whispered before taking his hand and squeezing. She then reached for the shopping magazine in the pocket of the seat in front of her. She started to flip through the pages, trying to process everything she had just heard and the thoughts that had rocketed through her mind in the meantime.

"Bella," Jake pleaded. "I need you to know that I—"

She rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand soothingly. "Jake, I meant what I said. I believe you. I heard everything so don't worry." She then brushed her lips over his knuckles before letting him go to continue leafing through the magazine.

For another minute, she felt Jake's eyes on her but she then heard him shift in his seat, picking the Cosmo magazine back up. "Okay," he breathed out.

As Bella looked at the pictures of dozens of useless products mindlessly, she tried to work out everything that had just happened. Jacob had turned the woman down, that much was obvious, however, that wasn't what was bothering her. Anyone who became involved with Jake had to know that women might proposition him from time to time; he was an attractive guy after all. Very attractive.

No, what bothered her was the doubt and fear that had nearly swallowed her whole before she heard Jacob's vocal refusal. She knew why she had thought the worst; anyone with his recent history might plant some seeds of doubt in their significant others' minds. She just hated that she had felt it, that she had those thoughts. Jacob had done everything he could to make their…relationship exclusive and full of more meaning than she ever imagined she had a right to. He loved her and he had proven it time and time again. How could she even entertain the possibility?

She decided it wasn't Jacob that was the problem; it was her.

She was the one jumping to conclusions. If she hadn't heard Jake turn that woman down with her own ears, would she have believed him if she had only come upon him exiting the galley with said woman behind him? She needed to relax and stop worrying so much. She would trust him completely…in time. A huge bombshell had been dropped the past weekend on both of them and they had made it through the aftermath, not entirely unscathed, but they were still standing. It would take time for them to adjust and they both understood that. Bella was going to have to learn to trust this.

It was this train of thought that crashed into other ones. What would happen when they finally returned home on Sunday? What would Edward's reaction be, and better yet, what about Jake? Would he expect her to make a decision right then and there? Jake said he wouldn't but she knew him: he would want one anyway, even if he wasn't actively pushing her. He would show it in his touches, his kisses, his eyes. Could she really do it then and there?

She forced that question away and remembered her concerns for this trip, her nightmares coming to the forefront. The possibility of having one worried her, but after this recent reminder, it now terrified her. What if she said the wrong thing? What if she mentioned things she wasn't yet ready to tell him, if ever? She fervently hoped that she would be nightmare-free the next four days.

Jake's hand taking hers startled her and without realizing it, she pulled away from him. It was an automatic reflex but Jake didn't know that and the look in his eyes reiterated that fact. He tried to hide his shock and hurt by turning back to the magazine, but Bella had caught it anyway.

Crap. How was she going to explain this and convince him it had nothing to do with him? That she would never consciously recoil from one of his touches?

He flipped to the next page in the magazine in his hands. "I knew you didn't believe me," he whispered sadly.

Bella's eyes widened. "What? No, Jake, I do believe you. I'm not mad at you. Not at all."

Jacob bit his lip in thought but still didn't look at her. "Then why?"

She knew what he was asking and it should be so simple to explain. The words were right there but somehow they wouldn't come. "I'm so tired of this. I really am," she mumbled as she dropped her eyes down to her lap. The words were out before she could stop them. She didn't need to look at Jake to know he was on the verge of an explosion. Dammit, she had meant she was tired of pushing him away not the way it sounded but how could she convince him of that now?

Jake sighed and shut the magazine, roughly stuffing it into the pocket on the back of the seat in front of him. "Here we fucking go."

Bella knew he had every right to be mad but her stubborn streak chose that moment to flare up. She was going into defense mode, she knew that, but she couldn't help it. She glared over at him. "Don't even, Jake. I just told you I wasn't mad at you. I was fine."

He snorted. "Yeah, okay. First, you say you're tired of wondering about whether I'm going to fuck around on you or not. I don't know what I have to do to convince you that you're the only one I want. What's it going to take? I mean, okay, about my past and last weekend, I get it. We need some more time to move past that but Bells, how can we do that if you don't trust me? And to top it all off, you're about ten fucking feet from me right now which I didn't even think was possible given that we're on a plane and sitting next to each other, but okay, sure, you're not madl. I told you it wasn't my fault and yet you seem to think that it is. So, yeah, let's keep pretending you're not mad at me. Would you like to sit on the actual wing of the plane, Bella? That way you'd be outside and as far from me as you could get, and then you could just avoid me altogether."

Bella stared at him in disbelief. "So let me get this straight, you're pissed at me because I'm not all over you every second? Is that it?"

He turned and scowled at her. "No, Bella, you don't have to be all over me every second. I didn't say that. Did you hear anything I just said at all? Christ, you drive me so fucking insane sometimes," he muttered.

She crossed her arms, glaring in his direction. "Then what are you saying?" Apologize. You know you need to tell him you didn't mean it.

His jaw clenched. "Look, if you're pissed at me about before then just fucking get it out. I don't want this to continue on our trip, Bella. It was a fucking trial and a half just to get this far and I don't want us to finally get there and spend all of our time pissed at each other. So whatever you have to say, just get it out."

She dropped her arms and turned to face him fully in her seat. "Jake, I am not mad at you. What is it going to take for you to understand that? I don't care about what happened before. I heard you turn her offer down, and honestly, only the stupidest guy on the planet would actually go for a quickie in a galley on an airplane where the woman he's traveling with could easily find him. Last time I checked, you weren't stupid. Now, please hear me when I say, I am not mad at you."

He turned to face her as well. "Then what's the matter? What are you so tired of?"

She sighed this time and looked away. Tell him. "Nothing. I just...forget it." She turned back in her seat. staring out the window.

"Yeah, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You're shutting me out. And Bells," He gently took her hand and forced her to glance back at him. "I can't do that. Not anymore. I know I told you I wasn't going to push, one way or another, and I'm not going to, but you can't shut me out completely. Alright? You can't. We're strained enough as it is." He opened her hand and kissed her palm before whispering to her fingers, "Honey, I want to make this work. I will do anything to make it work but you have to talk to me. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but honey, you have to talk to me. Please."

Bella closed her eyes and winced at the concern she heard in his voice laced with desperation. Tell him already!

"Bells?"

She opened her eyes and kept them glued to her lap. "Look, this has nothing to do with you, alright? Or that woman or anything of that nature. It's not about the trip and it's not about Edward or anything from back home. What I said before, about being tired…I didn't mean that about you or anything to do with us. Can we just leave it at that?"

Silence.

She looked up at him.

His lips were formed in a tight thin line. He looked a little sad but more angry.

"Please?"

His jaw unclenched and then clenched again. He finally nodded, let her hand go, and turned back in his seat to face forward.

Her heart sank. Why couldn't she just be honest with him? After everything he had done for her? He loved her and trusted her. Why couldn't she give him the same in return?

