They hadn't left the apartment in days.

While Maria was more than comfortable to stay home to avoid the cold temperatures outside, Natasha was less than okay with being couped up. It reminded her too much of the punishments that she endured during her training.

The sight of the snow outside only made Maria's skin crawl and retreat further into herself. Her days were spent napping on the couch, buried under a thick throw rug to keep warm. Natasha only left her spot by the window to wake the brunette up when she began thrashing violently from a nightmare.

Her nights weren't spent much different. Every night the TV was left on downstairs and Maria's door was left open. At least three times a night, Natasha was waking from a light sleep to wake her up and calm her down. The fear in her eyes was too familiar for Natasha's liking.

Maria was half asleep on the couch, a grilled cheese sandwich resting on the sofa's arm as she hugged her left arm to her body.

"You need to eat something other than grilled cheese," said Natasha, as she deposited a glass of water and Maria's antibiotics on the side table before joining her on the cough.

"It's comfort food," she shrugged tiredly. She felt exhausted but was too scared to close her eyes. She sighed heavily. "I'm struggling to stomach water. Anything other than something this simple will be too much."

"Well you have to eat more than one sandwich a day."

"I'm not very hungry," she muttered around what appeared to be the final parts of her sandwich. There was still a third left.

She shifted in her seat restlessly and rubbed at her shoulder.

"But you are sore?" Natasha asked.

"Yes."

"Do you need anything?"

"You mean other than for these burns to heal, my shoulder to stop aching, this headache to go away and the nightmares to stop?" Maria snapped.

Natasha wasn't surprised at the harsh reaction and chose to take her spot back by the window. Even though she knew that they weren't friends and weren't close, Natasha had the impression that there was at least respect and a level of trust there; Maria had willingly let the red head re-dress the burns that she couldn't reach and was beginning to see her face as a comforting sight when she was woken up.

She could remember returning from assignments which plagued her with nightmares. Despite the constant reprogramming, the nightmares were stronger and even now she woke up from them. Silence settled in the apartment and Maria almost nodded off again.

"I'm sorry."

Natasha looked up from the window. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"Yeah I do," Maria raised her head to meet Natasha's eyes.

"You've been on home soil for barely a week. What happened to you? It wasn't your fault and you couldn't control it," Natasha said. "Believe me, I understand everything that is going through your head right now."

"No you don't."

"Trust me, I do. Probably more than you think." Another silence settled until Maria yawned. "You should get some sleep again."

"Is it stupid if I'm scared to go to sleep?" Maria whispered. "It's like I lived through it in reality and I don't think I can keep doing it every time I close my eyes."

Natasha smiled gently and took her spot next to the brunette on the couch. "It's not stupid. I know that you can. You're strong, Hi-….Maria. When I went through this, I went through it alone and it was usually used for punishment. I still have nightmares. But you? You're not alone. If you need help, I am here okay? I may be more on the frostier side for this kind of thing but I'm still here. And I can still help."

Maria sighed heavily and shakily. "I'm tired."

"So go to sleep. I'll sit right next you if it's what you need," Natasha offered.

Maria looked at her out of silent curiosity for a few moments. "You're nothing like what I thought you were."

"What did you think I was?" Natasha asked. She knew what everyone thought of her, of all the stereotypes and ways people had seen her. But nothing had really prepared her for this answer.

"You're more…human than I realised, I guess."

Within minutes, Maria was asleep and Natasha was left wondering what it meant to be something even she never saw herself as, as the afternoon faded into evening.