A/N: And thus, it has ended. The ever-beautiful Negima manga has published its final chapter, leaving shounen at the mercy of brainless bruisers like Naruto and One Piece. We are all doomed.

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The Harem Yue Only Knows

by Shadow Crystal Mage

Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Ken Akamatsu. I am making no money off this. Quite the opposite, really. Akemi Homura is awesome, and you know it!

...

Busted!

Evangeline was idly humming a random tune in class when Makie suddenly let out a yelp as she passed by, turned and gave the surprised vampire a hug.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?-!" Eva demanded.

"Ah! Eva-chan! You're one of us!" Makie cried.

"One of what?" Eva snapped, trying to push her off.

"You can't deny it, Eva-chan!" Makie said as people started staring at them. "You were humming the song! There's no denying it!"

Eva grew cold. "What song?"

Makie smiled widened even further and began to sing. "My little pony, my little pony, Ahh ahh ahh ahhh… I used to wonder what friendship could be…Until you all shared its magic with me…"

"Big adventure, tons of fun!" Fuuka and Fumika chorused.

"A beautiful heart, faithful and strong!" Ayaka sang.

"Sharing kindness, it's an easy feat," Chachamaru sang softly.

"And magic makes it all complete!" Negi finished. Everyone stated at him and he shrugged. "I'm not ashamed of it!"

"BRONY" Makie cried.

Eva wilted. "Oh, crap. Damn the catchy songs!"

...

Mirror Match

Eva stared at Eva as the little saps had their reunion.

"Hey, before you go looking for a spare Nagi…" the younger Eva said.

The other Eva smirked. "Way ahead of you. I already arranged things with the one in Unequally Rational and Emotional and the one in the 2814-verse. We can use Kitty's castle. It's not like she's going to be using it… and I know this guy called Everett…"

...

Hakase's Wedding

"I never thought Hakase would get married," Ayaka mused as she and Asuna took their place in front along with all the honored guests. "And of all people–!"

"I know…" Asuna said, adjusting her dress and trying not to grimace. Stupid thing! It kept getting in the way! At least the dresses Eva had stuffed her in were battle-approved.

The class was all there, sure enough. Princesses Naturaki and Narutaki and their husbands, Ako and Akira sitting hand in hand, Yue with the Ariadne delegation– Emily was still wearing the stupid look from when Yue announced she was taking a sabbatical from being Queen of Ariadne to become a space detective– Natsumi and her new husband, a rather pasty Chisame who actually managed to pull the 'doesn't get out in the sun enough' look off, Mrs. And Mrs. Konoe-Sakurazaki and Sakurazaki-Konoe– everyone had been so unsurprised by that they hadn't bothered to make any bets, just spent the entire ceremony giving each other knowing smirks– Godel with that supermodel he was dating he looked like Arika-sama, Nagi with the real Arika-sama…

As the ceremony got under way, everyone stood up, and as at Konoka and Setsuna's wedding, there were no bets, just knowing smirks all around.

"Dearly beloved," the ministra from the Mysteries of Aphrodite and Eros said. "Friends and family, we are gathered here to today to witness the joyous union of these to people, in the sight of the god and goddess, and amongst each of us…"

Chachamaru, the maid of honor, was dabbing at her eyes furiously, and it was remarkable how they'd managed to make a tank of a lot of extra 'reticular cleaning fluid' look like an appropriate headpiece so she didn't run out. In the front row, Chao, the graceful and happy ex, was beaming next to her date, some pink-haired moon princess from the 30th century.

"Do you, Hakase Satomi, take this…"

A for once decently dressed Eva leaned towards her date and murmured something, and Negi let out a slightly embarrassed smile and said something that was clearly a chide. The vampire just laughed, snuggling against his arm. Asuna wondered where the 'other' Eva was. Had she found a 'spare Nagi' of her own?

"…take this Hakase Satomi as your wife, in sickness and in health…"

Even Rakan was managing to sit still, and what fore had managed to do that Asuna had no idea, though it might have bee all the dirty thoughts of what would happen that night, judging from the wide, lecherous grin on his face, in sharp contrast to the slightly blank-faced Averrunci next to him, though Sextum occasionally dabbed at her eyes.

"And so, by the power invested in my, I dub thee wed. You may kiss the–"

Apparently, someone couldn't wait. Turning to her new bride, Governor Sakurako grinned widely before taking the blushing satomi in her arms and sealing the deal.

At their feet, there was a blur of white and a sudden glowing circle.