She looked down at the space between them. Jake was right. She was as far away as she could possibly be from him, and that made her feel worse; she hated being far from him to begin with. She despised that she was like this, that's what she had meant before. She wished she could just hit some easy button like on those damn Staples commercials and fix everything. But that wasn't reality unfortunately and this was. She had to do it on her own.

Bella moved in a bit closer. She could feel every old instinct urging her to pull away but she overrode them. This was a time when she needed to be closer to Jake. For good measure, she put her hand on both of his. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, he didn't shirk it off. She mentally berated herself when once again she was confronted with the fact that he really did love her.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to push you away." She winced again as she realized that statement was only half-true. She wasn't trying to. "I just..." She moved closer. "I don't know, I guess I just didn't wake up in the best of moods."

He still didn't look at her when she moved even closer. "You seemed fine to me. Until that happened."

She grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the pads of his fingers. "Yeah, I guess I was okay. And that thing with the flight attendant did piss me off but not because of you. I was angry at myself…for many reasons. And I'm surprised I didn't think of it sooner when I heard what you said earlier."

He still hadn't turned to look at her. "Didn't think of what? What did I say?"

"It wasn't that you said anything wrong. It just...reminded me of something."

"Reminded you of what?"

She moved in a bit closer and smiled in relief when his arm snaked out, wrapped around her body, and pulled her to him. He began rubbing his hand up and down her back, and rested his lips against her head. "I'm just..."

"Just what, Bells?"

"I'm scared of later tonight."

His rubbing stopped.

She had only whispered it to him but it had the impact of an oncoming train. Oh crap. Why couldn't she say anything right today?

"Scared of being with me?" His voice broke at the end and she wanted to kick herself for it.

"Oh my god, no, Jake, that's not what I meant at all! I'm so sorry. I mean…yes, that's part of it but not why you think. I'm scared of when we eventually fall asleep."

He still hadn't resumed his rubbing. He cleared his throat quietly. "Why are you scared of that?"

She sighed in defeat and closed her eyes. Even his heartbeat couldn't keep those thoughts away. Not now. "I'm scared of what you might hear."

She felt Jake take a deep breath. "Bells, what could I possibly hear that scares you that much? What? Your amazing sex dreams about me? Already been there, done that, and it nearly killed me, but in a good way." She couldn't help but smile a little at his attempt to lighten the mood.

A beat later, she felt his lips at her ear. "Or are you afraid you'll be talking about him?"

She leaned into him more. "No. I'm not afraid of that." She sighed deeply. It was time to tell him, let him know what he was in for. "Jake, I have...nightmares. A lot. And they're not...pleasant."

He began to rub her back again. "Bells, most aren't. That's why they're called nightmares."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him to meet his puzzled gaze. "No, it's not...if it was just something I had to deal with alone that would be one thing. But it's not. It gets bad. Really bad."

His eyes narrowed at her as he began to stroke her hair with his other hand. "What do you mean by bad, honey?"

She looked down at his chest. "I scream a lot. I don't always know when I'm doing it, and I've obviously never been privy to it but from what Edward has told me," She was surprised again when she didn't see a reaction from Jake at the mention of Edward's name. Yet again, he was completely focused on her. Could this man be any more amazing? And could she feel any worse for making him think he was anything less? "It gets pretty bad. It scares the bejesus out of him and some nights, back in the day anyway, Emmett would come over to sit with me whenever Edward had to work late or needed a break or something. Even Emmett said it's frightening, and you know Emmett, Jake. Nothing scares him. But this does, and I can't control it. All I know is it wakes everyone up and freaks them out, makes it difficult for them to get back to sleep. For a while, Edward wouldn't even stay in the same room with me. It scared him that badly."

Jake narrowed his eyes even more.

"It's not that he was trying to abandon me, Jake. It's just, well, he just couldn't handle it sometimes. And I don't blame him. We were going through a...rough time. And those were the nights Emmett would come to watch over me. Edward's got a better handle on it now since he knows what to expect..." She trailed off, looking away, caught in memories she didn't really want to be in.

"What happens in these nightmares?"

Bella glanced back up at him. "Many things." Just the thought of nightmares past hurt badly. She began to pull away, not even meaning to truthfully, but he was too close. No, she didn't want to go there. She couldn't.

To Jake's credit, he held onto her tightly and pulled her back into him. "Okay, Bells. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to push. Listen, we'll be fine. You slept fine last night, didn't you? You'll be okay tonight and you'll be okay all of the other nights after."

Bella sighed and laid her head back down on his chest, trying to find that comforting beat. "Jake, you don't know that. It comes and goes randomly."

"Honey, I didn't hear you scream at all while we were down the shore and that weekend was a fucking nightmare in itself. So if anything was to set you off, I'm sure that would have been it. After all of the times you've fallen asleep around me lately, you've never once had these nightmares. Don't you think if you were going to have them, you would have had at least one by now?"

"Jake, I had one last Wednesday night."

"Wednesday?"

"Yes. Wednesday. I had one and it was bad. Edward slept on the couch that night."

She heard him growl. "Why the couch when there's a perfectly good guest room down the hall near you? Why leave the room at all? It doesn't make any goddamn sense. He just fucking abandons you."

Bella closed her eyes tightly. "Jake, I know it sounds bad, but trust me when I tell you, my nightmares are just as hard for him as they are for me. I not only scream but yell out things, too. It's not...easy for him. I don't blame him. If I were in his position, I'm not so sure I wouldn't do the same thing."

She felt Jake take another deep breath and then hold her tighter. "I wish you'd tell me what it is that has him so scared that he feels the need to leave you in the middle of the night while you're screaming and terrified, and I wish I understood what it is that makes you say it's okay and that you forgive him for leaving you like that. I really wish you would. But, like I said, I'm not going to push; you'll tell me when you're ready. As far as tonight goes, don't worry. I think you'll be fine but even if you're not, I'm not going anywhere. There's no couch where we're going so you've got me by your side the entire night. I promise. Everything's going to be okay." He kissed her forehead and pulled her even more into him. "They're just dreams, honey, they're not real. I'll be there and I'll make sure you know that when you wake up. I promise."

She nodded against him. She didn't know how she could explain it to him. It wasn't the actual dreams that scared her, even though they could be quite terrifying; it was the idea of what she might say that frightened her. She was afraid of what he might hear.

"I love you, Bells. Nothing's ever going to change that."

A single tear pushed its way underneath her left eyelid and rolled down her cheek. If she had one of those nightmares tonight and he was there to hear everything, she wasn't so sure he would feel the same. That, more than anything, had her gripping onto his shirt tightly while she buried her face into his chest. She fervently whispered, "I love you, Jake. So much," like some sort of prayer for his forgiveness for her sins, the very sins that had her refusing to seek forgiveness for herself, knowing she didn't deserve it.

She sniffled and wiped her cheek before opening her eyes to find Jake staring at her with an expression she couldn't read.

He leaned in and with his lips hovering above hers, assuring her, "Everything will be alright, honey, I promise."

