A/N: Here we go again!

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Bride of Yue's Harem

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. I am making no money off this. Quite the opposite, really. Akemi Homura is awesome, and you know it!

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More Than 31 Clown Princesses In Amber

All of 3-A just lay where they'd finished, staring up at the ceiling.

"Wow," Haruna finally managed to pant out, the first to regain her voice. "I have to say without a doubt that was the KINKIEST thing we've ever done."

"I agree-gozaru," Kaede panted. "And I speak as a fully trained, professional sex ninja and Fuuka and Fumika's Master."

The twins, both wearing dog collars along with everything else, nodded in agreement.

Chisame was crying. "How have I fallen so low!" she wailed. "I used to be the normal one!"

Matoi patted her reassuringly. "Don't worry, Chisame-sama," she purred. "I still love you..."

Everyone blinked at her. "What are YOU doing here?" Yue asked. "This is my harem fic! I don't remember inviting you."

"Oh, SCM-sama got tired of wondering if we'll ever get a deeper non-parody relationship in Unequally, and since he likes me, he threw me in," she chirped.

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged, even as they struggled not to laugh at what they saw.

"That's fair," Cassandra Cain said.

"It's why I pop up a lot," Death agreed.

Homura, busy with Madoka and Makie, didn't deign to respond.

Everyone sighed and leaned back once more. "Zazie, it is official," Misa declared. "You're kinkier than me, end of story. My panties off to you!"

"As you should," Poyo said, holding her sister tighter, heedless of the stickiness between them.

Zazie pressed her nose. "No talking," she murmured. "Ruins image."

Asakura pulled out her notebook, still somehow supernaturally dry, and began to write on it. "It's official, then. Clown make-up and full-body covering of honey is going into the 'for special events' list..."

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Royally Messed Up Family

Nagi and Negi stood nervously outside the door of the room Arika and Yue were talking.

"This is kinda scary," Nagi said.

"It's only Yue talking to mother," Negi said. "How could that be scary?"

"Some of the scariest things in the world have happened because of two women talking in a room," Nagi said. "I wanted to be an astronaut, but my aunt Hermione insisted to my mother I go learn to be a Magister first like my cousin Rose. I could have gone to the moon!"

Both Springfield men sighed dreamily at the thought.

The door open and Arika stepped out, adjusting her shoulder strap, Yue following behind. "You have my blessing in your pursuit, Miss Ayase. Good luck."

Yue finished wiping her mouth. "Thank you, Arika-sama." She nodded at the men. "Nagi-san, Negi-sensei."

The two blinked at her. "What was that about?" Nagi said as Arika made some notes on a clipboard.

"Ayase, Farandole, Sevensheep, Monroe… oh, Yue-chan was just… convincing me to approve her request," Arika said with a bright, satisfied smile. "NEXT!"

Evangeline stomped into the room behind Arika.

"Now, Miss McDowell, you've applied to be mistress to either my husband or my son…" Arika said as she closed the door.

Negi looked even more confused. "Why did the Master have a can of whipped cream and chocolate syrup?"

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A Little Tsundere

"I'm not doing this because I l-like you or anything…"

"Of course."

"I'm just horny, that's all!"

"Whatever you say, Eva-san."

"And you're the right size so I don't get a crick in my neck or anything…"

"As you say, Eva- san…"

Yue never had the heart to tell Evangeline she'd heard all the same, practically line for line, from Emily…

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Necrophilia

It turns out, Sayo could possess other objects besides the little straw figure from Mt. Osore.

Yue never had to buy batteries for her vibrator again.

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A Decadent Habits Side Story: I Liked You Better When You Were Me, Yue Edition

No one noticed when the two Yues were exchanged. Certainly Emily didn't. Or Nodoka. Or Collette. Beatrix might have noticed if she wasn't busy with all the attention Yue was suddenly slathering on her.

It was only after Alladia's defeat that the two managed to switch back with the help of a Chao— but, as she vehemently told them from her full metal 'chastity powered armor', neither of their Chao (she had declared her name both a singular and a plural to avoid name jokes)— who muttered darkly about GL code 849822s and left.

Upon return, one Yue had to evasively shove off questions about whether she'd gotten sick, and was she feeling better, and could they FINALLY get back to the usual sleeping schedule.

