A/N: A collection of stuff originally posted at the TvTropes Negima Fanfic forum. All by me, of course. More harem and less Yue here, unfortunately…
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Yue's Harem Strikes Back!
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Negima and all the other good stuff doesn't belong to me. I'm only using them for a little while. I'll put them back, I swear!
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FOR GREAT JUSTICE!
There had been An Incident. Cross-dimensional thingies and elder gods of some sort had been involved. But when everything was over, and there was only getting their visitors back home to worry about, the League had foisted them of on Young Justice (well, it was better than Speedy's 'Junior Justice League') until they were able to make the machine to send them back.
"So, you're really from Mars?" Megan said as she chatted with Asuna on the couch in the living area.
"Technically, " Asuna said. "I mean, it's technically on Mars, it's just kinda to one side in a magical dimension. But yeah, basically I'm a magical martian princess, for a certain value of Martian."
"Cool!"
"Done!" Chisame announced, smirking at Robin. "Hacked Public Safety Division 4's database. In your face!"
"Darn it!" Robin cried, as his holographic display only then signaled it was done. "Rematch! First one to hack the most Swiss banks wins!"
"Sore loser, " Chisame sneered, grabbing her scepter and the race was on again.
"You were right, " Aqualad said as he stroked the little furry thing with a smile. "Kittens are therapeutic."
Chachamaru smiled in satisfaction as she converted yet another soul to the Neko side. "Here, allow me to show you where they like to be scratched..."
There was a splat as Kid Flash slammed into yet another wall.
At the finish line, Cocone raised an arm. "Misora wins."
"No fair!" Kid Flash cried out as he straightened his nose. "Do over!"
The mage-nun smirked at him. "Hey, not my fault you can't turn or stop worth damn! How about I get someone to make you training wheels?"
Kid Flash glared at her before he smiled. "Damn, you're perfect! A cute girl who can keep up with me!"
"Let's go redecorate the command room!" Misora cried.
"I'll get the paint!" Kid flash agreed, and they dashed off.
Cocone sniffed. "Misora, I want in on it too..." she whispered.
Superboy stared down nervously at the smiling boy across from him. "Negi, I think we need to stop talking to each other."
Negi blinked, looking shocked and hurt. "Huh? Why?"
"I think you're making me gay. Honestly, my self-image isn't strong enough to be around you..."
Somewhere in another universe, the Averunccus line sneezed...
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At The Seraglio Bar
Ranma, Negi, Nanoha, Tenchi, Yuuto, Kyon, and Kazuki all sat at the bar, staring intently into thier cups like they held the secrets of the universe. This fic having kids, they were all drinking soft drinks.
"More than twenty years and it doesn't get any easier, " Ranma grumbled. "Damn it, Takahashi! You gave the dog a proper resolution, you gave Maison Ikkoku a porper resolution, heck you even gave the nun-fetishist boxer a proper resolution! WHY NOT ME?-!"
If he was less manly, what he did next could have been described as sobbing into his drink. Tenchi idly patted him on the back. As the second most senior, he knew what the other man was going through. Hell, they'd been through it side by side several times over the years.
Negi and Nanoha gulped. "Is it really that bad?" Negi asked, clutching his lemonade.
Tenchi nodded solemnly. "If it ends without a proper resolution... well, the shipping wars will echo across time. And even if there sometimes IS. Have you heard of Keitaro?"
Negi nodded slowly.
"Because of the damned anime, a lot of people don't consider his wedding cannon, despite the fact his wife obviously loves him... albeit in a slightly violent way, " Tenchi said. "If your love interest has hit you even ONCE, thn no matter how fluffy the two of you get, peope are sti going to try to break you up."
"But..." Nanoha said. "I've hit EVERYONE of my love interests!"
"Yes, but you get an exception, " Ranma said sadly. "You have PERMANENT boobs."
They all sighed.
"And the worse thing is, we'll be the ones who get remembered," Yuuto said. "The harem as a genre is dying out. After all, Akamatsu said so and as everyone knows..."
"AKAMATSU DID THE RESEARCH!" they all chorused, taking a drink.
The door of the bar opened, and Chisame and Yue walked in. They saw Negi and made a beeline towards him. "Hey, sensei, aren't you a little too young to be in a bar?" Chisame said.
"No age limit," Kazuki said, pointing at the rules. It said nothing about incest, shotacon, lolicon, or any of a lot of squick.
"Why are we here, sensei?" Yue asked.
"Because it's about to happen to you too, " Negi said. "In fact, it has already. And when you realize it, you'll want to go here to forget."
The two girls blinked. "Forget what?" Chisame asked.
"You've heard of gay bars, lesbian bars and biker bars?" Kyon said. "Well, this is the harem sufferers bar. Drink up."
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Infringement
"DIE, BITCH!" Anya cried, throwing fire spells of varying lethality
"MAKE ME, YOU FLAT-CHESTED SKANK!" Homura snarled, in her burnign form and replying back just as lethally.
"WHO ARE CALLING SOMEONE WITH SUCH A SMALL CHEST IT CAN'T BE SEEN WITH A MICROSCOPE!"
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT, BUT I WISH IT THOUGHT OF IT, FLATTY!"
"DIE!"
"BURN!"
Luna and Nodoka both sweatdropped. "Girls, can't we just get along?" the ex-spy asked.
"NO!" the two flame-users cried. "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FLAME USING LOVE-INTEREST WITH THIS HAIRSTYLE!"
Nodoka and Luna sighed again. "Where are Yue, Negi and Chisame to Pornomancer them into submission when you need them?" Nodoka asked.