She nodded and sniffled again before he kissed her. "Trust me," he murmured. She nodded again, promising him and herself silently that she would do her best to put herself into his hands and trust him not to break her. She hadn't known she had a piece of her heart and soul left until Jake chipped the stone casing away from it and cleaned it up, bringing the light to shine down on it. If he broke her, it would break that final tiny piece, shattering her completely. She needed to stop being scared and trust in him. She had let him in this far and she would try her best to give him what he asked for.

Her old urges tried once more to take control, screaming danger and telling her she needed to push him away and keep him back behind the wall with everyone else, but she overrode them. Instead, she gripped onto Jake tighter and buried her face in his neck. "Don't ever let me go," she pleaded in a desperate whisper.

Jacob embraced her more firmly and nuzzled his cheek against her hair. "Never," he promised.

Inhaling his scent, she took several deep breaths, calming the anxieties and fears, the instincts to retreat to her safety zone, and kissed his skin. "Thank you," she murmured. She had been right, Jake's arms were strong enough to hold her here and keep everything and everyone away, to keep her from shattering into a million pieces. She was safe.

"Excuse me," Jake's voice rumbled underneath her ear. Bella opened her eyes to see the flight attendant who had passed her before coming to a stop next to them and smiling wide. "Yes, sir?"

"I was wondering, would it be alright if you attended to us for the rest of the flight? Only you?"

The woman whose name tag said Ali frowned and turned to glance in her co-worker's direction. The girl that had gloated over Bella before was now glaring in their direction. Ali turned back to them and smiled, nodding in understanding. "Of course, sir. Is there anything I can do to make your flight more comfortable? Anything I can get you? Ma'am, would you like another bottled water? Everything will be complimentary, of course."

Bella nodded. "Yes, thank you."

Jake smiled politely. "Thanks, we're okay. Just the water for her. I really appreciate your help and your…understanding."

Ali nodded. "Of course, sir, and ma'am, I'll grab that water for you now. I'll be right back."

Bella gave her a grateful smile and Ali returned it before making her way to the galley.

Jake glanced down at Bella and kissed her nose. He then winked at her, making her smile widen. She could feel herself starting to slightly relax; Jake always had that effect on her.

Ali returned a few moments later with the promised water. Both Bella and Jake thanked her profusely and then Ali moved onto the next set of passengers to see what they needed.

Bella took a few sips of water before placing the bottle on her tray that she had just lowered. She then settled back into Jake's arms, relaxing as he placed tender kisses to her temple intermittently while rubbing her back. She knew she looked like the clingy girlfriend right then, and maybe she was clingy at the moment, but she couldn't care less. Jake was keeping her anchored there, not letting go of her so she could recede back into her shell, the same one he had helped her to come out of in the first place.

She looked up and found the girl Jake had refused glaring in her direction from the front of the cabin. Something in Bella took over, she couldn't help herself. She smirked and turned to plant one on Jake. He chuckled and shook his head, knowing what she was up to but letting her do what she pleased. When she kissed him again, deeper this time, he kissed her back just as passionately. When Bella allowed them both to come up for air with Jake continuing to place kisses near her ear, she turned a triumphant smile in the girl's direction. The girl was livid and she turned, stomping into the front galley, and yanked the curtain closed after she disappeared through it, making Bella laugh.

Jake smiled down at her. "You're something else, Bells."

She turned an innocent smile on him. "I have no idea what you're inferring, Jacob. I was merely kissing my boyfriend or should I say, my fiancé." She snickered at his pleased yet surprised expression. "I must say, I was impressed at your particularly-worded refusal at the end there."

Jake shrugged. He tried to hide a sheepish smile, but failed. "I may have been an even bigger asshole than normal but at least she got the point." He turned to skim his nose along hers. "I'm taken."

Bella smiled happily and gave him a quick kiss. She let out a contented sigh and laid her head back down on his shoulder. "I can't wait until we land."

Jake squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. "Soon, baby. Real soon."

…

Thankfully, it wasn't much longer before they did indeed arrive at Sea-Tac. Ali displayed her megawatt smile and thanked both for flying with their chosen airline as they exited the plane. The other flight attendant scowled in their direction. Bella merely smiled and wrapped her arm around Jake's waist, sticking her hand in the back pocket of his jeans, grasping his cheek lightly. Jake grinned and wrapped his arm around Bella in turn, holding her close.

Once they were out on the ramp, Jake chuckled in her ear, prompting her to turn and look at him. "What?"

"You. I had no idea you could be so territorial, Bells."

She frowned. "I'm not territorial."

"Uh huh, then what was that back there?" He asked her, his dark eyes twinkling with amusement.

Bella shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Right. And you just grabbed my ass in front of her because…?"

She stared straight ahead to the terminal they were entering into. "She needed to know that you're off limits and that you're taken," she sniffed.

"But you're not territorial."

"Nope."

He laughed and then leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You know I love you, right?"

Bella smiled up at him. "Of course I do, but just so you know," She poked him in his chest with her finger. "I'm taking the aisle seat on the flight back."

He laughed again and kissed her cheek. "You got it. As if you have any reason to be worried. You're the only one I want, honey, the only one I see," he finished in a husky whisper.

Her smile lengthened into one of smug satisfaction while a fluttery feeling started in her chest at his words.

…

They had made their way to the baggage claim only to find out the release of the luggage was delayed. Jake led Bella over to a seat and urged her to take it. "I'm going to go check in at the car rental place, that way when we get the luggage, we can just go. Are you going to be okay here for a few?"

Bella smiled and nodded. Jake leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Okay, honey. I'll be right back."

She watched him maneuver through the sea of people until he disappeared. She crossed her arms and sat back, glancing over at the empty baggage carousel and sighing. There seemed to be a crowd gathering around the same one, also waiting for the missing luggage.

Bella's eyes swept over them and noticed a few passengers she had seen on the same flight when she had made her trip to the bathroom. People of all different ages and sizes surrounded the carousel. Some were couples, some were families, and some were on their own.

She tried to keep herself busy by wondering where exactly Jake would be taking her but after a few seconds, realizing she didn't know Washington very well, or Seattle for that matter, she watched the people around her instead.

A couple stood right next to the carousel. They both looked irritated and the man was growing increasingly impatient. The woman tried to soothe him but he wasn't having it. He snapped at her, walking over to the chairs near Bella's, sitting down, and this started a very public argument between the two. Nasty words and insults were exchanged, sometimes making Bella wince. She glanced over at them and noticed they both had wedding rings on. Yep, definitely a married couple.

Watching the two bicker back and forth, with the woman finally choosing to ignore the man completely, it reminded Bella of her own marriage. It began to bring up thoughts of Edward, which she quickly forced away. She had promised Jake that she was all his for the next four days and she intended to keep that promise. That, of course, meant keeping her mind free and clear as well.

