A/N: Oh look, an update after a year! I'm sorry for the huuuge wait; admittedly, I kinda forgot about this fic until about a month ago. Hopefully there's someone out there yet who'll still enjoy this chapter? I think this was one of my favorite chapters to write so far, actually, because I really get to set up for my plot with a lot of the dialogue here. I know there's not much going on event-wise, but I really put a lot of focus on Riley's thoughts and such, since they're really important in this stage of the fic.
Anyway, to whatever readers may be lingering, I hope you enjoy this newest chapter! :)
Chapter Six: Our Return
Was I afraid? I was too numb to tell; too busy praying to count the emotions moving like fluid through me. It wasn't as though I'd found religion or a god to pray to in that expanse of months of my freedom; I just needed some relief in this moment of complete mental chaos, so I could only look to any deities that may have been listening in.
"I'm not going to try to run from you, Seth." My tone was low, subdued, and I was almost entirely sure that he couldn't hear me over the sound of my heart striking up a fierce beat. Honestly, I wasn't sure if he was going to use that tyrannosaurus against me or if it was just a means to get his threat across. Either way, I had reason for my concern; one, because harm could potentially come my way, and two, because just this mental dilemma alone proved how little I knew this person that my own brother had become.
He merely watched me with pursed lips, and I explained myself, my voice tight in my strain for a satisfying response, "You're right. This has gone on long enough."
What was that look? A hint of a smile?
In a second's time, it was gone, so I disregarded the possibility. That theory was negated further as he said suddenly, lacking none of his characteristic coldness, "Then we should depart immediately. You've wasted enough of my and the Alpha Gang's time."
I grew silent and lowered my eyes as I walked to him. He returned the dinosaur to its card and stood impatiently waiting for me. The simple, few steps that separated us felt less like the first steps toward home and more like a death march. And when I came within arm's length to him, he turned and led the way to where he'd skillfully hidden that familiar helicopter I had jumped from in what felt a long-off dream. And thinking about it now, at the most random and maybe inappropriate of times, I was probably very lucky I'd survived that fateful night.
When I followed him into the aircraft, the most prominent thing I felt upon looking in was surprise and maybe perhaps even a little happy. Because lo and behold, sitting in the cockpit, was a friendly face I didn't mind seeing.
Given the circumstances, I forced myself to repress the urge to smile. I tried to exude warmth in my voice, though; enough to make certain Seth sensed the absence of such feeling when I talked with him. "Hey, Rod. You look well."
Even from his sitting position in the cockpit, I could tell he'd grown taller. Probably hitting a growth spurt. His dark hair had grown longer and the hair framing his face was beginning to curl around his ears in such a way I just knew he hated and Laura thought was adorable, and when the little pink-haired girl said so, his face would turn bright red and she'd laugh. That was just how things went with those two.
"Hey, Riley," he returned, his eyes scanning me up and down once before making out the minute hints of a smile. He too knew the circumstances of this meeting were anything but cordial; it wouldn't have surprised me if Seth had forced him to come along, since as far as competence goes with the Alpha Gang, there weren't many more so than Rod. "You look good, too."
"Thanks." I sat down in a passenger seat and buckled up as Seth took the chair next to Rod and worked the controls to prepare for takeoff. I was done talking for now, to Seth especially.
As the whir of the helicopter's propeller began to fill my ears, blocking out the sound of Rod on a headset informing those on Zeta Point of our current status, I propped my elbows on my knees and folded my hands. There was nothing I could do now; I had a feeling that if I jumped this time, I wouldn't be so lucky. That stunt last time was a once in a lifetime, skin-saving miracle.
All I could do was wait and see what happens. There was a chance that someone had picked up the phone, heard the gist of my situation, and got the others, but it was impossible to know for certain. Did they even know where Zeta Point was? There was no way of knowing until something either happens or doesn't happen. It was miles off the coast of Japan; I wasn't even sure if they could even see it from the coast of the mainland.
Either way, it seemed my chances of them coming to my rescue were about a million to one. I'd probably have to save my own tail somehow; the question was how. It wasn't like I could fly an aircraft on my own, let alone get to the hangar without being spotted. And even if I did get away and I got back to the Taylors', there wouldn't be anything stopping Seth from coming back and trying to kidnap me again.
No matter how much I didn't want to admit it, Seth and I would have to talk and come to some sort of ultimatum. And from my past experiences I knew that it wasn't often that he'd give any ear to my demands. I was growing older and stronger, with my own ideals and opinions, and Seth would have none of that.
But still... I pressed my forehead into my folded fists and punctured my bottom lip with my teeth. I don't want to have to do this alone; I need the D-Team. I don't want to go back; not after how hard I worked to get away. I squeezed my eyes shut and gulped down whatever feelings were trying to work their way up. I drew a single breath. Max better have picked up that phone. Even he would've known exactly what was going on... Come on, guys. I need you...
"Riley? Did you hear me?"
I lifted my head and upon looking to the cockpit, locked eyes with Rod. He was looking at me curiously, a little skeptical, and I realized I was totally unresponsive to whatever he'd been saying. I hadn't been listening; admittedly, I didn't even realize he'd been talking to me in the first place.
"I'm sorry." Even I could tell that my voice didn't sound very apologetic. "I'm just...spacey." Spacey couldn't have been further from my real state of mind, and I was sure he knew that too."What did you say?"
"It's not important. Never mind." The disappointment in his voice was blatant, and I instantly felt guilty for making him feel that way. He was trying to be the positive air that my brother wasn't, and I had made his efforts in vain. My first regret since waking up this morning, and I knew it definitely wouldn't be the last.