Luna patted her in a comforting manner.
Nodoka blushed. "Luna, you're supposed to pat me on the back, not the ass."
They watched the two still going at it and sighed one last time.
"We really shouldn't have let them talk to Sasuke-san..." Luna mused philosophically.
Elsewhere…
"Itachi is dead!" Sasuke cried. "Finally, there is only one dark-haired pretty boy with weird red eyes in this manga!"
Naruto facepalmed. "THAT'S why you wanted to kill him?" he said in disbelief.
Sasuke gave him a look as if to say Naruto was being an idiot, which was basically a more intense version of his usual look for Naruto. "Well, DUH."
"Kishimoto! I demand you reboot this manga to something with a more understandable plot and fewer Ex Machinas!" Naruto cried.
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Game Breaker
"So... this entire world is made of data?" Chisame said. She began to grin.
Lucimon smirked at her. "I don't see why you feel this helps you, human! I am still the most powerful being in the Digital World."
Chisame drew out her Card. "ADEAT!" she cried.
Pro-tip: don't mess with someone with a data-manipulating Artifact someplace made completely of data...
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3-A Sex Ed
At last, the day many in 3-A had lustily been waiting for had finally arrived: the day Negi had to talk about human reproduction.
"HMPH HMH HMPH!" Asuna and Chisame cried from where they'd been tied, gagged and shoved under their desks.
"OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Ayaka went, finally breaking out a proper oujo laugh. "At last! There's no way I'm letting you two busy-bodies interfere with this!"
"Sorry Asuna, " Konoka said, bowing to her friend in apology. The girl had been the one to blindside Asuna. Later reflection would say this as highly indicative of something...
"All right everyone! Make sure you have your bananas, lollipops and other long, thin foods to suck on suggestively for when Negi-sensei gets here!" Haruna said, passing them out.
As the bell rang, the class hurried to their seats, eagerly awaiting the spectacle to come. When the door slid open, however...
"Kaede?" Ayaka exclaimed.
The slanty-eyed girl smiled as she entered with a backpack and carrying a large carrier, like that used for big dogs. It obviously contained something. Water dripped from one corner. "Please sit down everyone. Negi-sensei has asked me to be the one to handle the sex-education lecture."
"NNNNNNOOOOOOO!-!-!-!-!" Ayaka, Misa, Haruna, Nodoka and Evangeline cried in despair, plunging to their knees, their fists raised to rail against the heavens.
Yue blinked. "Nodoka?"
Nodoka blushed and slipped back into her seat, trying to pretend she'd been there the whole time.
"What do you know about sex-ed?" Sakurako cried, pointing.
Kaede just smiled. "I'm a female ninja."
"What does that have to do with... any... thing..." Sakurako trailed off. Everyone got this sort of glazed look to their eyes. Said eyes soon widened, and a variety of expressions came over the class, from dawning comprehension to nosebleeds to slight nausea.
Kaede nodded, laying her backpack down on Negi's desk and opening the carrier, pulling out a creature the size of a large dog. Everyone drew back slightly in reflex. "This is Octillery-kun. I've had him since I was about nine, and he's had me. Isn't he adorable? Now, since you're all beginners, I've bought some lubricant..."
3-A wasn't seen for the rest of the day...
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Valentines
Asuna told herself she wasn't spying as Negi wrapped up the box of chocolates, the home-made card with the rather sappy poem in it, and the flowers and put them all together in a box. "Whose it for?" she asked, trying to sound casual.
Negi blushed. "No one," he said.
She definitely wasn't stalking him as she followed behind and saw him drop it off in a mail box. Come the 02/14, no one in class seemed more smug than usual over the usual chaos of chocolates.
She'd almost forgotten about it until two weeks later. The package showed up at their door. It had been stamped, "Return to sender."
Where the destination was supposed to be, it merely said, "To mama. Happy Valentines Day."
She turned and walked out the door, and caught Konoka before she could arrive. They spend all day somewhere else, and when they got back to the dorm, the box was gone.
Both ignored the smell of rotting flowers coming from Negi's closet...
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The Other Way It Could Have Gone
Negi would always remember that night. When the demons had been about to kill him and Nekane, that woman had appeared. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. She had saved them, and defeated all the demons. They hadn't been able to touch her.
Afterwards, on that snowy hill overlooking what was left of his old home, the woman had knelt down to hug him, and called him son. And then she'd vanished.
Everyone always told Negi about his father, the Thousand Master, had been a great hero. But when he asked, no one would tell him who his mother was. They said he must have hallucinated what he saw.
Still, that night, he made a vow. And he made it again as he readied to leave for Japan, to become a teacher, the first step to becoming a Magister Magi.
"Mother…" he breathed. "I know you're still alive. I swear, I won't rest until I find out who you are."
Because while his father had saved people, his mother had saved him…
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Rating
Chamo never tried to rate Negi's feelings. Not because he found it distasteful or anything, and not just because of what the reaction of the girls might be. It was because he was afraid of what he would find.
Negi loved his class. That was instantly obvious to anyone with eyes. After all, he'd taken a spike to the chest of them, gone up against JACK RAKAN for them, risked his very soul for them. The fact he loved them was obvious.
But Chamo dreaded the day they realized what kind of love it was.
After all, their own charts contained a column for Ero, romantic, friendship or platonic. Would they ever wonder what column was filled with Negi's feelings?
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- To be continued...
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A/N:Please review, C&C welcome. LOTS OF REVIEWS!
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.