"What we must do is defeat the alien by using our minds!" I exclaimed.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Non-violently I mean," I said, "We must spy on him, find out what he does day-by-day and then go up on him when he least expects it!"

"And how shall we do that?" Rose asked.

"Oh I will invite him over and attach a camera on to him," I said, "Then when he least expects it we shall kill him in a private place!" I yelled.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Fine, as long as you're the one who gets killed and not me."

"NOOOOO! WERE KILLING THE ALIEN!" I screamed in agony.

"Fine!" Rose pouted. She then went downstairs and called up The Doctor and had him come over. Clara came over as well.

I woke up the next morning to an amazing smell of a certain chocolate-laden dessert cooking up in the kitchen. I rushed downstairs excitedly. Clara was baking a chocolate cake!

"Yum! Smells great Clara!" I said.

"Thanks! It won't be ready for about another 20 minutes though hun," she said.

"Okay, make sure you save two slices for me please! I'm gonna go do my makeup and my hair," I said. I happily skipped upstairs.

Two hours later I excitedly went downstairs, expecting a mouthful of delicious chocolate cake…..Then I saw it.

The wide, circular silver cake dish no longer had a full chocolate cake on it. All that was left of the magnificent, freshly cooked slab of chocolate-filled delicacy was a few crumbs. I was so angry.

"BASTARDS! I WILL KILL YOU!" I yelled angrily.

Doctor Who then looked up and said, "Sorry Evelyn….it's just that you were really late and it was just so-"

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES!" I screamed angrily at them. I then stomped my foot on the ground so hard, I was surprised my ankle did not snap in half. I don't know why he even bothered trying to apologize.

I could hear muffled laughter coming from the table.

I stormed towards the table. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKERS LAUGHING AT?"

"Evelyn! Calm the fuck down you crazy bitch!" The Doctor told me. It was as if the fool thought that I would listen.

The Doctor and Clara were now full-blown laughing at me. I began to cry.

I marched on over to The Doctor, stood in front of him and looked him straight in the eyes.

"LISTEN ASSHOLE, I AM NOT 'OVERDRAMATIC' OR A 'CRAZY BITCH'. I AM JUST PASSIONATE! GOT THAT PUNK?" I ordered him.

He erupted into a fit of laughter.

"YOU GUYS ARE HORRIBLE!" I cried out sadly. I then stormed off. When I got up to my room, I could hear them still laughing.

I was up inside my room bawling my eyes out when I heard a knock on my door.

"No..NO! I am fucking tired of being the laughing stock here! I am tired of being made fun of by you fuckers!" I cried out.

"Aw come on! You pretty much ask for it!" The Doctor said laughing.

"No I don't! I'm tortured here! You all just bully me!"

"No you're not you overdramatic prima donna," Doctor Who told me.

"GO AWAY! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!" I screamed. I ran down the stairs and tripped. I fell down and immediately got back up once I got to the bottom. You know, I trip and fall down so often I am now just used to falling and getting back up.

I ran out into the woods sobbing. I slipped on the wet grass but then I just got back up again LIKE A FUCKING CHAMP. I ran around the surrounding woods for 20 minutes, and then I went back inside.

I went inside the house to see Doctor Who crying his eyeballs out.

"What is wrong?" I asked.

"My yorkie Trina is missing!" he wailed. The Doctor had bought himself a teacup yorkshire terrier earlier that week. He's a bit of a pantywaist, (Does that sound familiar to you guys?)

"OH NOOOO!" I cried out.

I then joined the search party to find her as Doctor Who went up the glass staircase.

"Trina? Yoo-hoooo? Where are you?" I asked desperately. Then I heard the shower on! I figured that the little doggy must've been taking a shower!

I went up the steps and went into the bathroom and opened up the shower curtain. Only it was not the dog, it was...

DOCTOR WHO! He squeaked when he saw me. He tried to cover his ding dong with his hands but it was too big to cover up! Then I went back downstairs.

Eventually Matt and Luke found the little dog ran over by a car. Oh poo!

AN: This fanfiction is "bad" you say? "Irrelevant to the original" you say? At least I'm creative! Why I bet all of you reading this in are amongst those mediocre writers who follow the draconian story mark! Aw, you probably don't know what I'm talking about, do you? Too bad :)