A/N: Everyone, if you know what's good for you and you have good taste, you will read Overmaster's "Unequally Rational and Emotional". It be awesome.
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Yue's Harem and the Philosopher's Stone
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. I am making no money off this. Quite the opposite, really. Akemi Homura is awesome, and you know it!
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Vivid
"Class, I would like to introduce your new teacher, Negi Springfield-san," the principal said, gesturing for them to come forward.
Negi stepped forward and faced the class. "Hello, I'm Negi Springfield and I'm glad to be here at St. Hilde Academy. I've just arrived from Unadministered World 97. Pleased to meet you…"
In her seat, Vivio Takamachi felt herself staring as her mind began bombarding her with strange thoughts...
…
"Well, there's no doubt about it," Shamal said, after a week of strange behavior on Vivio's part. She looked sympathetically at Nanoha and Fate. "I don't know how to tell you this, but it seems like Vivio… is straight."
Fate gasped. "Are you sure?"
Shamal nodded sadly.
Fate began to cry. "My poor baby! And we tried so hard to raise her right! Nothing but Utena, Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl, Candy Boy and Pretty Cure for TV! How could she learn of such a deviant lifestyle?"
"Unfortunately, Utena contains small amounts of het, so..." Shamal shrugged helplessly.
Fate turned to cry on Nanoha's shoulder. "Nanoha-chan! I'm a failure as a mother! I couldn't even teach Vivio proper values!
Nanoha patted Fate on the shoulder. " There, there, Fate-chan. It's not so bad. Maybe Vivio's just bisexual. At worse, we'll find her a nice futa-girl…"
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The Quick and the Dead
Mana could see dead people. It was one of 108 secret abilities her demon eye possessed, including putting people under an illusion, starting black fires, mind control, and using the moon as a giant eyeball for controlling the world.
She'd known about the ghost in the classroom since day one. Paranoia was a survival trait for her, or it had been since she'd come hereto sort-of retire, and it hadn't really left her in this soft, peaceful, unreal place she found herself in. She'd seen the ghost. She'd seen a lot of things, including the vampire in the back, the robot, and the ninja. All three of them.
The vampire she'd investigated and decided not to antagonize. The robot became a seemingly harmless curiosity in due time. The ninja was irrelevant: guns were the weapon of today, and anyone who brought their knives to a gunfight deserved the perforated belly they got.
But the ghost...
She'd had to study it further. During the day, it hadn't done anything, had barely seemed aware of herself. The only sign it might have been aware of the world around it was that it dutifully stayed in its seat during lessons and only roamed about during breaks. Habit, perhaps?
Still, it was a rare ghost who showed its malice in the light of the sun. That first night, she'd snuck into the room, eye open and seeing, gun and some of the new ofuda she was learning to use in hand.
The ghost sat at her chair, head lolling. Mana tensed. Was it preparing its vile dark powers, turning the entire room into its weapon?
The snore that echoed through the night and the snot bubble that formed on the ghost's face had Mana tripping in exasperation.
That little bit of noise seemed to snap the ghost to wakefulness, and Mana remained tense, kneeling where she'd fallen as the ghost turned quickly to survey the room. "Wh-who's there?" she said, her voice quavering. "Please don't let it be ghosts, please don't let it be ghosts..."
Mana blinked at this. Was she hearing right? The ghost was afraid of ghosts? Bemused, she stood, revealing herself.
The ghost saw her. "KYAAAAAHHHHHH!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!" it screamed in terror, turning and running away.
Mana had been torn between pursuing and letting it go. After all, the venture hadn't netted any useful data. Still, it was too risky after that outcry, and so she headed back to her new quarters.
The next day, the ghost's scream of heartfelt terror at her entry into the room actually made the blackboard eraser fall over as she flattened herself against the farthest corner of the room away from Mana. Only two people seemed to notice. The vampire seemed mildly amused, but quickly grew bored. Takahata-sensei had raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment.
Mana had felt mildly guilty over frightening what was now obviously a harmless little spirit. It was a strange, foreign sensation to her, after so long. Guilt, unlike paranoia, was NOT a survival trait where she had roamed.
Neither was apology...
The ghost blinked at Mana from across the room as Mana placed some small pieces of food, some incense, and an ofuda of blessing on the empty chair of the classroom. Then the gunner took a step back and stood, waiting and staring at the ghost patiently, waiting fora response.
It took half the night, but Mana was patient. She'd learned to wait for opportunities like this, never moving, never betraying oneself. Eventually, finally more curious than afraid, the ghost drifted towards the small collection, looking down at it. Then she looked up at Mana, fear still in her eyes. "I don't understand," it said.
Mana tried to seem unimposing. she thought she'd gotten good at it over the years, but the ghost still cringed back from her slightly. "I'd like to apologize for frightening you," Mana said. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, but I thought you wouldn't mind a small offering..."