"PACTIO!" Chamo, the official contractor, yelled.

Without looking, Sakurako booted him off the carpet, to good natured laughter from the ermine.

Even Asuna laughed as she held her wife's hand. How had that book put it? They liked arguing so much they got married so they could go on doing it more conveniently?

Screw Kosmo Entelekhia. This was perfect.

...

Head Asplode (guest staring Naruto)

Naruto crossed his eyes, trying to stare down his neck. "Wait, what? I didn't eat that much ramen!"

"You kinda did," Anya said. "Relax, this is only until you pay me back. Mundus Magicus has kinda strict money lending policies. It's not like I'm going to use the detonator on the collar to blow your head off or anything."

Naruto blanched. "D-detonator?" he squeaked.

Anya rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm putting the control ball right here in my breast pocket, okay? No need to worry."

The ninja blinked. "Breast pocket? What breasts?"

Anya twitched, fire erupting around her hand as her magic manifested itself. Hey, Negi sneezed, she went all battle aura. It happens. "You're really asking for it, you know…"

The door opened and Negi walked in carrying some spare clothes. "Here you are, Naruto-san. At least you'll have something fresh to wear while we get–" that orange monstrosity burned "–your own clothes washed–"

Negi tripped, sending the clothes flying, and fell on Anya.

"Ah!" Anya panicked. "Negi!"

As Naruto chuckled, Negi pushed himself up groggily. "Sorry Anya, it always keep tripping on that…" Abruptly, he realized where his hand had, of course, landed. He blushed. "Ah, sorry, Anya, I didn't mean…" he trailed off, then paused, feeling the round thing in his hands. "Anya, since where did you have…" he squeezed on purely masculine reflex.

Naruto's head exploded into bloody gore. The two kids stared in horror.

"Crap!" Anya said. "It's that hitchhiker all over again!"

Negi blinked. "What?"

Anya sighed and readied her memory erase magic…

Fortunately, they were able to contain the Kyuubi by slapping it with Infernus Scholasticus, making it spend eternity at the Mahora Obedience School. It kept flunking out…

Negi never really found out what happened to that nice blonde boy who liked ramen, though he seemed to have left his clothes in the washing machine…

...

Angels and Demons

You never forget your first date.

The indecipherable cacophony of Mahorafest surrounded them as they made their way through the crods together. The frantic flashing of lights and sounds as they made their way through various amusement rides. The warmth of her hip pressed against his as they sat together. It was her guilty little secret.

"Eh? Set-chan, why are you blushing so much?"

"Ah, nothing, Oujo-sama! Just remembering the last Mahorafest…"

...

Cat Tales

"I don't believe this!" Homura (the fire-girl Fatette one, not the awesome one) cried, throwing up her hands. "First, Shiori betrays us for Fate-sama's arch nemesis! Then they take Fate-sama himself and brainwash him! And now they've got Koyomi! Will they never stop in their evil!-?"

"How did they do that, anyway?" Shirabe asked.

Meanwhile…

"Is Koyomi-chan hungry?" Chachamaru said tranquilly, stroking her newest pet's belly. "Does Koyomi want a snack?"

"Nyan…" Koyomi 'nyan-ed', playfully batting the piece of yarn Chachamaru wiggled at her nose.

Asuna sweatdropped. "Chachamaru, I'm pretty sure you can't treat her like a cat…"

...

Fracture

"Well, it's healed up," the doctor said, finishing binding Yue's leg. "Just take it easy for the night, and you'll be able to take off the bandages tomorrow."

Yue sighed, but nodded as Collette helped her off the examination table and handed her the cane she'd be using for the night.

"Cheer up, Yue-chan," Collette tried to reassure her. "It's not unheard off for people to break their leg with broom practice."

"When they haven't even gotten off the ground yet?" Yue asked.

"I'm sure it's happened once or twice," Collette said, a bit less certainly.

Yue winced with every step. "Stupid cane. I don't think I'm using this right."

Collette blushed, and offered her a shoulder. "Here, lean on me," she said.

Yue gratefully put and arm over the other girl's shoulder, and Collette held her hand to steady her. They walked on towards their room…

"So, how do we handle having sex tonight?"

...

Javelin

Gungnir and Titan Slayer faced each other as Negi and Quintum compared spears.

"Knew it," Sextum said blandly. "Negi's is bigger than yours."

...

- To be continued...

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A/N: Short, but I seem to be running out of inspiration…

Please review, C&C welcome.

Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.