The Mystery of the Yue's Harem Murder Case!
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Negima belongs to Akamatsu Ken. I'm not making any monetary gain form this story.
….
Cursed
"Okay Setsuna, just try walking," Asuna said gently a few steps away.
Setsuna shook her head hard, her hands tucked hard under her arms trying to move as little as possible. "It's no use Asuna-hime!" she wailed. "It's a curse! A curse, I tell you!"
"Listen to her Asuna!" Makie said from where she and ther other girls were barricaded behind a sofa, all covered in blankets held in place by a variety of strategically paced belts.
"Setsuna," Asuna said sternly. "Walk. How badly could you screw up walking? Look, the floor is clean, it's not slippery, and there's nothing to slip on. What could happen?"
Reluctantly, Setsuna took a wary step forward.
Her foot slipped out from nder her as if it was greased and she fell forward, her balance shot because of her trap arms. Her mouth opened in an involuntary cry as she belatedly spread her hands, trying to break her fall, and felt something silky catch at her teeth…
Asuna stood there, her panties around her ankles, somehow pulled down by Setsuna's teeth. One hand had broken Setsuna's fall. The other had landed on her crotch.
Wordlessly, fighting the instinct welling from deep inside her, Asuna took Setsuna's hand and gently removed it from her privates. "You're definitely cursed."
Setsuna made an indistinct cry muffled by the panties in her mouth.
….
Not Easy Being Sexy
"It's not that I don't find the attention flattering…" Yue said, trailing off to chug her mug of salty milk.
Misaka Mikoto nodded. "True, true. I'll admit that Kuroko has a mildly uplifting effect on my self esteem…"
"And it's really nice to be appreciated," Nishizumi Miho said, trying to sound positive despite her zombie-like appearance.
"But…" Saber said tiredly.
"Still…" Nanoha sighed.
"I want to actually get to go to sleep when I'm in my bed!" they all cried, breaking down sobbing.
….
Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Yue!
Yue looked down at Ruby, then down at the frilly pink outfit she was wearing and sighed. Then she opened her closet, tossed Ruby in and said, "Sort this out between yourselves."
Ruby scratched the top of her circular portion in a manner remission of scratching her head. "Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"
Something tapped her on a wing. "It means," a floating red stone with pink wings said, "That we're going to have to settle where you are in the pecking order."
Ruby turned, then started. "Eh? Who are you guys?"
"We're the rest of Yue's magical transformation objects. I'm Raging Heart, that stuff animal is Harikiri Tora, those are Mepple, Mipple and Porun–"
"There is no such thing as magic!"
"– and the extremely rude green one just calls itself Power Ring of 2814."
Ruby looked around. "Well, shit."
Anya ended up with Sapphire, and was elated she got more plot significance…
….
Evayuu Evangeline Yuusha
"Hero! Be mine!" Evangeline demanded.
"I refuse!" Nagi said.
"What if I offer you half the world to join me?"
"Hell no! Too much paper work!"
And since she wouldn't take no for an answer, she got cursed.
….
Detective Conventions
Yue attended her first Detective Convention (also known as a murder scene) about a week into setting up her agency. She thought it was a fluke. After all, what were the odds more than one detective would be present in a fancy restaurant when a recently killed body was found?
Pretty high, as it turned out.
Fortunately, between her, the Sleeping Detective Mori Kogoro, the four girls who were the apprentices of Kobayashi Opera, a guy who had a nice hat who seemed obsessed with being 'hardboiled', and a man without a face, they eventually managed to solve the mystery before anyone was inconvenienced for more than a few hours, and Yue was invited out to have a drink with them.
After that, it seemed like every week she found herself running into another dead body. It got worse when she went on vacation: that usually meant multiple dead bodies. Fortunately, they weren't anyone she knew, but it was getting creepy. Who knew Mahora had this high a murder rate?
Eventually, after the Kamen Rider Murder Case (where Fourze was murdered on the moon by a weirdo running around calling himself Akiba Black, which was solved because Sherlock Sherringford noticed the culprit was standing around twirling his mustache and cackling evilly) Yue decided for the good of the world, all detectives would have to live in isolation.
It took a while, but it was amazing how sharply the murder-rate of the country plummeted.
….
Resident Eva
"Hakase," Asuna said, eyebrow twitching as she tried for patience then decided against it. "What the hell is going on out there?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!" She gestured out the windows at the dark night outside. On the other side of the room, Chachamaru, Kaede and Mana were finishing the impromptu barricade of the classroom door using the nails left over from the school festival constuction.
Hakase had the good grace to look embarrassed. "Uh, well, you see, Chao had many projects going on. Apparently, one of them was an attempt to use Evangeline-sama's blood as the basis of a cure-all and life-extension procedure. She sought to isolate the relevant genetic material in Evangeline's blood and use a viral distribution agent as a means of introducing it into a subject to grant them the health improvement factors."
Most of the remaining members of 3-A in the room looked blank, but Konoka, Yue, Nodoka and Haruna all groaned as she spoke.
"You know what they're talking about?" Asuna asked her friend.
"No," Konoka admitted. "But that much technobable can't be good." Haruna, Nodoka and Yue all solemnly nodded in agreement.
Asuna blinked. "How can you be sure?"
"We're librarians," Yue said. "We know these things." She turned to Hakase. "Let me guess. The sample is unfinished and untested. It got loose, infected someone, and now things are going horribly wrong and the infection is spreading."