He tried again. "Laura can't wait to see you; she said she has a surprise for you. Can't say what, though; she's been secretive all week."
All week? My mind jumped at the thought. So they knew I was coming back for at least a week, which means Seth must've been intending my return for much longer than I thought then. He may have even planning it since I left... I furrowed my brows. But then what was he working on that took this long...?
With a lag time that was incredibly unusual for such an ordinary, innocent conversation, I finally replied, my voice a little too flat, "I can't even imagine what she's got cooked up. Knowing Laura, there'll gonna be no possible way for me to prepare myself..."
The helicopter suddenly lurched from turbulence, and I peered out of the window next to me. We were well above the water, but I could still see the choppiness of the waves below. Looking out the front window, I saw Zeta Point growing increasingly larger before us. Between the lab, beach, and wooded landscape, I couldn't see any difference from how it was the day I'd left. But that was basically how it was here. Unchanging. Stagnant.
Rod was now relaying information received through his headset to Seth, who seemed to be barely listening at all. "It is eleven thirteen, and we're now cleared for landing. Winds are from the southeast, twenty-seven miles an hour. Mostly clear with little cloud cover."
He spoke cleanly and smoothly, clearly accustomed to such protocol. He was so serious, uncharacteristically serious, and it was just so weird to me. Just how much has he grown since I've been gone?
In a matter of about a dozen minutes, we landed on the launchpad, and the helicopter came to a gradual stop. The whir of the propeller slowed and became quiet as Seth and Rod climbed out, and with hesitation, I silently followed. When my feet stepped upon the firm ground, it got to me. Everything got to me. It all caught up and put me in a headlock and wouldn't let go.
I thought for sure I was going to cry, but I surprised myself with dry eyes. This was square one. Everything that I had fought and worked for, the freedom I'd wished and prayed for—suddenly, it was just all gone. And I had to stand here powerless as I was stripped of absolutely everything.
And with all of this, I also lost a piece of my mind.
"I don't understand you, Seth!" The way my voice ripped through my throat and how it hurt me as it shot out were new sensations. Never before had he heard my voice like that, which caused him to turn, and admittedly, I'd never heard it like that either. But I kept going, unwavered by the confusion I'd cast on myself, "I don't understand why you have to do this! Is this some complex, messed up conspiracy you're dragging me into?! Why can't you let me go?! Do you enjoy watching me struggle for happiness like some little rat caught in a maze?!
"This is stupid, Seth—all of it! I hate this game you're making me play! Did Dr. Z make you kidnap me and bring me back to this godforsaken island?! Or is this your own little concoction?!" My words were practically amusing him; I could see it on his face. And that fact only made me angrier. "What is going on in your head that justifies this?! Japan was the only place where I've ever been happy—I had friends and a home and a stable, normal life! That's what I've always wanted and dreamed of, Seth! What would Mom and Dad think of what you're doing right now?!"
His jaw tightened, and I knew I'd struck a nerve, at least with that last part. He took a step toward me, and momentarily, we only stared at each other, eyes locked. What is that look in his eyes?
A few more steps toward me, and he reached out and smacked me.
My eyes instantly began to water from the sting. I reached up and gingerly touched my cheek, my eyes still remaining on my brother's face. My mouth was firm, and I tightened my eyes rigidly, despite the urge to blink the pain away. I said nothing, waiting for him to justify himself for hitting me. He'd never done it before, so I knew something now was different.
"They would understand my reasons." His tone was surprisingly collected, holding neither coldness nor anger within its notes. "But don't make judgments of things you know nothing about, especially regarding people you don't even remember."
I stared hard at his back as he walked away to the lab. The emotion I had seen in his eyes was legitimate; it was the most I'd seen out of him in a very long time. He clearly had a scar over the memories I didn't really possess, but he was wrong in saying I didn't remember them. I could. I could remember their faces clearly—I could never forget a face, especially those of the ones I missed the very most. Seth just wanted to convince himself otherwise.
I could recall their faces, but no memories that contained them. I was too young then; too young to hurt then. Only years later could I recognize their fate and mourn the loss.
When I rose from my reverie, I met Rod's concerned yet confused eyes. The boy that had looked older to me in the helicopter now seemed younger again as he wore a facial expression seemingly under his years.
He furrowed his brows and frowned. I wasn't sure if he was trying to hide his utmost confusion or if he was pitying me. He didn't say anything aloud, but his eyes said plenty. I read clearly the most prominent of his silent words, and it was a question, Are you okay?
Reading that on his face reminded me of the pain I'd momentarily pushed to the back of my mind, but regardless of such pain, I dropped my hand back down to my side. At least this pain would go away soon.
"I'm not okay," I answered him. I didn't look at him, only keeping my gaze on the lab ahead where my brother had disappeared. I wasn't sure what my next move was going to be, but a little time to figure out was something I could deal with. Plus some time to let the feelings between Seth and I to simmer a while before trying to approach him with some sort of deal would've probably been ideal.
I approached him, and together we began toward the lab. He still didn't say anything—I wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't know what to say—but out of the corner of my vision, I could clearly see him shooting the occasional glance over in my direction. He still had that look on his face.
The day was still young; plenty of time for me to think. Maybe I even still had a room to call mine to hold up in until I could come up with a decent plan. And maybe if I was even luckier, Helga wouldn't interrogate my ponderings and would just give me things to eat without any sort of inquiring. But, I decided, I'll just think wishfully on the few important things. Like getting home. That's what matters most.
"I'm not okay..." I repeated quietly, more for my own benefit than his, but then added, "But I will be." I lengthened my stride, now walking with a purpose imprinted in my mind and with resolve renewed. "I will because this isn't over."