I have a running title for these next two chapters - "Subtext Sucks." Here's part one.
Stepping next to her bed, Kate pulls the covers aside, a sigh escaping at the thought that it is nearly midnight and she is only just crawling into bed when her phone rings. She knows it's Castle, even before she sees his name on the screen. While she's happy he's calling-she's had to stop herself from calling him herself on multiple occasions-she's worried the substance of their conversation will inevitably venture into the territory they've agreed is forbidden until their current case is solved.
"Hey, Castle. What's up?"
"I'm having a 'What Would Nikki Do' moment and thought maybe you could help."
"This is the fourth Nikki Heat book you've written, and you've never once asked my opinion. Why start now?"
Truthfully, she doesn't care about his reasons. He was writing and thought to ask her when he came across a problem. As much as she wants to be annoyed, she can't bring herself to be.
"Maybe I just want to make sure it is perfect. Making it up is fine from time to time, but now and again I do like to get the details right."
Balancing her phone carefully between her jaw and her shoulder, Kate situates the pillows against the headboard. Then sitting, she draws the covers to her waist, wiggling a little to become comfortable.
"Ok, then. Tell me, what kind of predicament do you have Nikki in this time?"
"It's not so much professional as it is personal," he says. She can hear the deep breath he takes when he shares the information. He's nervous about her reaction?
"Castle, we agreed-"
"You're right, we did. And I swear to you, this is a Nikki Heat question."
"If you say so."
"I do say so. Anyway, Nikki is having a bit of an emotional crisis. She's gotten used to having Rook at the precinct, and-"
Kate laughs, even though that is one of the details Castle has gotten painfully right about their relationship. She even said it out loud to him after she shot Dick Coonan. And of course Castle would find a way to tell the world, since so much of Nikki Heat was a work of fiction anyway.
"Do you have a comment?"
"The comments I have could fill a book, Castle."
"See? This is why I called you."
"Because I call you on your bullshit?"
"I like to think of it as keeping me on my toes."
"However you want to spin it, Writer Boy." She waits for his reaction to the nickname, and he doesn't disappoint her.
"Hey, if you're going to call me that, at least acknowledge that I'm a man, not a boy."
"Could have fooled me. And you seemed to think it was perfectly fine to call Josh Doctor Motorcycle Boy."
The line goes quiet, and for the briefest of moments she thinks he hung up on her. But he simply clears his throat and starts what she thinks is an apology.
"Kate…"
"No, that was bad form. I shouldn't have mentioned him."
"Yeah, well I didn't exactly respect your relationship with him either."
She opts to hum her acceptance of his kind-of apology, not wanting them to get too caught up in the past right now. Didn't he initially call her with a 'Nikki Heat problem?'
"So about Rook and Nikki?" she asks in an effort to get them back on track. If the were to continue down this road, they would end up hurting each other as opposed to getting closer. The fact that most of the hurt was unintentional is beside the point. They've still both hurt each other, and that can't be erased.
"Yeah, well Rook gets sent by First Press to do an assignment in Paris for an extended amount of time. And I'm not sure how Nikki would react to that. I mean, they're together, but she's not very demonstrative with her feelings."
"Why are you asking me, though? You're the one who wrote her that way."
This is not about Nikki Heat. She's certain of that. But if this is the game he wants to play right now, she'll follow his lead.
"I told you-authenticity. You are my inspiration for Nikki, remember?"
"Thanks for the reminder."
"I mean that as a compliment."
"And yet you basically just told me I'm not very demonstrative with my feelings."
"Is that not...authentic?"
She has to give him credit. He knows how to get her talking-how to draw her out-even when she doesn't want to.
"Are you asking about me personally? Because I was under the impression this was a Nikki question."
"Let me rephrase the question. As a fan...of the genre...how do you perceive Nikki's reluctance to share the extent of her feelings with Rook?"
"I think…" Kate starts with hesitation. She needs to be careful and word this in a way that applies to both her and the character she's inspired. Castle is looking for answers all right, but she doubts they're really about Nikki. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if he concocted this whole scenario for his book because it mirrored what they're going through in their own lives right now. "I think Nikki has always been a little wary of Rook. But the relationship is probably getting to a point where it's getting real, and she needs to be sure that he's in it as deep as she is. And she's just the type of person who isn't going to fully show her hand until she gets some confirmation from him that he's right there with her."
"Wait, back up. Why do you think Nikki is wary of Rook?"
"Every time they seem to gain some solid footing, one of Rook's old girlfriends, flings, whatever, shows up and makes her question just how committed he could be to their relationship."
"But some of Nikki's old boyfriends have made appearances, too. Rook isn't the only one with a past."
"True, but Nikki's past hasn't been all over Page Six."
"Touche."
"I'm just saying-"
"No, I get it. Rook has a bit of a reputation of being a ladies man. I can see how that would be hard for Nikki to dismiss."
"When he's in the city, working with her even, she probably finds it easy to keep an eye on him, as horrible as that may sound. And it's not like they haven't seen their share of bumps in the road with them seeing each other on a regular basis. But with him out of town-hell, across the ocean-I can see where she would be apprehensive."
"I follow you, though I don't necessarily agree with your assessment of Rook's personal life. The books are told from Nikki's point of view, after all. The reader only gets to know parts of Rook that he shares with her."
"And you say Nikki isn't one to share? Because I seem to remember many arguments that could have been avoided if Rook had just been up front with Nikki instead of trying to hide things from her."
"Oh, that's rich, Beckett," Castle says through a laugh, though he sounds annoyed. "If anything, I overshare."
"I wasn't talking about you, Castle. We're talking about Nikki and Rook, remember?" Kate says the words, but she doesn't for a minute believe any of it.
"Yeah, you're right. Sorry."
This charade they're playing is wearing thin on her patience. She doesn't like putting him off anymore than she already has, but she's afraid that they'll end up saying hurtful words if she doesn't end this soon.
"Listen, if Nikki is upset about him leaving, it probably has more to do with the fact that she doesn't like being without him than it does that she doesn't trust him. And considering my familiarity with this particular literary character, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she just doesn't know how to come out and tell him what's really on her mind. Chances are, she hides her feelings with annoyance."
"What's so hard about admitting that she's going to miss him?"
"You created the character. Is it that difficult for you to recognize how Rook might react to Nikki admitting something like that?"
"I think it's sweet."
"Well, that's endearing, but what does Rook think?"
"I see what you mean," he says after a brief silence. "Thanks, Kate. You've been a wealth of knowledge."
"Sure, Castle. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Absolutely. We have a case to solve. Until tomorrow, Detective."
"Night."
Kate hits the end button on her phone and plugging it into the charger next to her bedside table, she turns the light off. Placing her head against the pillow, she pulls the blankets up to her shoulders and closes her eyes.
But it's no good. But despite her best intentions to get some rest, she soon finds herself on her back in the middle of the bed, the blankets discarded. As much as she tried to play along with Castle's game during their conversation, she has no illusions that he didn't recognize the secrets she revealed. Sure, some of them were cleverly disguised as Nikki's characteristics and tendencies, but the truth is that Castle knows her pretty damn well. He did this intentionally, hoping to get some kind of head start on what kind of conversation they would be having once this case is solved.
Had he done something like this three years ago, she would be running right for Captain Montgomery first thing in the morning and begging him to find some reason-any reason-to get Castle out of the precinct. But now? Now, all she can do is smile and imagine the numerous ways her life may soon start imitating art.
Again, much love to Kylie for all her help. Also, thank you to everyone who has jumped on this train and is going along for the ride.