An Author's Note
Happy Sunday, everyone! I hope you all worked hard last year to earn that short short short Christmas Break! Because now it's months until the next holiday!
Anyways, I'm glad everyone seemed to like my last installment. Not much happens in this chapter. But it introduces plot developments that will last for the rest of the fanfic and its sequels. Also, I'll warn you that I'm not going to jump straight into the Games. I'm following the Hunger Games fairly strictly, but I'm adding a lot and changing even more.
I might add Wednesdays to my update schedule, or at least until the Games start. All in favor of Sundays and Wednesdays, let me know!
Also, a big thank you to my guest reviewer, Savannah, who has helped me edit and critiqued this entire story. Get an account so I can thank you properly. I couldn't have done it without you!
Without further ado, I proudly present Chapter 2: Goodbyes.
The Goodbyes
It's like when Edward left. I stumbled through the forest for hours, struggling to remember how to move and breathe and think in coherent words. Every wisp of air from my lungs had faded, and life and meaning had completely ended for me. I couldn't seem to find a reason to live anymore. Why should I breathe? I had wondered.
I've become stronger since then. That's how I feel now, as Alice inhales shallowly, a little determined puff. She whispers an apology to me, so low I'm not sure if I really hear it, and slips into the aisle. I catch Jasper in the crowd, looking devastated beyond belief. I can't breathe or think as I watch her saunter away. The cloud cover will only last so long... and when they check her vitals? They'll find out about the vampires' existence among them and the hunt will again become an active inquisition, like the one that happened no less than ten years ago. I'm sure that other members of our kind throughout Panem would find shelter among close friends, but I know that it would be the end of the Cullen clan.
There must have been a mistake. Alice was just a few names in thousands. We haven't signed up for tesserae. Her chances were so remote... but then again, only as slim as mine. Is this my fault? Have I done something wrong? It always seems to be my fault in one way or another. But why Alice? So many others had such greater chances. I know of one boy who entered more times than my whole family combined. Alice is already marching, emotionless and whiter than bone, lithely as ever towards certain doom.
I suddenly notice Rosalie, staring towards the stage. Edward shoots her a look and shakes his head sadly. She clenches her fists and wails in silent, blonde fury. What had she been thinking? Then it occurs to me. She was going to volunteer. But that wouldn't do anything for the clan. It wouldn't, it couldn't. As much as she wishes she was, Rose isn't human. The Capitol would realize just as quickly that my family isn't what it seems to be. If someone's going to save the Cullens, it would have to be—
Me.
"Alice..." The cry escapes my throat like a whisper, strangled by the wafts of wind like a snake suffocates its prey. My eyes had been completely dry, but as I push my way through the crowd to the aisle, tears start forming. "Alice!.." My voice must be silent. No one hears, or at least they don't care. She spins around, eyes wide, on the verge of shouting for me not to. But I've made my decision. She knows it. One of the Peacekeepers sees and grabs me, holding me back from Alice. I struggle for a moment, trying to push myself forward.
"Bella, n—"
"I volunteer!" I gasp, struggling to escape the Peacekeeper's grasp. "I volunteer as Tribute!"
There's confusion, almost panic, on the stage. The Peacekeeper releases me. This might even be the first time District 12 has had a volunteer, I'm not certain. Either way, the protocol has become rusty. A girl can volunteer for a reaped girl, a boy for a reaped boy, and then they can take the other person's place. In some Districts it's considered an honor to take part in the Hunger Games, people are eager to risk their lives. It's complicated, and multiple people often wish to volunteer. But here in District 12, where Tribute is synonymous with corpse, volunteers are all but extinct.
"Lovely!" Effie Trinket shouts over the roaring silence, her frilly voice so out of place as I face my destruction. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, um..." she trails off, unsure.
"What does it matter?" the mayor asks. His expression is all but unreadable, but pain registers in his eyes. He doesn't know me, but I'm his daughter's friend. I'm sure Madge spoke of me on occasion. I bring blueberries to his house. I was in the Justice Building after the... accident. And I think he might be in love with Esme, or at least he tries to take care of her. "What does it matter?" he repeats. "Let her come forward."
