A/N: Once more into the breach!

It Came From Yue's Harem…!

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Disclaimer: Negima and all the other good stuff doesn't belong to me. I'm only using them for a little while. I'll put them back, I swear!

Badass Bookworms

Ala Alba waited at the airport, watching the new arrivals. It was Kazumi who spotted them first, her sharp eyes seeing their friends even through the rush. "There they are! Konoka-chan! Nodoka-chan! Yue-chan! Haruna-chan! Over here!"

The four librarians saw them, waving and pulling their bags towards the group. As they got closer, however, Ala Alba gasped.

"Ojou-sama!" Setsuna exclaimed, paling. "What happened to you?"

Konoka laughed easily, fingering the chunk missing from her ear. "Oh, this? It's nothing Set-chan, a Neo-Nazi's bullet just came too close. I thought I'd keep it as a souvenir."

Haruna pouted. "Only Konoka got anything cool this trip!" she complained. "All I got was a new whip!" she pulled the long length of leather from her bag, showing it to everyone.

Yue rolled her eyes. "Don't mind her," the philosopher deadpanned. "She's just annoyed she didn't get the chance to drive the tank this time."

"Dr. Jones promised it was my turn this year!" Haruna cried. "It was in last year's minutes and everything! Damn you Indiana! I'm telling your sexy, Sean Connery-esque dad!"

Everyone looked at them in askance. "What about you, Nodoka?" Negi asked desperately. "Did you have fun?"

Nodoka nodded enthusiastically. "Lady Himalaya Smedry taught all sorts of new filing systems! I can't wait to try the reverse lighthouse method!"

Chamo suddenly straightened. "I smell panties, " he said. "Lot's of panties."

"Oh, that's just Yue, Haruna said. "They're her souvenirs."

"You bought panties as souvenirs?" Chisame asked, confused.

Yue looked shifty. "Not exactly 'bought'... they were sort of... left to me."

The penny dropped, and Chamo fainted.

Haruna sighed melancholically. "I can't WAIT for next year's Badass Bookworm, Librarian and Archaeologist convention..."

I just hope we get something other than Neo Nazi's and Cold War Psychics this time," Yue said, it's getting repetitive.

"Don't worry!" Konoka said. "Yuuno-kun said he was going to show everyone something called 'Jewel Seeds' next year..."

TNT

Setsuna stared, twitching at the two women who, to her eternal mortification and soul-crushing agony, seemed to be getting along quite well. "The world hates me," she whimpered. "It is trying to punish me for my sins and failures, and decided that death was too good for me."

Asuna rolled her eyes, hefting her harisen and debating whether giving Setsuna a good whack up the head with it would do any good. Better hold off until later. "You're being melodramatic, Setsuna. It's not that bad. At least she's melowed out and not longer out for you blood... or anything else."

"Give it time, " Setsuna said, mining the situation for all the gloom it held. Itoshiki Nozomu would have been proud. "She'll remember me eventually... and then sensei will remember she's still teaching me... and before you know it, I'll be perversely involved in their disturbing sexual roleplaying as the naughty truant student who needs to be punished..."

Asuna took a moment to wipe the corner of her mouth, eyeing Setsuna and wondering exactly how much the other girl was holding back. "Um... I don't know how to respond to that... But Konoka seems to be okay with them. I mean, there she is talking to them now..."

Setsuna perked up slightly, then became depressed again as she saw Konoka talking to the two. "This can only end in tears..."

"Set-chan!" Konoka called out, holding a riding crop and slapping it against her other hand. "Your sensei, kohai and Magistra want a word with you, you naughty student you..."

Setsuna sighed, rubbing her rear. "What did I tell you... disturbing sexual roleplaying that's going to end in tears... COMING OJOU-SAMA!"

Asuna rolled her eyes as the swordswoman walked over. "All that complaining, and yet it was her idea to introduce Touko-sensei and Tsukuyomi to each other... HEY, WAIT UNTIL I LEAVE THE SCENE BEFORE TAKING OFF YOUR— ACK! I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT!"