The next person she noticed was a young woman, talking on her cell phone, complaining and sighing to whoever was on the other end while continuously looking down at her watch; near her were two elderly ladies whose scowls deepened the longer they waited; a young couple with the girl hanging off of her boyfriend (who didn't seem to mind) kissed and laughed and kept embracing each other tighter, oblivious to everyone and everything else around them; a man in a business suit was pacing back and forth, talking loudly into the Bluetooth in his ear; and a mother with two young children and a baby were seated near the edge of the chairs while the father kept circling the carousel, looking for the first signs of movement.

Bella sighed again and proceeded to search through her bag for a piece of gum or a mint or something she knew she had stashed in it somewhere. Her efforts were rewarded two minutes later when she found an unopened pack of gum at the very bottom, and after taking a piece and popping it into her mouth, she leaned back once more. Her eyes continued to scan the crowd for Jake every now and then as she watched all different kinds of people come and go.

So far, no luggage and no Jacob.

Bella was glancing in the direction where he had disappeared when she heard it. Her entire body stiffened, in shock at the recognition of the sound. Turning slightly, the mother from earlier came into view, her baby crying in her arms. She watched as the mother rocked the baby back and forth, cooing to her. "I know, sweetheart. I know. Don't worry, baby girl, Daddy's just going to grab our suitcases and we'll be on our way." The baby cried harder, testing the capacity of her little lungs at full power. "I know you've had a very long ride. I know. Here, let's get you a bottle." The woman reached into her diaper bag and pulled out a prepared bottle of milk that had clearly been pumped before travel. She then settled the baby into her arms and began to feed her. A slight sucking sound and a few quiet happy noises from the infant could be heard. "Yes," the mother soothed. "There we go. That's better, isn't it? Yes."

Bella was frozen watching them. The baby looked to be a few months old. Her sleepy eyes watched her mother as she drank from the bottle.

Bella couldn't look away for the life of her. Everything else ceased to exist except for this scene she was witnessing. She didn't see or hear anything except for the mother and her infant daughter. Unwanted feelings of grief and envy surfaced within her and were so overpowering that Bella couldn't move; she couldn't escape like she had so desperately wanted to earlier on the plane.

She was lost in her thoughts and her sadness. The familiar lump lodged itself into her throat and her eyes filled with tears. How could life be so unfair?

An arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her into an embrace startled her back into the present. She jerked away from the touch as if the arm had burned her and jumped to her feet. Struggling to calm her racing heart, Bella realized it had been Jacob. "Jake," she breathed.

His eyes narrowed slightly, his expression one of concern. "Bells," he stood and moved closer. "Are you alright?"

Bella nodded, clearing her throat. "Uh, yeah, sorry; you scared me. I didn't see you."

"I called your name twice."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't hear you." Bella attempted to shake herself out of the stupor she had been in and ran a hand through her hair, nervously tucking some strands behind her ear.

Jake was standing next to her now. "It happens. Sorry I scared you. What did you see?" He turned his head in the direction she had been staring at to try to find what had captivated her. When he didn't see anything, he turned a worried look back on her. "Bells, are you sure you're alr—"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Were you able to get the car?" She slung her bag over her shoulder, not meeting his eyes.

After a moment, he answered her. "Yeah. Everything's set. We just have to go get it once we get our luggage."

Bella nodded and glanced over at the carousel. It was as still as before. She felt a kiss placed to the side of her head and Jacob's hand slip into hers. Not realizing it until she had already done it, Bella dropped his hand and stepped away. She mentally cursed herself when she looked up to find Jake watching her in shock, the hurt in his eyes very evident due to the stark contrast of their interactions before he left.

"Bells, what's going on?"

Bella bit her lip and moved her attention back to the carousel. "Nothing. Nothing, I'm sorry." The baby behind her began to cry again and Bella shut her eyes tightly, trying to block it out. "I just… This airport is just…" Her chest began to tighten and the baby's crying only got louder. Bella's eyes snapped open. "I need some air, Jake."

She didn't wait for a response and hurried towards the exit, the wailing sounds and Jake calling her name fading away. When she felt like she couldn't last another second, Bella broke through the doors. She gasped for air that didn't seem to be coming fast enough, ignoring people looking at her strangely, and moved towards the wall on her left.

Bella leaned back against the cold glass carefully, closing her eyes and focusing on trying to get her breathing under control. After she succeeded, she slowly opened her eyes to take in the scenery in front of her. Cars of all different colors and models moving near and away from the curb. Various people were loading and unloading luggage. Some were saying goodbye to those who had accompanied them there. A light rain pattered against the vehicles and the pavement. She could smell the rain, almost feel it, and a breeze teased her hair, making the strands tickle her skin ever so gently. She felt the cold temperature from the glass seeping into the clothing at her back. She forced air into her lungs, and then blew it slowly back out in repeated motions. She told herself over and over again that she was alive, she was here, and she was alright, that this moment would pass, just like all the others had. She was going to be okay; she had to be.

A second later, Jacob burst through the doors, looking everywhere until his eyes locked on her. Fear and heavy worry marred his brow. He approached her, almost cautiously. "Bella," he panted. "What the hell?"

"Sorry," she managed.

"Jesus Christ. You scared the fucking shit out of me. What happened?" She went to speak but he cut her off. "And don't tell me it's nothing, Bella. Don't lie to me. Just tell me. Did you see someone you recognize? Or did someone bother you? Say something to you? What?"

Bella shook her head. "No, no. Nothing like that."

"Then what?"

She bit her lip and took a deep breath. "I just couldn't…"

Jacob gestured for her to continue. "Just couldn't what?"

She knew he deserved the truth, a real explanation, but it wasn't something she could give him. Not yet. "Breathe," she whispered.

Jacob became even more concerned. He lifted a hand to cup her cheek. "What do you mean?" He asked softly. As he touched her skin, Bella flinched and moved back slightly.

Jacob dropped his hand in defeat. She saw his eyes tighten. "Are you regretting coming here with me?"

Bella's eyes widened. "No. How could you think that?"

Jacob stared at her pointedly, his eyes flickering back and forth from her cheek to her own eyes. Crap. Bella needed to fix this and fast.

She ran her hand through her hair and took another deep breath, forcing herself to calm down a little more. She slowly reached down and picked up Jake's rejected hand, resting it against her cheek and holding it there. It took everything in her not to flinch and push him away again but she once again managed to override her body's natural instinctive reaction. Jacob was too important to her. She couldn't lose him. Not now.

His thumb stroked her cheek gently. When she didn't pull away, he took a wary step forward and then another. He moved slowly until he was standing right next to her. Bella saw his eyes soften and the worry there killed her. She turned to kiss his palm before glancing back up at him.

Jacob carefully glided across her skin with his fingertips, taking care to never go anywhere past where her hand cradled his. After a few minutes of her silent reassurances and Jacob's tender touches, he leaned down to place his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

The guilt inside Bella was now tenfold. "I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered to him. "That inside had nothing to do with you or this trip, I promise." His eyes slowly opened. "It has nothing to do with us," she emphasized. "I just felt…suffocated in there. I was looking for you but didn't see you. I wanted to wait until you came back to get some air, but with all the noise and everything, I just couldn't wait any longer."

