8
I feel the dread of this place overpowering me. I am in fear-in awful fear-and there is no escape for me.
Dracula, Brom Stoker
"Ellie? You have to get up. You're not supposed to sleep like that if you have a concussion." The Australian accent floated through the pile of pillows I was surrounded by and finally dragged me out of slumber. My head and cheek was throbbing twice as bad as they were before when I at least had a little bit of adrenaline still flowing.
I groaned and sat up slowly like Frankenstein's monster. That was probably a pretty accurate description considering how blue my face was. I forced my eyes open slowly. When everything came into focus, I saw Neela sitting on the end of my bed in a button up shirt and jeans with her ever present boots on top. The sunlight was streaming in from the open door. It had to be early afternoon.
"Morning." I mumbled groggily. I ran a hand through my knotted hair that hung in twisted waves because I went to bed with it wet without so much as combing it. I also noticed I didn't unmake my bed, which explained why I was under a mountain of throw pillows.
"Afternoon." She replied with a cheeky grin. "I brought you take out." She picked up a grease spotted paper bag that had been on the floor beside her foot.
"I know I don't say this much, but you're my best friend ever. I knew there was a reason why I gave you my spare key." She laughed.
I dragged myself out of bed and into the kitchen without changing out of my sweat pants or trying to fix my hair. Neela chattered about everything that had been going on with her school friends or DK's crew while I ate silently. I nodded every once in a while even though I was much too tired to take in what she was saying. I laid my head down on the cold counter top after I finished eating and continued to block her out.
"-and then there's Han's new guy." I immediately started to listen when she mentioned Sean. My selective hearing had yet to let me down. She told me everything from when she met him in the subway to when he made her mad the other night with his speculations on how she wound up in the drift world.
"Can you believe he called me a pissed off army brat?" She asked indignantly. She seemed to really like him up to that point.
"Don't take it personally." I told her. "He almost described himself. Except he's more of a troublemaker than an army brat."
"You know him?"
"He was like another brother."
"Did he tell you why Han gave him the keys?" I peeked at her from under my elbow. Her face was lit up with curiosity.
"No. I really should have asked. I meant to ask Han the other day, but it slipped my mind."
"How is Han doing?" Neela asked innocently. I got up from my bar stool to get a bag of ice. I took my sweet time which started to get on her nerves.
"Good, I guess. I haven't really talked to him." I replied nonchalantly. I could tell she was up to something and it made me nervous.
"I talked to Twinkie the other day." A sly smile spread across her lips.
"About what?" I asked cautiously.
"He said that Han's latest fling left in a huff because she was jealous of you. Now why would some conceited supermodel would have a jealous fit over your friendship with Han?" She drawled out her question with a smug look. I knew she knew everything and was just waiting for me to say it.
"He kissed me and then got mad at her when she got possessive."
"I can't believe you made out with Han. Twinkie said there was something between the two of you," She had a wide grin pasted on her face.
"There's not. It was just a kiss. The boy always has his lips on somebody."
"Not someone under 5'10"." She teased. I let out a sigh.
I really liked Han, but there was never going to be anything there. I didn't want to wind up one of his flings that got tossed out after a week. I voiced that to Neela, but she just rolled her eyes.
"Han could use a girl like you." She replied.
"A hot mess?" I joked. She shot me a half-hearted glare. "And for the record, I think you could use a guy like Sean."
I stayed with Neela, talking and laughing like I didn't have a care in the world. At least, I did until my phone rang.
Z
It was hours later, and I couldn't quit quivering like a Chihuahua in a meat freezer.
Working for the mafia was a good job, when it was going right, but the second a problem arose, so did Kamata's temper. The man was terrifying enough to squash any thought of rebellion or any sign of incompetence I had by simply raising his voice at me, but that was never really enough for him. He had to get his threats across the most passive aggressive way possible, while waiting to tear me apart if I reacted.
Kamata was in a foul mood, which worsened considerably when I said something that he considered smart ass. He took me on a walk through his little empire of back streets through his loyal crowd of threatening subjects before he sat me down at a table to discuss the problems I had with my run with him personally. The table just happened to be in the back corner of a strip club where he forced girls to work for him.
I had to lock my muscles like they were in rigor to keep from shaking in front of him. Of course, knowing I was uncomfortable and hoping I would have a breakdown, he drug out the meeting for as long as he could.