The other Yue had to explain where exactly she'd learned Evangeline's combination Ice/Lightning spell, and thanked every deity she could think of that the only one who could confirm or deny her excuse had apparently lost all her memories between now and her tenth birthday. Though there were other problems…

She was still wondering where the other her had found the time to sleep with the highschool dodgeball team… and the cosplay club… and 3-F… and that Yuki girl from the school festival… and the Gymnastics team… and Takane… and her Ministra… and Ala Iridia…

She vowed to move to Ariadne and STAY there!

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Yue-sama the Fanatics

When Queen Iono recruited Yue into her harem as a sobame, the queen assured her that she wasn't a Lolicon and would wait until Yue was legal before engaging in carnal intimacies.

Two weeks and half of the castle's hundreds of sobame later, Ioni belated realized Yue had made no such promise.

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"Damn you"

To this day, Haruna's father Ranma still rails at Yue for using the last of the water from the Spring of Drowned Boy for herself.

Yue believes it's a small price to pay. At least he'll never know it was all Haruna's doing. Haruna regards it as the best thing she's ever done. Literally.

Yue still draws the line at taking Negi's anal virginity, though. Why bother with that when the reverse was more fun…

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Yue/Fate Knight

Yue had no idea how she got roped into this 'Holy Grail War' thing. She barely survived a highly Freudian attack from Lancer by sheer luck. Somehow summoning Saber despite lacking the knowledge to do so kinda pushed it beyond sheer luck into the realm of Deus Ex Machina.

When the Loli with Berserker called off the attack because, "I-it's not like I l-like you or anything! It's just that you're so, ah, pitiful! Yes, pitiful! So I'm calling Berserker off! But watch your ass! Your cute, tiny, pert, firm ass…", however, Yue just had to wonder if she'd somehow stumbled into the plotline of an eroge.

After she somehow broke Shinji's hold on Rider, to Sakura and Rider's delighted— and enthusiastic— gratitude, got kidnapped by the previous aforementioned loli, had to recharge Saber's magic with a threesome with Rin, defeated Berserker and somehow wound up with Illya living with them, found out Caster was somehow a future version of her that Rin had somehow summoned— after they'd ended up in bed, of course— she decided to stop thinking about it…

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Child of Mine

Yue closed the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes as if to blackout the world. "How many now?"

"Well…" Chisame mused. "So far we have your daughter by Negi from the future, your son by Negi from the future, you hermaphrodite child by Negi from the future, your futanari daughter by Negi from the future, your child by Kotaro from same, your child by Fate, by Quartum, Quintum, Dynamis, Jack Rakan, Godel, Nagi, Eishun, Yuuna's dad, the headmaster, some guy named Akamatsu, a bunch of guys called Ala Iridia, and Hugh Jackman. Then apparently there's your children with or by girls. Apparently someplace called Jusenkyou is involved. There's your kid by Sayo, your kid with Kaede, your twins by the Narutaki twins, your ipod by Chachamaru, your kids with some girls called Ala Iridia—"

"Yue, next time, maybe you should use a condom, " Haruna advised.

"BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT WITH THESE PEOPLE YET!"

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DEEP LOVE

Jiiiiiiiiiiii…

Chisame looked up, twitching. "Oh, COME ON!" she cried. "This is a completely different fic, by a completely different author, in a completely different continuity! Why are you still following me?-! This is no longer 'Unequally Rational and Emotional'!"

Matoi smiled, wrapping her arms around Chisame from behind. To her horror, she found herself shivering at the stalker's touch. "My DEEP LOVE can transcend any distance, overcome any obstacle, " Matoi whispered. "And of course, there's my secret weapon…"

"Which is?" Chisame said, finding herself growing hot.

Matoi smiled, and whispered in her ear, "SCM-sama likes me… and we're in a series that likes to throw away the ship-tease for text…" Her fingers crept downward.

Chisame gasped as Matoi rubbed her (CENSORED), taking her from behind…

Hours later…

The two stared at the ceiling of the motel room.

"Is this the same place all those people in CRACC go to?" Chisame asked.

Matoi snuggled against her, glowing in contentment. "That could explain why there's a copy of 'Super Smash Brothers: Magical Girl Siscalypse edition' lying around…"

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- To be continued...

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A/N: You need to have read Decadent Habits, by Darkenning to get one of these, but I guarantee it's worth the read…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.