"I'm sorry," Jacob let out in a pained whisper. "I didn't mean to take so long."

Bella internally winced. He thought he was the cause, that because he hadn't gotten back to her sooner, she'd started to feel overwhelmed. That was the farthest thing from the truth. "Jake, you don't have anything to be sorry for. I should have been able to wait. This is just…more of my issues." She smiled sadly up at him. "I told you…I'm not someone you want to get involved with."

Jacob narrowed his eyes but then put his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. He hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head one more time. She hugged him back as much as she could manage, burying her nose into his chest, deeply inhaling his comforting scent.

They held each other like that for however long until Jacob sighed, exhaling warm breath against her hair. "Are you sure you're okay?" He whispered.

Bella nodded, squeezing him to show she was indeed alright.

Jacob pulled back gingerly, placing the softest kiss for the last time on her forehead. He took Bella's hand and slowly led them back to the baggage claim.

As luck would have it, the carousel was now moving. The chute was spitting out suitcases and duffle bags every few seconds. Jacob squeezed her hand. "I'll grab our stuff and then we can go get the car. I'll be right back. Can you hang here for a sec?" At Bella's nod, Jacob released her and began to walk away.

"Jacob," she rushed out. He froze and turned back to her, appearing almost worried of what she was going to say.

She moved quickly towards him, lifted herself up on her toes, and pressed her lips to his. She broke away and stood there, watching several emotions play out on his face, none of them staying still long enough for her to be able to identify them. "I love you," she whispered.

A tiny smile appeared on Jake's face and he nodded, lifting her right hand to kiss it. He then went to grab their luggage like they had originally planned. Bella watched him go sadly, knowing one thing for sure: she loved Jacob Black, she was in love with him, and she needed to leave everything behind this week and show him as often as she could. Seeing him lift her suitcase off of the carousel first, Bella vowed to make him happy while they were here. He deserved nothing less from her.

…

Once they had gathered their luggage, picked up the rental car, stopped to grab some snacks, drinks, and a map, Jake and Bella were officially on their way to the surprise location Jacob had in store for her.

There had been one moment there when Bella had worried that she had destroyed everything in a single moment of her ridiculous insanity, and that moment was when Jacob had left her and the luggage at the rental car desk to make a quick call. Bella wouldn't be surprised if that he was either calling Emmett to ask him what was going on with her or the airline to book a return flight immediately. The longer he took, the more and more she convinced herself it was the latter. She told herself she was being ridiculous, that he was actually calling Seth to check in or he was contacting the place they were staying at to make sure they still had reservations. But that still didn't help to ease her fears and her nerves had worked her into such a state that when he had returned five minutes later, and when he hadn't bothered to mention who he had called, Bella had moved to his side and clung to him. Jake had merely kissed her forehead, stepped out of her arms but had taken her hand instead, almost as if to help take the sting out of the subtle rejection. She had watched him worriedly, scared that she had definitely done more irreversible damage to their relationship when he left to bring the car to the front. She only breathed a small sigh of relief when he packed up the trunk and had them on the road in the next half hour.

Resolved not to ruin this trip for Jake, to not do any more damage than she already had, Bella did her best to relax and be happy, and around Jacob, that wasn't hard to do. Once he was certain she was going to be okay and not have a similar episode to the one from earlier, Jake relaxed and began to joke around and talk like normal. They teased each other constantly and it was the same easy banter they had shared once upon a time. Bella kept trying to get him to tell her where they were going, but he just laughed off her attempts and kept it to himself.

The ride was only about an hour and a half, but spending time with Jake like this made the time pass that much faster. A few turns and one ferry ride later, Jake pulled the car onto a narrow almost-hidden road. Bella glanced around as they drove until they came upon a large cabin-like building; it didn't quite look like a residence and with the few other cars parked around it, she surmised it had to be the main office.

She knew they were in Whidbey Island since Jake had given that one up due to the passing signs on the road. She still had yet to discover exactly where it was they were staying, and Bella prayed that they weren't going to be camping. She wasn't a fan of the outdoors and she really didn't want to sleep in a tent, covered in bug spray with rocks embedded into her back as she laid there, listening to all of the sounds the local wildlife made. But, if it made Jake happy, she supposed she could endure it just as long as there was a bathroom nearby; squatting behind a bush is one practice she was glad to have been replaced by the invention of indoor plumbing. And aside from all of that, Jake would have to make the fire since Bella couldn't be trusted around fire. Bella couldn't really be trusted around anything due to her natural clumsiness.

"Okay, I'm just going to go check us in. I'll be right back." He hopped out before Bella could throw more questions at him. She vowed to hold onto them all and wait until he returned to pelt him with them. He laughed, not answering any of them and inducing a mock glare from her, and drove past the house which Jake had informed her was indeed the main office. He drove down the road before turning onto another one. At this point, Bella could see there was a lake, and that was a welcome sight; water nearby was definitely a bonus.

A minute or so later, Jake parked in front of a cabin that was almost the same size as the office but more spacious looking. It just seemed wider all around and her jaw dropped as she stared up at it. "Jake, is this where we're staying?"

He took her hand and squeezed it. "Yep. Just us for the next couple of days. Do you… Is it okay?" He cleared his throat to try again. "I mean, are you alright staying here?"

"It's got a bathroom and running water?" She turned to ask him excitedly.

He snickered. "Of course it does. You didn't really think we'd be roughing it, did you?" His amused smirk told her that he knew what she had initially been thinking and it caused her cheeks to flame in embarrassment. "With you in tow, Bells?"

She rolled her eyes before pivoting in her seat to look at the cabin again. "It's perfect, Jake," she gushed. "I love it. I really do."

Jake squeezed her hand again and opened his door. "I'm glad."

Bella jumped out and met him by the trunk of the car. He laughed when he noticed her eyes still wide in wonder and amazement. He shook his head, clearly amused, and dug into his pocket. "Here." Jake handed her the key and smiled. "I'll grab all of our stuff, Bells. You head in."

She bit her lip to contain her excitement. She didn't want to leave him out here with everything but at the same time, she had to see the inside of this place. "Are you sure?"

He laughed and shook his head, kissing her. "We both know how badly you want to check it out. Go. I've got this."

She grinned and bounded up the steps like an overeager little kid about to go exploring. Jake knew her too well sometimes.

She got to the door and swiftly slid the key into the lock, turning it, and was happy to hear the click that indicated the door was now open. It swung open slowly while also creaking loudly, and she pushed it open further, cautiously stepping inside.

The front room was open with two glass patio doors leading out to a deck that was perched right above the lake. A stone fireplace sat on one side of the room, looking warm and rather inviting, yet she went to the glass doors and opened them, stepping out onto the deck. Chairs lined the porch and the water was still and gorgeous. Bella glanced towards the left and saw a jacuzzi sitting there. She shook her head in amazement and practically laughed. This place was fantastic!

