Christine's POV
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Erik was kissing me can you believe it, Erik was kissing me! My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest I felt that electric current feeling again it made me tingle all over. I'm glad that Erik was holding me for my legs had turned to jelly. I placed my hands on his upper arms and slowly made my way to his neck. It felt so right kissing him. Not like with Raoul yesterday that had not been enjoyable at all. But this kiss oh this kiss I did not want it to stop. Raoul's kiss was nice but it had been boring. Erik's kiss was full of passion, my hands had made their way to his hair. It was so soft much softer then Raouls had been.
Erik's tongue made its way to the seam of my lips. I opened them willingly lost in the moment. His tongue tentatively touched mine I moaned low in my throat and brushed my tongue against his. Erik must have liked it for he pulled my body closer to his. He traced his hands down my neck and rested them on my hips. It seemed like we kissed for hours but it was likely only a few minutes. I was getting dizzy from lack of air when Erik broke away.
He spun around, walked to the edge of the roof, and rested his gloved hands on the ledge. I was trying to catch my breath and slow my heart rate down. That was the best kiss I've ever had even though I've only had two. But what Erik said next completely shattered my feelings of passion.
"Christine I'm so sorry please forgive me."
It felt like he had picked up a knife and stabbed me in the heart. I couldn't believe my ears. He was sorry? He regretted kissing me? But why? I thought everything was going fine. I made my way to the ledge.
"Angel I don't understand why should you be forgiven? Do you regret kissing me?"
"No its not that I just hadn't meant for that kiss to go as far as it did. I hadn't even meant to kiss you I don't deserve it I'm a monster Christine a monster don't you understand?"
He turned away from me once again. I grabbed his hand and turned him to face me. He wouldn't look at me he just stared at the ground. I placed my fingers under his chin and raised his head to look at me.
"Erik I've said it once and I'll say it again. You are not a monster you're a human being just like me. Your better then most people that I know even me you can see the beauty in things that most people can't. Your music its," I paused for a moment what could I say his music was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard "its indescribable." I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Erik looked down at our hands he seemed amazed that I would even want to touch him. But I wanted to touch him most of all I wanted him to kiss me again. I felt myself blush I shouldn't be thinking that way, but I couldn't shake the feeling.
"Thank you Christine but I know what Madame Giry told you. How could you not think I'm a monster after that? Can you look me in the eyes and honestly say that you don't think I'm some spawn of Satan?"
I looked up into his gray, green eyes they had become so precious to me in such a short period of time. Precious I thought? Yes, I realized looking into his eyes so scared and vulnerable, they were precious to me. I knew that Erik loved me he tried to hide it but I knew. I could tell even when he was just a voice behind a wall. I think that I was starting to get deep feelings for him also. Even though I've only known Erik the person for a few days I'd known Erik the angel since I was a young girl. He had been there for me when no one else was, how could I not have feelings for him. I cupped his cheek I could hear his sharp in take of breath I realized my hand must have been cold against his warm skin and I went to pull away but the laid his hand on top. He leaned into my touch just a little.
"I can and I do. Erik you are a very kind and considerate man. I know that your past must have been a hard one but I want you to know that I will never judge you for something that you did so long ago. You thought that you were doing the right thing. Many people would have done the same thing "
He started to shake his head and was about to speak when I put my finger over his lips to silence him.
Tears were welling up in my eyes. I didn't want Erik to see himself as anything but a man but I didn't know how to change his mind. It was something that had been told to him since birth and it would be very hard to undo the damage that had been done. I wanted Erik to know that I didn't see him that way and that I never would. But I didn't know how to get through to him. I've already told him time and again but it seemed that he didn't want to believe that a person like me would actually want to be around him or talk to him.
I turned away from him staring at the view of Paris, it really was breathtaking. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and when you looked down it looked like the whole city was twinkling from the lights of the houses. I was watching my breath make little puffs of steam when I felt Erik put his hand on my shoulder.
"Christine please lets not argue." I turned toward him. I could tell he was confused and frankly so was I. I needed to find away to get through to him but how? I guess I would have to think about it later for he suggested going down to his home for a lesson. I agreed it was getting quite chilly and I didn't want to catch a cold. I hated getting sick and I knew that he would just blame himself for taking me up here. Erik lead me one of the statues that had a secret door behind it. I had Erik go through first I knew he knew the way better then I would. There was a type of lantern on the ground right next to a box of flint to light it with. Erik lit it and held his hand out to me I was about to take it when I heard a noise. I could hear the main door to the roof open and voices. It sounded like a man and a woman, they must of not wanted to be found if they were out here on such a cold night.
I was listening to see if I could match the voices to faces. Erik turned to see why I was waiting and was about to speak but I shushed him. The look of shock on his face made me giggle. It seemed that the infamous Opera Ghost had never been shushed before. I put my hand over my mouth I had forgotten about the other people and I didn't want them to hear me. My face must have been amusing for Erik started to chuckle. I sigh a little, even his laughter sounded like a beautiful melody. Our fun was cut short however because I could hear footsteps getting closer. I hurried into the passage and shut the door as quietly as I could. I turned around and came face to face with Erik. Our noses were almost touching I looked into his eyes he seemed as surprised as was I. I hadn't known that he would be that close, I looked down at his lips. They were rather nice looking, soft and full still a little red from the kiss we shared earlier. I gaze went back to his eyes I blushed when I realized that I had gotten caught staring.