"Most likely by biting," Haruna sighed.
Hakase blinked. "Er, yes. How did you know?"
"We're librarians," the four chorused.
Outside, many hands began to pound on the door. Mana cursed, drawing her guns as everyone drew their pactio cards, summoning weapons. Those who couldn't screamed and backed away from the door, though Ku and, to Asuna's surprise-but-not-really, Ayaka joined to armed lined, falling into martial arts stances.
The door broke, and a wave of short, loli, fanged blondes stumbled into the room. "Springfield!" they all roared mindlessly as they stumbled into the room.
The E-Virus was loose. The Evangeline apocalypse had begun.
….
Puella Magi Yue Magica!
"Yue?" Nodoka asked, eyebrows furrowed. "Who's Yue?"
Haruna stared at her a moment, the small bells in her hand all that was left of an important existence, and bowed her head. "No one," she said. On her arm, her buckler felt so heavy, so tempting to use...
….
Support Group
"All right everyone," Yuuki Riito said. Despite his enthusiastic greeting, he remained firmly seated in his plastic chair. "We have a new member here today. I'd like to introduce Miss Sakurazaki Setsuna."
There was a smattering of polite applause that instantly cut of in cries of fear and warning. Setsuna, who had begun to rise so she could bow and acknowledge everyone as she usually did, was reminded of her circumstances at the sudden panic and quickly but carefully sat down. Instead, she raised her hand to wave, feeling foolish. "Um, hello everyone. I'm Sakurazaki Setsuna and I'm cursed."
"Hello Setsuna-san," came the various and varied not-quite chorus.
"Why don't you tell us about yourself and your circumstances, Setsuna-san?" Riito said, very careful to stay exactly where he was, on the chair farthest from Setsuna. It was probably going to be a futile gesture, but as the person with the strongest curse in the room, he had to take the most precautions.
"I'm not sure where to start…" Setsuna said, feeling everyone's eyes on her. Though there was mostly sympathy in their gazes, she could see a few who looked incredulous and disbelieving. "I began a few days ago. I don't mean to brag, but I happen to be a skilled martial artist and swordswoman who is usually in completely control of my movements at all times. Yet recently, it seems like I can't take a step without something going terribly wrong. I slip on perfectly level ground, I trip at the smallest provocation, and I have to look at my hands at all times because every time I'm not literally watching where it's going, I almost always end up placing it somewhere embarrassing, like another girl's chest! Also, it seems like every door I open will have a partially or completely naked girl behind it!" her voice rose as her litany progressed, and that last was said in a despairing, exasperated wail. "It's like…! Like…!"
"Like every girl you know has suddenly forgotten how to lock a door," Hitoyoshi Zenkichi said, nodding.
"And developed a sudden nudist streak," Kyon added.
"That's it!" all the other people in the room declare, pointing at him.
"And then they blame me!" Setsuna cried. "It's not like I'm a pervert or anything!"
"Exactly!" Emiya Shiro said. "We're just victims of circumstance!"
"Yeah..." Itou Makoto said shiftily. "Victims..."
They all sighed.
The door opened and a sad-faced man in anachronistic clothes stuck his head in. "Is this the Wangst Club meeting?" Itoshiki Nozomu said.
"No, we don't hold that for another hour," Ikari Shinji said.
Leaving the meeting took half an hour, mainly since they all had to slide off their chairs onto the ground, move away from each other, and then go out the door one at a time, lest there be any accidents. As it was, Setsuna accidentally ended up groped, completely by accident, at least seven times, and she became embarrassingly familiar with the other member's.
Eventually, they moved everything online, where they only had to worry about constant clicking on the weird ads their advertiser seemed to connect their forum to.
….
Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Yue 2wei!
"Two Yues…" Collete said, staring at Yue and her dark-skinned, scantily clad counterpart.
"Two Yues," Nodoka confirmed, looking between the two, taking them both in.
"Two Yues," Emily said, her mind already at the most logical conclusion.
The two Yues looked at each other. "Run," they chorused, and bolted.
This only staved off the inevitable, however, as the dark-skinned Yue eventually need to restore her prana…
Anya eventually gave up and ran away to another universe in an attempt to get more plot significance.
….
Evayuu Evangeline Yuusha Redux
"Hero! Be mine!" Evangeline demanded
"Uh, sure?" Negi said, blinking in confusion. "What for exactly, master?"
Evangeline stared at him and slumped. "The other way isn't too satisfying either," she sighed.
….
Puella Magi Yue Magica: Rebellion!
As Yue reached down for Haruna's Soul Gem, Haruna's hands snapped up, trapping hers.
Yue started. "Haruna-chan?" she asked, surprised.
"Not again," Haruna said, eyes opening. "I'm not going to let it happen to you again!"
Yue screamed as Haruna's Witch Barrier spread across the whole universe.
Goddess is dead. All hail Akuma Haruna...
….
Fate/Kaleid Liner Prisma Yue 3rei!
"Anya's latest stunt to gain more plot significance has really gone overboard," Yue commented.
Kuro Yue shrugged, staring at the seemingly empty crater, knowing the invisible castle hidden at ti's center. "Well, lets go get her."
Together, they faced the unknown.
….
- To be continued…?
….
A/N: I'm seriously running out of ideas for this series...
Oh well. I hope you enjoyed this while it lasted!
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.