Alice grabs my hand. "No, Bella. Please." I shake her off of me. "Bella, no..."
"And, we've some drama in District 12..." Effie tries to narrate, failing miserably.
"Alice, let go," I say as harshly as I can.
"Bella, your future is..."
"A clean break, Alice." She widens her eyes. If she could, she would be crying. And this is upsetting me. I can't cry, not if I want a chance of gaining sponsors. When they play the replay of the Reapings tonight, everyone worth gaining the loyalty of would make a note of my tears. I'd be marked as an easy target and a weakling. No one worth attention. "Let go." Her fingers leave mine, her arm falls by her side. Jasper has his hand on her shoulder as he leads her back to where she should be standing. He smiles grimly at me before walking, emotionlessly, away. I climb the steps. Effie's beckoning me.
"Well, bravo!" Effie Trinket gushes, giving a fluttering clap. "That's the spirit of the Games!" She's pleased to have a District with a little action in it.
"What's your name?"
I swallow, forcing it out. "Isabella Swan." Effie narrows her eyes, trying to think of a good response.
"Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest Tribute!" she trills.
To the everlasting credit of District 12, not one person claps. Not even the ones holding the betting slips, the ones who are usually beyond caring. Possibly because they know Edward and I from the Hob, as one of the people their beloved doctor left behind, or they have fallen in love with Alice, who is so dainty and charming that not even a literal rock can help loving her. I feel the inevitable flush in my cheeks as I stand there unmoving while they take part in the boldest form of dissent they can manage. Silence. Which says we do not agree. We do not condone.
All of this is wrong.
Then something odd happens. I don't expect it at the very least, although Edward already must have guessed it was coming. A shift has occurred. I don't know why what I did was so moving. Perhaps everyone knows that I'm not as needed by the lost Esme, or a select few know that I'm doing this to save my entire family. Or maybe they just can't take the Hunger Games any longer. For some reason, District 12 sees me as someone precious. At first one, Edward, then another, then almost every member of the crowd touches the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and hold it out to me in salute. It is an old and rarely seen gesture of this District. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means good-bye to someone you love.
Now the tears are in danger of spilling over my cheeks. If I so much as blink, I'll cry. Fortunately, Haymitch chooses this time to come staggering across the stage to congratulate me. "Look at her! Look at this one!" he hollers, throwing an arm around my shoulders. He's surprisingly steady for such a drunkard. "I like her!" His breath reeks of liquor and it's been a long time since he's bathed. "Lot's of..." He can't think of the word for awhile. "Spunk!" he says. "More than you!" He releases me and starts for the front of the stage. "More than you!" he shouts, pointing directly into a camera.
Is he addressing the audience or is he so drunk he might actually be taunting the Capitol? We never find out, because he plummets off the stage and knocks himself unconscious. I'm grateful. With every camera trained on him, I release a choke from my throat and compose myself. For a moment I wish we had just taken off into the woods. But what would've happened when Alice's name was drawn? She wouldn't be there either. They would've discovered that we weren't there and sent a hovercraft for us. We could be dead by now.
Effie Trinket tries to get things moving again. "What an exciting day!" she enthuses, again attempting to straighten her wig. "But more excitement to come! It's time to choose our boy tribute!" She grabs the first slip she encounters. She zips to the podium. I don't even have time to wish for my friends' safety. "Peeta Mellark."
Peeta Mellark? I've seen him at school. I've spoken to him a few times, though we're not friends. He makes his way towards the stage, ashy blonde hair and all. He staggers onto the stage, eyes watering. He prepares to shake my hand. Then Effie:
"Do we have any volunteers?" she asks. There's a moment of silence.
"Edward, no!" Alice shrieks in a strangled voice. It's too late to convince him. He shoves his way through the crowd. I want to shout at him not to. The whole reason I volunteered was to protect them! Can't he see that! How can he just...
"I volunteer as Tribute," he says flatly, his face expressionless. Peeta is sent off the stage. Edward ambles up and glances at me.