She made her way back into the cabin, closing the doors behind her before she ventured into the bedroom, passing the cozy kitchen on her way. There was a stainless steel refrigerator sitting in the corner. She'd have to check to see if it had been fully stocked when she had concluded her inspection of this little hideaway Jake had gotten for them.

The bedroom was a soft hue of white, almost appearing like a bridal suite to her, with the walls and the carpet matching in the same shade of pure white. It didn't have the same rustic look the cabin did; this room was special and set apart all on its own. The white room, she dubbed it, and then snickered quietly at the weird name she had given it. She just didn't want to think of it as a bridal suite. That thought was too much for her to even try to process right now so "the white room" it was dubbed.

The only offsetting to it was the dark wooden furniture set but everything else was white: the sheets and blankets, all turned down and the pillows on the four poster king-size bed that had a white sheer covering over it. Bella approached it and took the soft material between her fingertips. She smiled and glanced around noticing another set of glass doors leading outside, this time right in front of the jacuzzi.

She saw the bathroom door slightly ajar with a tiny glow coming from within the crack. She gently pushed it open and what she saw inside made her gasp in surprise.

There were rose petals that led a trail from the door to the bathtub. A bathtub that was filled with light soapy water with more rose petals floating on top.

Candles adorned the room; small white tea lights that were lit, giving a soft ambiance. Champagne was chilling in a bucket on the ledge above it, with two crystal flutes standing next to it. In the far corner near the toilet was a large glass shower that both of them could easily fit into.

But Bella couldn't be bothered with continuing her exploration of the cabin. The setup that Jake had no doubt planned on surprising her with brought tears to her eyes. It was beautiful and he was truly amazing.

Through blurry eyes, she spotted a single stemmed rose sitting on the counter with a small card next to it. She picked up the card and held it gingerly between her fingers, but before she could open it and read its message, Jake's voice startled her.

"Bells?"

She quickly put the card back down and sniffled, wiping a single tear that had made its way onto her cheek. She lowered her hand in time just as Jake made his way through the door.

His bright smile faded when he saw her and then glanced around the room. Bella saw a brief flicker of worry in his eyes before he rushed over to her. "I'm sorry, Bells, I told them not to go ahead and do this. Why don't you go in the other room and I'll take care of it?"

He started to blow out the candles and stuck his hand into the tub, pulling out the stopper so it could start draining.

Bella didn't understand. Here he had done this beautiful thing for her and now he seemed almost like he really hadn't meant to. Why?

She put her hand on his arm when he went to throw some petals in the small garbage can, stilling it. "Jake?"

He turned his eyes up towards her sadly.

"Why would you tell them not to?"

His eyes fell to the quickly retreating water. "I thought maybe you wouldn't like it. I wasn't sure." He glanced back up at her and gave her a tight smile. "Looks like I was right."

She stared at him. Why wouldn't she like it? And why did he think that she had just confirmed his suspicions? Where on earth had he gotten an idea like that? She didn't know what to make of this. Obviously, she had hurt his feelings somehow; or, that much she could tell.

He sighed and took her hand with his dry one, brushing his lips against her fingers. "Why don't you go check out the fridge, see if they stocked it up like they were supposed to? I can make you something. I know you hated that airplane food as much as I did." He gave her a smirk but she could see right through it. Something was definitely bothering him.

Instead of listening, she made him sit down on the edge of the wall surrounding the tub and then moved onto his lap, forcing him to look at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Talk to me."

He bit his lip and looked down. "Bells..."

"Jake…did I do something wrong?"

His eyes flashed to hers in shock. "God, no. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know, it's just, all of this," She gestured around them. "Is so beautiful and...romantic. I love it. But now, it seems like you didn't want me to see it."

He placed his forehead up against hers. "Bells, it's not that." He took another deep breath. "I just didn't want to push you. I didn't want you to see this and think I was assuming anything."

She smiled at him. "Why, is there a ring hidden somewhere around here?" She teased.

His cheeks got darker and he looked away. "No."

She laughed and kissed his nose. "Then why would you think that I would take all of this as you pushing me?"

He dropped the rose petals into the little bit of bath water left and gathered her up more securely in his arms. "I wasn't sure. After last night and then earlier..."

Bella bit her lip and cast her eyes down. She didn't want to think about any of that. She just wanted to enjoy the time she had with him, even though she knew he had a point. Now everything was becoming clear: he saw her crying a few minutes ago and thought it was a bad thing. How wrong he was.

"I just don't want to push you to do anything that you're not ready for. This trip...it's not just about sex. I mean, it never was." At Bella's arched eyebrow, he backtracked. "Okay, yeah, sex would be great, but I asked you to come here with me because I love you and I want some time for us to just be together. But if you want us to just focus on being here together and spending time, I'm fine with it. I love you and I want you, but I'd rather you be comfortable with me here."

Her mouth dropped in shock. "Jacob, I am comfortable with you here. More than comfortable. I love being with you." Her eyes searched his intently. Did last night and today really do that much of a number on them? Is that where all of this fear and uncertainty was coming from? She vowed once again to not let that come between them again, and to make him as happy as she possibly could. This was exactly the side of her Jake could never know, the damaged side, and this was why she was so frightened at the prospect of her having a nightmare with him being there to witness it. She knew that if he ever found out just what she was keeping from him, he would never forgive her. He would turn around and leave her, for good, not wanting to be bothered with her baggage, and if he left her, she wouldn't survive it. That she was pretty sure of. She would finally break into hundreds of tiny pieces, and just like Humpty Dumpty, never to be put back together again. As much as she loved Edward and still needed him, she loved Jake, too, and she could not lose him. Not over this.

Jake stared at her helplessly. "I know." Then, closing his eyes, "I just want you to be okay."

She cupped the sides of his face and softly kissed his brow. She let her lips linger there and she smiled before pulling away, which forced him to open his eyes. She shot him a mischievous smirk and got to her feet, taking his hand and leading him out of the bathroom. She stopped around the foot of the bed and turned back to him, smiling warmly at his questioning gaze. She moved in closer. "I'm not here for sex with you, Jake."

She could see his crestfallen expression but he put on a determined face and nodded. "Okay."

She gripped the bottom of his shirt and started to lift. He stopped her, a confused look on his face. "I thought—"

She bit her lip, smiling more, and continued peeling the shirt slowly off of him. "I said I'm not here for sex."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "I know. So why—"

She silenced him with her fingertips on his lips. She then took his hand and guided it to the tie on the back of her dress.

Jake looked at her, silently asking permission yet still wondering what was going on, and she nodded. He carefully pulled the ties out of the bow they had been in and soon brought his other hand up to help him finish the job.