I thought I was home free and was running for the door when a man grabbed me. It scared me so badly that I froze and he took the opportunity to spin me around and take a good look at me. They bantered back and forth for almost a full minute before I realized they were discussing numbers.
The second I was released and safely in my car, the trembling started. I was now safely on the couch of my garage and it hadn't stopped. I had nine text messages from Twink asking me to meet everyone at the garage so they could get something tweaked on Sean's Evo and then go to the mountains to practice, and I had ignored them all. I couldn't keep it together in front of them, and I especially didn't want to have a come apart in front of Sean; he had been like an over protective older brother to me, and I didn't want him to make him worry about me even more than he already was.
The plan of hiding out in my garage until I got myself calmed down was shot to hell when Twinkie called.
"Hello." I answered as steadily as possible.
"Thank God, girl. Didn't ya get my texts? We're meeting on the mountain." Twink yelled without a greeting.
"Twink, I'm tired." I whined.
"Are you sick? I can hook ya up with some lunch." He asked.
"No. I'm not, but-" I started.
"Okay. Then meet us on the mountain." I sighed as he hung up. Twinkie always made it so I couldn't tell him no when he wanted me to go somewhere. If I didn't show up, he'd come and get me.
I hauled myself up and started walking towards my car. It was only a couple of hours; I could do it.
Z
"Ellie! There you are. Come have a seat." Twink greeted me as he pulled his feet off the cooler being used as a coffee table so I could slip by and sit beside him. I propped my feet up on the cooler and crossed my arms over my chest before I exchanged a greeting with the people there, except for Han and Sean who were talking by the Evo. I was hoping the color would come back to my face before they noticed how pale I was.
They might actually not notice; they all knew what happened and were politely avoiding staring at my bruised and battered face.
I kept a forced smile on as I watched the people talk around me. I was still freaking out about what had happened earlier, and if they weren't so distracted bickering about Sean's driving they could have spotted it immediately. I tried to follow the conversations around me, but my mind kept straying.
What happened to me when I wasn't useful as a driver anymore? Would I just be shot? Would I be made to work off the debt in another part of the Yakuza's businesses? That thought sent a shudder through me as I thought of the way some of those girls looked at me. Some of them looked at me helplessly like they were begging me to do something to get them out of there, which I couldn't do. Others looked at me with pure anger and resentment because I was sort of free and they were not. I was barely surviving now; I would not be able to live like that.
"Again!" Han's voice snapped me back to present as he yelled at Sean. I wasn't paying attention and barely heard the roar of the Evo. I watched Sean flip around and turn back towards the bottom of the road. Han scraped his fingers through his hair to fix the damage done by the wind from the passing car and recrossed his arms as he watched Sean's tail lights disappear.
"Hey, Elle." He called.
"Yeah?" I answered slowly.
"Come see what we got to work with." He yelled back. I reluctantly pulled myself off the couch and stepped over the cooler to stand beside him. "How's you're head?"
"It hurts."
I snuck a glance at his handsome face from my spot next to him. His full lips were pushed together in concentration and his dark eyes were zeroed in on the first visible curve that Sean was going to be round in a few seconds. I was grateful for the distraction that Sean was providing, because the second he looked at me, he would know something had gone wrong with Kamata. He always was very good at seeing through people.
The Evo shot down the road before twisting ungracefully into the bend and lurching out at an awkward angle. I ground my teeth together at the protesting screeches the brakes made as Sean over shot the next corner. Shifting restlessly on my feet, I rubbed my eyes and hoped it would get better. It didn't.
"Again." Han yelled to him. Mouthing curses to himself, Sean smacked the steering wheel and tore off back down the mountainside to start again.
"He'll get it." I told Han quietly. I saw Han turn his head to study me from my peripheral vision.
"It'll take some time." He conceded.
"He's stubborn. He'll get it done." I promised Han with a fake smile before turning back to stretch out on the couch beside Twinkie. All I needed to clear my head was a short nap.
Z
"You got better towards the end." I informed Sean from my seat on the bottom of the stairs from Han's loft as I watched him work with renewed vengeance on the engine of the Evo. Failing to get a really decent run out of the day left him in a frustrated and cranky mood.
"Not good enough. I'm still over steering real bad on most of the corners." He growled back.
"It takes time Sean." I replied flatly. I rested my chin on my crossed arms lying on my knees as I watched him fuss over his car. He went over every part like it had the magic secret to getting everything right.