...

Names

It was all, clearly, Haruna's fault.

"My name is Sextum, " the Averruncus had said.

And Haruna, damn her, said it first. "Nice to meet you, Sexy-chan!"

Really, was there any way to lose a nickname like that?

Soul

Hakase stared, flabbergasted, as Chachamaru rose to her feet shakily. "This is impossible! That EMP burst should have wiped out all data in your hard drives and your control systems! How are you still moving? Not that it isn't a good thing, but...

Chachamaru shrugged. "The human soul is not bound to heart, brain, bone or flesh. I do not see why mine would be bound to drives, wires, or actuator."

Hakase gave her a look. "Next you'll tell me there's life after death."

Sayo pouted to one side. "Why does everyone forget me?"

Decadent Habits

"Why," Sister Shakti said, "are these skirts so short?"

Akamatsu smiled. "Budget cuts?"

"I feel kinda sexy," Misora commented, checking out her new clothes in the mirror.

Cocone pouted, jealously clamping on to Misora's exposed legs. "Mine..." she claimed.

Equal and Opposite Attraction

"Hakase-san?" Chachamaru said, voice slightly muffled.

"Hmm...?" the scientist said as she frantically scribbled notes on this newest upgrade.

"Perhaps the super electromagnet isn't such a good idea, " the gynoid said from where she was glued to the refrigerator. "At least until you add an 'off' switch..."

Unequally Rational and Emotional

"—seriously, what's the point of giving me breasts?" Chachamaru ranted. "What good are they except to make me a sex object? And what's with the ears? HELLO, too much To Heart, I think, plus what's the point? More for the robo-fetishists? And—"

Chisame and Evangeline clutched at the front of a sweating Hakase's coat. "Get my personality out of her, " the hacker said.

"NOW, " Evangeline growled.

"— and seriously, a crush on Negi-sensei not only makes no biological sense, it—!"

Chisame/Beatrix: bonding over being the normal one

It was, Chisame found, nice to talk to someone who understood.

"He's constantly doing something stupid," she said, her back against the other girl's, tapping idly on her laptop. "Dark Magic training, researching ways to save the world— which is all well and good, but he was supposed to be training to fight Rakan, which is its OWN little bundle of stupidity altogether— looking for his father, insisting on 'Befriending' everyone we run into. And don't even get me started on the kinds of girls he attracts!"

Beatrix nodded, running a polishing cloth over her souken. "Ojou-sama is much the same. She is intelligent, but this intelligence seems to lead her to do... stupid things."

Chisame snorted. "Boy, do I know it. Why is it smart people can be such morons?"

She felt Beatrix shrug. "Hubris, I suppose."

"What would they do without us to keep them in line?" Chisame wondered.

"Hilarity will probably ensue," Beatrix predicted.

They both nodded, going back to doing their thing. After a while, Chisame shivered, pulling the blanket around her bare legs up to her equally bare shoulders.

"Is this technically, cheating, you think?" she said.

Bea put down the sword, turning so she could also cover her naked body with the sheet. "I don't see why. Ojou-sama is sleeping with Yue and Sextum managed to get to Negi-sama before you, that's all."

Chisame drooped slightly. "By old self would have screamed bloody murder at me considering this being the 'normal' one."

Beat nibbled at her ear, making her jerk. "Your old self," she said sensually, "obviously needed to get laid."

And they did.

Cargo Ship

Evangeline stared at the diminutive gynoid before her, under the effects of an age-change pill.

"Master?" Chachamaru asked, concerned.

Eva wiped the drool from the corner of her mouth. "Chachamaru, " she said thickly, "can I see you in my bedroom?"

Compacts, Eva realized, were fun after all.

The Twilight Zone

It was a perfectly normal day in Mahora. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the pedos were desiring their teacher when suddenly...