Bella leaned into him and threw her arms back around his neck. She needed him to know just how much she loved him, how much she wanted him. She brushed her lips against his ever so lightly before moving to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. She stared up into his dark eyes, willing him to give her everything he had to give her and more, and whispered "Make love to me."

His eyes widened slightly before narrowing; he trying to see if she meant it, that it wouldn't be something they would both regret later. "Are you sure?"

She pressed a kiss to his chin and then to the column of his throat. "Jake, I'm still the same person. I understand last night was...strange. And the airport before..." She involuntarily winced and was glad he couldn't see it. She moved up to his ear, whispering into it, "But, I'm still me. I'm still your Bells." She heard a small indistinct sound escape from him but she couldn't be sure of what it was. She grabbed his left hand that was sitting on her back and placed his palm against her right cheek. "Aren't I?"

The way he watched her made her want to fall to her knees and cry. She hadn't seen that much love and adoration since...well, since Edward. Before-do not have that thought right now! Focus on him! She waited for him to say something, anything.

He smiled at her weakly and stroked her cheek. "You'll always be my Bells," he whispered tightly.

She smiled so wide it hurt.

He leaned in and kissed her gently, slowly moving her lips with his. His hands rubbed her sides and when his tongue entered her mouth, she moaned at the taste of him. After a few moments, she drew back and kissed her way across his bare chest. His fingers pulled her dress off of her slowly and he placed reverent open-mouthed kisses to her shoulder as the fabric fell to the floor. He encased her small body in his arms and squeezed as he whispered to her, "I love you so much."

Bella could feel her tears returning at hearing the heart-filled words. She never wanted this moment to end. She truly wanted to be his and only his.

She moved back, ignoring the wet drops making their way down her cheeks or the concern that etched his face as he watched them.

"Jacob," His eyes flashed to hers. "Please kiss me."

He wiped away her tears with his thumbs and licked his lips before obliging. Bella opened up for him willingly, melting into him and giving herself over to him fully. His kiss was passionate yet gentle, and she could feel just how much he was holding himself back.

She broke the kiss and started to undo his jeans as he kissed her cheek and then her ear. Once she won the battle with his zipper, she started to pull the material down his hips when he stopped her. She turned to look at him questioningly, wondering why he wouldn't allow her to undress him.

He didn't respond but instead lifted her hair and leaned in towards her neck. She could feel her breathing hitch when she felt him kissing the skin right below her ear. "You're so beautiful," he whispered to her. Her eyes started to close as she tilted her head, giving him better access. "So are you," she whispered in response.

He pulled back and gently lifted her into his arms before walking them around the bed. He masterfully lifted the covering hanging over the bed and carefully laid her down before joining her inside, letting the covering fall back into place, effectively cocooning them in what was to be their sanctuary for the next two days.

Jake hooked his fingers into her panties and slowly tugged them down her legs, Bella lifting her hips to help him. Once he dropped them near the end of the bed, he turned and gazed down at her bare body. She could see his eyes darken, an all-too familiar look of pure hunger and adoration replacing any previous vulnerability.

He took her right leg in his grasp and lifted it to his shoulder, kissing the skin reverently before leaning down, trailing kisses down her thigh until he reached her glistening core. "Fuck, Bells," he groaned when greeted with the sight before him. "You're already wet."

"I have been for a while, especially when we talked about your phone vibrating," she admitted.

His eyes darkened further. "We are definitely trying that while we're here," he growled out before leaning down to take her in his mouth. Her hand flashed out and placed itself under his chin, stopping him.

"Wait."

He gazed up at her, waiting, and she could see how worried that one word had made him. She sat up, pulling him with her, and kissed him sweetly, laying her hand on his cheek. "Later. Right now, I want you, Jacob. Just you. I need you."

His eyes lit up in understanding and he nodded. He kissed her again, stroking her tongue lazily with his, as he lowered his jeans. He pushed them away as fast as he could, breaking away momentarily, and then eased himself down onto her, holding some of his weight off of her by his forearms. He stared into her eyes and caressed a strand of her hair between his fingers. She studied him for a minute, wondering just what he was thinking as he watched her so intently. And then he lowered his head down and took her lips in a sweet kiss. He repositioned himself and slowly pushed into her, making her gasp loudly into his mouth, and once he was fully sheathed within her, Jake broke the kiss and groaned loudly, closing his eyes and placing his forehead against hers. "Fuck me," he breathed out.

Bella carefully wrapped her legs around his waist, making sure to cling to him tightly, the movement forcing him in a bit deeper which made them both moan appreciatively. She then wound her arms around his back to hold him that much closer and more securely.

His eyes slowly opened, taking in Bella's fingers rubbing soothing circles into the sides of his face as she reveled in the sensation of being filled by him once again. She could never ever get enough of this or of him.

They didn't move, Jake giving her time to adjust. Instead they stayed together, watching one another, tracing their fingertips on the other's skin to re-familiarize themselves with each other. In reality, it had only been about two days since they had last been together, and they had cheated quite a few times since then to bring each other to release. But to them, it had felt like forever.

Jacob leaned down to kiss her, softly at first and then grew more passionate. He moved to pull back but Bella followed him until she fell back into the pillow, laughing. Jake laughed with her and then lowered himself again so she could reach him easier. Bella's fingers tangled themselves in his hair while her other hand gripped his back gently. He began a slow movement within her.

She moved to cup his face and bring him further down to meet her lips once again. After a few slow thrusts, he grabbed her left hand and intertwined their fingers, keeping both hands on the sheets next to them. He squeezed intermittently in between kisses and increased movements. Soon small moans and ragged breaths could be heard loudly around the room.

Jake alternated between kissing her and lifting up to stare into her eyes as he moved. Bella's free hand had stationed itself on his left side, tightening and loosening its grip in time to each thrust.

This was definitely different to any other time they had slept together, including that one time he had made love to her before the shore trip last weekend. That had been child's play compared to what was happening between them now. This was making love; there was no rush, no mistaken assumptions, no fear or insecurities present. In that moment, they were simply Jake and Bella.

The emotions coursing through her were overwhelming her body and her heart. Her mind attempted to start the automatic guilt trip it would whenever she was with Jake, trying to remind her of reality and how wrong she was, how wrong this actually was, but she shut it off and focused completely on the man above her. She refused to let anything on the outside taint this experience, this feeling of fulfillment she and Jake were having, and that enabled her to free her heart from the last chain binding it so that she could give herself fully over to Jacob. Even if it was only for a few days, she was wholly his.

"I love you," she whispered.

His eyes bore further into hers and he slowed his thrusts down to nearly a stop. His free hand removed itself from the headboard above and came to rest in her hair, stroking it between his fingertips. "I love you, too, honey," he confessed in between pants. He moved his hand down to hers that was holding onto his side, placing it on his chest where his heart beat beneath her palm. "It's yours. You know that," he murmured.

Bella's lips turned up into an adoring smile. Jacob Black might not be a connoisseur of words and he certainly didn't write any love poems for her, but this was him: pure and simple, honest and to the point. When he felt something, he said it without apology, unafraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. That was just one of the many things she loved about him.