Erik cleared his throat took a step back and held out his hand to me.
"Come."
I was a little disappointed I had really wanted for him to kiss me again. I had a feeling that it was something he didn't want to repeat though. But I would think about that later I had other things on my mind.
We had been walking for a while and I couldn't stand the silence anymore. It was very eerie in the tunnels, the walls were damp some even had a little moss growing on them. There were even rats down here Erik didn't seem to mind but he had been around them for a far longer time then I had. I had seen a few mice yesterday when he had taken me back to my dressing room. But these things were huge at least as long as my forearm, ok so I might have been exaggerating a little bit but they were still rather large.
I noticed that we weren't at the boat yet which was strange maybe we were taking a longer route to it. I decided to ask just to keep my mind off the beasts that were on the ground.
"Angel are we going to reach the boat soon?"
"We're not taking the boat this time."
We had reached a T in the tunnels I think I recognized where we were.
"If you go right here it will take you to the hall that takes you to your mirror. You'd just have to take a left a little ways up. If you go left it will take you straight to my home. I thought I would take you this way just in case you ever wanted to leave and I was indisposed or if you ever wanted to come and see me."
He said that last part in a sad but hopeful voice. I wanted to brighten his mood a little so I took his hand and pulled him along.
"Thank you for showing me the way and of course I would love to come visit you. We still have my lessons after all."
I looked back at him with a sly smile on my face.
"Maybe we can even think of ways of getting Carlotta to leave."
That made him smile just a little. I knew Erik hated Carlotta just as much as I did so did everyone else in the opera house for that matter. Except for maybe Piangi but I could tell that she got on his nerves at times.
We turned a corner and suddenly we were at the edge of Eriks home. It was quite nice down here with the lake and all the candles, it seemed like a dream. I wondered if anyone else knew all this was down here. I walked over to Eriks organ staring at all the music. There was so much of it some pages were in a stacks, some were crumpled up on the floor, some even had slash marks over them. I could imagine Erik sitting here for hours getting lost in his music. I could see a red book full of compositions on the front it said 'Don Juan Triumphant' . I picked it up and started flipping through it, I could read some of the music and hummed some parts. It sounded dark, mysterious and full of passion.
"Erik what's this?"
"Just something I'm working on, here let me take that for you."
I set the folder down and turned toward him he started untying the cloak from around my neck. His fingers brushed my skin I realized he didn't have his gloves on. He had long, slim fingers a little boney but they didn't look skeletal. When I looked up into his face I cocked my head to the side. Something about him seemed off, he looked paler than usual his eyes seemed cloudy also. I raised my hand to his forehead he was burning up.
"Angel you're feverish. Do you feel ok?"
"I feel fine."
He wouldn't look me in the eye so I knew he was lying. Right after that he started coughing. I pulled to the bench for the organ to sit down. I started to rub his back I didn't know what to do. I was looking around when I spotted a glass. Water that's what he needed didn't papa always get me water when I started having coughing fits. I grabbed the glass but I didn't see any thing that looked like it contained water. I turned toward the lake but I didn't know if it was drinkable. When his coughing subsided a little I asked if he had any.
"There's some in a container in my room."
When I walked into the bedroom there was a table with a few decanters on them. I picked the clear one hoping that it wasn't alcohol. I took the stopper off and sniffed. I couldn't smell anything so I poured some in the glass and tasted it just to be safe. It was water thanks goodness, I could here him start to cough again. When I got back to his side I felt his forehead it seemed even hotter then before. After he stopped I gave him the drink it was gone in two gulps.
"Thank you. Christine I'm so tired I hate to ask but could you help me get to bed?"
"Of course. Here put your arm around my shoulder."
He was heavier than he looked but nothing I couldn't handle. When we got to the swan bed I had him sit on the edge so I could take his shoes off. When that was finished I helped him with his jacket and vest but he stopped me when I reached for the buttons of his shirt.
"I can get it. Could you go to the wardrobe over there and get my night clothes?"
I opened the wardrobe door to find a mirror attached to the back of the door. Folded in one of the drawers were several sets of night clothes. I was surprised to find only one pair was black, one was a dark forest green colored one, another a royal blue, a blood red, and there was even a dark purple one. I chose the dark green one it reminded me of the woods right before sunset. I handed him the clothes he looked absolutely exhausted.
"Are you sure I cant help you?"
He looked up at me smiled and nodded. When I left the room I wandered to the organ I had always wanted to play since I was a little girl. Papa said he would teach me but he died before he ever could. He had taught me some of the violin but I hadn't played in years. I pressed a couple of the keys maybe Erik could teach me one day.
"Christine?"
"Coming"
Erik was laying in bed with the blanket up to his chin. I saw a couple more blankets folded in a chair in the corner. I grabbed one and placed it on top of him, I could hear him yawn as I got the chair from the corner and set it down next to the bed so I would have a place to sit also.