CRACK!

They entered the Twilight Zone...

Chisame rolled her eyes. "Big deal. The Twilight Zone would be an improvement."

Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Zone.

Suddenly, Evangeline screamed as she began to sparkle...

Averruncus Job Hunt

Quartum: Hey, I got a job!

Fate: Where?

Quartum: I'm Kaworu Nagisa's stunt double in the next Evangelion movie!

Quintum: Darn it! I was perfect for that job! All I got was a stint understudying to Rei Ayanami from Nobody Dies! I have to wear fake breasts!

Sextum: You shouldn't complain. I wanted that job. I'd switch with you in a heartbeat.

Fate: Why? What job did you get?

Sextum: Some sword-weilding magical girl.

Fate: Oh, that's no too bad..

Sextum: The script is by Gen Urobuchi.

(beat)

Fate: Brothers, a moment of silence for our sister's soon-to-be-dead sanity.

Quartum: On second thought, being a Rei-pist isn't so bad after all...

AND NOW, WE INTERRUPT THIS FIC FOR SOME HOMURA-WORSHIP(Written around episode 10)

Akemi Homura walked down the dark streets of Mitakihara, trying not to look suspicious. Not that the Yakuza would be likely to suspect little girls of having stolen thier entire arsenal, but they might decide to take their frustrations on one.

Suddenly, a figure stepped out of an alley into her view, directly in her path. "Akemi Homura?" the girl asked, her hair in twin buns, a blush on each cheek.

Homura frowned. "Yes?" she asked.

To her surprise, the girl walked up to her, took her hands, and started kissing them as she fell to her knees. "Hang in there!" the girl said. "You're my inspiration! Don't give up you, hear me? I'm rooting for you!"

Homura blinked, stumbling back in confusion as the girl released her hands. "W-what?"

The girl smiled and drew out what looked like a pocket watch. There was a click and she vanished.

"Show-off..." a voice behind Homura said, and she whirled to find a short, busty girl. The girl looked startled. "Oh, I don't mean you, Homura-dono! I mean... that is... WAH! It's going to be all right! You'll see!"

Homura nearly stopped time as the girl suddenly gave her ad hug then turned and ran away, bawling.

"What the hell?" she said.

"Akemi Homura..."

Homura spun, soul gem ready, to find a tall, green haired woman holding a giant key.

"Akemi Homura, " the woman repeated. "You've interfered with the nature of causality, and severely interfered with the linear progression of time." It sounded like a judgment. Then she winked. "Keep it up. We're rooting for you."

She vanished too.

Homura just stared blankly. She didn't even react when a police phone box suddenly appeared out of thin air, and a man stepped. out. He handed her a scarf.

"It's a look. Try it."

She looked at the ridiculously long, colored scarf in her hands as the phone box disappeared.

"What was that all about?"

Somewhere, Cubey was running away from a pack of PISSED Magical Girl Mascots wielding chainsaws and one Anemoi...

The Summer Adventures of Fuuka and Fumika

"Fumika, I know what we're going to do today!" Fuuka declared.

"Build a roller coaster?" Fumika said hopefully.

"Nope!"

"Tree House Mecha?"

"Try again."

"Take over the world?"

"Too Chao."

"Give a monkey a shower?"

"Too Phineas and Ferb, and SCM-sama hates that show."

Fumika sighed. "It's going to be decadently habitual incestous loli twin sex again, isn't it?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

"At least let me be on top this time!"

"Fine, YOU be the platypus secret agent, and I'll be the mad scientist joke-villain's hot gothy daughter..."

- To be continued...

A/N: I have no regrets…

…

Screw it…

SCM lovingly caressed Schedule Slip's face as he took her from behind…

It's a TvTropes meme. Look it up on the All Purpose Negima Fanfic thread, which is where I hang around…

BTW, Overmaster and I are working on a crossover between 2814 and Unequally.

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.