The ghost stared at her in bewilderment as Mana felt a strange embarrassment. Then the ghost smiled, brightly, warmly, and Mana wondered how she'd ever managed to think this girl might have been malicious. "Th-thank you..." the ghost stuttered, bowing deeply. "I'm... I'm Sayo. It's nice to meet you."
"Mana Arcana," Mana said by reflex, then winced.
"That's a pretty name, Arcana-san," Sayo said, though she was obviously trying to be diplomatic.
Feeling uncomfortable, and seeing her deed as done, Mana abruptly turned to the door.
"See you tomorrow, Arcana-san!" Sayo called out.
…
…
…
Mana stared at the small clump of flowers resting on her desk.
"Hey, look!" Asakura called out over Mana's shoulder, making the sniper jump. Damn the media! Why must they get underfoot everywhere? "Someone's got a crush on Tatsumiya-san!"
"What?" "Ooh, let me see!" "Who sent the flowers?" "Was there a note?"
Mana stared at Sayo's empty seat, where the ghost was waving enthusiastically at her. The window next to it was still partly open, and a petal was wedged in the window track. Mana blinked at her in confusion, and essayed a small, discreet wave, which made the ghost's face explode in joy.
What had she gotten herself into?
"… and that's the story of how I met your mother," Sayo finished.
Sayo's adopted daughter Dani sat at the couch, her ghost tail swinging from side to side in boredom as she gave a sigh of relief. Next to her, her dark-skinned, red-haired sister Rally did the same.
"Now, as to how I met your father," Sayo continued, and the two girl groaned," It was about a year later. I didn't really know him at first when he began teaching 2-A… "
"Can't we go yet?" Rally moaned, looking sideways at Dani. "I wanna do some Darkenning-type, decadent habits stuff..."
Dani blushed.
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Miscalculation
"This," Chisame pronounced, glaring sat Hakase," is all your fault."
The mad scientist pouted. "ME? How is Haruna making an anatomically correct Negi-sensei my fault?"
"When the measurements you give her don't specify everything is in centimeters, and she draws in inches."
The cry of "IT'S SO BIG!" was still ringing in her ears...
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I Put On My Robe And Wizard Hat
"HARUNA!" Chisame bellowed. "FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP CALLING THE CONDOMS THAT!"
"But it's fun!"
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Pirate Versus Ninja
Kaede stalked up to Mana's desk and slammed down a sheet of paper. "I knew there was a reason I couldn't allow you to defeat me-gozaru," the ninja said, uncharacteristically grim.
Mana looked down at the picture, which clearly showed her in the midst of various people on a boat. "This is a picture of me when I worked on the Black Lagoon, before I came to Mahora. What of it?"
Kaede jumped back and drew out her knives. "PIRATE!"
Violence ensued.
This time, everyone glared at Chisame. "This is all your fault," Asuna said levelly as gunshots and knives were exchanged behind them.
The net idol squirmed. "How was I supposed to know that meme was real?"
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A Bunch of Chi- er, YUE Shipping Fics
"Life takes you to some very strange places sometimes," Yue contemplated.
In the desk next to her, Emily raised an eyebrow. "How's that?"
"Well, at first I always thought I'd grow up to be a librarian, or a philosopher like my grandfather," Yue said. "Then I thought I'd grow up to be a Ministra Magi for Negi-kun, or a Mage Knight. Who'd have thought I'd become the logistics director for New Ostia?"
"Yes, it is a bit out of left field," Emily agreed. "By the way, the papers for the next shipment is in."
Yue nodded. "I'll take a look at them after my lunch break."
Collete's pushed her head out from under the desk, face... wet. "YUE!" she cried. "Your turn down here!"
Beatrix crawled stiffly out from under Emily's desk, only for the blonde to pull her to her lap and lick her face dry. "Yes, it's a strange world we live in," Emily agreed, before she crawled under the desk and Bea took her seat...
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Fluctuations
Paio Zi peered intently at Nodoka's bare breasts, while the purple-haired girl blushed in embarrassment. "No doubt about it," the Chichigami declared, nodding sagely. "Your friend has Breast Badass Inflation."
Yue nodded. "I thought so."
Chisame twitched at this new weirdness. "And what is THAT supposed to be?" she demanded.
Paio Zi raised a finger in a lecturing pose. "Speaking plainly, it means her breasts get bigger when she's being a badass, and shrink when she's at rest."
Chisame facepalmed. "Are you kidding me?"
Nodoka looked thoughtfully at this as she dressed herself. "Excuse me, I have a call to make," she said, heading for the phone, and dialing.
CLICK.
"Hello?"
"Rakan-san? I was wondering if you were free to take on a new student..."
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- To be continued...
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A/N: Enjoy and review! A LOT!
Also, check out it's sister fic, "Tales of Homura's Harem",a Puella Magi Madoka Magica fic.
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.