"What's your name?" Effie asks with a beam.
"Edward Cullen," he replies, returning her mock friendliness with the ghost of a smile. Charming as always.
"That was your sister earlier... well, looks like we have another Cullen Tribute from District 12 for the annual 74th Hunger Games!"
We gaze into each others' eyes for a long time, each second painful. How could he?.. Why would he..? He wants to die. If I'm going to die, he's going to die with me. He just wants to make it easier on himself. I wish I could bring myself to hate him.
"Come on, you two! Shake hands!"
Does she actually think she's reconciling two strangers? Edward, true gentleman that he is, takes my hand and shakes it firmly, without a word. Thus begins the mayor's reading of the Treaty of the Treason. It's a long document, thoroughly boring, full of thees, thous, and henceforwards.
"Furthermore:
"In penance for their uprising, each District shall offer up a male and female between the ages of twelve and eighteen at a public 'Reaping.' These Tributes shall be delivered to the custody of The Capitol. And then transferred to a public arena where they will Fight to the Death until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore, this pageant shall be known as The Hunger Games," he finishes.
A shiver shoots down my spine. Edward and I have been standing politely but still like strangers. It's painful as he glares at me like we've never met. It makes sense, if we really were strangers, we'd be thinking about how we were going to kill each other. I'm again reminded of when he left. He's an actor. He told me he didn't love me but, in reality, was pained by every word he said, as he later told me. I now know how dangerous it is to be pulled apart. I jumped off a cliff. He tried to kill himself. Romeo and Juliet. Everything was alright in the end of our story.
But now we're going to die.
The Anthem of Panem, A Horn of Plenty, plays loudly over the setting. It's out of place. Some of the Capitol officials mouth the words, as none of the Districts care for them. It occurs to me that this is the first time I've heard it. I already have a strong hatred for it.
Oh Horn of Plenty!
A Horn of Plenty for us all!
And when you raise the cry,
The brave shall heed the call,
And we shall never falter.
One Horn of Plenty for us all!
Oh Horn of Plenty!
The Horn of Plenty overflows!
And when you raise the cry,
The brave shall heed the call,
And we shall never falter.
One Horn of Plenty for us all!
Oh Horn of Plenty!
The Horn of Plenty overflows!
And when you raise the cry,
The brave shall heed the call,
And we shall never falter.
Oh Horn of Plenty for us all!
Oh Capitol,
Your glorious diamond shine.
A Tribute to
The darkest days behind.
One Horn of Plenty for us all!
The moment the anthem ends we're taken into the Capitol's custody. I've unwillingly seen replays of Reapings and Games. Tributes have tried to escape in the past. Peacekeepers swarm around this. I mimic Edward as best I can, expressionless and almost bored, until I find Esme in the crowd. She's wrecked and weepy. Her hand is firmly clasped to her mouth, her eyes are wide. It's the hopelessness in them that stings me. She's lost her husband to the abomination that is Panem. She's losing her son and what might as well be her daughter on the same day. No, I am her daughter. She's as much of a mother to me as anyone.
My eyes are watering severely. Thankfully I'm whisked away into the Justice Building before I can have a full scale breakdown. Edward is by my side instantly, as soon as we're safe from the cameras. Tears begin streaming down my face. I can't help it. I collapse on him, but he, to my surprise, pushes me away. I'm in shock for a moment, but then he's eye-to-eye with me.
"Bella. Stay strong. We can do this, Bella. We're going to be ok. Don't cry. It's going to be ok," he says, but it's more of a command than a comfort.
The Peacekeepers drag me away from him with those words. I'm still crying. One of them smirks at me, but another looks genuinely distressed. They escort me to a holding room. It's more lush and luxurious than I imagined anywhere in Panem could be. There's a desk with several ancient-looking books. Plush sofas deck the room. Pillows softer than the ones back home are everywhere. The floor is marble and the sofas are silken. I sit on one of them, shivering. The room is empty except for me. It seems unusually dim, regardless of the crystal chandelier hanging above me. I'm alone. Suddenly the wooden walls are no longer friendly. It may as well be pitch black. This lasts for several minutes.