She freed both of her hands and brought them to his cheeks, pulling him down to her quickly, consuming and devouring him as best she could. He seemed to have the same idea as he attempted to take her in just as much.

Jake brought them both to the edge quickly but before Bella could allow herself to fall back over that cliff, he wound his arms around her body and pulled her up into his lap. He placed kisses to her cheeks and lips to help calm her down with him.

Once the fog in Bella's head cleared slightly, she glanced at Jake to find him smiling warmly at her. Normally, she would have pouted at him for cheating her out of the release she had been waiting to experience since the plane. She might have even teased him and tried to convince him to continue, but instead, this time, she leaned forward and laid her forehead against his.

They both didn't say a word, only tried to get their labored breathing under control.

Her fingers traced Jake's features and his warm breaths danced along her lips. She leaned in to kiss him and his eyes began to close as he went to meet her halfway, but at the last second, Bella dodged him and brought her lips to his forehead instead.

Jake grunted in disapproval. "Such a tease," he muttered.

Bella smiled against his skin and kissed his hairline one more time. "You tease, I tease," she chuckled.

"I wasn't tea—"

She had dropped her lips to his left shoulder and kissed his skin softly, the gesture a shy but tender one. "I love you," she murmured while doing so. "I love you," she whispered when she did it again. Jake turned to look at her and she placed one more kiss there before lifting to kiss him like he had been waiting for. Did he not understand how much he meant to her? She desperately needed to show him.

Jake reveled in her mouth and within seconds, Bella was once again on her back, with Jake following. She placed her hands on his chest, feeling the smooth muscle underneath the skin. Her right hand came up to rest on the spot where it had been before, right over his heart.

The action seemed to excite him and he held her to him with one hand and the other grasping the headboard like he had before. He started to thrust harder, making Bella gasp and grip onto his sides to hold on. She heard him whisper, "Kwopkalawo'li," as he kissed her forehead tenderly. She had no idea what language it was but she assumed it must have been Quileute. With how softly he had said it, she wondered if it meant the same as what she had said moments earlier. She didn't have too much time to think on it though; Jacob was getting riled up and she became incapable of any thoughts as he started to lose himself in her. He moved harder and faster, encouraged by the sounds Bella was making into his mouth. He made sure to always keep them connected no matter how rough he got.

When she broke the kiss to get some air, Jake drove into her even more forcefully. He pulled her body up to meet his every thrust, making Bella cry out. As he worked, she made sure to cup his face and keep his eyes on her.

Neither broke the connection and, due to the intensity of Jake's movements, within minutes his body was trembling above hers.

Bella could see he was struggling, trying to hold back for her sake. She lifted up to kiss him quickly. "I love you, Jacob Black. I really love you," she breathed into his mouth. Her words had the desired effect and his strokes hit their maximum speed. He grabbed for her hand blindly, intertwined their fingers, and pushed their joined hands over her head.

"I love you," he panted harshly near her lips. "God, Bells, I love you so fucking much." He grunted with the effort he was exerting. Bella slipped a hand between them to help her release along to hopefully meet his. She had a feeling she wasn't quite going to get there just yet. She was too fascinated with what she was seeing as she watched Jake work himself up to the edge. She had seen it before but as with everything else of this experience, it felt different. This was more important than climbing up her own cliff and jumping off.

She was amply rewarded for her patience and selflessness. Jake's body was shaking and his hip movements became more erratic. He pushed deeper into her and held himself there, his body tightening, the tendons standing out in his neck, his hand gripping hers roughly while emitting a heavy groan that Bella felt deep in her own body. His head arched back slightly and his eyes drifted shut.

Bella's breathing picked up even higher, watching Jacob take such sweet pleasure in his release into her body. She could still feel him pulsing within her as he gave a few gentle shallow thrusts until he came to a complete stop. Seeing him react so strongly, knowing this was only the first of many times they would experience this for the next few days with no obligations, no time limits, no concerns for getting caught, along with her hand's ministrations, helped Bella to finally reach her own finish line.

"Jake," she gasped loudly. His eyes focused on her as he barely held himself up. He leaned down to cover her mouth with his, swallowing her moans and gasps. Her own body tightened and she clung to him, trembling herself.

When the waves had washed over her and receded, leaving her feeling boneless, she finally let go and relaxed against the bed. He followed, doing his best to keep most of his weight off of her as he pressed soft kisses to her neck and the side of her face. She felt the puffs of air coming from him in her ear. "Sorry, Bells, I couldn't… Next time, I promise."

She turned, kissing his temple and then his cheek. "Shhh. That was quite possibly the best start to any vacation I've ever had," she panted. "I don't remember seeing that anywhere in the brochure. Maybe we should consider looking into a timeshare up here."

He laughed and shook his head, lifting up slightly to grin down at her. "And I thought I was the one who supposedly had no blood going to my brain after sex." She rolled her eyes and kissed him deeply. He rubbed his nose tenderly along hers. "It was definitely worth the wait," he whispered.

Bella couldn't have agreed more.

…

Bella laid there, stroking Jacob's sweaty hair tenderly. His head rested against her chest as he laid there, unmoving, his eyes remaining closed. She stared up at the top of the bed, lost in thought and marveling at everything as she continued with her ministrations repeatedly, almost absent-mindedly.

She hadn't felt like this in forever it seemed like. Of all the times she had been with Edward, the time she'd been married to him, she had come close to this feeling a few times but never quite reached it. Now she had and it had been with Jacob.

Bella loved him; there was no doubt in her mind and heart about that, and she knew he loved her as well. He had shown that to her over and over again since the moment they had arrived here.

She thought back on the last couple of years. For so long, she'd been a zombie walking around, only allowing surface feelings to touch her but never anything deeper. She had mastered a daily routine and refused to deviate from it. Change was dangerous; change meant facing the unknown. If she stopped moving, she might finally fall apart, never able to come back together again. Bella wasn't equipped or quite prepared to deal with any type of changes yet. No one seemed to breach the walls that were securely in place; not Alice, not Emmett, and certainly not Edward.

But then Jacob Black came along. He just appeared there one night and somehow he made it through where the others couldn't. He was in her heart; that was definite, but he also had managed to make her forget. She winced at the thought. Not completely forget because who could ever forget that? Only the cruelest person on the planet, one who didn't deserve the light and love Jacob had brought to her life. However, Jacob didn't judge her, didn't expect anything from her, and freely let her set the pace between them and what she felt most comfortable at.

How had that happened?

She kissed the top of his head, staring down at him lovingly. "I love you," she whispered into his hair.

He squeezed her in his arms, letting her know he had heard her in his sleepy state. "Love you, too, honey," he mumbled. Bella smiled and squeezed him back, holding him as tight against her as she dared without cutting off either of their air.

For the first time in a year and a half, Bella felt alive again. And Jacob Black had been the one to give her that feeling.