I quickly grew bored of sitting there watching him work, but I was too lazy to drag myself back up the stairs to go sit with Twink, Earl, and Reiko. Plus, Han's current fling was hovering around him. I had no idea what this one's name was, but she was a brunette that wore extremely tight clothes, had disproportionately long legs, and didn't really talk to anyone but Han; by my guess, she only had about four more days before he got bored and she was switched out for a new tight clothes wearing, long legged brunette.
I yelped in surprise as a soft, gray object came out of no where and bounced off the side of my face. The offending object happened to be the rag that Sean had been using to wipe grease off his hands. I glared up at him to see him smirking at me.
"What was that for?" I yelled at him.
"I asked you four times to grab me some water, then I realized you'd been staring into space without blinking for several minutes. I was making sure you hadn't died on me." He defended as he crossed his arms.
"I'm obviously still breathing." I snapped back before grabbing the chain railing and hauling myself to my feet. "I'll go get your freaking water."
"Thank you." He called at my back as I trudged up the steps. I rolled my eyes at him.
"I'm drinking the last water." Earl stopped arguing with Reiko long enough to yell from his table across the loft as he held it up to show me.
"Sorry, Sean. I'll get you some out of the sink." I suggested as I leaned over the railing. He dismissively flipped his hand at me without looking away from the car to tell me he didn't want any.
I left my place at the railing to wander over towards the bathroom. I saw Han walking the opposite way down the hall and scooted over to let him pass me. Instead of continuing out to the loft, he grabbed my arm and pulled me further down the hall.
"Tell me the truth." He said bluntly as he let me go to lean against the wall behind him. I frowned as I looked up to meet his dark eyes.
"It's honestly nothing." I lied. His gaze didn't waver.
"You've been shaking all day and you look terrified; you don't get like that from nothing. You're too strong of a girl." He deadpanned. I chewed on my bottom lip as I debated whether or not to lie to him.
"Everybody has their good days and their bad." I responded blandly. He obviously didn't believe me and continued waiting patiently for an answer.
"He was just-" I paused as I tried to think of a way to say it. "He made me sit across from him in the booth of one of his clubs and personally tell him what went wrong. He didn't do anything to me, besides be an asshole." I finally drug out.
"Strip club where he was selling prostitutes?" Han asked as he raised his eyebrows. He took my silence as a yes. He took his time to answer as he ran his hand through his hair again.
"Psychological abuse counts as doing something, Elle." He finally said.
"I'm just worried about what happens next time I screw up." I muttered in exasperation. "It was like he was showing me my endpoint."
He leaned forward to pull me into a hug. Not caring that I looked like a defenseless little kid, I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and rested my head on his chest. I was overwhelmed by the smell of his amazing cologne.
"That's not your endpoint." He replied stubbornly. I tried to pull back from the hug which had lasted way to long for me to not look desperate, but he wouldn't completely let go. "You're going to be okay." He told me firmly.
"I'm okay now. Just, for a little while-" I trailed off with a grimace. I knew he understood.
He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine as my face heated up like it was on fire, which made me suddenly grateful for the poor lighting in the hallway. I wasn't sure if kissing Han was going to become a regular thing, but I was kind of hoping it did.
He ended it quickly and pulled back to look at me.
"You're sure your okay?" He asked again.
"Yeah, it just freaked me out. I'm good now." I replied as nonchalantly as I could possibly manage, which wasn't very.
"Call me next time he does this." He told me firmly.
"I'm not going to give him a reason to." I answered more confidently.
"It's not your fault. You know that, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's him being a passive aggressive asshole, but I'm going to avoid pissing him off." I responded. He nodded.
"You sticking around?" He asked as he finally let go of me completely.
"No, I was up all night and with Reiko, Earl, and Twinkie arguing I didn't get much of a nap." I answered tiredly.
"Can see that." He replied smoothly. "You're going to be there tomorrow?"
"Yeah, sure." I almost stuttered.
"The docks. No later than eight-thirty. We're getting started early." He told me as he started walking back towards the loft.
"Good luck dragging Twinkie out of bed." I joked at his back.
"I'll need it." He replied. I laughed a little.
I watched him turn the corner and head back to the loft. I felt considerably better after talking to him.
It was nice to know that in this unpredictable lifestyle I had been thrust into, I at least had someone to count on.