Alice and Rose are first to come in. I expected Alice, but Rose? Maybe she has forgiven me. They're furious, and don't waste any time on sentiment. I don't know what I expected, but their coldness is alarming.
"You're future is changing, Bella. I can't see it anymore. It's splitting into a thousand pieces and I don't know how to help you." Her voice is sharp, almost poisonous.
"What futures do you see?" I ask, trembling. She frowns.
"I can't tell you this time, Bella. It's fragile. The chances of you getting out are so slim that anything could change that future. Time can be dangerous," she replies.
"So I don't die?"
"I already told you, I can't see it anymore. Well I can see it. I see something... blurry."
"Blurry." My mind jumps to a particular episode of an old TV show, LOST. "Is blurry bad?"
"It means it's not set in stone. Usually I can see what's going to happen, even if it's not certain. Even if decisions are still to be made, I have a vague idea. But that's the problem. I see nothing. I can't see anything."
She glowers at me. I start to feel like her fiery stare is making me smolder under my skin. Rose keeps her gaze to the ground, staring down. She looks weary, defeated. It doesn't suit her. Alice stands still, waiting for my response.
"Alice," I begin.
"It's blurry, Bella. I can't see your future, something's blocking it." She stares straight through me, like she's trying to make out a face in the distance. "I can see something. But..."
A Peacekeeper darts in and grabs Alice with one hand and Rosalie with the other. "It's time for you two to leave."
"No!" Alice complains. She struggles, but doesn't use the force she could. Another Peacekeeper, the one who had smirked at my tears, comes in and wraps his arms around the blonde, noticeably holding her by the waist. He examines her from the bottoms of her feet to the top of her head, eyes lingering for a few seconds on her lips.
Rose growls and shrugs him off of her. The Peacekeeper rolls his eyes, throwing up his hands in exasperation. He doesn't look very sorry. Everyone's breathless from the brief struggle. Rose gazes at me for a few seconds. Then she pulls me into a full scale embrace, her eyes shut as though she's sobbing. "I'm sorry, Bella," she whispers weakly before the Peacekeeper drags them out of the room. Alice smiles at me sadly before the door shuts completely.
Jasper, is a rather unexpected visitor. I thought he would be keeping Esme from falling to pieces. I ask him about Emmett, who is evidently still with his mother and brother. I inquire about Edward. "He's as... good at masking emotions as ever. But he's not very happy."
I nod. The two of us sit in silence for a minute, and I realize that he's holding his breath. If sitting alone in a room with me without killing me is all he can manage, I'll take it. He's keeping it off of his face, but I can tell he's struggling. I stay as still as possible, keeping my heart-rate as low. But something about his presence is calming. "Alice is worried about you," he finally says. "I don't know what she saw, but she's terrified."
"She saw me dying, didn't she?"
Silence. "It's not the first time."
I shrug, clenching my jaw.
"You've been hanging out with vampires for years and now you're developing a sense of self-preservation?"
It's different. I have a feeling that one of them could kill me in a fraction of a second. The Capitol wants me to die a gory death, drowning in my own blood and being strangled in my own entrails, for their enjoyment. They want to feel the satisfaction of my pain-filled screams before I finally go silent. I'm nauseous at the image in my head.
"I'd rather one of you kill me than be in the Games," I manage. He makes a face and looks away.
"I really wish you hadn't said that," he mutters. I wish he would kill me. It's preferable to dying on there terms. It suddenly occurs to me how casually we're discussing my death, as though it's a simple and every day thing. I gulp and change the subject.
"Why did you come to talk to me, Jasper?"
"I wanted to know what Alice isn't telling me."
"Maybe she wants to pretend that nothing's going to happen..."
"Alice doesn't do that, Bella." He's as worried about me as he is about Alice and it's unsettling. I used to think he hated me. His death strengthened the rest of our family. Jasper's gaze suddenly shoots to the door. "I have to go. I'll send Esme. I'm sorry."