"Thanks for the blanket and for helping me."
"Your quite welcome."
I realized that he still had his mask on I didn't want him to be uncomfortable. He couldn't possibly sleep with it on.I would remove it myself but I didn't want a repeat of yesterday. I would need to tread lightly so not to upset him.
"Angel please I want you to be comfortable, why don't you take your mask off?"
Eriks POV
She wanted me to remove my mask, was she daft? Did she not remember what I had said yesterday? How could she want to look upon this face? I couldn't even stand to that why all the mirrors were covered.
"I'm perfectly comfortable! I will not be removing my mask, an angel such as you should not have to witness the monstrosity that is my face."
She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand.
"Your face holds no horror for me now. I assume that you don't normally sleep with it on."
"Well no but,"
"Also I don't remember running away or screaming when I saw your face yesterday, do you?"
"No but,"
"Erik please I don't want you to hide yourself in your own home because of me. I just want you to be comfortable."
She obviously wasn't going to let this go. So she wanted to see my face fine but I knew that she would change her mind. She would be repulsed by it I couldn't blame her if she never wanted to see me again. But what she said was true she hadn't run away screaming she had did what I least expected and actually touched me. I took a deep breath already regretting what I was about to say.
"Fine but I warn you, you asked for this."
I reached up slowly and pulled the mask from my face. I closed my eyes not wanting to see the look of disgust on her face.
"See isn't that better?"
My gaze shot to hers she was actually smiling at me, smiling. I released the breath I didn't know that I was holding.
"Christine you truly amaze me sometimes."
"What do you mean?"
"Most people wouldn't be sitting here looking at me as if I were a normal person."
"Well I'm not most people."
Wasn't that the truth I thought. I started coughing again I'd never been sick a day in my life. How many times had I gone up to the roof on colder nights then this? My head ached, I was freezing, my throat felt scratchy, and this dammed cough. Being sick wasn't something I wished to repeat ever again. I yawned I was also exhausted I don't think I'd ever been this tired before.
"I'll let you rest Erik."
Christine started to rise but I reached for her hand to stop her.
"Please don't leave."
"Ok"
I was grateful when she sat back down for some reason I didn't want to be left alone. I realized that we didn't have our lesson today. I guess her voice would be fine without one days practice. I still wanted to hear her beautiful voice though.
"Christine?"
"Yes angel?"
"Will you sing for me?"
"Of course. What would you have me sing?"
I thought for a moment but nothing came to mind.
"Um you can choose."
She chewed on her bottom lip as she sat in thought. My eyes were immediately drawn to her mouth. I was thinking of the kiss we shared I hadn't meant for it to happen but I also couldn't regret it from happening. Her lips looked so inviting it was all I could do not to pull her head down to mine. I was pulled from my thoughts when Christine started speaking.
"I'll sing you something my father wrote."
'I have watched you fall
Through those tender years
And every time I thought there
Must be more that I can do
You found a light a different
Way out there in front of you
'I am in your eyes just that
Close to you and now I see
Your innocence against a
Troubled sky everything
You once believed is now
A question why its ok
'Don't lose your faith
Don't turn away
Everything that makes you
Who you are will not lead
You astray when it gets cold
To dark to see reach in your
Soul and find me there
I'll always be your
Constant Angel
Your Constant Angel'
I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I squeezed her hand trying to comfort her I was about to tell her to stop but she kept going.
'Who can ask the years
To keep its truth from you
There will be times when you
Wont believe in much of anything
That's when you'll find the
Grace of God in just surrendering
Its ok'
'Don't lose your faith
Don't turn away
Everything that makes you
Who you are will not lead
You astray when it gets cold
To dark to see reach in your
Soul and find me there
I'll always be your
Constant Angel'
'In every prayer I am
Constantly there with you
Don't lose your faith
Don't turn away
Everything that makes you
Who you are will not lead
You astray when it gets cold
To dark to see reach in your
Soul and find me there
I'll always be your
Constant Angel
Your Constant Angel
Your Constant Angel'
Tears were running down her face I couldn't stand to see her cry. I was thinking of something to say but Christine beat me to it.
"That song was on a piece of sheet paper my father had put in one of my books. I found it after he died. When I feel lost I read it and I know that my father is always with me."
"It was beautiful." Was all I could think to say.
"Yes it is."
She gave me a tearful smile I gave her hand another squeeze and was about to say something when I yawned. What was wrong with me I was never tired. It must be this dammed sickness.
"You need to rest. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll just go sit by the lake and read a book."
I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. I thought she was going to leave but what she did next surprised me. She turned back toward me leaned down and kissed me forehead.
"Sweet dreams Angel."
Maybe being sick wouldn't be so bad after all.
I now that it took me forever to get this chapter up. I guess I kinda felt that it wasn't good enough but I pulled through and got it done. I'm not really happy with this chapter but hopefully you guys like it. There may also be some grammar issues but my beta hasn't gotten back to me so... Anyway please review and thanks for reading (Song: Constant Angel by Ramin Karmiloo hes soooo freaking gorgeous)