The guard bursts through, dragging Jasper out of the room. I mourn his comforting presence. It makes fear impossible, but now I'm about to have a full blown panic attack. I'm quivering, terrified. I look to the door, hoping to hear someone coming for me. I glance at the clock on the wall. I'll see Edward again in less than an hour. I sigh. He'll help, possibly.
Esme steps through the door, as promised. I almost wish she would stay with her son. Am I so selfish to enjoy her company? Yes. I am. Her eyes are black as obsidian. She hasn't had anything to drink in months. Edward says she has no desire. Her face is emotionless, and yet somehow the black in her irises doesn't conceal the agony in her eyes as it should. She sits next to me. As usual, her thirst frightens me. She could lose it at any moment, Edward says. She sits next to me, and suddenly I'm furious with her. I shake her by the shoulders. She is hardly rattled.
"Esme, wake up!" I demand, more forcefully than I thought I would be. It's frightening, looking at someone so empty. Jasper is usually by her side constantly, keeping her from falling to pieces. Katniss once told me she's as bad as Mrs. Everdeen, who lost her husband to the mines, too. I wonder why, in a world with the hovercrafts and trains that fly, people have to die doing work that machines could do. "Esme, just look at me!" I beg "Please!" She sighs and finally consents.
"Bella, I can't. I can't do this..." she says.
"No, you're stronger than this. You are not broken. Your children. They've lost their father. They don't need to lose their mother, too. They need you. Carlisle would want you to take over as head of the family now."
"I—"
"Listen to me." I'm not sure where my strength is coming from. "We're all hurting. It's fine to mourn. But find a life of your own. Your family needs you..."
"What family?! There are only five of us left. We had eight..."
"Five is a family. Get a job. Pick up Carlisle's work."
She shakes her head. "It's illegal."
So is life "Sell the medicines at the Hob." She doesn't respond. "Live in reality, Esme. Edward is going to die. I'm going to die. We won't sell our goods anymore, you won't have as much to pay your taxes."
Suddenly the Peacekeeper who I'm coming to hate is forcing her to leave the room. I know from her expression that Edward already had this conversation with her. I hope the two of us managed to reach her, somehow. She hears, as well as any vampire, but she chooses not to listen. Emotion finally seems to be there, and then I'm sure that I must have made a little impact on her. She covers her mouth with both hands as she leaves. From the sobs I hear outside, I know she's at least partially awake. I hear Jasper and Alice outside with her, trying to soothe her. Then I'm alone for a few more minutes.
My next visitor is unexpected. It's Madge from school.
"Hello, Bella," she says calmly. I look up at her. She's standing over me, and I can tell that she's not going to sit down.
"Hi, Madge."
"I brought you something." I still hate surprises. Old habits die hard. I'm more than resentful. "They let you wear one thing from your District in the arena. One thing to remind you at home. Will you wear this?" She takes something from her dress and places it in my open palm. She forces my hand closed. When she withdraws, I open my hand and find a circular gold pin. It displays an image of a small bird in flight.
"Your pin?" I squeak. My district token is the last thing on my mind.
"Here, I'll put it on your dress, all right?" Madge doesn't wait for an answer. She leans in and pins it to my dress. "Promise you'll wear it into the arena. Promise."
"Yeah," I manage weakly. Madge leaves. I should have been nicer to her back at school. I was never outright mean, but I should have made an attempt to be her friend.
No one else comes. He would have been next. I can hear his voice in my head, giving me advice, reminding me of who I am, telling me that he knows I would do the right thing. He would have told me that he thought of me as a daughter. He would have told me thank you for trying to save his family, despite Edward's stupidity in the matter. And he would have told me not to lose myself in the Games, but that if the right thing involved murder, then so be it. But he doesn't come. He can't. And it nearly breaks me.
My family is being claimed by the abhorrence that is Panem. I loathe this country. When they discover Edward is a vampire... I honestly have no idea what will happen. Perhaps, with this direct confrontation, he can arrange a truce between our people and theirs. We've done research, and I haven't heard of a single vampire coven that hasn't converted to our way of life. The other way is just too dangerous. With this fact, that vampires aren't harming humans, perhaps our races can live peacefully together. Though I know that the world doesn't work like that...
Then the door opens. My eyes dart up and I nearly scream. The visitor is impossible. A ghost, returned from the dead. But I'm not happy that she's returned for me. Because Jane stands before me.
She's wide eyed, almost frantic. I'm sure I'm dreaming. I have to be. Volterra was destroyed, along with the Volturi. Jane was among them. She has to be dead. She can't be here. And, more importantly, why is she saying farewell to me? We hate each other. Something else is wrong, too. Her eyes. They're honey-gold. It can't be happening...
Jane notices the shift in my posture. "Bella, I've changed," are her first words to me. I don't know what to say. I'm too shocked, too confused.
"I've noticed," I reply coldly, wishing I could disappear. She strolls over to me casually and sits on the couch next to me, as though I were an old friend of hers. She wears bright colors, the same variety that Effie Trinket might have. She's a member of the Capitol. Her gift must have earned her a high ranking in society.
"I'm here for a reason... And we don't have time for small talk." As if I would want to talk with her. "I'm still a member of the vampire government. There aren't many of us left, and I need your help. We need your help," she begins.
"I'm human. I'm nothing." I don't matter...
"It doesn't matter." What doesn't. That I'm human, or that I'm nothing? "What does matter is that there is a resistance. You and Edward will get close to President Snow many times. Even closer if you win. He's the one killing people. He's... he's gathering vampires, abducting them, and experimenting on them. He wants their venom and immortality." Sounds unlikely. "But there's a resistance movement, just like I said. Bella, I don't have much time. But it's our intention to assassinate President Snow. We need you and Edward to do this for us."
I'm shocked. Genuinely shocked. I almost want to laugh out loud. Here I am, far in the future, being sent to be slaughtered, and being enlisted by Jane of all people to assassinate a president who was born hundreds of years after me. Yippee. "This is a lot to process," I say, not sure how else to respond. "Why me? Why not another Tribute?"
"He has body guards that aren't human and technology that should be illegal. But if you win he will actually put a crown on your head. I'm sure that's close enough for you to strike."
"Why not someone else?" Am I agreeing to this? No, no. Just trying to gain information.
"You and Edward know of vampires. And you have something to gain. Something that was lost."
"What—"
"I can't speak anymore about this. But more than just our kind rest on the President's death. They'll find out. They'll hear. But if you kill him..." she pauses. "There is a prize more than life to be won. A prize to some worth to some more than control of Panem itself. This gift will be given to you under the worst of circumstances. And soon after you receive it, you will give it away happily, so you can keep it... you have an important role to play, Bella. It's just not the one you think it is."
I glare at her. "You're not Alice."
Jane smiles. Whoa. I half expected her teeth to be rotting out. "I think I know what I'm talking about when it comes to this. Everything I have said will happen... you may think it belongs to you. But you will lose it if you don't kill the President, even when everything indicates that you're safe. He'll take it from you and you will never be able to have it back."
I notice that we've been inching closer, me turning towards her, she turning towards me. We're facing each other. I'm about to cry for no apparent reason. "Jane..." I begin, about to dismiss everything she's said.
She takes my hands. I glance down at them. She smiles in a genuinely friendly way. "Trust me, Bella. When the time is right... you'll know."
She glances around anxiously.
"Why are you telling me this?" I demand. She stands suddenly, and reappears at the door. The smile on her face is genuine. Warm. Friendly. She says something that I never wanted and never expected to hear.
"Because I care about you, Bella."
With that she's gone.
An Author's Note
Too cheesy? Too predictable? Too weird?
Next chapter covers the entire ride to the Capitol. After that, we have: Opening Ceremonies, A Little Fluff, Mystery Chapter, Interviews, Mystery Chapter, Games.
Also, to encourage reviews, please include the weirdest fact you can think of in the review section. I'll choose a winner based on whoever wrote the weirdest fact. Winner receives free bragging rights. Remember, you don't need to sign in and you don't need an account. You just type and click a button. That's it.
See you Wednesday!
~Sun